WEBVTT 00:00:00.829 --> 00:00:08.296 I, I look back and I've, I've. A lot of people say we were poor, and we 00:00:08.329 --> 00:00:13.857 have no resources. I always think that's a lie. I always say that's a lie 00:00:13.890 --> 00:00:21.706 , because we've got everything. And life out there. You can stand at the 00:00:21.739 --> 00:00:25.945 top of a hill and look around. Everything's there. If you look, if you 00:00:25.978 --> 00:00:32.576 listen, if you have knowledge, and you can. Be the richest person there. I 00:00:32.609 --> 00:00:38.277 was a little girl when I used to herd sheep and I found this 2 by 4. We 00:00:38.310 --> 00:00:44.906 didn't have any toys in those days, and I never knew there was a town or 00:00:44.939 --> 00:00:49.765 another place besides where we lived, the whole gun. 00:00:49.798 --> 00:00:55.125 And I was hurting the sheep and I found this 2 by 4. And I looked at it 00:00:55.158 --> 00:00:58.996 and I thought, I wonder what they use this for, because we don't use 00:00:59.029 --> 00:01:06.165 lumbers in our hoa. But on the wagon, there are boards. So I guess I got 00:01:06.198 --> 00:01:11.766 to talking about my grandpa. He told me they were lumbers. And then one 00:01:11.799 --> 00:01:17.495 day I was sitting there looking at the, the, the 2 by 4. And I started 00:01:17.528 --> 00:01:23.805 running this imagination. It's just a little girl, and then I thought. 00:01:23.838 --> 00:01:28.855 This is my baby. This is my towel. 00:01:28.888 --> 00:01:35.286 And I tore up one of my bottom skirt off and I wrap it. And I don't know 00:01:35.319 --> 00:01:40.087 who told me to to how to take care of the baby. But I used to hide it in 00:01:40.120 --> 00:01:44.326 the sagebrush because if I took it home, my grandma would build a fire 00:01:44.359 --> 00:01:46.876 with it. 00:01:46.909 --> 00:01:53.555 So every time I go there, she I pick it up and talk to that board. I don't 00:01:53.588 --> 00:01:57.676 know, maybe the wind took it away, maybe my grandma found it and built a 00:01:57.709 --> 00:02:05.709 fire with it. Uh, but that, that was my childhood, you know, so. Um, along 00:02:06.058 --> 00:02:10.267 with that, my, my grandparents and my parents, they talked to me about 00:02:10.300 --> 00:02:14.237 someday I'm gonna have a family of my own. 00:02:14.270 --> 00:02:18.816 And then I thought, what are they telling me? Am I good enough, you know, 00:02:18.849 --> 00:02:26.316 I'm a child here. And there was my aunt and my sister, but the, the PIA 00:02:26.349 --> 00:02:31.270 school takes them away and they go to school somewhere. I don't even know. 00:02:31.508 --> 00:02:33.508 So I stay home. I heard she I wasn't old enough to go to school. So I 00:02:36.330 --> 00:02:44.330 learned to ride horse. It was a lot of um. A venture that I. I see, but 00:02:44.419 --> 00:02:50.416 besides becoming a mom and all the preparation of being brought up. With 00:02:50.449 --> 00:02:58.449 the firm and instruction and. And all the artwork, how to take care of the 00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:05.936 livestock, how to fix it for meat, how to use the wool to make dress and 00:03:05.969 --> 00:03:12.755 blankets and. I learned all those things. We were taken away from a 00:03:12.788 --> 00:03:20.177 boarding school. They just load us up and hauled us away. And I didn't see 00:03:20.210 --> 00:03:26.606 my parents for 9 months at a time. And they do all kinds of stuff to us. 00:03:26.639 --> 00:03:31.967 They I have real long hair, they cut it up. Because I don't know how to 00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:36.386 braid my hair. And what I learned, it took me a long time to braid it, so 00:03:36.419 --> 00:03:39.457 they just chop it up. 00:03:39.490 --> 00:03:47.267 That That's how I went to school and I always told my kids. You know, 00:03:47.300 --> 00:03:54.866 You're very fortunate. Your mom, your dad can't speak English. 00:03:54.899 --> 00:04:02.899 My parents didn't speak English. And my, my father. He told me he says, um. 00:04:03.129 --> 00:04:10.755 Go to school And I want you to go at this piece of paper. Why people are 00:04:10.788 --> 00:04:15.577 talking about a piece of paper. He said, go get it and show me what it 00:04:15.610 --> 00:04:20.937 looks like. He said they call it diploma. 00:04:20.970 --> 00:04:25.166 I said I'll look forward. I didn't know what it looked like I was just a 00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:33.199 little girl, so. I went and I, I. I went to school and first I, I was in 00:04:34.209 --> 00:04:38.887 high school when I met my children's father. I was sitting in the 00:04:38.920 --> 00:04:43.805 classroom and he was sitting behind me. He had a pin and poked me right 00:04:43.838 --> 00:04:51.838 here. And he said, what's your name? And I didn't know what to tell him. I 00:04:53.079 --> 00:04:57.026 just didn't bother him for the the I think the 3rd day I finally told him 00:04:57.059 --> 00:05:01.717 . I, I didn't tell him my name, but I told him I got transferred. He asked 00:05:01.750 --> 00:05:09.026 me where I was from. Because I mean, um, I came in in midterm. 00:05:09.059 --> 00:05:17.007 And he says, you're really smart. I said maybe. I don't know. So he kept 00:05:17.040 --> 00:05:21.717 doing it and pretty soon we, he said, let's go to the ceremony together. 00:05:21.750 --> 00:05:26.336 So we went, I didn't know he didn't speak Navajo. He was brought up in a 00:05:26.369 --> 00:05:31.257 mission. So I, I was talking to him in Navajo and he said, I don't 00:05:31.290 --> 00:05:35.137 understand what you're saying. That's how we met. We started going 00:05:35.170 --> 00:05:41.096 together and he asked me if he could meet my parents. I said no. 00:05:41.129 --> 00:05:47.075 My mom, my dad said I'm not ready. I gotta go get a piece of paper. And I 00:05:47.108 --> 00:05:51.156 got my diploma. My father and my mother were there. When I walked across 00:05:51.189 --> 00:05:56.906 the stage, I went to them. And I opened my diploma and I told my dad, this 00:05:56.939 --> 00:06:01.717 is what it looks like. He said, Archie. 00:06:01.750 --> 00:06:07.606 This is what they're talking about. He spent 12 years away from us. What 00:06:07.639 --> 00:06:12.305 did they teach you to give you a piece of paper? 00:06:12.338 --> 00:06:19.286 We have worldwide reservation Hawaii, what do you learn. It's higher than 00:06:19.319 --> 00:06:22.967 that piece of paper. 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:28.877 He wasn't angry but that was his remark. And then right there he told me 00:06:28.910 --> 00:06:36.796 by now I think you know. You're not done. You had to go again. You go to 00:06:36.829 --> 00:06:41.757 college, something called college. Go over there. There's another paper 00:06:41.790 --> 00:06:49.790 that go get it. When I had my first child, my, I was still in school. My 00:06:50.139 --> 00:06:53.736 grandmother is the one that delivered me. 00:06:53.769 --> 00:06:58.187 And of course they don't talk about it. 00:06:58.220 --> 00:07:06.220 Nobody told me. It's private. And It's not gonna be exactly the way they 00:07:06.649 --> 00:07:13.416 experience my parents. Um, I heard a lot of stuff through school. Our 00:07:13.449 --> 00:07:16.257 health 00:07:16.290 --> 00:07:22.947 And uh but it didn't dawn on me. It was just talk. It's not because 00:07:22.980 --> 00:07:27.947 somebody had a baby with a horrible pain. 00:07:27.980 --> 00:07:35.217 And uh some of them didn't even show they were having babies. And 00:07:35.250 --> 00:07:41.705 The only thing she told me is, um, my dad got so scared, he panic, he 00:07:41.738 --> 00:07:46.515 packed his stuff and took them outside. And he put them all against the 00:07:46.548 --> 00:07:51.476 hill and put the food out there, blankets. I don't know why he was 00:07:51.509 --> 00:07:55.486 thinking. And then they told him, you come back in here, you have a little 00:07:55.519 --> 00:07:57.507 girl. 00:07:57.540 --> 00:08:01.567 So my, my, my grandmother said. 00:08:01.600 --> 00:08:06.586 Who are we to talk about somebody else? 00:08:06.619 --> 00:08:13.866 Because it's our own personal experience. I went to the hospital. 00:08:13.899 --> 00:08:18.187 I, I have my babies in the hospital. 00:08:18.220 --> 00:08:23.426 I was by myself. I 00:08:23.459 --> 00:08:28.296 That's the way it was, you know, they never were there when we were with 00:08:28.329 --> 00:08:34.265 our whoever we made with and. You know, it's something we made a decision 00:08:34.298 --> 00:08:37.217 on to have a baby. 00:08:37.250 --> 00:08:41.677 And that the baby is born, then they come in. 00:08:41.710 --> 00:08:48.037 My labors were really painful. I want the pain to go away, but I have my 00:08:48.070 --> 00:08:53.826 little girl. I look at my daughter and what I saw on that board, the 2 by 00:08:53.859 --> 00:08:57.895 4, that's what my daughter looked like. 00:08:57.928 --> 00:09:05.836 Maybe similar black hair and. And I just cry. I cried because that's what 00:09:05.869 --> 00:09:11.775 I saw. That was the love I saw when I was a little girl. When I left the 00:09:11.808 --> 00:09:18.436 hospital from Tuba, I told him I want to go home. And they said, do you 00:09:18.469 --> 00:09:23.436 have a right? I didn't want to be in there, so I said, yes, I have a right. 00:09:23.469 --> 00:09:29.635 So they gave me some little blankets and some bottle and I don't remember 00:09:29.668 --> 00:09:34.275 what else they gave me. I was just a little kid myself and then I went to 00:09:34.308 --> 00:09:41.566 this mission in Cuba. And then I found out we ran out of milk. I wasn't 00:09:41.599 --> 00:09:47.496 nursing her. I tried to nurse her. She wouldn't, she won't even swallow 00:09:47.529 --> 00:09:55.529 any. So I left her there. Talking about uh child like. I left, I look 00:09:57.000 --> 00:10:02.645 around, there was nobody around. So I put her to bed and had had hidden 00:10:02.678 --> 00:10:07.967 her behind on the blanket and I ran all the way down to the trading post. 00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:14.125 It's just about a block. And about can mail. I I think it was coronation 00:10:14.158 --> 00:10:20.496 , and then I ran all the way back. I wasn't sure what to do. I was 00:10:20.529 --> 00:10:25.616 thinking about how we nurse um the lamb and the little kids, you know, I 00:10:25.649 --> 00:10:33.307 was thinking about that. And then I I went, um, as one of the lady and. 00:10:33.340 --> 00:10:40.375 She, she gave me the knife. And I opened the can. And she asked me what it 00:10:40.408 --> 00:10:47.717 was for. I told him I wouldn't drink it. I didn't tell her I had the baby 00:10:47.750 --> 00:10:52.717 because they would say, everybody will gossip if a young girl has a baby 00:10:52.750 --> 00:10:56.875 in those days, they would say, she's no good, she runs around, that's how 00:10:56.908 --> 00:11:02.736 she got pregnant, all this, you know, so I don't want nobody to know. 00:11:02.769 --> 00:11:09.375 There was a man that had a little uh church down in our area. So he comes 00:11:09.408 --> 00:11:16.775 into the city. He took us home. And it was funny. I got out of the car and 00:11:16.808 --> 00:11:24.808 I was carrying a baby. And It was no longer a 2 by 4. He was a real baby. 00:11:27.538 --> 00:11:29.538 And then they They blessed my, my daughter, and they put her in the cradle 00:11:32.580 --> 00:11:39.145 board. They left her arm hanging out and she was all waving it. 00:11:39.178 --> 00:11:47.178 And my, my mom said. Well now this is my baby. You go back to school. Go 00:11:47.190 --> 00:11:53.226 do what your father had asked of you to do for yourself. So you can come 00:11:53.259 --> 00:12:00.706 back and raise these kids. Because my mom was. My, my, my teacher, she 00:12:00.739 --> 00:12:06.066 taught me everything. I know she would. Do better than what she taught me. 00:12:06.099 --> 00:12:09.297 You know, there are things she left out. Maybe she learned more about 00:12:09.330 --> 00:12:13.537 that she would share with my daughter. She said, I'm not gonna raise her. 00:12:13.570 --> 00:12:16.917 I'm just taking care of her. 00:12:16.950 --> 00:12:24.265 So I did and I went back to school. It was OK, and when he got to English 00:12:24.298 --> 00:12:30.836 , it got so difficult and. And I, I, my professor told us that um we had 00:12:30.869 --> 00:12:34.066 to write an essay. 00:12:34.099 --> 00:12:40.385 And I knew what essay is from my point of view, so I wrote it. And in 00:12:40.418 --> 00:12:44.625 front of everybody, she walked up to me, she says, this is not how you do 00:12:44.658 --> 00:12:47.326 essay. 00:12:47.359 --> 00:12:51.936 And she was so upset with me. She looked at me, she says, I don't think 00:12:51.969 --> 00:12:55.956 you belong in college. 00:12:55.989 --> 00:13:00.586 And everybody was quiet. I know everybody was listening. It took me a 00:13:00.619 --> 00:13:04.885 while and I finally said, you know. 00:13:04.918 --> 00:13:11.836 You, you said that um I don't belong here. As to what if? If it's you that 00:13:11.869 --> 00:13:17.547 don't belong in here. If you think that I don't understand whose fault is 00:13:17.580 --> 00:13:23.547 it? I said, you're the teacher. Maybe you need to do some more research 00:13:23.580 --> 00:13:28.557 and teach me how to do the essay the way you like it. The way you want my 00:13:28.590 --> 00:13:35.226 Navajo words to be turned around. And then After a while when I come home 00:13:35.259 --> 00:13:43.217 , she's my little girl started test tell I'm saying. My sister to me. 00:13:43.250 --> 00:13:45.936 And 00:13:45.969 --> 00:13:53.969 That kind of um. Put a confusion in my, in my heart and. 00:13:54.700 --> 00:13:59.875 And I, I, I didn't say what or anything. I just talked with her, told her 00:13:59.908 --> 00:14:06.196 what she wanted to know. And took a while and, and one day we're sitting 00:14:06.229 --> 00:14:11.816 together and she looked at me and she said, is it true? She said, Yolanda 00:14:11.849 --> 00:14:16.645 , is it true you're my mother? 00:14:16.678 --> 00:14:20.736 She was about 4. 00:14:20.769 --> 00:14:23.956 But I 00:14:23.989 --> 00:14:30.177 But I had my little girl. And that's that's how I look at it. I always say 00:14:30.210 --> 00:14:35.346 I was brought up in a very healthy environment. There was no drugs, no 00:14:35.379 --> 00:14:41.537 alcohol. No hitting, no spanking, no yelling, nothing. That's how I raised 00:14:41.570 --> 00:14:46.349 my family. I taught them everything I do.