But you're gonna have to say your name for me. Oh, OK. So my name is Shay
, um, Vi Hill, V Hill. That's right. OK. So this is for Solis, um,
interviewing Shay Veil on May 28th, 2016 at about 1:15 p.m. for the
Creative Push project. OK, now we're ready. All right, so if you could
start as far back as the conception. Planned unplanned. Oh gosh, the
ketchup, the conception of my daughter was unplanned, uh, it was in my.
Last year of high school, my senior year in high school, and my boyfriend
was in his first year in college, so. I actually didn't at the time live
with my parents or I was actually living inside of my friend's house. So
at the time, that's when I used to go over to the dorms to see him a lot
and um our daughter wasn't planned at all. So how did you find out? Were
you just like, I'm a superior? Yeah, when um signs showing. When, uh, I
found out when I was pregnant.
Oh gosh.
Well, the first indicator was I started to feel some minor backaches, and
it was uncomfortable because I've never had backaches at the time because
I was 18 at the time and I've never experienced having a backache before.
And when I realized it was really uncomfortable and I didn't really know
what it was at first, like I didn't really lift anything and I was young
before, so I didn't like lifting things didn't really affect me that much.
So just that uncomfortable pain I felt was something new and I was just
concerned about it. And it wasn't until later on, like I realized I was
late on my period about a week and that's when I went to go tell my
boyfriend I was late on my period. And then the nausea came and I noticed
my senses sense and smell was more sharper and it was just horrible. I, I
didn't like the smell of meats. I didn't like the smell of bacon was the
main thing I didn't like the smell of. It made me so sick. It's
interesting. We've heard a lot of meat smells. Yeah.
So were you emotionally when you found out? When we were emotional, uh, I
was emotional. Because actually I come from my family. My mother was a
young parent as well. She had me when she was 16 and one of the first
emotions I felt was I was excited, but then I felt like I also, I let my
family down again because I'm going to be repeating the same footsteps as
my mom, and that I felt like I was kind of disappointed in myself at the
time too because I always thought I wouldn't be that person. But overall,
what came over me as I was really excited actually because. Uh, I always
thought of myself as a mother figure to begin with because I have two
younger brothers. I'm the oldest side of my family. And I have my two
little brothers that I used to watch all the time. My youngest one at the
, my youngest brother at the time was 3 years old, so I'd watch him and
he'd basically be like in a sense kind of like my own child. I would take
care of him in that way. I'd change him clean and bathe them and make sure
he was fed as the old sister, I'd always watch that with him. And I was
excited because oh gosh, as corny as it sounds like you're in that teenage
phase where you're you're like you feel like you're in love with the
person and I was so happy that you know I was gonna have a child with me
my my first love in high school so I was really excited about that. Um,
had you been around pregnant people or seen any births or any had that
much experience with the actual process of birth pregnancy? With the
actual experience with pregnancy, I didn't have any experience at all. I
only had the, I had some friends again, uh,
a lot of, I wanna say a lot. Some of my friends actually in high school
were like way pregnant before me and they had children earlier, so. I only
got to observe that at the time. I didn't really have any family members
or got to experience. I just heard and I got to see some process of like a
baby bump, but after a certain period of time of seeing them, I'd stopped
seeing them in high school and unfortunately I had some friends who didn't
even get to finish high school because they were pregnant with their child
at the time.
So, um, how was the pregnancy?
My pregnancy was.
Oh my gosh, I went through so many. Unexpected things, I guess. Um, I try
to be as prepared as possible as I could. Like my mother bought me a
pregnancy book. I think it was called, oh, I forgot the title of the book.
like what, what to expect when expecting so my mom got that for me and I
would read it, but I, I remember I didn't read it a lot or I didn't read
it as frequently as I wanted to. It was actually my boyfriend who read a
lot of it before I did, so he would go through and like read before like
um when I'm at school he would go ahead and read a bunch of what's going
on and it wasn't until like I'm showing signs he he'll bring up like, oh
that's what you're experiencing, you're experiencing. Nausea, you're,
you're emotional because of this, and he'd always explained to me why I'm
like, how do you know this? I'm like, I didn't even get to this in the
book yet. Then he, he would beat me to it and then I read it. I'm like, oh
, you're really involved. So it was nice. So he was supportive. Oh, he was
my boyfriend was very supportive with uh the whole pregnancy, uh. The
going to find out or going to the doctors when we first found out we were
pregnant, uh. I guess he did his research had a hand and he went out and.
Found out I we either get a blood test or had to go a urine test for me
to or to find out if we were pregnant. So what he did was he got me a
giant cup of like Power aid and I actually had to, he told me to finish it
because it's most likely he's like they're probably gonna draw blood or
make you pee in the cup and I was like, OK, so I drank this giant thing
and I had to go to the bathroom so bad. By the time we're at the doctor's
and I was pacing back and forth, I'm like, oh, they're gonna see us soon,
right? And he's, he's like, don't pee yet. Wait. I No.
I think we're good. But uh yeah,
so I was having to pee and I was pacing back and forth in the lobby. I'm
like, I need to go pee. He's like, don't pee yet. They're gonna have to
collect that. And it was funny because the doctor got my information, he
got my weight, he got my height. He got my age and just checking in
through that process. Uh, then he, right when he saw showed me the cup and
he's like, I need you to. I'm like, OK, cool. So I just grabbed the cup
and he's like, Oh yeah, you're gonna go take a urine sample. So I was like
, Oh nice. I was so happy actually to run into the restroom. So that part
was easy and when he told us that what we were already expecting was the
signs of when my boyfriend already researched that, that we were pregnant
with my daughter at the time. And That was. Just the shock of that. It was
really funny.
I'm trying to remember how.
It was just like a really nervous shaking kind of a feeling and excited as
well. Oh gosh, I repeated your question. OK. Did you hear a heartbeat then
, or did they just get the, they, they just gave us the slip and uh they
gave us a slip for the pregnancy and
say that I was the pregnancy test was positive. And that's when he was
like, my boyfriend at the time, or my boyfriend now. My boyfriend actually
was uh really supportive from there like from the first time we went to go
to find out if I was pregnant too, he went to every single doctor's
appointment with me. Uh, and to, he even had to. Basically beat my mom to
the door to who's gonna hear the heartbeat, um. I had to go back and forth
between Flagstaff and to Winslow IHS Hospital because I didn't have
insurance in Flagstaff at the time or I had access, but it was more
convenient to go to an IHS. So. I had to go to the Winslow Hospital back
to Flagstaff for my wellness or what are they called my prenatal checkups.
So. When we were told that you're gonna be going in for your ultrasound,
I got super excited because I got to see what was actually going around
and moving like I felt like butterflies or something swimming in my
stomach all the time, so I was super excited to go see and see her and see
or hear the heartbeats. So my boyfriend had to beat my mom to the door
basically to who had to go in with me because they only would allow one
person to go in and my mom was really worked up and my boyfriend was
getting really upset, but my mom like came to a conclusion she's like, yes
, you know, you deserve to be in there as much as I want to be, it should
be you. So my mom actually let my boyfriend come in with me and I was
super excited. It was cold. I remember when they stuck me inside that room
, it was really dark and the room looked like kind of scary. It was uh I
never have good memories of the IHS, so everything looked all scary in
there for me, but when.
They turn on the monitor. That's when I saw my daughter for the first time
, she she looked like a little bean. And we didn't know what she was or
whether she was a boy or girl, and they kept, uh, it was too early at the
time for us to know if she was a boy or girl. And after the ultrasound
when we saw her and saw her move and we saw her she was too young to hear
her heartbeat, but we did have a uh an image of her at the end of the trip
when we came back from Winslow. And it was after that we were just talking
about it, my boyfriend and I, whether if we want to find out if we're
having a boy or if we're having a girl. Um, what we prefer or whether or
not what we were hoping for, but we decided that we wanted to keep it a
secret. We don't want to know if our baby was going to be or boy or girl.
So this entire time there my whole pregnancy, I never knew until she was
born of who I was having. So that that was actually fun. How was the um
pregnancy part? I mean, did you gain a lot of weight? Did you have nausea
?
The pregnancy when I found out or when I was pregnant with my daughter, I
felt.
Oh gosh, I, it was funny. I gained weight, but it was, um, as I was
reading your the your husband or your boyfriend or whoever we're supposed
to like they're supposedly supposed to be gaining sympathy weight with you
or some of them do, but it was funny because at the time I was going back
and forth between my house and my boyfriend. Friend's college and his
roommate actually was a really good friend of ours throughout high school
as well, and he was the one picking up my sympathy symptoms. He was
telling me he's like, oh man, I'm getting sick by the meat, and he was
telling me like, I really want some ice cream. So he'd come up and bring
me ice cream or food and my boyfriend was just like, why you? What's wrong
with you guys in a sense. And it was my, yeah, it was his roommate and our
friend who was picking up my symptoms, my sympathy symptoms with me. So he
gained weight with me. It was funny. How much weight did you put on? Oh
gosh, I gained, I found out about. I gained about 30 to, no, no, I gained
40 pounds is what I did, um.
When
Before I was pregnant with my or before my pregnancy, I actually.
Uh oh what was it? No, I was actually bad with a, I guess I didn't really.
Since I didn't live with my parents, I was only living with my friends.
We didn't really necessarily eat every like every 3 school or square meals
a day. So it wasn't until I moved in with my boyfriend and I like I had a
set set home that that they're telling me like, oh you don't eat 3 meals,
but you're pregnant, so you have to eat, right? So my metabolism, my
metabolism was really slow. And so when I actually started to eat like 3
meals a day with with my uh with one of my pregnancy. I gained weight like
crazy and I was freaking out. I'm like, oh my gosh, I only ate like this
and it was like uh to have so much food was really new to me because I
only ate like one meal a day at the time. And so I gained, yeah, I gained
some weight and I think that was just because I really didn't eat right to
begin with. So when I was pregnant, my in-laws made sure I was on top of
it and with my meals and they were good about it. They gave me like really
good nutritious meals like they made me like snacks, grapes, and they'll
send me to my classes with bananas, apples, strawberries. I craved
strawberries is what I always really liked and bagels.
So, um, had you had an idea of the kind of birth you wanted to have? I,
with the kind of birth I was already planning to have, or I wanted a Um, a
kind of more.
No, oh gosh, what is the term like I didn't want to meddle
or I didn't want like an epidural or any like medications like that. I
just wanted her to be natural and hopefully without complications of a
C-section, but I really wanted just a normal pregnancy or like a normal
birthing pregnancy, so. The kind of birthing process I was planning, and I
was trying to prepare myself for was a. Um, just, just try to stay away
from all the medical like an epidural. I didn't want an epidural. I knew
that when I was pregnant with her and. I'm talking to my, what are they
called midwives. Yes you had midwife was the midwife associated with the
hospital? I had a midwife and she was associated with the hospital, I
believe she was, she was really great um that was actually once I
transferred back from Winslow we got um I got accepted to be on a
different access plan that would be covered in Flagstaff for my pregnancy
because I was pregnant, so I was able to be seen in Flagstaff, which made
things way more convenient and I got to be seen and I had this midwife
doctor who was really, she was, she helped us through the entire pregnancy.
And She actually made her way and cared for us because we were 17 or uh
yeah, we were 18 and 18 at the time, so she was really taking their
precautious steps around with us and telling us everything we need to know.
So do you feel um confident going into the birth experience, or were you
scared or what were your feelings? When I was going through the breathing
process, yeah, like as it started to get closer, how are you feeling? As
my pregnancy was nearing towards, I guess my 9 month mark, I felt more
anxious and excited because my belly was getting bigger and bigger and I
get to see her um I got to see my tummy grow and it was really cool and I
was excited and I was scared at the same time because throughout
everything, all my family members, all my friends who had children,
they're telling me like it hurts, and they were scaring me to the point
where he, you know, I heard some of my friends saying they needed the
epidural, that's how bad it hurt and to the point where they made it
really graphic for me and so I was kind of nervous. I was excited to see.
Especially who was in my stomach the entire time I didn't know if I was
having a boy or girl and. As well, I was nervous because I didn't know
anything about the birthing process. So I was only. I was actually really
nervous when uh as the time got near towards.
The 9 month mark and she my daughter was due date was actually supposed to
be in November is when they estimated so I was looking at November and my
family actually did this hilarious thing where they placed bets to where
we had a jar on top of the refrigerator and we had a, it was basically you
pay a day. Of when do you think the baby's gonna come? So they stuck $1 in
for either a Monday or Tuesday, and they stuck another $1 in for a boy, a
girl, or it's a boy, it's a girl, and
And oh they would just buy a week so like they'll throw $7 on if they
wanted to buy a whole entire week like she's the baby's gonna come out on
this day, so they bought the whole entire week. So we had this jar of cash
going on top of the refrigerator and it was funny at the time and it
helped lighten the mood, but I was still nervous and then kind of it was
it was a humor. It was really humorous and it made tensions a little less
higher and it was fun because my family got to see like who was right? Uh
, yeah, so, um, when you got closer to that 9 month mark, um, how were you
feeling physically? Were you, was it during the summer time? Was it hot?
Was it cold? What was that? Yeah,
actually, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I have a, or I'm I have
poor circulation, so I get cold really easily. So when I was pregnant with
my daughter, I was reading like your blood temperature goes up a little
bit or your temperature and your body runs a little tad bit higher, uh,
and I was miserable because I do not like the heat at all, so I had either
my boyfriend sleeping right next to me or I had the dog right next to me
or I had something really or somebody really close. I really hated that
because I felt like it was just too hot. So sleeping was very
uncomfortable for me. And I was really, oh gosh, I was really emotional
over like the littlest things that was funny. I found out that I wouldn't
be really Upset about, but it was either something like a sonic drink I'd
get upset about and worked up and it was my brothers and my boyfriend who
had to take the beating for it. And then I had to think to myself, I'm
like, why is everything, why am I so hormonal? Why am I so sad? Why am I
so happy? Why do I want to like slap you half the time. So during my
pregnancy, my emotional state was really. It was, I had a lot of ups and
downs, which was, now that I look back at it, it was funny because I'm
glad I had my boyfriend and my brothers that were there to take the
emotional beating and to be supportive with me. Um, so had you had your
mother planned on being there with you or your boyfriend in in the
delivery room? Uh, during the delivery. And before my actual pregnancy
when my daughter was gonna be delivered my my boyfriend and I really want
to plan actually to where it's just gonna be us, and he really wanted it
to be where it was just the um just the two of us and when our child's
born it would be a 3. and my mother and his mother really protested
against that and I actually did not care. I just wanted to have a
successful healthy baby and and pretty easy birth that I wasn't
traumatized to to what people were telling me it was gonna be like so I
did want the support of my mother there but at the time actually my mother.
She was in uh Phoenix and she was actually uh in rehab. So she had to,
she was in Phoenix going back and forth from Flagstaff to Phoenix to come
check on me and So she wanted to be there really bad, but I know uh as the
date was getting closer, she, uh, it wouldn't be predicted if she was
going to be there or not. And I got to meet my mother-in-law and a lot of
daughter-in-laws fear their mother-in-laws, especially because I was so
young and My mother-in-law was really intimidating to me at the time, but
she was really sweet and she was really comforting and she was there for
me when my mom wasn't able to be there for me, so she provided a lot of
support through that as well through through my pregnancy, my
mother-in-law provided a lot of support, um. And so actually as the
contractions started early in the morning, I'd say about 3 o'clock.
In the morning I felt a hard contraction and it was so uncomfortable that
I woke up in the middle of the night. I went to the restroom and that's
when I noticed like this bloody discharge and I was like, oh, I read this
in the book. So I come back into the room and I wake up my boyfriend. I'm
like, hey, I think I had that um the mucus plug is I I'm not too sure what
that's called. The mucus plug came out and
So that's when he got up. He was like, Oh, you're feeling fine? And I told
him I was feeling fine right now, but I just wanted to let you know that
you know it's probably gonna happen pretty soon. So surprisingly, I
actually went back to sleep so I didn't feel anything uncomfortable until
3 hours later, around 6 o'clock or 2 hours later, around 5 o'clock I felt
another contraction and that's when I got up and I, I woke my boyfriend up
and I told him I can't go back to sleep. This is really consistent so. He
got up and he went in and told his mother that we're most likely gonna
have to go to the hospital now and. She came in and she was ready. She got
her jacket on and she was um early in the morning, she got her jacket on,
she got everything ready. And she was ready to help me go to the hospital
, but my boyfriend protested, saying like, you know, you have to take my
younger sister to school first, you're not going to be able to go there.
And if you do, he was just bringing up a bunch of excuses and I was at the
time sitting on this medicine ball or the this therapy ball on the floor
bouncing up and down, listening to them argue and bicker, and I'm like,
I'm in, I'm in pain. I was just really hurts. I need, can we please go to
the hospital soon? And they were arguing whether if she wants, uh, she
wants to, she wanted to come with us, and he was saying like we have, we
have, we have to go now. So they argued for about a good 20 minutes while
I was sitting on this ball on the floor watching them argue when my
contractions were hitting. And once my mother-in-law finally threw in the
towel, I guess, she, she told us that she'll call us as soon as uh for us
to call her when we made it to the hospital. During the hospital stay
actually, or we checked into the emergency room, uh, they told us that I
was going through, I was going through the delivery process, I believe.
Wait, I forgot my terms. You're in labor. I was going into labor, so. So
they come out with this wheelchair and they took incredible care of us
because they, oh, I was waiting for you to bring that up. What is it? So
we'll retract right before the whole 3 months pregnancy,
you got a UTI and landed you in the hospital. OK, I'm just gonna say that
Steven Yazi, the boyfriend.
I totally was rushing this. OK, no. OK. So actually, I, we came across a
complications with my pregnancy and it was when Oh gosh, I believe I was
probably 5 months along in my pregnancy and I got this UTI infection and
they were just telling me to take care, or just like to drink plenty of
fluids. They gave me antibiotics and it never got better. It got to the
point where I actually felt really sick that I couldn't keep anything down.
I was throwing up just whatever it was in my stomach. It was either the
food I ate, mucus, or just the stomach acid, and it was continuously, I
couldn't stop throwing up. And during that time, my boyfriend and my
family were really concerned because that's when they saw that I was
losing a bunch of weight and actually to the point where I was almost at
my pre-weight before I was pregnant. So I had this big belly and it looked
like I wasn't even pregnant at the time because I couldn't hold anything
in, and I actually
My temperature was running so high that I felt cold rather than actually
that I was running a fever. So I felt like I had the chills and I kept
telling everybody I was cold. I felt I had to put a jacket on, but it was
really hot in the middle of the summer. It was, yeah, it was in the middle
of July and I was telling them I was freezing. So I'd try to take warm
baths or um I would try to take a hot shower and I wouldn't be able to get
rid of this chill. And it was actually when I had to go to a prenatal
visit that was coming up. So it was bad on my part that I waited until my
prenatal checkup. Uh, to see what was wrong. Once they, I went into my
prenatal checkup, my midwife doctor actually checked on me and she took my
temperature and she just stopped right there and she says, you need to go
to the emergency room right now and So once I went to the emergency room,
they already made everything clear there. And before that incident, when I
first had my UTI, the doctor actually came, or the doctor before that, the
first time I went to the hospital, told me it was just a a normal UTI and
they gave me antibiotics and they sent me home. After, yeah, sorry, after
, after that, that's when I started throwing up and I couldn't hold
anything down. And so she sent me back to the hospital and I guess that's
when all the nurses already recognized us and the doctors recognized us
from the first time and that's when my temperature was up. So they had to
bring my temp down. They had to give me some um Oh gosh, I didn't know
what they gave me a lot, but it got to the point where they, like I
couldn't walk. They even stuck a catheter in me and it was really
upsetting for me because I couldn't do the basic basic stuff. And when I
think back now, I was really embarrassed too because I had my boyfriend
who was in the emergency room with me and he was freaking out the entire
time and I felt like. But um, I felt, I don't know what's the word I.
I guess I felt kind of embarrassed too because I didn't want anybody to
see me in this kind of state. I couldn't simply just walk up and use the
restroom. I had to have this tube in me now and I had to have this tube
that was pushing oxygen and like air through my lungs, and I, it was
scaring everybody around me at the time and I really didn't. And like the
best feeling or the the way I described it was I just felt really shut out.
I didn't want anybody to see me like this and So during that time, it was
really scary because the doctors and the nurses were really upset because
the first time I came there, they should have been caught because it came
back positive for some kind of strand that it was going, a blood infection
is what it came to be. And it actually, the doctors when I first went to
go see be seen by them, it came back positive, but they sent me home still
and it got to the point where I had to be there. You didn't see a doctor
at all remember we just saw a nurse and then those nurses and
practitioners said, oh, you were fine, and then they they they just like,
but but she she's sick and it yeah. And so all the nurses and uh they were
doing their best they could and it was. We just got a lot of compliments
though. I remember because they're saying like your boyfriend's so
supportive, you two are so adorable, you two are so young and I was just
freaking out the entire time, but they were being so comforting and they
made everything adjust to where it was comforting and it was actually
really scary during that time because like my temperature, if my
temperature went any higher, yeah it would have been uh um basically the
sor became a blood. It the UTI went into my blood system. It was going to
, I believe they're saying affect my kidneys, and it would have gotten way
much worse than that, and it was it would have been a blood poisoning,
typically, I think. And uh I think the main thing too, that was like a
double whammy was that she was pregnant, so her body put all of her immune
systems and her immuno bodies to the baby. So, yeah, none of her, none of
it was actually helping her, so she was already sick and she was staying
sick because all the things were there helping the baby at the time. Were
you scared for the baby? I was terrified actually because that was the
main thing though like the baby's fine. They were really just concerned
about my overall health and try to get me back up because all the
everything they gave me, they gave me a bunch of potassium because I was
low in potassium. They gave me something to help me with my anemia because
I was anemic already before my pregnancy. So they were trying to get me
back up to my health and my daughter or the baby at the time, or yeah, the
baby was fine. It was just like they were trying to get me back to going
to where I could be able to get this giant mask off my face because it was
pushing air through me and I hated that because it made my lips dry and I
could feel it in my throat and my boyfriend was trying to shove ice
through the cracks because it was just so bad and I actually, it was
supposed to be an overnight stay, but it ended up to be 11 days long. I
was staying in the hospital. And the only way they would would release me
is if I had a, they had me had this. Oh gosh, it was like a. It was like a
little ball. It was like a little tube thing that she breathed in and the
ball moved up and they could scale and they could see if if you're up to
right here, then that's just a normal person, but you need to be up here
showing that you can breathe normally on a normal function basis like
every day to day like at the lowest point, that's like someone who has
like 50 years of like smoking cigarettes and that's where she was like
full on air, so I know exactly what that is. So how did you, did you get
to that point? Like, explain that. I was getting.
They gave me that or this oh gosh, I forgot what it was called, but this
air device, they gave me this tube to kind of help practice like oh you
need to be breathing through this and you gotta try to get this ball on a
scare I think it was like a scale from like 1 to 20 is what it was scaled
at, but they were telling me once you get that little ball up at least
past 15, then you're OK. So I every day I'd keep trying but I had to. I
only got it at the bare minimum and I was looking at that I'm like I like
I swear I could blow through this, but I like my lungs weren't working
with me and I was really anxious to try to get out of the hospital because
I've always been hospitalized since I was little, so it was, it was no fun.
And when I finally got to the point where everything was clear and
everything came back positive that I was OK and I got rebound or I, I kind
of just came back up and it perked back up. That's when they were ready to
discharge me. When I actually weighed myself, or they weighed me before I
was getting checked out, I was like uh 5 pounds off from my my my my
pre-weight actually. So I lost a lot of weight during that stay within
that, it was only like a two week process but All of that was scary
actually, cause I. I didn't look like I was pregnant and I just see this
giant this giant belly and I was scared because I didn't know whether or
not I was really concerned of how the baby was and all the medication they
were doing and what they were giving me that I was hoping that it didn't
affect the baby at all because I was during my diet when I was pregnant, I
tried to keep everything clean. I didn't try to drink a lot of soda. I
didn't do a lot of those like. Um, I didn't do a lot of bad foods. I
always try to eat healthy or I try to stay away from certain things. And
so when they gave me all this medication, I was just really worried
actually for my child. Could you feel the baby moving at this point? I did
feel her moving. That's or doing when I was in the hospital stay, I felt
my daughter moving and I think that was like really comforting along with
my boyfriend and my brothers being there checking on me. That was what
really helped me and helped me recover afterwards too when I got out of
the hospital, but during that time when I was in the hospital feeling her
move was Just knowing I was going to make it, she was gonna make it, and I
was excited when I got out of the hospital finally. Yeah, I think at that
point it was just kind of like. It was really um Like she really put her
all into the pregnancy as far as um taking care of herself, like, like
every single day we went for walks and she kept active, like, you know, we
hear about some pregnant woman, like just from my mom saying that I, you
know, some people get pregnant and they just stay in the couch not doing
anything, they have a really hard delivery, so we made it upon ourselves
and she was the main one that made it upon herself to make sure that we
had an active lifestyle, even though we were pregnant, you know, she was
pregnant. Did your mother-in-law kind of coach you on, you know, Healthy
ways and what it's gonna be like and all that. Uh,
my mother-in-law actually helps by telling me what to expect like, oh like
the graphic site of like what your body will, what will happen to your
body, and she was coaching me basically on how Oh gosh, I don't think my
family or my in-laws actually knew what the proper amount you're supposed
to have when you were pregnant, so they just gave me a bunch of food, but
they were pretty good about it except for my sister-in-law, which cooks,
she tried to cook everything with butter. Like she was like, it's for the
baby. Like, no, it's not. You're just, you, you're eating for two. That's
always what I heard and they'll just give me these foods like you, I just
need it, I think I, I think it was like you only needed 500 or 800
additional. Calories, but they were giving me like 4 to 3 meals and like
back to back, but my mother-in-law kept me consistently like but snacking
on the healthy side and my sister-in-law was trying to feed me chocolate
and everything else but it was it was really funny to see what each of
them were doing, but my mother-in-law was really helpful and. It wasn't,
yeah, it wasn't until they were arguing at the. They were arguing that he
got to go to the hospital with me. So, so yeah, let's pick up there again.
Oh yeah. How long was the drive? Were you close to the hospital?
So 10 minutes away, yeah, we actually live not too far from the hospital.
We're about like 10 minutes away, so it was like around 5 o'clock in the
morning when we started heading up to the hospital. Once we got into the
hospital and they took us into the labor, oh gosh, a small little area
that's not quite the labor room, but they took us in the small triage.
They took us in the small triage room. And they were monitoring us
everything was fine and the nurses recognized us from when the first time
I was in the hospital and they're like, oh my gosh, you guys are back. Are
you excited? I wanted they just kept asking all these questions and they
were so happy and they saw that my boyfriend was still there and they were
super excited and they were just. Adorable. They were so helpful. They
kept offering Stephen juice packets and crackers, and they're checking on
him as much as they were checking on me and they were giving us the best
care that they possibly ever could from that last scare that we had in the
hospital and it was strange actually they told us that the pregnancy was
gonna take like I probably wouldn't deliver my baby until maybe 5 or 6
o'clock or 5 o'clock in the evening. And so we're there at 5 o'clock, like
, oh jeez, we got like 12 hours left. So they checked my, how far along I
was dilated. I came into the hospital when I was 4 m dilated and they're
like, oh yeah, it'll be a while. So they come back again 20 minutes later
and they checked me and I jumped to 6. It's like, oh wow, OK, so once you
get to, I think they were saying 7 or 8, they'll take me into the actual
labor room and by that time it was like close to 8 o'clock. Oh no, it had
to be like around 8 o'clock. That's when they checked on me and then. They
came back again and they saw me shot up to 8 centimeters dilated and
they're like, holy cow, let's get you in the labor room, and they took me
in there and I stayed in there for a while like, oh jeez, it was really we
got this nice labor room
and I don't. Like they knew who we were. They messed up on their thing
when they like when they messed up her UTI and they're like, we better
show these guys some good quality pregnancy room. Like our window had like
the perfect image of the peaks, and then there's like birds and deers
outside and like it was nice. OK, how about you describe.
So when we went into labor room, the labor room, they actually gave us
this really nice big labor room. And it even had a, oh gosh, those cool
little baths, those jet baths they have in there, and my boyfriend at the
time was looking around at the other labor rooms so ours is the nicest one
in the hospital right now, and he was all super happy checking on there,
like looking at all the cool fancy things that we have in our room, and I
was like, I'm in pain. My contractions are hurting and that's when my
contractions were more intense. And my boyfriend was just like, look at
the view outside the window. It's the mountains, the San Francisco peaks,
and during that time actually it was in October, so the leaves were
changing on the mountains and it looked really gorgeous, but I couldn't
really focus on how nice the mountains were looking and My boyfriend was
actually like running around back and forth getting different things for
me. He got me that, uh, the, oh gosh, the exercise ball, the giant
inflatable ball because that helped me a lot when I was at home to help me
sit through and practice some exercises, so that really helped a lot. So
he brought that in and I tried bouncing on that and my contractions were
hurting so hard, or they were hurting so bad actually to the point where I
felt like I couldn't do that, but um. I typically have a high pain
tolerance, so I would try, like right after I didn't find the exercise
while helping, I try to find something else. Like maybe I can walk, maybe
walking will help relieve some pain or tension. So I tried walking and I
stood up and nope, I can't walk, so I sat back down. And my boyfriend
wanted to test out the bath, so he got the bath going on in the bathroom,
and once I was in there, he stuck like half of the bottle of soap in there
and it was like super bubbly and I was he was just excited to mess with it.
So I hopped in there and that's when that's when I realized that my
contractions felt little like they were more dull. My contractions felt
more dull and they didn't feel as sharp and painful so I sat in there for
like a good 10 minutes and it wasn't until Um, the doctors told us to like
, hey, you know, now it's time for you to get into the bed, we'll check on
you to see how far along you're dilated. And during that time actually
they they they had me hop on the bed, I guess at the time they took my
boyfriend into the hallway and the doctor took my boyfriend into the
hallway, and my midwife showed up and I didn't know that yet. So I was
sitting in the bed and I guess they were talking outside in the hallway
that they were gonna break my water and I was actually like I think it's I
was at the right dilation for them to break my water for me. And so he
comes in and he's all super nice, but he looked really nervous, so he was
on the side holding my hand and I didn't know what they were saying in the
hallway. And my doctor came in and she tells me like, oh, well, right now
you're gonna feel some pressure and I'm gonna put some pressure on your
stomach just to feel how the baby is and to feel um I guess where you.
She put her hand on my stomach to feel. Yeah, you must wait till it
totally stops. OK, but she felt my, um, she put her hand on my stomach to
feel how my, how the baby was doing and to show me like basically where
I'm gonna be like where I'm gonna be feeling most pressure from and that's
when she had me up on the table and she told me to kind of just relax and
she was just talking to me like, OK, what I'm, what we're gonna do is she
made it sound like it was gonna happen maybe at a certain time or she made
it happen because I was already expecting 5 o'clock or 6 o'clock in the
evening. Or I was thinking of a later time that I was actually gonna be
having my child or going through the actual labor part, labor part, um.
But when she was explaining this to me, she's like, well, when your water
breaks and she broke my water and she was telling me this, I'm like, oh my
God, my water broke, and she broke it and I that's when my contractions
hurt the most, I believe because it just felt like raw, like some raw
pressure just pressing against me with no, at least with my water, I felt
like there was some cushion or barrier with those contractions, but I just
felt the contractions full on and they were really painful. And once I
realized I'm like holy cow, she broke my water and reading all the books I
read about like this is it, this is the actual labor part, so it. I was
completely clueless until she broke my water and then she was just telling
me like what the process was and to actually start to push and my
boyfriend was freaking out but he was trying to stay there on the side and
he was telling me he's like, good job, you're doing a great job and he was
trying to make phone calls at the same time and one of the nurses that got
really close with us recognized us, but she was so sweet. She actually. Um
, got one of those, uh, got a camera, so she was taking pictures of us the
entire time, and It wasn't until, oh well, the doctor broke my water at
exactly 10 o'clock. So the active the active labor part of me actually Me
pushing my daughter out was 26 minutes long, so. When my daughter was when
all everything kind of just stopped for a moment. I remember when I was
pushing, I felt just this immediate pressure come off and for a split
second my everything was quiet and the doctors were quiet and they just I
was nervous with that tension that was for a little bit of the room being
quiet, but uh that's when I heard my daughter sneeze and they were looking
at us and they just crack up and they're like, oh yeah, she's breathing
and she's when she sneezed we heard her cry and her cry was so it was so
new. It was nothing I never thought I would ever. It was like a unique
sound of just some like somebody that was with me this entire 9 months in
my stomach and I Once I heard her sneeze, it was so it was this tiny
little sneeze sound. I and followed by this little just cry and the my
boyfriend was already he beat me already around there he was just like
looking and he was wanting to hold her, but the doctor looked at her um
like. And my boyfriend said like, oh yeah, I guess who, uh, I guess you're
, I guess whoever won the bet with a uh whoever planned to or whoever had
won the bet of a girl, basically, but like, oh yeah, so. They were super
happy. When Oh gosh, I can't even talk right now. OK, but.
When The doctor actually saw my daughter and she was really excited so
because like she was really sweet and she kept commenting how young we
were at the time and so she's like oh yeah so you guys you guys have your
surprise you got to meet your daughter and when she put my daughter in my
hands I just. I don't know it was this really.
Every book I've read as much as I want to say I like I try to mentally
prepare myself and when I look back, taking care of my brothers and try to
be bothering to them and try to mentally prepare myself, I thought I
already knew how it was gonna be like, but I didn't know until the exact
moment. My daughter touched my arms and I was holding her and she was
quiet for me. She just um she stopped crying and she was this little
swallowed up in this bundle and when I looked at her and when I when she
touched my arms I didn't know how to explain it so much but I just
remembered I just felt these tears coming down my face and I had no
control over them. But when I felt them come upon me. I just looked at her
and I was so excited to finally meet who was
who was going through changes with me at the time and I finally got to
meet her for the first time and the first thing I hear from her is a
sneeze and the first image I see of her is just this calm face and.
All the features I didn't really know that were developing inside me, her
nose, her tiny eyes, lips, and everything was so tiny. And when I was
looking at her. I was very, very excited and happy that I finally have her
in my arms and through everything I've gone through, um, I've gone through.
Oh gosh, an emotional abuse through my childhood. I've been through
physical abuse through my childhood and I've been through. Um,
I had no home. I had to live with my friends at the time, and I had to go
through therapy and counseling because I have all the, I guess, this abuse
I've been through way before. I was pregnant, but when I looked at my
daughter like none of those things that mattered anymore. I have her now
and she pushed me a lot to strive to be who I wanted to be. I know I
didn't want to put her through anything that I had to go through. I know
that I had to show her everything I've been wanting to. I want to show her
the best things in this world and I wanna be able to protect her from
everything and I wanna be able to grow with me because I'm still learning
too and just having her there I realized everything I've gone through
everything that every negatives in my life that has come across, it didn't
matter, it didn't exist and at that time it was only the three of us in
that room. It was. My family in that room and that's when I knew my future
was gonna start was with her right there. That's really good.
Um,
Yeah, that's really powerful, you know, and I love this concept of growing
together. You know, no one's used that phrase before and it's so true
because you really are growing and changing together, you know, and you're
becoming new people that now have this new family. Um, and how introducing
that new life really does change that whole family unit, and it's like
make this bond, right, that didn't exist at the same depth, you know, you
really articulated that beautifully. Yeah. Is there anything else you want
to add? A lot of times we'll ask people like towards the end, is there a
word or phrasing of words that kind of summarizes your experience like
when you reflect back on it. Um, Oh gosh. Reflecting back on it.
I think now I have my daughter, she's 5 years old and she's gonna be
starting kindergarten this year and looking through everything I've done
with her and my boyfriend up till she was just in my stomach and thinking
far back to where my boyfriend and I had to go through our ups and downs
of when we first started seeing each other and I looked through it all and
I realize.
Um, as much as my, as much as my life, I thought at the time was really
messed up and my mother being an alcoholic and I never really had a real
home, but now having this something that I've created and something that I
have all the good, the bad, the uglies. It doesn't really matter anymore
now because it it really just matters what you do with it today and what
you wanna handle it. I really don't wanna go back to thinking of anything
of the world owes me anything because it does the world doesn't owe me
anything at all. It's what it kind of what I make with it with my family
so now she's my motivation, my motivation she she's there to remind me. To
take my keys if Mom, do you have your keys? Do you have your wallet? Do
you have your phone? Mom, do you have my lunch? And I'm like, oh yeah,
thank you. I'll forget something on the table now here and there, and
she'll remind me and she'll help me and I'm looking at this and now I have
something to strive with and now I'm growing with her and I get to
experience all these things with her and I get, I'm the one that's able to
show her all these first time experiences, so. It's very exciting and
having her now in my family, I feel. That no matter how bad everything
must seem, you know, this tiniest thing, or there's always good in
something, no matter how small, that's always something I strived and held
on to that kept me going and it was her this entire time that's kind of
made me who I am today and who pushes me and motivates me to do my best in
everything I do. That's great, excellent. All right, would you like to add
anything? Oh, it was.
Emotional roller coaster through it all. It was, um, I guess like as far
as like uh.
When I, when we like when we found out and then when my family lectured me
in um their own way, it was interesting just because. My mom was also a
young teen mom as well. She had my older sister when she was 14 and had me
when she was 16. So, and she came off the reservation, and she was still
with, you know, she, she, she, she did everything with my dad and my dad
was kind of like that leading figure, like, you know, they both had to
work together, but they didn't do it for each other, they did it for their
kids. And, you know, because of that, that helped me with that role model
to like. Not give up to, you know, there's there's a lot of people out
there that kind of give up on their kids and their family and. I just
didn't want that for, for, for my family, that family that was, you know,
that was slowly coming day after day and, you know, I stayed throughout
the entire pregnancy. You know, we had ups and downs. We, you know, even
after, you know, the pregnancy and after the birth, we still have ups and
downs, but, you know, I think the main thing was just to keep going at it
, you know, I think we both use each other and uh Natalie as our um.
Motivation, I guess. And I think that's something that we have um we've
really used my parents inspired me. She herself has inspired me through
her own um. Her own stories that she's told me, I think just together we
inspired ourselves, I mean. I mean, I just graduated um with two degrees,
so I think it's just kind of like, you know, you can, you can show people
that if you're devoted enough, you can be a young parent. There's these
challenges, and it's not easy, but it's possible, and at the end of it,
you can still get yourself educated, you can still get, you know, you can
still end up on the high rope but just don't give up so easily, and I
think that's just something that we've initiated in our own selves with
great family support um with each other, and I think overall it was just
You know, It was fun. So yeah, it was fun and I think um with, with like
how she was telling the story, like the night of or the morning of the
birth, everything ended up how it was supposed to end up. Like we, I
didn't want my parents and anyone else. I didn't want her parents to be
there because like you get enough nap in a room together. They'll start
yelling and getting, they'll stare, everyone will get mad and say, you're
not doing this, right? So I already knew how much stress that was gonna be
, so I didn't want that. And they're all gonna be yelling at me cause I'm
the guy and I have to be there, and I know I know I'm going to be there,
but I kind of made it upon myself to say like, you know what, we're gonna
do it ourselves. And it it ended up exactly how we wanted it, you know, it
was just us in the delivery room. I told my, I called my parents afterward
, after the birth, and they showed up within 20 minutes, cause I mean they
work at the um they work here in Flagstaff, so they were able to make
their way to the hospital pretty quickly. Her mom showed up later on that
day, um. And then it was cool too because after the birth, I, I was only
there for like about 8 hours and then I took off back home to clean up the
entire room. I like, I, I, I vacuumed the carpet I extracted them. I got
the baby center, uh, the baby area ready. I like I moved everything around.
I took her younger brother with me to get everything ready and I didn't
come back till like around 9 o'clock that night, back to the hospital. And
she was, it was funny, one of the funniest comments to this day was funny.
She's like, She's like, you know, Steven, I'm really tired. And I was
like, yeah, of course you're tired. You just push out a baby. I didn't
even woke up at 5 o'clock this morning. You've been up this entire time.
She's like, Oh, I guess you're right. And it was just, it was just really
funny. It's just the whole thing like ended up how it was. We got this
great room, the birth was excellent, and the, the, the birthing time met
up with the date of the day. She was born on 10/26 at 10:26. Can I get you
to say that to her. I forgot to say how we thought of Natalie's name. OK,
so
when Natalie was born actually, it was October 26, 2010, and when they
broke my water, it was at 10 o'clock and the actual labor of me pushing
her was 26 minutes. So when we had her, she was born October 26th at 10:26
a.m. and Oh my gosh, it matched up perfectly. The doctors and nurses were
so cute. Again, they were like, oh my gosh, congratulations, you guys did
it. They were holding her around. They, they wanted to hold her actually
when they were done with everything, and they were really excited because
they were really involved during the times we saw them in the hospital and
when we thought of Natalie's name actually, it was really.
We were thinking of names so like when we were pregnant with her as the
date was getting closer, we were thinking of boy names and girl names and
we didn't know what we wanted to call her her yet or him at the time. So
we thought of boy names we liked, we thought of girl names we really liked
and I spent actually, I realized a lot of time picking out a girl name
than I did with a boy name and it wasn't until. Yeah It wasn't until she
was born we realized that Natalie would be her name because we didn't know
anybody by the name Natalie. We've never met a Natalie in our lives and I
don't want to associate another like a face with a name so she could start
her own her own story there and the reason why we named her middle name
was really special was because her and I share a birthday week. She was
born October 26th, my birthday is October 20th and. Autumn is my favorite
time of the season. It's my favorite season. So we had this nice beautiful
view of the Mayans, and it was autumn time, and so we knew her middle name
was going to be autumn. So her full name is Natalie Adam Yazi, and it's
nice now because I have a nice little ring, it has a ring to it, so when I
get onto her and she knows she's in trouble, I can call her full name.
That's great. Yeah, I love, I love that. I think autumn's a lovely name,
time of year. Oh yeah, autumn. There you have it.
All right. Anything else before we turn off? I do you think you have
anything else said? I don't think
I think I mean, from that day of Natalie being born, I think the only time
that was kind of cool, cause it was just that morning that the three of us
were together, was later on that night when I came back at 9 o'clock and
then we were getting ready for bed, and we kind of fell asleep. I woke up
later the night prior almost around 11, cause I heard Natalie in her bed,
she's going.
She wasn't crying, she's just making this sound, and it was just funny. I
picked her up. She had this big old eyes and then she kind of woke up and
then all this kind of this like went to bed, we fell asleep. It was kind
of cool because it's just like. We started the day with all three of us
and then we ended the day with all 3 of us sleeping together. So it was,
it was one of those things I kind of kept in my own mind that was really
sweet and I think that was just one thing. Blessing.
It's very sweet. Also, Steven picked out her, her outfit. No, yeah,
so the next day, the next day or the next day when we were leaving the
hospital. We made a deal. I told him he could pick out his, um, I told my
boyfriend Stephen that he could pick out the baby's outfit because I got
to pick out mostly everything for the overnight bag. And he felt left out.
I'm like, you could pick the outfit then because we didn't know if we're
having a boy girl, so we try to get these neutral colors, and he came back
with this boy hoodie and it was a dinosaur and he's like, I don't care if
we're having a daughter or a boy. He's like the baby's gonna wear this,
and it was like it was brown and green and it had this dinosaur spiked
tail all the way down its back. And it was a hoodie and it was this cute
little newborn onesie and the whole outfit and I was looking at this like
, OK, so I agree to that and he we threw it in there and I I actually
packed another outfit in there hoping that he'd forget about it. But when
we're going in labor, he threw that outfit back in there and he remembered
that deal I made him so when we brought her home, she had this pink cat
and this dinosaur outfit. Yeah, it was, it was, it was. So.
I love it. OK.even