I, I look back and I've, I've. A lot of people say we were poor, and we
have no resources. I always think that's a lie. I always say that's a lie
, because we've got everything. And life out there. You can stand at the
top of a hill and look around. Everything's there. If you look, if you
listen, if you have knowledge, and you can. Be the richest person there. I
was a little girl when I used to herd sheep and I found this 2 by 4. We
didn't have any toys in those days, and I never knew there was a town or
another place besides where we lived, the whole gun.
And I was hurting the sheep and I found this 2 by 4. And I looked at it
and I thought, I wonder what they use this for, because we don't use
lumbers in our hoa. But on the wagon, there are boards. So I guess I got
to talking about my grandpa. He told me they were lumbers. And then one
day I was sitting there looking at the, the, the 2 by 4. And I started
running this imagination. It's just a little girl, and then I thought.
This is my baby. This is my towel.
And I tore up one of my bottom skirt off and I wrap it. And I don't know
who told me to to how to take care of the baby. But I used to hide it in
the sagebrush because if I took it home, my grandma would build a fire
with it.
So every time I go there, she I pick it up and talk to that board. I don't
know, maybe the wind took it away, maybe my grandma found it and built a
fire with it. Uh, but that, that was my childhood, you know, so. Um, along
with that, my, my grandparents and my parents, they talked to me about
someday I'm gonna have a family of my own.
And then I thought, what are they telling me? Am I good enough, you know,
I'm a child here. And there was my aunt and my sister, but the, the PIA
school takes them away and they go to school somewhere. I don't even know.
So I stay home. I heard she I wasn't old enough to go to school. So I
learned to ride horse. It was a lot of um. A venture that I. I see, but
besides becoming a mom and all the preparation of being brought up. With
the firm and instruction and. And all the artwork, how to take care of the
livestock, how to fix it for meat, how to use the wool to make dress and
blankets and. I learned all those things. We were taken away from a
boarding school. They just load us up and hauled us away. And I didn't see
my parents for 9 months at a time. And they do all kinds of stuff to us.
They I have real long hair, they cut it up. Because I don't know how to
braid my hair. And what I learned, it took me a long time to braid it, so
they just chop it up.
That That's how I went to school and I always told my kids. You know,
You're very fortunate. Your mom, your dad can't speak English.
My parents didn't speak English. And my, my father. He told me he says, um.
Go to school And I want you to go at this piece of paper. Why people are
talking about a piece of paper. He said, go get it and show me what it
looks like. He said they call it diploma.
I said I'll look forward. I didn't know what it looked like I was just a
little girl, so. I went and I, I. I went to school and first I, I was in
high school when I met my children's father. I was sitting in the
classroom and he was sitting behind me. He had a pin and poked me right
here. And he said, what's your name? And I didn't know what to tell him. I
just didn't bother him for the the I think the 3rd day I finally told him
. I, I didn't tell him my name, but I told him I got transferred. He asked
me where I was from. Because I mean, um, I came in in midterm.
And he says, you're really smart. I said maybe. I don't know. So he kept
doing it and pretty soon we, he said, let's go to the ceremony together.
So we went, I didn't know he didn't speak Navajo. He was brought up in a
mission. So I, I was talking to him in Navajo and he said, I don't
understand what you're saying. That's how we met. We started going
together and he asked me if he could meet my parents. I said no.
My mom, my dad said I'm not ready. I gotta go get a piece of paper. And I
got my diploma. My father and my mother were there. When I walked across
the stage, I went to them. And I opened my diploma and I told my dad, this
is what it looks like. He said, Archie.
This is what they're talking about. He spent 12 years away from us. What
did they teach you to give you a piece of paper?
We have worldwide reservation Hawaii, what do you learn. It's higher than
that piece of paper.
He wasn't angry but that was his remark. And then right there he told me
by now I think you know. You're not done. You had to go again. You go to
college, something called college. Go over there. There's another paper
that go get it. When I had my first child, my, I was still in school. My
grandmother is the one that delivered me.
And of course they don't talk about it.
Nobody told me. It's private. And It's not gonna be exactly the way they
experience my parents. Um, I heard a lot of stuff through school. Our
health
And uh but it didn't dawn on me. It was just talk. It's not because
somebody had a baby with a horrible pain.
And uh some of them didn't even show they were having babies. And
The only thing she told me is, um, my dad got so scared, he panic, he
packed his stuff and took them outside. And he put them all against the
hill and put the food out there, blankets. I don't know why he was
thinking. And then they told him, you come back in here, you have a little
girl.
So my, my, my grandmother said.
Who are we to talk about somebody else?
Because it's our own personal experience. I went to the hospital.
I, I have my babies in the hospital.
I was by myself. I
That's the way it was, you know, they never were there when we were with
our whoever we made with and. You know, it's something we made a decision
on to have a baby.
And that the baby is born, then they come in.
My labors were really painful. I want the pain to go away, but I have my
little girl. I look at my daughter and what I saw on that board, the 2 by
4, that's what my daughter looked like.
Maybe similar black hair and. And I just cry. I cried because that's what
I saw. That was the love I saw when I was a little girl. When I left the
hospital from Tuba, I told him I want to go home. And they said, do you
have a right? I didn't want to be in there, so I said, yes, I have a right.
So they gave me some little blankets and some bottle and I don't remember
what else they gave me. I was just a little kid myself and then I went to
this mission in Cuba. And then I found out we ran out of milk. I wasn't
nursing her. I tried to nurse her. She wouldn't, she won't even swallow
any. So I left her there. Talking about uh child like. I left, I look
around, there was nobody around. So I put her to bed and had had hidden
her behind on the blanket and I ran all the way down to the trading post.
It's just about a block. And about can mail. I I think it was coronation
, and then I ran all the way back. I wasn't sure what to do. I was
thinking about how we nurse um the lamb and the little kids, you know, I
was thinking about that. And then I I went, um, as one of the lady and.
She, she gave me the knife. And I opened the can. And she asked me what it
was for. I told him I wouldn't drink it. I didn't tell her I had the baby
because they would say, everybody will gossip if a young girl has a baby
in those days, they would say, she's no good, she runs around, that's how
she got pregnant, all this, you know, so I don't want nobody to know.
There was a man that had a little uh church down in our area. So he comes
into the city. He took us home. And it was funny. I got out of the car and
I was carrying a baby. And It was no longer a 2 by 4. He was a real baby.
And then they They blessed my, my daughter, and they put her in the cradle
board. They left her arm hanging out and she was all waving it.
And my, my mom said. Well now this is my baby. You go back to school. Go
do what your father had asked of you to do for yourself. So you can come
back and raise these kids. Because my mom was. My, my, my teacher, she
taught me everything. I know she would. Do better than what she taught me.
You know, there are things she left out. Maybe she learned more about
that she would share with my daughter. She said, I'm not gonna raise her.
I'm just taking care of her.
So I did and I went back to school. It was OK, and when he got to English
, it got so difficult and. And I, I, my professor told us that um we had
to write an essay.
And I knew what essay is from my point of view, so I wrote it. And in
front of everybody, she walked up to me, she says, this is not how you do
essay.
And she was so upset with me. She looked at me, she says, I don't think
you belong in college.
And everybody was quiet. I know everybody was listening. It took me a
while and I finally said, you know.
You, you said that um I don't belong here. As to what if? If it's you that
don't belong in here. If you think that I don't understand whose fault is
it? I said, you're the teacher. Maybe you need to do some more research
and teach me how to do the essay the way you like it. The way you want my
Navajo words to be turned around. And then After a while when I come home
, she's my little girl started test tell I'm saying. My sister to me.
And
That kind of um. Put a confusion in my, in my heart and.
And I, I, I didn't say what or anything. I just talked with her, told her
what she wanted to know. And took a while and, and one day we're sitting
together and she looked at me and she said, is it true? She said, Yolanda
, is it true you're my mother?
She was about 4.
But I
But I had my little girl. And that's that's how I look at it. I always say
I was brought up in a very healthy environment. There was no drugs, no
alcohol. No hitting, no spanking, no yelling, nothing. That's how I raised
my family. I taught them everything I do.