This is Boris Solis interviewing Ayesha Brownlee for the Creative Push
project on September 19th at 11 11:20. All right, so we're recording.
Great. So yeah, why don't you go ahead and tell us a little bit about
yourself. I'm Ayesha Brownlee. I go by Shay. I'm married to a wonderful
handsome gentleman, and we have one beautiful daughter together. We live
in Levine. We're awesome. What more can I say? We're awesome. OK. Are we
good? OK. OK, so if you feel comfortable, go ahead and take us back as far.
OK, how many, how many children do you have? Just the one. Just the one.
OK. That keeps it simple. Um, OK, so if you could take us back to the
conception, maybe, um, tell us a little bit about that, what you planned,
maybe, um, place it in terms of season, like any sort of anything that can
give us some sense of um location, you know, to orient ourselves. OK, um,
it was 2013.
I had finished law school. We decided that now is the time to try and
conceive. We started. As soon as I graduated, so that was 2012, May 2012.
Nothing happened, nothing happened, nothing happened. January came,
nothing happened. Um, March 2013. I thought I was pregnant. We were in San
Diego on vacation, no period. I'm like, yes, I'm pregnant and we've all,
nearly every woman has had that moment where it's like, uh oh, I'm about
to stain my clothes. I'm at a restaurant. I freak out, go to the bathroom
, of course. Not pregnant. I'm crying. He's holding me. I'm crying. I'm
sobbing at the table. Like I just knew I was pregnant. I bought this cute
little sleeper that I was going to give to you when I found out I was
pregnant. Don't worry about it. We'll be pregnant this time next year.
Just give it a year. No one wants to hear that, but what are you going to
do? So we kept trying. We went out of state in June, we went to Kansas
City, Missouri. And uh it was for his job. So there's like his students,
he's a teacher. His students are in the very next room and we had a
conversation. And this is horrible, but the conversation led to what was
the best sex you ever had, and I am a true Scorpio in that don't ask me
anything unless you want the hard truth, and I informed my husband that he
was not the best sex I ever had, which is horrible. Looking back, lying is
worth it in some situations. But I didn't, it was just the sex, not like
the whole experience. If we were talking about the total the totality of
the circumstances, totally would have been him, but just like raw primal
sex, some other guy. So he got mad and we had angry sex and I guess that's
how you get pregnant, being upset with your mate.
We, you know, we didn't really make up. We just had angry sex and watched
Cops, I think, and um. You know, we went on about business as usual. I
didn't think he was that upset. I found out later how angry that angry sex
really was. Well, the world may never know even to this day, uh, we get
home. And the day we got back, he had to wash clothes, repack, and I had
to take him to the airport. And while he, he went to Indiana, I think.
Heaven knows where he was. He was gone and we got into an epic fight
while he was away on vacation or not on vacation on, on for business and
In the meantime, you know, there's a signal that that you're pregnant. I
didn't know this was a signal. It was like this little flecks of white
stuff in the toilet when you urinate. I was like, well, maybe I just had
some random toilet paper in there. I don't know, you make up stuff when
you don't know. And um I was like, that's really weird. It happened 3 days
straight. Meanwhile, I'm arguing with my husband every time we speak and
I'm like, I bet you I'm knocked up because I'm angry. I'm mad, I'm
freaking furious, darn it. We had one last argument and he had decided, he
didn't tell me, but he had decided when he came home, we were going to
divvy up assets, sign papers like this is it, this is over. Meanwhile, I'm
on um where was I? um uh over on Tatum. That big shopping center. I was, I
was shopping for maxi dresses because it was 100 in hell outside and I was
angry about that too. I'm on the phone with my mother. I'm like, why is it
so blankety blanking hot? I hate this. She said, Well, you're over 30. I'm
like, I've been over 30 for a minute now. Like this summer is no different
than any other summer. I'm just blanking and blanking hot, and I can't
find blankety blanking dresses to fit my blankety blanking small size. I
probably should shop where all the fat girls shop. Where do they shop so I
can find a dress in a size 2. And My mother didn't say a word. I went home.
I was still angry. And took a pregnancy test the next morning and I was
like, Oh, that's why I'm so hot. I'm knocked up. Crap.
And I had one last argument with my husband that day. And like what is
wrong with you? You're. You're pregnant, dummy. He's coming home, and he
came home and I presented him with a box and it was filled with goodies
like diapers, wipes, powder, onesies, and it had a card on top. And it had
a B for our last name and I put it in a big Ralph Lauren box because
that's our signature family label, whatever. Gave it to him He's like,
What is this? I said, just open it. He opens it. He looks at the stuff.
He's like, Well, what is this? I said, Well, read the card. And it said,
Dear daddy, see you in March. He's like What? You're pregnant? You're not
pregnant. I was like, Yeah, actually I am. He says, No, no, no, you're not
pregnant. Yeah, I'm pregnant. I am. He's like, Well, take a test. He said
, took one. He's like, We'll take another one. I said, Take several.
That's how us ladies do. We take several tests. I'm seriously pregnant. He
was like, Huh. All right, so I guess that was when he kind of shredded the
, the virtual divorce documents.
We told the moms the next week, we presented them with little bowls and
spoons because they, you know, they're typical black mothers. They like to
feed you, that's what we do. So everybody was excited and it was, it was
planned, but It was not planned to be at such a horrible, you know, it
wasn't good timing. I wasn't working like it was. Not cool, but you know,
the pregnancy went great. We went to the first. Um, because I went to a
fertility specialist to see what the age was wrong with me. Nothing was
wrong. I just was coming off of 1617 years of Deborah Provera and um the
first ultrasound he went to, I forgot to prep him when you're so early on
, it's not the cute abdominal device, it's the, you know, long dildo with
the condom on it type of device, and he was mortified.
He was mortified. He was like, Oh my God, he's like turning gray, he's
sweating. I felt so bad for the guy. I was like, it's it's OK. Don't worry
, it doesn't hurt. It's slightly uncomfortable, but whatever. This is how
it goes. This is part of being a woman. We use strange devices and
equipment to make sure we're healthy and um. He was fine with that. The
next. The next appointment he came. was when he heard the heartbeat. He
didn't want to be in the room. I demanded he'd be in the room, and he's in
there, and he heard that heartbeat, and he got up and he left. And the the
nurse was like, Is he OK? Like, did you guys have some sort of lover's
quarrel in the waiting room? I was like, No, he's fine. He sent me a text
and he said, I'm OK. I'm in the parking lot. I'm OK. I'm I'm just
overwhelmed with emotion, because he's always wanted a daughter. He's
always wanted a daughter. And of course at that time we didn't know, she
just looked like this little gummy bear on the screen and. He was crying.
So I went downstairs after we had finished up. Everything was fine. And I
said, Are you all right? He says, Yeah, I'm good. Let's go eat. And he was
still messed up through the whole meal, like when we got engaged, he was
messed up through the whole meal. He couldn't believe this life event was
happening. But when we found out it was a girl. I mean, he. Boo hooted up
like he was praising God and crying, and he got on his knees and he was
just like. God, you're real, you're real. Like you promised me and your
promises are coming to pass. Like I can't believe it. You're That's my
daughter. I'm finally having a daughter. I can't believe it. And I'm like
, Well, I was kind of hoping for a son, but you know, you know, baby's
healthy, it's all good, you know, she's and you know when you see him, it
was a 3D in a theater thing. It was totally over the top, but whatever.
And she, she sleeps like I sleep with her hands in her face. And I was
like that is so odd and the scripture really came to life when we were
there through the ultrasound because it says in the word of God that you
know. You knew me before you knitted me in my mother's womb. And to see
that image it was like, this is the knitting. Because you know it's not
like when a piece of paper comes through a printer and it prints from top
to bottom or bottom to top, it's like inside out. We are expanding, we're
ever expanding, expanding like the universe, and I got to see that on the
screen. That was that was just so moving, so incredible. My pregnancy was
awesome. I looked like I had a basketball in my shirt. This guy actually
at the dollar store asked me to pass him the rock like they say on the
basketball court, and he kind of gestured like, Hand me the rock, hand me
the rock. And he did this like basketball move. Strange fellow but very
funny. My job, I finally got a job. I was temping. They didn't know I was
pregnant till I actually said something and even then they were like. Well
, you're carrying this way, you're having a girl, you're carrying this way
, you're having a boy. I'm like, No, we already know it's it's a girl.
Well, you have to wait. No, we've been there. I'm super duper pregnant.
I'm 6 months along. I know what's going on now. I'm just one of those
fortunate broads who's able to just make it happen. And it was a great,
great pregnancy. I all I wanted to eat was hamburgers. I was so ashamed
when I was craving Burger King. Like that is the worst burger. The worst
burger on the face of the planet. Oh, it was awful. But I, I mean, I was
good. I was very happy. I was, I only got morning sickness twice, which
was awesome. I'd never cursed and cried out to God at the same time. The
first time I was, I drank some coffee and I ate some apples and I got so
sick. And you know when when you vomit like as a regular non-pregnant
person, it sucks. But when you vomit as a pregnant lady, it's like the
Incredible Hulk reaches down your throat and rips your all your innards
out and there's nothing you can do and it's like, you know, I need Bruce.
back. Hurry, hurry. Stop. So I'm like cursing like, God, if you told me
to be fruitful and multiply, if you don't stop this, I will never have sex
with my husband again. This marriage will end. There will be no more
children coming through this vessel. Like, please stop. You have to stop
this. And it stopped. Like right then, didn't get sick again till like
month 8, and I think that was just some weird, you know, we all have weird
fluky like I'm just going to be sick right now kind of things, but that
was it. That was great. Um, When it came time for her to show up. Oh
heavens, that was amazing. So we went through a birth center and so it was
like all natural and super crunchy. I didn't realize what a hippie I
really was until I got pregnant. I'm like, no, no, I just need wine.
That's all I need. I drink wine and water and I eat jerky and vegetables,
but hamburgers too, because I will sacrifice cows for the for the cause
and I um. The, the, I was, I was teaching. Was I teaching yet? No, my
husband was teaching and he asked me to grade him some papers, grade
papers for him. And so I
Wait, I have to go back.
One particular Sunday, I don't know what it was. I woke up and I heard. Um
, I think it was 12 more weeks. I was like, that's a weird thing to hear
first thing in the morning, 12 more weeks or so it was so many weeks or so
many days. I don't remember, but I calendared it. And it came out to, I
was going to have this baby in my 38th week, which I had hoped for. I had
prayed for and my mom had both me and my brother at 38 weeks. I was like,
yeah, that's perfect. And you know why it's perfect? Because it's spring
freaking break. Like, yes, let's have a spring break, baby. That's awesome.
The theme for my, um, both of my baby showers was March Madness because
who doesn't love March Madness? It's awesome. So anyhow. This was week 38
and my husband pointed to my belly on the 12th, which was a Wednesday, and
he was talking to my belly and he said, Alyn, this is your father. You
need to come out this week. We got stuff to do. So get it together and you
got to get out. This is your official eviction notice. You need out, OK?
OK, thank you for cooperating. She didn't come the next day, so I was kind
of bummed, but I was cool because, you know, I was still in my
thirty-eighth week. I had a little bit of time. She could bake a little
longer. Thursday night. It's 11 o'clock and I had told her earlier in the
day. I was rubbing my belly. I said, baby, look. I need you to, you got to
come out this week, like in the next few days, but can you please wait
till I do all the laundry? I have to unload and reload the dishwasher. And
I got to grade these papers. Oh, and I have to put the car seats in the
car after that. It's, it's your world, girl. Like you make it happen. So I
finished the laundry. I finished the last paper. At like 10:30.
And I'm just sitting in bed and my neighbor, she was a car seat installer.
She was certified. She said, Oh, she texted me, I saw your light on. Are
you ready to go? Can we put the car seats in now because you're like super
duper pregnant? Sure, let's roll. I get all my clothes on. I was like,
Well, let me go to the bathroom because you know as pregnant gals, I can't
pee myself. Like my pride is too strong. Like I cannot pee on myself. So I
go to the bathroom and I'm going and I'm like, that's really a lot. Like
That's a lot. And you know how we do, we look in the bowl like did
something just happen? And it was kind of murky. I'm like, what would make
my urine so murky? What on earth did I drink? I didn't, I've been drinking
water. I'm good, so. I go out, we install the first one. And I was like,
You know, that was really weird. I'm still like, it's still on my mind,
this whole strange looking pee thing, and she has a child. And I said, Hm
, I think my water broke. She was like, What did you just say? I said, I
think my water broke. No, no, hoe. Like, no. This is this is not even the
business. Why are you so calm? I said. I don't know, but let me go to the
bathroom so we can get the other one in and you know let's handle it. So I
go and I pee again and it's just like a lot. I'm like, OK, yeah, my water
broke, it's cool. So I go on out. I said, Yeah, my water broke. She said,
Why aren't you panicking? I said, from what I hear, this is going to be a
long process, so I need to, I need to take it easy. I'm just gonna ride
this out. She says. You really need to tell your husband. I said, Oh no,
ma'am. This was his long day. He worked all day and then went to class and
worked his second job. Mm mm. I need, I need all hands on deck. I need
hands to be rested on deck. He's staying asleep. I'm, I'm gonna handle
this. There's nothing he can do anyway. What's he going to do? Hold my
hand. I don't think so. So we installed the 2nd seat. And I go inside, I
call my nurse. I was like, Yo, I think my water broke. She said, OK, and
she asked me some questions. I don't remember what they were. And then,
but I do remember her saying, go to sleep. And I was like, you're crazy.
I'm too excited. It is 11:30. At night, she says, you've been up all day.
You need your sleep. I like, I'm wait it's like Christmas Eve. I cannot
go to sleep. She said, whatever. Take your butt to bed. Call me later if
anything changes. I said, I am gonna get in the shower cause I'm starting
to feel it. So I sit on my ball, I get in the shower, I'm humming, you
know, the little birthing moan sounds, you make the same noises getting it
in as you do getting it out, so.
I'm just moaning and. You know, it's getting more intense and I'm getting
tired and. It's like, well, this isn't, this isn't what I thought it would
be, but. OK, so I call her back later. She says, Well, meet me at the
birth center at 1:30ish.
Like 1:30.
OK, so I try to lay down. I can't. I wake my husband up at one. I said,
look, it's go time. I wanted to let you sleep as long as possible, but I
wanted to give you time enough because it was like 6 minutes away from our
apartment. I said, I wanted to give you time enough to shower if you
wanted to pray, if you need to get your mind right, get your head in the
game, whatever you have to do. And he looked at me and he said, I wondered
what the hell was going on in there. Why are you making all those mating
calls?
And I said, Well, you know, I'm, I'm expanding, movements happening. We
get up, there's not enough time to go to Waterburger. It's raining. I'm
starving. I'm so disappointed. We go to the birth center, she's there,
she's ready, and she looks at me and looking back she knew like, you are
such a fool. Take your ass back home. It is not time. So she looks at me,
she checks me out and she says,
Yeah, you are a face, but you're only 1 centimeter. Like I'll break the
rest of your water, but you got to go. And my husband, he's like set the
mood, he's got his music going, he's laid out all this stuff like, and
he's so disappointed. He is furious. Why can't we stay? Why can't, I said
they cannot take us. It's like outpatient. I'm just not progressed enough
for this, so let's just go home. I've already called my mother who's
coming from Chandler to Central Phoenix. So I call her back. I said,
they're not taking us. He calls his mom and says, just stay home, don't
worry about it because it's Thursday night, people got to work on Friday.
My mom's retired. So she comes anyway. She meets us at the apartment. And
you know, we're just going through it and I'm laboring in things. I
started getting tired because every contraction I had to be standing or
walking. And now my legs are tired and I was like, I'm getting stressed
out. I said, Somebody get me a glass of wine. My husband gets one of those
big old like dollar store cups and fills it halfway with red wine and I
just chug it. And I sit there and like, all right, I got relaxed enough
for things to kick in the high gear. So after that, it was on. Like
everything just changed. There was poop, there was blood. I had asked my
husband before my mom got there to run me a bath. I was like, Well, maybe
I can get in the bathtub. The plug was in the water. He's grossed out. I
hate the water on my body. It hurts and you know I don't have a fancy tub
. I have a raggedy ghetto apartment tub, so I can't really fit comfortably.
It was awful and I'm screaming, Help me out, help me out. And he's like,
the plugs in the water. I can't look. Awful. You mean the mucus? Yeah, it
was it was in the water.
He's so grossed out. So, but my mom gets there, I'm out of the tub and I
have just a bikini top on. I'm all fours in our bedroom, and I'm sure this
is forever burned in his memory and he would not touch me for five months
after this thing. Well, You know, when the baby comes down, everything's
got to come out. So I look, my mom's there, she's rubbing my back. I'm on
all fours and I said, I gotta take a dump just like that. And she's like,
well, dump. And so I'm like bearing down. I'm thinking I'm taking the
bowel movement of the ages. I think I'm like a Tonka truck, dump truck,
making it happen and I managed to look back and it's like this little
bitty Hershey kids, like a sugar daddy and I was so disappointed.
I was never more disappointed in anything I'd ever done than when I looked
back at that little bitty mini turd for all the work.
But I didn't have time to like delve into my emotions. I really had to get
my head back in the game. So my mom's cleaning me. My husband is turning
like all colors of green. He's like, You're taking a dump in our bedroom.
All my Ralph Lauren towels.
I cannot wait to make this part of my standup routine because it was
hilarious. Anyhow, mom cleans up the poop and we're going, now I've, of
course, I've lost track of all time. Time, space, energy, everything has
just gone away. It's just me trying to figure out how this baby's getting
out. And I I remember looking up at the clock and saying, why the hell
haven't we called a nurse yet? I said, Where is a doula? My mom's acting
as my doula. They're supposed to send a doula. They know I'm in labor.
What's up? And I said, call the number on the fridge and dial 4 and we
get the nurse and my husband, poor guy. I really did myself a disservice
on making him be a part of this because he was totally. Not with it. He
told me he didn't want to do it. I demanded it. Big marriage mistake.
Listen to your husband. Lesson number 1,844.
So, We call the nurse, they have a conversation. And basically, it's be at
the the Center
I guess it was meet me there in an hour. Which turned out to be, I don't
know, 4-ish, 5-ish, I don't recall. Anyhow, I remember an hour because she
was way out on the west side coming into Central Phoenix. So I'm just
rocking it out like I'm just at the house, you know, throwing my body
weight on my husband, and there was one moment where he said, um, I told
him, I said, Help me breathe. Help me breathe. And he was like, You're
breathing just fine. You're talking, you know, like no husband. That's not
what I'm talking about. Breathe with me. And so I'm holding him with my
arms over his shoulders. We're swaying back and forth and I was like, just
breathe with me, just breathe with me. And so he's totally, I'm sure I
reek of poo and birth and he's like totally being the the uber supportive
husband as he's so grossed out. And I said, Tell me why I'm doing this.
remind me why I'm not going to the hospital, why I don't need the drugs.
He's like, because you're a fucking beast. That's why, like, you're the
freaking man. Let's do this. You've got this. I'm like, you're right. And
I like push away from him like, I'm having this baby, that's all I needed.
And then it came time to leave the house.
And my mom's like, OK, let's go. And I had this raggedy little sundress
that it had a hole in it. That's why I chose to birth in it because it was
on its way out. And she's helping me put on my dress and I said, I can't
go. I cannot go. She's like, Whatever. Put your depends on and let's get
this dress on and let's go. And as I'm pulling up my depends, I'm like,
I'm not going to make it. She's coming. She's going to be here. Don't you
we're not going to make it. It's 6 minutes with stop lights, and I'm
telling them I'm not going to make it. My husband goes to get the Jeep and
my mom's like tugging me along. Come on, we got to go. I'm not going to
make it, mom. I sound like I'm 4. No, mom, it's not going to happen. She's
like, Shut up. Where are your are your shoes? And I put my shoes on and
said, I'm not going to make it. I'm not. And we start to leave and I said
, wait, where are my glasses? She says, Of all the times to worry about
your glasses, it's now. I said, Well, mom, I want to actually see my child
because I cannot see without my glasses. So we get my glasses and we're
walking up it's 3 steps up from our apartment up to the sidewalk and I'm
still saying I'm not gonna make it. She's coming, she's coming. Oh, I
missed a part. Back to when we're in the house, when I'm putting my shoes
on, that was the ring of fire moment. And I was like, Oh, OK. Wow. I said
, yeah, I'm not going to make it. Like, what just happened? I said, she's
coming. Like she's totally coming. So then we get outside and she presents
me to the Jeep.
And I look at the Jeep and I'm having this moment like I never really
figured out how I was going to get in this car while pregnant. This is why
everybody said pregnancy car rides are the worst. So she's like, get in.
I'm like, how? I don't know. I don't know how to maneuver this, how did
this gut and this, no, I have on a diaper and there's a head coming out of
my vagina. I totally can't figure this out. So she tells me to put my
knees in the seat and hug the seat. I'm like, OK, and she I think she even
put the seat belt on me, which is really awkward and weird, but isn't that
what moms do? Safety first. So we're traveling in the hallway. I have my
eyes closed and I'm hugging the seat. I'm telling my husband, she's coming
, Dre, she's coming, she's coming. He's like, well just hold on. I'm like
, no, that's not how this works. She's coming. Hold on, we're almost there.
I said, we're not gonna make it. Like she's she's coming. I'm feeling her
in my diaper. Like thank God for depends because I could not afford to
detail that Jeep. So I'm all for depends during labor and We get there And
I miraculously, it felt like I jumped out of the jeep and I'm standing
there and I'm like, my baby is qui.
And my husband looks at me like a puppy dog and kind of tilts his head to
the side and says, Well, let's go. I said, And apparently my facial
expression and body language informed him that I could not walk. So he
scoops me up and he felt her head on his arm through the diaper. And my
mom has since pulled up and got out of her car. He says, the baby's here,
let's go. So she runs and opens the door to the birth center. My husband
runs in with me behind her, and he drops me on this oversized beanbag
chair. Now pause. When we took a tour of the birth center, my husband
pointed at that that darn beanbag chair and asked if he could, where did
they get one? You know, how, how did you get this? Where is it? And you're
like, Oh, you get them at Costco. That's, you know, someone's had a baby
on that. And he was like, Well, I don't want to sit on it now. He's like,
no, we replace it, you know, and we toss the old ones. Well, guess who was
born on the beanbag chair after one push? He drops me on the beanbag chair.
The nurse is like floored by what has happened because it's only been 5.5
hours since this began. She's like, What is going on? Like, the baby's
coming. She rips off my diaper. She says, Oh God, um, one push. One push,
baby's out. They're talking, oh, she's so beautiful. I'm like, newborn
babies aren't beautiful. Oh, they're scary. They look like wet rats. But
anyway,
I'm asking, what time is it? What time is it? I want to know what time she
was born. 5:10.
5:10
At 11 o'clock. I was grading papers. 5:10. I'm a mom. That's crazy. So
she's out and my husband is. Unfortunately, my husband got the money shot
from across the room because he dropped me on the beanbag chair and he
went around and he looked back and got to see that whole knocked up shot
from the movie. Yeah, I felt really bad for him because I'm sure every
time he closed his eyes for the next 3 months, that was the vision. And um
he was just over the moon. He didn't want to cut the cord. I cut it. That
was pretty cool. And my daughter had an extra finger on her left hand. I
have them on both hands, but she had one just on her left. And um he, he
was holding her and my mom was with me. I couldn't deliver the placenta.
It took me almost an hour, and if I, if I didn't get it out in an hour,
they were gonna transfer me to the hospital. And the reason it didn't come
out was because I was on that freaking beanbag chair. It's hard to get
your bearings on that. So I'd gone in the other room and it still took a
while. Then my body temperature dropped. I'm always cold. I'm, my hands
are cold right now and my daughter, her body temperature wouldn't come up
and you know, we're doing the whole skin to skin thing and I'm like, I'm
cold, she's not going to warm up, whatever. And um Then she didn't want to
latch. I should have known then. She's like me. I don't eat when I'm cold.
It's not going to happen and she did not eat. She was like, screw that.
I'm cool. I'm actually really cool. I'm just gonna chill here. And so then
they, they had to like suck the stuff, the fluid out of her stomach to see
if she'd eat. She still didn't eat. My husband, he was so exhausted. I
felt awful for him. Like one thing I didn't take into account was how
amazing I would feel after giving birth. I felt like the mother fucking
man. Like I would tell anybody, how you feel? I feel awesome. 20 minutes
after she was out, I told my husband. That was awesome. Let's do it again.
And he's like, No. No, no. Did you see what happened? I saw everything.
There was poop. There was blood. You're gross. Like, I saw your stretched
out vagina. No.
And um my mom, she was there. My mother-in-law and father-in-law, they
came and everybody was just so amped and they're all having family time
and I'm still like in the back like begging for food. Please someone give
me pizza, and they did and it was the most delicious pizza I'd ever had in
my life. But the problem was something was up with my reflexes. I don't
remember what happened, but. I was hoping to be home in time to watch The
View at 10. And I wasn't, and I was kind of disappointed, but I was home
by one o'clock. 1:15, I was in my bed. I was on Facebook. I was like, hey
everybody, the baby's here. Like, what? Where are you? It's like, I'm at
the crib. I'm chilling. Like all is well in the world. And it was, it was
an amazing birth. I really felt great. Unfortunately, the following day,
you have the checkup with the baby and we took her to the nurse and. She
still wasn't latching. She still wasn't eating. We had tried formula that
night. I tried pumping. She wouldn't latch onto anything. She wouldn't eat
anything. Long story short, they ended up calling an ambulance to the
birth center to take us to Phoenix Children's and that was the most
ridiculous thing I've ever had to do, because there was nothing wrong with
this kid.
It ended up costing us $1500 because she was lazy. I'm like, well, she's
my kid. I'm kind of lazy too sometimes, especially in a new situation. And
you know, she was fine and it was so funny because you know I was 34, my
husband was 35.
And we're we're in the NICU with this itty bitty baby and all of the
nurses are like, OK, this is what's going on. You know they're asking us
all of these questions and we're cool. Like, do your job. You went to
school for this, you do it every day. Do your job. You guys are so laid
back. I said, there is nothing wrong with my child. I said, I'm gonna tell
you like the little old lady saying this out. Ain't nothing wrong with
that baby. She just got a lazy tongue, which was exactly what it was. She
just didn't feel like eating. And two days later when we were released, he
said. You are absolutely right. She just had a lazy tongue. She just
didn't want to do it. I said, I know. $1500 later. Mom knows best. But we
learned a lot. We got a whole bunch of free bottles and you know, I got to
see a lactation consultant because no one tells you that flat nipples are
an issue. Yeah, I didn't realize I had flat nipples because I don't go
around looking at nipples all day. I don't look at like, oh, can I see
your nips? No one says that. So, and no one told me that breastfeeding
would be an issue with flat nipples. Now I know. They're no longer flat.
Thank you, Ahein. So it was, but it was a great experience. We took her
to church. She was born on Friday. We took her to church on Tuesday. We
walked Steel Indian Park on Friday. People are like, oh, that baby is so
small. How old is she? She's 6 days old. Oh my God, you look at, I had on
the pants I'm wearing today, like, yeah, I was wearing jeans and she was 2
days older, 2 days old.
I rocked that whole pregnancy labor birth thing. I did. Praise Jehovah
Jirah. Like that was awesome. I hope the next one goes as smoothly.
I think that is the perfect ending. I do want to ask you a couple of
things though. So when you were pregnant and you were having the trouble
in your marriage, do you think part of it was was the trying to get
pregnant part? Because Eric and I tried, it was like 6 months and it was
causing us stress in our marriage. Um, I think it was that I wasn't
working and bringing in money. Yeah, that'll do it right.
You know, we are who we are. You know we can be jerks to one another. And
he was especially bitter because I hadn't passed the bar and I wasn't
working and I was like, Well, you're just a jerk. I can't deal with you
right now. So um and then after you told him you were pregnant, did the
relationship get better soon after that? Not exactly. It took a few months.
It's like we're in this now. We can't just shake hands and leave. There's
another person involved. So, and he's told me, he said if she came at the
perfect time because I was ready to bail. That's amazing. Yeah. He's like
, I was ready to say goodbye to this. I just couldn't do it anymore. Now
she's here and you know, no offense, but it's cheaper to keep her. And I
said, Well, I, I guess I agree, you know. I suppose, um, and she must have
you know brightened up your lives and kind of brought you together as
people. I mean it either brings you together or tears you apart. I think
having a kid, you had so many complications to your life. Yes, lot of joy.
That's true, and I've heard so many other women say how the child ruined
their marriage. And that's just not our story. Like we've become a better
husband and wife. We've become a better team because of her. And I, I tell
people all the time, I wish I'd had her sooner. Because that would have
cut back on all the crazy arguments and fights and holes in walls and all
the other stupid stuff you can't take back. All that wouldn't have
happened, or it's not as much, because you know we're human. We get
frustrated, we get disappointed and now you have this person. Mimicking
you and watching what you do and believing that if you don't love him or
you don't love her, then you probably don't love me because that's who I'm
from. I am her. I am him. So it really causes you to step back and look at
it and us being believers, you know, we love God, we are, we believe His
word. It really
Drives home how God sees us. When you see a child, when you see your own
child. And you know that you would move heaven and earth, you would go
through hell and high water, you would, you know, you know, I'll cut a
bitch behind my kid, you know, that kind of thing. Like, wow, that's what
God thinks about me. No matter how unruly my child is, I will still, I
will burn the city down behind her. I will go to jail behind you and It's
hard not to say, Well, maybe God loves me that much or more. And it just,
it just brings things back into perspective, like the little things she
does. I'm like, can't get too mad at that because I do the exact same
thing. Shoot, I need to get my life together. What is wrong with me? I
need to find a therapist's phone number right now. So. I absolutely agree
with that, but you do have patience because you do see yourself in them. I
mean, just little things, irritating habits. Oh my goodness. Yes, that's
funny. Well, great. I think that we're good. I'm going to go ahead and
turn off.