WEBVTT 00:00:00.709 --> 00:00:06.497 All right, so this is for Solis interviewing Vicky Neary at May on May 00:00:06.530 --> 00:00:12.437 28th, 2016 at 10:05 for the Creative Push project. OK, so why don't we set 00:00:12.470 --> 00:00:17.916 it up the first conception event. OK. Well, my first conception was a 00:00:17.949 --> 00:00:24.546 miscarriage. So after that, uh, the second conception, all my, well, it 00:00:24.579 --> 00:00:29.146 was planned. We wanted to have a child. We were living in New Zealand. And 00:00:29.179 --> 00:00:35.315 we decided, um, after the first one to just keep trying and 00:00:35.348 --> 00:00:41.885 Let's see, Colin was. I know, during the pregnancy I gained only 25 pounds. 00:00:41.918 --> 00:00:48.207 In fact, at the 7 month point my doctor said I needed to stop hiking and 00:00:48.240 --> 00:00:53.167 start, uh, gaining weight because I had only gained maybe 1015 pounds by 00:00:53.200 --> 00:00:57.237 then, so I really had to start. 00:00:57.270 --> 00:01:02.635 Sitting back and I gained a total of 25 pounds, which wasn't enough 00:01:02.668 --> 00:01:07.016 because I lost it within two weeks and I was really thin afterwards. So I 00:01:07.049 --> 00:01:13.486 , I, after that, I made sure I gained a lot more weight. Then, uh, as far 00:01:13.519 --> 00:01:19.686 as plans, I attended Lamas training because I didn't want to have any 00:01:19.719 --> 00:01:24.647 drugs and I wanted to do it as naturally as possible. I also attended 00:01:24.680 --> 00:01:29.757 Laleche League meetings because I wanted to breastfeed my child because my 00:01:29.790 --> 00:01:37.790 uh. My husband's uh, brother's children. The two of them had been born 00:01:38.558 --> 00:01:43.165 before my first and had extreme milk allergies, so I thought, and I knew 00:01:43.198 --> 00:01:48.046 my, my family is riddle riddled with allergies. So therefore I thought, OK 00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:52.766 , I really want to do the best and during, you know, this is back in the 00:01:52.799 --> 00:01:57.406 70s and not everybody did, but in New Zealand where we were living, it was 00:01:57.439 --> 00:02:04.676 a very positive thing for women to breastfeed their children. I um the 00:02:04.709 --> 00:02:11.985 pregnancy went really well. Everything worked great. Um I'm trying to 00:02:12.018 --> 00:02:17.666 remember, oh, except when it came to the due date, my doctor saw me and I 00:02:17.699 --> 00:02:23.825 knew that he was famous for inducing so that he could go golfing whenever 00:02:23.858 --> 00:02:29.265 he wanted to. He didn't, but I had told him I did not want to be induced. 00:02:29.298 --> 00:02:36.737 Well, he wanted an X-ray done. 00:02:36.770 --> 00:02:42.525 Battery. Headphones died and we need smaller batteries for the headphones 00:02:42.558 --> 00:02:48.335 or do they take AA? Do they take AA? 00:02:48.368 --> 00:02:53.416 No, they do AAA. I don't think they take batteries. Oh, they just go on a 00:02:53.449 --> 00:02:59.610 charger. OK, let me see for a second though. Sorry about that. That's OK. 00:02:59.649 --> 00:03:01.649 They might take batteries. batteries. My, my, my Sony's and, and you know 00:03:05.118 --> 00:03:09.457 , they, there's something pops off and there's a battery in there, but 00:03:09.490 --> 00:03:13.406 it's a Mhm. 00:03:13.439 --> 00:03:17.725 They're really hard to find sometimes where that they are. Mine too have 00:03:17.758 --> 00:03:22.487 one right here that pops. It's usually where the power button is. Is there 00:03:22.520 --> 00:03:27.207 a power button on that? So it's usually in the same head, the two that I 00:03:27.240 --> 00:03:32.366 have, it's in the same headset, same ear as as where the power button is 00:03:32.399 --> 00:03:36.166 if that have the charger for this in there because you can just plug this 00:03:36.199 --> 00:03:42.396 into your computer. Um, can I, can I still hear out of them? It's not 00:03:42.429 --> 00:03:45.047 noise reducing, but if I can still hear what's going on, I think that's 00:03:45.080 --> 00:03:48.636 fine. Because then I can bring my computer into the next one we can throw 00:03:48.669 --> 00:03:52.517 it on my computer. We actually charge it in the car on the way there. Yeah 00:03:52.550 --> 00:03:55.835 , I mean, I hate that it doesn't say like when it's getting low, it just 00:03:55.868 --> 00:03:58.025 dies. 00:03:58.058 --> 00:04:02.487 Has it been recording, it's been recording all time. Oh yeah, and I pause 00:04:02.520 --> 00:04:06.166 this. Do you want, would you, do you want me to stop that for the same 00:04:06.199 --> 00:04:09.636 length of pause? Yeah. 00:04:09.669 --> 00:04:16.296 OK, uh, as far as the pregnancy was concerned. This was a very uh happy 00:04:16.329 --> 00:04:23.144 pregnancy, very easy. I didn't uh have any. The morning sickness was 00:04:23.177 --> 00:04:26.705 minimal. If I had any, I don't even remember being having morning sickness 00:04:26.738 --> 00:04:34.305 , and I skied, uh, he was born in January. I was skiing in. July, that's 00:04:34.338 --> 00:04:41.036 winter in New Zealand. I hiked up a mountain at 7 months. I was just 00:04:41.069 --> 00:04:47.476 really healthy and so uh and. There were no problems. And then when the 00:04:47.509 --> 00:04:52.476 doctor said he wanted, uh, he wanted to do an X-ray, I was like, you know 00:04:52.509 --> 00:04:57.437 , this was before they did sonograms and he felt that the head was too 00:04:57.470 --> 00:05:03.325 large. And then he, he did the X-ray being a first time mother, I didn't, 00:05:03.358 --> 00:05:07.765 didn't know what to say. I didn't say no. I let him do what he wanted to 00:05:07.798 --> 00:05:13.116 do and he said that the head was very large. Well, my husband has a very 00:05:13.149 --> 00:05:17.717 large head, so that didn't surprise me. He said, and I said, Well, I want 00:05:17.750 --> 00:05:21.796 to wait another week or two because I felt I had been taking temperatures 00:05:21.829 --> 00:05:27.836 when I got conceived to know when when I was ready to conceive, and my 00:05:27.869 --> 00:05:33.075 date was 2 weeks after his date and because he was dating it from the last 00:05:33.108 --> 00:05:37.926 period and I was dating from when I figured conception occurred. And so I 00:05:37.959 --> 00:05:43.086 wanted to wait for 2 more weeks and he said, your baby is alive now, he 00:05:43.119 --> 00:05:47.687 could be dead in 2 weeks. And I mean, uh, as a, I mean, I was horrified. 00:05:47.720 --> 00:05:52.757 That was the worst thing I've ever, I I didn't know what to say except, 00:05:52.790 --> 00:05:58.995 OK, so I went into the hospital. And uh 00:05:59.028 --> 00:06:03.377 I was upset. I was crying. I didn't want to have this baby now. I wanted 00:06:03.410 --> 00:06:06.937 to have him when he was ready. Of course I didn't know it was a he, 00:06:06.970 --> 00:06:12.856 because in those days you didn't know anything. Um They induced, they 00:06:12.889 --> 00:06:18.296 admitted me, I believe the night before. And then in New Zealand, 00:06:18.329 --> 00:06:21.916 everything is very different. Uh, they keep you for 10 days after a birth 00:06:21.949 --> 00:06:28.555 , so I was admitted the day before 8 a.m. because he, they induced me and 00:06:28.588 --> 00:06:33.866 , uh, nothing happened. The way they used it did induction was to break 00:06:33.899 --> 00:06:41.687 the membrane. And nothing happened all day long. And so finally, they, and 00:06:41.720 --> 00:06:47.286 I don't remember exactly when they started a Pitocin drip. I don't 00:06:47.319 --> 00:06:49.967 remember if it was that night because knowing him, he wouldn't want to 00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:53.567 come in in the night. So he, he may have waited till the next morning, in 00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:57.717 which case I, I just know that I didn't have much sleep. I didn't do very 00:06:57.750 --> 00:07:05.750 well and the Pitocin brought on the uh. The labor very quickly. I mean, so 00:07:05.879 --> 00:07:10.486 I think it was, he must have started it the next morning. And the 00:07:10.519 --> 00:07:16.447 contractions were real strong and all my training. Helped through the pain 00:07:16.480 --> 00:07:21.606 , but I reached a point where they they kept offering me Demerol and I 00:07:21.639 --> 00:07:26.486 took it, but it was really the wrong timing and I always felt like I 00:07:26.519 --> 00:07:30.086 shouldn't, you know, you, you wanted to have this natural childbirth and 00:07:30.119 --> 00:07:33.645 now you've failed to have a natural childbirth because you accepted a 00:07:33.678 --> 00:07:40.437 painkiller and it was actually a negative thing because I lost control of 00:07:40.470 --> 00:07:47.166 everything. And Then the doctor finally came in and he said, This was 00:07:47.199 --> 00:07:53.796 about After, uh, you know, 30 hours. Since I had been induced, he said 00:07:53.829 --> 00:08:00.305 this baby's not. Progressing as he should. And he's facing the wrong way. 00:08:00.338 --> 00:08:05.426 I don't remember anterior or his posterior whatever he's, it's not, uh, 00:08:05.459 --> 00:08:09.906 anyway, he's facing the wrong way, so we're gonna put you out. Well, so I 00:08:09.939 --> 00:08:13.627 was put out. My husband was sent out of the because he was allowed to be 00:08:13.660 --> 00:08:20.507 with me during the labor that which much was good. I was put out and he 00:08:20.540 --> 00:08:25.586 He was delivered with high forceps, which is not done in the US at that 00:08:25.619 --> 00:08:31.036 time wasn't done at that time, but uh I had to trust that the New Zealand 00:08:31.069 --> 00:08:36.746 system because their mortality rate, infant mortality rate is the lowest, 00:08:36.779 --> 00:08:40.025 uh, lower than the US, and everybody said, oh, you're gonna have a baby in 00:08:40.058 --> 00:08:44.307 a foreign country, but I had researched and they. I figured they knew what 00:08:44.340 --> 00:08:47.667 they were doing. The other option would have been C-section, and they 00:08:47.700 --> 00:08:55.196 chose high forceps. Um He was delivered and I was wakened. And in the 00:08:55.229 --> 00:08:59.616 delivery room. And it's a good thing they woke me up because I wouldn't 00:08:59.649 --> 00:09:04.145 have believed that was my baby because he had red hair. And a lot of it. 00:09:04.178 --> 00:09:09.986 And I said, whoa, but when I look back, there are members of my family uh 00:09:10.019 --> 00:09:16.217 uh. Cousins and that that have red hair, so obvious it's not weird, but so 00:09:16.250 --> 00:09:20.125 did the Demerol put you out? It didn't put me out, but it made me so 00:09:20.158 --> 00:09:24.645 sleepy that I wasn't concentrating. I don't know if you, if when you use 00:09:24.678 --> 00:09:30.086 the uh Lama's method, you have to time when the contractions come and I 00:09:30.119 --> 00:09:35.456 had a song that I sang in my head. Uh, when the pain got the worse, it's 00:09:35.489 --> 00:09:41.696 not that it eliminates the pain. It's, it just, um. 00:09:41.729 --> 00:09:48.015 You you just you're so concentrated on something else that you. Could get 00:09:48.048 --> 00:09:51.375 through the pain when we practiced, my husband used to pinch my Achilles 00:09:51.408 --> 00:09:55.736 tendon. And it is first it's a lot of breathing and I don't even remember 00:09:55.769 --> 00:09:58.616 all of it. Sometimes I use that breathing when I'm in the dentist's office 00:09:58.649 --> 00:10:05.686 , you know, if it's a bad situation, but, uh, what, uh, it's kind of funny 00:10:05.719 --> 00:10:10.537 because I used to sing I on a hill was a lonely goattly or you know, and I 00:10:10.570 --> 00:10:15.775 , anyway, in my head all the while that through the pain and I just lost 00:10:15.808 --> 00:10:22.287 it. The Demerol and it made me too sleepy to continue what I was doing. 00:10:22.320 --> 00:10:26.616 And I, and I had pushed for hours. I was in a, you know, pushing phase. 00:10:26.649 --> 00:10:30.775 That was why the doctor decided I was exhausted and he had to, you know, 00:10:30.808 --> 00:10:38.395 pull the baby out rather than me deliver the baby. Anyway, So then, uh, we 00:10:38.428 --> 00:10:44.456 spent. Uh, a lot of time in the hospital. I was in the hospital for 9 days 00:10:44.489 --> 00:10:49.706 afterwards. Uh, because they wanted to keep me for 10, and I finally 00:10:49.739 --> 00:10:52.875 begged them to let me out because I've been in the hospital for 11 cause I 00:10:52.908 --> 00:10:59.566 was in there 2 days before he was born and, uh, He 00:10:59.599 --> 00:11:04.106 He was 6 pounds, 13 ounces. So he was really scrawny looking because he 00:11:04.139 --> 00:11:09.486 had this big head, but there was nothing wrong with him. It's just that uh. 00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:14.066 His father is a big head. And it was, I don't remember a lot about the 00:11:14.099 --> 00:11:20.206 hospital stay. I know that he, I cracked my tailbone when I was 16. So 00:11:20.239 --> 00:11:24.875 when he was delivered because of his large head, he bruised my tailbone. 00:11:24.908 --> 00:11:30.265 So I was in a lot of pain afterwards because of the tailbone issue. And, 00:11:30.298 --> 00:11:33.787 but what they do in New Zealand is they, they teach you how to bathe the 00:11:33.820 --> 00:11:37.746 baby, they help you with nursing the baby. I remember some very 00:11:37.779 --> 00:11:42.346 frustrating times because of the milk allergies, they wanted to give him. 00:11:42.379 --> 00:11:48.307 Um Uh, some formula and I refused to let him them give him formula because 00:11:48.340 --> 00:11:52.265 of the milk allergies. And so there was a big sign on his bed, no milk for 00:11:52.298 --> 00:12:00.298 this little guy. And uh there was also. Lale League women brought Uh, some 00:12:00.500 --> 00:12:05.427 milk of their milk. They donated milk because they were giving him boiled 00:12:05.460 --> 00:12:10.436 water. And they, they said I don't know because it was my first time being 00:12:10.469 --> 00:12:13.236 a mother. I don't, you know, you're not supposed to have the milk, but 00:12:13.269 --> 00:12:18.596 they were acting like the fact that I didn't have milk was an issue, and I 00:12:18.629 --> 00:12:22.797 remember, uh, sitting there in the bedroom trying to nurse him and he'd 00:12:22.830 --> 00:12:26.996 been getting milk for they've been giving him boiled water, uh, sugar 00:12:27.029 --> 00:12:32.417 water from a bottle. And he was having trouble latching on and I was 00:12:32.450 --> 00:12:37.736 frustrated and the nurse came in and she started saying, oh, bad mama and 00:12:37.769 --> 00:12:43.297 I'll never forget that because Because he was screaming and I'm trying to 00:12:43.330 --> 00:12:47.736 nurse him and the nurse is telling me that I wasn't a very good mother and 00:12:47.769 --> 00:12:51.726 I thought anyway it was not so that part the pregnancy was a great 00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:55.657 experience. The birth was not so hot and the afterwards in the hospital 00:12:55.690 --> 00:12:59.736 was, you know, there were, there are positive things for keeping women, 00:12:59.769 --> 00:13:03.616 you know, teaching you a lot of things they taught us. I don't remember 00:13:03.649 --> 00:13:07.496 him anymore, but I know they taught us to bathe him and he was jaundiced, 00:13:07.529 --> 00:13:11.336 so he. He didn't spend much time under Billy lights. I put him in the 00:13:11.369 --> 00:13:17.927 window and the sunlight was on him, so he, that's how he, uh. Got rid of 00:13:17.960 --> 00:13:21.936 his jaundice. And then, of course, everything came in and I had problems 00:13:21.969 --> 00:13:25.956 with nursing him like any new mother, uh, you know, with, I had some 00:13:25.989 --> 00:13:32.427 mastitis, I had some difficulties. He was a real colicky baby. Um, and he 00:13:32.460 --> 00:13:37.226 didn't like to sleep. He never, I mean, he's finally settled down as he 00:13:37.259 --> 00:13:39.927 got older and would sleep through the night, but during the day he didn't 00:13:39.960 --> 00:13:45.307 nap. He would take a 15 minute nap and then he'd wake up again and he was 00:13:45.340 --> 00:13:52.255 so, I mean it was, I think every first time mother is exhausted. But My 00:13:52.288 --> 00:13:55.057 mother came to visit when he was 6 weeks old, and she said, oh, he just 00:13:55.090 --> 00:14:00.706 likes a human mattress. And it was true. I carried him in the snuggly. 00:14:00.739 --> 00:14:06.746 When I, I, I didn't have a dryer and I used regular diapers, so I, uh, 00:14:06.779 --> 00:14:11.346 would try to carry him in the in the front pack while I would hang clothes 00:14:11.379 --> 00:14:15.856 on the line and sometimes I carried him in the backpack and I carried him 00:14:15.889 --> 00:14:20.186 all the time he was because part of that was because I believed in that I 00:14:20.219 --> 00:14:24.895 believed in. And I didn't believe in letting babies cry. So I nursed him. 00:14:24.928 --> 00:14:29.836 I, I took my watch off when I realized he was feeding, quote unquote, too 00:14:29.869 --> 00:14:35.326 often. And so I took my watch off and I have not worn it for 40 years 00:14:35.359 --> 00:14:39.717 because I decided I wasn't going to be, uh, I wasn't going to let the 00:14:39.750 --> 00:14:45.265 clock dictate when I fed him. And I mean, I have a lot of other strange 00:14:45.298 --> 00:14:49.496 things. So I mean, when we, I, we moved into a house that didn't have 00:14:49.529 --> 00:14:53.746 central heating. So I, we just took him to bed with us when he'd wake up. 00:14:53.779 --> 00:14:57.986 So he spent most of his first couple of years in our bed, which some 00:14:58.019 --> 00:15:03.787 people would think is wrong, but anyway, I don't, I never have thought it 00:15:03.820 --> 00:15:09.025 was wrong and I continued with all of my children in that manner. Were you 00:15:09.058 --> 00:15:15.417 in New Zealand for your second? No, no. So moving on to the 2nd, uh, she 00:15:15.450 --> 00:15:22.537 was born. Well, we were living in North Carolina. And She, when I went to 00:15:22.570 --> 00:15:26.096 see the doctor for the first time, he wanted to know about my previous 00:15:26.129 --> 00:15:30.566 birth and when I told him, he said, we don't do high forceps. 00:15:30.599 --> 00:15:37.015 In the US. So you may have to have a cesarean. And I went over the births 00:15:37.048 --> 00:15:41.297 , you know, what I wanted, and he said, oh no, you will have the baby 00:15:41.330 --> 00:15:46.177 because of your background. You will have an IV inserted. You will be 00:15:46.210 --> 00:15:49.375 delivering in the delivery in regular delivery room with your feet in the 00:15:49.408 --> 00:15:54.736 stirrups and all that, and I said, OK. And then I went and found another 00:15:54.769 --> 00:15:58.856 doctor and the doctor I found was in Georgia. We were living in North 00:15:58.889 --> 00:16:04.885 Carolina, but it was about 15 minutes away. Uh, and this doctor was very 00:16:04.918 --> 00:16:09.885 easygoing. He said, no problem. If there's a problem there is, we're in a 00:16:09.918 --> 00:16:14.005 hospital, but you can deliver in the labor room if that's what you want 00:16:14.038 --> 00:16:19.047 and your husband can catch the baby if he wants to. So he was very 00:16:19.080 --> 00:16:23.976 progressive for that time. So I, uh, as far as the pregnancy went, again, 00:16:24.009 --> 00:16:28.486 I didn't have any morning sickness to speak of. 00:16:28.519 --> 00:16:34.797 But I grew much quick more quickly. And um 00:16:34.830 --> 00:16:42.576 I had a problem with uh uh rashes all over my abdomen. So my abdomen got 00:16:42.609 --> 00:16:48.076 inflamed and so I spent a lot of time in very loose, well, you wear loose 00:16:48.109 --> 00:16:55.667 clothes anyway. Uh I don't remember. Oh, I, I ended up having to bind 00:16:55.700 --> 00:17:00.116 myself because it was just, I was all out front. You couldn't tell I was 00:17:00.149 --> 00:17:05.107 pregnant from the rear, but I had this huge basketball in front, so I used 00:17:05.140 --> 00:17:12.415 wraps to to support. And uh Trying to think. There was something else I 00:17:12.448 --> 00:17:18.236 was gonna say. She was also planned. We Wanted to have another baby 3 00:17:18.269 --> 00:17:26.085 years after the others, uh, after Colin and so that. Happened Uh I gained 00:17:26.118 --> 00:17:29.825 a little more weight, I think. 00:17:29.858 --> 00:17:36.506 I think I got up to 40 pounds with her. But everything was working fine. 00:17:36.539 --> 00:17:39.986 Was technology different here? So did they do sonograms yet or did you 00:17:40.019 --> 00:17:45.545 know the sex? I did not know the sex on any of them. And uh the first time 00:17:45.578 --> 00:17:51.916 I ever had a sonogram was with my 4th, so they did not do that, uh. Maybe 00:17:51.949 --> 00:17:56.996 it's partly because they, with the 4th, they wanted to do, well, that's 00:17:57.029 --> 00:18:03.266 anyway, the I attended birthing classes again because I wanted to refresh 00:18:03.299 --> 00:18:08.496 my mind with Lama and uh I was in La Lache League anyway and by that time 00:18:08.529 --> 00:18:14.756 I was uh an anti Laleche league leader. So I was having women come to my 00:18:14.789 --> 00:18:22.039 home who I was helping. Uh, as a teacher, this just came naturally to me. 00:18:23.108 --> 00:18:25.108 Other than that, I think everything went well about 2 weeks before. The 00:18:29.150 --> 00:18:32.906 due date once more than 2 weeks, about 3 weeks before the due date, she 00:18:32.939 --> 00:18:37.436 decided to have a dress rehearsal. Uh, it was storming. We got about 14 00:18:37.469 --> 00:18:43.746 inches of snow and we drove down to. Clayton, Georgia to have the, we 00:18:43.779 --> 00:18:48.335 thought we, I thought I was in labor. And it turned out I had a bladder 00:18:48.368 --> 00:18:56.075 infection which caused labor-like symptoms. So I went back home, waited 2 00:18:56.108 --> 00:19:01.436 more weeks, and then we went for the real thing. And uh everything in the 00:19:01.469 --> 00:19:09.276 delivery went well this time. I was able to deliver her without any drugs. 00:19:09.309 --> 00:19:15.847 And uh with the first delivery, I'd had an episiotomy, which I still have 00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:21.785 problems with. Because the scar for some reason still causes pain. There 00:19:21.818 --> 00:19:28.026 was no episiotomy with Andrea. Uh, my husband was there to catch her. The 00:19:28.059 --> 00:19:31.627 doctor sat in the birthing room and I don't know what he was working on, 00:19:31.660 --> 00:19:35.147 but he was writing and he'd look over at me every once in a while, and, 00:19:35.180 --> 00:19:42.196 you know, he was just very patient, very kind. He let Dan cut the cord, uh. 00:19:42.229 --> 00:19:47.555 I wanted to go home as soon as possible. I do believe I ended up spending 00:19:47.588 --> 00:19:55.196 the night. Because she, her labor was more like 12 hours. But I didn't 00:19:55.229 --> 00:20:00.156 deliver to her till evening, and so they wanted her, um, they wanted to 00:20:00.189 --> 00:20:07.246 keep me overnight. Because the hospital was a little bit a ways away. Uh, 00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:12.956 she was 8 pounds, which is the biggest baby I've had. And it wasn't her 00:20:12.989 --> 00:20:16.315 head that was large. Her head and her chest were the same size, and of 00:20:16.348 --> 00:20:21.055 course, your arms are, the arms are with your chest, so. That was the part 00:20:21.088 --> 00:20:26.446 that was the hardest to deliver. And 00:20:26.479 --> 00:20:31.726 It, she, uh, she was born in the now, yeah, early evening. It was in 00:20:31.759 --> 00:20:36.516 February. So yeah, obviously we didn't, at least we didn't have a storm 00:20:36.549 --> 00:20:38.916 that night. 00:20:38.949 --> 00:20:45.206 Um, It was just my husband and I in the room and uh and then I took her 00:20:45.239 --> 00:20:50.926 home. She, we called her the barracuda because just jokingly because she 00:20:50.959 --> 00:20:56.726 nursed so fiercely that she brought blisters up on my nipples, which was a 00:20:56.759 --> 00:21:03.717 little painful. But she was very healthy and she slept like a dream. She 00:21:03.750 --> 00:21:10.276 would go, she would take like 23, and 4 hour naps. I would go in there to 00:21:10.309 --> 00:21:14.795 make sure she was alive because after Colin, I was absolutely sure no baby 00:21:14.828 --> 00:21:20.226 could ever sleep that long. I was sure that she would not be as 00:21:20.259 --> 00:21:25.785 intelligent as my son because my son was very bright. He was talking at 14 00:21:25.818 --> 00:21:30.347 months. He was doing all he was very intelligent and I thought she sleeps 00:21:30.380 --> 00:21:35.186 so much. I figured he was intelligent because he was awake all the time. 00:21:35.219 --> 00:21:41.026 But that's not true. She's now a doctor and uh has a very high IQ as he 00:21:41.059 --> 00:21:47.347 does too, but she She was a lot different. They were like night and day as 00:21:47.380 --> 00:21:53.585 babies and as growing up, they were like night and day difference. So can 00:21:53.618 --> 00:21:58.295 you talk about the um natural contractions versus the Pitocin contractions 00:21:58.328 --> 00:22:04.377 or what that is? Well, yeah. The Pitocin contractions, it just seemed like 00:22:04.410 --> 00:22:09.776 it was harder. That's all. I mean, I don't remember specifically. Both in 00:22:09.809 --> 00:22:16.607 all of my uh deliveries, I've had a lot of back labor, so my back ached a 00:22:16.640 --> 00:22:22.266 lot and it just seemed like there was no Getting away from it when they 00:22:22.299 --> 00:22:28.016 were using the Pitocin. Um, I don't know why. Uh, maybe part of it was 00:22:28.049 --> 00:22:35.545 because they gave me the Demerol too. But with uh I can remember I can't 00:22:35.578 --> 00:22:39.597 remember the labor with Andrea, the my second child, as much as I do the 00:22:39.630 --> 00:22:44.996 3rd and 4th because I'm trying to visualize where I was and I don't have 00:22:45.029 --> 00:22:49.637 the vision I have of labor is in the 3rd house that we lived in, not in 00:22:49.670 --> 00:22:53.756 the 2nd, so I don't really remember the contractions with her. I just 00:22:53.789 --> 00:23:01.246 remember that comparatively the labor was. It went sm more smoothly. I 00:23:01.279 --> 00:23:06.325 didn't have, I didn't lose control. I didn't ever, well, first of all, 00:23:06.358 --> 00:23:11.686 nobody was pushing me to take painkillers because the doctor was very He 00:23:11.719 --> 00:23:17.805 was Involved in my wanting to have an as natural a delivery as possible. 00:23:17.838 --> 00:23:25.137 So therefore, he didn't push me. And there was, you know, they. Never even 00:23:25.170 --> 00:23:31.176 offered uh what the what is it people have that an injection in the back. 00:23:31.209 --> 00:23:34.815 I'm trying to remember what it's called, but epidural. I absolutely did 00:23:34.848 --> 00:23:39.696 not want that and by the time they gave me the Temeral they had said that 00:23:39.729 --> 00:23:43.736 it was too late for that anyway. And with the other one they never offered 00:23:43.769 --> 00:23:51.769 it. I didn't want it and it worked out so well that. Aye, well, I was very 00:23:51.939 --> 00:23:56.467 happy with the whole situation and the only thing that was negative for me 00:23:56.500 --> 00:24:01.545 was that I wanted to go home sooner. I wanted to be uh with, with my other 00:24:01.578 --> 00:24:06.887 child too who was staying with a friend. 00:24:06.920 --> 00:24:14.835 Uh Is there um anything, any, um, words or emotions or anything that comes 00:24:14.868 --> 00:24:20.825 up when you reflect on the experience of that 1st and 2nd birth? Uh, I 00:24:20.858 --> 00:24:28.456 guess with the first birth, I felt like I was frustrated. Uh And I felt 00:24:28.489 --> 00:24:35.906 guilty that I had accepted drugs. And so with the second it was more of a 00:24:35.939 --> 00:24:42.226 sense of elation, you know, a sense of, of succeeding. I had done it. I 00:24:42.259 --> 00:24:47.107 had made it through a delivery. I didn't have to have a cesarean and I had 00:24:47.140 --> 00:24:51.706 made the right choices. The doctor was the right choice because the doctor 00:24:51.739 --> 00:24:57.295 in my hometown where I was living. I did have to push quite a while. But I 00:24:57.328 --> 00:25:02.416 think the other doctor may have jumped into uh an epidural or he may have 00:25:02.449 --> 00:25:06.736 jumped into a cesarean and I just felt more comfortable that this doctor 00:25:06.769 --> 00:25:10.815 was not gonna do that to me and after the experience I had with the first 00:25:10.848 --> 00:25:15.097 doctor, I was really determined that the second doctor was going to let me 00:25:15.130 --> 00:25:23.130 have my way, so to speak, and he did. It was all very successful. 00:25:23.900 --> 00:25:27.206 And that's it. OK. Were you also, when you labored in the second, were you 00:25:27.239 --> 00:25:32.097 able to move around in labor, or were you on the bed with this? This, uh, 00:25:32.130 --> 00:25:36.897 each one gets better in a sense the with each of my labors. The second 00:25:36.930 --> 00:25:42.256 labor, I do not remember walking around much. I only remember mostly being 00:25:42.289 --> 00:25:46.097 in the bed. I actually I did walk around in the hospital a bit now I, when 00:25:46.130 --> 00:25:51.555 I think back because I remember walking in the hallways. You know, and 00:25:51.588 --> 00:25:57.196 then it wasn't until the. You know, the baby was, well, I was fully 00:25:57.229 --> 00:26:01.857 dilated that I had to stay in the room in the bed. So I did walk around. 00:26:01.890 --> 00:26:07.906 I'd forgotten that. In the The other labor in New Zealand when I had my 00:26:07.939 --> 00:26:13.496 first child. I don't remember walking anywhere. I was kept in bed most of 00:26:13.529 --> 00:26:18.815 the time, and that was frustrating too. So like I said, there's a lot of 00:26:18.848 --> 00:26:23.387 frustrations with my first birth and I've had a lot of problems with my 00:26:23.420 --> 00:26:29.736 first child. I often wondered, did that high forceps delivery cause some 00:26:29.769 --> 00:26:34.456 sort of damage because he was always a difficult child, always a rebel, 00:26:34.489 --> 00:26:39.137 but it could be nothing. I mean, I, I have felt looking back that, you 00:26:39.170 --> 00:26:42.776 know, what did I do wrong with him that made him so different from my 00:26:42.809 --> 00:26:46.426 other three children could be just because he was the first born. I don't 00:26:46.459 --> 00:26:52.387 know. But anyway, but I, I felt like I not only was really healthy during 00:26:52.420 --> 00:26:57.867 , I, I felt like I was super mom with my second child. Don't ask me how to 00:26:57.900 --> 00:27:03.637 define that except that I felt really healthy, really, I I did the same 00:27:03.670 --> 00:27:09.597 things. I always made sure I didn't have any alcohol. I had good food, 00:27:09.630 --> 00:27:15.686 good vitamins, uh, I stayed healthy, I kept active, so it wasn't a matter 00:27:15.719 --> 00:27:21.506 of that I was more super mom with her. But somehow I I think it was 00:27:21.539 --> 00:27:25.156 probably the the birth experience that made me feel more like supermom 00:27:25.189 --> 00:27:30.176 because it, I, I was successful in my mind. 00:27:30.209 --> 00:27:33.496 And OK, 00:27:33.529 --> 00:27:38.486 should I go on to the 3rd 1? OK. So maybe give us like how much time has 00:27:38.519 --> 00:27:45.726 passed and that kind of planned, yeah. OK, with the 3rd birth. Uh, it was 00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:50.325 another 3 years, definitely planned because we want, we liked the spacing 00:27:50.358 --> 00:27:55.246 with the 1st 2. It helped to have a, a 3 year old who was already potty 00:27:55.279 --> 00:28:02.795 trained and you could talk to. Before I had a new baby. And then, uh, so 00:28:02.828 --> 00:28:08.085 she, he was born in January also so I had a January 15th baby, a February 00:28:08.118 --> 00:28:12.156 28th baby with the second one, and then a January 2nd baby with the third 00:28:12.189 --> 00:28:18.236 one, and this time I went a step further. I went to a birthing center and 00:28:18.269 --> 00:28:22.555 said what I wanted was to be able to have my other children and my family 00:28:22.588 --> 00:28:26.706 around me when the baby was born. I wasn't prepared to do a home birth 00:28:26.739 --> 00:28:31.647 because I knew I'd had some problems, but I wanted to have the baby and 00:28:31.680 --> 00:28:36.196 have everybody there and I wanted to leave that day so that was my. 00:28:36.229 --> 00:28:43.367 purpose behind the new This next baby. We were in a new city, so, and we 00:28:43.400 --> 00:28:49.996 moved there. In September, so I had to make, uh, I was already 5 months 00:28:50.029 --> 00:28:55.357 pregnant, so I had to make all these plans halfway through my pregnancy. 00:28:55.390 --> 00:29:03.315 Uh, well, actually, he wasn't due till late January. But he decided to 00:29:03.348 --> 00:29:08.805 come early. The pregnancy itself, I do remember having morning sickness 00:29:08.838 --> 00:29:12.967 with this pregnancy, but again, not severe. I just remember that certain 00:29:13.000 --> 00:29:21.000 smells bothered me. And so, and also as I gained weight, my, I had with 00:29:21.229 --> 00:29:28.637 the second pregnancy I had a diastasis that my muscles separated so that 00:29:28.670 --> 00:29:33.676 they were never really went back together again and so with the uh 00:29:33.709 --> 00:29:40.256 subsequent pregnancies I wore a girdle that would hold me. Because it was 00:29:40.289 --> 00:29:46.137 so weighing on me and I would, I, I also got the same rash that I'd had in 00:29:46.170 --> 00:29:51.006 the second pregnancy all over my abdomen. And so it was, there were some 00:29:51.039 --> 00:29:57.196 problems, but nothing major. Uh, also, Andrea, the 2nd child, did not want 00:29:57.229 --> 00:30:03.035 to wean. I nursed all my kids 2 years because of the fact that, uh, of the 00:30:03.068 --> 00:30:07.565 milk allergies in our family and because I believed in it. And she didn't 00:30:07.598 --> 00:30:14.097 want to win. And the other Lele Chili women assured me that she would wean 00:30:14.130 --> 00:30:18.617 when the baby was born because she would not like the taste of the milk, 00:30:18.650 --> 00:30:24.186 the way it changed. But that didn't happen, so she was, I was tandem 00:30:24.219 --> 00:30:28.627 nursing for a few months after the baby was born, which was kind of a 00:30:28.660 --> 00:30:32.026 negative experience. I never wanted to do that again because, but I didn't 00:30:32.059 --> 00:30:35.627 want to push her away either because I didn't want her to dislike her baby 00:30:35.660 --> 00:30:40.946 brother. So it was, but that, that part was a little frustrating and I 00:30:40.979 --> 00:30:47.436 determined I was never gonna have that situation again. Anyway, he, uh. 00:30:47.469 --> 00:30:52.176 The pregnancy otherwise was went well. I gained the right amount amount of 00:30:52.209 --> 00:30:57.065 weight. I went in and saw the, uh, midwife regularly like you would a 00:30:57.098 --> 00:31:05.098 doctor, and she told me. Around between the holidays. She said, pack your 00:31:05.328 --> 00:31:09.656 bag. I said, he's not due for another month. She said, pack your bag. I 00:31:09.689 --> 00:31:17.689 said, OK. And I packed my bag and it was rather funny because it was uh 00:31:18.209 --> 00:31:22.295 must have been January 1st, there was some football game on, and I was 00:31:22.328 --> 00:31:28.055 laying in our water bed with a 3 year old on one side and a 6-year-old on 00:31:28.088 --> 00:31:35.206 the other side, well, almost 3 and almost 6, and I felt wet and I said I 00:31:35.239 --> 00:31:40.295 yelled. But these two sleeping babies in my arm to my husband who's out in 00:31:40.328 --> 00:31:45.266 the living room. Because I couldn't get out of the bed. I was, yeah, we 00:31:45.299 --> 00:31:49.656 called it gone cast because in New Zealand when a sheep can't is pregnant 00:31:49.689 --> 00:31:55.226 and can't get up, they call it gone cast so because it needs help because 00:31:55.259 --> 00:31:58.706 they, you know, you get so big it's really hard to move around. Well she, 00:31:58.739 --> 00:32:04.016 uh, I, I was cast. I could not get out of the bed and I was wet. And you 00:32:04.049 --> 00:32:09.416 see it's, it's 5 minutes to to the end of this great game, whatever it was 00:32:09.449 --> 00:32:15.226 , and he's having to leave the game to come take care of me. I said I 00:32:15.259 --> 00:32:19.956 either wet the bed. Or the bed is leaking cause it was a water bed or I've 00:32:19.989 --> 00:32:26.055 broken my waters. One, you know, I don't know which, so. He got, he took 00:32:26.088 --> 00:32:30.256 the kids and put them in their beds and helped me get up and we decided 00:32:30.289 --> 00:32:36.166 that I had. Uh, you know, uh, my waters had broken. So this was midnight. 00:32:36.199 --> 00:32:41.825 Well, there was no contractions at this point, so I waited till 9 in the 00:32:41.858 --> 00:32:48.617 morning to go to the birthing center. And everything was arranged so that. 00:32:48.650 --> 00:32:54.325 My neighbor came with and she watched. Uh, the, the other two children so 00:32:54.358 --> 00:32:58.857 that Dan and I could be. Taking care of, I, you know, obviously my mind 00:32:58.890 --> 00:33:05.446 was on. Delivering a baby and Dan's mind was on me, so she took care of, 00:33:05.479 --> 00:33:13.479 uh, Colin and Andrea. I can remember vividly because Colin had gotten a an 00:33:13.489 --> 00:33:18.055 airplane for Christmas and Andrea had got something called the musical 00:33:18.088 --> 00:33:22.137 thing, and they were playing with these toys, their major Christmas 00:33:22.170 --> 00:33:27.467 present at the time. And Bonnie, my neighbor, was watching them and also 00:33:27.500 --> 00:33:31.476 coming in and checking on me. Yeah, cause she was very interested, 00:33:31.509 --> 00:33:36.347 obviously. And then uh 00:33:36.380 --> 00:33:42.516 I only I labored about 6 hours because he was, she was born in the 00:33:42.549 --> 00:33:49.387 afternoon, he was born about 4. In the afternoon. And the kids were right 00:33:49.420 --> 00:33:54.666 there. The only problem I had was he was a little bit blue when he was 00:33:54.699 --> 00:33:59.446 born. He was also very 3 weeks early, so they were a little concerned, but 00:33:59.479 --> 00:34:03.426 um, I figured that that was God's plan because his head was as big as 00:34:03.459 --> 00:34:08.066 Collin's by his due date. And God knew I couldn't deliver another baby 00:34:08.099 --> 00:34:16.099 that with a head that large, so he. He, he, when they, they gave me oxygen. 00:34:16.539 --> 00:34:20.885 Because he was having a hard time getting out. But other than that, there 00:34:20.918 --> 00:34:25.566 was no problems. And they said that I didn't tear it all, but there were 00:34:25.599 --> 00:34:32.376 some skid marks they called them. Whatever that means and uh. It was, it 00:34:32.409 --> 00:34:38.456 was even a better situation than it than the preceding birth because we 00:34:38.489 --> 00:34:43.506 were all there together. hugging each other and the midwife was, you know 00:34:43.539 --> 00:34:48.285 , a wonderful, wonderful, but she kept out of the way so it was, it was a 00:34:48.318 --> 00:34:55.115 family thing and uh. She I don't even remember her name. There was another 00:34:55.148 --> 00:35:01.526 one there too. They had me get into a bath afterwards, uh. And I nursed, 00:35:01.559 --> 00:35:06.486 you know, right away. And then we went home. And I never had, you know, 00:35:06.519 --> 00:35:12.477 there was no hospital stay at all, which was. Other than a home birth, it 00:35:12.510 --> 00:35:20.510 was the best possible situation for me. And he He did well. He was healthy. 00:35:21.289 --> 00:35:26.537 I think he was 7 pounds, 7 ounces, so he was good, a good size, but they 00:35:26.570 --> 00:35:31.615 still called him premature. Because something to do with his fingerprints 00:35:31.648 --> 00:35:35.537 were not developed, or something was not developed, but his lungs were 00:35:35.570 --> 00:35:42.356 fine, which is The important thing. And uh 00:35:42.389 --> 00:35:47.936 Uh That was it, I think that was it. My, none of my rest of my family was 00:35:47.969 --> 00:35:52.816 there. My other, my, my mother is, uh, lived in Michigan and we were in 00:35:52.849 --> 00:35:56.256 Florida at the time. 00:35:56.289 --> 00:36:04.155 He nursed well. He grew well, he slept well. And by that time, and with 00:36:04.188 --> 00:36:08.796 the first baby, when the second one came along, we had a family bed in 00:36:08.829 --> 00:36:14.155 which there was a crib with no side next to it where Colin slept. Andrea 00:36:14.188 --> 00:36:20.997 slept in the middle. Now we had 3 babies, so Colin did go to his own bed. 00:36:21.030 --> 00:36:25.925 Before the baby was ever born and then so we still only had. Too well, 00:36:25.958 --> 00:36:29.206 actually he was in bed with me, but he was used to falling asleep with me 00:36:29.239 --> 00:36:35.126 but then being moved into his own bed, so. How did the kids deal with the 00:36:35.159 --> 00:36:40.686 uh seeing the, the, I mean, some people might think children would be 00:36:40.719 --> 00:36:44.807 traumatized, but they were in their own world with their toys. They would 00:36:44.840 --> 00:36:50.936 come and look, they would, uh. They were Happy to see him, but there was, 00:36:50.969 --> 00:36:57.936 it was just treated so naturally and I can remember Colin saying one time 00:36:57.969 --> 00:37:03.006 , uh, We had taught, you know, we had taught him about eggs and sperm, and 00:37:03.039 --> 00:37:08.566 , you know, he didn't really understand, but he said something about um Ma 00:37:08.599 --> 00:37:13.885 , you had eggs for breakfast. I said, yes, he said, when the sperm gets to 00:37:13.918 --> 00:37:20.517 those eggs. We're gonna have another baby. So, you know, his understanding 00:37:20.550 --> 00:37:26.675 was a little different. We had taken them to movies of birth. And I 00:37:26.708 --> 00:37:31.635 remember his response was, oh, that baby is so dirty. I'm gonna give that 00:37:31.668 --> 00:37:38.276 baby a bath right away. So we got him a doll so that, you know, he could 00:37:38.309 --> 00:37:42.195 bathe his own baby because I was a little concerned that he might think he 00:37:42.228 --> 00:37:48.796 needed to bathe the baby, but I remember him being uh verbal about the 00:37:48.829 --> 00:37:53.756 whole birth process. Andrea at 3, I mean she was extremely verbal, but I 00:37:53.789 --> 00:38:00.077 don't remember her being. As interested although as she got older, she was 00:38:00.110 --> 00:38:04.865 the more interested of the two of them because I think just instinctive 00:38:04.898 --> 00:38:09.356 girl things where you know she would stick her baby under her shirt to 00:38:09.389 --> 00:38:15.537 nurse the baby while I was nursing my baby, yeah. Anyway 00:38:15.570 --> 00:38:20.456 Um, did he like the doll? Just out of curiosity. The funny thing about the 00:38:20.489 --> 00:38:25.695 doll was that he would pull the doll around by its leg. He wasn't exactly 00:38:25.728 --> 00:38:27.717 nurturing. 00:38:27.750 --> 00:38:34.467 He, you know, It, we gave our kids all dolls and trucks and trains and, 00:38:34.500 --> 00:38:38.925 you know, boy things, kitchen things. We tried to give them everything. 00:38:38.958 --> 00:38:44.445 The boys instinctively went to cars and trucks and treated their dolls 00:38:44.478 --> 00:38:49.365 like Like another truck that they carried around, the girls were much more 00:38:49.398 --> 00:38:57.398 nurturing. I don't know. I mean, It just seems to be the way it is. So 00:38:57.539 --> 00:39:03.526 Yeah, he, he wasn't exactly fatherly. We use the word motherly to mean 00:39:03.559 --> 00:39:11.559 nurturing, but fatherly doesn't have the same connotation. And he was Uh, 00:39:12.139 --> 00:39:16.666 he was, the, I don't remember him, he did give a baby a bath, but other 00:39:16.699 --> 00:39:20.385 than that, the baby usually sat around naked, but my girls did that too. 00:39:20.418 --> 00:39:25.456 The babies never had clothes on. Well, great, um, how about we transition 00:39:25.489 --> 00:39:32.586 to the 3rd, the 4th 1. With the 4th 1, what happened was very different 00:39:32.619 --> 00:39:36.467 because we couldn't make up our mind whether we wanted to go for 4. We had 00:39:36.500 --> 00:39:42.467 always said we would have between 3 and 5 children. And 00:39:42.500 --> 00:39:48.195 Nursing was most of the birth control between. But then I'd reach a point 00:39:48.228 --> 00:39:53.077 where I wasn't trusting it and so I would use some form of birth control. 00:39:53.110 --> 00:39:57.557 And we were using a form. It was more or less, uh, I'm, we're Catholic 00:39:57.590 --> 00:40:04.186 and we had been trying to follow the Catholic rules but of uh rhythm. 00:40:04.219 --> 00:40:11.956 Where you take temperatures and you. Uh You check the 00:40:11.989 --> 00:40:18.467 I can't think the the clarity of the mucus that is expelled and well 00:40:18.500 --> 00:40:23.077 anyway it didn't work we also used condoms part of the time, but we had 00:40:23.110 --> 00:40:28.827 didn't use uh the diaphragm or any of the the more complicated birth 00:40:28.860 --> 00:40:33.836 control methods and so instead of having a 3 year gap, we had a longer gap. 00:40:33.869 --> 00:40:39.986 It was 3 and almost 3 years and 4 months and my husband was out of town. 00:40:40.019 --> 00:40:43.675 And I, he, in fact, he was staying with my mother because he was doing 00:40:43.708 --> 00:40:48.517 something at a university in Northern Michigan and uh he called and I said 00:40:48.550 --> 00:40:54.796 , guess what? And he said, Uh, what? I said, we're having another baby, so 00:40:54.829 --> 00:40:57.845 I hope you want it for. 00:40:57.878 --> 00:41:01.736 Uh, it was only after that we made a more permanent decision about birth 00:41:01.769 --> 00:41:06.217 control because we did decide 4 was enough. But so she was, she was 00:41:06.250 --> 00:41:10.456 definitely a surprise. She wasn't very happy when she found out she was a 00:41:10.489 --> 00:41:16.115 surprise. Yeah, I think that cat's gonna be sick. They often oh I feel so 00:41:16.148 --> 00:41:24.148 bad before I think is this the sick. 00:41:24.429 --> 00:41:30.796 Got a paper towel, I guess sometimes they spit up fur balls or whatever. 00:41:30.829 --> 00:41:33.787 I don't think so. 00:41:33.820 --> 00:41:36.186 Anyway, 00:41:36.219 --> 00:41:41.537 So shall I, are we still going? No. Oh, we are still waiting. OK, I'm 00:41:41.570 --> 00:41:48.135 making. OK. Yeah, I keep moving my hands and it's just not making a noise. 00:41:48.168 --> 00:41:52.186 I'm not touching the tape. I know I'm such a hand talker, but that would 00:41:52.219 --> 00:41:55.675 be the hardest part for me too. 00:41:55.708 --> 00:42:03.708 OK. No, I have to remember where I was. Yeah, 00:42:04.188 --> 00:42:07.936 um, at that 4th when you made a more permanent birth control, right, I 00:42:07.969 --> 00:42:14.175 decided that we definitely had to have a more permanent. 00:42:14.208 --> 00:42:17.896 Method of birth control afterwards, but in the meantime it was a little 00:42:17.929 --> 00:42:22.365 more of an adjustment because with each other pregnancy I wanted a baby. I 00:42:22.398 --> 00:42:28.376 planned a baby. I was happy when I got pregnant. I wasn't unhappy to be 00:42:28.409 --> 00:42:35.135 pregnant because it was sort of, well, do we or don't we. But I wasn't 00:42:35.168 --> 00:42:37.206 That's. 00:42:37.239 --> 00:42:42.445 Uh, I wasn't unhappy to be pregnant, but it wasn't the same feeling of we 00:42:42.478 --> 00:42:47.186 are trying, we are trying, and now we're pregnant. It was, oh, OK, we're 00:42:47.219 --> 00:42:51.675 pregnant. I guess it was meant to be. And but the adjustment was pretty 00:42:51.708 --> 00:42:57.635 quick, but all of the pregnancy was very different because for whatever 00:42:57.668 --> 00:43:01.717 reason, and we were living in Gainesville, Florida by here by this point, 00:43:01.750 --> 00:43:06.675 and I had, I've developed allergies with after my first pregnancy in New 00:43:06.708 --> 00:43:14.267 Zealand, I developed allergies, uh, to pollen and things and then. In 00:43:14.300 --> 00:43:17.787 North Carolina, the first few years that we lived there, I did not have 00:43:17.820 --> 00:43:22.666 allergies, but then I developed them again. Well, we had been living in 00:43:22.699 --> 00:43:26.467 Florida for 3 years and that's about the time when I start developing 00:43:26.500 --> 00:43:32.986 allergies to the new place we live in. And so I ended up having a lot of 00:43:33.019 --> 00:43:38.666 allergy problems and it became asthma. And I didn't want to take any drugs 00:43:38.699 --> 00:43:43.546 or do anything different. So I was coping with the fact that I couldn't 00:43:43.579 --> 00:43:48.767 breathe very well. I did see the doctor about it and they gave me 00:43:48.800 --> 00:43:56.436 albuterol as an asthma inhaler. And but the 1st 3 months. I'm not only was 00:43:56.469 --> 00:44:00.956 sick, but I coughed and coughed and coughed until I'd throw up, which was 00:44:00.989 --> 00:44:04.717 not a pleasant experience. I couldn't control the coughing. I didn't 00:44:04.750 --> 00:44:10.416 realize then that the coughing was sort of an an asthma thing. So I didn't 00:44:10.449 --> 00:44:13.695 know that I had asthma in the beginning, I just knew that I would cough 00:44:13.728 --> 00:44:19.807 until I would throw up. And I went to the birthing center wanting to have 00:44:19.840 --> 00:44:26.655 a baby there again. And they said, you're wheezing, and I said. Oh, you 00:44:26.688 --> 00:44:32.095 know, I just wasn't aware they made me see a uh a specialist for a 00:44:32.128 --> 00:44:36.095 pulmonary specialist, and he said, I can hear you wheezing from across the 00:44:36.128 --> 00:44:41.416 room, you know, you're and so we're going to put you on, uh, an asthma 00:44:41.449 --> 00:44:49.006 inhaler so I did start with an inhaler. The birthing center said That they 00:44:49.039 --> 00:44:53.247 , because I'd had oxygen with the first uh with the last child, they were 00:44:53.280 --> 00:44:57.635 fearful that that I developed what seemed to be asthma that they might 00:44:57.668 --> 00:45:04.557 have to consider whether at at 8 months whether they would actually allow 00:45:04.590 --> 00:45:08.486 me to give birth in the birthing center. Well, since David had been born 00:45:08.519 --> 00:45:12.885 at 8 months and 1 week, I didn't want to wait that long to make that sort 00:45:12.918 --> 00:45:17.615 of decision. So I went and found a doctor who was willing to, they now had 00:45:17.648 --> 00:45:23.506 a birthing room in the hospital. So I decided that I was not gonna have a 00:45:23.539 --> 00:45:27.807 birth, birth center uh delivery, but I would go to the birthing room. The 00:45:27.840 --> 00:45:33.577 doctor I met and talked with. Said that uh there was no problem that I 00:45:33.610 --> 00:45:36.776 could deliver. I could have the kids there. I could have everything else 00:45:36.809 --> 00:45:40.807 that I'd had at the birthing center, it just would be in the hospital. In 00:45:40.840 --> 00:45:48.840 case there were problems. So I continued. And My asthma got worse. My 00:45:49.389 --> 00:45:54.095 in-laws came to visit. And I don't remember exactly. This was in the 2nd 00:45:54.128 --> 00:45:59.997 trimester, I believe. I know I've gotten past the 1st trimester. I was my 00:46:00.030 --> 00:46:05.236 husband works as an EMT and was out on an ambulance call. He is that's not 00:46:05.269 --> 00:46:10.356 his job, it's his vocation, so to speak, and he was on an ambulance call 00:46:10.389 --> 00:46:16.977 and I went out to dinner with my in-laws and the kids. So I had 3 kids and 00:46:17.010 --> 00:46:21.095 my in-laws and I couldn't eat because I couldn't breathe. And I would try 00:46:21.128 --> 00:46:25.977 to eat something and I would choke, I mean, I couldn't, you don't realize 00:46:26.010 --> 00:46:30.287 you breathe while you're eating. And I just couldn't get enough air, so I 00:46:30.320 --> 00:46:35.967 kept going to the bathroom and trying to cough and trying to, and, and I 00:46:36.000 --> 00:46:40.767 had, didn't have my asthma inhaler with me. So I went and uh I said to my 00:46:40.800 --> 00:46:46.206 in-laws, I can't. I can't do this. I have to go home. I, I have to get my 00:46:46.239 --> 00:46:51.206 asthma inhaler and, you know, I'm practically choking and uh everybody 00:46:51.239 --> 00:46:54.566 thought I was in labor. I was only about 5 months along, but, you know, 00:46:54.599 --> 00:47:02.599 with the 4th baby at 3 months along. We went to Vegas Because I knew I was 00:47:03.760 --> 00:47:08.126 going to, I, I stayed home with my children. And never, I didn't get 00:47:08.159 --> 00:47:13.365 babysitters very often. I didn't work. I stayed home all the time. I did 00:47:13.398 --> 00:47:19.385 some uh. Some out of the homework like uh I sold Amley for a while. I sold 00:47:19.418 --> 00:47:25.675 Discovery toys. I sold Discovery toys. Oh 00:47:25.708 --> 00:47:29.635 yeah, yeah. I'm sort of getting this out of order again, but I guess 00:47:29.668 --> 00:47:36.595 you'll know it's good, yeah, OK, I guess that was it. OK, I, uh. I worked 00:47:36.628 --> 00:47:40.477 a little bit from the home, but for the most part I was home with the kids 00:47:40.510 --> 00:47:45.155 all the time and when I looked into, you know, I, I sold Discovery toys, I 00:47:45.188 --> 00:47:49.717 sold Amway and tried to make a little bit of money, but I realized that 00:47:49.750 --> 00:47:55.195 with the 4th pregnancy I was going to be home for another 3 years at least 00:47:55.228 --> 00:47:59.477 because that was my belief that I would stay, or maybe 5 because I never 00:47:59.510 --> 00:48:04.405 did go back to work until the youngest was in kindergarten. And it's 00:48:04.438 --> 00:48:08.267 because it's what I wanted to do, but at the same time, I was feeling a 00:48:08.300 --> 00:48:14.486 little cooped up and so my husband was going to Las Vegas for a convention 00:48:14.519 --> 00:48:20.006 and I went with him. I was 3 months pregnant. And I left my 3 year old for 00:48:20.039 --> 00:48:24.287 the first time with, with friends and all, it was quite an arrangement to 00:48:24.320 --> 00:48:27.526 get all of them with different people because we didn't have family close 00:48:27.559 --> 00:48:33.217 by. Our family is in Michigan and Wisconsin and we lived in Florida. And 00:48:33.250 --> 00:48:38.307 we so we made all these arrangements and I was, I remember it because I 00:48:38.340 --> 00:48:42.747 was 3 months pregnant and I was being put in the front of lines because of 00:48:42.780 --> 00:48:47.706 my pregnancy because I had, I mean, I, I didn't even know I was pregnant. 00:48:47.739 --> 00:48:52.095 My neighbor asked me if I was pregnant and I because I started to pooch 00:48:52.128 --> 00:48:56.655 out immediately and I said, I remember what I was wearing the day she 00:48:56.688 --> 00:49:02.517 asked me if I was pregnant and I said. I don't think so. Wait a minute. I 00:49:02.550 --> 00:49:07.517 could be. It was like that's. You know, I didn't even think about it 00:49:07.550 --> 00:49:11.037 because it hadn't been a planned pregnancy. Every other time I knew 00:49:11.070 --> 00:49:19.070 exactly when I was pregnant. So anyway, uh. I, I expanded earlier and 00:49:19.829 --> 00:49:25.675 Going back to the story about the asthma, I was in the restaurant. I was 5 00:49:25.708 --> 00:49:31.316 months pregnant, but I looked full term to some people. I was a lot bigger 00:49:31.349 --> 00:49:36.546 when I was full term and The um 00:49:36.579 --> 00:49:39.986 Everybody was looking at me because I was sort of standing over the chair 00:49:40.019 --> 00:49:43.827 , but it was because I couldn't breathe. They thought I was going into 00:49:43.860 --> 00:49:48.345 labor, so we hustled out of the rest got them to bring our food. I'm never 00:49:48.378 --> 00:49:53.186 one to waste anything, so we had to take our food with us. We drove home 00:49:53.219 --> 00:49:58.816 from the restaurant. And of course these these this was pre-cell phones, 00:49:58.849 --> 00:50:01.865 so we couldn't get a hold of my husband. I knew I wasn't going into labor 00:50:01.898 --> 00:50:06.467 but I could not breathe. Colin, who would have been 9 years old by then, 00:50:06.500 --> 00:50:10.385 ran into the house and got my asthma inhaler because I said this is too 00:50:10.418 --> 00:50:13.905 bad. I will not be able to get out of this with a hat. I mean, I was 00:50:13.938 --> 00:50:19.717 talking between breaths and it felt like I was under water. I felt like I 00:50:19.750 --> 00:50:23.865 was, I mean I that's obviously impossible, but I felt like I was breathing 00:50:23.898 --> 00:50:30.155 through water. And I said, this won't be enough. I have to go to the 00:50:30.188 --> 00:50:34.126 emergency room. So when my husband's out working on the ambulance, I'm 00:50:34.159 --> 00:50:39.456 going to the emergency room. And I, they gave me 3 shots of epinephrine 00:50:39.489 --> 00:50:44.706 before I pulled out of the asthma attack. And after that, I had to start 00:50:44.739 --> 00:50:49.706 taking theophylline. Which is a drug that's no longer used for the most 00:50:49.739 --> 00:50:54.146 part because it has terrible side effects in my opinion and in most 00:50:54.179 --> 00:50:58.586 people's opinion. I don't know what they use now but uh well there's all 00:50:58.619 --> 00:51:05.155 kinds of things, but at that time you uh it's a a systemic drug that you 00:51:05.188 --> 00:51:11.577 have to have uh. Blood draws to determine the level in your blood, and 00:51:11.610 --> 00:51:15.816 they would give me a certain amount that I'd be taking daily. It would 00:51:15.849 --> 00:51:23.849 cause nausea, insomnia, and palpitations. So I would be up on, I could 00:51:24.510 --> 00:51:28.336 remember doing laundry in the middle of the night. I would watch TV in the 00:51:28.369 --> 00:51:32.175 middle of the night, I would read books, I would, you know, and then I had 00:51:32.208 --> 00:51:37.405 to face the day with 3 kids. You know, but luckily Pallen was in school 00:51:37.438 --> 00:51:42.816 and Andrea was in school, so I really only, and this would have been, she 00:51:42.849 --> 00:51:47.856 was born in May, so it was during the school year so I didn't really have 00:51:47.889 --> 00:51:52.856 to deal with 3 kids all day long. I just had the 3 year old and he was 00:51:52.889 --> 00:51:59.115 fairly well behaved, but he's still a kid. But I did have a lot of issues 00:51:59.148 --> 00:52:05.666 with that pregnancy because of the asthma and then then as the. Uh, the 00:52:05.699 --> 00:52:12.017 drug would settle in. I would The 3 symptoms that I was having would go 00:52:12.050 --> 00:52:15.756 away and the wheezing would come back. Then I'd go back and they'd up my 00:52:15.789 --> 00:52:20.956 dose. Then the palpitations and the insomnia and the nausea would come 00:52:20.989 --> 00:52:25.166 back. And uh, but I'd be breathing better. And then I would go through 00:52:25.199 --> 00:52:28.666 that and I went, I, I mean, it just was for the next couple of months, 00:52:28.699 --> 00:52:36.227 that's what I did until I managed to Reach the right level. So it was 00:52:36.260 --> 00:52:39.146 obvious I wasn't gonna have this baby in a birthing center even if I 00:52:39.179 --> 00:52:43.195 wanted to change my mind because of my asthma. 00:52:43.228 --> 00:52:48.356 Uh, luckily I don't have asthma anymore, but. Uh, just telling this story 00:52:48.389 --> 00:52:52.236 makes me feel like I can't breathe. It's kind of weird. I feel like I need 00:52:52.269 --> 00:52:58.546 to stop and take a good long breath. Anyway, so. 00:52:58.579 --> 00:53:03.956 This next, the next part would then be again I had a lot of rash on my 00:53:03.989 --> 00:53:11.526 belly. I had a very large Uh Extended abdomen, but I didn't gain weight 00:53:11.559 --> 00:53:14.967 most places elsewhere. Whereas with the first child, I lost the weight in 00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:20.195 2 weeks. With the second child, I lost that weight in 6 weeks. Uh, with 00:53:20.228 --> 00:53:25.756 the 3rd child, I lost the weight in 3 months. With the 4th child, I kept 00:53:25.789 --> 00:53:32.017 some of the weight on. But that's OK cause I was always underweight. So, 00:53:32.050 --> 00:53:34.655 um, 00:53:34.688 --> 00:53:41.356 When I went into labor, my mother came this time for the first time. I oh 00:53:41.389 --> 00:53:47.606 I have to go back a little bit. I had With every, I've always had a garden. 00:53:47.639 --> 00:53:51.175 And in Gainesville, Florida, we didn't have a yard big enough for a 00:53:51.208 --> 00:53:58.095 garden. But we rented a plot out at the university. And I went in, I was 00:53:58.128 --> 00:54:03.227 in the garden. Gardening with the kids with me when I felt I was going 00:54:03.260 --> 00:54:07.925 into labor and this was in April. She wasn't due till June. My husband was 00:54:07.958 --> 00:54:12.166 with me and so we went to the hospital and that was the first time I'd 00:54:12.199 --> 00:54:16.077 ever had a sonogram. And they asked me at the time, do you want to know 00:54:16.110 --> 00:54:21.307 what the, what you're having? Because everything was fine and I didn't 00:54:21.340 --> 00:54:26.586 deliver her that in April. But uh I said no, no, I haven't, I haven't 00:54:26.619 --> 00:54:29.787 known for the others, so I might as well not know for this one. So I 00:54:29.820 --> 00:54:37.820 didn't find out until she was born. But uh Uh, if I can go back again, 00:54:37.978 --> 00:54:42.175 another thing that was different is that I was 35 by this time. With my 00:54:42.208 --> 00:54:48.186 first I was 26. 2nd I was 29, the third I was 32, and with the fourth one 00:54:48.219 --> 00:54:55.155 I was 35, and one of the things they immediately said is the danger of uh. 00:54:55.188 --> 00:55:03.188 Uh, Down syndrome. And They said they wanted to do uh amniocentesis, and 00:55:04.039 --> 00:55:08.646 I said why and they said because we would like to to determine if the baby 00:55:08.679 --> 00:55:12.727 has Down syndrome. I said what would you do if the baby had Down syndrome 00:55:12.760 --> 00:55:18.307 ? Well then you could abort. I said, I absolutely will not abort. My 00:55:18.340 --> 00:55:24.595 sister has not a Down syndrome baby, but a mentally retarded child who is 00:55:24.628 --> 00:55:32.345 a, a joy. I mean, yes, she is slow and simple and They have to be at work 00:55:32.378 --> 00:55:37.537 with her, but I wouldn't it's part of my part of my religion and part of 00:55:37.570 --> 00:55:42.345 of who I am that I would not have aborted a child and I had read that 00:55:42.378 --> 00:55:49.486 there is a cer a small percentage of chance of abortion or spontaneous 00:55:49.519 --> 00:55:54.307 abortion or miscarriage if you do an amniocentesis. I said I'm not going 00:55:54.340 --> 00:55:59.467 to take the risk. When I wouldn't abort anyway, and I was they said, well 00:55:59.500 --> 00:56:03.086 , wouldn't you want to know? I said no, I don't want to know for nine 00:56:03.119 --> 00:56:07.146 months that I'm going to have a baby that has, I would, I just want to be 00:56:07.179 --> 00:56:11.586 happy with the pregnancy and if, if something happens and there is a 00:56:11.619 --> 00:56:18.206 problem, we'll face it when the time comes. That's just the way it is. So 00:56:18.239 --> 00:56:24.066 Uh, when she nearly came early, it did start me to worry. And then I had 00:56:24.099 --> 00:56:30.155 to start garden, stop gardening. Because that was a lot of extra effort to 00:56:30.188 --> 00:56:34.717 go out, uh, you know, several miles drive out there and, and work in the 00:56:34.750 --> 00:56:41.816 garden. So my garden didn't get. Taken care of for the next 2 months and I 00:56:41.849 --> 00:56:46.615 went out there after she was born. And there were things growing. It 00:56:46.648 --> 00:56:51.655 worked. It went, you know, there were a lot of weeds too. But uh anyway, 00:56:51.688 --> 00:56:55.916 gardening was always important to me for some funny reason. I guess I like 00:56:55.949 --> 00:57:03.949 to grow things. And As far as the rest of the pregnancy then? It went as 00:57:05.309 --> 00:57:09.365 the same. I did have to use my asthma inhaler. I was still using it on the 00:57:09.398 --> 00:57:13.486 day I went into labor. I was, you know, on theophylline, but I was using 00:57:13.519 --> 00:57:20.057 the rescue inhaler of either albuterol or Ventolin periodically. 00:57:20.090 --> 00:57:27.436 And That one I remember. Uh, it was in the morning that I went, that I, my 00:57:27.469 --> 00:57:35.217 waters broke. And in the last 2. Pregnancies when I, when my water broke, 00:57:35.250 --> 00:57:39.936 it was what they called a high kick. I, I think that's a joke, but that 00:57:39.969 --> 00:57:46.345 the water broke high, leaked out, and then the, the, uh. 00:57:46.378 --> 00:57:49.626 Plus the, the lining. 00:57:49.659 --> 00:57:56.456 fell down and covered so that the water no longer was leaking out so that 00:57:56.489 --> 00:57:59.796 They couldn't tell that the water had broken. They just had to take my 00:57:59.829 --> 00:58:06.557 word for it. And I remember with, with David, uh, who was my 3rd child. 00:58:06.590 --> 00:58:13.566 They doubted that my water had broken. And I said Well, I didn't wet the 00:58:13.599 --> 00:58:19.756 bed. But with, with uh Erica, they also doubted the nurses when I called, 00:58:19.789 --> 00:58:24.827 you know, oh well, when they examined me, no. Everything is intact. It's 00:58:24.860 --> 00:58:31.506 just open, but there's no leakage. So anyway, that was sort of frustrating. 00:58:31.539 --> 00:58:35.146 It's like, come on, I know what I'm doing. This is my 4th time around. I 00:58:35.179 --> 00:58:40.557 know that this is my water breaking. I'm not making this up. So I did, uh. 00:58:40.590 --> 00:58:45.077 At 9 o'clock I did go in. No, I didn't go into the hospital. I did go in 00:58:45.110 --> 00:58:49.595 to be checked, but I came back home. It's, it's kind of funny because with 00:58:49.628 --> 00:58:53.695 the last two, because you have older children, I can remember them 00:58:53.728 --> 00:58:59.445 watching TV while I was in labor and I would be standing over the table 00:58:59.478 --> 00:59:03.376 with my, you know, with somebody rubbing my back and going through the 00:59:03.409 --> 00:59:07.057 labor contractions and singing my little song and breathe doing my 00:59:07.090 --> 00:59:11.626 breathing and I could hear Pete's dragon in the other room. That's, and 00:59:11.659 --> 00:59:15.467 I'll always remember with my 4th child that Pete's Dragon was the movie 00:59:15.500 --> 00:59:19.615 that the kids were watching. So we had to wait till Pete's Dragon was over 00:59:19.648 --> 00:59:24.017 before we could go in to the hospital. And that would have been about 3 or 00:59:24.050 --> 00:59:30.135 4 in the afternoon we went into the hospital. And again we took. Let me 00:59:30.168 --> 00:59:37.195 think. No, we only took the older two, I believe, David. with each of the 00:59:37.228 --> 00:59:41.477 children I bought them a special gift if they had to stay behind with one 00:59:41.510 --> 00:59:48.796 who was a doctor sat with David it was an incredible Hulk or some some toy 00:59:48.829 --> 00:59:53.546 that he got and he went to a friend's house, but the nine year old and the 00:59:53.579 --> 00:59:58.046 six year old came to the hospital. They did not want the 3 year old there. 00:59:58.079 --> 01:00:04.206 And they Uh, while I was laboring, they were a lot spent a lot of time 01:00:04.239 --> 01:00:09.365 watching TV at home. They weren't allowed to watch some of the programs 01:00:09.398 --> 01:00:13.247 that they watched that night, and they remember that to this day. They 01:00:13.280 --> 01:00:17.126 were allowed to watch, I think it was Mr. T or something like that. It was 01:00:17.159 --> 01:00:21.845 not a, a program. I mean, I carefully monitored their television. They 01:00:21.878 --> 01:00:27.066 watched children, child appropriate things and They just thought it was, 01:00:27.099 --> 01:00:31.356 that's what they most remember about my labor was that they got to watch 01:00:31.389 --> 01:00:36.467 TV, they got to watch something that wasn't allowed at home. And one of 01:00:36.500 --> 01:00:42.896 the things that I remember the most is that I realized about 5 o'clock, 6 01:00:42.929 --> 01:00:47.787 o'clock at night, that every time I use my asthma inhaler, my labor was 01:00:47.820 --> 01:00:53.006 stopping. And it was slowing down and I thought this is gonna take forever. 01:00:53.039 --> 01:00:58.747 So my 4th labor actually took longer than my 2nd and 3rd babies because 01:00:58.780 --> 01:01:03.626 of the fact that I was using the asthma inhaler to breathe better. And 01:01:03.659 --> 01:01:08.945 then the labor would then everything would slow up and I would end up. And 01:01:08.978 --> 01:01:14.267 I did a lot of walking around. I remember with that labor a lot of walking 01:01:14.300 --> 01:01:16.467 and 01:01:16.500 --> 01:01:23.057 My mother was there Which was uh uh new for me because she had never been 01:01:23.090 --> 01:01:28.376 at any of my other deliveries. She's a nurse, so it was a good thing, you 01:01:28.409 --> 01:01:31.916 know, she wasn't going to be passing out or well, I don't think any woman 01:01:31.949 --> 01:01:37.186 would pass out. They've all been given birth, but uh. She helped with the 01:01:37.219 --> 01:01:45.037 kids and she stood by my head like my husband. And We did name Uh, Erica, 01:01:45.070 --> 01:01:49.486 Erica Lucille, Lucille is my mother's name. When she was born because my 01:01:49.519 --> 01:01:56.026 mother was right there. And I remember 01:01:56.059 --> 01:02:01.816 That my doctor went on vacation the week that I had this baby. He went. I 01:02:01.849 --> 01:02:08.175 was due June 7th, and he said he was gonna be back June 5th. I said I had 01:02:08.208 --> 01:02:14.695 the last 13 weeks early. He said, Oh, I'll be back. You're all right. And 01:02:14.728 --> 01:02:19.135 so I had a totally different doctor, somebody I had never seen before, 01:02:19.168 --> 01:02:25.126 delivered. He was really nice. I do remember he was black, not that that's 01:02:25.159 --> 01:02:31.115 significant. He just was such a sweet man. And I remember him telling me 01:02:31.148 --> 01:02:36.997 that I should be teaching women how to give birth because I was such, I 01:02:37.030 --> 01:02:42.095 did so well. So in, you know, I didn't get to have another home, I mean, 01:02:42.128 --> 01:02:45.017 didn't ever get to have a home delivery. I didn't get to go back to the 01:02:45.050 --> 01:02:50.856 birth center, but it was a real positive experience because Erica was 01:02:50.889 --> 01:02:56.425 small. She wasn't smaller than Colin, but she had a little teeny head. And 01:02:56.458 --> 01:02:59.666 she, she probably was about 7 pounds. I can't remember now without looking 01:02:59.699 --> 01:03:07.206 it up. And she was The very easiest one to actually deliver her her labor 01:03:07.239 --> 01:03:12.686 was just as intense and actually longer than the two previous ones because 01:03:12.719 --> 01:03:18.646 she, because of my asthma, but she was easy to deliver. I mean, I hardly 01:03:18.679 --> 01:03:24.967 pushed at all, which was nice because I had pushed for hours with Colin 01:03:25.000 --> 01:03:29.405 and I remember I pushed an hour or two with Andrea and I, and the same 01:03:29.438 --> 01:03:33.956 with David. So the fact that she came in like 15 minutes once I started 01:03:33.989 --> 01:03:39.606 pushing was. A positive thing and then like I said, having the doctor whom 01:03:39.639 --> 01:03:43.916 I never met before, say, I don't have to do anything. You did it all, you 01:03:43.949 --> 01:03:47.236 should be teaching people how to do this. I said, thank you very much, but 01:03:47.269 --> 01:03:52.787 this is my last. I don't think I'll be teaching anybody. Any anything more 01:03:52.820 --> 01:04:00.405 , maybe how to nurse them. Um And as far as there were no complications 01:04:00.438 --> 01:04:03.925 afterwards, but I did have to stay in the hospital because she wasn't born 01:04:03.958 --> 01:04:08.566 until 10 o'clock at night and by that time the pediatrician was gone and 01:04:08.599 --> 01:04:14.445 they don't let you have the uh take the baby home unless the pediatrician 01:04:14.478 --> 01:04:19.945 has checked over the baby and I wasn't gonna go home without the baby. So 01:04:19.978 --> 01:04:23.267 my husband went home with the other kids and I stayed in the hospital and 01:04:23.300 --> 01:04:27.546 I'm just shivering right now because I can remember how cold I was 01:04:27.579 --> 01:04:32.385 afterwards and I don't remember that in all the other births, but I 01:04:32.418 --> 01:04:40.327 remember I was just trembling and I don't know why um. I did have the only 01:04:40.360 --> 01:04:47.256 other slight problems I had was uh. Slight hemorrhaging. And I remember 01:04:47.289 --> 01:04:51.776 when I did go home and I picked up my 3 year old who was 33 years and 01:04:51.809 --> 01:04:57.936 almost 3.5. That I could feel a clot. Move down the birth canal, you know 01:04:57.969 --> 01:05:02.885 , uh, so I still was hemorrhaging and I had to say I can't pick him up 01:05:02.918 --> 01:05:07.077 anymore because, you know, he was a good sized kid. And my mother took 01:05:07.110 --> 01:05:12.477 over from that. Another thing I remember distinctly was my mother was all 01:05:12.510 --> 01:05:20.510 concerned because my uterus was external to my muscles. And so. It would 01:05:20.719 --> 01:05:28.296 be outside the diastasis had really opened up, of course, and. Uh, but 01:05:28.329 --> 01:05:33.095 when I was nursing, I could feel it tight tightening down and she said, 01:05:33.128 --> 01:05:37.845 you're gonna have to have surgery for that. And I said, If I do, I do, but 01:05:37.878 --> 01:05:42.327 if I don't, if I can get it to go back the way, you know, and it, it took 01:05:42.360 --> 01:05:47.977 probably a week. And after, I mean, I was physically tucking it back 01:05:48.010 --> 01:05:53.776 inside. For about a week and then it started. Closing up, but it never, I 01:05:53.809 --> 01:06:01.046 mean, well, my belly will never be the same after having 4 kids. So, but, 01:06:01.079 --> 01:06:08.836 um, Erica was probably, she was the 2nd in weight. And She was an easy 01:06:08.869 --> 01:06:15.236 baby, a little more colicky than her two previous siblings, but not 01:06:15.269 --> 01:06:19.776 anything I couldn't handle, you know, she was fairly easy and by that time 01:06:19.809 --> 01:06:25.876 , and I could, I, we went to Disney World not when she was itty bitty, but 01:06:25.909 --> 01:06:29.236 when she was 6 months old and I just tucked her under my shirt and stood 01:06:29.269 --> 01:06:33.356 in line with the kids and nursed her while I was waiting for to get on the 01:06:33.389 --> 01:06:38.057 rides and that was. Totally different thing from your first child where 01:06:38.090 --> 01:06:42.296 with your first child, everything is so strange. By the time you get to 4 01:06:42.329 --> 01:06:47.796 , I can't imagine what people do when they get to 9 or 10. 01:06:47.829 --> 01:06:51.836 Maybe they, they, but they do, the older ones help a lot because they 01:06:51.869 --> 01:06:58.956 entertain the baby and so it's a lot easier. With the 4th 1 Then it was 01:06:58.989 --> 01:07:03.925 with the others. I don't remember if there's anything else I should say. I 01:07:03.958 --> 01:07:08.037 think you're doing great. Um, can you maybe reflect on your birth 01:07:08.070 --> 01:07:12.247 experiences and talk about them as a whole or is there anything when you 01:07:12.280 --> 01:07:19.977 look back? Well, I think that as far as the birth experiences probably. 01:07:20.010 --> 01:07:26.916 Well, definitely Colin was. The least Enjoyable experience because 01:07:26.949 --> 01:07:30.267 everything I had planned went out the window. I was induced, which I 01:07:30.300 --> 01:07:35.307 didn't want. I, I took drugs which I didn't want and then I was put out 01:07:35.340 --> 01:07:39.385 and wasn't awake and aware during that, so there's no way that that was a 01:07:39.418 --> 01:07:46.787 good experience, but I had a baby and I remember distinctly feeling the 01:07:46.820 --> 01:07:52.997 feeling that. I don't have exhilaration that I produced this baby. I mean 01:07:53.030 --> 01:07:58.767 , OK, I didn't see him come out and all that, but this is mine and The 01:07:58.800 --> 01:08:03.885 feeling of loving him. I mean, I bonded with him immediately for whatever 01:08:03.918 --> 01:08:09.126 reason. I mean, just right away, and he, even though he was my most 01:08:09.159 --> 01:08:13.885 difficult child. Uh, I remember, I remember it feeling like falling in 01:08:13.918 --> 01:08:18.885 love again. This is, and I, I remember that with each of them, but it's 01:08:18.918 --> 01:08:26.857 more. More so with the first because he was the first. And so that the 01:08:26.890 --> 01:08:30.656 after, uh, you know, I was in pain because of my tailbone. I was in pain 01:08:30.689 --> 01:08:37.416 because of the incision or the episiotomy, but I still remember that 01:08:37.449 --> 01:08:43.376 feeling of uh uh elation of love and that it's all over. I've, I, I have 01:08:43.409 --> 01:08:51.409 done this with the 2nd and 3rd. Uh, you know, they were. Well planned, 01:08:52.168 --> 01:08:56.857 well orchestrated, and worked out exactly the way I wanted everything to 01:08:56.890 --> 01:09:01.706 work out. With the 4th, because of my asthma, was a little more difficult 01:09:01.739 --> 01:09:05.987 , the pregnancy was more difficult, but the birthing, it would have been 01:09:06.020 --> 01:09:10.925 better if I hadn't had asthma. But it wasn't, I mean, it wasn't anything I 01:09:10.958 --> 01:09:16.915 had control of, but once I realized that I had. That the asthma, asthma 01:09:16.948 --> 01:09:23.424 inhaler was causing me to slow down the birth process. Uh, I just said, 01:09:23.457 --> 01:09:26.705 well then I'll have to have oxygen. If you need to give me oxygen, but I'm 01:09:26.738 --> 01:09:32.135 not gonna Take another 10 hours to have this baby. I do remember, uh, you 01:09:32.168 --> 01:09:37.175 know, they say you forget the pain and that's somewhat true. I have had 01:09:37.208 --> 01:09:42.777 back pain since I've had 3 back surgeries and 01:09:42.810 --> 01:09:48.027 The back pain I, you know, that reminds me of the back pain I had during 01:09:48.060 --> 01:09:54.446 labor. It's very intense and for me it was, you know, low back pain and 01:09:54.479 --> 01:09:58.506 Ultimately, I've had a lot of low back pain. And maybe, no, I don't think 01:09:58.539 --> 01:10:03.425 it had anything to do with the babies. It has to do with my spine, but uh 01:10:03.458 --> 01:10:11.458 . I mean, I don't regret having any of the babies, obviously. Uh 01:10:12.298 --> 01:10:15.976 I don't know what else I can say. You know, I think you're good. I think 01:10:16.009 --> 01:10:21.208 you did great. Are we good, Ashley? Oh wait, singing his song.