WEBVTT 00:00:00.349 --> 00:00:03.806 This is Boris Solis interviewing Ayesha Brownlee for the Creative Push 00:00:03.839 --> 00:00:10.677 project on September 19th at 11 11:20. All right, so we're recording. 00:00:10.710 --> 00:00:13.156 Great. So yeah, why don't you go ahead and tell us a little bit about 00:00:13.189 --> 00:00:18.596 yourself. I'm Ayesha Brownlee. I go by Shay. I'm married to a wonderful 00:00:18.629 --> 00:00:23.756 handsome gentleman, and we have one beautiful daughter together. We live 00:00:23.789 --> 00:00:30.346 in Levine. We're awesome. What more can I say? We're awesome. OK. Are we 00:00:30.379 --> 00:00:35.146 good? OK. OK, so if you feel comfortable, go ahead and take us back as far. 00:00:35.179 --> 00:00:38.226 OK, how many, how many children do you have? Just the one. Just the one. 00:00:38.259 --> 00:00:44.006 OK. That keeps it simple. Um, OK, so if you could take us back to the 00:00:44.039 --> 00:00:49.085 conception, maybe, um, tell us a little bit about that, what you planned, 00:00:49.118 --> 00:00:54.406 maybe, um, place it in terms of season, like any sort of anything that can 00:00:54.439 --> 00:01:01.195 give us some sense of um location, you know, to orient ourselves. OK, um, 00:01:01.228 --> 00:01:04.165 it was 2013. 00:01:04.198 --> 00:01:08.605 I had finished law school. We decided that now is the time to try and 00:01:08.638 --> 00:01:15.989 conceive. We started. As soon as I graduated, so that was 2012, May 2012. 00:01:16.028 --> 00:01:18.028 Nothing happened, nothing happened, nothing happened. January came, 00:01:20.109 --> 00:01:28.109 nothing happened. Um, March 2013. I thought I was pregnant. We were in San 00:01:28.959 --> 00:01:35.647 Diego on vacation, no period. I'm like, yes, I'm pregnant and we've all, 00:01:35.680 --> 00:01:39.326 nearly every woman has had that moment where it's like, uh oh, I'm about 00:01:39.359 --> 00:01:43.165 to stain my clothes. I'm at a restaurant. I freak out, go to the bathroom 00:01:43.198 --> 00:01:50.516 , of course. Not pregnant. I'm crying. He's holding me. I'm crying. I'm 00:01:50.549 --> 00:01:54.046 sobbing at the table. Like I just knew I was pregnant. I bought this cute 00:01:54.079 --> 00:01:56.956 little sleeper that I was going to give to you when I found out I was 00:01:56.989 --> 00:02:02.566 pregnant. Don't worry about it. We'll be pregnant this time next year. 00:02:02.599 --> 00:02:05.846 Just give it a year. No one wants to hear that, but what are you going to 00:02:05.879 --> 00:02:13.879 do? So we kept trying. We went out of state in June, we went to Kansas 00:02:14.069 --> 00:02:19.677 City, Missouri. And uh it was for his job. So there's like his students, 00:02:19.710 --> 00:02:24.835 he's a teacher. His students are in the very next room and we had a 00:02:24.868 --> 00:02:31.225 conversation. And this is horrible, but the conversation led to what was 00:02:31.258 --> 00:02:36.827 the best sex you ever had, and I am a true Scorpio in that don't ask me 00:02:36.860 --> 00:02:43.237 anything unless you want the hard truth, and I informed my husband that he 00:02:43.270 --> 00:02:49.196 was not the best sex I ever had, which is horrible. Looking back, lying is 00:02:49.229 --> 00:02:56.066 worth it in some situations. But I didn't, it was just the sex, not like 00:02:56.099 --> 00:03:00.237 the whole experience. If we were talking about the total the totality of 00:03:00.270 --> 00:03:04.297 the circumstances, totally would have been him, but just like raw primal 00:03:04.330 --> 00:03:11.225 sex, some other guy. So he got mad and we had angry sex and I guess that's 00:03:11.258 --> 00:03:16.366 how you get pregnant, being upset with your mate. 00:03:16.399 --> 00:03:20.207 We, you know, we didn't really make up. We just had angry sex and watched 00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:26.835 Cops, I think, and um. You know, we went on about business as usual. I 00:03:26.868 --> 00:03:30.555 didn't think he was that upset. I found out later how angry that angry sex 00:03:30.588 --> 00:03:36.356 really was. Well, the world may never know even to this day, uh, we get 00:03:36.389 --> 00:03:42.866 home. And the day we got back, he had to wash clothes, repack, and I had 00:03:42.899 --> 00:03:48.366 to take him to the airport. And while he, he went to Indiana, I think. 00:03:48.399 --> 00:03:53.487 Heaven knows where he was. He was gone and we got into an epic fight 00:03:53.520 --> 00:04:00.616 while he was away on vacation or not on vacation on, on for business and 00:04:00.649 --> 00:04:03.975 In the meantime, you know, there's a signal that that you're pregnant. I 00:04:04.008 --> 00:04:07.376 didn't know this was a signal. It was like this little flecks of white 00:04:07.409 --> 00:04:11.017 stuff in the toilet when you urinate. I was like, well, maybe I just had 00:04:11.050 --> 00:04:13.975 some random toilet paper in there. I don't know, you make up stuff when 00:04:14.008 --> 00:04:18.606 you don't know. And um I was like, that's really weird. It happened 3 days 00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:23.166 straight. Meanwhile, I'm arguing with my husband every time we speak and 00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:28.245 I'm like, I bet you I'm knocked up because I'm angry. I'm mad, I'm 00:04:28.278 --> 00:04:36.278 freaking furious, darn it. We had one last argument and he had decided, he 00:04:36.298 --> 00:04:39.305 didn't tell me, but he had decided when he came home, we were going to 00:04:39.338 --> 00:04:45.106 divvy up assets, sign papers like this is it, this is over. Meanwhile, I'm 00:04:45.139 --> 00:04:52.887 on um where was I? um uh over on Tatum. That big shopping center. I was, I 00:04:52.920 --> 00:04:57.356 was shopping for maxi dresses because it was 100 in hell outside and I was 00:04:57.389 --> 00:05:01.205 angry about that too. I'm on the phone with my mother. I'm like, why is it 00:05:01.238 --> 00:05:05.645 so blankety blanking hot? I hate this. She said, Well, you're over 30. I'm 00:05:05.678 --> 00:05:11.086 like, I've been over 30 for a minute now. Like this summer is no different 00:05:11.119 --> 00:05:14.765 than any other summer. I'm just blanking and blanking hot, and I can't 00:05:14.798 --> 00:05:19.606 find blankety blanking dresses to fit my blankety blanking small size. I 00:05:19.639 --> 00:05:23.205 probably should shop where all the fat girls shop. Where do they shop so I 00:05:23.238 --> 00:05:30.197 can find a dress in a size 2. And My mother didn't say a word. I went home. 00:05:30.230 --> 00:05:34.916 I was still angry. And took a pregnancy test the next morning and I was 00:05:34.949 --> 00:05:39.137 like, Oh, that's why I'm so hot. I'm knocked up. Crap. 00:05:39.170 --> 00:05:43.717 And I had one last argument with my husband that day. And like what is 00:05:43.750 --> 00:05:49.197 wrong with you? You're. You're pregnant, dummy. He's coming home, and he 00:05:49.230 --> 00:05:52.955 came home and I presented him with a box and it was filled with goodies 00:05:52.988 --> 00:05:59.567 like diapers, wipes, powder, onesies, and it had a card on top. And it had 00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:03.606 a B for our last name and I put it in a big Ralph Lauren box because 00:06:03.639 --> 00:06:09.426 that's our signature family label, whatever. Gave it to him He's like, 00:06:09.459 --> 00:06:13.507 What is this? I said, just open it. He opens it. He looks at the stuff. 00:06:13.540 --> 00:06:17.627 He's like, Well, what is this? I said, Well, read the card. And it said, 00:06:17.660 --> 00:06:25.096 Dear daddy, see you in March. He's like What? You're pregnant? You're not 00:06:25.129 --> 00:06:30.257 pregnant. I was like, Yeah, actually I am. He says, No, no, no, you're not 00:06:30.290 --> 00:06:34.616 pregnant. Yeah, I'm pregnant. I am. He's like, Well, take a test. He said 00:06:34.649 --> 00:06:38.776 , took one. He's like, We'll take another one. I said, Take several. 00:06:38.809 --> 00:06:43.817 That's how us ladies do. We take several tests. I'm seriously pregnant. He 00:06:43.850 --> 00:06:47.937 was like, Huh. All right, so I guess that was when he kind of shredded the 00:06:47.970 --> 00:06:52.575 , the virtual divorce documents. 00:06:52.608 --> 00:06:56.846 We told the moms the next week, we presented them with little bowls and 00:06:56.879 --> 00:07:00.536 spoons because they, you know, they're typical black mothers. They like to 00:07:00.569 --> 00:07:06.377 feed you, that's what we do. So everybody was excited and it was, it was 00:07:06.410 --> 00:07:13.986 planned, but It was not planned to be at such a horrible, you know, it 00:07:14.019 --> 00:07:19.786 wasn't good timing. I wasn't working like it was. Not cool, but you know, 00:07:19.819 --> 00:07:25.666 the pregnancy went great. We went to the first. Um, because I went to a 00:07:25.699 --> 00:07:29.586 fertility specialist to see what the age was wrong with me. Nothing was 00:07:29.619 --> 00:07:35.786 wrong. I just was coming off of 1617 years of Deborah Provera and um the 00:07:35.819 --> 00:07:42.467 first ultrasound he went to, I forgot to prep him when you're so early on 00:07:42.500 --> 00:07:49.026 , it's not the cute abdominal device, it's the, you know, long dildo with 00:07:49.059 --> 00:07:54.717 the condom on it type of device, and he was mortified. 00:07:54.750 --> 00:07:58.286 He was mortified. He was like, Oh my God, he's like turning gray, he's 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:02.887 sweating. I felt so bad for the guy. I was like, it's it's OK. Don't worry 00:08:02.920 --> 00:08:07.555 , it doesn't hurt. It's slightly uncomfortable, but whatever. This is how 00:08:07.588 --> 00:08:11.526 it goes. This is part of being a woman. We use strange devices and 00:08:11.559 --> 00:08:16.825 equipment to make sure we're healthy and um. He was fine with that. The 00:08:16.858 --> 00:08:24.226 next. The next appointment he came. was when he heard the heartbeat. He 00:08:24.259 --> 00:08:28.305 didn't want to be in the room. I demanded he'd be in the room, and he's in 00:08:28.338 --> 00:08:33.895 there, and he heard that heartbeat, and he got up and he left. And the the 00:08:33.928 --> 00:08:38.537 nurse was like, Is he OK? Like, did you guys have some sort of lover's 00:08:38.570 --> 00:08:42.736 quarrel in the waiting room? I was like, No, he's fine. He sent me a text 00:08:42.769 --> 00:08:50.769 and he said, I'm OK. I'm in the parking lot. I'm OK. I'm I'm just 00:08:51.099 --> 00:08:55.856 overwhelmed with emotion, because he's always wanted a daughter. He's 00:08:55.889 --> 00:08:59.645 always wanted a daughter. And of course at that time we didn't know, she 00:08:59.678 --> 00:09:05.047 just looked like this little gummy bear on the screen and. He was crying. 00:09:05.080 --> 00:09:09.427 So I went downstairs after we had finished up. Everything was fine. And I 00:09:09.460 --> 00:09:14.996 said, Are you all right? He says, Yeah, I'm good. Let's go eat. And he was 00:09:15.029 --> 00:09:18.307 still messed up through the whole meal, like when we got engaged, he was 00:09:18.340 --> 00:09:21.226 messed up through the whole meal. He couldn't believe this life event was 00:09:21.259 --> 00:09:29.259 happening. But when we found out it was a girl. I mean, he. Boo hooted up 00:09:29.759 --> 00:09:34.775 like he was praising God and crying, and he got on his knees and he was 00:09:34.808 --> 00:09:39.885 just like. God, you're real, you're real. Like you promised me and your 00:09:39.918 --> 00:09:44.066 promises are coming to pass. Like I can't believe it. You're That's my 00:09:44.099 --> 00:09:47.996 daughter. I'm finally having a daughter. I can't believe it. And I'm like 00:09:48.029 --> 00:09:51.275 , Well, I was kind of hoping for a son, but you know, you know, baby's 00:09:51.308 --> 00:09:55.667 healthy, it's all good, you know, she's and you know when you see him, it 00:09:55.700 --> 00:10:02.005 was a 3D in a theater thing. It was totally over the top, but whatever. 00:10:02.038 --> 00:10:06.986 And she, she sleeps like I sleep with her hands in her face. And I was 00:10:07.019 --> 00:10:12.986 like that is so odd and the scripture really came to life when we were 00:10:13.019 --> 00:10:16.986 there through the ultrasound because it says in the word of God that you 00:10:17.019 --> 00:10:23.125 know. You knew me before you knitted me in my mother's womb. And to see 00:10:23.158 --> 00:10:27.797 that image it was like, this is the knitting. Because you know it's not 00:10:27.830 --> 00:10:32.005 like when a piece of paper comes through a printer and it prints from top 00:10:32.038 --> 00:10:36.486 to bottom or bottom to top, it's like inside out. We are expanding, we're 00:10:36.519 --> 00:10:41.125 ever expanding, expanding like the universe, and I got to see that on the 00:10:41.158 --> 00:10:46.275 screen. That was that was just so moving, so incredible. My pregnancy was 00:10:46.308 --> 00:10:50.395 awesome. I looked like I had a basketball in my shirt. This guy actually 00:10:50.428 --> 00:10:53.287 at the dollar store asked me to pass him the rock like they say on the 00:10:53.320 --> 00:10:57.047 basketball court, and he kind of gestured like, Hand me the rock, hand me 00:10:57.080 --> 00:11:01.726 the rock. And he did this like basketball move. Strange fellow but very 00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:06.956 funny. My job, I finally got a job. I was temping. They didn't know I was 00:11:06.989 --> 00:11:11.496 pregnant till I actually said something and even then they were like. Well 00:11:11.529 --> 00:11:15.015 , you're carrying this way, you're having a girl, you're carrying this way 00:11:15.048 --> 00:11:18.816 , you're having a boy. I'm like, No, we already know it's it's a girl. 00:11:18.849 --> 00:11:22.217 Well, you have to wait. No, we've been there. I'm super duper pregnant. 00:11:22.250 --> 00:11:26.696 I'm 6 months along. I know what's going on now. I'm just one of those 00:11:26.729 --> 00:11:32.895 fortunate broads who's able to just make it happen. And it was a great, 00:11:32.928 --> 00:11:38.287 great pregnancy. I all I wanted to eat was hamburgers. I was so ashamed 00:11:38.320 --> 00:11:43.706 when I was craving Burger King. Like that is the worst burger. The worst 00:11:43.739 --> 00:11:48.525 burger on the face of the planet. Oh, it was awful. But I, I mean, I was 00:11:48.558 --> 00:11:54.765 good. I was very happy. I was, I only got morning sickness twice, which 00:11:54.798 --> 00:12:00.775 was awesome. I'd never cursed and cried out to God at the same time. The 00:12:00.808 --> 00:12:06.657 first time I was, I drank some coffee and I ate some apples and I got so 00:12:06.690 --> 00:12:12.217 sick. And you know when when you vomit like as a regular non-pregnant 00:12:12.250 --> 00:12:16.255 person, it sucks. But when you vomit as a pregnant lady, it's like the 00:12:16.288 --> 00:12:21.616 Incredible Hulk reaches down your throat and rips your all your innards 00:12:21.649 --> 00:12:24.976 out and there's nothing you can do and it's like, you know, I need Bruce. 00:12:25.009 --> 00:12:29.635 back. Hurry, hurry. Stop. So I'm like cursing like, God, if you told me 00:12:29.668 --> 00:12:32.797 to be fruitful and multiply, if you don't stop this, I will never have sex 00:12:32.830 --> 00:12:35.395 with my husband again. This marriage will end. There will be no more 00:12:35.428 --> 00:12:39.836 children coming through this vessel. Like, please stop. You have to stop 00:12:39.869 --> 00:12:44.717 this. And it stopped. Like right then, didn't get sick again till like 00:12:44.750 --> 00:12:48.366 month 8, and I think that was just some weird, you know, we all have weird 00:12:48.399 --> 00:12:53.037 fluky like I'm just going to be sick right now kind of things, but that 00:12:53.070 --> 00:13:00.226 was it. That was great. Um, When it came time for her to show up. Oh 00:13:00.259 --> 00:13:05.547 heavens, that was amazing. So we went through a birth center and so it was 00:13:05.580 --> 00:13:08.866 like all natural and super crunchy. I didn't realize what a hippie I 00:13:08.899 --> 00:13:14.307 really was until I got pregnant. I'm like, no, no, I just need wine. 00:13:14.340 --> 00:13:19.866 That's all I need. I drink wine and water and I eat jerky and vegetables, 00:13:19.899 --> 00:13:25.307 but hamburgers too, because I will sacrifice cows for the for the cause 00:13:25.340 --> 00:13:33.340 and I um. The, the, I was, I was teaching. Was I teaching yet? No, my 00:13:33.788 --> 00:13:36.755 husband was teaching and he asked me to grade him some papers, grade 00:13:36.788 --> 00:13:40.366 papers for him. And so I 00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:43.066 Wait, I have to go back. 00:13:43.099 --> 00:13:49.625 One particular Sunday, I don't know what it was. I woke up and I heard. Um 00:13:49.658 --> 00:13:55.005 , I think it was 12 more weeks. I was like, that's a weird thing to hear 00:13:55.038 --> 00:13:58.456 first thing in the morning, 12 more weeks or so it was so many weeks or so 00:13:58.489 --> 00:14:03.076 many days. I don't remember, but I calendared it. And it came out to, I 00:14:03.109 --> 00:14:06.645 was going to have this baby in my 38th week, which I had hoped for. I had 00:14:06.678 --> 00:14:10.116 prayed for and my mom had both me and my brother at 38 weeks. I was like, 00:14:10.149 --> 00:14:13.547 yeah, that's perfect. And you know why it's perfect? Because it's spring 00:14:13.580 --> 00:14:17.196 freaking break. Like, yes, let's have a spring break, baby. That's awesome. 00:14:17.229 --> 00:14:22.076 The theme for my, um, both of my baby showers was March Madness because 00:14:22.109 --> 00:14:29.375 who doesn't love March Madness? It's awesome. So anyhow. This was week 38 00:14:29.408 --> 00:14:35.907 and my husband pointed to my belly on the 12th, which was a Wednesday, and 00:14:35.940 --> 00:14:41.047 he was talking to my belly and he said, Alyn, this is your father. You 00:14:41.080 --> 00:14:48.385 need to come out this week. We got stuff to do. So get it together and you 00:14:48.418 --> 00:14:53.186 got to get out. This is your official eviction notice. You need out, OK? 00:14:53.219 --> 00:14:56.866 OK, thank you for cooperating. She didn't come the next day, so I was kind 00:14:56.899 --> 00:15:00.356 of bummed, but I was cool because, you know, I was still in my 00:15:00.389 --> 00:15:02.706 thirty-eighth week. I had a little bit of time. She could bake a little 00:15:02.739 --> 00:15:09.287 longer. Thursday night. It's 11 o'clock and I had told her earlier in the 00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:14.467 day. I was rubbing my belly. I said, baby, look. I need you to, you got to 00:15:14.500 --> 00:15:18.307 come out this week, like in the next few days, but can you please wait 00:15:18.340 --> 00:15:23.986 till I do all the laundry? I have to unload and reload the dishwasher. And 00:15:24.019 --> 00:15:27.726 I got to grade these papers. Oh, and I have to put the car seats in the 00:15:27.759 --> 00:15:33.726 car after that. It's, it's your world, girl. Like you make it happen. So I 00:15:33.759 --> 00:15:41.407 finished the laundry. I finished the last paper. At like 10:30. 00:15:41.440 --> 00:15:45.956 And I'm just sitting in bed and my neighbor, she was a car seat installer. 00:15:45.989 --> 00:15:49.557 She was certified. She said, Oh, she texted me, I saw your light on. Are 00:15:49.590 --> 00:15:52.717 you ready to go? Can we put the car seats in now because you're like super 00:15:52.750 --> 00:15:57.635 duper pregnant? Sure, let's roll. I get all my clothes on. I was like, 00:15:57.668 --> 00:16:00.956 Well, let me go to the bathroom because you know as pregnant gals, I can't 00:16:00.989 --> 00:16:06.596 pee myself. Like my pride is too strong. Like I cannot pee on myself. So I 00:16:06.629 --> 00:16:11.265 go to the bathroom and I'm going and I'm like, that's really a lot. Like 00:16:11.298 --> 00:16:14.807 That's a lot. And you know how we do, we look in the bowl like did 00:16:14.840 --> 00:16:18.476 something just happen? And it was kind of murky. I'm like, what would make 00:16:18.509 --> 00:16:24.537 my urine so murky? What on earth did I drink? I didn't, I've been drinking 00:16:24.570 --> 00:16:32.395 water. I'm good, so. I go out, we install the first one. And I was like, 00:16:32.428 --> 00:16:35.917 You know, that was really weird. I'm still like, it's still on my mind, 00:16:35.950 --> 00:16:41.226 this whole strange looking pee thing, and she has a child. And I said, Hm 00:16:41.259 --> 00:16:47.336 , I think my water broke. She was like, What did you just say? I said, I 00:16:47.369 --> 00:16:53.226 think my water broke. No, no, hoe. Like, no. This is this is not even the 00:16:53.259 --> 00:16:57.476 business. Why are you so calm? I said. I don't know, but let me go to the 00:16:57.509 --> 00:17:00.816 bathroom so we can get the other one in and you know let's handle it. So I 00:17:00.849 --> 00:17:04.456 go and I pee again and it's just like a lot. I'm like, OK, yeah, my water 00:17:04.489 --> 00:17:09.147 broke, it's cool. So I go on out. I said, Yeah, my water broke. She said, 00:17:09.180 --> 00:17:12.535 Why aren't you panicking? I said, from what I hear, this is going to be a 00:17:12.568 --> 00:17:16.176 long process, so I need to, I need to take it easy. I'm just gonna ride 00:17:16.209 --> 00:17:21.276 this out. She says. You really need to tell your husband. I said, Oh no, 00:17:21.309 --> 00:17:25.476 ma'am. This was his long day. He worked all day and then went to class and 00:17:25.509 --> 00:17:29.795 worked his second job. Mm mm. I need, I need all hands on deck. I need 00:17:29.828 --> 00:17:35.156 hands to be rested on deck. He's staying asleep. I'm, I'm gonna handle 00:17:35.189 --> 00:17:39.456 this. There's nothing he can do anyway. What's he going to do? Hold my 00:17:39.489 --> 00:17:46.006 hand. I don't think so. So we installed the 2nd seat. And I go inside, I 00:17:46.039 --> 00:17:50.526 call my nurse. I was like, Yo, I think my water broke. She said, OK, and 00:17:50.559 --> 00:17:54.006 she asked me some questions. I don't remember what they were. And then, 00:17:54.039 --> 00:17:59.166 but I do remember her saying, go to sleep. And I was like, you're crazy. 00:17:59.199 --> 00:18:05.976 I'm too excited. It is 11:30. At night, she says, you've been up all day. 00:18:06.009 --> 00:18:10.045 You need your sleep. I like, I'm wait it's like Christmas Eve. I cannot 00:18:10.078 --> 00:18:13.496 go to sleep. She said, whatever. Take your butt to bed. Call me later if 00:18:13.529 --> 00:18:17.456 anything changes. I said, I am gonna get in the shower cause I'm starting 00:18:17.489 --> 00:18:21.976 to feel it. So I sit on my ball, I get in the shower, I'm humming, you 00:18:22.009 --> 00:18:25.575 know, the little birthing moan sounds, you make the same noises getting it 00:18:25.608 --> 00:18:29.347 in as you do getting it out, so. 00:18:29.380 --> 00:18:34.387 I'm just moaning and. You know, it's getting more intense and I'm getting 00:18:34.420 --> 00:18:40.055 tired and. It's like, well, this isn't, this isn't what I thought it would 00:18:40.088 --> 00:18:45.575 be, but. OK, so I call her back later. She says, Well, meet me at the 00:18:45.608 --> 00:18:48.897 birth center at 1:30ish. 00:18:48.930 --> 00:18:51.295 Like 1:30. 00:18:51.328 --> 00:18:55.575 OK, so I try to lay down. I can't. I wake my husband up at one. I said, 00:18:55.608 --> 00:19:00.565 look, it's go time. I wanted to let you sleep as long as possible, but I 00:19:00.598 --> 00:19:03.585 wanted to give you time enough because it was like 6 minutes away from our 00:19:03.618 --> 00:19:06.406 apartment. I said, I wanted to give you time enough to shower if you 00:19:06.439 --> 00:19:09.686 wanted to pray, if you need to get your mind right, get your head in the 00:19:09.719 --> 00:19:13.045 game, whatever you have to do. And he looked at me and he said, I wondered 00:19:13.078 --> 00:19:15.726 what the hell was going on in there. Why are you making all those mating 00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:17.936 calls? 00:19:17.969 --> 00:19:24.456 And I said, Well, you know, I'm, I'm expanding, movements happening. We 00:19:24.489 --> 00:19:29.176 get up, there's not enough time to go to Waterburger. It's raining. I'm 00:19:29.209 --> 00:19:34.496 starving. I'm so disappointed. We go to the birth center, she's there, 00:19:34.529 --> 00:19:38.897 she's ready, and she looks at me and looking back she knew like, you are 00:19:38.930 --> 00:19:43.696 such a fool. Take your ass back home. It is not time. So she looks at me, 00:19:43.729 --> 00:19:48.035 she checks me out and she says, 00:19:48.068 --> 00:19:53.476 Yeah, you are a face, but you're only 1 centimeter. Like I'll break the 00:19:53.509 --> 00:19:58.045 rest of your water, but you got to go. And my husband, he's like set the 00:19:58.078 --> 00:20:02.696 mood, he's got his music going, he's laid out all this stuff like, and 00:20:02.729 --> 00:20:08.805 he's so disappointed. He is furious. Why can't we stay? Why can't, I said 00:20:08.838 --> 00:20:13.246 they cannot take us. It's like outpatient. I'm just not progressed enough 00:20:13.279 --> 00:20:15.857 for this, so let's just go home. I've already called my mother who's 00:20:15.890 --> 00:20:19.555 coming from Chandler to Central Phoenix. So I call her back. I said, 00:20:19.588 --> 00:20:23.476 they're not taking us. He calls his mom and says, just stay home, don't 00:20:23.509 --> 00:20:26.315 worry about it because it's Thursday night, people got to work on Friday. 00:20:26.348 --> 00:20:33.696 My mom's retired. So she comes anyway. She meets us at the apartment. And 00:20:33.729 --> 00:20:40.186 you know, we're just going through it and I'm laboring in things. I 00:20:40.219 --> 00:20:44.627 started getting tired because every contraction I had to be standing or 00:20:44.660 --> 00:20:51.107 walking. And now my legs are tired and I was like, I'm getting stressed 00:20:51.140 --> 00:20:54.946 out. I said, Somebody get me a glass of wine. My husband gets one of those 00:20:54.979 --> 00:21:01.585 big old like dollar store cups and fills it halfway with red wine and I 00:21:01.618 --> 00:21:07.117 just chug it. And I sit there and like, all right, I got relaxed enough 00:21:07.150 --> 00:21:14.236 for things to kick in the high gear. So after that, it was on. Like 00:21:14.269 --> 00:21:17.996 everything just changed. There was poop, there was blood. I had asked my 00:21:18.029 --> 00:21:21.637 husband before my mom got there to run me a bath. I was like, Well, maybe 00:21:21.670 --> 00:21:26.717 I can get in the bathtub. The plug was in the water. He's grossed out. I 00:21:26.750 --> 00:21:30.717 hate the water on my body. It hurts and you know I don't have a fancy tub 00:21:30.750 --> 00:21:36.476 . I have a raggedy ghetto apartment tub, so I can't really fit comfortably. 00:21:36.509 --> 00:21:39.756 It was awful and I'm screaming, Help me out, help me out. And he's like, 00:21:39.789 --> 00:21:45.607 the plugs in the water. I can't look. Awful. You mean the mucus? Yeah, it 00:21:45.640 --> 00:21:48.617 was it was in the water. 00:21:48.650 --> 00:21:55.075 He's so grossed out. So, but my mom gets there, I'm out of the tub and I 00:21:55.108 --> 00:22:01.335 have just a bikini top on. I'm all fours in our bedroom, and I'm sure this 00:22:01.368 --> 00:22:04.976 is forever burned in his memory and he would not touch me for five months 00:22:05.009 --> 00:22:10.736 after this thing. Well, You know, when the baby comes down, everything's 00:22:10.769 --> 00:22:15.976 got to come out. So I look, my mom's there, she's rubbing my back. I'm on 00:22:16.009 --> 00:22:22.526 all fours and I said, I gotta take a dump just like that. And she's like, 00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:27.926 well, dump. And so I'm like bearing down. I'm thinking I'm taking the 00:22:27.959 --> 00:22:33.726 bowel movement of the ages. I think I'm like a Tonka truck, dump truck, 00:22:33.759 --> 00:22:37.647 making it happen and I managed to look back and it's like this little 00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:45.637 bitty Hershey kids, like a sugar daddy and I was so disappointed. 00:22:45.670 --> 00:22:49.295 I was never more disappointed in anything I'd ever done than when I looked 00:22:49.328 --> 00:22:56.545 back at that little bitty mini turd for all the work. 00:22:56.578 --> 00:23:00.847 But I didn't have time to like delve into my emotions. I really had to get 00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:05.656 my head back in the game. So my mom's cleaning me. My husband is turning 00:23:05.689 --> 00:23:10.776 like all colors of green. He's like, You're taking a dump in our bedroom. 00:23:10.809 --> 00:23:15.887 All my Ralph Lauren towels. 00:23:15.920 --> 00:23:19.926 I cannot wait to make this part of my standup routine because it was 00:23:19.959 --> 00:23:27.035 hilarious. Anyhow, mom cleans up the poop and we're going, now I've, of 00:23:27.068 --> 00:23:32.426 course, I've lost track of all time. Time, space, energy, everything has 00:23:32.459 --> 00:23:36.637 just gone away. It's just me trying to figure out how this baby's getting 00:23:36.670 --> 00:23:42.137 out. And I I remember looking up at the clock and saying, why the hell 00:23:42.170 --> 00:23:47.016 haven't we called a nurse yet? I said, Where is a doula? My mom's acting 00:23:47.049 --> 00:23:50.196 as my doula. They're supposed to send a doula. They know I'm in labor. 00:23:50.229 --> 00:23:55.736 What's up? And I said, call the number on the fridge and dial 4 and we 00:23:55.769 --> 00:24:00.897 get the nurse and my husband, poor guy. I really did myself a disservice 00:24:00.930 --> 00:24:06.906 on making him be a part of this because he was totally. Not with it. He 00:24:06.939 --> 00:24:10.467 told me he didn't want to do it. I demanded it. Big marriage mistake. 00:24:10.500 --> 00:24:15.467 Listen to your husband. Lesson number 1,844. 00:24:15.500 --> 00:24:23.500 So, We call the nurse, they have a conversation. And basically, it's be at 00:24:26.000 --> 00:24:31.555 the the Center 00:24:31.588 --> 00:24:39.266 I guess it was meet me there in an hour. Which turned out to be, I don't 00:24:39.299 --> 00:24:45.166 know, 4-ish, 5-ish, I don't recall. Anyhow, I remember an hour because she 00:24:45.199 --> 00:24:49.686 was way out on the west side coming into Central Phoenix. So I'm just 00:24:49.719 --> 00:24:53.756 rocking it out like I'm just at the house, you know, throwing my body 00:24:53.789 --> 00:24:59.117 weight on my husband, and there was one moment where he said, um, I told 00:24:59.150 --> 00:25:03.967 him, I said, Help me breathe. Help me breathe. And he was like, You're 00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:07.367 breathing just fine. You're talking, you know, like no husband. That's not 00:25:07.400 --> 00:25:13.545 what I'm talking about. Breathe with me. And so I'm holding him with my 00:25:13.578 --> 00:25:18.075 arms over his shoulders. We're swaying back and forth and I was like, just 00:25:18.108 --> 00:25:21.976 breathe with me, just breathe with me. And so he's totally, I'm sure I 00:25:22.009 --> 00:25:29.206 reek of poo and birth and he's like totally being the the uber supportive 00:25:29.239 --> 00:25:34.736 husband as he's so grossed out. And I said, Tell me why I'm doing this. 00:25:34.769 --> 00:25:38.496 remind me why I'm not going to the hospital, why I don't need the drugs. 00:25:38.529 --> 00:25:42.256 He's like, because you're a fucking beast. That's why, like, you're the 00:25:42.289 --> 00:25:45.976 freaking man. Let's do this. You've got this. I'm like, you're right. And 00:25:46.009 --> 00:25:50.335 I like push away from him like, I'm having this baby, that's all I needed. 00:25:50.368 --> 00:25:55.397 And then it came time to leave the house. 00:25:55.430 --> 00:25:59.446 And my mom's like, OK, let's go. And I had this raggedy little sundress 00:25:59.479 --> 00:26:02.805 that it had a hole in it. That's why I chose to birth in it because it was 00:26:02.838 --> 00:26:07.815 on its way out. And she's helping me put on my dress and I said, I can't 00:26:07.848 --> 00:26:13.166 go. I cannot go. She's like, Whatever. Put your depends on and let's get 00:26:13.199 --> 00:26:16.986 this dress on and let's go. And as I'm pulling up my depends, I'm like, 00:26:17.019 --> 00:26:22.325 I'm not going to make it. She's coming. She's going to be here. Don't you 00:26:22.358 --> 00:26:27.006 we're not going to make it. It's 6 minutes with stop lights, and I'm 00:26:27.039 --> 00:26:30.986 telling them I'm not going to make it. My husband goes to get the Jeep and 00:26:31.019 --> 00:26:34.706 my mom's like tugging me along. Come on, we got to go. I'm not going to 00:26:34.739 --> 00:26:39.766 make it, mom. I sound like I'm 4. No, mom, it's not going to happen. She's 00:26:39.799 --> 00:26:44.045 like, Shut up. Where are your are your shoes? And I put my shoes on and 00:26:44.078 --> 00:26:48.656 said, I'm not going to make it. I'm not. And we start to leave and I said 00:26:48.689 --> 00:26:51.696 , wait, where are my glasses? She says, Of all the times to worry about 00:26:51.729 --> 00:26:55.936 your glasses, it's now. I said, Well, mom, I want to actually see my child 00:26:55.969 --> 00:27:00.575 because I cannot see without my glasses. So we get my glasses and we're 00:27:00.608 --> 00:27:04.936 walking up it's 3 steps up from our apartment up to the sidewalk and I'm 00:27:04.969 --> 00:27:10.097 still saying I'm not gonna make it. She's coming, she's coming. Oh, I 00:27:10.130 --> 00:27:13.897 missed a part. Back to when we're in the house, when I'm putting my shoes 00:27:13.930 --> 00:27:21.930 on, that was the ring of fire moment. And I was like, Oh, OK. Wow. I said 00:27:24.588 --> 00:27:28.717 , yeah, I'm not going to make it. Like, what just happened? I said, she's 00:27:28.750 --> 00:27:33.906 coming. Like she's totally coming. So then we get outside and she presents 00:27:33.939 --> 00:27:36.996 me to the Jeep. 00:27:37.029 --> 00:27:40.926 And I look at the Jeep and I'm having this moment like I never really 00:27:40.959 --> 00:27:44.996 figured out how I was going to get in this car while pregnant. This is why 00:27:45.029 --> 00:27:50.217 everybody said pregnancy car rides are the worst. So she's like, get in. 00:27:50.250 --> 00:27:54.686 I'm like, how? I don't know. I don't know how to maneuver this, how did 00:27:54.719 --> 00:27:59.256 this gut and this, no, I have on a diaper and there's a head coming out of 00:27:59.289 --> 00:28:04.746 my vagina. I totally can't figure this out. So she tells me to put my 00:28:04.779 --> 00:28:09.226 knees in the seat and hug the seat. I'm like, OK, and she I think she even 00:28:09.259 --> 00:28:13.065 put the seat belt on me, which is really awkward and weird, but isn't that 00:28:13.098 --> 00:28:19.196 what moms do? Safety first. So we're traveling in the hallway. I have my 00:28:19.229 --> 00:28:22.367 eyes closed and I'm hugging the seat. I'm telling my husband, she's coming 00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:27.107 , Dre, she's coming, she's coming. He's like, well just hold on. I'm like 00:28:27.140 --> 00:28:31.226 , no, that's not how this works. She's coming. Hold on, we're almost there. 00:28:31.259 --> 00:28:36.785 I said, we're not gonna make it. Like she's she's coming. I'm feeling her 00:28:36.818 --> 00:28:40.857 in my diaper. Like thank God for depends because I could not afford to 00:28:40.890 --> 00:28:48.890 detail that Jeep. So I'm all for depends during labor and We get there And 00:28:51.029 --> 00:28:56.647 I miraculously, it felt like I jumped out of the jeep and I'm standing 00:28:56.680 --> 00:29:01.526 there and I'm like, my baby is qui. 00:29:01.559 --> 00:29:04.526 And my husband looks at me like a puppy dog and kind of tilts his head to 00:29:04.559 --> 00:29:10.967 the side and says, Well, let's go. I said, And apparently my facial 00:29:11.000 --> 00:29:15.597 expression and body language informed him that I could not walk. So he 00:29:15.630 --> 00:29:21.206 scoops me up and he felt her head on his arm through the diaper. And my 00:29:21.239 --> 00:29:24.766 mom has since pulled up and got out of her car. He says, the baby's here, 00:29:24.799 --> 00:29:28.967 let's go. So she runs and opens the door to the birth center. My husband 00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:33.847 runs in with me behind her, and he drops me on this oversized beanbag 00:29:33.880 --> 00:29:40.736 chair. Now pause. When we took a tour of the birth center, my husband 00:29:40.769 --> 00:29:45.097 pointed at that that darn beanbag chair and asked if he could, where did 00:29:45.130 --> 00:29:49.176 they get one? You know, how, how did you get this? Where is it? And you're 00:29:49.209 --> 00:29:52.857 like, Oh, you get them at Costco. That's, you know, someone's had a baby 00:29:52.890 --> 00:29:56.496 on that. And he was like, Well, I don't want to sit on it now. He's like, 00:29:56.529 --> 00:30:01.847 no, we replace it, you know, and we toss the old ones. Well, guess who was 00:30:01.880 --> 00:30:07.676 born on the beanbag chair after one push? He drops me on the beanbag chair. 00:30:07.709 --> 00:30:13.436 The nurse is like floored by what has happened because it's only been 5.5 00:30:13.469 --> 00:30:19.246 hours since this began. She's like, What is going on? Like, the baby's 00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:25.226 coming. She rips off my diaper. She says, Oh God, um, one push. One push, 00:30:25.259 --> 00:30:30.647 baby's out. They're talking, oh, she's so beautiful. I'm like, newborn 00:30:30.680 --> 00:30:33.726 babies aren't beautiful. Oh, they're scary. They look like wet rats. But 00:30:33.759 --> 00:30:35.766 anyway, 00:30:35.799 --> 00:30:39.127 I'm asking, what time is it? What time is it? I want to know what time she 00:30:39.160 --> 00:30:42.686 was born. 5:10. 00:30:42.719 --> 00:30:45.065 5:10 00:30:45.098 --> 00:30:53.098 At 11 o'clock. I was grading papers. 5:10. I'm a mom. That's crazy. So 00:30:54.239 --> 00:31:00.246 she's out and my husband is. Unfortunately, my husband got the money shot 00:31:00.279 --> 00:31:03.887 from across the room because he dropped me on the beanbag chair and he 00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:10.026 went around and he looked back and got to see that whole knocked up shot 00:31:10.059 --> 00:31:14.325 from the movie. Yeah, I felt really bad for him because I'm sure every 00:31:14.358 --> 00:31:18.867 time he closed his eyes for the next 3 months, that was the vision. And um 00:31:18.900 --> 00:31:22.266 he was just over the moon. He didn't want to cut the cord. I cut it. That 00:31:22.299 --> 00:31:26.426 was pretty cool. And my daughter had an extra finger on her left hand. I 00:31:26.459 --> 00:31:33.097 have them on both hands, but she had one just on her left. And um he, he 00:31:33.130 --> 00:31:39.107 was holding her and my mom was with me. I couldn't deliver the placenta. 00:31:39.140 --> 00:31:43.117 It took me almost an hour, and if I, if I didn't get it out in an hour, 00:31:43.150 --> 00:31:46.597 they were gonna transfer me to the hospital. And the reason it didn't come 00:31:46.630 --> 00:31:49.637 out was because I was on that freaking beanbag chair. It's hard to get 00:31:49.670 --> 00:31:52.996 your bearings on that. So I'd gone in the other room and it still took a 00:31:53.029 --> 00:31:59.055 while. Then my body temperature dropped. I'm always cold. I'm, my hands 00:31:59.088 --> 00:32:04.406 are cold right now and my daughter, her body temperature wouldn't come up 00:32:04.439 --> 00:32:07.575 and you know, we're doing the whole skin to skin thing and I'm like, I'm 00:32:07.608 --> 00:32:12.766 cold, she's not going to warm up, whatever. And um Then she didn't want to 00:32:12.799 --> 00:32:20.285 latch. I should have known then. She's like me. I don't eat when I'm cold. 00:32:20.318 --> 00:32:24.357 It's not going to happen and she did not eat. She was like, screw that. 00:32:24.390 --> 00:32:29.996 I'm cool. I'm actually really cool. I'm just gonna chill here. And so then 00:32:30.029 --> 00:32:34.156 they, they had to like suck the stuff, the fluid out of her stomach to see 00:32:34.189 --> 00:32:38.516 if she'd eat. She still didn't eat. My husband, he was so exhausted. I 00:32:38.549 --> 00:32:43.756 felt awful for him. Like one thing I didn't take into account was how 00:32:43.789 --> 00:32:49.946 amazing I would feel after giving birth. I felt like the mother fucking 00:32:49.979 --> 00:32:55.506 man. Like I would tell anybody, how you feel? I feel awesome. 20 minutes 00:32:55.539 --> 00:33:00.246 after she was out, I told my husband. That was awesome. Let's do it again. 00:33:00.279 --> 00:33:05.676 And he's like, No. No, no. Did you see what happened? I saw everything. 00:33:05.709 --> 00:33:11.436 There was poop. There was blood. You're gross. Like, I saw your stretched 00:33:11.469 --> 00:33:14.756 out vagina. No. 00:33:14.789 --> 00:33:20.776 And um my mom, she was there. My mother-in-law and father-in-law, they 00:33:20.809 --> 00:33:25.045 came and everybody was just so amped and they're all having family time 00:33:25.078 --> 00:33:28.897 and I'm still like in the back like begging for food. Please someone give 00:33:28.930 --> 00:33:32.617 me pizza, and they did and it was the most delicious pizza I'd ever had in 00:33:32.650 --> 00:33:39.857 my life. But the problem was something was up with my reflexes. I don't 00:33:39.890 --> 00:33:45.446 remember what happened, but. I was hoping to be home in time to watch The 00:33:45.479 --> 00:33:50.835 View at 10. And I wasn't, and I was kind of disappointed, but I was home 00:33:50.868 --> 00:33:56.585 by one o'clock. 1:15, I was in my bed. I was on Facebook. I was like, hey 00:33:56.618 --> 00:34:01.107 everybody, the baby's here. Like, what? Where are you? It's like, I'm at 00:34:01.140 --> 00:34:06.585 the crib. I'm chilling. Like all is well in the world. And it was, it was 00:34:06.618 --> 00:34:13.066 an amazing birth. I really felt great. Unfortunately, the following day, 00:34:13.099 --> 00:34:17.666 you have the checkup with the baby and we took her to the nurse and. She 00:34:17.699 --> 00:34:21.026 still wasn't latching. She still wasn't eating. We had tried formula that 00:34:21.059 --> 00:34:25.095 night. I tried pumping. She wouldn't latch onto anything. She wouldn't eat 00:34:25.128 --> 00:34:30.017 anything. Long story short, they ended up calling an ambulance to the 00:34:30.050 --> 00:34:35.126 birth center to take us to Phoenix Children's and that was the most 00:34:35.159 --> 00:34:38.416 ridiculous thing I've ever had to do, because there was nothing wrong with 00:34:38.449 --> 00:34:40.695 this kid. 00:34:40.728 --> 00:34:46.287 It ended up costing us $1500 because she was lazy. I'm like, well, she's 00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:52.686 my kid. I'm kind of lazy too sometimes, especially in a new situation. And 00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:58.885 you know, she was fine and it was so funny because you know I was 34, my 00:34:58.918 --> 00:35:01.896 husband was 35. 00:35:01.929 --> 00:35:06.287 And we're we're in the NICU with this itty bitty baby and all of the 00:35:06.320 --> 00:35:10.445 nurses are like, OK, this is what's going on. You know they're asking us 00:35:10.478 --> 00:35:14.967 all of these questions and we're cool. Like, do your job. You went to 00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:19.276 school for this, you do it every day. Do your job. You guys are so laid 00:35:19.309 --> 00:35:22.376 back. I said, there is nothing wrong with my child. I said, I'm gonna tell 00:35:22.409 --> 00:35:25.497 you like the little old lady saying this out. Ain't nothing wrong with 00:35:25.530 --> 00:35:30.385 that baby. She just got a lazy tongue, which was exactly what it was. She 00:35:30.418 --> 00:35:34.876 just didn't feel like eating. And two days later when we were released, he 00:35:34.909 --> 00:35:39.626 said. You are absolutely right. She just had a lazy tongue. She just 00:35:39.659 --> 00:35:47.497 didn't want to do it. I said, I know. $1500 later. Mom knows best. But we 00:35:47.530 --> 00:35:51.135 learned a lot. We got a whole bunch of free bottles and you know, I got to 00:35:51.168 --> 00:35:55.017 see a lactation consultant because no one tells you that flat nipples are 00:35:55.050 --> 00:35:59.126 an issue. Yeah, I didn't realize I had flat nipples because I don't go 00:35:59.159 --> 00:36:03.456 around looking at nipples all day. I don't look at like, oh, can I see 00:36:03.489 --> 00:36:07.615 your nips? No one says that. So, and no one told me that breastfeeding 00:36:07.648 --> 00:36:11.695 would be an issue with flat nipples. Now I know. They're no longer flat. 00:36:11.728 --> 00:36:17.896 Thank you, Ahein. So it was, but it was a great experience. We took her 00:36:17.929 --> 00:36:21.967 to church. She was born on Friday. We took her to church on Tuesday. We 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:27.506 walked Steel Indian Park on Friday. People are like, oh, that baby is so 00:36:27.539 --> 00:36:32.586 small. How old is she? She's 6 days old. Oh my God, you look at, I had on 00:36:32.619 --> 00:36:36.997 the pants I'm wearing today, like, yeah, I was wearing jeans and she was 2 00:36:37.030 --> 00:36:40.856 days older, 2 days old. 00:36:40.889 --> 00:36:44.936 I rocked that whole pregnancy labor birth thing. I did. Praise Jehovah 00:36:44.969 --> 00:36:50.517 Jirah. Like that was awesome. I hope the next one goes as smoothly. 00:36:50.550 --> 00:36:55.517 I think that is the perfect ending. I do want to ask you a couple of 00:36:55.550 --> 00:37:01.276 things though. So when you were pregnant and you were having the trouble 00:37:01.309 --> 00:37:05.276 in your marriage, do you think part of it was was the trying to get 00:37:05.309 --> 00:37:08.635 pregnant part? Because Eric and I tried, it was like 6 months and it was 00:37:08.668 --> 00:37:14.486 causing us stress in our marriage. Um, I think it was that I wasn't 00:37:14.519 --> 00:37:19.566 working and bringing in money. Yeah, that'll do it right. 00:37:19.599 --> 00:37:26.356 You know, we are who we are. You know we can be jerks to one another. And 00:37:26.389 --> 00:37:32.436 he was especially bitter because I hadn't passed the bar and I wasn't 00:37:32.469 --> 00:37:36.956 working and I was like, Well, you're just a jerk. I can't deal with you 00:37:36.989 --> 00:37:42.195 right now. So um and then after you told him you were pregnant, did the 00:37:42.228 --> 00:37:47.396 relationship get better soon after that? Not exactly. It took a few months. 00:37:47.429 --> 00:37:52.586 It's like we're in this now. We can't just shake hands and leave. There's 00:37:52.619 --> 00:37:57.706 another person involved. So, and he's told me, he said if she came at the 00:37:57.739 --> 00:38:03.486 perfect time because I was ready to bail. That's amazing. Yeah. He's like 00:38:03.519 --> 00:38:07.606 , I was ready to say goodbye to this. I just couldn't do it anymore. Now 00:38:07.639 --> 00:38:13.126 she's here and you know, no offense, but it's cheaper to keep her. And I 00:38:13.159 --> 00:38:21.159 said, Well, I, I guess I agree, you know. I suppose, um, and she must have 00:38:22.619 --> 00:38:26.307 you know brightened up your lives and kind of brought you together as 00:38:26.340 --> 00:38:29.626 people. I mean it either brings you together or tears you apart. I think 00:38:29.659 --> 00:38:35.307 having a kid, you had so many complications to your life. Yes, lot of joy. 00:38:35.340 --> 00:38:41.186 That's true, and I've heard so many other women say how the child ruined 00:38:41.219 --> 00:38:47.456 their marriage. And that's just not our story. Like we've become a better 00:38:47.489 --> 00:38:52.635 husband and wife. We've become a better team because of her. And I, I tell 00:38:52.668 --> 00:38:56.537 people all the time, I wish I'd had her sooner. Because that would have 00:38:56.570 --> 00:39:00.655 cut back on all the crazy arguments and fights and holes in walls and all 00:39:00.688 --> 00:39:04.557 the other stupid stuff you can't take back. All that wouldn't have 00:39:04.590 --> 00:39:09.316 happened, or it's not as much, because you know we're human. We get 00:39:09.349 --> 00:39:15.467 frustrated, we get disappointed and now you have this person. Mimicking 00:39:15.500 --> 00:39:22.307 you and watching what you do and believing that if you don't love him or 00:39:22.340 --> 00:39:26.345 you don't love her, then you probably don't love me because that's who I'm 00:39:26.378 --> 00:39:32.967 from. I am her. I am him. So it really causes you to step back and look at 00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:37.727 it and us being believers, you know, we love God, we are, we believe His 00:39:37.760 --> 00:39:40.736 word. It really 00:39:40.769 --> 00:39:45.336 Drives home how God sees us. When you see a child, when you see your own 00:39:45.369 --> 00:39:50.086 child. And you know that you would move heaven and earth, you would go 00:39:50.119 --> 00:39:54.925 through hell and high water, you would, you know, you know, I'll cut a 00:39:54.958 --> 00:39:58.916 bitch behind my kid, you know, that kind of thing. Like, wow, that's what 00:39:58.949 --> 00:40:04.945 God thinks about me. No matter how unruly my child is, I will still, I 00:40:04.978 --> 00:40:11.666 will burn the city down behind her. I will go to jail behind you and It's 00:40:11.699 --> 00:40:18.385 hard not to say, Well, maybe God loves me that much or more. And it just, 00:40:18.418 --> 00:40:21.546 it just brings things back into perspective, like the little things she 00:40:21.579 --> 00:40:25.307 does. I'm like, can't get too mad at that because I do the exact same 00:40:25.340 --> 00:40:29.467 thing. Shoot, I need to get my life together. What is wrong with me? I 00:40:29.500 --> 00:40:34.405 need to find a therapist's phone number right now. So. I absolutely agree 00:40:34.438 --> 00:40:39.146 with that, but you do have patience because you do see yourself in them. I 00:40:39.179 --> 00:40:43.925 mean, just little things, irritating habits. Oh my goodness. Yes, that's 00:40:43.958 --> 00:40:47.445 funny. Well, great. I think that we're good. I'm going to go ahead and 00:40:47.478 --> 00:40:49.639 turn off.