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My life experience with dyslexia.

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I was not diagnosed until I was 40 and

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was not aware that I was different than my

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peers, uh, through my early childhood education,

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uh, with the exception of in first grade. I did get pulled out during reading

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and went to what they called the slow reading class.

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I felt a lot of anxiety with reading aloud in

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class. And when we had to go around and,

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and rotate with each paragraph,

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I would count ahead and figure out which paragraph was going to

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be mine and I would read it over and over with the intent of,

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of trying to memorize it so that I felt

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less pressure when it was my turn. But then of course, I'm missing out on

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listening and comprehending what my peers are reading before it

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gets to me.

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My diagnosis of dys dyslexia actually helped

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me understand, uh,

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my experience as much as in general in

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life. I don't like labels. Um,

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it helped me understand a piece of who I

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am and how to support and accommodate

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that part of me to allow me to find

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success, understanding my experience.

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I am mostly referring to, uh,

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when I was sitting in class in elementary and seeing my

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peers reading without effort and me knowing

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the effort that I had to put forth to feel comfortable to read out loud.

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Um, and then

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because I was putting so much effort into

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reading my one little, uh, paragraph that

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I would be losing comprehension on what my peers were reading.

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And then also when I'm reading aloud,

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I'm not exactly comprehending anything as well. So my,

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uh,

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quizzes over that material would not be scored well because

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of what, um,

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all the effort I was putting forth was to avoid embarrassment in

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class.

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And I didn't understand how they could just effortly read and

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pause and know how to pronounce all of the words.

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The experience of dyslexia

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is one that is hard to explain to

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neurotypical individuals. Um,

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when I try to explain to people that things

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on a piece of paper

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may look differently to me, um,

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even a,

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a number or a letter or a sentence might even smell

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to me like it might have a specific smell. Um, and so like that happens with,

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um, my dyslexia to numbers. Um,

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and there's also like a lot of feelings that come around those things. Um,

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and so I have specific feelings towards, um,

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numbers and specifically. Um,

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and so it's very hard to explain when I learn through seeing

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colors, shapes, smells, it's very different. Um,

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it's very tactile and it's,

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and it involves all of my senses in order to be able to process

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through my learning disability. Um,

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and so it can be quite overwhelming at times. Um,

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it's, it's been a,

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it's been a difficult process to try to get people to

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understand. Um,

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but I think that there are so many other things that contribute to

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that, that learning disability that's, that's not, um,

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just as is in paper.

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And so like thinking about it in terms of um, the,

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the social stigmas that come with it, um,

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and trying to explain all of those different pieces together.

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Used to think I was so stupid. I used to cry in the inside, uh,

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my classroom saying, oh, I wish I wasn't this stupid.

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I wish I wasn't this stupid. I know I'm smart, but I just wish I wasn't stupid.

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Seventh grade year I had a teacher throw pencils at me.

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I had books thrown at me just because I was stupid. And my parents like,

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that's it. We're getting, we're getting tested. So I finally got tested,

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got flying colors with dyslexia, dyspraxia, speech and writing.

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But when, when I first got my diagnosis, I was crying in the hallway saying,

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I thought I was so stupid. 'cause I end up like in the resource classes,

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I didn't think I was gonna ever do well again.

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And I just brought down into tears while like,

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all these kids are laughing at me for having it.

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Actually I've learned I had it in first grade because my mom had it and she saw

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that I like wasn't really reading or I would confuse letters.

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And I actually looked at a picture from preschool and I was confusing letters,

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like obviously on like a piece of paper. And I was like,

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so it's obvious that I did have it,

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but my first grade teacher didn't believe my mom,

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but I did got tested and I had it. And then I relearned how to read

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my first grade year. And then from like then on,

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from like first to like sixth grade,

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I did like tutoring like three times a week after school using like the

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Susan Barton method.

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I think like I confuse letters a lot and I say words wrong a lot and I spell

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words wrong majority of the time,

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like writing papers is usually kind of difficult sometimes.

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Or like reading stuff on exams, that's always not,

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that's always kind of difficult.

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I have to like read it twice to make sure I'm like fully understanding what it's

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saying and like,

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not confusing a word with like another word my mom like was like,

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you have dyslexia. And she like told my first grade teacher.

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And then my teacher at the time was like, no, she does it like,

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it's like too early. Like you can't like say that now. But then like,

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I also got tested then,

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and then like I got tested like later in like eighth grade again too.

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And I like still, it's like consistent

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For me.

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I got diagnosed with dyslexia my junior year of high school and

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after I got diagnosed I started using um,

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like the Apple voiceover technology on like my computer.

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And it would read the test to me and my test scores went from being like D's

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and F's to A's and B's and I was like in shock. I was like,

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there's no way that like all my life I've been like capable of like

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answering like all the questions on the test,

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but just like couldn't really like process what was on it.

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But like now that's being read to me. I can.

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So I'd say the biggest thing is like the struggle at first when I was young

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for my, my parents honestly,

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like it started where like my parents didn't really like

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know that I had it,

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so we would try to like read things together and I just couldn't read at all.

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So it like, it got frustrating for me and for them 'cause they were like,

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he has problems. Like we don't know what to do. So like we went through all the

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tutoring, like special classes and eventually,

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like one of the teachers says that like she told my mother that she wasn't sure

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if I'd ever get it it, so my mom took that as we should get him tested,

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see if there's anything wrong. And we found out I had dyslexia.

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I just went on life through a school called, um,

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it's a weird name actually. It's called the Skank School. And uh,

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they are one of the number one dyslexic teaching schools in the country.

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And they, um, use a form of teaching called Orton-Gillingham.

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And it's pretty much just using both sides of the brain to read.

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And they teach you through tons of different like,

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skills that they use from all the Latin roots that they

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make you learn and everything so you like can remember the patterns of words.

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And that's pretty much just how I learned. And I just,

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I didn't start like learning how to read until almost the first year I

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learned how to read there,

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but nowhere else could teach me and it was so beneficial.

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But I still struggle with it all the time. So like,

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names is really hard for me and like certain words that I just have a

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trouble spelling. I started attending this school in fourth grade,

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so it was fourth grade to sixth grade. And they, um,

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just really hammered it into you. It was kind of, it was a lot actually,

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but I mean, without it, I don't think I'd be able to do what I do now.

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After I went to that school I was fine. Like it was crazy.

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Like the amount of information and knowledge that they gave to me and the skills

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to use I use every day. Like there's certain,

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I don't even know I'm consciously using them most of the time it's pretty

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interesting, like how they just change your brain.

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But um, from what it's changed is like now I can read,

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I can read any level book, but um, I obviously have my struggles,

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but for the most part I'm confident I can read

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everything. And I've successfully gone through college so far,

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so everything's been much better than if I hadn't gone to that school.

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My daily life I see myself, um,

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avoiding a lot of paperwork type things, um,

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especially multiple page. Uh, i,

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it feels overwhelming. So I put it to the side.

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I'm gonna go back to that, um, on paper or emails as well.

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I don't use assistive technology frequently on emails and I

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probably should, uh,

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utilize it more in academics. Um,

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I utilize text to speech quite a bit.

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Um, also speech to text when taking notes,

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um,

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when taking notes outside of class. When I'm taking notes in class,

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I do prefer to hand write them, um,

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despite getting lost a bit.

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But I do hand write my notes in class

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when I have digital textbooks.

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I will use my MacBook to read the text

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book to me because I'm able to better comprehend the text

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if I'm listening to it versus if I'm reading

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it. And when I own the digital text and have the,

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um, the text in front of me, I can follow along,

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which helps, uh, increase my, uh,

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retention of the material when I'm reading the text

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without the computer reading it to me.

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I sometimes get hung up on words to where I'm so focused

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with decoding a word that I miss the grouping

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of words and the comprehension of it.

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Yeah, no, I, I used to deny my dyslexia.

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Um, it was something that I,

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I thought maybe I'd just grow out of it eventually. Um,

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but that's just because I grew up in a very conservative Christian home where

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my parents believed that, um,

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either I was just dumb because I was female, because there's a,

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there's a sense of, also on top of my dyslexia,

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there's also gender inequity. And so in, in the religion that I grew up in,

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I grew up in a very conservative community where, um,

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females were meant to be married, children and they went about being wives

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and homemakers and things like that.

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And so then having a disability on top of it just proved to them that this was

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my pathway in life and I was supposed to do that sort of thing. Um,

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my parents didn't really, didn't test me, refused to test me, actually.

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Um, they, we were,

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I was homeschooled my whole life and so I didn't learn of my disability, um,

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and have the accommodations that I needed until I was well into my twenties

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trying to struggle through getting through school. Um,

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and so like there's a lot of baggage that comes with it.

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And it wasn't until after a few years

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after my,

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my diagnosis that I actually started to claim

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dyslexia as my own. Um,

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I remember not wanting to make excuses for myself.

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And so when somebody were to like say a phone number really fast to me

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or say something that I needed to type or write down, uh,

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I would just like pretend like I didn't hear it or something and be like,

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can you say it again to me? Um,

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or I would just like ask somebody else to figure it out or I would just like

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not do it. And so nowadays though, I I,

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I like call out my dyslexia and I let people know if I'm gonna ask them to say

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something such as a,

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a phone number or if they're gonna give me information that I need to

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transcribe, I'll tell them I'm dyslexic.

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And I would like for you to say it very slowly and I may repeat it back to you.

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Um, and I just wanna norm normalize that. So

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I work at a pharmacy,

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so my dyslexia could really show up when I'm like typing people's names in.

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I always flip flop the words on accident.

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Like even like the directions I'm so bad at them.

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I would take myself the entire way around before I even find a place.

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I think that's really it. I mean, my parents,

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I also talk really fast or have like a kind of a speech impediment or,

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and my writing skills aren't really great,

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but they're like great enough where I can like write, well,

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I just can't write like handwriting wise. Well, if that makes sense.

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So in daily life, um, with dyslexia

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it's kind of difficult on like, anywhere from like reading street signs to like

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even reading like signs.

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So for academics it's really difficult in class, um,

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when there's like PowerPoints in class 'cause I can't really like process like

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what's on the slide,

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but as long as the teacher like kind of reads it out or summarizes it,

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then I'm okay.

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But it's still kind of tough because I feel like I'm missing like information

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that everyone else just like reading and processing. But I'm not,

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It's definitely part of my daily life for sure.

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Whenever it's come to texting or writing anything, it's definitely part of it.

239
00:16:59.095 --> 00:17:03.005
Every day I would say I notice it and like words that I use,

240
00:17:03.285 --> 00:17:08.285
I confuse words easily or I kind of say things in a weird

241
00:17:08.345 --> 00:17:11.525
way, but other, that's my day-to-day.

242
00:17:11.525 --> 00:17:13.725
And academics when it comes to writing papers,

243
00:17:14.585 --> 00:17:16.645
making sure that it makes sense,

244
00:17:17.235 --> 00:17:19.685
like the sentence in a paper and it flows,

245
00:17:20.665 --> 00:17:22.645
that's something I had to work on.

246
00:17:23.065 --> 00:17:27.245
And then like reading stuff takes me maybe a little bit longer,

247
00:17:28.095 --> 00:17:31.725
which is like kind of annoying, but like, not awful,

248
00:17:32.345 --> 00:17:36.165
but reading takes longer in school and like writing for sure.

249
00:17:37.185 --> 00:17:38.445
I'm trying to think if there's anything else.

250
00:17:39.525 --> 00:17:40.645
I don't think there's anything else.

251
00:17:40.975 --> 00:17:45.725
Maybe just like mis like saying words and confusing words in like classes and

252
00:17:45.725 --> 00:17:46.558
stuff.

253
00:17:46.585 --> 00:17:48.725
It would be every day 24 7.

254
00:17:49.105 --> 00:17:53.045
So I think the big thing with my dyslexia,

255
00:17:53.285 --> 00:17:56.565
'cause I know most people, some people have different, like,

256
00:17:57.645 --> 00:18:02.485
I don't know how to explain that. It'd be different severities of dyslexia.

257
00:18:02.545 --> 00:18:04.365
For me, I, when I was tested,

258
00:18:04.445 --> 00:18:08.125
I have su like very severe daily thing would be like

259
00:18:09.265 --> 00:18:13.365
asking like how to spell a certain word, how to pronounce names,

260
00:18:13.985 --> 00:18:18.645
and like making sure that when I'm writing something I'm being very cognitive

261
00:18:18.825 --> 00:18:22.445
of spelling because I don't wanna spell something wrong and then somebody read

262
00:18:22.445 --> 00:18:23.885
it and not be able to understand it.

263
00:18:24.025 --> 00:18:28.925
And so being day by day with dyslexia is just for

264
00:18:28.925 --> 00:18:33.845
me being very cognizant of trying not to make mistakes and making sure

265
00:18:33.845 --> 00:18:35.045
that I realize that yeah,

266
00:18:35.085 --> 00:18:39.805
I have dyslexia and I also have these skills that I can use to help me through

267
00:18:39.805 --> 00:18:44.205
it. I'm very, I'm much slower than the average person in reading,

268
00:18:44.825 --> 00:18:48.405
so, and writing. So when it comes to like taking notes in class,

269
00:18:48.765 --> 00:18:51.565
I take a little longer. I try to like speed it up, but I don't like,

270
00:18:52.085 --> 00:18:53.325
I always feel like kind of rushed.

271
00:18:53.945 --> 00:18:58.765
So I feel like in academics I always feel rushed and I feel like

272
00:18:59.365 --> 00:19:03.325
I just sometimes won't have enough time to get something down that a professor

273
00:19:03.355 --> 00:19:04.685
says, or like,

274
00:19:04.925 --> 00:19:09.925
I need to read a certain section within an hour timeframe and it's gonna

275
00:19:09.925 --> 00:19:10.758
take me longer.

276
00:19:11.105 --> 00:19:14.965
And so that kind of like brings a little bit of anxiety to me when I'm in my

277
00:19:15.285 --> 00:19:16.118
academic settings.

278
00:19:16.705 --> 00:19:21.245
But I would say the schools that I've gone to,

279
00:19:21.885 --> 00:19:25.285
I have accommodations that they give me and it really helps out because it

280
00:19:25.285 --> 00:19:28.485
allows me to like be able to take a breath and kind of be like, okay,

281
00:19:28.485 --> 00:19:33.445
well they know that I'm gonna take longer so I can use this time that

282
00:19:33.445 --> 00:19:36.565
they've given me to just completely get everything done and make sure that

283
00:19:37.085 --> 00:19:39.125
academically I'm not falling behind everybody else.

284
00:19:51.515 --> 00:19:54.765
Cope is an interesting word. Um,

285
00:19:57.465 --> 00:20:02.205
and I feel like I've navigated the world without knowing

286
00:20:02.905 --> 00:20:07.765
of my dyslexia for so long that I don't,

287
00:20:10.205 --> 00:20:12.365
I didn't really see it as coping.

288
00:20:12.505 --> 00:20:16.605
It was just navigating life.

289
00:20:17.345 --> 00:20:18.245
Having the,

290
00:20:19.665 --> 00:20:22.565
the diagnosis and the understanding

291
00:20:24.815 --> 00:20:25.648
makes,

292
00:20:28.465 --> 00:20:32.765
allows me to show myself grace in my challenges.

293
00:20:33.865 --> 00:20:34.698
Um,

294
00:20:35.475 --> 00:20:39.565
because I do know there's a reason that

295
00:20:40.585 --> 00:20:44.405
I'm not retaining or recalling or comprehending

296
00:20:46.425 --> 00:20:46.805
in the

297
00:20:46.805 --> 00:20:51.565
Way that neurotypical people do.

298
00:20:52.365 --> 00:20:57.165
I think I've, I'm done with the coping. Um,

299
00:20:57.845 --> 00:21:02.445
I just realized this is me and I'm okay with it. Um, and,

300
00:21:02.625 --> 00:21:06.205
and most days I'm actually better than okay with it. Um,

301
00:21:06.605 --> 00:21:08.885
I look at the things that, um,

302
00:21:10.635 --> 00:21:13.765
make me unique because of my dyslexia.

303
00:21:14.285 --> 00:21:18.285
I may not process the thing, um, everything the same way as everybody.

304
00:21:18.705 --> 00:21:23.245
And I think that it has caused me to become more creative in spaces

305
00:21:23.945 --> 00:21:28.565
and look for ways to do things in different, in, in different lights.

306
00:21:29.145 --> 00:21:33.445
Um, and I, I used to think that that was like an impediment. Like I,

307
00:21:33.685 --> 00:21:37.685
I should be doing things the same way as the rest of the people in society. Um,

308
00:21:37.985 --> 00:21:39.605
but, uh, and I,

309
00:21:39.625 --> 00:21:44.365
and it used to be really hurtful to be made fun of and just not, um,

310
00:21:45.665 --> 00:21:50.005
uh, not be able to do things the same way as everyone else.

311
00:21:50.725 --> 00:21:55.485
I, I just own up to it. And I, um, and I definitely see the,

312
00:21:55.585 --> 00:21:57.525
the tracks that I, that,

313
00:21:57.635 --> 00:22:01.485
that have caused my dyslexia to make me think in a creative way,

314
00:22:01.745 --> 00:22:05.085
to find solutions that work for me and also others.

315
00:22:05.965 --> 00:22:10.325
I just don't think about it. I just say, I am smart. I proved myself. I'm smart,

316
00:22:10.345 --> 00:22:12.045
so I just don't need to think about it.

317
00:22:12.905 --> 00:22:16.365
So I found pretty creative ways to cope with it. Um,

318
00:22:17.395 --> 00:22:22.285
I've started like using like audible to like read books and I've

319
00:22:22.285 --> 00:22:23.885
used Kurzwell, um,

320
00:22:24.145 --> 00:22:28.565
to like process like my textbooks and I could like read along to them and I'll

321
00:22:28.565 --> 00:22:31.525
finish like a chapter from probably like 15 or 20 minutes.

322
00:22:32.465 --> 00:22:35.965
And it's really nice 'cause like I remember it and I don't have to like go back

323
00:22:36.025 --> 00:22:37.165
and like reread it.

324
00:22:38.685 --> 00:22:41.285
I think, I don't know, I just use it as like a positive thing.

325
00:22:41.465 --> 00:22:46.325
And I think my mom has always encouraged me and has always like used it

326
00:22:46.325 --> 00:22:49.605
as a positive tool too. And so I just,

327
00:22:51.125 --> 00:22:54.405
I just like work around it. I just work harder, I guess.

328
00:22:54.645 --> 00:22:58.685
I don't think of it as a bad thing. I think of it as like a good thing.

329
00:22:58.945 --> 00:23:03.005
So if it does get brought up or if someone notices something,

330
00:23:03.315 --> 00:23:05.325
I'll like bring it up and I'll just be like, oh,

331
00:23:05.395 --> 00:23:07.085
it's definitely just my dyslexia.

332
00:23:08.105 --> 00:23:11.685
Or I'll make it kind of like a little not,

333
00:23:11.725 --> 00:23:13.285
I don't actually make it that much of a joke about it,

334
00:23:13.285 --> 00:23:16.885
but like I'll like kind of laugh it off if I make a mistake.

335
00:23:17.845 --> 00:23:19.925
I would say I cope pretty well. I just,

336
00:23:20.465 --> 00:23:24.365
if I do have problems and like I mess up and my friends look at me like,

337
00:23:24.365 --> 00:23:27.165
what's wrong with you? Like, I'm always like, I just let 'em know.

338
00:23:27.185 --> 00:23:30.525
I'm just like, oh, I'm just super dyslexic. Like I struggle with it every day.

339
00:23:30.625 --> 00:23:35.605
And most of the time I don't really have to do that because I also have my ADHD,

340
00:23:35.665 --> 00:23:40.205
so I'm very always present in the moment and like ready for anything.

341
00:23:40.345 --> 00:23:44.645
So that helps out a lot, which is interesting. And it just,

342
00:23:45.325 --> 00:23:46.725
I feel like I cope pretty well with it.

343
00:23:47.245 --> 00:23:49.645
I feel like the reason I can describe things so well,

344
00:23:49.675 --> 00:23:52.485
like through my dyslexia to my friends is 'cause of my mother.

345
00:23:53.035 --> 00:23:57.685
Like she spent hours researching about it and understanding like

346
00:23:57.865 --> 00:24:02.685
how to help me and how to like understand how my brain works.

347
00:24:03.065 --> 00:24:07.685
So I feel like the knowledge that she has read and like

348
00:24:07.685 --> 00:24:12.685
talked to me about really helps me to be able to describe it in a way that

349
00:24:12.685 --> 00:24:16.645
people understand. So like, it's not like, oh, I read backwards.

350
00:24:16.915 --> 00:24:18.245
It's not anything like that for me,

351
00:24:18.745 --> 00:24:23.645
but for me it's kind of the sounds

352
00:24:23.985 --> 00:24:27.285
of the words and letters that go together is really hard for me.

353
00:24:27.465 --> 00:24:30.605
So when I'm reading something or I'm trying to spell something,

354
00:24:30.985 --> 00:24:34.325
the sounds aren't processing like a normal brain would process them.

355
00:24:34.385 --> 00:24:36.605
That's how I can explain it to people is like my brain.

356
00:24:36.805 --> 00:24:41.645
I can't like get the word to make sense with

357
00:24:41.645 --> 00:24:44.525
letters, be it just 'cause of the sound.

358
00:24:55.845 --> 00:25:00.725
I know at times I can feel overwhelmed when

359
00:25:01.445 --> 00:25:04.325
I am expected to

360
00:25:06.475 --> 00:25:10.605
just be able to do things in the way that others do.

361
00:25:11.405 --> 00:25:12.805
I say just asked.

362
00:25:13.125 --> 00:25:17.445
I feel like there's times where people were

363
00:25:17.945 --> 00:25:22.605
use the word just like, it's easy,

364
00:25:23.185 --> 00:25:27.045
you should just do it. Stop procrastinating,

365
00:25:27.355 --> 00:25:31.085
stop whatever. And it is,

366
00:25:31.795 --> 00:25:34.205
when someone uses the word just,

367
00:25:34.595 --> 00:25:38.485
it's like they are illustrating that their life

368
00:25:39.415 --> 00:25:41.925
makes this task easy

369
00:25:43.545 --> 00:25:47.805
and that they cannot understand your experience. And

370
00:25:49.405 --> 00:25:51.565
I have felt at times where,

371
00:25:53.545 --> 00:25:56.085
and that's where I get the feeling, you know,

372
00:25:56.785 --> 00:26:01.045
the person using the word just is kind of is

373
00:26:01.405 --> 00:26:05.365
discounting and feeling that I am

374
00:26:06.505 --> 00:26:11.245
making excuses and that I'm just trying to use this label, um,

375
00:26:11.865 --> 00:26:15.325
to maybe hinder them or, um,

376
00:26:17.665 --> 00:26:21.965
to make myself different. And it's, it's not such,

377
00:26:22.395 --> 00:26:24.645
it's my everyday life.

378
00:26:26.245 --> 00:26:31.165
Identifying with dyslexia at first was isolating. Um, it, you know,

379
00:26:31.205 --> 00:26:34.485
I don't think anyone wants to think that something's wrong with them.

380
00:26:34.785 --> 00:26:39.605
We all think of it as a negative. We're not thinking about the, um,

381
00:26:40.075 --> 00:26:44.325
some of, some of the more positive attributes of going through, um,

382
00:26:44.325 --> 00:26:45.805
with dyslexia because it's not,

383
00:26:45.875 --> 00:26:49.525
it's not something that is a positive outcome for many people.

384
00:26:49.665 --> 00:26:51.645
We don't think about it that way. Um,

385
00:26:52.465 --> 00:26:56.205
and so it was something that when I first got my diagnosis and I,

386
00:26:56.365 --> 00:27:00.165
I felt like I knew it. I knew that this was the problem with me. However,

387
00:27:00.665 --> 00:27:04.445
in when you're in school and you don't have a formal diagnosis,

388
00:27:04.905 --> 00:27:09.885
you cannot get services. And this is a huge issue because if you are,

389
00:27:10.585 --> 00:27:10.905
uh,

390
00:27:10.905 --> 00:27:15.845
low income and you cannot afford a 500 to a thousand dollars doctor's

391
00:27:15.845 --> 00:27:19.405
bill to get diagnosed for being dyslexic,

392
00:27:19.705 --> 00:27:24.605
you're running up a huge bill yourself in classes because you have to

393
00:27:24.805 --> 00:27:28.685
retake classes because you can't process through the classes and then you end up

394
00:27:28.845 --> 00:27:32.165
dropping outta school like I did, not knowing what my problem was.

395
00:27:32.795 --> 00:27:34.285
Sometimes it can make me feel stupid.

396
00:27:34.285 --> 00:27:38.125
There's times where I will get really frustrated with myself not getting something

397
00:27:38.325 --> 00:27:42.365
right away. But after I get it a couple of times, like, I got this,

398
00:27:42.525 --> 00:27:46.365
I I'm in college, how can I not be smart? How can I not do this? I'm fine.

399
00:27:46.405 --> 00:27:50.085
I just need extra time. Not usually work until like,

400
00:27:50.125 --> 00:27:52.205
I get ship myself even more to the point where I'm like, okay,

401
00:27:52.205 --> 00:27:53.165
I'm just gonna quit this for now.

402
00:27:53.825 --> 00:27:55.165
It makes me feel,

403
00:27:57.745 --> 00:28:01.245
it makes me feel like different, but like in a good way.

404
00:28:01.755 --> 00:28:03.805
I've never looked at it in a negative way,

405
00:28:04.425 --> 00:28:08.085
but I know that it makes like learning and like reading a little different,

406
00:28:08.785 --> 00:28:12.285
but I don't think of it as like in a bad way. So I guess it just makes me feel,

407
00:28:13.425 --> 00:28:17.565
um, unique. I mean, growing up in school, I guess,

408
00:28:17.635 --> 00:28:22.245
like there was only a few set of people that also had dyslexia and then like

409
00:28:22.425 --> 00:28:24.005
we were separated from everyone else.

410
00:28:24.945 --> 00:28:28.005
But it wasn't in my mind a bad thing.

411
00:28:28.585 --> 00:28:31.005
It makes me feel like really like I,

412
00:28:32.435 --> 00:28:36.405
because like a shame that I have it. 'cause I feel like I'm like,

413
00:28:38.305 --> 00:28:42.565
it makes me feel different than like all of like my friends who like don't have

414
00:28:42.685 --> 00:28:46.885
dyslexia 'cause like they don't have like the hard time that I have in class.

415
00:28:47.235 --> 00:28:50.765
Yeah. So I always like,

416
00:28:50.765 --> 00:28:55.445
thought I was like dumb because I wasn't like remembering or like understanding

417
00:28:55.635 --> 00:28:59.645
like what we were reading in class. And like when we would read out loud,

418
00:29:00.645 --> 00:29:05.485
I would always like go to the bathroom so I didn't have to read. Um,

419
00:29:08.825 --> 00:29:11.685
and I think like the teachers started to like catch onto that.

420
00:29:12.985 --> 00:29:16.685
And so they like started like letting me like skip,

421
00:29:16.835 --> 00:29:19.805
like just say skip when I would read so I wouldn't have to read,

422
00:29:20.815 --> 00:29:24.205
which was really nice of them. Um,

423
00:29:24.305 --> 00:29:29.045
and then for tests they like noticed that like I consistently wasn't doing

424
00:29:29.045 --> 00:29:33.045
well even though I was like answering questions in class and like getting them

425
00:29:33.045 --> 00:29:36.045
right, but I would get the same questions wrong on the test.

426
00:29:36.985 --> 00:29:40.965
And so they started giving me like little short five question quizzes with all

427
00:29:41.045 --> 00:29:42.325
the information from like,

428
00:29:42.325 --> 00:29:46.245
the test and they would like read it to me and I'd get it all right.

429
00:29:46.845 --> 00:29:48.045
A multitude of feelings.

430
00:29:48.365 --> 00:29:53.165
I feel like sometimes it makes me feel like I almost have a step up. Like,

431
00:29:53.525 --> 00:29:55.365
'cause all my life,

432
00:29:55.705 --> 00:30:00.685
the doctors and people I've worked with who know I have dyslexia,

433
00:30:00.995 --> 00:30:05.645
they'll tell me that it's actually a really powerful tool that you can use.

434
00:30:06.045 --> 00:30:10.445
'cause the creativity side of your brain is elevated versus the learning side of

435
00:30:10.445 --> 00:30:11.278
your brain.

436
00:30:11.345 --> 00:30:16.285
So at sometimes it can be like a major power and at other times I just feel

437
00:30:16.395 --> 00:30:20.805
kind of like in my dump, but obviously I'm not.

438
00:30:21.585 --> 00:30:22.205
But it just,

439
00:30:22.205 --> 00:30:26.245
sometimes it just makes you feel like you're not good enough to be able to

440
00:30:26.955 --> 00:30:31.765
compete with other people like that, like in an academic setting. So I feel like

441
00:30:33.305 --> 00:30:38.045
it gives me like a sense of, oh, you're weaker than other people academically.

442
00:30:38.545 --> 00:30:42.525
But I've also found that I'm very creative and I'm very

443
00:30:44.415 --> 00:30:47.285
adept with other things. So dyslexia,

444
00:30:47.285 --> 00:30:52.285
giving you a step up in my head is I am much more creative

445
00:30:52.635 --> 00:30:56.685
than the average person when it comes to just

446
00:30:57.545 --> 00:30:58.885
the way you can work around things.

447
00:30:58.945 --> 00:31:01.405
So my brain works around problems much differently than others.

448
00:31:01.665 --> 00:31:06.325
So I can use that in a way that I can apply it to

449
00:31:07.105 --> 00:31:11.885
my technology, I can apply it to the workspace,

450
00:31:12.325 --> 00:31:14.125
I can apply it to a lot of aspects of my life.

451
00:31:14.385 --> 00:31:19.045
So I feel like sometimes it really just

452
00:31:19.215 --> 00:31:21.885
makes you feel like, oh, I'm, I'm empowered by this.

453
00:31:21.915 --> 00:31:23.765
Like I feel like I can do more.

454
00:31:24.585 --> 00:31:28.845
And other times obviously you're gonna feel like you can't because you are

455
00:31:28.845 --> 00:31:32.245
disability. It is a disability, so it makes things hard.

456
00:31:32.345 --> 00:31:36.205
But that doesn't mean that it's not good in a way

457
00:31:45.345 --> 00:31:50.125
Living with un undiagnosed dyslexia for

458
00:31:50.265 --> 00:31:51.098
so long,

459
00:31:53.285 --> 00:31:56.205
I had to find ways to

460
00:31:58.355 --> 00:32:01.325
accommodate myself. And

461
00:32:04.045 --> 00:32:07.685
I have found things that work for me over time.

462
00:32:09.445 --> 00:32:14.125
I didn't know why I needed them or what, but I've,

463
00:32:14.515 --> 00:32:16.365
I've for many years, um,

464
00:32:17.155 --> 00:32:21.005
preferred audio books over paper books

465
00:32:22.105 --> 00:32:26.885
and it made sense when I received my diagnosis

466
00:32:27.145 --> 00:32:29.285
of dyslexia. Um,

467
00:32:30.865 --> 00:32:34.885
but I also believe that

468
00:32:39.655 --> 00:32:42.165
proceeding through life without the diagnosis,

469
00:32:44.445 --> 00:32:48.885
I saw things as a puzzle that needed to be solved.

470
00:32:49.905 --> 00:32:52.165
Having dyslexia, I see

471
00:32:55.835 --> 00:33:00.765
life situations as puzzles that need to

472
00:33:00.765 --> 00:33:02.965
be solved because

473
00:33:04.615 --> 00:33:09.405
words on paper were puzzling at

474
00:33:09.405 --> 00:33:11.765
times and I would need to find

475
00:33:13.915 --> 00:33:17.645
ways to solve what I was reading.

476
00:33:18.985 --> 00:33:23.565
And so I do feel like I've learned to

477
00:33:25.435 --> 00:33:29.885
kind of read between the lines and be a bit intuitive

478
00:33:30.905 --> 00:33:33.165
at times. Um,

479
00:33:35.105 --> 00:33:37.845
and I see that as an asset

480
00:33:39.425 --> 00:33:41.725
to having dyslexia because

481
00:33:43.235 --> 00:33:47.205
it's not always just black and white and that there's

482
00:33:49.245 --> 00:33:53.725
a lot more with dyslexia. I will say.

483
00:33:54.125 --> 00:33:59.045
I think a lot of people have a preconceived

484
00:33:59.195 --> 00:34:03.605
idea of what it is and what

485
00:34:05.675 --> 00:34:10.405
someone diagnosed with dyslexia is capable of. And

486
00:34:12.245 --> 00:34:16.845
I have had at a collegiate level, um,

487
00:34:18.445 --> 00:34:22.085
a professor reached out to the

488
00:34:22.785 --> 00:34:25.845
accommodations office, um,

489
00:34:26.385 --> 00:34:31.165
and let them know that he did not feel that I was capable

490
00:34:31.465 --> 00:34:33.205
of maintaining, um,

491
00:34:34.505 --> 00:34:38.885
the pace of his accelerated class, his eight week class.

492
00:34:40.585 --> 00:34:42.525
And, um,

493
00:34:44.025 --> 00:34:48.245
It was clear that he didn't understand, um,

494
00:34:51.355 --> 00:34:55.925
that my li limitations would not affect that class. So,

495
00:34:57.065 --> 00:35:00.325
um, it was an accounting class and I,

496
00:35:02.075 --> 00:35:05.765
that is something that comes very easy to me.

497
00:35:06.985 --> 00:35:11.365
So I just said challenge accepted and,

498
00:35:12.345 --> 00:35:17.125
um, made sure to, to excel. I've,

499
00:35:19.045 --> 00:35:23.005
I had no trouble, um,

500
00:35:25.845 --> 00:35:29.885
maintaining, but I I, I hoped that

501
00:35:32.835 --> 00:35:37.565
without backing down and he seeing that I

502
00:35:37.845 --> 00:35:42.245
maintained a high "A" throughout the entire

503
00:35:42.815 --> 00:35:46.245
eight week class, that it would

504
00:35:47.865 --> 00:35:49.965
strike him to

505
00:35:52.355 --> 00:35:56.285
open his mind to, um,

506
00:35:57.025 --> 00:36:01.725
the thought that we are capable and, you know,

507
00:36:01.905 --> 00:36:06.845
our limitations are just in certain areas

508
00:36:07.225 --> 00:36:09.925
and not that we're not capable at all

509
00:36:10.625 --> 00:36:14.405
At this point in my life. I, I see it as a positive, um,

510
00:36:14.555 --> 00:36:18.885
because I refuse to think of things in the negative. My diagnosis,

511
00:36:19.145 --> 00:36:23.885
my dyslexia just allows me to do things differently and more

512
00:36:24.165 --> 00:36:29.125
creatively. Um, and hopefully expand other people's mindset. Um,

513
00:36:29.565 --> 00:36:34.045
I think, but there was a time as, as a child, I don't know if it was,

514
00:36:34.945 --> 00:36:37.925
you know, growing up the way I did or, um,

515
00:36:39.745 --> 00:36:40.578
You know,

516
00:36:41.005 --> 00:36:45.885
I think also there's an issue where we think of, um,

517
00:36:46.545 --> 00:36:51.525
an individual's intelligence and their disabilities and we

518
00:36:51.525 --> 00:36:52.685
conflate these issues.

519
00:36:53.625 --> 00:36:57.805
And just because I have this disability doesn't mean that I'm not intelligent.

520
00:36:57.985 --> 00:37:00.685
And it doesn't mean that I can't ca carry a conversation.

521
00:37:00.785 --> 00:37:02.925
It doesn't mean that I can't go to school.

522
00:37:03.105 --> 00:37:07.205
It doesn't mean that I can't do the jobs. Um, and I think that those are,

523
00:37:07.935 --> 00:37:12.445
those are things that we don't really educate about and we conflate

524
00:37:12.575 --> 00:37:16.045
disability with, with intelligence. And this is a problem.

525
00:37:16.485 --> 00:37:19.965
I I have a very high intelligence iq. Um,

526
00:37:20.235 --> 00:37:23.845
it's just when it comes to processing, uh,

527
00:37:23.955 --> 00:37:27.045
information or receiving that information,

528
00:37:27.165 --> 00:37:29.285
I have to do it in a very specific way.

529
00:37:29.825 --> 00:37:30.655
Yes. Uh,

530
00:37:30.655 --> 00:37:33.765
there is times where I kind of took advantage of me having dyslexia where I'll

531
00:37:33.765 --> 00:37:35.445
tell teachers like, oh, I need extra time. 'cause like,

532
00:37:36.005 --> 00:37:37.405
I just needed to learn better.

533
00:37:37.525 --> 00:37:41.485
I need to take this test longer when in reality I just didn't do it at the time.

534
00:37:41.985 --> 00:37:44.805
And if I just got that extra time, I'll be fine.

535
00:37:45.185 --> 00:37:47.765
And usually work with a ton of teachers, like, oh yeah, you have dyslexia,

536
00:37:47.765 --> 00:37:48.045
that's fine,

537
00:37:48.045 --> 00:37:50.925
you can take as much time as you need and I'll get like an extra three to four

538
00:37:50.955 --> 00:37:54.685
days, get all of that. But then there's also these times where like, time tests,

539
00:37:54.825 --> 00:37:57.765
it did not give enough time where it's like, shoot, I had dyslexia.

540
00:37:57.805 --> 00:38:00.525
I I can't do this. Like what you just said, you didn't could do it last time,

541
00:38:00.525 --> 00:38:03.325
but you need extra time to actually do it. Like, well, yeah, I,

542
00:38:03.845 --> 00:38:07.165
I need it now 'cause I actually need it. And they're like, oh,

543
00:38:07.165 --> 00:38:09.765
well I I we can't do that. I'm like, dang,

544
00:38:09.845 --> 00:38:11.725
I shouldn't have take taken advantage of it.

545
00:38:12.425 --> 00:38:13.685
So I think it's more of like a,

546
00:38:13.685 --> 00:38:18.325
like a negative sometimes or like a hindrance in school

547
00:38:18.435 --> 00:38:22.445
when like you're trying to write a paper and it maybe is taking you extra,

548
00:38:22.445 --> 00:38:27.405
like longer than like someone else in the class or when you're

549
00:38:27.405 --> 00:38:30.525
reading something and it's taking you longer than someone else in a positive

550
00:38:30.545 --> 00:38:31.378
way.

551
00:38:33.395 --> 00:38:37.245
Like if I say a word wrong or if I use a word

552
00:38:37.915 --> 00:38:42.805
incorrectly or I absolutely got a word wrong and it

553
00:38:42.825 --> 00:38:44.445
wasn't because of my dyslexia,

554
00:38:44.685 --> 00:38:47.485
I guess I could blame it on my dyslexia and get away with it.

555
00:38:48.525 --> 00:38:50.365
I think that's a positive. And then

556
00:38:52.645 --> 00:38:57.405
I guess like I can get extra time on exams and stuff

557
00:38:57.405 --> 00:38:59.845
because of it, which is a little bit of a a plus.

558
00:39:00.085 --> 00:39:04.805
I don't ever really think about it as much unless it's like something

559
00:39:05.245 --> 00:39:06.725
negative that it's like brought out.

560
00:39:07.065 --> 00:39:10.005
So I never usually think of it as like a positive thing,

561
00:39:10.185 --> 00:39:13.245
but I don't think of it as like a negative thing necessarily.

562
00:39:13.525 --> 00:39:16.285
I just think of it as something else

563
00:39:18.075 --> 00:39:22.845
like that. Like I have to just like work through, not necessarily negative,

564
00:39:23.325 --> 00:39:24.325
Consider dyslexia

565
00:39:27.185 --> 00:39:31.605
an asset because it helps me like really think outside the box.

566
00:39:32.555 --> 00:39:35.805
Like I'll find really creative ways to like memorize information.

567
00:39:36.145 --> 00:39:39.845
And then dyslexia is definitely a hindrance. Um,

568
00:39:42.145 --> 00:39:45.325
in terms of like if I read something like I'm not gonna remember it,

569
00:39:45.985 --> 00:39:50.765
but if like I can read it out loud or like have like the technology read it to

570
00:39:50.765 --> 00:39:55.325
me, then I'm able to like understand it and like process it with dyslexia,

571
00:39:55.325 --> 00:39:59.645
there's some words that are like, like a hard vocabulary word,

572
00:40:00.545 --> 00:40:01.375
um,

573
00:40:01.375 --> 00:40:05.485
where I can like define it into like a whole bunch of like smaller words that

574
00:40:05.485 --> 00:40:09.405
are like a lot easier for me to like process. So that's what I do,

575
00:40:09.405 --> 00:40:12.805
like when I read like textbooks and then I could just easily like remember it

576
00:40:12.805 --> 00:40:13.638
and read over it,

577
00:40:14.075 --> 00:40:18.365
like without having to like get stuck at that hard word and be like,

578
00:40:18.365 --> 00:40:19.325
what does this mean again,

579
00:40:19.805 --> 00:40:24.125
I feel like you can always find the positive, which is nice.

580
00:40:24.835 --> 00:40:26.205
Like with dyslexia,

581
00:40:27.125 --> 00:40:31.045
I found positives in that I'm not like everyone,

582
00:40:31.625 --> 00:40:35.365
my brain works way differently than the person sitting next to me.

583
00:40:35.945 --> 00:40:40.645
So I have that opportunity to bring in my

584
00:40:41.355 --> 00:40:42.188
like,

585
00:40:42.465 --> 00:40:47.365
unique point of view where somebody who doesn't have dyslexia has their point of

586
00:40:47.365 --> 00:40:52.165
view and it's completely always gonna be different. So, I don't know,

587
00:40:52.235 --> 00:40:56.565
it's hard to explain how it's a positive other than the fact that

588
00:40:57.315 --> 00:40:58.885
your point of view is different.

589
00:40:59.185 --> 00:41:04.165
The struggles that you've been through are different than anyone and it

590
00:41:04.165 --> 00:41:08.405
just helps you out a lot in the real world. I feel like it'd also be a hindrance

591
00:41:09.915 --> 00:41:13.765
when you are sitting in class taking notes. Like,

592
00:41:14.075 --> 00:41:18.965
when I'm taking notes in class, I feel like with having my dyslexia,

593
00:41:18.965 --> 00:41:19.805
I feel like I'm so slow.

594
00:41:20.235 --> 00:41:25.125
Like I feel like I'm not gonna be able to get notes down and then I have to

595
00:41:25.125 --> 00:41:26.725
figure out ways to get around that.

596
00:41:27.355 --> 00:41:32.005
Like sometimes there's words that come up or people's names that come up that I

597
00:41:32.005 --> 00:41:34.325
can't say and I just don't know how to say.

598
00:41:34.345 --> 00:41:38.365
And then somebody will look at me like I'm crazy when I try to pronounce it.

599
00:41:38.625 --> 00:41:40.765
And that's when I feel like it's a hindrance.

600
00:41:40.765 --> 00:41:45.005
But most of the time since I've been taught how to deal with it and I have

601
00:41:45.005 --> 00:41:47.085
tools, most of the time it's positive.

602
00:41:47.225 --> 00:41:50.965
So it really is nice to have that like teaching.

603
00:41:51.165 --> 00:41:56.045
I feel like the ways I've applied my dyslexia in a positive way

604
00:41:56.265 --> 00:42:00.125
to the real world per se, is in my work.

605
00:42:00.635 --> 00:42:01.605
Like when I'm working,

606
00:42:02.685 --> 00:42:07.165
I am able to use the skills of how I accommodate things in

607
00:42:07.585 --> 00:42:11.885
my just personal life with my dyslexia to

608
00:42:12.075 --> 00:42:16.885
accommodate for a process and work that we can make it faster or we can make it

609
00:42:16.885 --> 00:42:17.718
more precise.

610
00:42:17.765 --> 00:42:21.605
I just feel like applying dyslexia to the real world has a lot of benefit.

611
00:42:22.505 --> 00:42:26.725
And some people may not even realize that dyslexia,

612
00:42:28.235 --> 00:42:30.605
like isn't just reading backwards,

613
00:42:30.955 --> 00:42:35.765
it's also being able to have a whole different way of thinking around

614
00:42:35.765 --> 00:42:40.365
certain problems so you can really apply it to this real world problems,

615
00:42:40.645 --> 00:42:44.925
business problems, almost every problem you have. So it's a really good tool

616
00:43:22.815 --> 00:43:27.075
For me and for in my life, um,

617
00:43:30.345 --> 00:43:33.075
whether it be as

618
00:43:35.035 --> 00:43:39.635
a woman or a spouse or in multiple

619
00:43:40.175 --> 00:43:42.475
um, situations, I have felt,

620
00:43:43.075 --> 00:43:47.635
I have been felt to be made small. And

621
00:43:49.315 --> 00:43:53.875
dyslexia is another way to,

622
00:43:54.895 --> 00:43:59.435
um, for society to look,

623
00:44:00.255 --> 00:44:03.875
um, down upon or,

624
00:44:04.095 --> 00:44:09.075
or make someone feel like, um, they are not enough.

625
00:44:09.655 --> 00:44:11.635
And so, um,

626
00:44:13.935 --> 00:44:17.235
in this phase of my life, I,

627
00:44:17.595 --> 00:44:22.115
I refuse to acquiesce to the,

628
00:44:23.055 --> 00:44:27.715
um, thoughts and beliefs of others because

629
00:44:28.305 --> 00:44:32.165
they are so small minded that

630
00:44:33.835 --> 00:44:38.685
they don't want to accept anything except their known experience.

631
00:44:39.785 --> 00:44:44.565
And we don't have to have the same life

632
00:44:44.895 --> 00:44:48.805
experience for you to understand and

633
00:44:50.995 --> 00:44:54.805
that others deserve respect, um,

634
00:44:55.625 --> 00:44:58.205
and space to share their experience.

635
00:44:59.205 --> 00:45:03.845
I think yours is very beautiful. Your, your statement is, uh,

636
00:45:04.065 --> 00:45:04.585
of,

637
00:45:04.585 --> 00:45:09.485
of disability and reclamation and independence and

638
00:45:10.065 --> 00:45:14.325
um, it also has solidarity in it. Um, yeah,

639
00:45:14.565 --> 00:45:19.045
I I think it's very beautiful and it's very uplifting and I was just thinking

640
00:45:19.105 --> 00:45:23.605
how much I would love to share this with more people because it,

641
00:45:24.145 --> 00:45:26.845
it hit me in a way that, um,

642
00:45:29.115 --> 00:45:33.965
made me proud of I think the accomplishments

643
00:45:33.965 --> 00:45:38.605
I've done. Um, and also like to,

644
00:45:39.545 --> 00:45:43.325
to be a part of a community of people and um,

645
00:45:44.585 --> 00:45:49.325
and how and how far that community has has gotten to this point,

646
00:45:49.905 --> 00:45:54.405
um, in claiming its, uh, I get

647
00:45:56.025 --> 00:45:59.285
Its rights, the community's rights, um,

648
00:46:00.065 --> 00:46:04.485
and also not only the rights of the community,

649
00:46:05.065 --> 00:46:10.045
but also the, the solidarity of the community.

650
00:46:10.105 --> 00:46:13.645
And I think that statements like that go,

651
00:46:13.825 --> 00:46:18.805
can go hand in hand in the classroom. Especially like,

652
00:46:19.135 --> 00:46:23.045
right, right now there's this big movement that we see with, um,

653
00:46:23.045 --> 00:46:25.165
statements around, um,

654
00:46:25.715 --> 00:46:28.165
like tribal land and uh,

655
00:46:28.515 --> 00:46:33.485
also identifying individuals who, uh, people of color, um,

656
00:46:33.505 --> 00:46:37.045
and the labors that they gave to our countries. Um,

657
00:46:37.145 --> 00:46:41.885
and I think that there should be solidarity statements with, um,

658
00:46:41.885 --> 00:46:45.125
people living with disabilities. When I think about your statement,

659
00:46:45.885 --> 00:46:47.485
I think all,

660
00:46:47.825 --> 00:46:51.965
all of all of my life kind of wraps up into that statement.

661
00:46:52.665 --> 00:46:57.485
Um, and I feel like there's so many more people that just need to hear that,

662
00:46:58.905 --> 00:47:00.245
um, be,

663
00:47:00.425 --> 00:47:04.645
and if we could put that in like in a,

664
00:47:04.665 --> 00:47:08.445
in a way into the syllabi, if we were to, if we were to change,

665
00:47:08.515 --> 00:47:12.285
like these are the things that you could possibly get to, um,

666
00:47:12.525 --> 00:47:17.165
a language that is inclusive in that,

667
00:47:17.225 --> 00:47:20.685
in those, in those like brief little paragraphs. Change it a little bit.

668
00:47:21.205 --> 00:47:25.485
I think that more people would be open and willing to seek out those services

669
00:47:25.705 --> 00:47:28.925
for themselves. 'cause so many people struggle just because they want

670
00:47:29.070 --> 00:47:29.675
To be

671
00:47:29.675 --> 00:47:34.365
Normative. I'm not a person who will look intelligent.

672
00:47:34.705 --> 00:47:35.605
I'm could be naive,

673
00:47:36.405 --> 00:47:41.165
I could be a type of person who's not the greatest smartest at some

674
00:47:41.165 --> 00:47:41.998
areas,

675
00:47:42.025 --> 00:47:47.005
but you're not stupid for being how dyslexia or being where

676
00:47:47.005 --> 00:47:49.845
you're at. You're not stupid. You just need time to work it out.

677
00:47:50.145 --> 00:47:53.325
And that's what I needed. And if you just give yourself time,

678
00:47:53.435 --> 00:47:57.965
give yourself the energy, give yourself the ability to do it and succeed,

679
00:47:57.965 --> 00:48:00.285
give yourself the environment you will succeed.

680
00:48:00.285 --> 00:48:03.165
You will do better than most average people. You just gotta

681
00:48:05.505 --> 00:48:09.045
be okay with yourself, if that makes sense. Like you gotta inspire others,

682
00:48:09.115 --> 00:48:13.125
lift up the people up and just be okay and have faith that you'll be fine.

683
00:48:13.555 --> 00:48:16.925
Like the only reason why I'm actually here is 'cause God I have really big

684
00:48:17.125 --> 00:48:18.965
religion and um, I'm a Christian.

685
00:48:19.025 --> 00:48:22.245
So God has really helped me through that and changed that perspective on that.

686
00:48:22.245 --> 00:48:24.525
Without him, I don't think I would be here.

687
00:48:25.005 --> 00:48:29.925
I think it's definitely like more of an asset and I'm able to think

688
00:48:29.925 --> 00:48:34.365
about, I feel like I think about things differently and I view the world or like

689
00:48:34.365 --> 00:48:36.165
situations maybe a little bit differently,

690
00:48:36.295 --> 00:48:39.485
which I think is more positive than negative.

691
00:48:39.785 --> 00:48:44.685
And since I have had to overcome something not, or like not overcome,

692
00:48:44.685 --> 00:48:46.365
but like work through something like this,

693
00:48:47.485 --> 00:48:51.725
I can be more patient with other people and they maybe don't understand

694
00:48:51.725 --> 00:48:55.285
something and more not like condescending to somebody.

695
00:48:55.725 --> 00:48:58.885
I think it's helps me think out of the box and view the world differently

696
00:49:00.035 --> 00:49:04.245
because um, I have to go through this.

697
00:49:04.705 --> 00:49:09.365
And it also makes me more resilient later on when facing other challenges.

698
00:49:09.755 --> 00:49:12.245
There's multiple other things that I've had to overcome.

699
00:49:13.025 --> 00:49:15.245
And I think personally for me,

700
00:49:15.755 --> 00:49:20.365
this happening at like a younger age and being put into something that's

701
00:49:20.445 --> 00:49:24.445
different than everybody else and like starting to have to like,

702
00:49:24.505 --> 00:49:26.765
use different techniques to learn and read,

703
00:49:27.725 --> 00:49:30.805
I think has made other problems in my life.

704
00:49:31.155 --> 00:49:36.125
Like not unbearable as in like I can find a solution and

705
00:49:36.125 --> 00:49:40.645
I can work out different ways to get through something other than just being

706
00:49:40.645 --> 00:49:41.845
like frustrated.

707
00:49:42.525 --> 00:49:43.565
I guess that like,

708
00:49:43.945 --> 00:49:48.725
having like dyslexia isn't like the bad thing that everyone thinks it is

709
00:49:49.545 --> 00:49:52.045
having like a disability.

710
00:49:52.155 --> 00:49:55.165
Like you can find ways to like work around that.

711
00:49:55.165 --> 00:50:00.045
Like a normal like person without disabilities like would never even think of.

712
00:50:00.185 --> 00:50:02.805
If I were to make my own statement like that, it would really be,

713
00:50:03.185 --> 00:50:07.165
I'm not a waste of time. I'm not the extra time needed.

714
00:50:08.005 --> 00:50:09.645
I feel like I am

715
00:50:11.355 --> 00:50:14.445
another point of view and that

716
00:50:16.245 --> 00:50:19.805
I can bring more to the table than one may think.

717
00:50:21.005 --> 00:50:25.525
I feel like I have to say I feel like I am

718
00:50:26.825 --> 00:50:31.685
an asset to the world. I feel like I am not a waste of space.

719
00:50:32.225 --> 00:50:36.245
I'm not just the one who takes longer to do things.

720
00:50:36.825 --> 00:50:40.205
I'm not just the one who spells things wrong all the time.

721
00:50:40.905 --> 00:50:42.445
I'm just,

722
00:50:42.925 --> 00:50:47.005
I feel like I can use it in a confident way that I'll be able to

723
00:50:49.825 --> 00:50:50.725
add to society,

724
00:50:50.965 --> 00:50:55.965
I guess and make change and I want to make change and

725
00:50:55.965 --> 00:50:59.885
I feel like I shouldn't be counted out just because I may take extra time and I

726
00:50:59.885 --> 00:51:02.285
may not be able to say something correctly.

727
00:51:03.105 --> 00:51:05.285
So I feel like that would be my statement.

728
00:51:16.555 --> 00:51:20.725
Yeah, I think seeking assistance because of my disability,

729
00:51:21.385 --> 00:51:24.205
um, has led me to understand, um,

730
00:51:25.865 --> 00:51:28.005
interdependency a little bit better.

731
00:51:29.005 --> 00:51:32.205
I don't think that we can all, um,

732
00:51:33.355 --> 00:51:38.125
come to or should we all come to the same answers or need to

733
00:51:39.625 --> 00:51:43.925
in life. And I think that by working together and cooperatively,

734
00:51:44.505 --> 00:51:48.525
um, we have that interdependency and we can, um,

735
00:51:49.525 --> 00:51:52.965
function much better in the world because we're gonna see each other as as human

736
00:51:53.065 --> 00:51:57.645
beings. And so instead of looking at my disability as a a deficit,

737
00:51:58.545 --> 00:51:59.005
um,

738
00:51:59.005 --> 00:52:03.645
I can look at all of the skill sets and the things that I can give in

739
00:52:03.645 --> 00:52:08.445
return. And so I think being somebody that wants to um,

740
00:52:09.275 --> 00:52:12.765
give, give back and also help, um,

741
00:52:13.645 --> 00:52:15.805
I can do that in different ways. Um,

742
00:52:16.065 --> 00:52:20.725
and by seeking help I am not any less of a person

743
00:52:22.155 --> 00:52:24.685
just, um, from asking for that help.

744
00:52:26.085 --> 00:52:29.845
I think I get really frustrated technology. So sometimes it could work.

745
00:52:29.875 --> 00:52:31.405
Like I use Siri,

746
00:52:31.885 --> 00:52:34.485
I would like copy and paste like a text in the notes and like use Siri to read

747
00:52:34.485 --> 00:52:35.225
it to me.

748
00:52:35.225 --> 00:52:40.165
But I just don't think robotic sounds help me.

749
00:52:40.565 --> 00:52:43.405
I think I need more of like a person actually read to make it like a robotic.

750
00:52:43.545 --> 00:52:45.605
I'm just gonna focus on every single thing they're saying,

751
00:52:45.995 --> 00:52:48.685
like how they're saying it, not exactly what they're saying.

752
00:52:49.205 --> 00:52:53.405
I get so lost at it where the point where it's like, oh no, I'm lost.

753
00:52:54.605 --> 00:52:58.925
I guess like using like the assistive technology to like read textbooks.

754
00:52:59.795 --> 00:53:04.405
Like it helps me to like be like more engaged in class and like be able to

755
00:53:04.405 --> 00:53:06.245
answer like the teacher's questions.

756
00:53:07.285 --> 00:53:11.325
'cause I actually like know and like remember like what we're going over,

757
00:53:11.575 --> 00:53:14.765
which is really nice. And I don't feel like

758
00:53:16.385 --> 00:53:18.645
at that time in class like I'm anything like,

759
00:53:20.275 --> 00:53:24.005
like I learn different or like do anything different than like any of my

760
00:53:24.005 --> 00:53:24.838
classmates.

761
00:53:26.405 --> 00:53:28.045
'cause I understood like all the information.

762
00:53:29.965 --> 00:53:34.725
I would say the way I view the world through using assistive technology now

763
00:53:35.065 --> 00:53:35.898
is,

764
00:53:36.915 --> 00:53:41.445
it's interesting 'cause I don't use that many things that are assistive other

765
00:53:41.445 --> 00:53:43.765
than in my academics.

766
00:53:44.045 --> 00:53:47.445
'cause most of the time in the workplace they don't really have things like

767
00:53:47.445 --> 00:53:49.685
that. It would be nice if they did,

768
00:53:50.305 --> 00:53:54.485
but obviously autocorrect is a lifesaver

769
00:53:55.305 --> 00:53:58.045
and um, that,

770
00:53:58.755 --> 00:54:03.165
that certain type of technology that actually makes me feel like I won't fall

771
00:54:03.165 --> 00:54:05.685
behind in certain things. Like if I'm in a workplace.

772
00:54:06.505 --> 00:54:08.765
So like that's one.

773
00:54:08.785 --> 00:54:12.965
But also the technology that I've used so far, like,

774
00:54:13.865 --> 00:54:14.698
um,

775
00:54:15.715 --> 00:54:20.605
reading Ally was one of them when I was young and it would highlight

776
00:54:20.725 --> 00:54:22.725
all the words as it reads to you.

777
00:54:23.265 --> 00:54:26.885
So you felt like you could keep up with everything and you could always change

778
00:54:26.905 --> 00:54:28.605
the pace and you always felt like,

779
00:54:28.985 --> 00:54:32.045
oh I can practice this to get faster.

780
00:54:32.045 --> 00:54:35.205
Because as you kept going you realize you're getting better and better at

781
00:54:35.205 --> 00:54:39.045
reading and um, you just keep going.

782
00:54:39.585 --> 00:54:44.125
And I feel like it makes you feel what makes me feel like I can

783
00:54:44.675 --> 00:54:49.125
just use all these things to continue on and get better.

784
00:54:49.745 --> 00:54:51.845
And that's, that's really empowering actually.

785
00:54:51.995 --> 00:54:55.805
Like having that feeling of I miss something,

786
00:54:55.945 --> 00:55:00.685
but I have these tools that makes it so I really didn't miss something so I can

787
00:55:00.685 --> 00:55:05.125
just keep going and be successful and I really want to be successful.

788
00:55:05.365 --> 00:55:06.845
'cause to me,

789
00:55:07.465 --> 00:55:12.285
my parents have put so much into me and my dyslexia and helping me to

790
00:55:12.775 --> 00:55:15.605
bring me to this just where I am,

791
00:55:16.025 --> 00:55:20.125
to where I can successfully do things and be a part of

792
00:55:20.715 --> 00:55:23.085
something bigger than just oh,

793
00:55:23.085 --> 00:55:26.925
high school and I just wanna make them proud.

794
00:55:27.065 --> 00:55:28.325
And I feel like that's a,

795
00:55:29.065 --> 00:55:33.285
that's a big driver of why I still use all of these things that they come out

796
00:55:33.285 --> 00:55:35.765
with. And it just helps so much

797
00:55:44.465 --> 00:55:48.725
In life. I have utilized, um,

798
00:55:49.315 --> 00:55:53.125
assistive technology in the way of audio books,

799
00:55:53.635 --> 00:55:58.565
whether it's textbooks or personal reading.

800
00:55:59.665 --> 00:56:03.605
And using that technology has allowed me to,

801
00:56:04.105 --> 00:56:08.165
to really consume the information that I am interested in

802
00:56:09.515 --> 00:56:14.365
with without feeling overwhelmed with the

803
00:56:14.365 --> 00:56:18.765
size of the book, counting pages, the, you know, the chapters, the thickness.

804
00:56:19.605 --> 00:56:23.605
I feel better about myself from what I've learned

805
00:56:25.145 --> 00:56:29.245
by using the technology because that's information I would've not have

806
00:56:29.965 --> 00:56:34.845
received if I were only able to access the

807
00:56:34.845 --> 00:56:39.765
books in physical, uh, paper format. So

808
00:56:41.525 --> 00:56:44.805
I feel that that is, um,

809
00:56:45.505 --> 00:56:49.645
allows me to, to be more independent in what I'm,

810
00:56:50.625 --> 00:56:54.965
I'm learning and the information that that I

811
00:56:55.635 --> 00:56:56.468
consume.

812
00:56:58.185 --> 00:56:59.085
Yes and no.

813
00:56:59.445 --> 00:57:02.885
I think I was always independent 'cause I didn't really want to be dependent.

814
00:57:02.925 --> 00:57:05.005
I didn't really want to people to know I had dyslexia.

815
00:57:05.045 --> 00:57:08.405
I kept it hidden all the time. So I don't think so. No,

816
00:57:10.045 --> 00:57:12.645
I think it has definitely affected my independence.

817
00:57:12.965 --> 00:57:14.805
'cause when I didn't wanna use it,

818
00:57:16.115 --> 00:57:19.725
this is definitely only like situational but like, or personal.

819
00:57:19.985 --> 00:57:22.085
But when I didn't wanna use it,

820
00:57:22.485 --> 00:57:27.165
I would say my mom was definitely more on me and more looking at what I was

821
00:57:27.165 --> 00:57:30.205
doing, how I was doing in school and everything. 'cause it was like,

822
00:57:30.385 --> 00:57:33.725
you need to be using it. Like why are you using it? But

823
00:57:35.395 --> 00:57:40.125
through that I've learned to be more independent in

824
00:57:41.085 --> 00:57:44.965
multiple ways and like, especially in school where it's like I need,

825
00:57:45.145 --> 00:57:46.725
I'm gonna ask questions more.

826
00:57:46.865 --> 00:57:51.005
I'm going to like email people when I need to like ahead of time for like extra

827
00:57:51.005 --> 00:57:52.645
time or like accommodations or,

828
00:57:52.925 --> 00:57:54.605
I think it's made me more independent in that way,

829
00:57:54.605 --> 00:57:59.605
especially in school by knowing that the accommodations are

830
00:57:59.615 --> 00:58:02.405
there and like being able to use them.

831
00:58:03.145 --> 00:58:05.365
So sometimes when I'm in like public places,

832
00:58:06.245 --> 00:58:10.245
I won't use like the assistive technology on like my textbooks or

833
00:58:11.075 --> 00:58:13.405
even like reading articles on like my phone.

834
00:58:14.555 --> 00:58:16.325
Like if I don't have my AirPods with me,

835
00:58:16.565 --> 00:58:21.005
I won't use it because I'm like embarrassed because you can like hear like

836
00:58:21.625 --> 00:58:24.805
the computer like talking and then like people will look at me,

837
00:58:25.015 --> 00:58:27.405
which I don't really like, it's kind of embarrassing.

838
00:58:28.185 --> 00:58:30.125
But as long as I have like an AirPod in,

839
00:58:30.125 --> 00:58:34.765
then I'm usually fine for like listening to like whatever article I'm reading.

840
00:58:35.835 --> 00:58:38.885
Yeah, I guess 'cause like people don't really know what it is.

841
00:58:39.635 --> 00:58:44.565
Like they think it's like someone's like music on or like some podcast

842
00:58:44.795 --> 00:58:49.045
like people can hear and I don't really wanna like sit there and like explain

843
00:58:49.155 --> 00:58:53.285
like, oh yeah, like this is like how I read. 'cause they would be like, oh,

844
00:58:53.345 --> 00:58:56.845
why you have to read like that? I'd have to explain. I have like dyslexia.

845
00:58:57.555 --> 00:59:01.325
This is how it like, helps me process information. I'm like,

846
00:59:01.325 --> 00:59:03.725
it's not any of their business to know that. So

847
00:59:05.045 --> 00:59:05.625
Absolutely.

848
00:59:05.625 --> 00:59:10.525
So sometimes I'll be writing a letter per se

849
00:59:10.525 --> 00:59:13.565
or I'll be writing notes down and I won't know how to spell a word.

850
00:59:13.985 --> 00:59:17.525
And instead of, um, having to oh,

851
00:59:17.625 --> 00:59:19.045
ask somebody how do you spell this?

852
00:59:19.485 --> 00:59:24.285
I can just type in part of the word onto my computer. 'cause I have a,

853
00:59:24.345 --> 00:59:28.165
um, what's it called? Almost like a dictionary thing.

854
00:59:28.585 --> 00:59:32.285
And you just type in like parts of words and it comes up with suggestions and it

855
00:59:32.285 --> 00:59:33.118
spells it right.

856
00:59:33.345 --> 00:59:36.165
And then you can just look and write it down and it's spelled correctly.

857
00:59:36.665 --> 00:59:39.485
So I don't have to ask somebody.

858
00:59:39.525 --> 00:59:44.485
I don't feel like I have to use a crutch to get to a certain spot.

859
00:59:44.545 --> 00:59:48.725
So I do feel like I can be independent on my own with the,

860
00:59:48.915 --> 00:59:51.725
with all the tools that I use for dyslexia.

861
01:00:03.305 --> 01:00:06.605
My individual identity, um,

862
01:00:09.085 --> 01:00:12.925
I feel is so much more than just my diagnosis.

863
01:00:15.945 --> 01:00:20.885
And while dyslexia is a part of me,

864
01:00:21.395 --> 01:00:24.765
it's just, it's something that I've always

865
01:00:28.075 --> 01:00:32.005
experienced. However, it's just a part of me, like my height,

866
01:00:32.835 --> 01:00:37.805
like my hair color. I,

867
01:00:38.205 --> 01:00:41.685
I, I don't exactly

868
01:00:43.525 --> 01:00:47.805
identify with it as, as who I am.

869
01:00:48.745 --> 01:00:50.075
However it does,

870
01:00:50.745 --> 01:00:55.555
knowing that part of me allows

871
01:00:55.555 --> 01:00:57.675
me to show myself, uh,

872
01:00:57.725 --> 01:01:02.115
grace and kindness in my frustrated moments when

873
01:01:02.575 --> 01:01:06.875
I'm trying to get through information and it's just not

874
01:01:08.155 --> 01:01:13.115
sticking the way I had hoped in that moment.

875
01:01:14.495 --> 01:01:16.515
So, um,

876
01:01:17.615 --> 01:01:22.155
it allows me to remind myself that it's okay if I need to reread it

877
01:01:22.225 --> 01:01:26.955
because I know that I do better listening to it

878
01:01:26.955 --> 01:01:31.195
anyway. And I was just not using what's available.

879
01:01:32.095 --> 01:01:34.395
Uh, so

880
01:01:36.985 --> 01:01:40.275
it's not part of my identity, but it, it, it

881
01:01:42.015 --> 01:01:46.155
is a reminder at times when I need the reminder that it's okay

882
01:01:46.855 --> 01:01:50.915
in society and especially in today's

883
01:01:51.885 --> 01:01:56.875
world where so much, uh, of life is public,

884
01:01:56.875 --> 01:02:01.475
whether it's on social media or, um,

885
01:02:04.095 --> 01:02:08.635
you know, many different, uh, platforms of visibility.

886
01:02:10.815 --> 01:02:15.395
We don't see uncut life and we sometimes compare

887
01:02:16.265 --> 01:02:19.405
ourselves and our experiences to those of others.

888
01:02:20.025 --> 01:02:21.645
And we don't think about,

889
01:02:22.675 --> 01:02:26.645
they probably have challenges that they're not talking about.

890
01:02:27.395 --> 01:02:32.365
Many people aren't vulnerable with their life challenges.

891
01:02:33.505 --> 01:02:38.085
And so when we are vulnerable with

892
01:02:38.085 --> 01:02:42.365
ourselves, like I am struggling with this, um,

893
01:02:44.105 --> 01:02:48.525
we can sometimes be hard on ourselves frustrated with, um,

894
01:02:48.865 --> 01:02:49.698
our challenges.

895
01:02:49.985 --> 01:02:54.765
But having the diagnosis of dyslexia allows me to go,

896
01:02:54.835 --> 01:02:58.125
okay, this is my why. This is,

897
01:02:58.515 --> 01:03:01.805
this is the root of this challenge in this moment.

898
01:03:02.865 --> 01:03:07.485
And this is just a challenging moment because I'm not utilizing my tools,

899
01:03:08.785 --> 01:03:13.045
um, that I know that I need. Um, and it's okay to need them.

900
01:03:15.225 --> 01:03:16.058
Um,

901
01:03:16.665 --> 01:03:21.245
in academics I get double time for my testing

902
01:03:22.275 --> 01:03:26.845
because I need it. And there are times that

903
01:03:28.985 --> 01:03:32.565
for whatever reason, I sit down and,

904
01:03:33.385 --> 01:03:34.325
and tell myself,

905
01:03:34.945 --> 01:03:39.765
I'm going to start this exam and I'm gonna see if I can finish it in

906
01:03:39.765 --> 01:03:44.085
this in half the time because that's what my classmates,

907
01:03:44.105 --> 01:03:45.885
that's what my peers are doing.

908
01:03:47.465 --> 01:03:52.165
And so I start off an exam trying to hold myself to the

909
01:03:52.365 --> 01:03:56.925
standard of my classmates that do not have

910
01:03:57.725 --> 01:04:01.405
a dyslexia diagnosis. And I,

911
01:04:02.125 --> 01:04:05.525
I realize like I'm not being fair to myself.

912
01:04:05.665 --> 01:04:10.245
I'm putting myself at a disadvantage because

913
01:04:11.605 --> 01:04:15.285
I have my diagnosis for a reason. That's my why.

914
01:04:15.345 --> 01:04:19.125
That's why I get double time

915
01:04:20.825 --> 01:04:21.658
and

916
01:04:23.845 --> 01:04:28.725
I show myself that grace and I collect myself and

917
01:04:28.885 --> 01:04:31.885
I go, okay, like I can do this.

918
01:04:32.035 --> 01:04:36.885
It's okay that I take my extra time because I do

919
01:04:36.885 --> 01:04:41.685
sometimes need to read a question two or three times and even out

920
01:04:41.685 --> 01:04:45.565
loud to make sure I fully understand it before answering.

921
01:04:46.985 --> 01:04:48.405
And, um,

922
01:04:50.145 --> 01:04:53.245
I'm thankful for the accommodations to be able to do that.

923
01:04:54.565 --> 01:04:56.365
I don't think that it,

924
01:04:57.195 --> 01:05:02.085
it's harmed my individuality or individualness by seeking resources.

925
01:05:02.745 --> 01:05:03.578
Um,

926
01:05:05.105 --> 01:05:09.045
but also I don't think that I'm a person that,

927
01:05:10.105 --> 01:05:14.885
uh, really looks at individuality in that, in that same light.

928
01:05:15.305 --> 01:05:17.805
Um, I, I want to see

929
01:05:19.825 --> 01:05:22.725
us as a, as a collective. Um,

930
01:05:22.985 --> 01:05:27.405
and I think that my disabilities allow me to

931
01:05:28.635 --> 01:05:30.525
lean in to society

932
01:05:32.355 --> 01:05:36.805
more so than individuals who might not have disabilities.

933
01:05:37.345 --> 01:05:38.045
Um,

934
01:05:38.045 --> 01:05:42.925
I can relate to people through different stories and through life experiences

935
01:05:43.035 --> 01:05:46.165
that others might not be able to. Um,

936
01:05:47.265 --> 01:05:49.525
and so I see it as an asset that bring,

937
01:05:49.925 --> 01:05:52.845
I can bring people together in cooperative ways.

938
01:05:53.525 --> 01:05:57.725
I think using, not using technology has been help more helpful.

939
01:05:58.085 --> 01:05:58.795
I think it's a bigger,

940
01:05:58.795 --> 01:06:03.725
like you don't need an expensive technology to conquer dyslexia.

941
01:06:04.365 --> 01:06:05.085
I think that,

942
01:06:05.085 --> 01:06:07.685
'cause I wasn't really fortunate enough to have a ton of money with my family.

943
01:06:07.705 --> 01:06:11.005
We were on the poor end. So not being able to use technology,

944
01:06:11.435 --> 01:06:14.485
they kind of hinder something. Since I just learned how not to use it,

945
01:06:14.565 --> 01:06:18.885
I learned to or ways around it to be okay so I don't have to spend a bunch of my

946
01:06:18.885 --> 01:06:19.718
parents' money.

947
01:06:20.005 --> 01:06:23.325
I think by using the accommodations, no,

948
01:06:24.985 --> 01:06:29.525
it has made me, it's made me more independent.

949
01:06:29.905 --> 01:06:33.125
Yes. But for my individual identity,

950
01:06:35.445 --> 01:06:36.278
I think it just,

951
01:06:36.515 --> 01:06:41.205
it's made me personally more comfortable with like,

952
01:06:41.475 --> 01:06:45.765
getting accommodations. Like maybe I'm,

953
01:06:45.865 --> 01:06:48.245
I'm more willing to go out of the way and get it,

954
01:06:48.435 --> 01:06:53.245
even if it seems like a hassle because I know like

955
01:06:53.265 --> 01:06:55.845
it could be important or like beneficial

956
01:06:56.845 --> 01:07:00.445
I guess in terms of individuality, um,

957
01:07:00.635 --> 01:07:03.845
I've been able to kind of like help, like my other classmates,

958
01:07:03.955 --> 01:07:06.525
like I understand like

959
01:07:08.755 --> 01:07:11.925
what we like read in the textbooks were like,

960
01:07:11.925 --> 01:07:15.165
I wouldn't have been able to like do that before I,

961
01:07:15.165 --> 01:07:19.445
they would've been the ones like teaching me what we did in the textbook or read

962
01:07:19.445 --> 01:07:22.485
because I've kind of come to terms with like having dyslexia.

963
01:07:22.715 --> 01:07:25.605
Like now that I've found like having dyslexia,

964
01:07:25.605 --> 01:07:30.405
like I'm still capable of like getting good test scores and like understanding

965
01:07:30.505 --> 01:07:34.405
and like reading. So that's been really nice and like kind of freeing.

966
01:07:34.925 --> 01:07:38.605
I would say my individuality

967
01:07:40.535 --> 01:07:44.285
would be, gosh, that's hard for me. That's hard to like

968
01:07:46.775 --> 01:07:49.485
think about. 'cause my individuality,

969
01:07:49.585 --> 01:07:52.565
I'm a very just tech savvy person.

970
01:07:52.885 --> 01:07:57.725
I love technology and I feel like being able to use

971
01:07:58.265 --> 01:07:59.685
all the assisted technologies,

972
01:08:00.525 --> 01:08:03.485
I would myself say that just a computer,

973
01:08:03.675 --> 01:08:08.485
just word documents in certain settings is assistive

974
01:08:08.485 --> 01:08:10.725
technology because it allows me to,

975
01:08:11.035 --> 01:08:12.765
instead of having to write something on paper,

976
01:08:12.945 --> 01:08:17.245
it allows me to type it out and I'm proficient at typing and if I spell

977
01:08:17.245 --> 01:08:19.645
something wrong, it'll just correct it. And um,

978
01:08:20.765 --> 01:08:22.965
I feel like it makes it easier for me to express myself.

979
01:08:23.325 --> 01:08:25.485
I feel like that's a way that I've become,

980
01:08:25.635 --> 01:08:29.645
been able to use it individuality wise because I've been able to express myself

981
01:08:29.645 --> 01:08:33.205
better. And for my identity,

982
01:08:34.205 --> 01:08:36.365
I would say it's affected

983
01:08:38.385 --> 01:08:39.405
not very heavily.

984
01:08:40.325 --> 01:08:45.085
I just feel like for my identity I just identify myself as Trevor and that like,

985
01:08:46.315 --> 01:08:47.365
yeah, I have dyslexia,

986
01:08:47.505 --> 01:08:52.485
but I also am not drawn back by it all the time so

987
01:08:53.245 --> 01:08:54.885
I can just get through it.

988
01:09:05.565 --> 01:09:10.245
I would say there are times that I am

989
01:09:10.685 --> 01:09:13.565
frustrated that, uh,

990
01:09:14.835 --> 01:09:19.605
that I do better with having my text read to me.

991
01:09:20.565 --> 01:09:23.645
Honestly, mostly because it's an inconvenience.

992
01:09:24.205 --> 01:09:28.965
I would love to be able to just sit down, open up a,

993
01:09:29.245 --> 01:09:34.045
a book and read it quickly with the comprehension

994
01:09:34.795 --> 01:09:38.005
digital book format that's read to me.

995
01:09:38.035 --> 01:09:41.245
I've gotta open up my laptop, I have to keep it charged.

996
01:09:41.485 --> 01:09:46.445
I need headphones if I'm going to be in public, there's so many more steps.

997
01:09:47.785 --> 01:09:48.618
Uh,

998
01:09:48.925 --> 01:09:53.445
I would much prefer to be able to toss a textbook in my bag

999
01:09:54.785 --> 01:09:59.325
and, and pick it up and read it in short portions,

1000
01:10:01.065 --> 01:10:05.445
but I'm not able to do that and retain the information

1001
01:10:05.915 --> 01:10:08.805
because I need to sit down in a more

1002
01:10:10.835 --> 01:10:13.405
intentional manner to read

1003
01:10:14.355 --> 01:10:18.485
When looking for assistance. Because of my, my disability,

1004
01:10:19.545 --> 01:10:22.405
it was hard at first to ask. Um,

1005
01:10:22.705 --> 01:10:26.045
and I was really nervous about, um,

1006
01:10:26.045 --> 01:10:28.525
first going to SAILS and uh,

1007
01:10:29.715 --> 01:10:34.685
when I first started taking classes and my professors getting that email

1008
01:10:34.835 --> 01:10:38.925
from sales department saying that this person has a disability and these are the

1009
01:10:38.925 --> 01:10:43.605
things that they're asking for, um, and com in, in accommodations. Um,

1010
01:10:44.585 --> 01:10:49.365
and I was really nervous about being kind of called out for

1011
01:10:49.395 --> 01:10:50.685
that. Um,

1012
01:10:52.365 --> 01:10:56.565
I found that by talking to my professors,

1013
01:10:57.265 --> 01:10:59.565
um, and having that conversation really early,

1014
01:11:00.065 --> 01:11:04.645
it was a lot easier to accept the help that I needed.

1015
01:11:04.915 --> 01:11:05.205
Yeah,

1016
01:11:05.205 --> 01:11:09.045
at first it was really nerve wracking to think that the professors are gonna

1017
01:11:09.045 --> 01:11:13.405
think that I'm gonna be asking every five minutes for an accommodation or,

1018
01:11:13.585 --> 01:11:16.245
you know, what they were going to think about me. Um,

1019
01:11:16.425 --> 01:11:19.245
but ultimately I haven't had a,

1020
01:11:19.485 --> 01:11:22.845
a bad experience by being open and honest about it.

1021
01:11:23.605 --> 01:11:26.925
I never had a will to a will to read. I hated reading.

1022
01:11:27.465 --> 01:11:31.125
So I think having some, uh, someone read to me for like,

1023
01:11:31.185 --> 01:11:34.685
if I was in class and like they had said, oh, read this book for a book report.

1024
01:11:35.285 --> 01:11:39.605
I just went to Google typed in a thing and have it read to me on like a YouTube

1025
01:11:39.605 --> 01:11:42.805
video or like, if it wasn't read through a YouTube video, I would get like this,

1026
01:11:42.805 --> 01:11:44.525
like a special like audio book.

1027
01:11:44.745 --> 01:11:47.965
And having someone read it to me that way was so much better than me having to

1028
01:11:47.965 --> 01:11:51.325
sit there for hours reading one page and the second page and third page.

1029
01:11:51.635 --> 01:11:53.965
It's just really hard for me to sit down and actually focus on a ton of words.

1030
01:11:54.125 --> 01:11:56.485
'cause all I see is a ton, a ton of words. I don't really see a story.

1031
01:11:57.405 --> 01:12:01.125
I think sometimes. Yes, when like it's always,

1032
01:12:01.285 --> 01:12:04.365
I feel like whenever school gets a lot,

1033
01:12:05.305 --> 01:12:09.645
that's when I start to get kind of really frustrated because like

1034
01:12:09.875 --> 01:12:13.485
sometimes I'll be doing something. It's not necessarily hard,

1035
01:12:14.065 --> 01:12:18.445
but it just takes me so long to get it done that I get really frustrated and

1036
01:12:18.455 --> 01:12:21.605
upset. Ki not like upset, but like, I'm just like,

1037
01:12:21.675 --> 01:12:26.325
this is so like annoying. That's taking me so much longer to like,

1038
01:12:26.325 --> 01:12:28.285
do this task when I know it's easy.

1039
01:12:29.325 --> 01:12:32.845
I would say it's like had an effect on like my emotions because

1040
01:12:34.145 --> 01:12:37.205
before I even like found out I had dyslexia, um,

1041
01:12:38.085 --> 01:12:42.005
I would have like a hard time like expressing like what I was like thinking and

1042
01:12:42.005 --> 01:12:45.565
like feeling, especially like in class.

1043
01:12:46.075 --> 01:12:47.845
Like I really like kept it to myself.

1044
01:12:47.955 --> 01:12:51.365
Like my parents weren't gonna find out my like friends weren't gonna find out,

1045
01:12:51.685 --> 01:12:52.765
teachers weren't gonna find out.

1046
01:12:53.725 --> 01:12:56.365
'cause I like basically thought I was like a freak 'cause I like didn't

1047
01:12:56.365 --> 01:12:58.165
understand like what we were being taught.

1048
01:12:58.725 --> 01:13:01.125
I would say it's made me like a lot stronger and like,

1049
01:13:02.075 --> 01:13:06.325
it's just been like easier to like trust myself and not having to like second

1050
01:13:06.325 --> 01:13:07.525
guess like what I'm reading

1051
01:13:08.995 --> 01:13:09.828
Emotionally.

1052
01:13:10.545 --> 01:13:15.005
It makes you feel like you can get things done using this assistive technology.

1053
01:13:15.155 --> 01:13:16.445
Like you don't feel hindered,

1054
01:13:17.015 --> 01:13:21.645
which is really nice because then you can feel like, oh,

1055
01:13:23.225 --> 01:13:25.365
I'm like everyone else now. So,

1056
01:13:27.225 --> 01:13:30.525
but on my psyche I wouldn't see,

1057
01:13:30.575 --> 01:13:34.645
think there's anything that it's done. It may have,

1058
01:13:35.105 --> 01:13:37.365
it may make me feel a little more confident. I would say.

1059
01:13:37.475 --> 01:13:40.925
Like I do feel confident being able to use the tools that I have,

1060
01:13:41.025 --> 01:13:44.005
so it makes me feel much more confident that I can get things done.

1061
01:13:44.185 --> 01:13:46.325
It makes me wanna learn more actually.

1062
01:13:46.805 --> 01:13:51.765
I feel like using certain technologies and being

1063
01:13:51.765 --> 01:13:55.005
able to get through like problems I have,

1064
01:13:55.915 --> 01:13:58.685
like that doesn't take too much time to get through.

1065
01:13:59.765 --> 01:14:03.045
I feel like it makes me want to invent things.

1066
01:14:03.065 --> 01:14:04.805
It makes me want to like

1067
01:14:06.315 --> 01:14:11.045
just continue on with the things that I'm learning and use them in ways that

1068
01:14:11.345 --> 01:14:15.965
can help not only me, but other people and just be able to be creative

1069
01:14:26.515 --> 01:14:27.045
When I,

1070
01:14:27.045 --> 01:14:31.805
when I think of a Venn diagram of myself and the intersections that have created

1071
01:14:32.025 --> 01:14:36.645
me as a human being, um, just my disability is,

1072
01:14:37.025 --> 01:14:41.405
is definitely front and center when I talk about myself,

1073
01:14:41.985 --> 01:14:44.485
um, because it ha it, i,

1074
01:14:44.845 --> 01:14:49.445
I have to adapt to how I see the world through those lenses. Um,

1075
01:14:50.825 --> 01:14:52.805
and so it's very important to me.

1076
01:14:53.445 --> 01:14:55.845
I think as I mentioned before,

1077
01:14:56.485 --> 01:14:58.645
I think growing up in a,

1078
01:14:59.705 --> 01:15:03.805
in a religious cult and the ways that my parents had raised me, um,

1079
01:15:04.185 --> 01:15:08.045
and how they seen gender, um,

1080
01:15:08.225 --> 01:15:11.765
and identified with that and how they assumed that

1081
01:15:13.065 --> 01:15:17.885
how gender works and how females quote unquote

1082
01:15:18.425 --> 01:15:21.845
should interact in the world. And then my disability,

1083
01:15:22.325 --> 01:15:26.845
I think that it, um, it played into my psyche.

1084
01:15:27.025 --> 01:15:31.525
It played into who I was. It made me feel like I,

1085
01:15:31.845 --> 01:15:35.965
I was less of a person until one day. Um,

1086
01:15:36.485 --> 01:15:41.165
I just decided, you know, like, f**k you, I'm gonna do it anyways. Um,

1087
01:15:41.985 --> 01:15:43.885
so when,

1088
01:15:44.315 --> 01:15:49.205
when I left the community and I disassociated myself with

1089
01:15:49.215 --> 01:15:52.565
those labels, um, uh, that,

1090
01:15:52.995 --> 01:15:57.805
that my society and my community had put on me, um, I,

1091
01:15:58.925 --> 01:16:03.925
I felt more free to like self-identify reclamation and self claiming

1092
01:16:04.265 --> 01:16:07.805
is, is a powerful like, psychological tool. Um,

1093
01:16:08.955 --> 01:16:09.885
that really helps.

1094
01:16:10.445 --> 01:16:15.125
I didn't really identify with dyslexia. I didn't want to,

1095
01:16:15.845 --> 01:16:19.165
I used every opportunity, every opportunity not to use anything. I,

1096
01:16:19.165 --> 01:16:21.445
people were like, oh, do you need help with this? Like, nope, I'm fine.

1097
01:16:21.565 --> 01:16:22.398
I got it.

1098
01:16:22.425 --> 01:16:26.885
So I would wanna relate more to like what used to like my peers and my teachers.

1099
01:16:26.965 --> 01:16:30.245
I just wanna be normal. I didn't want to have anything like this.

1100
01:16:30.745 --> 01:16:33.125
And I think me as a Christian too,

1101
01:16:33.785 --> 01:16:38.605
God really showed me a path of it's fine to ask for help.

1102
01:16:38.915 --> 01:16:42.965
It's okay. You don't have to be this strong independent woman all the time.

1103
01:16:42.985 --> 01:16:46.125
You could be dependent sometimes through with like, uh, associative technology.

1104
01:16:46.865 --> 01:16:51.205
It really helped in a way it helped me to actually use the program that are

1105
01:16:51.205 --> 01:16:54.325
given to me instead of just like not using them and wanting to cope with it

1106
01:16:54.435 --> 01:16:56.165
because I don't like asking for help.

1107
01:16:56.285 --> 01:17:00.325
I think asking for help is the stupidest thing to me. It's not, but it is to me.

1108
01:17:00.465 --> 01:17:03.765
And uh, the God really showed me it's okay to ask for help.

1109
01:17:03.765 --> 01:17:06.965
It's okay to use the technologies that are given to you in this world.

1110
01:17:06.965 --> 01:17:08.205
Like we're in 2023,

1111
01:17:08.505 --> 01:17:11.165
you're gonna gonna have technologies using to your advantage.

1112
01:17:11.705 --> 01:17:14.125
So I think that's really helped me grow as a person.

1113
01:17:14.925 --> 01:17:16.365
I would say as like an individual.

1114
01:17:17.085 --> 01:17:22.005
I mean I feel like it's mostly a part of like every different kind of

1115
01:17:22.205 --> 01:17:25.005
identity I have because it's like,

1116
01:17:26.115 --> 01:17:30.485
it's like in most things I feel like, like reading, writing, talking,

1117
01:17:31.245 --> 01:17:35.805
speaking. But so I feel like it is and everything. So

1118
01:17:35.805 --> 01:17:40.365
When I first started using, um, assistive like technology in high school,

1119
01:17:40.785 --> 01:17:43.205
at first I felt like really embarrassed about using it.

1120
01:17:43.945 --> 01:17:47.725
But as soon as I started like understanding what was on the test,

1121
01:17:48.885 --> 01:17:52.685
I didn't feel like ashamed of using it. I felt like really proud of using it.

1122
01:17:53.005 --> 01:17:57.045
I was able to test with like all the other kids in the same room,

1123
01:17:57.315 --> 01:18:01.965
like using the assisted technology on my computer and they would like let me

1124
01:18:01.965 --> 01:18:03.925
wear like earbuds to like listen to it.

1125
01:18:04.105 --> 01:18:06.685
And it was like really like nice 'cause I felt like normal,

1126
01:18:06.755 --> 01:18:09.205
like I was testing with like my friends,

1127
01:18:09.745 --> 01:18:14.645
My identity through my family would be huge because it's really changed

1128
01:18:14.645 --> 01:18:19.605
the way I think of disabilities in a whole being able to have that support

1129
01:18:19.755 --> 01:18:24.365
from my family has made it so I don't feel like,

1130
01:18:25.035 --> 01:18:29.925
like I can't do something religiously. And, um, my faith,

1131
01:18:30.885 --> 01:18:33.325
I would say that helps a lot with my, um,

1132
01:18:34.275 --> 01:18:37.325
emotional part with disabilities.

1133
01:18:37.475 --> 01:18:42.445
Like not thinking that it's always gonna bring me down

1134
01:18:42.795 --> 01:18:47.565
because through my faith I've found that you're always loved and

1135
01:18:47.665 --> 01:18:49.645
you're always accepted.

1136
01:18:49.945 --> 01:18:54.805
So I feel like my emotional state has been solidified

1137
01:18:54.905 --> 01:18:58.445
in the sense of how I perceive disabilities,

1138
01:19:08.775 --> 01:19:11.125
Power dynamics with my professors,

1139
01:19:11.155 --> 01:19:13.925
whether or not they're gonna think I'm smart enough or if I,

1140
01:19:13.945 --> 01:19:17.765
if they're gonna think that I'm gonna be asking for too many accommodations in

1141
01:19:17.765 --> 01:19:20.605
their class or whatever. Like I, you know, that's,

1142
01:19:20.605 --> 01:19:24.525
that was always a fear of the professors just looking at me differently.

1143
01:19:24.825 --> 01:19:29.205
The power dynamics within a workplace are also very difficult. Um,

1144
01:19:29.425 --> 01:19:30.258
so myself,

1145
01:19:30.525 --> 01:19:35.485
I know that I transpose numbers and words and things like this all the time.

1146
01:19:36.045 --> 01:19:38.085
I have to have special assistants. Um,

1147
01:19:38.145 --> 01:19:42.685
so I use like Grammarly and things like that to help me with my emails because

1148
01:19:43.205 --> 01:19:47.285
I am somebody that thinks really quick and I have great ideas and I have

1149
01:19:47.285 --> 01:19:51.565
creativity and I wanna put 'em into place. Um, but I,

1150
01:19:51.995 --> 01:19:55.125
when I, when I write it doesn't make any sense

1151
01:19:56.835 --> 01:20:01.485
because, because I'm thinking too quickly also along with my disability.

1152
01:20:02.185 --> 01:20:06.725
And so I need to use these assistant opportunities through my emails and you

1153
01:20:06.725 --> 01:20:10.485
know, word check and, and spell and um, take the time that I need to.

1154
01:20:10.785 --> 01:20:15.245
And sometimes, uh, when I first started, um, in my professional career,

1155
01:20:16.025 --> 01:20:19.565
um, I didn't, uh,

1156
01:20:19.715 --> 01:20:24.405
take a lot of my disability into account in my day-to-day life as a,

1157
01:20:24.405 --> 01:20:28.765
as a professional. And, um, I didn't use,

1158
01:20:29.625 --> 01:20:33.885
uh, resources that I should have. Um, such as uh, you know,

1159
01:20:33.885 --> 01:20:35.205
Grammarly and check and,

1160
01:20:35.225 --> 01:20:38.885
and these different checking things in your emails or reports and things like

1161
01:20:38.885 --> 01:20:42.245
that. Or asking somebody to proofread what I wrote these sorts of things.

1162
01:20:42.305 --> 01:20:45.205
And so I remember my, um,

1163
01:20:45.985 --> 01:20:50.845
my supervisors getting pretty upset at me because my emails look like a

1164
01:20:50.845 --> 01:20:51.925
mess. Um,

1165
01:20:52.065 --> 01:20:56.725
but I just wanted to be normal so much and I just seen people cranking out

1166
01:20:56.725 --> 01:21:01.285
emails like crazy and I just thought, oh, I'm supposed to do that too, right?

1167
01:21:01.905 --> 01:21:04.405
Um, and so like I found my,

1168
01:21:04.645 --> 01:21:09.325
I had to address that with them because they wouldn't have known that I had a

1169
01:21:09.325 --> 01:21:12.645
disability unless I talked to them too. Um,

1170
01:21:12.745 --> 01:21:17.565
and so it's just taken me more time knowing that I can

1171
01:21:17.625 --> 01:21:21.925
use these resources and I'm not cheating. That's something else that I think uh,

1172
01:21:22.665 --> 01:21:25.565
we have internalized is by using resources.

1173
01:21:26.065 --> 01:21:30.165
We we're cheating the system to get things done. Um, I don't think,

1174
01:21:30.225 --> 01:21:33.605
and that's not true, but it's something that we internalize a lot of.

1175
01:21:35.375 --> 01:21:37.245
There are some teachers in this world that

1176
01:21:39.015 --> 01:21:41.805
don't particularly believe you when you say have dyslexia,

1177
01:21:41.845 --> 01:21:46.845
I don't really believe you're like special needs.

1178
01:21:47.385 --> 01:21:50.125
Put that in parentheses. 'cause I don't really think people are special needs.

1179
01:21:50.285 --> 01:21:53.645
I think you need needs but it doesn't make you special needs like in a negative

1180
01:21:53.645 --> 01:21:57.085
way. You No, and I think some, there are some teachers who just don't get it.

1181
01:21:57.465 --> 01:22:01.525
So I think more kids with dyslexia suffer in silence than they do in

1182
01:22:02.835 --> 01:22:04.685
more setting up for yourself.

1183
01:22:05.245 --> 01:22:09.165
I think because kids like us have to stand up for themselves in order to get

1184
01:22:09.165 --> 01:22:11.645
what they need. 'cause if they don't get what they need, you're never,

1185
01:22:11.755 --> 01:22:12.725
they're never gonna be okay.

1186
01:22:12.725 --> 01:22:15.085
They're never gonna learn the way that they need to.

1187
01:22:15.085 --> 01:22:18.485
They're just gonna be more behind and more behind and fail more classes. For me,

1188
01:22:18.485 --> 01:22:20.325
most of my childhood I did suffer in silence.

1189
01:22:20.565 --> 01:22:22.165
I wouldn't tell my parents if I'm struggling.

1190
01:22:22.645 --> 01:22:24.525
I was so nervous bringing home my report card,

1191
01:22:24.525 --> 01:22:29.365
having A-D-H-D, I was so nervous I didn't want to have help. I,

1192
01:22:29.525 --> 01:22:32.885
I suffered in silence most of my childhood. I didn't speak up for myself,

1193
01:22:33.205 --> 01:22:37.205
I just let it happen. I just failed because I didn't wanna say anything.

1194
01:22:37.205 --> 01:22:39.045
I used to get in the car, I used to cry and my parents were like,

1195
01:22:39.045 --> 01:22:41.765
why are you failing your classes? You are not doing your work or not studying,

1196
01:22:41.765 --> 01:22:45.365
you're not doing this. It's like, I don't study 'cause I get bored. And I,

1197
01:22:45.365 --> 01:22:49.485
that's a really dumb phrase to use 'cause like just study you it your thing.

1198
01:22:49.825 --> 01:22:51.005
But for me, studying was really hard.

1199
01:22:51.315 --> 01:22:55.685
Some people I think can see dyslexia negatively and in that

1200
01:22:56.205 --> 01:23:01.125
situation they try to create a power difference,

1201
01:23:01.935 --> 01:23:05.805
which is really weird. I think they try to like use it as something,

1202
01:23:06.385 --> 01:23:09.325
but in actuality they're just insecure.

1203
01:23:10.585 --> 01:23:13.885
But I just think it's really interesting when that happens in like a power

1204
01:23:14.085 --> 01:23:17.285
structure and like in a power structure with like teachers and professors.

1205
01:23:17.525 --> 01:23:22.085
I think that there can be one if like professor doesn't wanna give you like an

1206
01:23:22.085 --> 01:23:26.645
accommodation, that's a pretty bad situation.

1207
01:23:27.745 --> 01:23:32.045
And but then like if they can find a reason to justify why you shouldn't be

1208
01:23:32.045 --> 01:23:33.045
given this accommodation,

1209
01:23:33.115 --> 01:23:37.045
then like it can cause turn into like a thing which is this them using their

1210
01:23:37.045 --> 01:23:41.805
power to like say no, which can be really frustrating. Yes.

1211
01:23:42.195 --> 01:23:46.045
It's like usually I don't really associate with that anymore,

1212
01:23:46.185 --> 01:23:49.965
but I know that like there are some people who like,

1213
01:23:50.025 --> 01:23:51.965
if they find out that you are dyslexic,

1214
01:23:51.965 --> 01:23:55.325
they definitely might look at you differently and to like combat that,

1215
01:23:55.445 --> 01:23:57.285
I more so will just be like, oh, I'm dyslexic.

1216
01:23:57.305 --> 01:24:01.805
And then like I maybe I'll explain it and usually

1217
01:24:02.425 --> 01:24:05.845
the person like doesn't really say anything negative again.

1218
01:24:05.845 --> 01:24:10.005
But I think that there's still is sometimes a bias, uh, behind it that like,

1219
01:24:10.005 --> 01:24:12.365
since they do know and something might happen,

1220
01:24:12.555 --> 01:24:15.285
they might then think differently of me.

1221
01:24:15.285 --> 01:24:20.005
There's like a bias that they can't like ignore really that like maybe

1222
01:24:20.035 --> 01:24:23.405
like they think that I'm like less than because of it,

1223
01:24:24.425 --> 01:24:29.125
but not like, to a crazy extent if I make a mistake on a word,

1224
01:24:29.315 --> 01:24:32.165
it's more so not because I'm like, it's not as,

1225
01:24:32.435 --> 01:24:35.045
it's like there's like a moment where it's like a thing

1226
01:24:36.705 --> 01:24:39.805
if that makes sense and not like,

1227
01:24:40.865 --> 01:24:45.685
not a negative way, but like, I think like in their,

1228
01:24:45.995 --> 01:24:49.765
like they don't realize by through their biases that it kind of is.

1229
01:24:50.075 --> 01:24:52.045
Yeah. So I work in, um, retail

1230
01:24:53.785 --> 01:24:58.205
and I don't wanna like let them know that I have dyslexia because a lot of like

1231
01:24:58.665 --> 01:25:03.085
my job is like reading and like checking people out like on registers.

1232
01:25:04.585 --> 01:25:04.905
Um,

1233
01:25:04.905 --> 01:25:09.405
and I don't wanna like be seen like as any different than any other like of my

1234
01:25:09.605 --> 01:25:10.438
coworkers.

1235
01:25:10.485 --> 01:25:15.405
I would say it's a lot easier like using assistive technology in school,

1236
01:25:18.145 --> 01:25:22.885
but like using it like in a minimum wage job where I have to like read off of

1237
01:25:22.885 --> 01:25:27.325
like a computer screen is a lot harder. Um,

1238
01:25:27.485 --> 01:25:28.725
I can't really use it during that.

1239
01:25:29.675 --> 01:25:34.565
Sometimes you feel like you can't do something and somebody is above

1240
01:25:34.565 --> 01:25:35.645
you because of that.

1241
01:25:36.385 --> 01:25:41.365
So the power dynamics there like kind of play in and they

1242
01:25:41.365 --> 01:25:45.565
make you like think that, oh, I'm not good enough or stuff like that.

1243
01:25:45.705 --> 01:25:50.125
But through the way I view it, I don't feel like that,

1244
01:25:50.465 --> 01:25:53.085
but I feel like somebody else could very well.

1245
01:25:53.685 --> 01:25:57.605
I feel like with assistive technology, the workplace is actually a good example.

1246
01:25:58.185 --> 01:25:59.018
Um,

1247
01:25:59.635 --> 01:26:04.285
they don't have much assistive technology for dyslexics in the

1248
01:26:04.285 --> 01:26:09.005
workplace because either they just haven't researched it

1249
01:26:09.145 --> 01:26:12.205
and found any way to implement it. But, um,

1250
01:26:12.605 --> 01:26:14.565
I do use some assistive technology in there.

1251
01:26:14.885 --> 01:26:19.405
I use like computers for certain tasks that may be done on a piece of paper

1252
01:26:20.145 --> 01:26:24.725
and I may use, um, let's see,

1253
01:26:25.825 --> 01:26:29.245
things to help me keep track of tasks day to day.

1254
01:26:29.985 --> 01:26:33.405
And so I feel like in some social structures,

1255
01:26:33.455 --> 01:26:37.325
especially like work home and, um, school,

1256
01:26:37.505 --> 01:26:38.605
school is a huge one.

1257
01:26:40.525 --> 01:26:42.765
I use the most assisted technology in school,

1258
01:26:42.905 --> 01:26:47.005
so I feel like that's how it all entangles itself.

1259
01:26:47.025 --> 01:26:48.525
But I feel like my dyslexia,

1260
01:26:49.145 --> 01:26:52.365
the way I navigate everything with it is

1261
01:26:54.225 --> 01:26:55.058
pretty much

1262
01:26:57.865 --> 01:27:01.765
the same along all except it's way more in school.

1263
01:27:01.865 --> 01:27:05.165
So like between my work and um,

1264
01:27:06.695 --> 01:27:07.845
maybe even like,

1265
01:27:08.275 --> 01:27:12.845
just any type of social structures that I go through throughout the day,

1266
01:27:12.875 --> 01:27:16.525
most of 'em are pretty much the same. But when it comes to school,

1267
01:27:16.705 --> 01:27:19.325
that's when I use more assistive technology.

1268
01:27:19.445 --> 01:27:24.325
I use more of my helps that make it easier for me to navigate with

1269
01:27:24.325 --> 01:27:25.158
my dyslexia.

1270
01:27:36.965 --> 01:27:40.645
I would say having dyslexia

1271
01:27:41.825 --> 01:27:46.165
is not a significant life event

1272
01:27:47.265 --> 01:27:51.485
per se because I've never experienced life without it.

1273
01:27:52.485 --> 01:27:54.285
I don't know any different.

1274
01:27:55.565 --> 01:27:59.685
I will say receiving my diagnosis was

1275
01:28:00.555 --> 01:28:04.725
impactful because it allowed me

1276
01:28:06.665 --> 01:28:10.405
the space to understand this

1277
01:28:11.905 --> 01:28:16.485
aspect of how I receive information

1278
01:28:17.825 --> 01:28:18.658
and

1279
01:28:19.635 --> 01:28:22.925
gave me more direction in

1280
01:28:26.395 --> 01:28:28.085
accommodating for,

1281
01:28:29.045 --> 01:28:33.125
I had figured ways to help myself

1282
01:28:34.855 --> 01:28:38.845
along, along my journey. However,

1283
01:28:40.105 --> 01:28:44.645
having that diagnosis gave me something to

1284
01:28:44.915 --> 01:28:45.748
know for certain

1285
01:28:48.065 --> 01:28:50.845
and figure out more ways to,

1286
01:28:51.665 --> 01:28:55.245
to accommodate myself to be successful

1287
01:28:56.465 --> 01:29:00.885
in my endeavors. The ability to be able to access

1288
01:29:01.445 --> 01:29:05.365
Resources and assistant technologies has changed my life

1289
01:29:06.035 --> 01:29:08.365
immensely. I'm the first in my,

1290
01:29:08.785 --> 01:29:12.565
in my family to graduate high school. I didn't,

1291
01:29:12.765 --> 01:29:16.765
I I would never imagine that I'd be in a PhD program at this point in my life.

1292
01:29:17.745 --> 01:29:22.445
And that's because I accepted

1293
01:29:22.585 --> 01:29:27.565
my disability and I was willing to seek services and I've been willing

1294
01:29:27.585 --> 01:29:30.885
to work with others in this process. It,

1295
01:29:31.625 --> 01:29:36.205
it is the thing that is keeping me in school and

1296
01:29:36.465 --> 01:29:39.685
the possibility of like my future.

1297
01:29:40.225 --> 01:29:44.725
If I didn't have these and I and I wasn't able to access resources,

1298
01:29:45.465 --> 01:29:48.445
if I never went through the process of being diagnosed,

1299
01:29:49.445 --> 01:29:53.085
I highly doubt that I would be in the same position.

1300
01:29:53.605 --> 01:29:58.605
I would've been so frustrated and I would've never returned back to school if,

1301
01:29:58.905 --> 01:30:03.205
if I would never have been able to give, been given that opportunity.

1302
01:30:04.265 --> 01:30:05.765
Yes and no. I think

1303
01:30:07.395 --> 01:30:11.085
when I started using technology and started getting the resource I need was the

1304
01:30:11.085 --> 01:30:15.325
time where shoot, I have it. There's no way around it. I have it.

1305
01:30:15.625 --> 01:30:18.845
And I think that really took a toll on me. That made me cry most nights.

1306
01:30:18.925 --> 01:30:22.325
I cried myself asleep. I prayed to God saying, why would you make me like this?

1307
01:30:22.325 --> 01:30:26.325
Why would you make me like this? And I didn't, it didn't come to me that like,

1308
01:30:26.345 --> 01:30:31.005
oh you have, you don't have something wrong with you. You have dyslexia,

1309
01:30:31.035 --> 01:30:35.285
it's normal. And I thought to myself, oh, I'm just like this stupid girl.

1310
01:30:35.545 --> 01:30:39.085
But if you look at genetics, your parents had it. You,

1311
01:30:39.755 --> 01:30:42.125
your siblings have it, so you're gonna have it either way.

1312
01:30:42.355 --> 01:30:45.165
There's no around that, there's no escaping that.

1313
01:30:45.185 --> 01:30:48.285
And I think looking at it from that point of view,

1314
01:30:48.285 --> 01:30:52.165
looking at from that perspective just brought more

1315
01:30:53.195 --> 01:30:57.765
hope to me that someday I'll be able to be okay with

1316
01:30:57.855 --> 01:31:00.565
using technology. But I think the times I really needed it,

1317
01:31:00.745 --> 01:31:04.525
but the times that I really told myself well made it that I have it.

1318
01:31:04.865 --> 01:31:07.165
So I think when God brought that to me,

1319
01:31:07.445 --> 01:31:11.165
I think that helped me more to cope and to understand why I have it,

1320
01:31:11.305 --> 01:31:14.525
to understand how I have it. And I went to a lot of research about it,

1321
01:31:14.525 --> 01:31:17.845
so I had to tell myself it's okay to have it. It's okay.

1322
01:31:18.645 --> 01:31:20.685
I think that just helped me cope in a way.

1323
01:31:20.705 --> 01:31:24.925
So that helped me admit to myself using technology that I have it,

1324
01:31:24.925 --> 01:31:26.525
if that makes sense. Like it was like more of a life event.

1325
01:31:27.085 --> 01:31:32.045
Learning how to like redo and like get the accommodations I think in the moment

1326
01:31:32.225 --> 01:31:36.285
was like, it's definitely like an event but not like an event. Like,

1327
01:31:36.345 --> 01:31:39.525
oh this is like crazy. It's more so like, okay, this is what,

1328
01:31:39.525 --> 01:31:43.845
like a new thing that you need to do or a new thing you need to ask for

1329
01:31:44.665 --> 01:31:47.725
or a new thing that you can get. Like accommodation.

1330
01:31:47.995 --> 01:31:52.485
When I was diagnosed and I learned about it, that's like an event for me.

1331
01:31:52.555 --> 01:31:55.965
Like in my life I I it's like a core memory for me for sure.

1332
01:31:57.145 --> 01:31:58.965
And then like going through tutoring and stuff,

1333
01:31:59.375 --> 01:32:03.285
maybe at first was like a significant event, but then it's like routine.

1334
01:32:03.305 --> 01:32:04.165
You get used to it.

1335
01:32:04.185 --> 01:32:07.765
You get used to like asking for specific accommodations and for help.

1336
01:32:08.145 --> 01:32:11.685
But when I first started to actually ask for the accommodations,

1337
01:32:11.875 --> 01:32:15.765
that was probably like, like a turning point I would say.

1338
01:32:16.265 --> 01:32:18.565
And like my academics earlier, I was like,

1339
01:32:18.605 --> 01:32:22.965
I mostly wouldn't try to get any extra help because I thought it was just kind

1340
01:32:22.965 --> 01:32:25.205
of like, it's a lot of hard work to get it.

1341
01:32:25.205 --> 01:32:29.725
Like once I actually started to do it, it wasn't,

1342
01:32:29.785 --> 01:32:31.405
it was like a turning point in my academics.

1343
01:32:31.525 --> 01:32:34.165
'cause I have never done good in school really.

1344
01:32:34.675 --> 01:32:38.125
Like I did like me like mediocre until like,

1345
01:32:38.375 --> 01:32:43.165
until college really is when I, I got my first real straight a's ever.

1346
01:32:43.745 --> 01:32:46.525
So, and that's when I also started using accommodations.

1347
01:32:47.345 --> 01:32:51.445
So I think once I consistently like started to use everything that I could get,

1348
01:32:52.665 --> 01:32:57.245
um, I know there I also maybe was working a little bit harder for school,

1349
01:32:57.305 --> 01:33:00.685
but I improved in school. So it was like a turning point

1350
01:33:00.945 --> 01:33:03.245
For me. It was like a significant life event,

1351
01:33:03.675 --> 01:33:07.285
like using assistive technology for the first time. Um,

1352
01:33:08.025 --> 01:33:12.725
it changed like me basically being able to like read and remember

1353
01:33:12.955 --> 01:33:16.045
what I was reading. Like it was amazing.

1354
01:33:16.315 --> 01:33:19.605
Like not having to like reread the same thing eight or 10 times

1355
01:33:21.465 --> 01:33:25.365
or having to like copy down like each and like every word on the page

1356
01:33:26.745 --> 01:33:28.925
to try and like hopefully understand it.

1357
01:33:29.485 --> 01:33:31.525
I feel like when I was younger it was more of a,

1358
01:33:32.745 --> 01:33:37.685
it had more significance because it opened up more of the

1359
01:33:38.365 --> 01:33:42.805
academics for me because I was thrown into

1360
01:33:43.315 --> 01:33:47.445
getting my dyslexia helped and get going to a school for it at a young age.

1361
01:33:47.445 --> 01:33:52.085
Whereas some people may not even deal with it until they're in high school. So,

1362
01:33:52.265 --> 01:33:55.725
um, I feel like since I was in that school,

1363
01:33:55.725 --> 01:34:00.645
they had already had many of the tools because they were always using

1364
01:34:00.645 --> 01:34:03.845
them and innovating in them and I was exposed to them so early.

1365
01:34:04.065 --> 01:34:08.885
But I feel like they really helped me to just be competent

1366
01:34:09.225 --> 01:34:12.525
and like make sure that I,

1367
01:34:12.755 --> 01:34:15.205
once I'm out of the school and I move on,

1368
01:34:15.205 --> 01:34:20.005
that I have the tools that I can use to be successful and make sure that I

1369
01:34:20.775 --> 01:34:21.608
don't get stuck.

1370
01:34:21.755 --> 01:34:25.245
Some of those tools are some that I don't even cognitively know that I'm using

1371
01:34:25.245 --> 01:34:30.125
anymore. I just use them. So one would be Orton-Gillingham,

1372
01:34:30.145 --> 01:34:34.525
Orton-Gillingham is the way that they teach dyslexics at the skank school that I

1373
01:34:34.525 --> 01:34:38.605
went to. And I don't cognitively know that I'm using it,

1374
01:34:38.605 --> 01:34:40.845
but I know I use it every day. So

1375
01:34:42.345 --> 01:34:44.365
to make sure that I don't get stuck,

1376
01:34:44.865 --> 01:34:49.285
I'm constantly using those tools that they have taught me that have just been

1377
01:34:49.285 --> 01:34:51.405
pretty much ingrained in me. It's like a heartbeat.

1378
01:34:51.565 --> 01:34:54.645
I don't think about my heart beating. It just happens. It really helps me.

1379
01:34:54.745 --> 01:34:58.805
And I, I would say I'm pretty lucky in the sense of that.

1380
01:34:59.665 --> 01:35:04.525
And it would bring me a lot of joy if everybody could have

1381
01:35:04.525 --> 01:35:09.485
that because then it'd make it so people who like me who have dyslexia will have

1382
01:35:09.485 --> 01:35:11.645
those tools and they won't have to think about using them.

1383
01:35:12.115 --> 01:35:15.725
They'll just be there. So I feel like,

1384
01:35:16.685 --> 01:35:19.805
I feel like it just helps me because if I do get stuck,

1385
01:35:20.645 --> 01:35:25.565
I just revert to using the tools and so my brain doesn't even

1386
01:35:25.565 --> 01:35:27.725
think about it and I just get through it.

1387
01:35:38.225 --> 01:35:41.165
As a teenager, when I

1388
01:35:43.155 --> 01:35:47.245
started my journey through university, I

1389
01:35:49.915 --> 01:35:54.885
felt overwhelmed and ultimately did not finish.

1390
01:35:56.065 --> 01:35:56.898
Um,

1391
01:35:58.185 --> 01:36:02.925
and paused my education for

1392
01:36:03.845 --> 01:36:05.405
a few decades.

1393
01:36:06.735 --> 01:36:11.405
After receiving my diagnosis at 40, I

1394
01:36:13.195 --> 01:36:16.925
resumed my college and university experience.

1395
01:36:17.585 --> 01:36:22.365
And through that I was able to use technology today

1396
01:36:23.515 --> 01:36:27.885
that would not have been available to 20 years ago.

1397
01:36:30.145 --> 01:36:34.325
And with the assistive technology,

1398
01:36:36.445 --> 01:36:39.845
I believe I am much more successful as a student.

1399
01:36:40.385 --> 01:36:41.645
And what I'm learning

1400
01:36:43.955 --> 01:36:48.325
because of my diagnosis and the supports that I am

1401
01:36:49.035 --> 01:36:49.868
able to use,

1402
01:36:52.285 --> 01:36:57.165
I think that about myself has changed just my traject

1403
01:36:57.175 --> 01:37:00.685
trajectory and my confidence in what

1404
01:37:03.245 --> 01:37:06.485
I am able to achieve.

1405
01:37:09.195 --> 01:37:11.005
Because when I didn't know

1406
01:37:12.865 --> 01:37:16.285
why I was challenged, um,

1407
01:37:17.605 --> 01:37:22.605
I believed what others were saying that

1408
01:37:23.965 --> 01:37:26.045
I wasn't college material

1409
01:37:28.185 --> 01:37:33.125
or I now know that that was not true and that it

1410
01:37:33.125 --> 01:37:33.958
was just

1411
01:37:36.365 --> 01:37:41.005
I had dyslexia and needed to

1412
01:37:41.005 --> 01:37:45.485
understand that better so that I could follow through and achieve

1413
01:37:46.785 --> 01:37:47.618
my goals.

1414
01:37:48.325 --> 01:37:51.685
I don't think I'd be getting my PhD right now if I didn't have assistant

1415
01:37:51.685 --> 01:37:52.518
technology.

1416
01:37:52.525 --> 01:37:57.205
I don't think that I would be thinking about my future as profe as a

1417
01:37:57.205 --> 01:38:00.565
professor, as a researcher if I didn't have, um,

1418
01:38:00.865 --> 01:38:03.045
the this sort of access. Um,

1419
01:38:03.525 --> 01:38:08.045
I mean when I think about my life before being

1420
01:38:08.045 --> 01:38:11.445
diagnosed and before getting, um, accessibility,

1421
01:38:12.445 --> 01:38:16.605
a accommodations, I would've had a very different life. I would've been working,

1422
01:38:17.145 --> 01:38:21.685
um, like part-time jobs I've been working in,

1423
01:38:22.185 --> 01:38:25.885
um, maybe fast food. I would've never tried to, um,

1424
01:38:26.155 --> 01:38:30.965
attempt to getting into a managerial position

1425
01:38:31.265 --> 01:38:36.205
or an executive director position. Um, because I,

1426
01:38:36.605 --> 01:38:41.565
I needed the diagnosis to be able to verify within myself.

1427
01:38:42.305 --> 01:38:46.765
Um, and I needed that to be able to seek the help that I, that I needed. Um,

1428
01:38:46.825 --> 01:38:47.965
and so yeah, it,

1429
01:38:47.985 --> 01:38:52.485
it changed my whole life and I think a lot of people may fear the

1430
01:38:52.845 --> 01:38:54.125
diagnosis. Um,

1431
01:38:54.765 --> 01:38:58.805
I I think for a little bit I went into a little bit of a spiral when I was first

1432
01:38:58.805 --> 01:39:03.125
diagnosed. I, it was like, it was obvious my, my learning disability,

1433
01:39:03.125 --> 01:39:07.845
it was so obvious, but at the same time, when you get a diagnosis, you,

1434
01:39:08.425 --> 01:39:12.045
you start looking at yourself a little bit differently, um,

1435
01:39:12.545 --> 01:39:16.965
and you start questioning things. Um, but ultimately,

1436
01:39:17.945 --> 01:39:22.925
um, having access to these resources at the university, um, at my workplace,

1437
01:39:23.425 --> 01:39:24.765
um, it,

1438
01:39:25.065 --> 01:39:29.205
it has caused me to be able to do the things that I I'm currently doing in my

1439
01:39:29.205 --> 01:39:30.038
life.

1440
01:39:30.245 --> 01:39:33.125
I believe one day I'm gonna be something really big. Uh,

1441
01:39:33.305 --> 01:39:36.565
it could be a Supreme Court justice or just simply a really big lawyer.

1442
01:39:37.105 --> 01:39:39.565
And I think one day there's gonna be a biography about me.

1443
01:39:39.565 --> 01:39:43.405
And I think this is probably one that like an Einstein kind of moment where it's

1444
01:39:43.405 --> 01:39:47.205
like, you had this long book about you and it's gonna mention dyslexia,

1445
01:39:47.205 --> 01:39:49.045
it's gonna mention all these problems saying, oh,

1446
01:39:49.045 --> 01:39:50.165
she has this and that and that.

1447
01:39:50.345 --> 01:39:53.805
And I think it could be a really cool inspiration for like other kids who have

1448
01:39:53.805 --> 01:39:56.925
it or like other little girls who have it to the point where they don't have to

1449
01:39:56.925 --> 01:40:00.805
feel so self-conscious, so stupid about it. I know when I was younger,

1450
01:40:00.805 --> 01:40:04.365
when I looked at Einstein's biography, I was like, I, my gosh, I'm,

1451
01:40:04.385 --> 01:40:06.405
I'm kind of just like him in a way. I'm, I'm okay.

1452
01:40:06.425 --> 01:40:07.605
I'm wanna be as smart as I'm one day.

1453
01:40:07.905 --> 01:40:12.565
So I think going through it that way and having a really cool backstory

1454
01:40:12.895 --> 01:40:17.205
could help people like me and be like, oh yeah, if this girl could do it,

1455
01:40:17.725 --> 01:40:18.558
I could do it.

1456
01:40:18.675 --> 01:40:23.045
It's like something that kind of in my mind is like the first

1457
01:40:23.715 --> 01:40:27.965
kind of thing that was like, kind of like,

1458
01:40:28.225 --> 01:40:32.205
not like significantly different, but like I was told more so that like, oh,

1459
01:40:32.205 --> 01:40:36.965
this is different and it's a part of my everyday life in the past future or like

1460
01:40:36.965 --> 01:40:39.045
present. So I would say it's,

1461
01:40:39.045 --> 01:40:43.645
it would definitely in my biography in all areas 'cause it's

1462
01:40:43.955 --> 01:40:48.365
something that I am gonna have forever basically.

1463
01:40:48.385 --> 01:40:50.965
So I don't think it's ever gonna go away. And it,

1464
01:40:51.115 --> 01:40:52.765
it's not something that I would not be,

1465
01:40:54.625 --> 01:40:56.565
Um, like secretive about either.

1466
01:40:57.425 --> 01:41:02.045
My like high school guidance counselor was like really worried about like me

1467
01:41:03.215 --> 01:41:07.485
going to college and like finding like the right degree. Um,

1468
01:41:07.485 --> 01:41:10.725
and when I shared with her that I wanted to like pursue fashion in college,

1469
01:41:11.825 --> 01:41:13.885
she was like really glad because she's like, okay,

1470
01:41:13.885 --> 01:41:18.525
like that degree like won't really require like a lot of reading or writing say

1471
01:41:18.525 --> 01:41:20.925
like a nursing major, like a journalism major.

1472
01:41:22.315 --> 01:41:24.365
Like they knew that like I wouldn't be able to do that.

1473
01:41:24.585 --> 01:41:26.085
But it kind of made me want to like

1474
01:41:28.105 --> 01:41:32.045
really get into like get a lot better at like writing and

1475
01:41:33.115 --> 01:41:36.525
like reading and like understanding what I was reading.

1476
01:41:37.265 --> 01:41:38.925
And so in high school, um,

1477
01:41:40.005 --> 01:41:44.805
I started like studying a lot every night and it worked.

1478
01:41:44.885 --> 01:41:46.885
I got into ASU um,

1479
01:41:48.785 --> 01:41:53.565
and now like I'm on the honor roll with a 3.5 GPA, which is amazing.

1480
01:41:55.435 --> 01:41:59.285
With dyslexia, it's had a huge impact. It, it actually,

1481
01:41:59.675 --> 01:42:02.045
it's almost like a personality trait kind of,

1482
01:42:02.535 --> 01:42:06.005
which is funny because it's disability and you're like,

1483
01:42:06.005 --> 01:42:09.365
oh that should be a hindrance. But no, it's something unique about you.

1484
01:42:09.805 --> 01:42:14.765
I feel like dyslexia is something that you can look at in a great light.

1485
01:42:14.825 --> 01:42:15.965
You can use it as a,

1486
01:42:16.265 --> 01:42:20.365
I'm dyslexic and I've done a lot of things that most people who aren't even

1487
01:42:20.365 --> 01:42:24.485
dyslexic haven't even done. And so it's something I take pride in actually.

1488
01:42:24.905 --> 01:42:29.765
So like if I were to like write a biography about myself presently or from my

1489
01:42:29.765 --> 01:42:34.365
past, I definitely would use my dyslexia in it and talk about it.

1490
01:42:34.905 --> 01:42:38.285
And if I were to talk about the technologies that I've used,

1491
01:42:38.625 --> 01:42:41.605
the assistive technologies, I can always use them.

1492
01:42:41.625 --> 01:42:44.365
And they're just great things to mention,

1493
01:42:44.635 --> 01:42:47.885
even that maybe somebody who's not dyslexic can use,

1494
01:42:47.955 --> 01:42:49.725
they can use it and it'll benefit them.

1495
01:42:49.945 --> 01:42:53.005
So it's not just about your dyslexia,

1496
01:42:53.075 --> 01:42:56.805
it's about what experiences you bring from your dyslexia.

1497
01:42:57.225 --> 01:43:01.165
So I feel like it's like just a power

1498
01:43:12.145 --> 01:43:17.085
My sarcasm tells me to say I don't exactly jump at the opportunity to join

1499
01:43:17.085 --> 01:43:19.085
book clubs. Um,

1500
01:43:22.165 --> 01:43:26.605
I of course sarcastically because I do uh,

1501
01:43:26.735 --> 01:43:30.925
audio books and enjoy them very much.

1502
01:43:31.465 --> 01:43:35.245
But I think just understanding myself better, I,

1503
01:43:36.245 --> 01:43:37.925
I don't feel as intimidated.

1504
01:43:38.045 --> 01:43:42.645
'cause even if I feel like I don't quite fit in,

1505
01:43:43.645 --> 01:43:44.565
I allow myself

1506
01:43:46.075 --> 01:43:50.365
that bit of understanding to know that well, I'm dyslexic.

1507
01:43:50.565 --> 01:43:55.565
I might've missed that part of the understanding. And that's okay.

1508
01:43:56.065 --> 01:44:00.925
And I'm here and I'm doing life just the same because I don't

1509
01:44:00.995 --> 01:44:01.828
want

1510
01:44:02.985 --> 01:44:06.685
any excuses because I'm capable of achieving.

1511
01:44:07.645 --> 01:44:12.645
I still struggle in spaces with my dyslexia

1512
01:44:13.255 --> 01:44:18.045
where people call themselves writers, you know,

1513
01:44:18.275 --> 01:44:22.285
it's, um, being a researcher ha going into a PhD program,

1514
01:44:22.465 --> 01:44:26.885
having done my master's, I I hear people saying, you know, I,

1515
01:44:27.085 --> 01:44:30.125
I just need to write or I'm going to like take the day and I'm gonna write.

1516
01:44:30.305 --> 01:44:33.045
Or they, they enjoy the act of writing.

1517
01:44:34.185 --> 01:44:38.765
It is still a little bit of a like, trigger for me. Um,

1518
01:44:39.285 --> 01:44:44.085
'cause it's like, yes, I enjoy research, I enjoy, um,

1519
01:44:44.945 --> 01:44:49.765
you know, being within community in these spaces in academia. Um,

1520
01:44:50.025 --> 01:44:54.885
but at the same time I feel like the language that we use in order to qualify

1521
01:44:55.155 --> 01:44:59.845
what is research is really limiting. And it's hard, um,

1522
01:45:00.145 --> 01:45:01.405
to consider to like,

1523
01:45:01.405 --> 01:45:06.365
think about that traditional sense of research and what people see it as,

1524
01:45:06.905 --> 01:45:10.485
um, and put myself in that space. Um,

1525
01:45:10.785 --> 01:45:15.045
and so I think that that's one of the reasons why I do community research.

1526
01:45:15.685 --> 01:45:20.005
I know spaces like this are very limited to people like me and also other,

1527
01:45:20.745 --> 01:45:24.845
um, disenfranchised communities. And so I,

1528
01:45:25.205 --> 01:45:26.605
I want the,

1529
01:45:26.865 --> 01:45:31.645
the benefits and the assets and the chances I've gotten in my

1530
01:45:31.645 --> 01:45:35.125
life to come here and do this, uh,

1531
01:45:35.625 --> 01:45:40.365
to um, ripple out to others. Um,

1532
01:45:42.065 --> 01:45:46.645
and so I wanna be able to create spaces like that for others.

1533
01:45:46.955 --> 01:45:51.525
I've had professors who have made space for me,

1534
01:45:52.345 --> 01:45:55.885
um, and hopefully one day I'll be able to do that same thing,

1535
01:45:56.375 --> 01:45:56.845
For example,

1536
01:45:56.845 --> 01:46:00.245
you have to prove you are smart in order for people to include in things.

1537
01:46:00.505 --> 01:46:04.405
And I think I was really excluded in most of my life because I was seen as a

1538
01:46:04.405 --> 01:46:05.025
dumb girl.

1539
01:46:05.025 --> 01:46:08.005
And I think when I finally got into like another school district and showed

1540
01:46:08.005 --> 01:46:10.245
myself I was smart, that's when I was more included.

1541
01:46:10.325 --> 01:46:12.845
I could always help with like doing all these group projects,

1542
01:46:12.845 --> 01:46:13.678
doing all these things.

1543
01:46:13.765 --> 01:46:17.125
I had to do everything for other people and I just didn't do anything for

1544
01:46:17.125 --> 01:46:19.925
myself. 'cause I wanted to help other people be like, oh yeah, I'm now useful.

1545
01:46:19.985 --> 01:46:21.925
I'm okay now. And when I was excluded,

1546
01:46:22.185 --> 01:46:25.845
it felt like nobody liked me 'cause I was had dyslexia and no one really

1547
01:46:25.855 --> 01:46:29.885
understood me. And that really hurt me in a way. 'cause I'm like, I, I'm smart,

1548
01:46:30.045 --> 01:46:33.205
I can help you. Like, oh no, we don't want you, you, you're gonna be excluded,

1549
01:46:33.205 --> 01:46:34.885
you're fine. You're gonna be sit to the side.

1550
01:46:34.895 --> 01:46:37.605
We'll just do it for you 'cause you don't know how to do it.

1551
01:46:37.945 --> 01:46:41.125
You are not okay enough to do it. You your, you're too stupid.

1552
01:46:41.825 --> 01:46:44.485
So I think when I actually showed what I could do,

1553
01:46:44.485 --> 01:46:47.165
that's when people more included me in, if I have

1554
01:46:47.165 --> 01:46:48.805
An exam and I

1555
01:46:48.805 --> 01:46:53.805
Get extra time on it, I'll like, or if, if I get like accommodation,

1556
01:46:53.805 --> 01:46:58.125
maybe I won't like go somewhere publicly I guess and use that

1557
01:46:58.675 --> 01:47:03.325
just because like, I don't know. Also it helps the focus but also like,

1558
01:47:03.525 --> 01:47:04.885
I don't know people,

1559
01:47:05.405 --> 01:47:09.085
I think people care way more about me than they actually do already.

1560
01:47:09.545 --> 01:47:11.805
So I think that would just draw more attention to myself.

1561
01:47:12.225 --> 01:47:15.285
And so I just don't like that as much. I think that's why.

1562
01:47:15.285 --> 01:47:20.285
So I would maybe not go more public place reading aloud I've gotten a lot better

1563
01:47:20.305 --> 01:47:24.765
at, 'cause I've noticed that everybody will make a mistake when they're reading

1564
01:47:24.765 --> 01:47:25.598
aloud usually.

1565
01:47:26.585 --> 01:47:30.205
So that's one thing I've gotten less stressed about.

1566
01:47:30.405 --> 01:47:34.285
'cause everyone makes that mistake no matter what. But one thing,

1567
01:47:34.285 --> 01:47:37.005
it can get embarrassing if you use completely wrong words.

1568
01:47:37.505 --> 01:47:40.205
That's something I try to like just, it's kind of funny,

1569
01:47:40.305 --> 01:47:44.605
but like I'll be more hesitant maybe to read aloud or

1570
01:47:46.185 --> 01:47:50.205
things. I think more so things like that. Actually, I don't think anyone,

1571
01:47:50.745 --> 01:47:52.085
anyone would,

1572
01:47:52.665 --> 01:47:57.565
has gone like out forth and excluded me or more included me in anything

1573
01:47:57.835 --> 01:48:00.565
because of it more so I think it's me. Like if I know

1574
01:48:02.395 --> 01:48:06.725
something about like an exam or like I am getting an accommodation for an exam,

1575
01:48:06.965 --> 01:48:09.245
I might like exclude myself.

1576
01:48:09.465 --> 01:48:14.165
So that way it's less of like maybe questions or I have to

1577
01:48:14.165 --> 01:48:17.285
explain something maybe more. And I'm like not in the mood to do that,

1578
01:48:17.305 --> 01:48:19.965
so I'm just gonna like exclude myself maybe.

1579
01:48:20.585 --> 01:48:25.565
So that way it's easier for myself and maybe like for other people if

1580
01:48:25.565 --> 01:48:28.445
that hap if like, if I do have an accommodation or

1581
01:48:28.985 --> 01:48:31.325
So I would say in the classroom, um,

1582
01:48:31.435 --> 01:48:36.205
I've had to like make it clear to teachers that I do have dyslexia and

1583
01:48:36.205 --> 01:48:38.725
I've had to like kind of help them like navigate that.

1584
01:48:38.795 --> 01:48:41.365
Like what I need and like don't need.

1585
01:48:42.565 --> 01:48:43.185
Absolutely.

1586
01:48:43.185 --> 01:48:47.845
So I would feel like I exclude myself from like language

1587
01:48:48.335 --> 01:48:49.045
stuff.

1588
01:48:49.045 --> 01:48:53.365
'cause English is almost the language barrier for a dyslexic.

1589
01:48:53.765 --> 01:48:57.885
I feel like I almost, sometimes I'd say to my mom, I'm like,

1590
01:48:57.885 --> 01:49:01.125
English isn't my first language. I don't even know what my first language is.

1591
01:49:01.385 --> 01:49:04.405
So, um, it's, it's funny because

1592
01:49:06.205 --> 01:49:07.845
I exclude myself from like,

1593
01:49:08.035 --> 01:49:10.765
when I was in high school and I was doing Spanish class,

1594
01:49:11.285 --> 01:49:13.325
I would never felt like I could really be there.

1595
01:49:13.525 --> 01:49:18.365
I never felt like it was really available to me with my skills of learning.

1596
01:49:19.185 --> 01:49:20.018
And um,

1597
01:49:21.235 --> 01:49:24.685
another group that I don't really feel like I'd be,

1598
01:49:25.185 --> 01:49:30.005
I'd include myself in would be like, um, writers.

1599
01:49:30.555 --> 01:49:34.045
Like even though many, there are many dyslexics who are writers,

1600
01:49:34.725 --> 01:49:38.645
I just feel like I'm just not a part of that group in groups.

1601
01:49:39.625 --> 01:49:43.805
That's a, I would say in like a group setting when it comes to maybe, um,

1602
01:49:44.325 --> 01:49:47.645
academics. I may be seen as like,

1603
01:49:47.845 --> 01:49:52.045
I don't have good enough skills to be in a particular group.

1604
01:49:52.185 --> 01:49:56.205
So people may not want me in their group because I may drag down someone or I

1605
01:49:56.205 --> 01:49:59.165
may make things slower and make things a slower process.

1606
01:49:59.865 --> 01:50:03.925
But that's the only spot I really feel like I hinder anything.

1607
01:50:13.985 --> 01:50:15.125
My personal beliefs.

1608
01:50:16.125 --> 01:50:20.965
I think that being diagnosed with DYS dyslexia has

1609
01:50:21.755 --> 01:50:26.205
allowed me to look at the world

1610
01:50:27.025 --> 01:50:31.565
in a different light because I never thought of

1611
01:50:31.625 --> 01:50:35.845
myself as different, but I struggled and I noticed things,

1612
01:50:36.105 --> 01:50:41.005
but I still believed myself to be neurotypical for 40

1613
01:50:41.005 --> 01:50:44.045
years after having my diagnosis,

1614
01:50:46.005 --> 01:50:49.445
I look at the world and go, okay, that person is kind of quirky.

1615
01:50:50.115 --> 01:50:53.605
They may have a diagnosis that they don't know about.

1616
01:50:54.365 --> 01:50:58.725
I can see things and understand that

1617
01:50:59.555 --> 01:51:04.005
they're not annoying, they're not, they're just who they are.

1618
01:51:05.365 --> 01:51:08.885
Whatever their behaviors are,

1619
01:51:09.325 --> 01:51:11.525
whatever their challenges are.

1620
01:51:12.465 --> 01:51:14.525
We all have different challenges,

1621
01:51:14.525 --> 01:51:17.605
different life experiences and

1622
01:51:20.355 --> 01:51:24.125
none are better or worse. They're just our life.

1623
01:51:24.545 --> 01:51:29.245
And it's pretty cool to expose

1624
01:51:29.605 --> 01:51:33.085
yourself to um, others.

1625
01:51:33.085 --> 01:51:38.045
Some people like to stay in their comfort zone and um,

1626
01:51:38.495 --> 01:51:42.165
stick with what they know. And I have found myself,

1627
01:51:43.385 --> 01:51:44.218
um,

1628
01:51:44.965 --> 01:51:49.325
I relate really well with people of

1629
01:51:50.715 --> 01:51:55.655
neurodiversity that is different than my own because we

1630
01:51:55.715 --> 01:51:57.895
all accept each other

1631
01:51:59.755 --> 01:52:04.295
and our differences where sometimes people just

1632
01:52:04.605 --> 01:52:08.255
want everybody to fit the mold of normal

1633
01:52:09.675 --> 01:52:12.375
and it's okay to not be norm.

1634
01:52:14.075 --> 01:52:18.735
And I really appreciate that

1635
01:52:18.875 --> 01:52:21.935
aspect of life. And to be honest,

1636
01:52:22.515 --> 01:52:26.895
it was my daughter's diagnosis,

1637
01:52:27.035 --> 01:52:31.575
dys dyslexia diagnosis that led me to

1638
01:52:32.135 --> 01:52:32.968
question my own,

1639
01:52:33.705 --> 01:52:37.535
which is why I was not diagnosed till 40.

1640
01:52:38.955 --> 01:52:39.788
And

1641
01:52:40.835 --> 01:52:45.565
it was really helpful to see her experiencing

1642
01:52:45.925 --> 01:52:49.605
dyslexia. I was able to show her grace

1643
01:52:51.715 --> 01:52:55.765
that I struggled to show myself

1644
01:52:57.935 --> 01:53:02.445
until later. So, um, it was,

1645
01:53:02.705 --> 01:53:07.205
it was my, my journey through parenting her

1646
01:53:08.795 --> 01:53:13.685
that kind of stretched me to grow in this way that I needed to

1647
01:53:13.685 --> 01:53:17.445
grow. And I feel like I'm a better person because of it.

1648
01:53:18.185 --> 01:53:22.245
My experiences for the future and and currently is I,

1649
01:53:22.565 --> 01:53:27.245
I I tend to question why we do things the way they that we do 'em

1650
01:53:27.585 --> 01:53:32.245
and why we've always had to do it and in the future what that means.

1651
01:53:32.985 --> 01:53:37.725
Um, I see many professors, some of 'em are kind of grumpy about,

1652
01:53:38.025 --> 01:53:41.925
oh well we give so many accommodations to these kids these days are,

1653
01:53:41.995 --> 01:53:45.125
when I was in my doctoral program, we, you know,

1654
01:53:45.485 --> 01:53:49.565
I was in the shower and I was uh, you know, having a panic attack, you know,

1655
01:53:49.565 --> 01:53:54.125
most days like, these, these kids get it so easy or whatever. Um, yeah,

1656
01:53:54.205 --> 01:53:58.525
I wanna change that perspective. Um, and that's kind of my philosophy is,

1657
01:53:59.105 --> 01:53:59.938
um,

1658
01:54:00.485 --> 01:54:05.405
I don't think a person's thesis or assignment, um,

1659
01:54:05.425 --> 01:54:10.045
and even in a classroom should have to look the same as everyone else. Um,

1660
01:54:10.425 --> 01:54:15.245
you know, if uh, if I have a student that, um,

1661
01:54:17.115 --> 01:54:21.365
like sometimes I have students who feel very comfortable writing essays and

1662
01:54:21.385 --> 01:54:25.645
that's great. However, I want to be able to make sure that they have this,

1663
01:54:25.995 --> 01:54:30.205
that individuals who feel more comfortable explaining themselves verbally

1664
01:54:31.225 --> 01:54:36.085
or through maybe a piece of art or however they

1665
01:54:36.245 --> 01:54:39.085
want to express, that's what I wanna do.

1666
01:54:39.705 --> 01:54:44.325
And I think that that's kind of my philosophy moving

1667
01:54:44.355 --> 01:54:48.365
forward in, in, in how I teach and how um,

1668
01:54:48.505 --> 01:54:53.165
others present their knowledge to the rest of the world.

1669
01:54:54.085 --> 01:54:57.005
I think my parents influenced my beliefs.

1670
01:54:57.715 --> 01:54:59.525
They influenced the person I became.

1671
01:54:59.915 --> 01:55:03.965
They influence how I use dyslexia, how what,

1672
01:55:04.105 --> 01:55:08.085
how to get away with certain things that an average person can't.

1673
01:55:09.505 --> 01:55:14.245
And I think when I was younger I thought my dyslexia wouldn't let me

1674
01:55:14.385 --> 01:55:16.045
do the things I wanted to do in life.

1675
01:55:16.805 --> 01:55:19.085
I didn't think I was gonna be going to law.

1676
01:55:19.125 --> 01:55:21.685
I didn't think I was gonna be in college 'cause of my, uh,

1677
01:55:21.685 --> 01:55:24.445
because of my disabilities. So I think

1678
01:55:26.305 --> 01:55:30.325
it just helped me grow as a person, helped me have a solid foundation,

1679
01:55:30.545 --> 01:55:35.165
me as a person and learn how to use it so therefore I can actually get into

1680
01:55:36.225 --> 01:55:36.845
law school.

1681
01:55:36.845 --> 01:55:40.365
I can get all these places by saying I just like to have a cool story. Pick me.

1682
01:55:41.685 --> 01:55:44.285
I think that's where it could be

1683
01:55:44.355 --> 01:55:45.285
Used, the positive

1684
01:55:45.945 --> 01:55:48.605
Or that could be used as your standards or values.

1685
01:55:49.385 --> 01:55:53.885
Um, my outlook has definitely helped me 'cause it's definitely I feel like more

1686
01:55:54.165 --> 01:55:54.998
positive,

1687
01:55:55.175 --> 01:56:00.005
which has helped me be more open to using anything that I would

1688
01:56:00.195 --> 01:56:03.365
need or any accommodations or anything, which has been really helpful.

1689
01:56:03.825 --> 01:56:07.685
My parents have always been really supportive of supportive of me,

1690
01:56:08.335 --> 01:56:10.485
especially in school. And like if I,

1691
01:56:10.485 --> 01:56:13.485
maybe I'm not doing great in the class or like reading something,

1692
01:56:14.315 --> 01:56:19.245
they're more supportive and not like negative towards me about it.

1693
01:56:19.345 --> 01:56:22.205
And they're just are like, well, you just learn differently and like,

1694
01:56:23.145 --> 01:56:26.365
that's okay. So I think that's really been helpful too.

1695
01:56:26.505 --> 01:56:31.165
And just being more open about using like all the accommodations I

1696
01:56:31.385 --> 01:56:32.218
can.

1697
01:56:32.645 --> 01:56:36.725
I think just growing up being talked to positively has helped me

1698
01:56:37.595 --> 01:56:39.045
look at things positively now.

1699
01:56:39.875 --> 01:56:43.685
Yeah, so I've definitely been a lot more like accepting of like, okay,

1700
01:56:43.685 --> 01:56:47.885
like I have dyslexia. Like I've kind of like gotten over like,

1701
01:56:48.485 --> 01:56:52.405
I guess the stigma of like having that diagnosis. Like now I'm like, okay,

1702
01:56:52.485 --> 01:56:55.565
I have it, it's my life. I can like work with it. It's okay.

1703
01:56:57.265 --> 01:57:01.845
And using like assistive technology has been really helpful. Um,

1704
01:57:03.085 --> 01:57:04.485
'cause I don't feel like there's any hindrance,

1705
01:57:04.485 --> 01:57:06.205
like with me having dyslexia anymore,

1706
01:57:06.625 --> 01:57:11.485
I'm a man. So I would say that being a man and having dyslexia

1707
01:57:12.265 --> 01:57:15.645
for my definition of it makes me feel like, oh,

1708
01:57:15.645 --> 01:57:20.405
I have a little bit of a hindrance almost. Because when I think of a man,

1709
01:57:20.405 --> 01:57:21.605
I think of someone who's competent,

1710
01:57:21.605 --> 01:57:25.605
who's able to get things done and at some points I can't get things done and I

1711
01:57:25.605 --> 01:57:30.565
have struggles with it. So I feel like in my definition of being a man,

1712
01:57:30.765 --> 01:57:32.125
dyslexia is kind of a hindrance,

1713
01:57:32.125 --> 01:57:36.605
but with the assistive technology it almost eliminates that.

1714
01:57:36.745 --> 01:57:38.645
So it's really nice to have that.

1715
01:57:38.945 --> 01:57:43.045
And I feel like in activities I do most of them,

1716
01:57:43.205 --> 01:57:47.765
I don't really have any problems with my dyslexia. For my personal beliefs,

1717
01:57:47.965 --> 01:57:52.365
I feel like dyslexia hasn't had too much of a

1718
01:57:52.475 --> 01:57:57.005
influence on it because most of that has been friends and family and

1719
01:57:57.235 --> 01:57:58.565
certain life experiences.

1720
01:57:58.665 --> 01:58:03.605
But I do feel like going through having dyslexia and dealing with it has

1721
01:58:03.605 --> 01:58:08.365
an influence on me, uh, has a big influence on my, um, ego in a sense.

1722
01:58:09.105 --> 01:58:13.685
And my strength I feel like is a big one for my personal,

1723
01:58:14.515 --> 01:58:19.285
like I would describe myself as a strong person to be able to get through these

1724
01:58:19.765 --> 01:58:23.525
struggles I've had with dyslexia and use these technologies that have helped me.

1725
01:58:24.065 --> 01:58:27.245
So I feel like ego is an interesting one,

1726
01:58:27.385 --> 01:58:30.085
but I feel like that's a way that I would explain it.

1727
01:58:30.475 --> 01:58:34.765
Like it gives you an ego when you can get through something and prove someone

1728
01:58:34.765 --> 01:58:39.205
wrong in a sense. Yeah, I may be disabled, but don't count me out.

1729
01:58:39.505 --> 01:58:43.205
I'm not done. I got things that I want to do and I'm gonna do 'em.

1730
01:58:43.505 --> 01:58:47.005
So it may take longer, it may be harder for me,

1731
01:58:47.145 --> 01:58:49.045
but I can still show you that I'm gonna do it.

1732
01:59:00.965 --> 01:59:05.325
I definitely rely heavily on text,

1733
01:59:06.625 --> 01:59:10.285
uh, to speech and speech to text

1734
01:59:12.225 --> 01:59:13.058
in academia.

1735
01:59:13.885 --> 01:59:18.845
I don't know that I could abandon it. Um,

1736
01:59:20.455 --> 01:59:24.765
there are some other accommodations I've been given that

1737
01:59:25.415 --> 01:59:30.205
allow for audio recording and note taking and such.

1738
01:59:30.345 --> 01:59:34.245
And I, I felt like it was a little too

1739
01:59:36.195 --> 01:59:37.765
complex. Um,

1740
01:59:38.865 --> 01:59:43.805
and I do very well with just the having the

1741
01:59:43.805 --> 01:59:48.165
text read to me and often following along or

1742
01:59:49.195 --> 01:59:50.765
when taking notes myself,

1743
01:59:51.405 --> 01:59:56.365
I will read from the text and have it typed for me so

1744
01:59:56.365 --> 02:00:01.365
that way I'm not trying to bounce back and forth and

1745
02:00:01.375 --> 02:00:04.005
write and get lost in the words.

1746
02:00:05.325 --> 02:00:07.245
I learned that, uh,

1747
02:00:07.275 --> 02:00:11.245
undergrad was way different than graduate school. Um,

1748
02:00:11.545 --> 02:00:12.605
and so in undergrad,

1749
02:00:12.675 --> 02:00:16.285
like I would ask for accommodations such as more time on my test.

1750
02:00:16.425 --> 02:00:20.765
We don't really do tests in graduate school. Um, I would ask for, um,

1751
02:00:21.585 --> 02:00:23.725
you know, being able to record, um,

1752
02:00:24.875 --> 02:00:28.885
like conversations or something so I could play them back, things like that.

1753
02:00:29.465 --> 02:00:34.005
It works in undergrad, in in graduate school. Um,

1754
02:00:34.505 --> 02:00:36.485
the accommodations that are set, these,

1755
02:00:36.915 --> 02:00:40.845
this list of things that they can give you or possibly, you know,

1756
02:00:41.165 --> 02:00:44.765
possibly accommodate for. Um, I feel like it, it,

1757
02:00:44.825 --> 02:00:49.765
it doesn't connect with the reality of graduate school and

1758
02:00:49.905 --> 02:00:53.165
the expectations on the individual, um,

1759
02:00:53.585 --> 02:00:57.205
and how learning happens in that space because it's more of an individual

1760
02:00:57.605 --> 02:00:59.685
learning process in graduate school.

1761
02:00:59.685 --> 02:01:03.845
You're not trying to learn like a formula in undergrad and um, go through it.

1762
02:01:04.065 --> 02:01:07.605
And so I think that the accommodations, the list,

1763
02:01:08.905 --> 02:01:13.125
our traditional list doesn't work in graduate school. Instead,

1764
02:01:13.245 --> 02:01:18.045
I went directly to my professors and just said, this is my situation.

1765
02:01:18.755 --> 02:01:22.365
Like can you give me an extra semester to work on this?

1766
02:01:23.545 --> 02:01:28.125
Or this is, you know, this is, um, this is,

1767
02:01:28.315 --> 02:01:30.445
this is where my brain just stops right now.

1768
02:01:30.515 --> 02:01:35.205
Like I'm taking five classes and I'm trying to get through all this

1769
02:01:35.205 --> 02:01:39.365
reading and I just can't right now and I just need to be human and I I need you

1770
02:01:39.365 --> 02:01:44.045
to recognize that we are human together and I need more time on this.

1771
02:01:44.665 --> 02:01:45.185
Um,

1772
02:01:45.185 --> 02:01:49.885
and I think building that trust in that relationship was far more important

1773
02:01:50.435 --> 02:01:52.845
than having a piece of paper, um,

1774
02:01:53.435 --> 02:01:58.245
that said this individual needs these accommodations. My,

1775
02:01:58.385 --> 02:02:03.045
my, I think we're also treated differently in graduate school than we are in

1776
02:02:03.045 --> 02:02:07.965
undergrad. We're treated like children that need to be like taught in undergrad

1777
02:02:08.335 --> 02:02:09.605
while in graduate school.

1778
02:02:10.165 --> 02:02:13.085
I think as long as you have those special relationships with your professors,

1779
02:02:13.435 --> 02:02:17.765
they're, they're going to understand they've been there before. Um,

1780
02:02:17.765 --> 02:02:21.165
whether or not they, uh, did it with disability or not,

1781
02:02:22.045 --> 02:02:25.565
I decided to abandon it because I want to

1782
02:02:26.795 --> 02:02:30.845
show people who are not as fortunate enough to have technology that you can

1783
02:02:30.955 --> 02:02:35.765
succeed without technologies. Like when I was younger, as I said,

1784
02:02:35.805 --> 02:02:39.925
I was really poor and we didn't have a lot of money for technologies.

1785
02:02:40.505 --> 02:02:43.805
And I think when I really stepped out side of that and showed people that it's

1786
02:02:43.805 --> 02:02:47.365
okay not to have technology, there's a ways around it. Yeah,

1787
02:02:47.395 --> 02:02:49.525
it's not as efficient, you can't get as far,

1788
02:02:49.585 --> 02:02:51.365
but if I could show people I can get as far,

1789
02:02:52.115 --> 02:02:55.805
then it would really help people show perspective that you don't need certain

1790
02:02:55.825 --> 02:02:58.285
things to be successful. Yes,

1791
02:02:58.315 --> 02:03:00.685
they could really help you but you don't need them. Like,

1792
02:03:00.865 --> 02:03:04.165
so investing into those is not always an option for people.

1793
02:03:04.515 --> 02:03:07.445
It's not always an option for kids who are in low, a lower income.

1794
02:03:07.445 --> 02:03:10.525
People like in in lower income schools support where they can't.

1795
02:03:10.985 --> 02:03:12.245
So I think when I abandoned it,

1796
02:03:12.265 --> 02:03:17.165
it really helped me teach other people how to use certain tools to your

1797
02:03:17.165 --> 02:03:19.045
advantage. Not just technology.

1798
02:03:19.155 --> 02:03:20.165
Like if I abandoned it,

1799
02:03:20.165 --> 02:03:24.605
it's just extra time to go and maybe get it or

1800
02:03:25.475 --> 02:03:30.405
send emails con like contact people or like pick something up.

1801
02:03:31.505 --> 02:03:32.445
So in that sense,

1802
02:03:32.525 --> 02:03:37.045
I feel like I mostly would abandon something just because it's the effort it is

1803
02:03:37.185 --> 02:03:41.965
to get the accommodation is maybe just like a little bit too much more and I

1804
02:03:41.965 --> 02:03:44.045
just am like, is it really worth it? At that point

1805
02:03:45.155 --> 02:03:49.165
When I'm at work I kind of decide to like abandon assistive technologies.

1806
02:03:49.595 --> 02:03:52.325
They're not exactly like quiet or like,

1807
02:03:53.035 --> 02:03:57.285
like people notice like when a computer is like reading the screen to you

1808
02:03:58.305 --> 02:04:02.085
and I don't want them to like treat me like any different than they would like

1809
02:04:02.085 --> 02:04:06.805
knowing I had or didn't have dyslexia. Yeah.

1810
02:04:06.865 --> 02:04:10.845
So I've accepted it like in school and like in classrooms. Um,

1811
02:04:12.345 --> 02:04:15.925
and I usually have to like explain to my teachers like, Hey, like I'm listening.

1812
02:04:16.035 --> 02:04:18.605
Like I know, like I have earbuds in,

1813
02:04:18.665 --> 02:04:23.085
but I'm still like listening to like what you're saying, I'm just like reading,

1814
02:04:23.155 --> 02:04:26.845
like making sure I didn't miss any information on the PowerPoint and just went

1815
02:04:26.845 --> 02:04:27.678
over.

1816
02:04:28.025 --> 02:04:32.565
One that I don't use anymore is the, um, reading ally type stuff.

1817
02:04:33.345 --> 02:04:34.765
So, uh,

1818
02:04:36.465 --> 02:04:41.325
eBooks and things like that I don't really enjoy now because now

1819
02:04:41.365 --> 02:04:45.485
I enjoy having it there to where I can highlight things myself or I can always

1820
02:04:45.485 --> 02:04:47.925
look back to it and know exactly what page it's on.

1821
02:04:48.505 --> 02:04:51.605
And I feel like that's one of the assisted technologies that I don't really,

1822
02:04:51.755 --> 02:04:52.965
that I don't use, that I abandoned.

1823
02:04:53.645 --> 02:04:58.485
I feel like I use tools that I was taught from my

1824
02:04:58.485 --> 02:05:00.325
schooling and um,

1825
02:05:01.625 --> 02:05:05.405
now that they're helping me even more so I don't, I do enjoy eBooks,

1826
02:05:05.405 --> 02:05:10.405
like the audio books, but when it comes to if I'm gonna follow an audiobook,

1827
02:05:10.445 --> 02:05:13.205
I don't wanna follow it on a screen, I wanna follow it on the book next to me.

1828
02:05:14.025 --> 02:05:18.125
So I feel like that would be one of the ones that I've kind of distanced myself

1829
02:05:18.125 --> 02:05:18.958
from.

1830
02:05:19.145 --> 02:05:23.765
But for the most part I use a pretty decent amount of my

1831
02:05:23.795 --> 02:05:28.005
assistive technologies in, in my school setting. As I kept using it,

1832
02:05:28.325 --> 02:05:33.005
I started to find myself not like find myself

1833
02:05:33.075 --> 02:05:36.845
getting better at doing the task without it.

1834
02:05:37.345 --> 02:05:39.565
So it kind of like a training,

1835
02:05:39.985 --> 02:05:44.445
it like trained me to where I can do it without having to have the

1836
02:05:44.445 --> 02:05:48.605
highlighted text and I was able to follow it with just my,

1837
02:05:49.265 --> 02:05:53.885
my brain and I feel like it helps a lot and I feel like that's

1838
02:05:54.765 --> 02:05:59.645
actually almost what you'd want assisted technology to help someone do is to

1839
02:05:59.645 --> 02:06:01.125
make it so that yeah,

1840
02:06:01.125 --> 02:06:03.805
it may train them to where they can do it without having to use it.

1841
02:06:04.465 --> 02:06:08.485
So for me it was more of a, I abandoned it because I felt confident in myself,

1842
02:06:09.385 --> 02:06:13.165
not because I didn't need it, like I can use it whenever it's a great tool,

1843
02:06:13.665 --> 02:06:18.205
but I feel like it's awesome that I was able to get out of it.

1844
02:06:18.645 --> 02:06:22.445
I would say just because of the way I learn in a way,

1845
02:06:22.445 --> 02:06:25.805
because I'm a tangible person, I like to be hands-on with things.

1846
02:06:26.025 --> 02:06:30.445
And sometimes when it comes to some of the, um, assistive technologies,

1847
02:06:30.625 --> 02:06:31.805
you can't be hands-on,

1848
02:06:31.955 --> 02:06:36.125
it's just on a screen or it's just verbal.

1849
02:06:36.745 --> 02:06:38.565
And so when it's hands-on,

1850
02:06:38.685 --> 02:06:41.525
I feel like with the way that I learn with my dyslexia,

1851
02:06:41.525 --> 02:06:42.485
it just helps so much more.