Noble cause for one thing. OK, so I'm gonna start the recording. I'm
going to introduce myself. This is Boris Solis interview interviewing
Tiffany Ramirez on June 20, 2016 at 7:20 p.m. for the Creative Push
project. OK. So, if you can um take us back to like as early as the
conception. Was it planned? Conception was not planned. Uh, we had been
dating for about a year. He was in a very horrible relationship, so he
does have an older son, and we were just filling it out. Um, it was late
October, early November, and then finally, December, January, I started
feeling weird and I was like, something's not right. So I took a pregnancy
test and it came back positive and then we decided, OK, what are we gonna
do? So I told my parents, he told his parents, and we decided to get
married soon after that. So I was married to him before uh Christian was
born. I
love pregnancy at first, um, I Always was told I couldn't get pregnant
because I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. So it was very hard. At about
3 months during my course of pregnancy, I stood up and blood came gushing
out of me. And I was rushed to the emergency room and they put me then on
a high risk pregnancy and total bed rest so I got put on family medical
leave immediately. I couldn't work anymore and that was devastating
because at that point in time I was actually an executive assistant for a
software company, so I was traveling all the time. And I couldn't do that
anymore. So conception wasn't planned, but it happened and I mean, I'm
very happy with the outcome of everything, so. So did you have a support
network? I mean, you were at home with someone keeping you company. As far
as support networks, my family, my, my mother being this was her first
grandchild, so she was very supportive of the situation, but her and my
father did work full time. Uh, they retired from the military and got
pretty good jobs working as government contractors. My mom worked for
Aerospace and Elsa Gando. My dad worked for Boeing in Huntington Beach, so
they worked massive amount of hours. And then my husband worked massive
amount of hours, so. I could call people and then once my family got wind
of me being sick, cousins started coming over every day. Being from a
Hispanic family, I was constantly being cooked for. Let me do this for you
, or do you want your house cleaned? Are we so I got a lot of perks out of
it. It was nice being on bed rest for a while, but it got really boring
and I definitely wanted to get up and walk around and You know, go
shopping for the baby and do this and that and just I wasn't able to
physically. I was so sick, so sick from the very beginning. Um, I I knew
that I was sick and I kept trying to voice it to my physician, but he kept
putting it off on, oh, this is your first pregnancy. You don't really know
what you're feeling. And I kept telling him, no, I'm pretty sure I know my
body. Something's not right. I don't feel right inside. So about 4.5
months, I rapidly started putting on weight. And I wasn't able to eat, so
I kept asking something has to be wrong with me. And at that point in time
, he was like, well, let's just check some things and my blood pressure
started to rise. So then I was on a strict, you have to lay on the left
side of your body. You can't be at more than 30 minutes. If you have leg
swelling and it gets bigger than this, then you need to come into the
hospital. And at that point in time, I started going to labor and delivery
every Monday, Wednesday, Friday to get monitored because they were
starting to get pretty worried about me. How far along were you at this
point? Uh, about 4.5 months. So I was still very early in my pregnancy. Uh
, at that point in time, because how everything was going. My parents
decided, let's start planning your baby shower. That's something we need
to do so we can get this done as soon as possible because we don't know
what's gonna happen. So I planned my baby shower and I, I was going to be
exactly 6 months or 6 months, 7 months, the day of the baby shower, which
was July 16th. Well, I made it to the day of the baby shower and I got
through the baby shower. At that point in time, though, my ankles were
about the size of my thighs, and I was out of breath all the time. I could
barely move and I just kept thinking there's no way that I am this fat.
There's no way I gained this much weight. There's no way something has to
be going on. And I, like I said, I had been in labor and delivery and
every time you're like, oh, everything's fine, the baby's moving, heart
rate's great. We keep monitoring everything. You can go home, you can go
home. So after the baby shower, I looked at my parents and my husband and
he was like, well, I have to take my mom home, you know, are you gonna be
OK? Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. And then after he left, I told my mom, I
don't really feel good. I'm just gonna go to labor and delivery. You know
what always happens. I'm gonna get monitored and they'll send me home.
I'll call you back. So I drove myself to labor and delivery. I walked in
and the nurse immediately looked at me and said, What have you been doing
all day? I said, oh, it's my baby shower, and she's like, you don't look
yourself today. And I was like, I don't really feel good, you know, I have
this pain in my chest, like heartburn really bad, but I didn't eat too
much and she's like, well, let's get you up onto the monitor. They hooked
me up to the monitor and then within 5 seconds, she kind of lost color in
her face. And I was like, what's going on? And she's like, nothing. I'll
be right back. So she went, made a phone call. 5 minutes later my doctor
came running, I like literally skid into the room. I was like, Hi, why are
you here? And he's like, I just want to check some things. So he kept
monitoring me and he just looked at me and he said, I think we're going to
be admitting you. I said, What do you mean? I've never been admitted. He's
like, No, we're going to admit you because um your blood pressure is
really high right now. We really need to start you on a medication to make
sure we can drop it, and we don't want your baby out yet, especially not
at this hospital because we don't have an IU. So I said, OK, can I make a
phone call? Can I call someone, you know, and he's like, yeah, no problem
, but let's start the IV and let's start the medication process. I was
like, OK, no problem. So, uh, they started magnesium, which is a
medication that they used to drastically lower your blood pressure because
at that point in time, he told me my blood pressure was about 190/100.
And I was like, OK, yeah, no problem, we can do this. But he said that's
the pain that you feel. It feels like heartburn, but it's really not
heartburn. Uh, you have preeclampsia, which is pregnancy-induced
hypertension, and that's why we keep saying lay on your left side, do this
because your arteries actually can't take it right now. The pressure is
too high in them. So I was like, OK, I'm gonna call my mom. Let, let me
just call my mom. So I called her, she called uh my husband. And it took a
while, but before I knew it, she was there and then he was there and they
said, well, we're just gonna monitor her here for the night and then we'll
see how it goes tomorrow. So on the 17th, they came in and they told me,
um, well, your blood pressure is still going up and You're not having
contractions, so we're going to transport you to a different hospital
further down the road because they have everything that you need there. So
I got transported to actually one of the biggest teaching hospitals and
They literally put me in a room right outside the nurse's station. And the
room was gigantic. I kept thinking, Oh, this is a nice suite. This is
amazing. They pulled out beds, they didn't let my parents go anywhere. And
then they said, OK, so we're going to be in every 30 minutes. Every 30
minutes they were checking me, they were taking blood samples from me. And
that night, the 17th, they were my parents were taking shifts as well as
Chris were taking shifts in and out, in and out just to make sure that,
you know, go home, shower, eat, whatever they needed to do to stay up.
That night I remember waking up in and out because magnesium makes you
really loopy. So I remember waking up and actually seeing my dad cry, and
I kind of looked at him. I was like, Why are you crying? He said, Oh, no
reason, no reason. I was like, Oh, there's got to be something. What, what
are you not telling me? He was like, I'm just a little worried about you.
It's OK. Go back to sleep, you need your rest. So the next morning, I
don't remember any of it. And it's change of shifts. Chris comes in and
they keep telling, oh, you know, everything's OK, especially him, because
they're telling my parents the most important information for some reason.
And he's like, Well, then I'm going to work. Is that OK? Can I go to work
? And they're like, Yeah, yeah, because we're keeping this baby in her.
They kept telling him that the baby wasn't coming, the baby wasn't coming.
So he went to work and my mom was in the room with me and again every 30
minutes I'm getting blood drawn and finally it's I think around 3:30 p.m.
because I remember the time and I remember the head doctor coming in
because they had called him in and they were like 5 doctors and a couple
of nurses and him saying, you guys are playing God right now, she's gonna
end up dying. I want this baby out of her. And I didn't dilate. So, and I
was actually doing it with no pain meds. I was gonna have a natural birth
because I didn't want anything to happen to my baby. He was already gonna
be early. I didn't want him loopy or anything. And at that point in time,
I was having contractions because they had started Pitocin to make me
contract, but it wasn't normal. It was they were double spiking, and then
there was a little gap and then there would be another double spike. And
they just couldn't get me dilated anymore till about 3.5 inches. So he was
like, no, we're gonna have to have an emergency cesarean. And They were
shift changing, so the anesthetist was leaving and another one wasn't
coming on immediately, so they called him and he ran back up and one of
the nurses I had in my room was a student nurse, but she was great. She
held my hand, she was like, everything's gonna be fine. We can do this. So
at about 6:30 I got wheeled into the surgery room. um. I didn't know what
to expect. I knew my mom was crying. I was like, why are you crying? She
was like, no reason, no reason. So, It was, it happened so fast from me
getting the epidural to them wheeling me and I could actually still feel
them cut me. And I was like, I can feel that and the doctor's like, it
really doesn't matter right now, we gotta get this baby out of you now.
And I was like, what's going on? Why now? Why now? He's like, count
backwards, you know, and I was like, why now? And my mom said, because
your blood pressure right now is 285/190.
You had a seizure. That's why the doctor came in. They need to get the
baby out, Tiffany, let's just do this. So I was like, OK, no problem.
That's OK, whatever. So I feel tugging and I see my mom's face and the
color kind of leaves her face and I don't hear any crying, but I know they
pulled the baby out of me, um. And then I hear them, the cords wrapped
around his neck, the cords wrapped around the neck. 4 times the cord was
wrapped around his neck. They unwrapped it. They gave him a shot of oxygen
and then another shot, and then finally I heard the best blood curdling
cry in my life. I started crying, my mom started crying, and they wished
him over to the baby station, started cleaning him off, wrapped him up
real fast, put his um. Hat on him and then gave him to my mom, let me kiss
him, and then said, we got to go now, and then rushed him off to the NU.
So I had questions, but I was so out of it I couldn't really ask and they
said, well, you need to come with us. You need to come with us talking to
my mom. So she put on the little bracelet and she went with the baby and
they started doing what they were doing to me and closed me up. I was
still so out of it. I didn't I didn't get to see him immediately. The next
day I remember them coming in because I was still right in front of the
station and I remember them in and out all night. I remember Chris getting
there at some point in time, but I didn't know when. So the next day I was
like, when did you get there? He said, after my police escort. I said,
what? He was like, yeah, they called, so security called the police. The
police escorted me all the way down the freeway here so I could get here.
They made your mom sign a waiver, Tiffany, who were they saving, you or
him? I was like, Well, how's the baby? How's the baby? He's like, the
baby's good. The baby already surpassed. Um, there's 3 different levels of
the NICU. There's level 1, which is very intensive. They're on a lot of
oxygen. They are either not breathing or they're on a heart monitor
because their heart's not beating strong enough for them. Level 2 is
because they have very low body weight, so they can't control their
temperature, and they need to learn how to bottle feed. And then level 4
is they're regulating their body, but they still need to gain weight
before they can be discharged. So he was in level 2, he didn't have any
sort of infection. His heart was beating good, his lungs were amazing. He
just didn't learn how to bottle feed, so they were still having to gavage
feed, which is where they stick the tube down his throat and feed in the
nutrients until they could start to wean him off of that. And I was like,
OK, so he's fine. And then I looked at her and I said, when can I go see
him? And she's like, you can't get up. Your blood pressure is still very
unstable. Um, that's why we have you laying on your left side, you're
elevated.
Did Michael pick up all that noise? Do you, do you wanna get that? Then
we'll go ahead and start, OK.
Otherwise they're they're awesome,
awesome. It's a good story, isn't it sit down. Over the other way so you
don't drop anything else.
All right. OK, so I, and I looked at her. I just said, I just had my baby
. I want to see him. She said, you can't leave this room. We haven't
gotten clearance. You can't eat, you can't do anything until I get
clearance from the doctor. So it is now the 19th. My son is a day and a
half old, and I still haven't been able to see him. Finally, one of his
neu nurses brings in this picture. Of this little tiny baby, 3 pounds, 5
ounces, 16 inches long. Preey diapers are too big, so they're having to
roll them up. The hat's too big and in his tiny little hand is this giant
finger. Well, the giant finger was my husband's. My husband had been there
every hour he could be there and he was the one holding him and looking at
him and he would come and say, he's he's so beautiful, he's so beautiful,
you did a good job. But I still couldn't see him. So she posted his
picture next to my bed and she said, you need to get better because that's
what you have waiting for you. So it's the 20th now and I'm still NPO. I
haven't been able to eat. They only have an IV in me. I'm starving. My
mouth is dry. They barely are giving me ice chips because they don't know
what's going on because of all the fluid volume. Finally, the doctor walks
in and was like, huh, you don't really look like that same person. Well,
it turns out I had lost 45 pounds just like that.
Just like that, it was all water weight. My blood pressure still was a
little high, but it was slowly coming down because I was losing the water
weight. And he was like, I'm gonna give you another day. He said, let's
see how much more you can lose in volume. And then if your blood pressure
, if the top number can get under 190 for me, I'll put you in a wheelchair
and we'll go see your baby. So finally the next day he came in and he was
like, All right, let's do this. So they put me in a wheelchair and It was
crazy because the way that the hospital was made, the labor and delivery
unit was far from the NICU. So it was literally almost 1/4 of a mile walk
down different hallways just to get there. So I couldn't make the walk at
all. I had, I was still there with the cesarean and then with my blood
pressure they're like, you have to be in this wheelchair, you can't do it
yourself. So they willed me in there to see him. At that point in time, it
wasn't the same nurse. It was this older nurse and she was not nice to me.
And she was like, just look at him. I was like, but I want to hold him. I
want to touch him. She was like, put your hand in the little hole and
touch him, but that's it. So I was a little depressed and I just kept
talking to him through the hole and telling him how much I loved him and
finally, I believe it was the 22nd. They're like, OK, you can start
walking Tiffany, cause it's, it's time for you to start healing and we
need you to start getting stronger and Um, he's gonna need to start
feeding soon because he's, he's taking these feedings like a champ and
he's gonna need to start breastfeeding, so you need to get ready. I was
like, OK, no problem. So the first walk was a little painful, but by the
time I got there, it was this really young nurse and she was super cool
and she was like, have, have you held him yet? I was like, no. I haven't
held him and he's almost a week old and I just want him to know that I
love him and she was like, well, let's let's hold him. So they put up a
privacy curtain and they pulled down my gown and they said this is called
the kangaroo method or method. It's a skin to skin contact. It's to create
the bond between the mother and the child. This is what usually happens
right after birth, but because you were so sick and we needed to check on
him, it couldn't occur. So I did it and immediately started crying. It was
the best feeling in my life. My heart felt better, I felt better and he
kind of looked up at me and I saw his big eyes and I was like, oh my gosh
, I really have a baby. This is crazy. So after that I walked back to my
room and then I said, OK, I'm gonna do this. And I would make 5 trips
every day and they're like, you shouldn't be out of bed, you still need to
be in there. And um we were trying to breastfeed the best we could, but he
was just he was so hungry all the time that we had to start doing more
formula feeding so that he could gain weight. Finally, it was about 2
weeks I was there, and they moved him up to the next one because he was
doing so well. My blood pressure still wasn't stable though, they're like
, you have to stay here another week, he can go home. And I just looked at
him like, what do you mean he can go home? Um, he's still really young and
they're like, no, he's thriving, and he, you don't want him here anymore.
He needs to get sunlight and he needs to be at the house, but you need to
stay here. So at that point in time, it was heartbreaking cause here they
are telling me that my baby gets to go home, but I, I have to stay another
week. So I cried and I didn't know what to do and my mom was like, well,
I'm gonna take him. We're gonna, he's gonna be at home with us. Chris can
come over whenever he wants, but that's my son, like, that's my grandson.
That's my first grandbaby. He will be, I will take off work, whatever we
have to do. She's like, we'll come visit you. So they discharged him to
her and I stayed and I was only there for about 4.5 more days and then
finally got to go home and be with him. But it was just a crazy situation.
It was really hard. He was so tiny. For so long. The preemie clothes were
really big and then all of a sudden he hit 3 months and he was the size of
this 9 month old. And I was taking him to all the doctor's appointments
and he wasn't delayed, he was ahead of schedule. Finally, at 9 months they
told me you don't need to be here anymore. And I was like, well, aren't
you worried about his cognitive level and they keep telling me he's this
age, even though he's this age. Tiffany, he's walking. He's walking and
he's got 7 teeth already. He actually cut his 1st 2 teeth at 4 months. And
then they just started popping in his mouth and I couldn't, I couldn't
keep him from eating regular food and now It's crazy at the age of 9, he's
5'5 and he's the size of a high schooler and he's very intelligent. He's
in 4th grade going into 5th, but he reads at a 9th grade level and his
math is at a 6th grade level and everybody's like he's so intelligent, but
he kind of has an aura about him. I think it's because he was born early
and God really did help me a lot, making sure that he was healthy because
um. He absorbs feelings in a room. If it's chaotic and intense, he can
feel that, and he tries to calm the situation down cause he doesn't like
it. Um, at first it was a little rough for him too because he did develop
febrile seizures because he was born early, so his body couldn't regulate
his temperature all the time. So for the 1st 5 years of his life, I had to
deal with seizures almost every other month because the heat would get to
him or an illness would get to him. Um. But he still kind of has that
personality where he can walk into a room and if somebody needs a hug or
if they just need something nice and then he walks straight up to the
stranger and I'll talk to him and kind of hold their hand a little bit.
It's really weird. He's told stories a couple of times where he's like.
You smell that I'm like smell what and he's like, oh, smells like heaven.
I'm just like, OK, what are you talking about, kid? And he's like, I
don't know, remember when you used to sing to me and when he was in the
ICU, I sang to him every day. Lots and lots of different songs, a lot of
hymns, a lot of biblical songs just to give him strength, but He, he
pulled through and. Sometimes I don't know how, but he just knows when,
when I need strength, and he'll come and talk to me and I'm just like, how
are you 9? So he is definitely my miracle child.
And he's very modest. He doesn't like me talking about it a lot. He's very
sensitive and I love that, you know, as big as he is, he, he stands up for
the little guy and he's not afraid to cry. So I'm very lucky to have him.
That is the most remarkable story, and you are a gifted storyteller.
Really, truly, I know, no, it was, it's really beautiful and thank you
sounds like you have this really amazing son who's like intuitive and You
know, yeah, I tends to total, yeah, yeah. The world needs people with
compassion, you know, so it's so good to hear that young people have it
still, you know, I worry about young people these days. Well, you know,
being a nurse too, when I first moved to Payson, I was a special needs
nurse, so I dealt with a lot of autistic children and I mean, my brother's
handicapped, so my whole life I've dealt with special needs, but my kids
are the biggest fans. I they actually all these medals you see around my
house, they are unified partners in the Special Olympics and have been. Um
, I helped start the unified team in Payson before we moved here, they had
no unified partners. They really didn't even know that there was a program
that a regular person could compete with an athlete. And they could go
together and I told them, oh my gosh, you don't know about Play Unified?
Uh let's let's do this. Let's start this. So I started for track and field
and then this year we did basketball, track and field and swimming in Play
Unified, and they're actually a million strong right now nationwide for
Play Unified. It's a very big push that they're doing, but both my kids
are amazing little helpers. And when it comes to special needs, they, they
see no difference, so they have a lot of really good relationships in the
community because of that. And it's, it's important that you teach them at
a very young age. Different is not bad, different is good, and we all need
to get along to make it. So, yeah, I'm very, very blessed with the two
little kids that I have.
I have a son who's 4 turning 5 in August and doing this um project has
really helped teach me how to be a better mom, you know, in many ways, you
know, because we've heard stories from women of all generations and the
way they talk about just motherhood and what it means to them and you know
the kind of kids that they've raised and it's it's really been very
interesting and insightful for me. As someone who's looking down the road
and, you know, trying to grow the best it's hard. Society itself is so
harsh and so mean, and you still have to teach them how to love and be
open minded and Still be able to be vulnerable but street smart so they
don't get taken advantage of. Yeah. So do you want to tell us about your
second birth? OK, cool. That's um fine.
She was. What is the age gap? Was it planned? It was not planned again, um
, they are 2 years, 1 month and 11 days apart. Uh, again, I actually got
pregnant around the same time in November, um, And this time we had 2 boys
and I
I really wasn't ready for another one because I was so sick and very
selfishly was thinking if I get pregnant again, I'm gonna get sick and I'm
gonna die and somebody else is going to raise my kid and I don't want that.
So In December, I noticed him sleeping more, and I just kind of looked at
him and said. If I take a pregnancy test and I'm pregnant, I might hurt
you. And he kind of laughed and he said, well, you don't have to do that
cause I have my stomach's been upset lately and I've been super tired, so
I know you're pregnant already. And I was like, please, so I took 3, and
they all came back positive. And you know, but this pregnancy was much
different internally, I could feel myself and I was happy, and I had more
energy and It just, it felt completely different. I totally went with a
different doctor cause I wanted somebody who was gonna listen to me, voice
my opinions immediately and not just oh well this is this is just what it
is. This is just what it is. So they actually placed me with a high risk
doctor and he was absolutely amazing. He listened to me, he was receptive
, he took all the precautions he needed to throughout the whole pregnancy.
Um, I didn't start gaining weight until my second term, and then it
wasn't a lot of weight. It was here, their weight, and I was able to walk
and live the normal pregnancy kind of love your pregnancy body. Uh, I ate
, I was happy, you know, it was completely different than the first time,
um.
I think I was about 4.5 months and I was like, oh, I'm gonna have another
boy. This is great. I can't be a mother of a little girl cause I just will
fight all the time and Her her dad looked at me and said. You're in for a
rude awakening. I had a dream. I said, no, you're in your dreams and all
this and you felt the morning sickness before I did it. You're so full of
it. Just leave me alone. I had a dream, we're having a little girl, and
then the week after that, my mom said, I had a dream, you're having a
little girl. I said, I'm not, no, I'm not listening to you. I'm gonna get
my ultrasound and I think it was about 2 weeks cause I would have been 5.5
months. And they had been monitoring me. She was completely healthy. She
was moving. Her heart rate was great. Finally, at 5.5, all the dogs, sorry
, um, at 515, they did it and they said it's a girl, and I immediately
started crying.
I was so depressed. It's like, no, you don't understand my attitude plus
another woman's attitude. We're not gonna make it. And the doctor's like,
No, no, I'm pretty sure it's a girl. You can come back in a month and
we'll do a 3D ultrasound because you're high risk, but I'm pretty sure
that this is a girl. I don't think it's changing on me any. So I got, I'm
gonna have to pause again.
There must be someone outside Christian,
go tell them to be quiet, please. Well, now we know where he gets his
empathicness. His daddy's empathic and your mom. He's clumsy. Well, you
can't be everything. He's only be really good at 3 things maybe, yeah, and
he's grown so much that he just is not grown into his body. He's still
very awkward doing things and it's just
yeah and he loves, I mean he actually wants to be a scientist.
He loves rocket ships and satellites, so. That's a big thing. We need
someone to help NASA programs are thank you falling from the wayside.
Uh-huh.
But Oh, honey bun was trying to get in the yard. Oh, OK. All right, so
yeah. So I found out it was a girl. I was crying my eyes out. I called
everybody, I said, you guys are right and I don't like you. I'm on my way
home now. I got home, my parents, both my parents were sitting at the bar.
My husband was there, his brother was there, and
There was just girl stuff everywhere. They'd rushed out and they were so
excited. I literally had a closet full of girl clothes and all these girl
blankets and he had this big smile and these pink balloons and I was like
, what is going on here? He said, you should be happy. We have 2 boys and
now we have a girl. I said, you have 2 boys. And he was like, no, we have
2 boys. So I started to embrace the fact that I was pregnant with a girl.
I realized that at that point in time too, that's why all of my cravings
were different, completely different. Uh, with him, I was very healthy, uh
, lots of pineapple and baked chicken and broccoli, couldn't really
stomach fried foods. Her I wanted french fries and pizza and I love candy
,
so I was like, OK, this, this, so you've been trying to tell me the whole
time. Christian, I don't answer it. Just hang it up, please.
OK, so.
I can
It's OK to get settled in. OK, sit down. Thanks.
OK.
So if I would have just been listening to my body, I probably would have
known that it was gonna be a girl. And um at that point in time, we were
in the process of selling our house because we wanted to buy a house here
and I ended up, well, we ended up moving in with my parents and my
grandmother was there. And I'm about 7.5 months pregnant. Everything is
going great. Got all the way up to 38 weeks and I found out my cousin
actually committed suicide. The day before I went into my doctor's
appointment and when I went into the doctor's appointment, I was like, I'm
going to eat at Lone Star. I'm still a little depressed because it was my
favorite cousin who actually would come over and cook for me when I was
pregnant with Christians and make sure that everything was done. And she
used to rub my belly and call him Spike all the time because I don't know
if you're big on like soap operas. At that point in time, General Hospital
, there was this lady pregnant, and they always used to call her kids
Spike. So she used to call my baby Spike. Come on, Spike, I'm ready to
meet you. Let's do this. Come on, I'm ready. So, uh, I was a little
depressed and when I went into the doctor's, he said, Man, you had a good
run at this. I said, yeah, I know. I'm gonna go eat lunch, and he's like,
no. We're walking across the parking lot and you're gonna have this baby
today. Let's meet your daughter, I said, no. It's scheduled for next week.
It's the 29th of August. You scheduled it for the 5th of September. I
don't wanna have her today. I wanna go eat lunch. I haven't eaten all day.
I'm hungry. I wanna go eat lunch. And he said, no, no, we're gonna go
check you in and to make sure you check in, I'm gonna walk with you. So we
come out of the room and my mom's like, Are you ready? And he's like, yeah
, we're gonna go check her in now. She said, What? It's like her blood
pressure is a little high. And she said, I told you not to worry about it
, you know, things happen in life and you just have to deal with it. And I
told you last night to stop crying. I knew this was gonna happen. So we
walked over to the hospital and we checked in and he said, OK, I'll be
back at 5:30 and I kind of looked at him and I was like it. It is 10 in
the morning. What do you mean 5:30? And because it's a sarin, you can't
eat.
So I was starving and then I started getting angry and he's like, if you
get angry, your blood pressure is just gonna go higher. So at 5:30 they
came into the room and said, well, there's another patient and she has a
fever, so we have to get her first. I was like, oh this is gonna take
forever. This is crazy. So finally they wheeled me into the room and um.
It was just like that before I knew it, she was out crying and she had a
head full of black hair and her dad was crying and my mom was crying and I
was like, why is everybody crying? Cause she's healthy and you're healthy
and everything's OK.
So they took her downstairs and in the elevator.
My husband was standing there next to my mom and they were looking at her
and just saying how beautiful she was and this doctor got in with them and
the nurse was like, oh look how long her fingers are. She's gonna be a
piano player, she could do this. And of course my mother being who she is
, no, she's gonna be a surgeon. And the doctor looked at her and said, my
mom said the same thing about me, and I'm a surgeon. And it was funny
because I, I was working. And running an urgent care and I worked in a
very predominant Beverly Hills medical office and I had to bring her to
work one day with me because she got sick, so I wanted the physician's
assistant to see her. And we were there and there was this Really nice
Ferrari sitting right next to my car, and at 5, she looked at me and said
, huh. Kind of car is that mommy? And I was like, it's a Ferrari. I said,
you see that that that doctor so and so, he's a neurosurgeon. OK, I want
to be a neurosurgeon. So to this day, she will be 8 in August. Every day
she asks me, OK, what exactly do I need to know? If I practice this, I can
be a doctor, and how long do I have to go to school. So she kind of
already has her what she wants to do mapped out. We'll see if she really
is going to be a neurosurgeon. She's, she's very much. Stand up for the
little guy, but she's very athletic. She's full of fire. Everybody who
sees her play sports, they're like, man, she's amazing. She is the only
little girl on all of the boys' teams. She plays football, she plays
baseball. They kept telling her, no, you should play softball, and she
said, no, I'm gonna play baseball. So she was the only girl in the league
this year and she had to try out and she was amazing. Her coaches loved
her. I mean, She's my little spitfire. She's full. I keep thinking she's
gonna be a lawyer because she, she has valid points when she argues
already. And she can maintain a very calm, peaceful argument voice, which
is something not normal, um, but she's very much a tomboy, so I'm OK with
that because I keep telling her you don't have to find yourself feminine
until you're 35 and I'm OK with that. Save me some heartache and trouble.
I am OK. So it's um.
It's fun just watching their lives unfold, right? And you have really no
idea what paths they're going to take them and what directions exactly.
And like I said, it was night and day. I mean between both stories and how
it went down. So they're very much night and day children. They are.
Yeah.
Yes, your night.
Uh-huh. Yeah, she does not have a scared bone in her body and at a very
young age she was like that. I can remember one time I was, it was super
late. It was probably about 9:30 and she was about 18 months old and I
went to check her bed and she wasn't there and I got really worried. She's
standing in the dark hallway giggling just like that giggling.
I'm like, I found her. I said, you're not scared.
Mama, I was like, oh my gosh, this child's gonna give me a heart attack.
Yeah, not, not scared of a thing at all. So I did scare my brother. I'm
sure
you have a really incredible family. Thank you so much for talking with us.
Oh, no problem. Thank you. I enjoy, like I said, I, um, after Christian's
birth, I talked to a bunch of people just because I wanted to get the fact
that you could have a very traumatic experience but get through it. And it
is a lot about your support team. I'm for a year and a half after he was
born, my parents would tell me bits and pieces, bits and pieces because I
was so loopy and so out of it I didn't realize what was going on. So I
mean I really did see my dad crying and to this day he was like, I thought
you were gonna die on us. Like I just, I just knew you weren't gonna be
here. So it took about a year and a half for them to come completely clean
with me. This is what was going on and this is what was happening and yeah.
Yeah, so I can't imagine your emotional state of being a new mother and
having not held your child, not seen your child. It was very hard. Like I
said, it was. When she brought that picture in, it gave me hope because it
was the only thing I had. I didn't know what he looked like. I didn't know
if he had my nose or my husband's nose. I didn't know if he was pale. I
didn't know if he had hair. I didn't know anything. So when she brought
that picture and I was like, he's real. There's a real baby there, you
know, there's something I can really see now. And that's kind of what gave
me faith and I was like, OK, we're going to get better. We're going to do
what we need to do because I don't want to be here. I want to be next to
my baby and I treated it like a job. I was next to him all the time. I
only stepped out of the NICU when they did their shift changes at 7 a.m.
and 7 p.m. and then I was back in the door at 7:30. I wouldn't go back to
my room until about 11:30 midnight, and they always just say, you need to
go rest. You need to go rest. I'm like, no, I need to be next to my son.
So
I was there. When you um reflect back on your birth experiences, is there
any way you can like come up with a word or phrasing of words that kind of
summarizes it to some degree because we're putting these into themes
that's helpful and insightful for us.
With Christian, my whole pregnancy was a train wreck. But out of the train
wreck, there was this.
New sense of like faith and hope delivered. And that was my big thing was
I had a a very new outlook on what God could really do for you, because he
was so healthy, but I was just so sick. So that was very good for me. And
with Michaela, it was just the whole pregnancy was very joyful. I really
got to see why women are like, oh, I could do this all the time. I'm like
, oh, good for you, but I mean I felt that joy. I got to embrace the fact
, well, I'm pregnant and I, I like the glow and I like everything else. So
yeah, it was just completely different. Awesome. All right, anything else
before we shut it down? No, I think it's OK.