This is Boris Solis interviewing Jan Presser on June 22, 2015 at 119 for
the Creative Push project. OK, so we can get started. So, um, can you
maybe take us back to the time when you were pregnant or at labor delivery
just to situate us in time, you know, what was the season? Was there any
memorable event happening, anything like that? Uh, yes, one thing, um.
That I will always remember is that um I was probably about 4 to 5 weeks
pregnant um when 9/11 happened. And so, uh, I remember sitting and
watching that on TV and thinking. I, I'm so sick. I feel so sick right now.
I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant or if it's because I'm just
sick about this whole thing and um.
Aside from that experience, I also remember through my pregnancy, having
people make comments to me. In relation to that event. Um, And just You
know, kind of sadness about, you know. The child coming into the world at
this time. So, Yeah, that was uh
That is um something that That I will always remember as part of my
Pregnancy experience. Yeah. Um, can you talk about the, like actualities
of being pregnant? Did you enjoy the experience and, you know, how did it
impact you physically? I did my initial um
The
When I initially uh became pregnant, I I I was My body was very negatively
um affected and, and that I, I had all of all of what you experienced
negatively. I broke out. I lost weight. I lost about 12 pounds, um. Of
course I threw up all the time. I couldn't drink enough water. I couldn't
, I couldn't keep anything down. Um, it was the 1st 3 months were not fun
, um, but after that when I, the, the, the illness went away, um. It was
really one of the best times of my life, I think, because um
It seems so selfish, but you, you get a lot of attention, you know, you
get, you, it's just there's, it's just such a fun and exciting time. And
not, um, I, I didn't uh.
I didn't really plan the pregnancy. It was um It we were married, but we
had decided to go ahead and um wait. Um, I, I actually had been off of the
pill for a little bit thinking maybe we want to do it and then decided
this is it would be smarter for us to just hold off for a little bit and
so um when it happened it I can't say it was a surprise because I wasn't
protecting myself, but um.
Uh, it was not really planned. So, um, however, I believe if I had, if it
hadn't happened, I might never have had a child. I think at that point in
time in my life I was, I was, I was old enough to not be pushing it off
anymore, so. Um, I think it was, it was, it really was a precious time in
my life.
Um
So, can you tell us about like what led up to the delivery, you know, no
detail is insignificant, like that. Do you remember from the day or the
day before or were there any? Um, I chose to, uh, work up until I went
into labor. Um, I, fortunately, I wasn't at work during the time that I
went into labor. Although it started off so mildly that it wasn't,
wouldn't have been a problem anyway, um, but I, um, I worked a 3rd shift
at the time, um, in a laboratory and um I started. Um, my contractions, um.
At home that evening that I was to go to work. And I think I wasn't
certain about whether I should go or not and decided to go ahead and Call
and say, I think it might be happening, um, which, which I did and um Uh,
it was a long labor. I, I was, um, I stayed home all night. That night, um
, and just kind of slept between my contractions. And of course, had my
laid on the um lazy boy with my little notepad and my pen marking down
each time that I had my contractions so I could keep track of, of the
times and um. I, um, I believe it was the next morning, probably around 9
or so, went. Um, Went ahead into the hospital, um, With the advice of of
my midwife and um It was still Really long waiting game in the hospital as
well, so we didn't Uh, we didn't have a room for a while and we finally
got a room. It was just walking around the hospital. It was all day at the
hospital, so it wasn't, um, Until uh one. 17 that next morning that I
delivered her so um it was a long, it was a long labor
so you had a midwife so I did have a mid. Um,
Meaning I would have the, the, I would have a birth plan to like where how
we would do it um. The plan was not to have a plan. Um, so, um, My, my
midwife um was. She was very open. I was, I, I, I knew I wanted to, to
have her in the hospital, um, so the plan was to be in the hospital, um,
and, uh, for. My midwife to do everything that she could, and she
apparently had a very great rate for um no episiotomy.
Um, and she, uh, talked a lot about the oils that she used and, um, just
her techniques, whatever techniques those are to help, um, eliminate the
the need for nepeziotomy. Um, and then as far as pain control goes, the
idea was to see how it goes. So, um, I knew that I would. I like to have a
natural birth if If it seemed right, but I knew that I'd like to have the
option to change my mind. So Um, that's what I did. And I, I went for a
good length of time. Um, Without Doing the epidural, but ultimately, um,
I had gotten to a certain point where I'd endured pain, which was uh maybe
, I don't know, who knows, 1 hour, 2 hours' worth of severe pain. And
thinking that the next time they check me, if I know there's progress, OK
, I can keep doing this, right? But they checked me and it was the same.
That was the breaking point. That was the time to say, OK. Who knows how
much longer this is already gone, 30 hours. Who knows how much longer this
is gonna go. And I, I had gotten to the point where I'd almost, I, I had
been in the shower and almost passed out and, and so I was ready. So I did
, I did do the epidural. Did you have family there with you? Um, Grace's
dad was there, and my mother was there. And um The uh the older generation
of men were in the waiting room. That's normal. Or as typical for their
generation.
Um, So yeah, when I had the um When I was uh going through starting to
experience the severe pain, Because that to me the whole 30 whatever hours
, so it's 36 hours of labor, but 30. You know, 2 hours of that labor was
just, uh, you know, some pressure, a little bit of pain and some pressure.
Um, but when I hit that severe pain, um, One of the suggestions made by
one of the nurses was to Take a shower. Would you like to get in the
shower and The warm water might help you relax. So, OK, you know. Let's do
that. I'll get in the shower and You know, get my clothes off and get in
the shower, and I did. And I, um,
Really, really, and I don't, maybe because I was standing now instead of
laying down, it was, it, it got really bad to the point where I thought I
was, I would pass out and so I told the nurse I needed to sit down, which
I did sit down and I know from experience, if I'm going to pass out, I
need to put my head down between my legs. That's all I need to do, and
then I'm fine. Well, the nurse didn't want me to do that. She kept pushing
my head up as I was trying to push my head down and We had some words and
she let me recoup. Which was what she needed to do and. Then I got out of
the shower and and that was shortly after that is when I had the epidural.
So, and then I went to sleep. Which I don't know how normal that is, but
it was it it was really nice. It was like, wow, this is, that's a good
thing.
It's a good thing. I took, I, I think it was probably.
Um, I think I probably slept a good 3. 2 or 3 hours before it was time. To
deliver.
So
That seems ideal.
It was, it was because, you know, you're awake for 36 hours and or 30
hours. Whatever it may be, you're exhausted, get a little sleep before
it's time to do the real work. So it was it was really a great thing. And
it wasn't that much work. The pushing part, so you can talk us through
that.
There's not much talking through to do on the pushing part, but we um I
woke up and um My midwife had decided to go home for a little while while
I slept, and so she was given orders to call when I was at a certain point
, um. So when I
Do we wanna
So they um called the midwife and in the half hour's time it took her to
come. Uh, she had very little time to be ready. For the baby. Um, because
when it was time, it was just time. Um, so, uh,
I do remember that. Um, The baby's father did not want to be anywhere else
but behind me. Um, and Uh, I do, I remember also them having a mirror
available, which I did not care to have, nor did he, of course, he didn't
want, but he also noticed that the TV was creating a reflection.
Which he asked to have moved as well. So once everything got set up just
right for that, um.
Uh
My mother was brought in, I think she had, well, she was in and out, but
my mother was brought in, um, and, uh. The the midwife finally gave me the
orders to push, which I did for.
I want to say 2 minutes tops. Um, Until she said stop. And Of course, when
you're in the middle of something like that, that's just natural, you
can't, you don't just stop, um. And so, needless to say, because I didn't
stop, she did have to do an episiotomy, but out she came and um. It was uh
It was exciting because um.
I was surprised. There, there's one thing that, that I was surprised about.
I, we chose not to be, to know the sex of the child. So, um.
I didn't know, but I really wanted a girl. Um,
But the thing that I was most surprised about. was that that was the
furthest thing from my mind. So when
She came out, her dad shouted, it's a girl. And that was, I was, of course
, delighted, but that was the most surprising thing to me was I wasn't
even thinking about that. Did not just did not matter at all. So Do you
know what?
Just that it was OK, you know. It's all that really, you know, I think if
maybe. I don't know how much people, you know, I don't know how normal it
is for people to be so curious and be so concerned about the sex because I
thought I was, but you know at that moment in time it just. It's so it
doesn't matter. It just You know, really, really didn't matter at all. So
it was just, yeah, it was just the the the the concern that um This little
person was just gonna be healthy and OK. Normal So they say that it's
really common that mothers will pretty much do anything for the health of
their babies. And so, um, That's why it's easy to convince people to have
C-sections and things. That's true. You just do what people tell you, OK,
is the right thing, yeah, um, that's interesting well. So, do you remember
the moment that you saw the baby or they put it on your chest? Uh, what I
remember when, um, they, when I first saw her, um, was that she seemed to
be. Screaming from the top of her lungs, but it was so quiet.
It was, it was, that was something that struck me as I, I just I, I, for
some reason expected this, you know, screech coming from this, you know,
little child who's, you know, He looks like he's ready to pop off because
there's, it's exerting so much energy, yet it's this tiny little cry um
and.
Yes, they put her, they, they put her on me directly, and I held her for a
little while before. They took her away and weighed her and measured her.
And she was She had um black hair, which It was also surprising to me. We
both, her, her father and I both have blonde hair. So I never, another
thing you would never ever expect, you just expect your child will come
out with the color of hair you expect them to have. Um, which the black
hair, of course, all fell out and replaced by blonde eventually.
So So did you stay in the hospital for time after that?
Uh, I stayed in the hospital. For uh that night and came home the
following afternoon.
It was in April and I expected The weather to be nice and I remember it
being the first. Time So far that year that we had to turn the air
conditioning on in the car we were bringing. Our baby home.
It's a hot April. Do you remember getting her home and what it was like in
her home? Did you nurse or? My nursed, yes, I, um, when we brought her
home, uh. She had one of those little um pink caps that they put on their
heads still still on her head, um when we got to the house and we had uh a
dog. Um, who was, of course, like our baby until we had a baby. Um,
Who, as soon as we walked in, I walked in carrying the baby and went to,
she was the dog was very curious and um
She Jumped up and grabbed the little hat in her mouth and pulled it off
the baby's head.
And uh. Scared me.
I realized at that point, OK, we need to, we need to set some rules here
really fast. But they eventually they. hung out on the floor together all
the time, so. It was just a very curious and excited dog.
Was she a mellow baby? She was very mellow. She had, she was um It
probably after the first month. Month to a month and a half, she. Um,
began sleeping full nights and We had, I mean, she was a 1212 hour night
sleeper when she got into the. Into the groove. So, um, it did when we
Went through the um initial nursing process to back up a little bit. Um
In the hospital, they had the lactation specialist there to help me. do
whatever I needed to do to make that happen, um, but it was really clear
that It just wasn't time yet. I wasn't, it wasn't letting down, so, um.
They really, really pushed me to keep pushing her to, to work at it. And
she was, she would just get frustrated because there was nothing there. Um.
I went, I believe it was about 3 days. Um, Before I actually let down and.
There was anything there for her to. To actually latch on for. So, um,
and it was with a glass of wine.
I had been given that advice by My husband's ex-wife. He said, you just
need to have a glass of wine, just relax, and it'll happen. So I did, and
it worked and I felt guilty, of course, because I just had some wine and
But Jeanette told me I Guinness. Guinness. That's funny.
That's interesting Let's see.
I think I have much else. Is there anything else that you can think of?
We're kind of asking people to think of a word or a grouping of words that
kind of. Describes their experience, cause we're separating these into
themes, so we're kind of Saying what the common threads are between the
stories besides the baby.
Um,
Can you give me an example? Um, Gosh, so one woman said empowerment, you
know, she, OK, so the experience that experience or it could be, you know
, anything.
Hm.
I mean, it's just a life changing experience, so. That's something that
Um,
You
You're just never, you're never the same after you have a child, so.
I mean, uh, it's, it's more to, to me, yeah, sure, I could use empowerment.
I mean, I could use um You know, Rebirth. I mean, it's, it's a it's a,
it's not only a birth of a child, but it's sort of a, a, a rebirth of a, a
new person, you know, a new. Part of your life that is. Change you in so
many different ways.
That's way too many words. Yeah, that was perfect. That was perfect.
That's great. OK.