WEBVTT 00:00:06.669 --> 00:00:08.669 This is Boris Solis interviewing Jan Presser on June 22, 2015 at 119 for 00:00:14.669 --> 00:00:19.317 the Creative Push project. OK, so we can get started. So, um, can you 00:00:19.350 --> 00:00:23.967 maybe take us back to the time when you were pregnant or at labor delivery 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:27.907 just to situate us in time, you know, what was the season? Was there any 00:00:27.940 --> 00:00:35.940 memorable event happening, anything like that? Uh, yes, one thing, um. 00:00:36.130 --> 00:00:44.130 That I will always remember is that um I was probably about 4 to 5 weeks 00:00:45.289 --> 00:00:53.289 pregnant um when 9/11 happened. And so, uh, I remember sitting and 00:00:54.529 --> 00:01:02.176 watching that on TV and thinking. I, I'm so sick. I feel so sick right now. 00:01:02.209 --> 00:01:04.826 I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant or if it's because I'm just 00:01:04.859 --> 00:01:10.156 sick about this whole thing and um. 00:01:10.189 --> 00:01:17.876 Aside from that experience, I also remember through my pregnancy, having 00:01:17.909 --> 00:01:25.909 people make comments to me. In relation to that event. Um, And just You 00:01:26.769 --> 00:01:32.337 know, kind of sadness about, you know. The child coming into the world at 00:01:32.370 --> 00:01:38.346 this time. So, Yeah, that was uh 00:01:38.379 --> 00:01:45.477 That is um something that That I will always remember as part of my 00:01:45.510 --> 00:01:52.706 Pregnancy experience. Yeah. Um, can you talk about the, like actualities 00:01:52.739 --> 00:01:56.947 of being pregnant? Did you enjoy the experience and, you know, how did it 00:01:56.980 --> 00:02:04.980 impact you physically? I did my initial um 00:02:05.638 --> 00:02:09.816 The 00:02:09.849 --> 00:02:17.849 When I initially uh became pregnant, I I I was My body was very negatively 00:02:18.929 --> 00:02:24.816 um affected and, and that I, I had all of all of what you experienced 00:02:24.849 --> 00:02:32.849 negatively. I broke out. I lost weight. I lost about 12 pounds, um. Of 00:02:34.179 --> 00:02:37.946 course I threw up all the time. I couldn't drink enough water. I couldn't 00:02:37.979 --> 00:02:45.979 , I couldn't keep anything down. Um, it was the 1st 3 months were not fun 00:02:46.778 --> 00:02:54.778 , um, but after that when I, the, the, the illness went away, um. It was 00:02:56.469 --> 00:03:03.797 really one of the best times of my life, I think, because um 00:03:03.830 --> 00:03:09.616 It seems so selfish, but you, you get a lot of attention, you know, you 00:03:09.649 --> 00:03:15.725 get, you, it's just there's, it's just such a fun and exciting time. And 00:03:15.758 --> 00:03:20.327 not, um, I, I didn't uh. 00:03:20.360 --> 00:03:28.360 I didn't really plan the pregnancy. It was um It we were married, but we 00:03:29.219 --> 00:03:35.055 had decided to go ahead and um wait. Um, I, I actually had been off of the 00:03:35.088 --> 00:03:38.585 pill for a little bit thinking maybe we want to do it and then decided 00:03:38.618 --> 00:03:42.626 this is it would be smarter for us to just hold off for a little bit and 00:03:42.659 --> 00:03:49.096 so um when it happened it I can't say it was a surprise because I wasn't 00:03:49.129 --> 00:03:52.436 protecting myself, but um. 00:03:52.469 --> 00:04:00.156 Uh, it was not really planned. So, um, however, I believe if I had, if it 00:04:00.189 --> 00:04:03.876 hadn't happened, I might never have had a child. I think at that point in 00:04:03.909 --> 00:04:09.356 time in my life I was, I was, I was old enough to not be pushing it off 00:04:09.389 --> 00:04:17.389 anymore, so. Um, I think it was, it was, it really was a precious time in 00:04:17.488 --> 00:04:21.697 my life. 00:04:21.730 --> 00:04:23.745 Um 00:04:23.778 --> 00:04:28.986 So, can you tell us about like what led up to the delivery, you know, no 00:04:29.019 --> 00:04:34.265 detail is insignificant, like that. Do you remember from the day or the 00:04:34.298 --> 00:04:42.298 day before or were there any? Um, I chose to, uh, work up until I went 00:04:42.338 --> 00:04:49.226 into labor. Um, I, fortunately, I wasn't at work during the time that I 00:04:49.259 --> 00:04:54.395 went into labor. Although it started off so mildly that it wasn't, 00:04:54.428 --> 00:04:59.947 wouldn't have been a problem anyway, um, but I, um, I worked a 3rd shift 00:04:59.980 --> 00:05:07.980 at the time, um, in a laboratory and um I started. Um, my contractions, um. 00:05:10.439 --> 00:05:12.439 At home that evening that I was to go to work. And I think I wasn't 00:05:16.809 --> 00:05:21.145 certain about whether I should go or not and decided to go ahead and Call 00:05:21.178 --> 00:05:29.075 and say, I think it might be happening, um, which, which I did and um Uh, 00:05:29.108 --> 00:05:37.108 it was a long labor. I, I was, um, I stayed home all night. That night, um 00:05:37.290 --> 00:05:44.387 , and just kind of slept between my contractions. And of course, had my 00:05:44.420 --> 00:05:50.317 laid on the um lazy boy with my little notepad and my pen marking down 00:05:50.350 --> 00:05:54.717 each time that I had my contractions so I could keep track of, of the 00:05:54.750 --> 00:06:02.750 times and um. I, um, I believe it was the next morning, probably around 9 00:06:03.439 --> 00:06:11.439 or so, went. Um, Went ahead into the hospital, um, With the advice of of 00:06:13.009 --> 00:06:21.009 my midwife and um It was still Really long waiting game in the hospital as 00:06:21.949 --> 00:06:27.317 well, so we didn't Uh, we didn't have a room for a while and we finally 00:06:27.350 --> 00:06:31.377 got a room. It was just walking around the hospital. It was all day at the 00:06:31.410 --> 00:06:39.410 hospital, so it wasn't, um, Until uh one. 17 that next morning that I 00:06:42.480 --> 00:06:49.455 delivered her so um it was a long, it was a long labor 00:06:49.488 --> 00:06:55.926 so you had a midwife so I did have a mid. Um, 00:06:55.959 --> 00:07:01.567 Meaning I would have the, the, I would have a birth plan to like where how 00:07:01.600 --> 00:07:09.600 we would do it um. The plan was not to have a plan. Um, so, um, My, my 00:07:13.040 --> 00:07:20.586 midwife um was. She was very open. I was, I, I, I knew I wanted to, to 00:07:20.619 --> 00:07:26.346 have her in the hospital, um, so the plan was to be in the hospital, um, 00:07:26.379 --> 00:07:33.055 and, uh, for. My midwife to do everything that she could, and she 00:07:33.088 --> 00:07:39.796 apparently had a very great rate for um no episiotomy. 00:07:39.829 --> 00:07:47.829 Um, and she, uh, talked a lot about the oils that she used and, um, just 00:07:48.069 --> 00:07:54.286 her techniques, whatever techniques those are to help, um, eliminate the 00:07:54.319 --> 00:08:00.926 the need for nepeziotomy. Um, and then as far as pain control goes, the 00:08:00.959 --> 00:08:08.959 idea was to see how it goes. So, um, I knew that I would. I like to have a 00:08:11.100 --> 00:08:17.687 natural birth if If it seemed right, but I knew that I'd like to have the 00:08:17.720 --> 00:08:25.720 option to change my mind. So Um, that's what I did. And I, I went for a 00:08:26.338 --> 00:08:34.338 good length of time. Um, Without Doing the epidural, but ultimately, um, 00:08:37.599 --> 00:08:44.706 I had gotten to a certain point where I'd endured pain, which was uh maybe 00:08:44.739 --> 00:08:50.047 , I don't know, who knows, 1 hour, 2 hours' worth of severe pain. And 00:08:50.080 --> 00:08:55.537 thinking that the next time they check me, if I know there's progress, OK 00:08:55.570 --> 00:09:03.196 , I can keep doing this, right? But they checked me and it was the same. 00:09:03.229 --> 00:09:08.167 That was the breaking point. That was the time to say, OK. Who knows how 00:09:08.200 --> 00:09:11.846 much longer this is already gone, 30 hours. Who knows how much longer this 00:09:11.879 --> 00:09:17.586 is gonna go. And I, I had gotten to the point where I'd almost, I, I had 00:09:17.619 --> 00:09:23.206 been in the shower and almost passed out and, and so I was ready. So I did 00:09:23.239 --> 00:09:30.307 , I did do the epidural. Did you have family there with you? Um, Grace's 00:09:30.340 --> 00:09:38.340 dad was there, and my mother was there. And um The uh the older generation 00:09:39.418 --> 00:09:46.226 of men were in the waiting room. That's normal. Or as typical for their 00:09:46.259 --> 00:09:48.316 generation. 00:09:48.349 --> 00:09:56.349 Um, So yeah, when I had the um When I was uh going through starting to 00:09:58.359 --> 00:10:04.885 experience the severe pain, Because that to me the whole 30 whatever hours 00:10:04.918 --> 00:10:11.625 , so it's 36 hours of labor, but 30. You know, 2 hours of that labor was 00:10:11.658 --> 00:10:16.106 just, uh, you know, some pressure, a little bit of pain and some pressure. 00:10:16.139 --> 00:10:24.139 Um, but when I hit that severe pain, um, One of the suggestions made by 00:10:24.178 --> 00:10:28.366 one of the nurses was to Take a shower. Would you like to get in the 00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:35.265 shower and The warm water might help you relax. So, OK, you know. Let's do 00:10:35.298 --> 00:10:40.846 that. I'll get in the shower and You know, get my clothes off and get in 00:10:40.879 --> 00:10:48.879 the shower, and I did. And I, um, 00:10:49.200 --> 00:10:52.566 Really, really, and I don't, maybe because I was standing now instead of 00:10:52.599 --> 00:10:58.787 laying down, it was, it, it got really bad to the point where I thought I 00:10:58.820 --> 00:11:04.866 was, I would pass out and so I told the nurse I needed to sit down, which 00:11:04.899 --> 00:11:12.385 I did sit down and I know from experience, if I'm going to pass out, I 00:11:12.418 --> 00:11:15.706 need to put my head down between my legs. That's all I need to do, and 00:11:15.739 --> 00:11:21.907 then I'm fine. Well, the nurse didn't want me to do that. She kept pushing 00:11:21.940 --> 00:11:29.246 my head up as I was trying to push my head down and We had some words and 00:11:29.279 --> 00:11:36.826 she let me recoup. Which was what she needed to do and. Then I got out of 00:11:36.859 --> 00:11:42.537 the shower and and that was shortly after that is when I had the epidural. 00:11:42.570 --> 00:11:47.606 So, and then I went to sleep. Which I don't know how normal that is, but 00:11:47.639 --> 00:11:52.525 it was it it was really nice. It was like, wow, this is, that's a good 00:11:52.558 --> 00:11:55.135 thing. 00:11:55.168 --> 00:11:59.706 It's a good thing. I took, I, I think it was probably. 00:11:59.739 --> 00:12:07.739 Um, I think I probably slept a good 3. 2 or 3 hours before it was time. To 00:12:11.158 --> 00:12:13.515 deliver. 00:12:13.548 --> 00:12:15.566 So 00:12:15.599 --> 00:12:18.346 That seems ideal. 00:12:18.379 --> 00:12:25.866 It was, it was because, you know, you're awake for 36 hours and or 30 00:12:25.899 --> 00:12:30.576 hours. Whatever it may be, you're exhausted, get a little sleep before 00:12:30.609 --> 00:12:38.609 it's time to do the real work. So it was it was really a great thing. And 00:12:39.109 --> 00:12:43.505 it wasn't that much work. The pushing part, so you can talk us through 00:12:43.538 --> 00:12:45.616 that. 00:12:45.649 --> 00:12:53.407 There's not much talking through to do on the pushing part, but we um I 00:12:53.440 --> 00:13:00.116 woke up and um My midwife had decided to go home for a little while while 00:13:00.149 --> 00:13:07.076 I slept, and so she was given orders to call when I was at a certain point 00:13:07.109 --> 00:13:12.726 , um. So when I 00:13:12.759 --> 00:13:19.927 Do we wanna 00:13:19.960 --> 00:13:27.960 So they um called the midwife and in the half hour's time it took her to 00:13:28.798 --> 00:13:36.798 come. Uh, she had very little time to be ready. For the baby. Um, because 00:13:38.859 --> 00:13:46.167 when it was time, it was just time. Um, so, uh, 00:13:46.200 --> 00:13:54.200 I do remember that. Um, The baby's father did not want to be anywhere else 00:13:54.619 --> 00:14:02.619 but behind me. Um, and Uh, I do, I remember also them having a mirror 00:14:05.190 --> 00:14:10.996 available, which I did not care to have, nor did he, of course, he didn't 00:14:11.029 --> 00:14:18.606 want, but he also noticed that the TV was creating a reflection. 00:14:18.639 --> 00:14:23.765 Which he asked to have moved as well. So once everything got set up just 00:14:23.798 --> 00:14:27.255 right for that, um. 00:14:27.288 --> 00:14:29.326 Uh 00:14:29.359 --> 00:14:33.606 My mother was brought in, I think she had, well, she was in and out, but 00:14:33.639 --> 00:14:41.467 my mother was brought in, um, and, uh. The the midwife finally gave me the 00:14:41.500 --> 00:14:47.025 orders to push, which I did for. 00:14:47.058 --> 00:14:55.058 I want to say 2 minutes tops. Um, Until she said stop. And Of course, when 00:14:58.519 --> 00:15:03.086 you're in the middle of something like that, that's just natural, you 00:15:03.119 --> 00:15:11.037 can't, you don't just stop, um. And so, needless to say, because I didn't 00:15:11.070 --> 00:15:19.070 stop, she did have to do an episiotomy, but out she came and um. It was uh 00:15:19.200 --> 00:15:22.746 It was exciting because um. 00:15:22.779 --> 00:15:26.866 I was surprised. There, there's one thing that, that I was surprised about. 00:15:26.899 --> 00:15:34.596 I, we chose not to be, to know the sex of the child. So, um. 00:15:34.629 --> 00:15:39.657 I didn't know, but I really wanted a girl. Um, 00:15:39.690 --> 00:15:45.015 But the thing that I was most surprised about. was that that was the 00:15:45.048 --> 00:15:50.826 furthest thing from my mind. So when 00:15:50.859 --> 00:15:57.667 She came out, her dad shouted, it's a girl. And that was, I was, of course 00:15:57.700 --> 00:16:02.226 , delighted, but that was the most surprising thing to me was I wasn't 00:16:02.259 --> 00:16:09.956 even thinking about that. Did not just did not matter at all. So Do you 00:16:09.989 --> 00:16:14.436 know what? 00:16:14.469 --> 00:16:21.037 Just that it was OK, you know. It's all that really, you know, I think if 00:16:21.070 --> 00:16:26.717 maybe. I don't know how much people, you know, I don't know how normal it 00:16:26.750 --> 00:16:31.917 is for people to be so curious and be so concerned about the sex because I 00:16:31.950 --> 00:16:37.486 thought I was, but you know at that moment in time it just. It's so it 00:16:37.519 --> 00:16:42.496 doesn't matter. It just You know, really, really didn't matter at all. So 00:16:42.529 --> 00:16:49.537 it was just, yeah, it was just the the the the concern that um This little 00:16:49.570 --> 00:16:56.736 person was just gonna be healthy and OK. Normal So they say that it's 00:16:56.769 --> 00:17:00.816 really common that mothers will pretty much do anything for the health of 00:17:00.849 --> 00:17:07.486 their babies. And so, um, That's why it's easy to convince people to have 00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:12.045 C-sections and things. That's true. You just do what people tell you, OK, 00:17:12.078 --> 00:17:19.506 is the right thing, yeah, um, that's interesting well. So, do you remember 00:17:19.539 --> 00:17:25.006 the moment that you saw the baby or they put it on your chest? Uh, what I 00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:33.039 remember when, um, they, when I first saw her, um, was that she seemed to 00:17:35.420 --> 00:17:42.276 be. Screaming from the top of her lungs, but it was so quiet. 00:17:42.309 --> 00:17:48.877 It was, it was, that was something that struck me as I, I just I, I, for 00:17:48.910 --> 00:17:53.676 some reason expected this, you know, screech coming from this, you know, 00:17:53.709 --> 00:17:59.637 little child who's, you know, He looks like he's ready to pop off because 00:17:59.670 --> 00:18:06.156 there's, it's exerting so much energy, yet it's this tiny little cry um 00:18:06.189 --> 00:18:08.785 and. 00:18:08.818 --> 00:18:13.785 Yes, they put her, they, they put her on me directly, and I held her for a 00:18:13.818 --> 00:18:20.147 little while before. They took her away and weighed her and measured her. 00:18:20.180 --> 00:18:28.180 And she was She had um black hair, which It was also surprising to me. We 00:18:28.439 --> 00:18:34.065 both, her, her father and I both have blonde hair. So I never, another 00:18:34.098 --> 00:18:37.585 thing you would never ever expect, you just expect your child will come 00:18:37.618 --> 00:18:43.467 out with the color of hair you expect them to have. Um, which the black 00:18:43.500 --> 00:18:49.186 hair, of course, all fell out and replaced by blonde eventually. 00:18:49.219 --> 00:18:55.436 So So did you stay in the hospital for time after that? 00:18:55.469 --> 00:19:03.469 Uh, I stayed in the hospital. For uh that night and came home the 00:19:05.789 --> 00:19:08.835 following afternoon. 00:19:08.868 --> 00:19:16.868 It was in April and I expected The weather to be nice and I remember it 00:19:17.059 --> 00:19:23.597 being the first. Time So far that year that we had to turn the air 00:19:23.630 --> 00:19:30.045 conditioning on in the car we were bringing. Our baby home. 00:19:30.078 --> 00:19:35.357 It's a hot April. Do you remember getting her home and what it was like in 00:19:35.390 --> 00:19:42.085 her home? Did you nurse or? My nursed, yes, I, um, when we brought her 00:19:42.118 --> 00:19:50.118 home, uh. She had one of those little um pink caps that they put on their 00:19:50.299 --> 00:19:57.706 heads still still on her head, um when we got to the house and we had uh a 00:19:57.739 --> 00:20:05.739 dog. Um, who was, of course, like our baby until we had a baby. Um, 00:20:07.130 --> 00:20:13.617 Who, as soon as we walked in, I walked in carrying the baby and went to, 00:20:13.650 --> 00:20:18.516 she was the dog was very curious and um 00:20:18.549 --> 00:20:26.549 She Jumped up and grabbed the little hat in her mouth and pulled it off 00:20:26.608 --> 00:20:30.107 the baby's head. 00:20:30.140 --> 00:20:35.897 And uh. Scared me. 00:20:35.930 --> 00:20:41.256 I realized at that point, OK, we need to, we need to set some rules here 00:20:41.289 --> 00:20:48.127 really fast. But they eventually they. hung out on the floor together all 00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:54.986 the time, so. It was just a very curious and excited dog. 00:20:55.019 --> 00:21:02.486 Was she a mellow baby? She was very mellow. She had, she was um It 00:21:02.519 --> 00:21:09.597 probably after the first month. Month to a month and a half, she. Um, 00:21:09.630 --> 00:21:17.630 began sleeping full nights and We had, I mean, she was a 1212 hour night 00:21:17.739 --> 00:21:25.739 sleeper when she got into the. Into the groove. So, um, it did when we 00:21:26.539 --> 00:21:34.539 Went through the um initial nursing process to back up a little bit. Um 00:21:36.328 --> 00:21:44.328 In the hospital, they had the lactation specialist there to help me. do 00:21:44.539 --> 00:21:48.867 whatever I needed to do to make that happen, um, but it was really clear 00:21:48.900 --> 00:21:56.217 that It just wasn't time yet. I wasn't, it wasn't letting down, so, um. 00:21:56.250 --> 00:22:03.936 They really, really pushed me to keep pushing her to, to work at it. And 00:22:03.969 --> 00:22:09.969 she was, she would just get frustrated because there was nothing there. Um. 00:22:10.108 --> 00:22:12.108 I went, I believe it was about 3 days. Um, Before I actually let down and. 00:22:23.709 --> 00:22:31.709 There was anything there for her to. To actually latch on for. So, um, 00:22:31.868 --> 00:22:36.476 and it was with a glass of wine. 00:22:36.509 --> 00:22:44.055 I had been given that advice by My husband's ex-wife. He said, you just 00:22:44.088 --> 00:22:50.887 need to have a glass of wine, just relax, and it'll happen. So I did, and 00:22:50.920 --> 00:22:56.607 it worked and I felt guilty, of course, because I just had some wine and 00:22:56.640 --> 00:23:04.640 But Jeanette told me I Guinness. Guinness. That's funny. 00:23:04.979 --> 00:23:12.166 That's interesting Let's see. 00:23:12.199 --> 00:23:15.555 I think I have much else. Is there anything else that you can think of? 00:23:15.588 --> 00:23:20.835 We're kind of asking people to think of a word or a grouping of words that 00:23:20.868 --> 00:23:25.045 kind of. Describes their experience, cause we're separating these into 00:23:25.078 --> 00:23:31.075 themes, so we're kind of Saying what the common threads are between the 00:23:31.108 --> 00:23:38.926 stories besides the baby. 00:23:38.959 --> 00:23:42.535 Um, 00:23:42.568 --> 00:23:49.887 Can you give me an example? Um, Gosh, so one woman said empowerment, you 00:23:49.920 --> 00:23:54.305 know, she, OK, so the experience that experience or it could be, you know 00:23:54.338 --> 00:23:59.666 , anything. 00:23:59.699 --> 00:24:07.699 Hm. 00:24:13.380 --> 00:24:21.380 I mean, it's just a life changing experience, so. That's something that 00:24:23.000 --> 00:24:26.857 Um, 00:24:26.890 --> 00:24:31.097 You 00:24:31.130 --> 00:24:38.666 You're just never, you're never the same after you have a child, so. 00:24:38.699 --> 00:24:43.766 I mean, uh, it's, it's more to, to me, yeah, sure, I could use empowerment. 00:24:43.799 --> 00:24:51.799 I mean, I could use um You know, Rebirth. I mean, it's, it's a it's a, 00:24:52.529 --> 00:24:57.097 it's not only a birth of a child, but it's sort of a, a, a rebirth of a, a 00:24:57.130 --> 00:25:05.130 new person, you know, a new. Part of your life that is. Change you in so 00:25:05.709 --> 00:25:08.325 many different ways. 00:25:08.358 --> 00:25:12.926 That's way too many words. Yeah, that was perfect. That was perfect. 00:25:12.959 --> 00:25:15.519 That's great. OK.