WEBVTT 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:05.596 This is for Solis interviewing for Creative Push on December 19, 2016 at 00:00:05.629 --> 00:00:10.566 10:17. Can you say your name and your age? My name's Tanya Senna and I'm 00:00:10.599 --> 00:00:13.566 28 years old. Excellent. Do you feel comfortable in that chair? Do you 00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:17.166 want me to scooch it for you? Maybe a little more back. I don't think it 00:00:17.199 --> 00:00:24.666 goes back. No, because the heater, it's fine. OK. Um, OK, so let's start 00:00:24.699 --> 00:00:27.625 from the beginning. Well, maybe tell us what you were telling us about 00:00:27.658 --> 00:00:30.306 being born and raised here and stuff for us that kind of like sets the 00:00:30.339 --> 00:00:35.625 scene. OK. Yeah, um, my grandparents, actually my nana's from a small town 00:00:35.658 --> 00:00:40.585 up north called Home in New Mexico. It's connected Mora. It's a very small 00:00:40.618 --> 00:00:46.335 town and I think my grandpa is from there. He was born there and then he 00:00:46.368 --> 00:00:51.375 moved somewhere else, which is in between Chimayo and Espanola. 00:00:51.408 --> 00:00:55.945 And they were together for 3 years before they got married. They have 5 00:00:55.978 --> 00:01:01.146 kids. My mom's the baby. Um, my grandpa on my dad's side is originally 00:01:01.179 --> 00:01:05.786 from Arizona, but both my parents met here, live here, and I've been here 00:01:05.819 --> 00:01:10.546 my whole life. You do have an accent, a local. That's what everybody says 00:01:10.579 --> 00:01:14.846 , but you know we don't hear it. I guess maybe if we went somewhere else 00:01:14.879 --> 00:01:18.126 we could tell and I could tell anybody else from here that they're not 00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:22.007 from here because their accent and everybody say that you know Hispanics 00:01:22.040 --> 00:01:26.766 here we say things different even our Spanish is different compared to 00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:32.906 people from Mexico. Our Spanish is from Spain, so it's kind of like. 00:01:32.939 --> 00:01:38.147 Italian, Spanish mixed together. So things in our language is something 00:01:38.180 --> 00:01:42.257 completely different from the language in Mexico. So do you speak Spanish 00:01:42.290 --> 00:01:48.036 ? Not really. I understand most of it. I could say some things, but my 00:01:48.069 --> 00:01:52.665 parents and my grandparents are teaching my kids Spanish. That way they'll 00:01:52.698 --> 00:01:56.227 know. That way they'll grow up speaking it because my great grandpa used 00:01:56.260 --> 00:01:59.665 to tell me, I don't know what you're saying, tell me in Spanish. So we're 00:01:59.698 --> 00:02:03.147 just like, well, if you guys don't teach it, then we don't say it. So we 00:02:03.180 --> 00:02:06.986 never learned. My cousins and I, we don't know. But it comes, our 00:02:07.019 --> 00:02:10.707 grandparents, our parents, they all speak fluent Spanish and fluent 00:02:10.740 --> 00:02:15.745 English. We just never really picked up the Spanish. OK, so maybe take us 00:02:15.778 --> 00:02:19.005 back to the conception of your first birth. Was it planned? Was it? Mikey 00:02:19.038 --> 00:02:22.946 , what's planned? We planned him. We were together 3 years before we had 00:02:22.979 --> 00:02:28.085 him. We were together for about a year and a half. About a year and a half 00:02:28.118 --> 00:02:32.856 when we decided that we wanted kids. Our relationship was just totally 00:02:32.889 --> 00:02:37.737 different from a relationship that either one of us have ever had. And 00:02:37.770 --> 00:02:41.936 just the way we bond and clicked, and what's weird is that their dad's 00:02:41.969 --> 00:02:47.427 name is Mike. So Mike's sister, Jennifer dated my cousin Anthony for 7 00:02:47.460 --> 00:02:52.827 years and we never met. In that 7 years we had never met. So it was weird 00:02:52.860 --> 00:02:56.505 that we met and then he's like, This is my family. I'm like, Really? My 00:02:56.538 --> 00:03:00.386 cousin was engaged to your sister? And he's like, No way. So it was just 00:03:00.419 --> 00:03:04.055 so weird that we met when we met and that our families already knew each 00:03:04.088 --> 00:03:08.946 other. So it's just crazy and we just felt a certain way and decided we 00:03:08.979 --> 00:03:14.467 wanted to have kids, that we just wanted to build a life together. So it 00:03:14.500 --> 00:03:19.616 took us a miscarriage. And then when I said I didn't want anymore, I 00:03:19.649 --> 00:03:22.906 didn't want to go through that anymore. It hurt me more than I think it 00:03:22.939 --> 00:03:26.505 hurt anybody else. I'm the one going through it. So I told him that I 00:03:26.538 --> 00:03:29.866 didn't want to try anymore. And once we stopped trying, I found out I was 00:03:29.899 --> 00:03:34.707 pregnant with Mikey. I was 7 weeks pregnant when I found out. How far 00:03:34.740 --> 00:03:38.827 along was the miscarriage before that happened? I was only, I think, 8 00:03:38.860 --> 00:03:44.457 weeks, 9 weeks, somewhere around there. So, but it was constantly trying, 00:03:44.490 --> 00:03:49.177 trying ovulation tests, pregnancy tests. My closet was stocked. So it was 00:03:49.210 --> 00:03:54.856 that kind of weird crazy trying and I just got sick of it. It was just 00:03:54.889 --> 00:03:58.616 tiring. It just took a toll and then you go through all that work and then 00:03:58.649 --> 00:04:02.457 that happens and it's just so devastating and you're just thinking this is 00:04:02.490 --> 00:04:06.656 never going to happen. I try and I try and I try and it's just not going 00:04:06.689 --> 00:04:11.047 to happen. I'm not meant to have kids. If I was, that wouldn't have 00:04:11.080 --> 00:04:14.967 happened, even though he said things happen for reasons, which I do 00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:18.567 believe now because I don't think I would have had Mikey. Mikey wouldn't 00:04:18.600 --> 00:04:24.166 be who he is. So you were 7 weeks and then what happened? I was 7 weeks. I 00:04:24.199 --> 00:04:29.404 was sick my whole pregnancy. I lost weight during my pregnancy. Um, and 00:04:29.437 --> 00:04:32.606 then I just started getting sick all the time and then other things 00:04:32.639 --> 00:04:35.964 started happening when I started going to the doctor's towards the end, my 00:04:35.997 --> 00:04:39.964 blood pressures were really high, so I had to do this whole urine test for 00:04:39.997 --> 00:04:44.257 them. I don't know if you know, do you know how to do it? They make you 00:04:44.290 --> 00:04:47.387 check, they give you some stuff to drink, and they give you a container, 00:04:47.420 --> 00:04:51.197 and you collect your pee for 24 hours and you have to keep the container 00:04:51.230 --> 00:04:55.906 in the refrigerator. Yeah, it was really nasty. It was gross. I was like, 00:04:55.939 --> 00:05:00.546 I'm never using that shelf again. And so we had to collect it for 24 hours. 00:05:00.579 --> 00:05:06.666 I took it back to my doctor and she spilled it, so she only did half a 00:05:06.699 --> 00:05:12.067 test and there was traces of preeclampsia in the test, but she didn't 00:05:12.100 --> 00:05:15.947 treat me for preeclampsia because she didn't have all the urine and she 00:05:15.980 --> 00:05:20.015 wasn't going to make me do it again. Were you having symptoms at that 00:05:20.048 --> 00:05:23.495 point that were concerning like dizziness or my blood pressure was just 00:05:23.528 --> 00:05:28.416 always constantly high, but she, when she had told me, she told me that 00:05:28.449 --> 00:05:31.976 she just thought it was because it was towards the end of my pregnancy and 00:05:32.009 --> 00:05:35.257 I was getting nervous and that's why my blood pressure was always high, 00:05:35.290 --> 00:05:39.697 that there could be reasons for that. That's not exactly preeclampsia 00:05:39.730 --> 00:05:45.395 because nobody in my family had ever suffered from preeclampsia before. So 00:05:45.428 --> 00:05:48.555 I didn't know and she said that she didn't think it was anything to be 00:05:48.588 --> 00:05:52.836 alarming because the traces were small and because I hadn't had high blood 00:05:52.869 --> 00:05:56.916 pressure through my whole pregnancy. And she said usually women that have 00:05:56.949 --> 00:06:01.317 preeclampsia show signs from the beginning of their pregnancy and because 00:06:01.350 --> 00:06:07.217 I didn't, she didn't treat me. So. So then what happened? So then I went 00:06:07.250 --> 00:06:13.387 into labor with Mikey. I was at 3 centimeters for a week. I, I just 00:06:13.420 --> 00:06:16.007 started feeling it. I went to the hospital. They're like, You're at 3 00:06:16.040 --> 00:06:21.947 centimeters. They kept me there for like 2 hours. nothing had changed. So 00:06:21.980 --> 00:06:26.447 they sent me home. I was like that for a whole week. Just walking around 3 00:06:26.480 --> 00:06:30.426 centimeters. They're like, stay walking, stay walking. It'll progress 00:06:30.459 --> 00:06:35.026 things. You'll go, it'll be fast. I think those are old wives' tales, I 00:06:35.059 --> 00:06:39.627 guess, because I walked and walked and he wasn't here. His due date was 00:06:39.660 --> 00:06:46.705 September 14, 2010. So I had my last doctor's appointment September 15th, 00:06:46.738 --> 00:06:50.866 and they saw that my fluid was low through one of my ultrasounds. So like 00:06:50.899 --> 00:06:54.745 we're gonna send you to the hospital, we're gonna induce you. She's like, 00:06:54.778 --> 00:06:58.346 so just head right on over there, which Dr. Van Ek's office was right 00:06:58.379 --> 00:07:03.106 across the street from the hospital. So it was really fast. I checked in. 00:07:03.139 --> 00:07:07.467 It was about 3 o'clock and they didn't induce me till about 8 o'clock at 00:07:07.500 --> 00:07:12.416 night on the 15th. And later on in the evening, it was probably around 11 00:07:12.449 --> 00:07:17.937 , 11:30, somewhere around there, I asked for the epidural. Because the 00:07:17.970 --> 00:07:23.296 pain medicines they gave me weren't helping anymore. So I got the epidural. 00:07:23.329 --> 00:07:26.895 After a while, I told them that my whole right side was numb, but I could 00:07:26.928 --> 00:07:31.137 feel on my left side, everything, everything on my left. And she said that 00:07:31.170 --> 00:07:34.176 it was just supposed to numb me from the waist down on my right, and I was 00:07:34.209 --> 00:07:38.325 like, I could feel my left. She was just out of school, so I was like Can 00:07:38.358 --> 00:07:41.325 I have someone else, someone that has more experience? Like I don't mean 00:07:41.358 --> 00:07:45.805 to be rude, but I really want someone else. Oh, there's nobody else. I'm 00:07:45.838 --> 00:07:49.687 the only one here. I'm sorry. We told her throughout the night. She just 00:07:49.720 --> 00:07:53.526 said the same thing. It takes a while. Everybody's body is different. It's 00:07:53.559 --> 00:07:57.046 not going to happen. She said that she knew everything because everything 00:07:57.079 --> 00:08:01.046 was fresh out of her mind, but I think sometimes it still takes experience 00:08:01.079 --> 00:08:05.356 , not just books or what you've learned in school. So my doctor came in, 00:08:05.389 --> 00:08:09.877 it was probably about 9:30 in the morning on the September 16th, and my 00:08:09.910 --> 00:08:13.955 doctor came in. Mike had told Doctor Vinica what was going on, what we 00:08:13.988 --> 00:08:16.926 told the nurse. She said the nurse should have called her and she would 00:08:16.959 --> 00:08:22.476 have come in. And since I really wasn't progressing anymore, I was at 5 00:08:22.509 --> 00:08:28.776 centimeters from being at 3 a week to 5 centimeters wasn't really nothing. 00:08:28.809 --> 00:08:31.976 So she said that they were afraid that it was a brain hemorrhage because 00:08:32.009 --> 00:08:36.976 my left eye was really droopy. My whole left side, my leg and my arm, my 00:08:37.009 --> 00:08:41.736 hand was just twitching, like constantly shaking. So she said that she was 00:08:41.769 --> 00:08:45.217 going to do emergency C-section because she was afraid that I was having a 00:08:45.250 --> 00:08:50.456 brain hemorrhage because the rest of my body wasn't convulsing. So she 00:08:50.489 --> 00:08:54.635 thought it was a brain hemorrhage. So they called in. Well, of course Mike 00:08:54.668 --> 00:08:58.557 was there and my mom was there, and they asked my mom if they could only 00:08:58.590 --> 00:09:02.946 save one of us if it is a brain hemorrhage, which the surgery could cause 00:09:02.979 --> 00:09:06.836 a lot of complications, more than what there was, and they could only save 00:09:06.869 --> 00:09:11.515 one of us, who would they want her to save? And she's like, Of course, my 00:09:11.548 --> 00:09:15.236 daughter, they could try to have more kids or if they don't, you can't 00:09:15.269 --> 00:09:21.427 replace my daughter. So I'm like, No, the baby, you know, I'm a mom. Save 00:09:21.460 --> 00:09:25.787 my kid. I don't want to bury my kid. He was full term. That's all that was 00:09:25.820 --> 00:09:28.246 going in my mind, that I was going to have to bury my kid because of what 00:09:28.279 --> 00:09:33.486 she was saying. So my family is Catholic. I think most most New Mexicans, 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:37.446 most with the Hispanic culture are Catholic. Well, they were born and 00:09:37.479 --> 00:09:40.726 raised that way, went to Catholic schools. So they brought the priest 00:09:40.759 --> 00:09:45.206 that's in the hospital to my room. He read me my last rites. My 00:09:45.239 --> 00:09:49.446 grandfather and my grandmother really felt that that was important for 00:09:49.479 --> 00:09:53.696 whatever I've done, and because I had a child out of wedlock to read me my 00:09:53.729 --> 00:09:58.096 last rites so I could be saved and go to heaven or whatever. So they read 00:09:58.129 --> 00:10:02.486 me my last rites. Everybody was calling my uncles. His mom came, his 00:10:02.519 --> 00:10:07.586 sister came, his dad came. My whole family, I have a huge family. I have 4 00:10:07.619 --> 00:10:11.657 uncles and aunties, you know. So everybody came to the hospital, everybody 00:10:11.690 --> 00:10:15.375 was crying, which made me panic more. And when I went in for the C-section 00:10:15.408 --> 00:10:21.696 , they um when they started to cut me open, I could feel it. And she just 00:10:21.729 --> 00:10:25.326 said that you might feel pressure. I could feel them literally cutting my 00:10:25.359 --> 00:10:30.677 skin. I could feel each, you know, when they're cutting through it each. 00:10:30.710 --> 00:10:35.177 Little thing So they upped me with morphine. They stopped and they shot 00:10:35.210 --> 00:10:38.537 me up with morphine right away and it numbed everything and I was just so 00:10:38.570 --> 00:10:43.576 out of it that I remember hearing him cry. I remember seeing him, i got 00:10:43.609 --> 00:10:48.307 him and held him. Um, I remember seeing Mike when they're weighing him, 00:10:48.340 --> 00:10:52.746 and from that part, I guess I dozed off. Mike brought him to me. They made 00:10:52.779 --> 00:10:57.346 him take him and that was it. And then I woke up in one of those huge 00:10:57.379 --> 00:11:01.496 tubes. They were doing an MRI and I woke up freaking out. I'm 00:11:01.529 --> 00:11:05.106 claustrophobic to begin with and I'm stuck in there. I don't even know 00:11:05.139 --> 00:11:07.467 what's going on. They didn't tell me they're doing the test. They're just 00:11:07.500 --> 00:11:11.385 going off what my mom says because I wasn't married, so my mom can make 00:11:11.418 --> 00:11:16.417 medical decisions, I guess. So they did the MRI. I freaked out. I wanted 00:11:16.450 --> 00:11:20.696 to get out. I didn't have a brain hemorrhage. I had a seizure. I had a 00:11:20.729 --> 00:11:25.015 seizure from the pre-eclampsia. That's why my body was doing that. That's 00:11:25.048 --> 00:11:28.456 why I was shaking, and they don't know why the rest of my body wasn't 00:11:28.489 --> 00:11:32.775 convulsing like you do with the seizure, but that's why my left arm, my 00:11:32.808 --> 00:11:37.946 left hand, my arm, my leg was twitching. And that's why my left eye was 00:11:37.979 --> 00:11:42.467 droopy, because they don't know how long I had the seizure. If it was 00:11:42.500 --> 00:11:46.986 multiple seizures. They don't know if it was multiple or it was one big 00:11:47.019 --> 00:11:51.667 one. They didn't know because nobody knew, so they would never know. So 00:11:51.700 --> 00:11:55.186 they put me on medication for seizures because I've never had them before 00:11:55.219 --> 00:11:58.586 and she just wanted to make sure after I had my key that I wouldn't have 00:11:58.619 --> 00:12:02.625 any more seizures because they didn't catch it. She was afraid that I was 00:12:02.658 --> 00:12:07.116 going to continue to have them. So I didn't get a hold of Mikey for the 00:12:07.149 --> 00:12:12.157 1st 12 hours of his life. I wasn't allowed to. I was so out of it with the 00:12:12.190 --> 00:12:16.236 morphine. I was crying because he wouldn't let me see him, but then I was 00:12:16.269 --> 00:12:20.076 falling asleep. My mom said that it just looked awful. My head was just 00:12:20.109 --> 00:12:25.096 hanging and I was just asleep. So it was awful and they put me in the ICU 00:12:25.129 --> 00:12:28.736 and they wanted to split us. So they said that the only way that I could 00:12:28.769 --> 00:12:34.196 be in the same room, in my regular room with Mikey is if I allow no 00:12:34.229 --> 00:12:38.726 visitors, just Mike, Mikey and myself. So I said, of course, I'm going to 00:12:38.759 --> 00:12:41.395 kick everybody out because I want to be with my son. This is my first 00:12:41.428 --> 00:12:46.895 child. I've worked hard for him, you know, 3 years. So everybody was still 00:12:46.928 --> 00:12:50.287 freaking out. My brother freaked out because he worked at the prison. all 00:12:50.320 --> 00:12:55.246 he got was a message hours later after this because he was born at 10:33 00:12:55.279 --> 00:13:00.537 in September 16th. So this was probably like at 8 o'clock at night. He's 00:13:00.570 --> 00:13:04.177 running to the hospital, freaking out. That I died. He didn't know because 00:13:04.210 --> 00:13:06.557 no one was answering the phone, and I guess people forgot to call and tell 00:13:06.590 --> 00:13:12.706 him what happened. So, I was just irritated. I was bugged. I was really 00:13:12.739 --> 00:13:17.275 angry. I guess I could have sued the doctor in the hospitals, but it's all 00:13:17.308 --> 00:13:20.836 I cared was that my son was OK. That's all that meant. It never mattered 00:13:20.869 --> 00:13:26.456 to me at that time. So he, he's a good baby. He was a good baby. Were you 00:13:26.489 --> 00:13:30.976 able to nurse after all of that trauma? I was able to nurish. They don't 00:13:31.009 --> 00:13:36.616 let me nourish for the 1st 48 hours, which are the most important hours, 00:13:36.649 --> 00:13:41.236 but they didn't let me because I had the morphine in my body. So I wasn't 00:13:41.269 --> 00:13:45.596 able to. And then I started nursing and he latched on right away. He was 00:13:45.629 --> 00:13:49.996 perfectly fine. Because when I was pregnant, everybody's like, You don't 00:13:50.029 --> 00:13:52.515 want to nurse your baby. What are you going to do if he's hungry in public 00:13:52.548 --> 00:13:56.875 ? You know my family felt that you shouldn't expose yourself in public. 00:13:56.908 --> 00:14:00.856 That's not something that shouldn't be out there. And I'm like, I've done 00:14:00.889 --> 00:14:04.537 research. They've told me at my doctor's, they've told me at Wick that 00:14:04.570 --> 00:14:07.616 this is the most important thing, that this is the healthiest, and I want 00:14:07.649 --> 00:14:11.746 to do it. If I'm comfortable with my body and myself to nurse, and it's 00:14:11.779 --> 00:14:15.672 going to be the best way for my son to get nutrition. Or anything like 00:14:15.705 --> 00:14:20.542 that, I want to breastfeed. And I did. I learned everything. I got breast 00:14:20.575 --> 00:14:26.592 pumps. I asked questions. Wick gave me DVDs. They took, well, you can't 00:14:26.625 --> 00:14:30.672 really take a class, but you kind of sit in a class and they teach you and 00:14:30.705 --> 00:14:35.111 so it was really easy. He launched on and I think it's because a lot of 00:14:35.144 --> 00:14:39.231 people are told what I was told, so they might not know or they might be 00:14:39.264 --> 00:14:45.037 embarrassed too. And I'm like they sell things to cover. My mother-in-law 00:14:45.070 --> 00:14:48.736 actually made me a cover, even though they sound like at Walmart, Target, 00:14:48.769 --> 00:14:53.096 she made me a cover so I could nurse him. But I had to nurse and bottle 00:14:53.129 --> 00:14:58.486 feed because he had thrush for a while. And you know what thrush is? It's 00:14:58.519 --> 00:15:02.047 when they, when the mother has like a yeast infection or something, and 00:15:02.080 --> 00:15:07.316 when he was born, I guess I had a yeast infection and I didn't know, so he 00:15:07.349 --> 00:15:11.967 got it in his mouth. So there was bumps inside his mouth and it made it 00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:16.366 hard, so I had to use a bottle while he had thrush. That way it was a fast 00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:21.486 flow. And he didn't have to suck to get it. It would just come out. So I 00:15:21.519 --> 00:15:25.927 did that and I nursed him up until he was a year, and he was easy to ming 00:15:25.960 --> 00:15:31.476 off. I didn't have issues at all. He walked when he was 9 months. He was 5 00:15:31.509 --> 00:15:39.509 pounds 6 ounces, 19 inches. And now he's 6 years old and 48 pounds. So, 00:15:40.989 --> 00:15:46.217 Transition us to the to the 2nd. So with all of that that happened, that's 00:15:46.250 --> 00:15:49.057 not something you want to experience again and you don't know what the 00:15:49.090 --> 00:15:52.217 heck this doctor's going to do or what any other doctors going to do. So I 00:15:52.250 --> 00:15:55.696 decided I had one kid and I'm not going through this again. I'm not 00:15:55.729 --> 00:16:00.856 putting my family through it. So I was happy with my son. So I went to my 00:16:00.889 --> 00:16:06.486 doctor to get birth control and she was explaining the IUD, there's Mirena. 00:16:06.519 --> 00:16:10.356 And I told her with me, I need something hormonal free, especially 00:16:10.389 --> 00:16:13.677 because I was breastfeeding and because I don't want to deal with the 00:16:13.710 --> 00:16:20.557 hormones. And so she told me it's called Perraguard and it's the IUD. It's 00:16:20.590 --> 00:16:25.956 a copper one and it's supposed to be good for 10 years. So I got it 3 00:16:25.989 --> 00:16:33.616 months after he was born. I didn't think anything of it. I kept it. Um, I 00:16:33.649 --> 00:16:38.196 just started feeling weird. Well, before I felt weird, I would feel like 00:16:38.229 --> 00:16:41.946 butterflies, like you feel a baby moving and you don't know that feeling 00:16:41.979 --> 00:16:45.557 until there's actually a baby in there. So everybody's like, maybe you 00:16:45.590 --> 00:16:48.706 know deep down you still want a baby, even though you're trying to have 00:16:48.739 --> 00:16:53.316 this tough exterior. Well, yeah, of course, but I've learned to be happy 00:16:53.349 --> 00:16:58.667 with what I have. Everybody wants kids. Anybody wants more kids, but I had 00:16:58.700 --> 00:17:02.706 one and I should be grateful for that. So maybe I did kind of bury it, 00:17:02.739 --> 00:17:06.877 that that was just not an option anymore. And everybody was like, Maybe 00:17:06.910 --> 00:17:11.867 it's gas. My mom's like, I feel that. I'm in my 40s and I still feel it. 00:17:11.900 --> 00:17:15.147 She goes, and there's no way I could be pregnant. I went to the doctor and 00:17:15.180 --> 00:17:19.857 I told them, they said it was gas, that it was just gas bubbles, and on 00:17:19.890 --> 00:17:23.545 the Paraguard, you don't get your menstrual cycle, so you don't know if 00:17:23.578 --> 00:17:30.367 it's missed or not. So, um, it was, she was born on the 1st, so September 00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:36.887 31st. Well, technically October 1st, it was midnight and I was just, you 00:17:36.920 --> 00:17:41.176 know, really hurting. I had these really bad cramps and I had him to an 00:17:41.209 --> 00:17:46.986 extent with Mikey, but not like this. I had him, they stopped. I stayed at 00:17:47.019 --> 00:17:51.676 3 centimeters, so I didn't really experience anything. I was induced, got 00:17:51.709 --> 00:17:57.186 epidural. I didn't really experience a lot of pain. So I was having really 00:17:57.219 --> 00:18:01.946 bad pains, bad cramps, and I couldn't sleep and I was able to sleep and 00:18:01.979 --> 00:18:06.107 then I'd wake up with the pains. All through the day. I was feeling the 00:18:06.140 --> 00:18:11.305 pain. I was walking because it seemed to soothe it. I just wanted it to 00:18:11.338 --> 00:18:14.785 stop. It got to the point where I couldn't walk. My sister had to help me 00:18:14.818 --> 00:18:19.055 walk. And she's like, maybe if you get in a hot bath, it might help 00:18:19.088 --> 00:18:23.217 whatever is going on. Like relax your muscles or whatever, she goes in. 00:18:23.250 --> 00:18:26.137 Maybe it's your menstrual cycle. You haven't had it in so long that maybe 00:18:26.170 --> 00:18:29.016 it's just coming, and that's why you can't deal with the cramps. You 00:18:29.049 --> 00:18:33.026 haven't had it. So I got in the tub and I said, No, you know something's 00:18:33.059 --> 00:18:35.976 really wrong. I want you to call the ambulance. It's going to get me to 00:18:36.009 --> 00:18:39.785 the hospital faster. It might be my appendix. I think it's my appendix, 00:18:39.818 --> 00:18:43.347 people like, you'd have already been sick. You've been in pain too long. 00:18:43.380 --> 00:18:47.147 And I'm like, it could be, everybody's different. So I told the ambulance 00:18:47.180 --> 00:18:49.706 guys that I thought it was my appendix and I told them that it was hurting 00:18:49.739 --> 00:18:57.426 , but the pain had now moved further down my body. And my bones, my pelvic 00:18:57.459 --> 00:19:00.867 bones, everything was just hurting. It felt like someone was just crushing 00:19:00.900 --> 00:19:08.426 him. So I got to the hospital. It was a little before 6, 5:50, 5:45, and 00:19:08.459 --> 00:19:12.426 they did an ultrasound to see if it was my appendix. And they're like, 00:19:12.459 --> 00:19:15.305 Well, we need to get her to the 3rd floor so they could check her. And I'm 00:19:15.338 --> 00:19:18.986 like, the 3rd floor is delivery. Why am I going to the 3rd floor? They're 00:19:19.019 --> 00:19:22.026 like, Well, you're pregnant. And I'm like, How can I be pregnant? There's 00:19:22.059 --> 00:19:25.627 no way I can be pregnant. They're like, so you haven't had intercourse? 00:19:25.660 --> 00:19:30.246 And I'm like, Yeah. Has it been protected? I'm like, Well, um, I'm on the 00:19:30.279 --> 00:19:35.486 IUD. I've been with my partner for years now. No. And she said, Well, has 00:19:35.519 --> 00:19:39.526 the IUD came out? Have you noticed if it came out? I said, No, I haven't. 00:19:39.559 --> 00:19:42.805 She goes, we really need to get you to the 3rd floor. So they got me to 00:19:42.838 --> 00:19:47.206 the 3rd floor. They hooked me up to machines. They did an ultrasound, they 00:19:47.239 --> 00:19:52.176 checked me and her head was already coming out. And they asked me if the 00:19:52.209 --> 00:19:55.976 IUD came out and I said, no, it hadn't come out. So then they started 00:19:56.009 --> 00:19:59.055 freaking me out because they're like, Well, it could be developed in the 00:19:59.088 --> 00:20:02.575 brain. It could be developed in her lungs. Well, we didn't know if it was 00:20:02.608 --> 00:20:07.377 a girl boy, but in the baby's lungs and it's hard, it could be so many. 00:20:07.410 --> 00:20:10.295 She's like, We need to get you. She's like, How far along are you? I'm 00:20:10.328 --> 00:20:14.776 like, I don't know. I've been on this for 2 years. 2 years. Mikey had just 00:20:14.809 --> 00:20:21.656 turned 2 September 16th, and here we are, October 1st, 2012. So they got 00:20:21.689 --> 00:20:25.897 me into the delivery room. I had her by 6:33, which is awesome because 00:20:25.930 --> 00:20:31.335 Mikey was born at 10:33 and she was born at 6:33. So 33 is my lucky number 00:20:31.368 --> 00:20:36.416 and the IUD wasn't in her. It came out after her. So thank goodness it 00:20:36.449 --> 00:20:41.055 wasn't because they said that she couldn't live with it in her. And that 00:20:41.088 --> 00:20:45.016 either she'd pass on her own or they would have to. So that's another 00:20:45.049 --> 00:20:48.506 thing that you don't want to hear. And I'm like, God, these kids, they're 00:20:48.539 --> 00:20:53.946 just giving me gray hairs already and they're just babies. So she was 00:20:53.979 --> 00:20:57.147 early. They said that her due date, by the way, that her lungs was 00:20:57.180 --> 00:21:00.426 developed, her heart, everything that she was about a couple months early 00:21:00.459 --> 00:21:04.335 , she should have been born in December. And because I don't have 00:21:04.368 --> 00:21:08.147 menstrual, they can't pick the date, but in December sometime is when she 00:21:08.180 --> 00:21:12.045 should have been born. So they said she wouldn't get out any earlier than 00:21:12.078 --> 00:21:16.055 2 months, from 2 to 3 months, depending on how everything else finished 00:21:16.088 --> 00:21:20.496 developing. Her lungs were still premature, so they wanted him to develop 00:21:20.529 --> 00:21:25.795 more. They wanted her to gain weight. So she was on oxygen when she was 00:21:25.828 --> 00:21:29.717 first born. Um, I didn't get a hold of her right away either. They took 00:21:29.750 --> 00:21:35.397 her to the ICU immediately and she wasn't in my room at all. After I had 00:21:35.430 --> 00:21:40.897 her, they discharged me two days later and I went across the hospital and 00:21:40.930 --> 00:21:44.075 I slept in the room with her. We took turns. Someone had to be at home 00:21:44.108 --> 00:21:48.717 with Mikey. And she did amazing. They said that they didn't know how she 00:21:48.750 --> 00:21:54.186 lived, how the IUD didn't grow in her, which usually happens if the IUD 00:21:54.219 --> 00:21:59.006 doesn't come out. And they said she wouldn't get out for 2 months at the 00:21:59.039 --> 00:22:05.776 very least, maybe more. She was out in a month. She was on oxygen for a 00:22:05.809 --> 00:22:11.137 week and that was it. She gained weight. She was she's fine. They said 00:22:11.170 --> 00:22:13.897 that they're worried about, you know, that she might do things slower 00:22:13.930 --> 00:22:18.295 because she was premature. I had no prenatal. I had nothing. There is no 00:22:18.328 --> 00:22:24.166 way of knowing if you know just like if you did routines. Um, ultrasounds 00:22:24.199 --> 00:22:28.107 or anything. There was no way of knowing anything. So they just didn't 00:22:28.140 --> 00:22:32.766 know what to expect with her, but she's perfectly healthy. She's a little 00:22:32.799 --> 00:22:37.486 4 year old that is very, very, very smart, and she amazes her doctors 00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:41.736 because the doctor that delivered her is still her doctor today. And he's 00:22:41.769 --> 00:22:44.776 like, you know, usually if they're premature, we look at them at their 00:22:44.809 --> 00:22:49.936 actual age, so she's 2 months behind. But she's actually advanced for most 00:22:49.969 --> 00:22:54.756 4 year olds. She already knows colors, numbers, you know. So she's just a 00:22:54.789 --> 00:23:00.656 miracle to everybody, even her doctor. He doesn't understand it. 00:23:00.689 --> 00:23:07.486 That's an amazing, amazing, amazing story. That's amazing, truly. Um, you 00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:10.785 were thinking at your second birth that you weren't going to have children 00:23:10.818 --> 00:23:15.236 anymore and that was kind of like maybe weighing on you subconsciously and 00:23:15.269 --> 00:23:19.696 your boyfriend or husband at the time, your partner wanted maybe a family 00:23:19.729 --> 00:23:26.035 too, like you both did. What was what was his in this whole thing? And he 00:23:26.068 --> 00:23:29.137 always wanted a girl. He's like, Can't we just try? You have a mama's boy 00:23:29.170 --> 00:23:33.045 . I want a daddy's girl. And I'm like, No, you're not the one that has to 00:23:33.078 --> 00:23:37.815 go through it. You're not the one that almost died. No, I'm not. And so he 00:23:37.848 --> 00:23:40.956 was hurt about that, but he's like, I have you guys, and that's good 00:23:40.989 --> 00:23:45.897 enough. So of course he was kind of like, How the heck did this happen? It 00:23:45.930 --> 00:23:49.585 wasn't supposed to happen, but it still happened. How does that happen? 00:23:49.618 --> 00:23:56.226 And I'm like, Well, we were the 1%. The IUD Mirena, it's all 99.9%. We 00:23:56.259 --> 00:24:00.867 were the 1% and we were lucky that she was healthy. So he got his little 00:24:00.900 --> 00:24:05.186 girl, which everybody was ecstatic. Everybody was so happy that she was 00:24:05.219 --> 00:24:11.226 completely healthy, that she was progressing so fast. She was and my 00:24:11.259 --> 00:24:15.585 birthday is October 15th, so she was the best birthday present I could 00:24:15.618 --> 00:24:20.805 ever get that I could ever ask for. So it's just really amazing and when 00:24:20.838 --> 00:24:26.137 you sit there now knowing. You're like, there's no way. I didn't get sick 00:24:26.170 --> 00:24:29.897 like I got it with Mikey. You expect it to kind of be, you know, somehow 00:24:29.930 --> 00:24:34.857 similar with most girls, multiple pregnancy usually is, maybe not as bad 00:24:34.890 --> 00:24:39.857 morning sickness as the first. I had no morning sickness at all. I did 00:24:39.890 --> 00:24:43.706 have this craving for um 00:24:43.739 --> 00:24:49.467 Mottomill. Maple brown sugar malto meal, which now we understand why I 00:24:49.500 --> 00:24:53.916 wanted to eat it every day. You know it takes this for you to say there 00:24:53.949 --> 00:24:58.476 were those signs. It wasn't gas. It was her moving inside of me. I should 00:24:58.509 --> 00:25:02.736 have stuck to my intuition, not listen to my doctor or my boyfriend or my 00:25:02.769 --> 00:25:07.597 mom because I said, I swear it felt like a baby was moving and everybody 00:25:07.630 --> 00:25:12.035 just said it was gas bubbles. So now that you look at it, there are those 00:25:12.068 --> 00:25:15.926 little signs that you never think. 00:25:15.959 --> 00:25:19.736 I guess cuz I told myself no more kids and. Yeah it's supposed to be good 00:25:19.769 --> 00:25:24.555 for 10 years and it only lasted 2. So 00:25:24.588 --> 00:25:28.196 Awesome. Ashley, do you have any questions? I just have one question. How 00:25:28.229 --> 00:25:31.946 much did your daughter weigh when she was born? She was 3 pounds, 6 ounces 00:25:31.979 --> 00:25:35.496 , 16 inches. 00:25:35.529 --> 00:25:37.956 She was tiny. 00:25:37.989 --> 00:25:41.877 She was very tiny. The preemie diapers that they had for her, the nurse 00:25:41.910 --> 00:25:45.357 had to tape them because it was too big with the tape and they couldn't go 00:25:45.390 --> 00:25:48.597 anymore. So the nurse literally had to put an extra tape on him to make 00:25:48.630 --> 00:25:52.795 sure they stayed. Preemie diapers were even too big. She could literally 00:25:52.828 --> 00:25:57.617 wear doll clothes. Well, you know, like the fat dolls, but yeah, she could 00:25:57.650 --> 00:26:02.877 wear doll clothes, preemie we're still too big on her. Um, were you able 00:26:02.910 --> 00:26:09.597 to nurse her? No, I couldn't nurse her. She had to be bottle-fed. So it's 00:26:09.630 --> 00:26:15.835 sad because I loved it. I loved the bonding. I think that's Why Mikey and 00:26:15.868 --> 00:26:19.867 I might have a different relationship. I don't love my children more than 00:26:19.900 --> 00:26:22.835 the other. I love them in different ways because they're two different 00:26:22.868 --> 00:26:29.795 people. But him and I have a different bond. She can pull away from me and 00:26:29.828 --> 00:26:36.075 go with my dad or my mom, where Mikey is like, I'm next to you and I'm not 00:26:36.108 --> 00:26:40.516 leaving. She could sleep in her own bed and Mikey has to sleep in Mike. So 00:26:40.549 --> 00:26:43.996 she's more where, you know, she's fine letting go because she knows that 00:26:44.029 --> 00:26:50.035 I'll be there, but Mikey is more clingy, like he needs me. So I think that 00:26:50.068 --> 00:26:54.637 definitely had to do with not being able to nurse her. That's me. When not 00:26:54.670 --> 00:26:59.916 being able to nurse her, which really sucked. It really hurt because it's 00:26:59.949 --> 00:27:03.956 people think you should be embarrassed, but it's really an awesome thing 00:27:03.989 --> 00:27:07.835 to do, to know that you're giving your kids out of your body that 00:27:07.868 --> 00:27:12.607 nutrition they need. You know, better than some of the shots they get when 00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:17.285 they're first born, and that you could do that for them and to go to, you 00:27:17.318 --> 00:27:21.006 know, something that's just in a can that you throw with some water. That 00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:26.055 was very hard for me, especially in the hospital. But we have to do it 00:27:26.088 --> 00:27:33.006 their way there so. Awesome. Can you say it was sad again? It was sad. 00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:37.127 Yeah, because I was talking over you. Oh, it was sad. It is sad. I think 00:27:37.160 --> 00:27:42.325 people should breastfeed. That's my opinion. And I know my cousin's also 00:27:42.358 --> 00:27:46.406 very big on that, um, especially with that thing happening with the lady 00:27:46.439 --> 00:27:51.526 breastfeeding in the airplane and getting kicked off. She's a huge 00:27:51.559 --> 00:27:59.559 advocate for breastfeeding and I mean, people, us as people, as the world 00:27:59.959 --> 00:28:05.335 , as humanity, they make women feel like it is shameful. I mean, look at 00:28:05.368 --> 00:28:10.776 my background. That's something my grandparents are old school. My mother 00:28:10.809 --> 00:28:15.016 was uncomfortable. My grandparents were uncomfortable about it. His 00:28:15.049 --> 00:28:19.585 parents were uncomfortable about it, but I'm like Can anybody say sex? 00:28:19.618 --> 00:28:22.585 Because you have to have sex to have these kids. So you know if you're 00:28:22.618 --> 00:28:26.785 that bad, I understand why you don't understand the breastfeeding or being 00:28:26.818 --> 00:28:29.906 in public. And if people don't like it, they could turn around because I'm 00:28:29.939 --> 00:28:35.285 doing what's best for my children. What I choose to do. And if they don't 00:28:35.318 --> 00:28:37.847 like it, they don't have to look, and that was my attitude and I really 00:28:37.880 --> 00:28:42.578 didn't care. Good for you. OK, I'm gonna stop this.