This is for Solis interviewing for Creative Push on December 19, 2016 at
10:17. Can you say your name and your age? My name's Tanya Senna and I'm
28 years old. Excellent. Do you feel comfortable in that chair? Do you
want me to scooch it for you? Maybe a little more back. I don't think it
goes back. No, because the heater, it's fine. OK. Um, OK, so let's start
from the beginning. Well, maybe tell us what you were telling us about
being born and raised here and stuff for us that kind of like sets the
scene. OK. Yeah, um, my grandparents, actually my nana's from a small town
up north called Home in New Mexico. It's connected Mora. It's a very small
town and I think my grandpa is from there. He was born there and then he
moved somewhere else, which is in between Chimayo and Espanola.
And they were together for 3 years before they got married. They have 5
kids. My mom's the baby. Um, my grandpa on my dad's side is originally
from Arizona, but both my parents met here, live here, and I've been here
my whole life. You do have an accent, a local. That's what everybody says
, but you know we don't hear it. I guess maybe if we went somewhere else
we could tell and I could tell anybody else from here that they're not
from here because their accent and everybody say that you know Hispanics
here we say things different even our Spanish is different compared to
people from Mexico. Our Spanish is from Spain, so it's kind of like.
Italian, Spanish mixed together. So things in our language is something
completely different from the language in Mexico. So do you speak Spanish
? Not really. I understand most of it. I could say some things, but my
parents and my grandparents are teaching my kids Spanish. That way they'll
know. That way they'll grow up speaking it because my great grandpa used
to tell me, I don't know what you're saying, tell me in Spanish. So we're
just like, well, if you guys don't teach it, then we don't say it. So we
never learned. My cousins and I, we don't know. But it comes, our
grandparents, our parents, they all speak fluent Spanish and fluent
English. We just never really picked up the Spanish. OK, so maybe take us
back to the conception of your first birth. Was it planned? Was it? Mikey
, what's planned? We planned him. We were together 3 years before we had
him. We were together for about a year and a half. About a year and a half
when we decided that we wanted kids. Our relationship was just totally
different from a relationship that either one of us have ever had. And
just the way we bond and clicked, and what's weird is that their dad's
name is Mike. So Mike's sister, Jennifer dated my cousin Anthony for 7
years and we never met. In that 7 years we had never met. So it was weird
that we met and then he's like, This is my family. I'm like, Really? My
cousin was engaged to your sister? And he's like, No way. So it was just
so weird that we met when we met and that our families already knew each
other. So it's just crazy and we just felt a certain way and decided we
wanted to have kids, that we just wanted to build a life together. So it
took us a miscarriage. And then when I said I didn't want anymore, I
didn't want to go through that anymore. It hurt me more than I think it
hurt anybody else. I'm the one going through it. So I told him that I
didn't want to try anymore. And once we stopped trying, I found out I was
pregnant with Mikey. I was 7 weeks pregnant when I found out. How far
along was the miscarriage before that happened? I was only, I think, 8
weeks, 9 weeks, somewhere around there. So, but it was constantly trying,
trying ovulation tests, pregnancy tests. My closet was stocked. So it was
that kind of weird crazy trying and I just got sick of it. It was just
tiring. It just took a toll and then you go through all that work and then
that happens and it's just so devastating and you're just thinking this is
never going to happen. I try and I try and I try and it's just not going
to happen. I'm not meant to have kids. If I was, that wouldn't have
happened, even though he said things happen for reasons, which I do
believe now because I don't think I would have had Mikey. Mikey wouldn't
be who he is. So you were 7 weeks and then what happened? I was 7 weeks. I
was sick my whole pregnancy. I lost weight during my pregnancy. Um, and
then I just started getting sick all the time and then other things
started happening when I started going to the doctor's towards the end, my
blood pressures were really high, so I had to do this whole urine test for
them. I don't know if you know, do you know how to do it? They make you
check, they give you some stuff to drink, and they give you a container,
and you collect your pee for 24 hours and you have to keep the container
in the refrigerator. Yeah, it was really nasty. It was gross. I was like,
I'm never using that shelf again. And so we had to collect it for 24 hours.
I took it back to my doctor and she spilled it, so she only did half a
test and there was traces of preeclampsia in the test, but she didn't
treat me for preeclampsia because she didn't have all the urine and she
wasn't going to make me do it again. Were you having symptoms at that
point that were concerning like dizziness or my blood pressure was just
always constantly high, but she, when she had told me, she told me that
she just thought it was because it was towards the end of my pregnancy and
I was getting nervous and that's why my blood pressure was always high,
that there could be reasons for that. That's not exactly preeclampsia
because nobody in my family had ever suffered from preeclampsia before. So
I didn't know and she said that she didn't think it was anything to be
alarming because the traces were small and because I hadn't had high blood
pressure through my whole pregnancy. And she said usually women that have
preeclampsia show signs from the beginning of their pregnancy and because
I didn't, she didn't treat me. So. So then what happened? So then I went
into labor with Mikey. I was at 3 centimeters for a week. I, I just
started feeling it. I went to the hospital. They're like, You're at 3
centimeters. They kept me there for like 2 hours. nothing had changed. So
they sent me home. I was like that for a whole week. Just walking around 3
centimeters. They're like, stay walking, stay walking. It'll progress
things. You'll go, it'll be fast. I think those are old wives' tales, I
guess, because I walked and walked and he wasn't here. His due date was
September 14, 2010. So I had my last doctor's appointment September 15th,
and they saw that my fluid was low through one of my ultrasounds. So like
we're gonna send you to the hospital, we're gonna induce you. She's like,
so just head right on over there, which Dr. Van Ek's office was right
across the street from the hospital. So it was really fast. I checked in.
It was about 3 o'clock and they didn't induce me till about 8 o'clock at
night on the 15th. And later on in the evening, it was probably around 11
, 11:30, somewhere around there, I asked for the epidural. Because the
pain medicines they gave me weren't helping anymore. So I got the epidural.
After a while, I told them that my whole right side was numb, but I could
feel on my left side, everything, everything on my left. And she said that
it was just supposed to numb me from the waist down on my right, and I was
like, I could feel my left. She was just out of school, so I was like Can
I have someone else, someone that has more experience? Like I don't mean
to be rude, but I really want someone else. Oh, there's nobody else. I'm
the only one here. I'm sorry. We told her throughout the night. She just
said the same thing. It takes a while. Everybody's body is different. It's
not going to happen. She said that she knew everything because everything
was fresh out of her mind, but I think sometimes it still takes experience
, not just books or what you've learned in school. So my doctor came in,
it was probably about 9:30 in the morning on the September 16th, and my
doctor came in. Mike had told Doctor Vinica what was going on, what we
told the nurse. She said the nurse should have called her and she would
have come in. And since I really wasn't progressing anymore, I was at 5
centimeters from being at 3 a week to 5 centimeters wasn't really nothing.
So she said that they were afraid that it was a brain hemorrhage because
my left eye was really droopy. My whole left side, my leg and my arm, my
hand was just twitching, like constantly shaking. So she said that she was
going to do emergency C-section because she was afraid that I was having a
brain hemorrhage because the rest of my body wasn't convulsing. So she
thought it was a brain hemorrhage. So they called in. Well, of course Mike
was there and my mom was there, and they asked my mom if they could only
save one of us if it is a brain hemorrhage, which the surgery could cause
a lot of complications, more than what there was, and they could only save
one of us, who would they want her to save? And she's like, Of course, my
daughter, they could try to have more kids or if they don't, you can't
replace my daughter. So I'm like, No, the baby, you know, I'm a mom. Save
my kid. I don't want to bury my kid. He was full term. That's all that was
going in my mind, that I was going to have to bury my kid because of what
she was saying. So my family is Catholic. I think most most New Mexicans,
most with the Hispanic culture are Catholic. Well, they were born and
raised that way, went to Catholic schools. So they brought the priest
that's in the hospital to my room. He read me my last rites. My
grandfather and my grandmother really felt that that was important for
whatever I've done, and because I had a child out of wedlock to read me my
last rites so I could be saved and go to heaven or whatever. So they read
me my last rites. Everybody was calling my uncles. His mom came, his
sister came, his dad came. My whole family, I have a huge family. I have 4
uncles and aunties, you know. So everybody came to the hospital, everybody
was crying, which made me panic more. And when I went in for the C-section
, they um when they started to cut me open, I could feel it. And she just
said that you might feel pressure. I could feel them literally cutting my
skin. I could feel each, you know, when they're cutting through it each.
Little thing So they upped me with morphine. They stopped and they shot
me up with morphine right away and it numbed everything and I was just so
out of it that I remember hearing him cry. I remember seeing him, i got
him and held him. Um, I remember seeing Mike when they're weighing him,
and from that part, I guess I dozed off. Mike brought him to me. They made
him take him and that was it. And then I woke up in one of those huge
tubes. They were doing an MRI and I woke up freaking out. I'm
claustrophobic to begin with and I'm stuck in there. I don't even know
what's going on. They didn't tell me they're doing the test. They're just
going off what my mom says because I wasn't married, so my mom can make
medical decisions, I guess. So they did the MRI. I freaked out. I wanted
to get out. I didn't have a brain hemorrhage. I had a seizure. I had a
seizure from the pre-eclampsia. That's why my body was doing that. That's
why I was shaking, and they don't know why the rest of my body wasn't
convulsing like you do with the seizure, but that's why my left arm, my
left hand, my arm, my leg was twitching. And that's why my left eye was
droopy, because they don't know how long I had the seizure. If it was
multiple seizures. They don't know if it was multiple or it was one big
one. They didn't know because nobody knew, so they would never know. So
they put me on medication for seizures because I've never had them before
and she just wanted to make sure after I had my key that I wouldn't have
any more seizures because they didn't catch it. She was afraid that I was
going to continue to have them. So I didn't get a hold of Mikey for the
1st 12 hours of his life. I wasn't allowed to. I was so out of it with the
morphine. I was crying because he wouldn't let me see him, but then I was
falling asleep. My mom said that it just looked awful. My head was just
hanging and I was just asleep. So it was awful and they put me in the ICU
and they wanted to split us. So they said that the only way that I could
be in the same room, in my regular room with Mikey is if I allow no
visitors, just Mike, Mikey and myself. So I said, of course, I'm going to
kick everybody out because I want to be with my son. This is my first
child. I've worked hard for him, you know, 3 years. So everybody was still
freaking out. My brother freaked out because he worked at the prison. all
he got was a message hours later after this because he was born at 10:33
in September 16th. So this was probably like at 8 o'clock at night. He's
running to the hospital, freaking out. That I died. He didn't know because
no one was answering the phone, and I guess people forgot to call and tell
him what happened. So, I was just irritated. I was bugged. I was really
angry. I guess I could have sued the doctor in the hospitals, but it's all
I cared was that my son was OK. That's all that meant. It never mattered
to me at that time. So he, he's a good baby. He was a good baby. Were you
able to nurse after all of that trauma? I was able to nurish. They don't
let me nourish for the 1st 48 hours, which are the most important hours,
but they didn't let me because I had the morphine in my body. So I wasn't
able to. And then I started nursing and he latched on right away. He was
perfectly fine. Because when I was pregnant, everybody's like, You don't
want to nurse your baby. What are you going to do if he's hungry in public
? You know my family felt that you shouldn't expose yourself in public.
That's not something that shouldn't be out there. And I'm like, I've done
research. They've told me at my doctor's, they've told me at Wick that
this is the most important thing, that this is the healthiest, and I want
to do it. If I'm comfortable with my body and myself to nurse, and it's
going to be the best way for my son to get nutrition. Or anything like
that, I want to breastfeed. And I did. I learned everything. I got breast
pumps. I asked questions. Wick gave me DVDs. They took, well, you can't
really take a class, but you kind of sit in a class and they teach you and
so it was really easy. He launched on and I think it's because a lot of
people are told what I was told, so they might not know or they might be
embarrassed too. And I'm like they sell things to cover. My mother-in-law
actually made me a cover, even though they sound like at Walmart, Target,
she made me a cover so I could nurse him. But I had to nurse and bottle
feed because he had thrush for a while. And you know what thrush is? It's
when they, when the mother has like a yeast infection or something, and
when he was born, I guess I had a yeast infection and I didn't know, so he
got it in his mouth. So there was bumps inside his mouth and it made it
hard, so I had to use a bottle while he had thrush. That way it was a fast
flow. And he didn't have to suck to get it. It would just come out. So I
did that and I nursed him up until he was a year, and he was easy to ming
off. I didn't have issues at all. He walked when he was 9 months. He was 5
pounds 6 ounces, 19 inches. And now he's 6 years old and 48 pounds. So,
Transition us to the to the 2nd. So with all of that that happened, that's
not something you want to experience again and you don't know what the
heck this doctor's going to do or what any other doctors going to do. So I
decided I had one kid and I'm not going through this again. I'm not
putting my family through it. So I was happy with my son. So I went to my
doctor to get birth control and she was explaining the IUD, there's Mirena.
And I told her with me, I need something hormonal free, especially
because I was breastfeeding and because I don't want to deal with the
hormones. And so she told me it's called Perraguard and it's the IUD. It's
a copper one and it's supposed to be good for 10 years. So I got it 3
months after he was born. I didn't think anything of it. I kept it. Um, I
just started feeling weird. Well, before I felt weird, I would feel like
butterflies, like you feel a baby moving and you don't know that feeling
until there's actually a baby in there. So everybody's like, maybe you
know deep down you still want a baby, even though you're trying to have
this tough exterior. Well, yeah, of course, but I've learned to be happy
with what I have. Everybody wants kids. Anybody wants more kids, but I had
one and I should be grateful for that. So maybe I did kind of bury it,
that that was just not an option anymore. And everybody was like, Maybe
it's gas. My mom's like, I feel that. I'm in my 40s and I still feel it.
She goes, and there's no way I could be pregnant. I went to the doctor and
I told them, they said it was gas, that it was just gas bubbles, and on
the Paraguard, you don't get your menstrual cycle, so you don't know if
it's missed or not. So, um, it was, she was born on the 1st, so September
31st. Well, technically October 1st, it was midnight and I was just, you
know, really hurting. I had these really bad cramps and I had him to an
extent with Mikey, but not like this. I had him, they stopped. I stayed at
3 centimeters, so I didn't really experience anything. I was induced, got
epidural. I didn't really experience a lot of pain. So I was having really
bad pains, bad cramps, and I couldn't sleep and I was able to sleep and
then I'd wake up with the pains. All through the day. I was feeling the
pain. I was walking because it seemed to soothe it. I just wanted it to
stop. It got to the point where I couldn't walk. My sister had to help me
walk. And she's like, maybe if you get in a hot bath, it might help
whatever is going on. Like relax your muscles or whatever, she goes in.
Maybe it's your menstrual cycle. You haven't had it in so long that maybe
it's just coming, and that's why you can't deal with the cramps. You
haven't had it. So I got in the tub and I said, No, you know something's
really wrong. I want you to call the ambulance. It's going to get me to
the hospital faster. It might be my appendix. I think it's my appendix,
people like, you'd have already been sick. You've been in pain too long.
And I'm like, it could be, everybody's different. So I told the ambulance
guys that I thought it was my appendix and I told them that it was hurting
, but the pain had now moved further down my body. And my bones, my pelvic
bones, everything was just hurting. It felt like someone was just crushing
him. So I got to the hospital. It was a little before 6, 5:50, 5:45, and
they did an ultrasound to see if it was my appendix. And they're like,
Well, we need to get her to the 3rd floor so they could check her. And I'm
like, the 3rd floor is delivery. Why am I going to the 3rd floor? They're
like, Well, you're pregnant. And I'm like, How can I be pregnant? There's
no way I can be pregnant. They're like, so you haven't had intercourse?
And I'm like, Yeah. Has it been protected? I'm like, Well, um, I'm on the
IUD. I've been with my partner for years now. No. And she said, Well, has
the IUD came out? Have you noticed if it came out? I said, No, I haven't.
She goes, we really need to get you to the 3rd floor. So they got me to
the 3rd floor. They hooked me up to machines. They did an ultrasound, they
checked me and her head was already coming out. And they asked me if the
IUD came out and I said, no, it hadn't come out. So then they started
freaking me out because they're like, Well, it could be developed in the
brain. It could be developed in her lungs. Well, we didn't know if it was
a girl boy, but in the baby's lungs and it's hard, it could be so many.
She's like, We need to get you. She's like, How far along are you? I'm
like, I don't know. I've been on this for 2 years. 2 years. Mikey had just
turned 2 September 16th, and here we are, October 1st, 2012. So they got
me into the delivery room. I had her by 6:33, which is awesome because
Mikey was born at 10:33 and she was born at 6:33. So 33 is my lucky number
and the IUD wasn't in her. It came out after her. So thank goodness it
wasn't because they said that she couldn't live with it in her. And that
either she'd pass on her own or they would have to. So that's another
thing that you don't want to hear. And I'm like, God, these kids, they're
just giving me gray hairs already and they're just babies. So she was
early. They said that her due date, by the way, that her lungs was
developed, her heart, everything that she was about a couple months early
, she should have been born in December. And because I don't have
menstrual, they can't pick the date, but in December sometime is when she
should have been born. So they said she wouldn't get out any earlier than
2 months, from 2 to 3 months, depending on how everything else finished
developing. Her lungs were still premature, so they wanted him to develop
more. They wanted her to gain weight. So she was on oxygen when she was
first born. Um, I didn't get a hold of her right away either. They took
her to the ICU immediately and she wasn't in my room at all. After I had
her, they discharged me two days later and I went across the hospital and
I slept in the room with her. We took turns. Someone had to be at home
with Mikey. And she did amazing. They said that they didn't know how she
lived, how the IUD didn't grow in her, which usually happens if the IUD
doesn't come out. And they said she wouldn't get out for 2 months at the
very least, maybe more. She was out in a month. She was on oxygen for a
week and that was it. She gained weight. She was she's fine. They said
that they're worried about, you know, that she might do things slower
because she was premature. I had no prenatal. I had nothing. There is no
way of knowing if you know just like if you did routines. Um, ultrasounds
or anything. There was no way of knowing anything. So they just didn't
know what to expect with her, but she's perfectly healthy. She's a little
4 year old that is very, very, very smart, and she amazes her doctors
because the doctor that delivered her is still her doctor today. And he's
like, you know, usually if they're premature, we look at them at their
actual age, so she's 2 months behind. But she's actually advanced for most
4 year olds. She already knows colors, numbers, you know. So she's just a
miracle to everybody, even her doctor. He doesn't understand it.
That's an amazing, amazing, amazing story. That's amazing, truly. Um, you
were thinking at your second birth that you weren't going to have children
anymore and that was kind of like maybe weighing on you subconsciously and
your boyfriend or husband at the time, your partner wanted maybe a family
too, like you both did. What was what was his in this whole thing? And he
always wanted a girl. He's like, Can't we just try? You have a mama's boy
. I want a daddy's girl. And I'm like, No, you're not the one that has to
go through it. You're not the one that almost died. No, I'm not. And so he
was hurt about that, but he's like, I have you guys, and that's good
enough. So of course he was kind of like, How the heck did this happen? It
wasn't supposed to happen, but it still happened. How does that happen?
And I'm like, Well, we were the 1%. The IUD Mirena, it's all 99.9%. We
were the 1% and we were lucky that she was healthy. So he got his little
girl, which everybody was ecstatic. Everybody was so happy that she was
completely healthy, that she was progressing so fast. She was and my
birthday is October 15th, so she was the best birthday present I could
ever get that I could ever ask for. So it's just really amazing and when
you sit there now knowing. You're like, there's no way. I didn't get sick
like I got it with Mikey. You expect it to kind of be, you know, somehow
similar with most girls, multiple pregnancy usually is, maybe not as bad
morning sickness as the first. I had no morning sickness at all. I did
have this craving for um
Mottomill. Maple brown sugar malto meal, which now we understand why I
wanted to eat it every day. You know it takes this for you to say there
were those signs. It wasn't gas. It was her moving inside of me. I should
have stuck to my intuition, not listen to my doctor or my boyfriend or my
mom because I said, I swear it felt like a baby was moving and everybody
just said it was gas bubbles. So now that you look at it, there are those
little signs that you never think.
I guess cuz I told myself no more kids and. Yeah it's supposed to be good
for 10 years and it only lasted 2. So
Awesome. Ashley, do you have any questions? I just have one question. How
much did your daughter weigh when she was born? She was 3 pounds, 6 ounces
, 16 inches.
She was tiny.
She was very tiny. The preemie diapers that they had for her, the nurse
had to tape them because it was too big with the tape and they couldn't go
anymore. So the nurse literally had to put an extra tape on him to make
sure they stayed. Preemie diapers were even too big. She could literally
wear doll clothes. Well, you know, like the fat dolls, but yeah, she could
wear doll clothes, preemie we're still too big on her. Um, were you able
to nurse her? No, I couldn't nurse her. She had to be bottle-fed. So it's
sad because I loved it. I loved the bonding. I think that's Why Mikey and
I might have a different relationship. I don't love my children more than
the other. I love them in different ways because they're two different
people. But him and I have a different bond. She can pull away from me and
go with my dad or my mom, where Mikey is like, I'm next to you and I'm not
leaving. She could sleep in her own bed and Mikey has to sleep in Mike. So
she's more where, you know, she's fine letting go because she knows that
I'll be there, but Mikey is more clingy, like he needs me. So I think that
definitely had to do with not being able to nurse her. That's me. When not
being able to nurse her, which really sucked. It really hurt because it's
people think you should be embarrassed, but it's really an awesome thing
to do, to know that you're giving your kids out of your body that
nutrition they need. You know, better than some of the shots they get when
they're first born, and that you could do that for them and to go to, you
know, something that's just in a can that you throw with some water. That
was very hard for me, especially in the hospital. But we have to do it
their way there so. Awesome. Can you say it was sad again? It was sad.
Yeah, because I was talking over you. Oh, it was sad. It is sad. I think
people should breastfeed. That's my opinion. And I know my cousin's also
very big on that, um, especially with that thing happening with the lady
breastfeeding in the airplane and getting kicked off. She's a huge
advocate for breastfeeding and I mean, people, us as people, as the world
, as humanity, they make women feel like it is shameful. I mean, look at
my background. That's something my grandparents are old school. My mother
was uncomfortable. My grandparents were uncomfortable about it. His
parents were uncomfortable about it, but I'm like Can anybody say sex?
Because you have to have sex to have these kids. So you know if you're
that bad, I understand why you don't understand the breastfeeding or being
in public. And if people don't like it, they could turn around because I'm
doing what's best for my children. What I choose to do. And if they don't
like it, they don't have to look, and that was my attitude and I really
didn't care. Good for you. OK, I'm gonna stop this.