WEBVTT 00:00:00.610 --> 00:00:04.186 I think I'm more nervous than you, OK. 00:00:04.219 --> 00:00:11.217 So 00:00:11.250 --> 00:00:16.175 This is Forra Solis interviewing Stacy Barr for the Creative Push project. 00:00:16.208 --> 00:00:20.896 Stacey, have you been given the um consent agreement form? Yes, I have, 00:00:20.929 --> 00:00:25.146 and you agree to the terms? Yes, I do. All right, we'll get through. OK. 00:00:25.179 --> 00:00:31.486 So could you start by telling us a little bit about yourself? Um, I am now 00:00:31.519 --> 00:00:39.519 52 years old. Uh, I've been in Scottsdale for about 25 years. And I sell 00:00:42.618 --> 00:00:48.307 art for Giert contemporary on Main Street. Yeah, and I've been there for 00:00:48.340 --> 00:00:53.296 quite some time, 14 years now. Yeah, love selling arts. Could you tell us 00:00:53.329 --> 00:01:01.329 a little bit about your family? Um, I met my significant other, Jim Ebert. 00:01:01.810 --> 00:01:04.855 In 2003. 00:01:04.888 --> 00:01:12.888 Um, and in 2005, we got pregnant with our little girl to be. And she was 00:01:15.189 --> 00:01:23.189 due January 18, 2006. 00:01:23.269 --> 00:01:26.977 Do you remember anything specifically about that time? Was it, you know, 00:01:27.010 --> 00:01:30.376 crucially a little hot, or was there an event or something that could kind 00:01:30.409 --> 00:01:38.257 of like situate us? Mm, it was April 2005 that I was pregnant. Um, Jim was 00:01:38.290 --> 00:01:41.736 turning 50. I was planning a 50th birthday party for him is what I 00:01:41.769 --> 00:01:45.456 remember and then finding out that I was pregnant, washed the 50th 00:01:45.489 --> 00:01:50.977 birthday party down the drain because Eventually, after I had Georgia, we 00:01:51.010 --> 00:01:56.495 , I spent 3 days in the hospital and we came home on his 50th birthday. So 00:01:56.528 --> 00:02:03.326 he's just, uh, 3 days behind her, his birthday. Yeah. 00:02:03.359 --> 00:02:07.566 So can you um tell us a little bit about your pregnancy? Uh, it was 00:02:07.599 --> 00:02:12.487 enjoyable. I was forced to be healthier. I was forced to not um drink wine 00:02:12.520 --> 00:02:18.646 every day of my life. Yes, you say my pregnancy was? Oh yes, sorry about 00:02:18.679 --> 00:02:24.297 that. OK, no, no, OK. Sorry, I'm just a little. OK. 00:02:24.330 --> 00:02:32.330 Uh, my pregnancy was fabulous. Um, I was healthy. I, um. 00:02:32.909 --> 00:02:36.995 I was happy as I could possibly be. Jim was living in Coronado at the time 00:02:37.028 --> 00:02:41.436 , so we only spent weekends together. So not only did I live alone, but. 00:02:41.469 --> 00:02:46.446 Um, I still worked. I worked to the last minute, like days before I had 00:02:46.479 --> 00:02:51.096 her. Um, I constantly got the comment which I loved, and I don't know why 00:02:51.129 --> 00:02:56.856 women are so offended by you're all baby, you know how women say that and 00:02:56.889 --> 00:02:59.995 Um, to other women who are pregnant, and I thought it was fabulous cuz I 00:03:00.028 --> 00:03:06.327 was all baby, she was big and. And uh yeah, it was lovely. It was great. 00:03:06.360 --> 00:03:12.376 It was the best. So did you carry high or low or, 00:03:12.409 --> 00:03:15.725 I don't know. I think I was right in the middle because I remember January 00:03:15.758 --> 00:03:22.775 1st, my sister-in-law saying, um, you don't look like you're ready to, to 00:03:22.808 --> 00:03:27.717 , um, deliver, and she was due on the, on the, I don't know, 16th or 18th 00:03:27.750 --> 00:03:32.725 or something, but I had gone to the doctor. Um, a few weeks before she was 00:03:32.758 --> 00:03:37.646 due and saw the nurse practitioner. And the nurse practitioner felt the 00:03:37.679 --> 00:03:41.196 head and said she's great, everything's great. Well, I went back a couple 00:03:41.229 --> 00:03:45.286 of weeks later to see the doctor just a week before I was due, and she 00:03:45.319 --> 00:03:52.677 felt her butt, not her head. So Georgia was breech. So her um. Toes were 00:03:52.710 --> 00:03:57.036 on her face basically and her butt was ready to deliver, so that's when I 00:03:57.069 --> 00:04:01.275 was told that C-section and no other way to do it unless we try to turn 00:04:01.308 --> 00:04:05.475 the baby, but she was 9 pounds. I mean she came out at 9 pounds 5 ounces, 00:04:05.508 --> 00:04:11.166 so there was not really, not a lot of space in there to move her around. 00:04:11.199 --> 00:04:14.725 So, um. 00:04:14.758 --> 00:04:20.336 I got to pause. OK. Did you take any prenatal classes or have a plan or 00:04:20.369 --> 00:04:25.286 any of that? No. Prenatal classes, no birth plan, uh, a little bit of 00:04:25.319 --> 00:04:29.245 reading. I just felt really comfortable with it for whatever reason, and I 00:04:29.278 --> 00:04:32.726 knew that when delivery time came, it was going to be whatever it was. It 00:04:32.759 --> 00:04:37.406 was either going to be, you know, extremely crazy or painful or whatever. 00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:42.846 So I just sort of blocked that out of my head that day to come and just 00:04:42.879 --> 00:04:49.265 enjoyed it as I went and Everything went along pretty swimmingly. Except 00:04:49.298 --> 00:04:53.455 for the C-section, because I was a little disappointed. That I wasn't 00:04:53.488 --> 00:04:58.555 gonna experience. Whatever, which is kind of ridiculous cause once it was 00:04:58.588 --> 00:05:04.717 all said and done, I was sort of glad that it went that way. Um, but, so 00:05:04.750 --> 00:05:11.877 just keep going. I'm sorry. So she, um, she, I was scheduled for a 00:05:11.910 --> 00:05:18.856 C-section. Uh, on the 18th at 10:30 in the morning, but on the 18th at 00:05:18.889 --> 00:05:22.336 about 1 o'clock in the morning, my water broke after a lovely lobster 00:05:22.369 --> 00:05:27.416 dinner and a little wine and a little bit of champagne calming me, uh, my 00:05:27.449 --> 00:05:33.276 water broke, so we were off to the hospital about 1 o'clock, 1:30. And I 00:05:33.309 --> 00:05:39.197 had her about 3:15. Well, I had, uh, the day before I had my hair done and 00:05:39.230 --> 00:05:45.825 the women at the salon started to tell me their experiences with C-section 00:05:45.858 --> 00:05:50.575 and that one of them told me that she had her arms tied down, you know, 00:05:50.608 --> 00:05:53.596 they lay you out, your arms are out to your sides, and they tie your arms 00:05:53.629 --> 00:05:57.356 down so you don't do anything you shouldn't be doing. So I was a little 00:05:57.389 --> 00:06:04.197 worried about that and I did ask the guy who was starting to strap me down 00:06:04.230 --> 00:06:09.575 if I could just have my arms free, and he said, yeah. So 00:06:09.608 --> 00:06:15.757 I'll just keep going about the delivery, is that OK? So, um. Let's say 00:06:15.790 --> 00:06:21.455 Anesthesia and first and foremost, the epidural, which I was a little bit 00:06:21.488 --> 00:06:24.296 afraid of. I knew I was gonna have one, but I was a little concerned 00:06:24.329 --> 00:06:28.096 because just the whole part that half of your body is numb is a little bit 00:06:28.129 --> 00:06:36.046 odd for me. So, uh, I had that done and then had an anesthesiologist 00:06:36.079 --> 00:06:39.887 practically put me out. I mean, I was, I don't know why I was given so 00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:44.406 much, but I was so um out of it that I don't remember a whole bunch of it 00:06:44.439 --> 00:06:48.447 , but I do remember her being so large that the doctor, well Jim told me 00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:52.406 this later. Jim, my significant other told me later that the doctor was 00:06:52.439 --> 00:06:56.486 actually yanking her and I could feel like my whole body moving because 00:06:56.519 --> 00:07:00.926 she was so big, just trying to yank her out. Plus she was. Um, she was 00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:05.637 breeched, so, uh, that made it a little harder for her to get her out. 00:07:05.670 --> 00:07:13.236 Anyway, um, after she was born, it was lovely and wonderful, and um, she. 00:07:13.269 --> 00:07:20.736 Uh, was perfect. And I was exhausted and I slept. For probably 10 hours. 00:07:20.769 --> 00:07:24.455 It was impossible for me to stay awake, impossible for me to hold her. 00:07:24.488 --> 00:07:29.726 Friends came in to see her and um I, I couldn't even hold her. I was so 00:07:29.759 --> 00:07:33.586 out of it. They gave me so much, so much medicine. Can we take a break? 00:07:33.619 --> 00:07:36.955 Yeah, I'm sweat. 00:07:36.988 --> 00:07:42.955 So, uh, going back, um, I was at this hair salon, as I told you the day 00:07:42.988 --> 00:07:47.447 before, and the girls had told me a few horror stories and about having my 00:07:47.480 --> 00:07:50.395 arms strapped down and that they're gonna do that when I go there. I knew 00:07:50.428 --> 00:07:56.395 not at all what to expect. Uh, and it was a long time getting me from 00:07:56.428 --> 00:07:59.995 getting into the hospital and then getting me into the operation room or 00:08:00.028 --> 00:08:06.796 delivery room. And um laid down, got the epidural, which I thought was 00:08:06.829 --> 00:08:10.717 very unusual and I was very uncomfortable with simply because the my lower 00:08:10.750 --> 00:08:15.317 half was numb and I just remember laying there thinking this is gonna be 00:08:15.350 --> 00:08:20.856 over soon. I didn't enjoy that part at all. Um, and asked whoever was 00:08:20.889 --> 00:08:23.606 strapping my arms down if they didn't have to strap them down, and he said 00:08:23.639 --> 00:08:26.765 , no, we don't have to, just don't, you know, touch anything or put your 00:08:26.798 --> 00:08:34.798 hands anywhere. And then received a good dose of um anesthesia. And in 00:08:36.320 --> 00:08:41.047 fact, I do remember this was quite funny, the anesthesiologist, his crotch 00:08:41.080 --> 00:08:46.875 was like kind of against my head, and he was reading a book while I was 00:08:46.908 --> 00:08:51.686 having a baby, so he didn't seem to care so much about about me having a 00:08:51.719 --> 00:08:56.907 baby, but Uh, so, as, um, they do, they did whatever they did, but they 00:08:56.940 --> 00:08:59.986 were ready to yank her out and they started to pull and they couldn't get 00:09:00.019 --> 00:09:04.616 her out and Jim tells me later that the doctor actually had to put his leg 00:09:04.649 --> 00:09:09.586 up on the table and yank at her because again she was butt first, so she 00:09:09.619 --> 00:09:14.866 kind of got stuck. And um I could feel my body moving and then the 00:09:14.899 --> 00:09:18.275 anesthesiologist was quite interested in what was going on because then 00:09:18.308 --> 00:09:21.917 there he was again like he didn't even realize that I was there basically 00:09:21.950 --> 00:09:27.505 , you know. So, um, that was quite interesting and then she was born and I 00:09:27.538 --> 00:09:31.907 don't really remember hearing her cry. I remember being concerned about 00:09:31.940 --> 00:09:34.625 things like what were they gonna do to what the things that they put in 00:09:34.658 --> 00:09:40.106 her eyes, um, uh, make them, I'm not even sure what it does, but they had 00:09:40.139 --> 00:09:44.086 convinced me that it was the thing to do. And just remember laying there 00:09:44.119 --> 00:09:48.645 with the sheet in front of me, not being able to see anything except up 00:09:48.678 --> 00:09:52.047 over my head and just looking at the ceiling and looking at the lights, 00:09:52.080 --> 00:10:00.080 being tired, being exhausted and ready for it to be done. 00:10:02.859 --> 00:10:09.525 What afterward? Oh, after, well, after, um, well, so Jim and Georgia, um, 00:10:09.558 --> 00:10:13.826 spent a lot of time together because I was out. I mean, apparently they 00:10:13.859 --> 00:10:18.106 had given me too much and plus it was 3:15 in the morning, so I was tired 00:10:18.139 --> 00:10:24.505 . I got up at 1 and here it was 3:15 and I was, I was a bit tired. Um, so 00:10:24.538 --> 00:10:28.946 I slept through a lot of it but just periodically woke up and later saw 00:10:28.979 --> 00:10:32.265 images that Jim had took all morning while I slept of he and Georgia in 00:10:32.298 --> 00:10:35.186 the mirror and you know, so and they're very, very close now. I think it's 00:10:35.219 --> 00:10:38.275 so wonderful and I think a lot of it is that time they spent together as 00:10:38.308 --> 00:10:41.586 soon as I came out, I didn't hold her, you know, she didn't come to me 00:10:41.619 --> 00:10:45.866 like you see on TV. Here's your baby, you know, um, he just kind of took 00:10:45.899 --> 00:10:49.467 her and brought her to me and showed me and then, you know, I just could 00:10:49.500 --> 00:10:56.427 not keep my eyes up to save my life, so. Um, anyway, next day, people are 00:10:56.460 --> 00:11:00.736 kind of slowly coming in and still can't keep my eyes open. Some good 00:11:00.769 --> 00:11:07.015 friends came in, Cindy and Jeremy. And she was pregnant as well and um 00:11:07.048 --> 00:11:10.596 came in and was holding Georgia and I was trying desperately to stay awake 00:11:10.629 --> 00:11:17.586 so I'm like laying there probably. With my mouth open or something. And um 00:11:17.619 --> 00:11:24.186 Yeah, eventually, I eventually got a good bit of sleep. Um, and woke up in 00:11:24.219 --> 00:11:29.866 the afternoon and uh Jim had, had to go home because he had been at the 00:11:29.899 --> 00:11:34.385 hospital and awake for, you know, however many hours, 24 hours or whatever. 00:11:34.418 --> 00:11:39.145 And um spent a little time with Georgia by myself and then the nurses 00:11:39.178 --> 00:11:44.005 came and got her and said, you know, you need to go to sleep, so why don't 00:11:44.038 --> 00:11:50.015 we take her and they took her down to the um nursery. And kept her 00:11:50.048 --> 00:11:55.895 overnight, which was nice, and I got some sleep. 00:11:55.928 --> 00:11:59.807 Um, but ended up staying in the hospital for 3 days. So I had her 00:11:59.840 --> 00:12:02.125 Wednesday. It was Wednesday night, Thursday night, Friday night in the 00:12:02.158 --> 00:12:08.307 hospital, um. And uh nice room, nice view, you know, I could see outside. 00:12:08.340 --> 00:12:14.106 It looked like a beautiful day. I couldn't really go out. In fact, I asked 00:12:14.139 --> 00:12:18.625 the doctor maybe about Thursday or Friday if I could go outside, and she 00:12:18.658 --> 00:12:22.066 said, Oh, it's windy, you know, you don't really want to go outside and to 00:12:22.099 --> 00:12:29.177 me I was just dying in there in that room by myself, you know. Um, so when 00:12:29.210 --> 00:12:34.736 it came time to leave, I was, uh, I walked out the door and just started 00:12:34.769 --> 00:12:38.106 bawling and bawled the whole way home, and I don't think Jim gets it still 00:12:38.139 --> 00:12:42.856 , you know, it was just overwhelming, overwhelming to me. Just walked out 00:12:42.889 --> 00:12:46.746 and went, and it was the most fabulous day, Scottsdale, Arizona. You know 00:12:46.779 --> 00:12:51.755 , probably 75 degrees in January, and I just walked out and cried and I 00:12:51.788 --> 00:12:57.316 got home and poured myself a big glass of wine. And you know, family came 00:12:57.349 --> 00:13:04.356 to visit and Um, as far as breastfeeding, yeah, I, I did breastfeed for 00:13:04.389 --> 00:13:09.395 about 3 months, um, and the woman, 00:13:09.428 --> 00:13:12.186 I don't know what she's called, the woman that teaches the women how to 00:13:12.219 --> 00:13:16.596 breastfeed was quite helpful and said it was OK to have a glass of wine. 00:13:16.629 --> 00:13:22.346 And so I thought, OK, well that's great, thanks. So, um. She, uh, she was 00:13:22.379 --> 00:13:27.125 quite helpful and I did breastfeed, um, recovery was a little bit. 00:13:27.158 --> 00:13:30.797 Difficult cause I'm not very good at staying home. When I got home, you 00:13:30.830 --> 00:13:33.246 know, the first thing I did was get on the phone, call my mom, call my 00:13:33.279 --> 00:13:40.547 sister. They were coming to visit. Um, but I remember that evening just 00:13:40.580 --> 00:13:42.986 everything was different. It's like when you go away on a vacation, you 00:13:43.019 --> 00:13:46.866 come home and it's, you kind of have to get back in the swing of things, 00:13:46.899 --> 00:13:50.667 but everything was just different when I got home. Nothing was the same. 00:13:50.700 --> 00:13:56.907 My biggest concern about having a baby was um the loss of time to myself, 00:13:56.940 --> 00:14:00.427 biggest, biggest concern. It wasn't anything else. It wasn't giving up 00:14:00.460 --> 00:14:04.946 this or giving up that. It was the loss of privacy even though you would 00:14:04.979 --> 00:14:10.226 have time to yourself. You know that you know that little child is always 00:14:10.259 --> 00:14:12.986 gonna come back. You have 15 minutes, they're at school. You're always 00:14:13.019 --> 00:14:16.307 gonna pick them up. You're always gonna have this responsibility for the 00:14:16.340 --> 00:14:20.427 rest of my, of your life, and that was my, that was why I waited so long. 00:14:20.460 --> 00:14:26.885 I mean, I was never ready until I, I finally was ready, I guess so. Um 00:14:26.918 --> 00:14:31.375 Let's see what else. 00:14:31.408 --> 00:14:35.135 Help me out. What else? 00:14:35.168 --> 00:14:37.875 I mean, there's so much. 00:14:37.908 --> 00:14:41.667 Was there anything that surprised you about the experience? About the 00:14:41.700 --> 00:14:48.206 birth experience. 00:14:48.239 --> 00:14:51.407 Well, no, because I didn't know what to expect and I didn't have any 00:14:51.440 --> 00:14:54.206 expectations whatsoever. 00:14:54.239 --> 00:14:58.645 So no, and I, you know, I healed pretty quickly. I'm not, um, you know, I 00:14:58.678 --> 00:15:05.456 guess the healing time wasn't, wasn't that big of a deal. Um, but no, no 00:15:05.489 --> 00:15:12.297 surprises about, about the birth at all. 00:15:12.330 --> 00:15:14.375 Boring. 00:15:14.408 --> 00:15:18.265 Do I ruin it when I say things later? No, because you just cut that out. 00:15:18.298 --> 00:15:22.135 Um, 00:15:22.168 --> 00:15:25.726 I think you're good. Um, how is it living with the scar though? Does it 00:15:25.759 --> 00:15:29.525 remind you of it or is it just completely gone now? Well, it's nothing. I 00:15:29.558 --> 00:15:36.366 mean, it's very small. The scar is very small from the C-section. And no, 00:15:36.399 --> 00:15:43.407 never bothered me. But I remember um the nurse that took the stitches out 00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:47.967 asked me, do you ever grow your hair up here? Cause then you won't even 00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:54.196 see this scar. I'm like, no, I don't, uh uh, I never. I never grow my hair 00:15:54.229 --> 00:16:00.066 up there, but. I thought that was hilarious. I like, no, the scars, but 00:16:00.099 --> 00:16:06.145 the bathing suit covers it up nicely, so yeah. We're pretty good, yeah, I 00:16:06.178 --> 00:16:09.116 think we're actually good. 00:16:09.149 --> 00:16:17.149 No. Um, so after having Georgia and um being around Jim, especially when 00:16:17.538 --> 00:16:21.667 we got home, I had never felt closer to anybody in my life than I did to 00:16:21.700 --> 00:16:26.657 him, and I was madly in love with him. And that didn't change. And the the 00:16:26.690 --> 00:16:31.885 father that he is to her, they are the best of friends. He can do no wrong 00:16:31.918 --> 00:16:38.167 in her eyes, none. And they do everything together and they are just two 00:16:38.200 --> 00:16:41.719 pieces. I love them madly.