I think I'm more nervous than you, OK.
So
This is Forra Solis interviewing Stacy Barr for the Creative Push project.
Stacey, have you been given the um consent agreement form? Yes, I have,
and you agree to the terms? Yes, I do. All right, we'll get through. OK.
So could you start by telling us a little bit about yourself? Um, I am now
52 years old. Uh, I've been in Scottsdale for about 25 years. And I sell
art for Giert contemporary on Main Street. Yeah, and I've been there for
quite some time, 14 years now. Yeah, love selling arts. Could you tell us
a little bit about your family? Um, I met my significant other, Jim Ebert.
In 2003.
Um, and in 2005, we got pregnant with our little girl to be. And she was
due January 18, 2006.
Do you remember anything specifically about that time? Was it, you know,
crucially a little hot, or was there an event or something that could kind
of like situate us? Mm, it was April 2005 that I was pregnant. Um, Jim was
turning 50. I was planning a 50th birthday party for him is what I
remember and then finding out that I was pregnant, washed the 50th
birthday party down the drain because Eventually, after I had Georgia, we
, I spent 3 days in the hospital and we came home on his 50th birthday. So
he's just, uh, 3 days behind her, his birthday. Yeah.
So can you um tell us a little bit about your pregnancy? Uh, it was
enjoyable. I was forced to be healthier. I was forced to not um drink wine
every day of my life. Yes, you say my pregnancy was? Oh yes, sorry about
that. OK, no, no, OK. Sorry, I'm just a little. OK.
Uh, my pregnancy was fabulous. Um, I was healthy. I, um.
I was happy as I could possibly be. Jim was living in Coronado at the time
, so we only spent weekends together. So not only did I live alone, but.
Um, I still worked. I worked to the last minute, like days before I had
her. Um, I constantly got the comment which I loved, and I don't know why
women are so offended by you're all baby, you know how women say that and
Um, to other women who are pregnant, and I thought it was fabulous cuz I
was all baby, she was big and. And uh yeah, it was lovely. It was great.
It was the best. So did you carry high or low or,
I don't know. I think I was right in the middle because I remember January
1st, my sister-in-law saying, um, you don't look like you're ready to, to
, um, deliver, and she was due on the, on the, I don't know, 16th or 18th
or something, but I had gone to the doctor. Um, a few weeks before she was
due and saw the nurse practitioner. And the nurse practitioner felt the
head and said she's great, everything's great. Well, I went back a couple
of weeks later to see the doctor just a week before I was due, and she
felt her butt, not her head. So Georgia was breech. So her um. Toes were
on her face basically and her butt was ready to deliver, so that's when I
was told that C-section and no other way to do it unless we try to turn
the baby, but she was 9 pounds. I mean she came out at 9 pounds 5 ounces,
so there was not really, not a lot of space in there to move her around.
So, um.
I got to pause. OK. Did you take any prenatal classes or have a plan or
any of that? No. Prenatal classes, no birth plan, uh, a little bit of
reading. I just felt really comfortable with it for whatever reason, and I
knew that when delivery time came, it was going to be whatever it was. It
was either going to be, you know, extremely crazy or painful or whatever.
So I just sort of blocked that out of my head that day to come and just
enjoyed it as I went and Everything went along pretty swimmingly. Except
for the C-section, because I was a little disappointed. That I wasn't
gonna experience. Whatever, which is kind of ridiculous cause once it was
all said and done, I was sort of glad that it went that way. Um, but, so
just keep going. I'm sorry. So she, um, she, I was scheduled for a
C-section. Uh, on the 18th at 10:30 in the morning, but on the 18th at
about 1 o'clock in the morning, my water broke after a lovely lobster
dinner and a little wine and a little bit of champagne calming me, uh, my
water broke, so we were off to the hospital about 1 o'clock, 1:30. And I
had her about 3:15. Well, I had, uh, the day before I had my hair done and
the women at the salon started to tell me their experiences with C-section
and that one of them told me that she had her arms tied down, you know,
they lay you out, your arms are out to your sides, and they tie your arms
down so you don't do anything you shouldn't be doing. So I was a little
worried about that and I did ask the guy who was starting to strap me down
if I could just have my arms free, and he said, yeah. So
I'll just keep going about the delivery, is that OK? So, um. Let's say
Anesthesia and first and foremost, the epidural, which I was a little bit
afraid of. I knew I was gonna have one, but I was a little concerned
because just the whole part that half of your body is numb is a little bit
odd for me. So, uh, I had that done and then had an anesthesiologist
practically put me out. I mean, I was, I don't know why I was given so
much, but I was so um out of it that I don't remember a whole bunch of it
, but I do remember her being so large that the doctor, well Jim told me
this later. Jim, my significant other told me later that the doctor was
actually yanking her and I could feel like my whole body moving because
she was so big, just trying to yank her out. Plus she was. Um, she was
breeched, so, uh, that made it a little harder for her to get her out.
Anyway, um, after she was born, it was lovely and wonderful, and um, she.
Uh, was perfect. And I was exhausted and I slept. For probably 10 hours.
It was impossible for me to stay awake, impossible for me to hold her.
Friends came in to see her and um I, I couldn't even hold her. I was so
out of it. They gave me so much, so much medicine. Can we take a break?
Yeah, I'm sweat.
So, uh, going back, um, I was at this hair salon, as I told you the day
before, and the girls had told me a few horror stories and about having my
arms strapped down and that they're gonna do that when I go there. I knew
not at all what to expect. Uh, and it was a long time getting me from
getting into the hospital and then getting me into the operation room or
delivery room. And um laid down, got the epidural, which I thought was
very unusual and I was very uncomfortable with simply because the my lower
half was numb and I just remember laying there thinking this is gonna be
over soon. I didn't enjoy that part at all. Um, and asked whoever was
strapping my arms down if they didn't have to strap them down, and he said
, no, we don't have to, just don't, you know, touch anything or put your
hands anywhere. And then received a good dose of um anesthesia. And in
fact, I do remember this was quite funny, the anesthesiologist, his crotch
was like kind of against my head, and he was reading a book while I was
having a baby, so he didn't seem to care so much about about me having a
baby, but Uh, so, as, um, they do, they did whatever they did, but they
were ready to yank her out and they started to pull and they couldn't get
her out and Jim tells me later that the doctor actually had to put his leg
up on the table and yank at her because again she was butt first, so she
kind of got stuck. And um I could feel my body moving and then the
anesthesiologist was quite interested in what was going on because then
there he was again like he didn't even realize that I was there basically
, you know. So, um, that was quite interesting and then she was born and I
don't really remember hearing her cry. I remember being concerned about
things like what were they gonna do to what the things that they put in
her eyes, um, uh, make them, I'm not even sure what it does, but they had
convinced me that it was the thing to do. And just remember laying there
with the sheet in front of me, not being able to see anything except up
over my head and just looking at the ceiling and looking at the lights,
being tired, being exhausted and ready for it to be done.
What afterward? Oh, after, well, after, um, well, so Jim and Georgia, um,
spent a lot of time together because I was out. I mean, apparently they
had given me too much and plus it was 3:15 in the morning, so I was tired
. I got up at 1 and here it was 3:15 and I was, I was a bit tired. Um, so
I slept through a lot of it but just periodically woke up and later saw
images that Jim had took all morning while I slept of he and Georgia in
the mirror and you know, so and they're very, very close now. I think it's
so wonderful and I think a lot of it is that time they spent together as
soon as I came out, I didn't hold her, you know, she didn't come to me
like you see on TV. Here's your baby, you know, um, he just kind of took
her and brought her to me and showed me and then, you know, I just could
not keep my eyes up to save my life, so. Um, anyway, next day, people are
kind of slowly coming in and still can't keep my eyes open. Some good
friends came in, Cindy and Jeremy. And she was pregnant as well and um
came in and was holding Georgia and I was trying desperately to stay awake
so I'm like laying there probably. With my mouth open or something. And um
Yeah, eventually, I eventually got a good bit of sleep. Um, and woke up in
the afternoon and uh Jim had, had to go home because he had been at the
hospital and awake for, you know, however many hours, 24 hours or whatever.
And um spent a little time with Georgia by myself and then the nurses
came and got her and said, you know, you need to go to sleep, so why don't
we take her and they took her down to the um nursery. And kept her
overnight, which was nice, and I got some sleep.
Um, but ended up staying in the hospital for 3 days. So I had her
Wednesday. It was Wednesday night, Thursday night, Friday night in the
hospital, um. And uh nice room, nice view, you know, I could see outside.
It looked like a beautiful day. I couldn't really go out. In fact, I asked
the doctor maybe about Thursday or Friday if I could go outside, and she
said, Oh, it's windy, you know, you don't really want to go outside and to
me I was just dying in there in that room by myself, you know. Um, so when
it came time to leave, I was, uh, I walked out the door and just started
bawling and bawled the whole way home, and I don't think Jim gets it still
, you know, it was just overwhelming, overwhelming to me. Just walked out
and went, and it was the most fabulous day, Scottsdale, Arizona. You know
, probably 75 degrees in January, and I just walked out and cried and I
got home and poured myself a big glass of wine. And you know, family came
to visit and Um, as far as breastfeeding, yeah, I, I did breastfeed for
about 3 months, um, and the woman,
I don't know what she's called, the woman that teaches the women how to
breastfeed was quite helpful and said it was OK to have a glass of wine.
And so I thought, OK, well that's great, thanks. So, um. She, uh, she was
quite helpful and I did breastfeed, um, recovery was a little bit.
Difficult cause I'm not very good at staying home. When I got home, you
know, the first thing I did was get on the phone, call my mom, call my
sister. They were coming to visit. Um, but I remember that evening just
everything was different. It's like when you go away on a vacation, you
come home and it's, you kind of have to get back in the swing of things,
but everything was just different when I got home. Nothing was the same.
My biggest concern about having a baby was um the loss of time to myself,
biggest, biggest concern. It wasn't anything else. It wasn't giving up
this or giving up that. It was the loss of privacy even though you would
have time to yourself. You know that you know that little child is always
gonna come back. You have 15 minutes, they're at school. You're always
gonna pick them up. You're always gonna have this responsibility for the
rest of my, of your life, and that was my, that was why I waited so long.
I mean, I was never ready until I, I finally was ready, I guess so. Um
Let's see what else.
Help me out. What else?
I mean, there's so much.
Was there anything that surprised you about the experience? About the
birth experience.
Well, no, because I didn't know what to expect and I didn't have any
expectations whatsoever.
So no, and I, you know, I healed pretty quickly. I'm not, um, you know, I
guess the healing time wasn't, wasn't that big of a deal. Um, but no, no
surprises about, about the birth at all.
Boring.
Do I ruin it when I say things later? No, because you just cut that out.
Um,
I think you're good. Um, how is it living with the scar though? Does it
remind you of it or is it just completely gone now? Well, it's nothing. I
mean, it's very small. The scar is very small from the C-section. And no,
never bothered me. But I remember um the nurse that took the stitches out
asked me, do you ever grow your hair up here? Cause then you won't even
see this scar. I'm like, no, I don't, uh uh, I never. I never grow my hair
up there, but. I thought that was hilarious. I like, no, the scars, but
the bathing suit covers it up nicely, so yeah. We're pretty good, yeah, I
think we're actually good.
No. Um, so after having Georgia and um being around Jim, especially when
we got home, I had never felt closer to anybody in my life than I did to
him, and I was madly in love with him. And that didn't change. And the the
father that he is to her, they are the best of friends. He can do no wrong
in her eyes, none. And they do everything together and they are just two
pieces. I love them madly.