WEBVTT 00:00:00.200 --> 00:00:04.596 Noble cause for one thing. OK, so I'm gonna start the recording. I'm 00:00:04.629 --> 00:00:08.566 going to introduce myself. This is Boris Solis interview interviewing 00:00:08.599 --> 00:00:14.646 Tiffany Ramirez on June 20, 2016 at 7:20 p.m. for the Creative Push 00:00:14.679 --> 00:00:20.846 project. OK. So, if you can um take us back to like as early as the 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:25.887 conception. Was it planned? Conception was not planned. Uh, we had been 00:00:25.920 --> 00:00:31.846 dating for about a year. He was in a very horrible relationship, so he 00:00:31.879 --> 00:00:37.885 does have an older son, and we were just filling it out. Um, it was late 00:00:37.918 --> 00:00:43.527 October, early November, and then finally, December, January, I started 00:00:43.560 --> 00:00:47.976 feeling weird and I was like, something's not right. So I took a pregnancy 00:00:48.009 --> 00:00:53.375 test and it came back positive and then we decided, OK, what are we gonna 00:00:53.408 --> 00:00:57.737 do? So I told my parents, he told his parents, and we decided to get 00:00:57.770 --> 00:01:02.256 married soon after that. So I was married to him before uh Christian was 00:01:02.289 --> 00:01:06.415 born. I 00:01:06.448 --> 00:01:12.995 love pregnancy at first, um, I Always was told I couldn't get pregnant 00:01:13.028 --> 00:01:18.117 because I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. So it was very hard. At about 00:01:18.150 --> 00:01:23.876 3 months during my course of pregnancy, I stood up and blood came gushing 00:01:23.909 --> 00:01:29.796 out of me. And I was rushed to the emergency room and they put me then on 00:01:29.829 --> 00:01:35.757 a high risk pregnancy and total bed rest so I got put on family medical 00:01:35.790 --> 00:01:40.236 leave immediately. I couldn't work anymore and that was devastating 00:01:40.269 --> 00:01:43.436 because at that point in time I was actually an executive assistant for a 00:01:43.469 --> 00:01:49.566 software company, so I was traveling all the time. And I couldn't do that 00:01:49.599 --> 00:01:54.885 anymore. So conception wasn't planned, but it happened and I mean, I'm 00:01:54.918 --> 00:02:01.605 very happy with the outcome of everything, so. So did you have a support 00:02:01.638 --> 00:02:06.876 network? I mean, you were at home with someone keeping you company. As far 00:02:06.909 --> 00:02:11.196 as support networks, my family, my, my mother being this was her first 00:02:11.229 --> 00:02:15.957 grandchild, so she was very supportive of the situation, but her and my 00:02:15.990 --> 00:02:20.475 father did work full time. Uh, they retired from the military and got 00:02:20.508 --> 00:02:24.517 pretty good jobs working as government contractors. My mom worked for 00:02:24.550 --> 00:02:29.517 Aerospace and Elsa Gando. My dad worked for Boeing in Huntington Beach, so 00:02:29.550 --> 00:02:35.275 they worked massive amount of hours. And then my husband worked massive 00:02:35.308 --> 00:02:41.677 amount of hours, so. I could call people and then once my family got wind 00:02:41.710 --> 00:02:47.077 of me being sick, cousins started coming over every day. Being from a 00:02:47.110 --> 00:02:51.475 Hispanic family, I was constantly being cooked for. Let me do this for you 00:02:51.508 --> 00:02:55.517 , or do you want your house cleaned? Are we so I got a lot of perks out of 00:02:55.550 --> 00:03:00.316 it. It was nice being on bed rest for a while, but it got really boring 00:03:00.349 --> 00:03:05.055 and I definitely wanted to get up and walk around and You know, go 00:03:05.088 --> 00:03:08.856 shopping for the baby and do this and that and just I wasn't able to 00:03:08.889 --> 00:03:16.889 physically. I was so sick, so sick from the very beginning. Um, I I knew 00:03:16.929 --> 00:03:22.457 that I was sick and I kept trying to voice it to my physician, but he kept 00:03:22.490 --> 00:03:26.297 putting it off on, oh, this is your first pregnancy. You don't really know 00:03:26.330 --> 00:03:30.856 what you're feeling. And I kept telling him, no, I'm pretty sure I know my 00:03:30.889 --> 00:03:36.656 body. Something's not right. I don't feel right inside. So about 4.5 00:03:36.689 --> 00:03:41.835 months, I rapidly started putting on weight. And I wasn't able to eat, so 00:03:41.868 --> 00:03:47.116 I kept asking something has to be wrong with me. And at that point in time 00:03:47.149 --> 00:03:50.957 , he was like, well, let's just check some things and my blood pressure 00:03:50.990 --> 00:03:55.525 started to rise. So then I was on a strict, you have to lay on the left 00:03:55.558 --> 00:04:00.967 side of your body. You can't be at more than 30 minutes. If you have leg 00:04:01.000 --> 00:04:04.255 swelling and it gets bigger than this, then you need to come into the 00:04:04.288 --> 00:04:08.255 hospital. And at that point in time, I started going to labor and delivery 00:04:08.288 --> 00:04:13.816 every Monday, Wednesday, Friday to get monitored because they were 00:04:13.849 --> 00:04:17.856 starting to get pretty worried about me. How far along were you at this 00:04:17.889 --> 00:04:24.286 point? Uh, about 4.5 months. So I was still very early in my pregnancy. Uh 00:04:24.319 --> 00:04:29.995 , at that point in time, because how everything was going. My parents 00:04:30.028 --> 00:04:33.325 decided, let's start planning your baby shower. That's something we need 00:04:33.358 --> 00:04:37.526 to do so we can get this done as soon as possible because we don't know 00:04:37.559 --> 00:04:42.796 what's gonna happen. So I planned my baby shower and I, I was going to be 00:04:42.829 --> 00:04:49.726 exactly 6 months or 6 months, 7 months, the day of the baby shower, which 00:04:49.759 --> 00:04:55.486 was July 16th. Well, I made it to the day of the baby shower and I got 00:04:55.519 --> 00:04:59.046 through the baby shower. At that point in time, though, my ankles were 00:04:59.079 --> 00:05:04.366 about the size of my thighs, and I was out of breath all the time. I could 00:05:04.399 --> 00:05:09.567 barely move and I just kept thinking there's no way that I am this fat. 00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:14.046 There's no way I gained this much weight. There's no way something has to 00:05:14.079 --> 00:05:18.856 be going on. And I, like I said, I had been in labor and delivery and 00:05:18.889 --> 00:05:22.377 every time you're like, oh, everything's fine, the baby's moving, heart 00:05:22.410 --> 00:05:27.055 rate's great. We keep monitoring everything. You can go home, you can go 00:05:27.088 --> 00:05:33.656 home. So after the baby shower, I looked at my parents and my husband and 00:05:33.689 --> 00:05:36.575 he was like, well, I have to take my mom home, you know, are you gonna be 00:05:36.608 --> 00:05:39.846 OK? Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. And then after he left, I told my mom, I 00:05:39.879 --> 00:05:43.026 don't really feel good. I'm just gonna go to labor and delivery. You know 00:05:43.059 --> 00:05:45.726 what always happens. I'm gonna get monitored and they'll send me home. 00:05:45.759 --> 00:05:50.916 I'll call you back. So I drove myself to labor and delivery. I walked in 00:05:50.949 --> 00:05:55.616 and the nurse immediately looked at me and said, What have you been doing 00:05:55.649 --> 00:05:59.616 all day? I said, oh, it's my baby shower, and she's like, you don't look 00:05:59.649 --> 00:06:02.817 yourself today. And I was like, I don't really feel good, you know, I have 00:06:02.850 --> 00:06:06.937 this pain in my chest, like heartburn really bad, but I didn't eat too 00:06:06.970 --> 00:06:10.526 much and she's like, well, let's get you up onto the monitor. They hooked 00:06:10.559 --> 00:06:14.245 me up to the monitor and then within 5 seconds, she kind of lost color in 00:06:14.278 --> 00:06:19.286 her face. And I was like, what's going on? And she's like, nothing. I'll 00:06:19.319 --> 00:06:25.055 be right back. So she went, made a phone call. 5 minutes later my doctor 00:06:25.088 --> 00:06:31.116 came running, I like literally skid into the room. I was like, Hi, why are 00:06:31.149 --> 00:06:35.387 you here? And he's like, I just want to check some things. So he kept 00:06:35.420 --> 00:06:40.637 monitoring me and he just looked at me and he said, I think we're going to 00:06:40.670 --> 00:06:45.426 be admitting you. I said, What do you mean? I've never been admitted. He's 00:06:45.459 --> 00:06:48.426 like, No, we're going to admit you because um your blood pressure is 00:06:48.459 --> 00:06:53.467 really high right now. We really need to start you on a medication to make 00:06:53.500 --> 00:06:58.265 sure we can drop it, and we don't want your baby out yet, especially not 00:06:58.298 --> 00:07:05.356 at this hospital because we don't have an IU. So I said, OK, can I make a 00:07:05.389 --> 00:07:08.317 phone call? Can I call someone, you know, and he's like, yeah, no problem 00:07:08.350 --> 00:07:12.555 , but let's start the IV and let's start the medication process. I was 00:07:12.588 --> 00:07:17.866 like, OK, no problem. So, uh, they started magnesium, which is a 00:07:17.899 --> 00:07:22.836 medication that they used to drastically lower your blood pressure because 00:07:22.869 --> 00:07:28.637 at that point in time, he told me my blood pressure was about 190/100. 00:07:28.670 --> 00:07:32.137 And I was like, OK, yeah, no problem, we can do this. But he said that's 00:07:32.170 --> 00:07:35.265 the pain that you feel. It feels like heartburn, but it's really not 00:07:35.298 --> 00:07:39.947 heartburn. Uh, you have preeclampsia, which is pregnancy-induced 00:07:39.980 --> 00:07:44.745 hypertension, and that's why we keep saying lay on your left side, do this 00:07:44.778 --> 00:07:48.026 because your arteries actually can't take it right now. The pressure is 00:07:48.059 --> 00:07:52.346 too high in them. So I was like, OK, I'm gonna call my mom. Let, let me 00:07:52.379 --> 00:08:00.379 just call my mom. So I called her, she called uh my husband. And it took a 00:08:00.480 --> 00:08:04.007 while, but before I knew it, she was there and then he was there and they 00:08:04.040 --> 00:08:08.447 said, well, we're just gonna monitor her here for the night and then we'll 00:08:08.480 --> 00:08:15.637 see how it goes tomorrow. So on the 17th, they came in and they told me, 00:08:15.670 --> 00:08:21.265 um, well, your blood pressure is still going up and You're not having 00:08:21.298 --> 00:08:27.507 contractions, so we're going to transport you to a different hospital 00:08:27.540 --> 00:08:31.825 further down the road because they have everything that you need there. So 00:08:31.858 --> 00:08:39.167 I got transported to actually one of the biggest teaching hospitals and 00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:44.895 They literally put me in a room right outside the nurse's station. And the 00:08:44.928 --> 00:08:48.615 room was gigantic. I kept thinking, Oh, this is a nice suite. This is 00:08:48.648 --> 00:08:54.576 amazing. They pulled out beds, they didn't let my parents go anywhere. And 00:08:54.609 --> 00:08:59.625 then they said, OK, so we're going to be in every 30 minutes. Every 30 00:08:59.658 --> 00:09:05.346 minutes they were checking me, they were taking blood samples from me. And 00:09:05.379 --> 00:09:09.547 that night, the 17th, they were my parents were taking shifts as well as 00:09:09.580 --> 00:09:12.967 Chris were taking shifts in and out, in and out just to make sure that, 00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:17.547 you know, go home, shower, eat, whatever they needed to do to stay up. 00:09:17.580 --> 00:09:22.625 That night I remember waking up in and out because magnesium makes you 00:09:22.658 --> 00:09:27.606 really loopy. So I remember waking up and actually seeing my dad cry, and 00:09:27.639 --> 00:09:31.407 I kind of looked at him. I was like, Why are you crying? He said, Oh, no 00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:35.125 reason, no reason. I was like, Oh, there's got to be something. What, what 00:09:35.158 --> 00:09:38.366 are you not telling me? He was like, I'm just a little worried about you. 00:09:38.399 --> 00:09:42.677 It's OK. Go back to sleep, you need your rest. So the next morning, I 00:09:42.710 --> 00:09:48.736 don't remember any of it. And it's change of shifts. Chris comes in and 00:09:48.769 --> 00:09:52.125 they keep telling, oh, you know, everything's OK, especially him, because 00:09:52.158 --> 00:09:56.787 they're telling my parents the most important information for some reason. 00:09:56.820 --> 00:10:00.917 And he's like, Well, then I'm going to work. Is that OK? Can I go to work 00:10:00.950 --> 00:10:04.946 ? And they're like, Yeah, yeah, because we're keeping this baby in her. 00:10:04.979 --> 00:10:07.866 They kept telling him that the baby wasn't coming, the baby wasn't coming. 00:10:07.899 --> 00:10:13.787 So he went to work and my mom was in the room with me and again every 30 00:10:13.820 --> 00:10:20.236 minutes I'm getting blood drawn and finally it's I think around 3:30 p.m. 00:10:20.269 --> 00:10:25.557 because I remember the time and I remember the head doctor coming in 00:10:25.590 --> 00:10:28.996 because they had called him in and they were like 5 doctors and a couple 00:10:29.029 --> 00:10:32.917 of nurses and him saying, you guys are playing God right now, she's gonna 00:10:32.950 --> 00:10:40.336 end up dying. I want this baby out of her. And I didn't dilate. So, and I 00:10:40.369 --> 00:10:43.686 was actually doing it with no pain meds. I was gonna have a natural birth 00:10:43.719 --> 00:10:47.246 because I didn't want anything to happen to my baby. He was already gonna 00:10:47.279 --> 00:10:52.157 be early. I didn't want him loopy or anything. And at that point in time, 00:10:52.190 --> 00:10:55.696 I was having contractions because they had started Pitocin to make me 00:10:55.729 --> 00:11:00.346 contract, but it wasn't normal. It was they were double spiking, and then 00:11:00.379 --> 00:11:04.236 there was a little gap and then there would be another double spike. And 00:11:04.269 --> 00:11:08.537 they just couldn't get me dilated anymore till about 3.5 inches. So he was 00:11:08.570 --> 00:11:13.456 like, no, we're gonna have to have an emergency cesarean. And They were 00:11:13.489 --> 00:11:19.217 shift changing, so the anesthetist was leaving and another one wasn't 00:11:19.250 --> 00:11:24.657 coming on immediately, so they called him and he ran back up and one of 00:11:24.690 --> 00:11:27.936 the nurses I had in my room was a student nurse, but she was great. She 00:11:27.969 --> 00:11:32.816 held my hand, she was like, everything's gonna be fine. We can do this. So 00:11:32.849 --> 00:11:40.236 at about 6:30 I got wheeled into the surgery room. um. I didn't know what 00:11:40.269 --> 00:11:43.515 to expect. I knew my mom was crying. I was like, why are you crying? She 00:11:43.548 --> 00:11:50.206 was like, no reason, no reason. So, It was, it happened so fast from me 00:11:50.239 --> 00:11:53.407 getting the epidural to them wheeling me and I could actually still feel 00:11:53.440 --> 00:11:57.167 them cut me. And I was like, I can feel that and the doctor's like, it 00:11:57.200 --> 00:12:01.895 really doesn't matter right now, we gotta get this baby out of you now. 00:12:01.928 --> 00:12:06.717 And I was like, what's going on? Why now? Why now? He's like, count 00:12:06.750 --> 00:12:12.686 backwards, you know, and I was like, why now? And my mom said, because 00:12:12.719 --> 00:12:18.135 your blood pressure right now is 285/190. 00:12:18.168 --> 00:12:22.907 You had a seizure. That's why the doctor came in. They need to get the 00:12:22.940 --> 00:12:29.836 baby out, Tiffany, let's just do this. So I was like, OK, no problem. 00:12:29.869 --> 00:12:37.157 That's OK, whatever. So I feel tugging and I see my mom's face and the 00:12:37.190 --> 00:12:41.557 color kind of leaves her face and I don't hear any crying, but I know they 00:12:41.590 --> 00:12:47.196 pulled the baby out of me, um. And then I hear them, the cords wrapped 00:12:47.229 --> 00:12:50.106 around his neck, the cords wrapped around the neck. 4 times the cord was 00:12:50.139 --> 00:12:55.057 wrapped around his neck. They unwrapped it. They gave him a shot of oxygen 00:12:55.090 --> 00:13:00.746 and then another shot, and then finally I heard the best blood curdling 00:13:00.779 --> 00:13:08.186 cry in my life. I started crying, my mom started crying, and they wished 00:13:08.219 --> 00:13:11.467 him over to the baby station, started cleaning him off, wrapped him up 00:13:11.500 --> 00:13:17.946 real fast, put his um. Hat on him and then gave him to my mom, let me kiss 00:13:17.979 --> 00:13:23.407 him, and then said, we got to go now, and then rushed him off to the NU. 00:13:23.440 --> 00:13:28.765 So I had questions, but I was so out of it I couldn't really ask and they 00:13:28.798 --> 00:13:32.086 said, well, you need to come with us. You need to come with us talking to 00:13:32.119 --> 00:13:36.326 my mom. So she put on the little bracelet and she went with the baby and 00:13:36.359 --> 00:13:40.645 they started doing what they were doing to me and closed me up. I was 00:13:40.678 --> 00:13:47.167 still so out of it. I didn't I didn't get to see him immediately. The next 00:13:47.200 --> 00:13:52.686 day I remember them coming in because I was still right in front of the 00:13:52.719 --> 00:13:56.807 station and I remember them in and out all night. I remember Chris getting 00:13:56.840 --> 00:14:00.606 there at some point in time, but I didn't know when. So the next day I was 00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:06.145 like, when did you get there? He said, after my police escort. I said, 00:14:06.178 --> 00:14:12.025 what? He was like, yeah, they called, so security called the police. The 00:14:12.058 --> 00:14:16.746 police escorted me all the way down the freeway here so I could get here. 00:14:16.779 --> 00:14:21.057 They made your mom sign a waiver, Tiffany, who were they saving, you or 00:14:21.090 --> 00:14:25.307 him? I was like, Well, how's the baby? How's the baby? He's like, the 00:14:25.340 --> 00:14:31.217 baby's good. The baby already surpassed. Um, there's 3 different levels of 00:14:31.250 --> 00:14:34.986 the NICU. There's level 1, which is very intensive. They're on a lot of 00:14:35.019 --> 00:14:38.427 oxygen. They are either not breathing or they're on a heart monitor 00:14:38.460 --> 00:14:42.125 because their heart's not beating strong enough for them. Level 2 is 00:14:42.158 --> 00:14:46.385 because they have very low body weight, so they can't control their 00:14:46.418 --> 00:14:50.346 temperature, and they need to learn how to bottle feed. And then level 4 00:14:50.379 --> 00:14:54.525 is they're regulating their body, but they still need to gain weight 00:14:54.558 --> 00:14:58.486 before they can be discharged. So he was in level 2, he didn't have any 00:14:58.519 --> 00:15:03.385 sort of infection. His heart was beating good, his lungs were amazing. He 00:15:03.418 --> 00:15:06.746 just didn't learn how to bottle feed, so they were still having to gavage 00:15:06.779 --> 00:15:10.586 feed, which is where they stick the tube down his throat and feed in the 00:15:10.619 --> 00:15:17.336 nutrients until they could start to wean him off of that. And I was like, 00:15:17.369 --> 00:15:20.496 OK, so he's fine. And then I looked at her and I said, when can I go see 00:15:20.529 --> 00:15:25.015 him? And she's like, you can't get up. Your blood pressure is still very 00:15:25.048 --> 00:15:30.057 unstable. Um, that's why we have you laying on your left side, you're 00:15:30.090 --> 00:15:32.407 elevated. 00:15:32.440 --> 00:15:36.566 Did Michael pick up all that noise? Do you, do you wanna get that? Then 00:15:36.599 --> 00:15:40.066 we'll go ahead and start, OK. 00:15:40.099 --> 00:15:43.226 Otherwise they're they're awesome, 00:15:43.259 --> 00:15:47.586 awesome. It's a good story, isn't it sit down. Over the other way so you 00:15:47.619 --> 00:15:52.025 don't drop anything else. 00:15:52.058 --> 00:15:57.336 All right. OK, so I, and I looked at her. I just said, I just had my baby 00:15:57.369 --> 00:16:02.586 . I want to see him. She said, you can't leave this room. We haven't 00:16:02.619 --> 00:16:07.167 gotten clearance. You can't eat, you can't do anything until I get 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:14.856 clearance from the doctor. So it is now the 19th. My son is a day and a 00:16:14.889 --> 00:16:22.066 half old, and I still haven't been able to see him. Finally, one of his 00:16:22.099 --> 00:16:28.635 neu nurses brings in this picture. Of this little tiny baby, 3 pounds, 5 00:16:28.668 --> 00:16:34.677 ounces, 16 inches long. Preey diapers are too big, so they're having to 00:16:34.710 --> 00:16:41.635 roll them up. The hat's too big and in his tiny little hand is this giant 00:16:41.668 --> 00:16:45.755 finger. Well, the giant finger was my husband's. My husband had been there 00:16:45.788 --> 00:16:51.505 every hour he could be there and he was the one holding him and looking at 00:16:51.538 --> 00:16:56.557 him and he would come and say, he's he's so beautiful, he's so beautiful, 00:16:56.590 --> 00:17:01.346 you did a good job. But I still couldn't see him. So she posted his 00:17:01.379 --> 00:17:05.305 picture next to my bed and she said, you need to get better because that's 00:17:05.338 --> 00:17:11.535 what you have waiting for you. So it's the 20th now and I'm still NPO. I 00:17:11.568 --> 00:17:15.456 haven't been able to eat. They only have an IV in me. I'm starving. My 00:17:15.489 --> 00:17:19.736 mouth is dry. They barely are giving me ice chips because they don't know 00:17:19.769 --> 00:17:23.696 what's going on because of all the fluid volume. Finally, the doctor walks 00:17:23.729 --> 00:17:27.575 in and was like, huh, you don't really look like that same person. Well, 00:17:27.608 --> 00:17:32.217 it turns out I had lost 45 pounds just like that. 00:17:32.250 --> 00:17:36.156 Just like that, it was all water weight. My blood pressure still was a 00:17:36.189 --> 00:17:40.075 little high, but it was slowly coming down because I was losing the water 00:17:40.108 --> 00:17:45.467 weight. And he was like, I'm gonna give you another day. He said, let's 00:17:45.500 --> 00:17:50.236 see how much more you can lose in volume. And then if your blood pressure 00:17:50.269 --> 00:17:56.266 , if the top number can get under 190 for me, I'll put you in a wheelchair 00:17:56.299 --> 00:18:01.166 and we'll go see your baby. So finally the next day he came in and he was 00:18:01.199 --> 00:18:07.006 like, All right, let's do this. So they put me in a wheelchair and It was 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:11.726 crazy because the way that the hospital was made, the labor and delivery 00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:18.607 unit was far from the NICU. So it was literally almost 1/4 of a mile walk 00:18:18.640 --> 00:18:22.686 down different hallways just to get there. So I couldn't make the walk at 00:18:22.719 --> 00:18:27.085 all. I had, I was still there with the cesarean and then with my blood 00:18:27.118 --> 00:18:30.006 pressure they're like, you have to be in this wheelchair, you can't do it 00:18:30.039 --> 00:18:35.815 yourself. So they willed me in there to see him. At that point in time, it 00:18:35.848 --> 00:18:40.857 wasn't the same nurse. It was this older nurse and she was not nice to me. 00:18:40.890 --> 00:18:44.936 And she was like, just look at him. I was like, but I want to hold him. I 00:18:44.969 --> 00:18:49.256 want to touch him. She was like, put your hand in the little hole and 00:18:49.289 --> 00:18:56.436 touch him, but that's it. So I was a little depressed and I just kept 00:18:56.469 --> 00:19:01.476 talking to him through the hole and telling him how much I loved him and 00:19:01.509 --> 00:19:05.776 finally, I believe it was the 22nd. They're like, OK, you can start 00:19:05.809 --> 00:19:10.236 walking Tiffany, cause it's, it's time for you to start healing and we 00:19:10.269 --> 00:19:15.526 need you to start getting stronger and Um, he's gonna need to start 00:19:15.559 --> 00:19:20.016 feeding soon because he's, he's taking these feedings like a champ and 00:19:20.049 --> 00:19:23.696 he's gonna need to start breastfeeding, so you need to get ready. I was 00:19:23.729 --> 00:19:28.055 like, OK, no problem. So the first walk was a little painful, but by the 00:19:28.088 --> 00:19:31.617 time I got there, it was this really young nurse and she was super cool 00:19:31.650 --> 00:19:37.065 and she was like, have, have you held him yet? I was like, no. I haven't 00:19:37.098 --> 00:19:42.555 held him and he's almost a week old and I just want him to know that I 00:19:42.588 --> 00:19:47.666 love him and she was like, well, let's let's hold him. So they put up a 00:19:47.699 --> 00:19:51.276 privacy curtain and they pulled down my gown and they said this is called 00:19:51.309 --> 00:19:56.746 the kangaroo method or method. It's a skin to skin contact. It's to create 00:19:56.779 --> 00:20:00.035 the bond between the mother and the child. This is what usually happens 00:20:00.068 --> 00:20:04.226 right after birth, but because you were so sick and we needed to check on 00:20:04.259 --> 00:20:09.867 him, it couldn't occur. So I did it and immediately started crying. It was 00:20:09.900 --> 00:20:15.956 the best feeling in my life. My heart felt better, I felt better and he 00:20:15.989 --> 00:20:20.526 kind of looked up at me and I saw his big eyes and I was like, oh my gosh 00:20:20.559 --> 00:20:26.357 , I really have a baby. This is crazy. So after that I walked back to my 00:20:26.390 --> 00:20:31.387 room and then I said, OK, I'm gonna do this. And I would make 5 trips 00:20:31.420 --> 00:20:35.117 every day and they're like, you shouldn't be out of bed, you still need to 00:20:35.150 --> 00:20:41.147 be in there. And um we were trying to breastfeed the best we could, but he 00:20:41.180 --> 00:20:45.585 was just he was so hungry all the time that we had to start doing more 00:20:45.618 --> 00:20:50.867 formula feeding so that he could gain weight. Finally, it was about 2 00:20:50.900 --> 00:20:55.305 weeks I was there, and they moved him up to the next one because he was 00:20:55.338 --> 00:20:59.107 doing so well. My blood pressure still wasn't stable though, they're like 00:20:59.140 --> 00:21:04.266 , you have to stay here another week, he can go home. And I just looked at 00:21:04.299 --> 00:21:09.075 him like, what do you mean he can go home? Um, he's still really young and 00:21:09.108 --> 00:21:13.835 they're like, no, he's thriving, and he, you don't want him here anymore. 00:21:13.868 --> 00:21:18.776 He needs to get sunlight and he needs to be at the house, but you need to 00:21:18.809 --> 00:21:24.406 stay here. So at that point in time, it was heartbreaking cause here they 00:21:24.439 --> 00:21:28.166 are telling me that my baby gets to go home, but I, I have to stay another 00:21:28.199 --> 00:21:33.085 week. So I cried and I didn't know what to do and my mom was like, well, 00:21:33.118 --> 00:21:38.416 I'm gonna take him. We're gonna, he's gonna be at home with us. Chris can 00:21:38.449 --> 00:21:42.246 come over whenever he wants, but that's my son, like, that's my grandson. 00:21:42.279 --> 00:21:46.127 That's my first grandbaby. He will be, I will take off work, whatever we 00:21:46.160 --> 00:21:51.696 have to do. She's like, we'll come visit you. So they discharged him to 00:21:51.729 --> 00:21:56.967 her and I stayed and I was only there for about 4.5 more days and then 00:21:57.000 --> 00:22:02.045 finally got to go home and be with him. But it was just a crazy situation. 00:22:02.078 --> 00:22:08.996 It was really hard. He was so tiny. For so long. The preemie clothes were 00:22:09.029 --> 00:22:12.756 really big and then all of a sudden he hit 3 months and he was the size of 00:22:12.789 --> 00:22:18.166 this 9 month old. And I was taking him to all the doctor's appointments 00:22:18.199 --> 00:22:24.006 and he wasn't delayed, he was ahead of schedule. Finally, at 9 months they 00:22:24.039 --> 00:22:26.805 told me you don't need to be here anymore. And I was like, well, aren't 00:22:26.838 --> 00:22:30.877 you worried about his cognitive level and they keep telling me he's this 00:22:30.910 --> 00:22:37.236 age, even though he's this age. Tiffany, he's walking. He's walking and 00:22:37.269 --> 00:22:44.006 he's got 7 teeth already. He actually cut his 1st 2 teeth at 4 months. And 00:22:44.039 --> 00:22:48.206 then they just started popping in his mouth and I couldn't, I couldn't 00:22:48.239 --> 00:22:55.276 keep him from eating regular food and now It's crazy at the age of 9, he's 00:22:55.309 --> 00:23:01.035 5'5 and he's the size of a high schooler and he's very intelligent. He's 00:23:01.068 --> 00:23:05.795 in 4th grade going into 5th, but he reads at a 9th grade level and his 00:23:05.828 --> 00:23:11.436 math is at a 6th grade level and everybody's like he's so intelligent, but 00:23:11.469 --> 00:23:15.117 he kind of has an aura about him. I think it's because he was born early 00:23:15.150 --> 00:23:20.766 and God really did help me a lot, making sure that he was healthy because 00:23:20.799 --> 00:23:26.916 um. He absorbs feelings in a room. If it's chaotic and intense, he can 00:23:26.949 --> 00:23:30.555 feel that, and he tries to calm the situation down cause he doesn't like 00:23:30.588 --> 00:23:34.785 it. Um, at first it was a little rough for him too because he did develop 00:23:34.818 --> 00:23:38.916 febrile seizures because he was born early, so his body couldn't regulate 00:23:38.949 --> 00:23:43.676 his temperature all the time. So for the 1st 5 years of his life, I had to 00:23:43.709 --> 00:23:47.877 deal with seizures almost every other month because the heat would get to 00:23:47.910 --> 00:23:53.186 him or an illness would get to him. Um. But he still kind of has that 00:23:53.219 --> 00:23:57.107 personality where he can walk into a room and if somebody needs a hug or 00:23:57.140 --> 00:24:00.666 if they just need something nice and then he walks straight up to the 00:24:00.699 --> 00:24:05.946 stranger and I'll talk to him and kind of hold their hand a little bit. 00:24:05.979 --> 00:24:12.526 It's really weird. He's told stories a couple of times where he's like. 00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:16.926 You smell that I'm like smell what and he's like, oh, smells like heaven. 00:24:16.959 --> 00:24:21.815 I'm just like, OK, what are you talking about, kid? And he's like, I 00:24:21.848 --> 00:24:26.196 don't know, remember when you used to sing to me and when he was in the 00:24:26.229 --> 00:24:31.736 ICU, I sang to him every day. Lots and lots of different songs, a lot of 00:24:31.769 --> 00:24:38.516 hymns, a lot of biblical songs just to give him strength, but He, he 00:24:38.549 --> 00:24:43.956 pulled through and. Sometimes I don't know how, but he just knows when, 00:24:43.989 --> 00:24:47.795 when I need strength, and he'll come and talk to me and I'm just like, how 00:24:47.828 --> 00:24:54.956 are you 9? So he is definitely my miracle child. 00:24:54.989 --> 00:24:59.726 And he's very modest. He doesn't like me talking about it a lot. He's very 00:24:59.759 --> 00:25:05.085 sensitive and I love that, you know, as big as he is, he, he stands up for 00:25:05.118 --> 00:25:12.410 the little guy and he's not afraid to cry. So I'm very lucky to have him. 00:25:12.529 --> 00:25:14.529 That is the most remarkable story, and you are a gifted storyteller. 00:25:24.880 --> 00:25:28.006 Really, truly, I know, no, it was, it's really beautiful and thank you 00:25:28.039 --> 00:25:33.085 sounds like you have this really amazing son who's like intuitive and You 00:25:33.118 --> 00:25:40.166 know, yeah, I tends to total, yeah, yeah. The world needs people with 00:25:40.199 --> 00:25:46.166 compassion, you know, so it's so good to hear that young people have it 00:25:46.199 --> 00:25:51.847 still, you know, I worry about young people these days. Well, you know, 00:25:51.880 --> 00:25:56.295 being a nurse too, when I first moved to Payson, I was a special needs 00:25:56.328 --> 00:26:02.127 nurse, so I dealt with a lot of autistic children and I mean, my brother's 00:26:02.160 --> 00:26:06.766 handicapped, so my whole life I've dealt with special needs, but my kids 00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:10.805 are the biggest fans. I they actually all these medals you see around my 00:26:10.838 --> 00:26:15.647 house, they are unified partners in the Special Olympics and have been. Um 00:26:15.680 --> 00:26:21.367 , I helped start the unified team in Payson before we moved here, they had 00:26:21.400 --> 00:26:24.647 no unified partners. They really didn't even know that there was a program 00:26:24.680 --> 00:26:31.137 that a regular person could compete with an athlete. And they could go 00:26:31.170 --> 00:26:36.137 together and I told them, oh my gosh, you don't know about Play Unified? 00:26:36.170 --> 00:26:40.585 Uh let's let's do this. Let's start this. So I started for track and field 00:26:40.618 --> 00:26:44.186 and then this year we did basketball, track and field and swimming in Play 00:26:44.219 --> 00:26:49.186 Unified, and they're actually a million strong right now nationwide for 00:26:49.219 --> 00:26:53.107 Play Unified. It's a very big push that they're doing, but both my kids 00:26:53.140 --> 00:26:59.137 are amazing little helpers. And when it comes to special needs, they, they 00:26:59.170 --> 00:27:04.696 see no difference, so they have a lot of really good relationships in the 00:27:04.729 --> 00:27:09.617 community because of that. And it's, it's important that you teach them at 00:27:09.650 --> 00:27:14.285 a very young age. Different is not bad, different is good, and we all need 00:27:14.318 --> 00:27:20.246 to get along to make it. So, yeah, I'm very, very blessed with the two 00:27:20.279 --> 00:27:23.585 little kids that I have. 00:27:23.618 --> 00:27:31.217 I have a son who's 4 turning 5 in August and doing this um project has 00:27:31.250 --> 00:27:35.176 really helped teach me how to be a better mom, you know, in many ways, you 00:27:35.209 --> 00:27:39.055 know, because we've heard stories from women of all generations and the 00:27:39.088 --> 00:27:44.416 way they talk about just motherhood and what it means to them and you know 00:27:44.449 --> 00:27:48.436 the kind of kids that they've raised and it's it's really been very 00:27:48.469 --> 00:27:52.406 interesting and insightful for me. As someone who's looking down the road 00:27:52.439 --> 00:27:59.377 and, you know, trying to grow the best it's hard. Society itself is so 00:27:59.410 --> 00:28:04.897 harsh and so mean, and you still have to teach them how to love and be 00:28:04.930 --> 00:28:10.276 open minded and Still be able to be vulnerable but street smart so they 00:28:10.309 --> 00:28:14.597 don't get taken advantage of. Yeah. So do you want to tell us about your 00:28:14.630 --> 00:28:21.226 second birth? OK, cool. That's um fine. 00:28:21.259 --> 00:28:25.857 She was. What is the age gap? Was it planned? It was not planned again, um 00:28:25.890 --> 00:28:31.906 , they are 2 years, 1 month and 11 days apart. Uh, again, I actually got 00:28:31.939 --> 00:28:39.006 pregnant around the same time in November, um, And this time we had 2 boys 00:28:39.039 --> 00:28:43.736 and I 00:28:43.769 --> 00:28:50.016 I really wasn't ready for another one because I was so sick and very 00:28:50.049 --> 00:28:53.456 selfishly was thinking if I get pregnant again, I'm gonna get sick and I'm 00:28:53.489 --> 00:28:58.456 gonna die and somebody else is going to raise my kid and I don't want that. 00:28:58.489 --> 00:29:06.097 So In December, I noticed him sleeping more, and I just kind of looked at 00:29:06.130 --> 00:29:10.637 him and said. If I take a pregnancy test and I'm pregnant, I might hurt 00:29:10.670 --> 00:29:15.776 you. And he kind of laughed and he said, well, you don't have to do that 00:29:15.809 --> 00:29:19.456 cause I have my stomach's been upset lately and I've been super tired, so 00:29:19.489 --> 00:29:24.406 I know you're pregnant already. And I was like, please, so I took 3, and 00:29:24.439 --> 00:29:29.406 they all came back positive. And you know, but this pregnancy was much 00:29:29.439 --> 00:29:35.367 different internally, I could feel myself and I was happy, and I had more 00:29:35.400 --> 00:29:41.877 energy and It just, it felt completely different. I totally went with a 00:29:41.910 --> 00:29:46.196 different doctor cause I wanted somebody who was gonna listen to me, voice 00:29:46.229 --> 00:29:50.516 my opinions immediately and not just oh well this is this is just what it 00:29:50.549 --> 00:29:54.117 is. This is just what it is. So they actually placed me with a high risk 00:29:54.150 --> 00:29:58.637 doctor and he was absolutely amazing. He listened to me, he was receptive 00:29:58.670 --> 00:30:05.035 , he took all the precautions he needed to throughout the whole pregnancy. 00:30:05.068 --> 00:30:08.766 Um, I didn't start gaining weight until my second term, and then it 00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:14.835 wasn't a lot of weight. It was here, their weight, and I was able to walk 00:30:14.868 --> 00:30:21.565 and live the normal pregnancy kind of love your pregnancy body. Uh, I ate 00:30:21.598 --> 00:30:27.045 , I was happy, you know, it was completely different than the first time, 00:30:27.078 --> 00:30:29.357 um. 00:30:29.390 --> 00:30:35.335 I think I was about 4.5 months and I was like, oh, I'm gonna have another 00:30:35.368 --> 00:30:41.055 boy. This is great. I can't be a mother of a little girl cause I just will 00:30:41.088 --> 00:30:47.426 fight all the time and Her her dad looked at me and said. You're in for a 00:30:47.459 --> 00:30:52.026 rude awakening. I had a dream. I said, no, you're in your dreams and all 00:30:52.059 --> 00:30:55.785 this and you felt the morning sickness before I did it. You're so full of 00:30:55.818 --> 00:31:00.585 it. Just leave me alone. I had a dream, we're having a little girl, and 00:31:00.618 --> 00:31:04.186 then the week after that, my mom said, I had a dream, you're having a 00:31:04.219 --> 00:31:08.585 little girl. I said, I'm not, no, I'm not listening to you. I'm gonna get 00:31:08.618 --> 00:31:13.526 my ultrasound and I think it was about 2 weeks cause I would have been 5.5 00:31:13.559 --> 00:31:18.496 months. And they had been monitoring me. She was completely healthy. She 00:31:18.529 --> 00:31:24.575 was moving. Her heart rate was great. Finally, at 5.5, all the dogs, sorry 00:31:24.608 --> 00:31:30.416 , um, at 515, they did it and they said it's a girl, and I immediately 00:31:30.449 --> 00:31:32.867 started crying. 00:31:32.900 --> 00:31:38.867 I was so depressed. It's like, no, you don't understand my attitude plus 00:31:38.900 --> 00:31:43.325 another woman's attitude. We're not gonna make it. And the doctor's like, 00:31:43.358 --> 00:31:47.085 No, no, I'm pretty sure it's a girl. You can come back in a month and 00:31:47.118 --> 00:31:50.607 we'll do a 3D ultrasound because you're high risk, but I'm pretty sure 00:31:50.640 --> 00:31:56.285 that this is a girl. I don't think it's changing on me any. So I got, I'm 00:31:56.318 --> 00:31:59.617 gonna have to pause again. 00:31:59.650 --> 00:32:03.137 There must be someone outside Christian, 00:32:03.170 --> 00:32:05.897 go tell them to be quiet, please. Well, now we know where he gets his 00:32:05.930 --> 00:32:13.397 empathicness. His daddy's empathic and your mom. He's clumsy. Well, you 00:32:13.430 --> 00:32:19.607 can't be everything. He's only be really good at 3 things maybe, yeah, and 00:32:19.640 --> 00:32:25.436 he's grown so much that he just is not grown into his body. He's still 00:32:25.469 --> 00:32:33.469 very awkward doing things and it's just 00:32:35.229 --> 00:32:38.916 yeah and he loves, I mean he actually wants to be a scientist. 00:32:38.949 --> 00:32:44.387 He loves rocket ships and satellites, so. That's a big thing. We need 00:32:44.420 --> 00:32:51.916 someone to help NASA programs are thank you falling from the wayside. 00:32:51.949 --> 00:32:54.867 Uh-huh. 00:32:54.900 --> 00:33:02.900 But Oh, honey bun was trying to get in the yard. Oh, OK. All right, so 00:33:07.009 --> 00:33:15.009 yeah. So I found out it was a girl. I was crying my eyes out. I called 00:33:15.199 --> 00:33:18.196 everybody, I said, you guys are right and I don't like you. I'm on my way 00:33:18.229 --> 00:33:23.835 home now. I got home, my parents, both my parents were sitting at the bar. 00:33:23.868 --> 00:33:29.117 My husband was there, his brother was there, and 00:33:29.150 --> 00:33:34.196 There was just girl stuff everywhere. They'd rushed out and they were so 00:33:34.229 --> 00:33:39.676 excited. I literally had a closet full of girl clothes and all these girl 00:33:39.709 --> 00:33:44.276 blankets and he had this big smile and these pink balloons and I was like 00:33:44.309 --> 00:33:49.357 , what is going on here? He said, you should be happy. We have 2 boys and 00:33:49.390 --> 00:33:53.137 now we have a girl. I said, you have 2 boys. And he was like, no, we have 00:33:53.170 --> 00:33:59.986 2 boys. So I started to embrace the fact that I was pregnant with a girl. 00:34:00.019 --> 00:34:04.666 I realized that at that point in time too, that's why all of my cravings 00:34:04.699 --> 00:34:11.345 were different, completely different. Uh, with him, I was very healthy, uh 00:34:11.378 --> 00:34:15.706 , lots of pineapple and baked chicken and broccoli, couldn't really 00:34:15.739 --> 00:34:22.236 stomach fried foods. Her I wanted french fries and pizza and I love candy 00:34:22.269 --> 00:34:24.595 , 00:34:24.628 --> 00:34:27.865 so I was like, OK, this, this, so you've been trying to tell me the whole 00:34:27.898 --> 00:34:35.898 time. Christian, I don't answer it. Just hang it up, please. 00:34:38.099 --> 00:34:41.526 OK, so. 00:34:41.559 --> 00:34:44.057 I can 00:34:44.090 --> 00:34:50.976 It's OK to get settled in. OK, sit down. Thanks. 00:34:51.009 --> 00:34:53.956 OK. 00:34:53.989 --> 00:34:58.296 So if I would have just been listening to my body, I probably would have 00:34:58.329 --> 00:35:04.615 known that it was gonna be a girl. And um at that point in time, we were 00:35:04.648 --> 00:35:09.006 in the process of selling our house because we wanted to buy a house here 00:35:09.039 --> 00:35:14.126 and I ended up, well, we ended up moving in with my parents and my 00:35:14.159 --> 00:35:19.166 grandmother was there. And I'm about 7.5 months pregnant. Everything is 00:35:19.199 --> 00:35:25.296 going great. Got all the way up to 38 weeks and I found out my cousin 00:35:25.329 --> 00:35:29.595 actually committed suicide. The day before I went into my doctor's 00:35:29.628 --> 00:35:33.195 appointment and when I went into the doctor's appointment, I was like, I'm 00:35:33.228 --> 00:35:36.796 going to eat at Lone Star. I'm still a little depressed because it was my 00:35:36.829 --> 00:35:40.115 favorite cousin who actually would come over and cook for me when I was 00:35:40.148 --> 00:35:44.327 pregnant with Christians and make sure that everything was done. And she 00:35:44.360 --> 00:35:47.405 used to rub my belly and call him Spike all the time because I don't know 00:35:47.438 --> 00:35:52.006 if you're big on like soap operas. At that point in time, General Hospital 00:35:52.039 --> 00:35:54.925 , there was this lady pregnant, and they always used to call her kids 00:35:54.958 --> 00:35:59.445 Spike. So she used to call my baby Spike. Come on, Spike, I'm ready to 00:35:59.478 --> 00:36:04.046 meet you. Let's do this. Come on, I'm ready. So, uh, I was a little 00:36:04.079 --> 00:36:07.967 depressed and when I went into the doctor's, he said, Man, you had a good 00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:11.206 run at this. I said, yeah, I know. I'm gonna go eat lunch, and he's like, 00:36:11.239 --> 00:36:15.106 no. We're walking across the parking lot and you're gonna have this baby 00:36:15.139 --> 00:36:20.506 today. Let's meet your daughter, I said, no. It's scheduled for next week. 00:36:20.539 --> 00:36:25.307 It's the 29th of August. You scheduled it for the 5th of September. I 00:36:25.340 --> 00:36:28.706 don't wanna have her today. I wanna go eat lunch. I haven't eaten all day. 00:36:28.739 --> 00:36:33.296 I'm hungry. I wanna go eat lunch. And he said, no, no, we're gonna go 00:36:33.329 --> 00:36:37.666 check you in and to make sure you check in, I'm gonna walk with you. So we 00:36:37.699 --> 00:36:40.267 come out of the room and my mom's like, Are you ready? And he's like, yeah 00:36:40.300 --> 00:36:43.566 , we're gonna go check her in now. She said, What? It's like her blood 00:36:43.599 --> 00:36:47.477 pressure is a little high. And she said, I told you not to worry about it 00:36:47.510 --> 00:36:51.727 , you know, things happen in life and you just have to deal with it. And I 00:36:51.760 --> 00:36:55.767 told you last night to stop crying. I knew this was gonna happen. So we 00:36:55.800 --> 00:36:59.577 walked over to the hospital and we checked in and he said, OK, I'll be 00:36:59.610 --> 00:37:04.537 back at 5:30 and I kind of looked at him and I was like it. It is 10 in 00:37:04.570 --> 00:37:09.037 the morning. What do you mean 5:30? And because it's a sarin, you can't 00:37:09.070 --> 00:37:11.166 eat. 00:37:11.199 --> 00:37:14.896 So I was starving and then I started getting angry and he's like, if you 00:37:14.929 --> 00:37:19.577 get angry, your blood pressure is just gonna go higher. So at 5:30 they 00:37:19.610 --> 00:37:24.175 came into the room and said, well, there's another patient and she has a 00:37:24.208 --> 00:37:28.497 fever, so we have to get her first. I was like, oh this is gonna take 00:37:28.530 --> 00:37:35.385 forever. This is crazy. So finally they wheeled me into the room and um. 00:37:35.418 --> 00:37:39.566 It was just like that before I knew it, she was out crying and she had a 00:37:39.599 --> 00:37:44.086 head full of black hair and her dad was crying and my mom was crying and I 00:37:44.119 --> 00:37:47.365 was like, why is everybody crying? Cause she's healthy and you're healthy 00:37:47.398 --> 00:37:50.227 and everything's OK. 00:37:50.260 --> 00:37:57.376 So they took her downstairs and in the elevator. 00:37:57.409 --> 00:38:00.856 My husband was standing there next to my mom and they were looking at her 00:38:00.889 --> 00:38:06.577 and just saying how beautiful she was and this doctor got in with them and 00:38:06.610 --> 00:38:09.416 the nurse was like, oh look how long her fingers are. She's gonna be a 00:38:09.449 --> 00:38:14.155 piano player, she could do this. And of course my mother being who she is 00:38:14.188 --> 00:38:18.736 , no, she's gonna be a surgeon. And the doctor looked at her and said, my 00:38:18.769 --> 00:38:23.206 mom said the same thing about me, and I'm a surgeon. And it was funny 00:38:23.239 --> 00:38:29.356 because I, I was working. And running an urgent care and I worked in a 00:38:29.389 --> 00:38:33.997 very predominant Beverly Hills medical office and I had to bring her to 00:38:34.030 --> 00:38:37.635 work one day with me because she got sick, so I wanted the physician's 00:38:37.668 --> 00:38:42.936 assistant to see her. And we were there and there was this Really nice 00:38:42.969 --> 00:38:48.336 Ferrari sitting right next to my car, and at 5, she looked at me and said 00:38:48.369 --> 00:38:53.365 , huh. Kind of car is that mommy? And I was like, it's a Ferrari. I said, 00:38:53.398 --> 00:38:59.256 you see that that that doctor so and so, he's a neurosurgeon. OK, I want 00:38:59.289 --> 00:39:05.856 to be a neurosurgeon. So to this day, she will be 8 in August. Every day 00:39:05.889 --> 00:39:10.396 she asks me, OK, what exactly do I need to know? If I practice this, I can 00:39:10.429 --> 00:39:14.217 be a doctor, and how long do I have to go to school. So she kind of 00:39:14.250 --> 00:39:18.816 already has her what she wants to do mapped out. We'll see if she really 00:39:18.849 --> 00:39:25.186 is going to be a neurosurgeon. She's, she's very much. Stand up for the 00:39:25.219 --> 00:39:30.666 little guy, but she's very athletic. She's full of fire. Everybody who 00:39:30.699 --> 00:39:35.307 sees her play sports, they're like, man, she's amazing. She is the only 00:39:35.340 --> 00:39:39.956 little girl on all of the boys' teams. She plays football, she plays 00:39:39.989 --> 00:39:43.905 baseball. They kept telling her, no, you should play softball, and she 00:39:43.938 --> 00:39:47.986 said, no, I'm gonna play baseball. So she was the only girl in the league 00:39:48.019 --> 00:39:52.666 this year and she had to try out and she was amazing. Her coaches loved 00:39:52.699 --> 00:39:58.916 her. I mean, She's my little spitfire. She's full. I keep thinking she's 00:39:58.949 --> 00:40:03.316 gonna be a lawyer because she, she has valid points when she argues 00:40:03.349 --> 00:40:10.106 already. And she can maintain a very calm, peaceful argument voice, which 00:40:10.139 --> 00:40:16.936 is something not normal, um, but she's very much a tomboy, so I'm OK with 00:40:16.969 --> 00:40:20.425 that because I keep telling her you don't have to find yourself feminine 00:40:20.458 --> 00:40:25.626 until you're 35 and I'm OK with that. Save me some heartache and trouble. 00:40:25.659 --> 00:40:31.467 I am OK. So it's um. 00:40:31.500 --> 00:40:36.796 It's fun just watching their lives unfold, right? And you have really no 00:40:36.829 --> 00:40:41.195 idea what paths they're going to take them and what directions exactly. 00:40:41.228 --> 00:40:46.155 And like I said, it was night and day. I mean between both stories and how 00:40:46.188 --> 00:40:54.046 it went down. So they're very much night and day children. They are. 00:40:54.079 --> 00:40:56.115 Yeah. 00:40:56.148 --> 00:40:59.856 Yes, your night. 00:40:59.889 --> 00:41:06.776 Uh-huh. Yeah, she does not have a scared bone in her body and at a very 00:41:06.809 --> 00:41:11.166 young age she was like that. I can remember one time I was, it was super 00:41:11.199 --> 00:41:15.776 late. It was probably about 9:30 and she was about 18 months old and I 00:41:15.809 --> 00:41:19.256 went to check her bed and she wasn't there and I got really worried. She's 00:41:19.289 --> 00:41:24.247 standing in the dark hallway giggling just like that giggling. 00:41:24.280 --> 00:41:28.276 I'm like, I found her. I said, you're not scared. 00:41:28.309 --> 00:41:32.577 Mama, I was like, oh my gosh, this child's gonna give me a heart attack. 00:41:32.610 --> 00:41:38.856 Yeah, not, not scared of a thing at all. So I did scare my brother. I'm 00:41:38.889 --> 00:41:41.506 sure 00:41:41.539 --> 00:41:45.506 you have a really incredible family. Thank you so much for talking with us. 00:41:45.539 --> 00:41:51.986 Oh, no problem. Thank you. I enjoy, like I said, I, um, after Christian's 00:41:52.019 --> 00:41:56.626 birth, I talked to a bunch of people just because I wanted to get the fact 00:41:56.659 --> 00:42:02.816 that you could have a very traumatic experience but get through it. And it 00:42:02.849 --> 00:42:06.856 is a lot about your support team. I'm for a year and a half after he was 00:42:06.889 --> 00:42:11.175 born, my parents would tell me bits and pieces, bits and pieces because I 00:42:11.208 --> 00:42:15.977 was so loopy and so out of it I didn't realize what was going on. So I 00:42:16.010 --> 00:42:19.615 mean I really did see my dad crying and to this day he was like, I thought 00:42:19.648 --> 00:42:23.727 you were gonna die on us. Like I just, I just knew you weren't gonna be 00:42:23.760 --> 00:42:28.655 here. So it took about a year and a half for them to come completely clean 00:42:28.688 --> 00:42:34.577 with me. This is what was going on and this is what was happening and yeah. 00:42:34.610 --> 00:42:39.695 Yeah, so I can't imagine your emotional state of being a new mother and 00:42:39.728 --> 00:42:44.896 having not held your child, not seen your child. It was very hard. Like I 00:42:44.929 --> 00:42:49.695 said, it was. When she brought that picture in, it gave me hope because it 00:42:49.728 --> 00:42:53.206 was the only thing I had. I didn't know what he looked like. I didn't know 00:42:53.239 --> 00:42:58.816 if he had my nose or my husband's nose. I didn't know if he was pale. I 00:42:58.849 --> 00:43:03.706 didn't know if he had hair. I didn't know anything. So when she brought 00:43:03.739 --> 00:43:08.595 that picture and I was like, he's real. There's a real baby there, you 00:43:08.628 --> 00:43:13.836 know, there's something I can really see now. And that's kind of what gave 00:43:13.869 --> 00:43:16.836 me faith and I was like, OK, we're going to get better. We're going to do 00:43:16.869 --> 00:43:20.756 what we need to do because I don't want to be here. I want to be next to 00:43:20.789 --> 00:43:26.365 my baby and I treated it like a job. I was next to him all the time. I 00:43:26.398 --> 00:43:31.006 only stepped out of the NICU when they did their shift changes at 7 a.m. 00:43:31.039 --> 00:43:36.206 and 7 p.m. and then I was back in the door at 7:30. I wouldn't go back to 00:43:36.239 --> 00:43:39.727 my room until about 11:30 midnight, and they always just say, you need to 00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:44.537 go rest. You need to go rest. I'm like, no, I need to be next to my son. 00:43:44.570 --> 00:43:47.017 So 00:43:47.050 --> 00:43:53.206 I was there. When you um reflect back on your birth experiences, is there 00:43:53.239 --> 00:43:57.256 any way you can like come up with a word or phrasing of words that kind of 00:43:57.289 --> 00:44:00.566 summarizes it to some degree because we're putting these into themes 00:44:00.599 --> 00:44:08.599 that's helpful and insightful for us. 00:44:08.639 --> 00:44:14.497 With Christian, my whole pregnancy was a train wreck. But out of the train 00:44:14.530 --> 00:44:18.236 wreck, there was this. 00:44:18.269 --> 00:44:25.416 New sense of like faith and hope delivered. And that was my big thing was 00:44:25.449 --> 00:44:32.195 I had a a very new outlook on what God could really do for you, because he 00:44:32.228 --> 00:44:39.477 was so healthy, but I was just so sick. So that was very good for me. And 00:44:39.510 --> 00:44:44.896 with Michaela, it was just the whole pregnancy was very joyful. I really 00:44:44.929 --> 00:44:49.247 got to see why women are like, oh, I could do this all the time. I'm like 00:44:49.280 --> 00:44:53.885 , oh, good for you, but I mean I felt that joy. I got to embrace the fact 00:44:53.918 --> 00:44:59.767 , well, I'm pregnant and I, I like the glow and I like everything else. So 00:44:59.800 --> 00:45:04.635 yeah, it was just completely different. Awesome. All right, anything else 00:45:04.668 --> 00:45:08.349 before we shut it down? No, I think it's OK.