WEBVTT 00:00:00.930 --> 00:00:05.125 This is Boris Solis interviewing Bianca Parsons Costco for Creative Push 00:00:05.158 --> 00:00:11.456 on August 13th at 1:11. OK, so we'll get started. So why don't you take me 00:00:11.489 --> 00:00:16.907 through the The um picture book here. The first when she was born. This is 00:00:16.940 --> 00:00:20.306 Annie? Mhm. Oh. 00:00:20.339 --> 00:00:27.675 She was what, 6 pounds and 14 ounces. She was the largest of my 3. They 00:00:27.708 --> 00:00:32.835 were all about the same weight. Is this all Annie? Yes, my goodness. Was 00:00:32.868 --> 00:00:39.426 she an easy baby. Super easy. Good girl. I breastfed her for 2.5 years. 00:00:39.459 --> 00:00:43.546 She was, um, the recorder was wrapped around her neck when she was born, 00:00:43.579 --> 00:00:47.347 so they had to give her oxygen. They collapsed one of her lungs. She had 00:00:47.380 --> 00:00:54.146 to stay in um. And the intensive care and the baby unit, so I would nurse 00:00:54.179 --> 00:00:59.866 my milk and come in. She's like a feed her young lady now. She seems so 00:00:59.899 --> 00:01:04.385 strong and healthy. Yeah, I'm shocked to hear that. OK, well, why don't we 00:01:04.418 --> 00:01:08.507 get right into it then? Do you think that was good for sound levels? Can 00:01:08.540 --> 00:01:12.147 you just tell me a little bit about yourself? And I'm gonna adjust my 00:01:12.180 --> 00:01:20.180 seating. Well, I first got married when I was 15. And um I had uh. Two 00:01:20.329 --> 00:01:25.135 birds, uh, with two little boys all natural and two healthy little boys. 00:01:25.168 --> 00:01:29.447 The first one I didn't know much about. Having a baby, I was what, what, 00:01:29.480 --> 00:01:37.016 16 when I had him. He um was 6 pounds 12 ounces, and um I was nursing him 00:01:37.049 --> 00:01:42.305 , but I was so tiny myself that he was malnutritioned. He had his own skin 00:01:42.338 --> 00:01:46.286 they could pick him up from his own skin because he was so thin. And the 00:01:46.319 --> 00:01:50.967 2nd 1 I was better, and then the 3rd 1 was born when my 2nd son was 20 00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:58.305 years old. So there was quite a gap between the pregnancies. And um All 3 00:01:58.338 --> 00:02:02.876 pregnancies I only gained like 40 pounds. You don't have to rush through 00:02:02.909 --> 00:02:06.355 these at all, so feel free to like really take your time. So where were 00:02:06.388 --> 00:02:12.285 you? Were you when you were 15? Uh, was this like your true love that you 00:02:12.318 --> 00:02:16.844 met, or was it like what was the experience of meeting this man? We were 00:02:16.877 --> 00:02:20.366 born, we were in a family that we weren't allowed to have anybody come 00:02:20.399 --> 00:02:25.805 into our home and we didn't go into any other other people's home. My mom 00:02:25.838 --> 00:02:31.786 didn't have friends. Nobody ever came around. And um So when a young man 00:02:31.819 --> 00:02:36.146 started. Courting me, you know, and then he'd start coming around, then my 00:02:36.179 --> 00:02:40.866 dad would chase him away. 00:02:40.899 --> 00:02:43.767 And uh 00:02:43.800 --> 00:02:49.047 So he kept trying to come around so then my dad went to speak to his dad 00:02:49.080 --> 00:02:53.686 and they got together and then they came to the conclusion that uh we're 00:02:53.719 --> 00:02:57.495 gonna they're gonna marry us so we got married. I had never even been 00:02:57.528 --> 00:02:59.717 kissed. 00:02:59.750 --> 00:03:03.436 So had you um had feelings for him? Can I put this, I'm going to put this 00:03:03.469 --> 00:03:06.517 under your watch just for a second because I don't want to have to edit 00:03:06.550 --> 00:03:11.967 out that sounds, but, um, so were you, did you have affection for him? He 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:15.366 was like the fawns of the neighborhood, you know, and all the girls liked 00:03:15.399 --> 00:03:19.047 him and I was just like a little homie, we weren't allowed to wear slacks 00:03:19.080 --> 00:03:24.327 , we had dresses down below our knees. We didn't wear makeup, we were just 00:03:24.360 --> 00:03:28.886 , you know, plain jeans and I was just couldn't believe that he would be 00:03:28.919 --> 00:03:33.517 interested in me that plane. 00:03:33.550 --> 00:03:41.550 I always thought. So, um, was, was he, was he Hispanic as well, he's um. 00:03:42.808 --> 00:03:44.808 Mexican origin, both as parents. Mhm. So, um, so you got married and how 00:03:49.308 --> 00:03:53.237 soon after that were you trying to have a baby? No, we didn't know much 00:03:53.270 --> 00:03:57.286 about babies. My daughter, my sister and I thought we're gonna have babies 00:03:57.319 --> 00:04:01.475 either from a stork or Santa Claus, as hard as that is to believe. We 00:04:01.508 --> 00:04:05.237 didn't know anything. So at 15, you were getting married and you didn't 00:04:05.270 --> 00:04:09.416 know how babies. 00:04:09.449 --> 00:04:13.916 That's really interesting. So did you know about sex? 00:04:13.949 --> 00:04:18.645 So what was that like? My first time, it was like, if you don't get off 00:04:18.678 --> 00:04:24.387 from me, I'm gonna call my dad, you know, I'm gonna tell my dad. I didn't. 00:04:24.420 --> 00:04:31.776 Just didn't know anything. And then did you, um, so then can you explain 00:04:31.809 --> 00:04:36.245 how you kind of came of age? You know what I mean? Did you grow more 00:04:36.278 --> 00:04:39.697 affectionate towards your husband and 00:04:39.730 --> 00:04:46.447 It took a while. I was always so shy. I'd hide the dress. I. One time he 00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:51.286 opened the shower curtain and I just cried and cried, couldn't believe 00:04:51.319 --> 00:04:59.319 that he would dare, you know. Open the the curtain and see me. And um But 00:04:59.910 --> 00:05:06.245 I've after on the 2nd 1, cause they were only 1 year apart, then I was. 00:05:06.278 --> 00:05:11.526 More familiar to it was all OK and it was all part of being married and 00:05:11.559 --> 00:05:13.976 but uh. 00:05:14.009 --> 00:05:17.416 We didn't know anything. So your mother didn't tell you before you got 00:05:17.449 --> 00:05:21.495 married that this is going to happen. Did you know anything about the male 00:05:21.528 --> 00:05:28.656 anatomy? No. I didn't, I didn't, I thought that I wanted to have one son 00:05:28.689 --> 00:05:31.736 that was 1 year old and I wanted to have a son that was gonna be 2 years, 00:05:31.769 --> 00:05:37.586 you know, that was just a year apart. So I waited till he turned a year. 00:05:37.619 --> 00:05:41.817 Not realizing that I had to wait 9 months pregnant, so they're a year and 00:05:41.850 --> 00:05:48.336 9 months apart, not, uh, you know, cause I didn't even know that. 00:05:48.369 --> 00:05:51.495 So but that was, but you had already been pregnant for 9 months with the 00:05:51.528 --> 00:05:56.856 first one, but then you didn't, you didn't. I didn't, you know, imagine 15 00:05:56.889 --> 00:06:03.336 , you have this little baby, you're trying to take care of it. You, I 00:06:03.369 --> 00:06:09.705 didn't know anything. I didn't have my mother around to help me. Why? 00:06:09.738 --> 00:06:14.286 Once I left home, I just never went back. Did you move away from home? You 00:06:14.319 --> 00:06:20.106 know what, my mom had moved. With my two brothers. And then my sister and 00:06:20.139 --> 00:06:25.106 I had stayed with my father at that time. Did you have um loving parents 00:06:25.139 --> 00:06:29.856 and a good home life? We came from a divorced home. My mom and dad 00:06:29.889 --> 00:06:34.286 divorced when I was 5. And we, we were raised with my mother, but we 00:06:34.319 --> 00:06:39.575 always had my grandparents around, my grandpa Italian, and my grandmother 00:06:39.608 --> 00:06:46.947 Spaniard from Madrid, Spain. So they were Pretty strict to them. But 00:06:46.980 --> 00:06:51.305 didn't talk to us, that's the thing. Kids were in one room and the adults 00:06:51.338 --> 00:06:55.067 were never allowed they would speak another language if we stepped into 00:06:55.100 --> 00:06:59.075 the room. Were they religious? 00:06:59.108 --> 00:07:04.426 So did you, do you think that kind of colored some of your um ignorance 00:07:04.459 --> 00:07:10.637 towards sex and things like that that you know. Certain things were um 00:07:10.670 --> 00:07:15.825 private or was there guilt or shame or anything? No guilt or shame. We 00:07:15.858 --> 00:07:22.575 were raised very um Catholic. We were We were raised here in Arizona. I 00:07:22.608 --> 00:07:26.906 was, we were born in Des Moines, Iowa, came here when I was 5. My brother 00:07:26.939 --> 00:07:32.437 and sister suffered from asthma. And um 00:07:32.470 --> 00:07:37.586 Then in the summer, they would either take us or send us to Central 00:07:37.619 --> 00:07:42.395 America. The Italian side of the family has a big pasta factory where the 00:07:42.428 --> 00:07:47.676 family all lives and works. And then uh we went to private Catholic 00:07:47.709 --> 00:07:54.507 schools. And at one point we even lived in a nuns' convents up there. And 00:07:54.540 --> 00:08:00.137 um Me, if they would have left me, I would have been divinely happy there. 00:08:00.170 --> 00:08:05.257 And the peace and the serenity and just um. But when we came back and I 00:08:05.290 --> 00:08:09.637 was of age and they started courting me and then it just all happened. But 00:08:09.670 --> 00:08:16.796 it was religion was very important. You're fascinating. Oh, thank you. 00:08:16.829 --> 00:08:22.846 That's really interesting. So, OK, so let's go back to the beginning then. 00:08:22.879 --> 00:08:26.036 um, how soon after you were with your husband did you get pregnant? Right 00:08:26.069 --> 00:08:32.275 away? Right away, I can't remember exactly when we got married, but right 00:08:32.308 --> 00:08:40.047 away I had. I was pregnant My little boy, little boy. So then you, how was 00:08:40.080 --> 00:08:43.566 pregnancy? Do you remember? Was it hot? Was it summertime you were 00:08:43.599 --> 00:08:49.547 pregnant during the winter? Well, he was born June 27th. So I got a, a 00:08:49.580 --> 00:08:55.875 taste of both, but it, it was, I loved being pregnant. I loved having that 00:08:55.908 --> 00:09:02.885 the feeling of the little baby inside of me, the. Um, it was just The best 00:09:02.918 --> 00:09:07.005 times of my life, I think, is when I've been pregnant. I don't think we've 00:09:07.038 --> 00:09:11.346 been recording quite a bit and I don't think I've ever. say that that's 00:09:11.379 --> 00:09:17.657 excellent. So when you, um, so you were having your period, you're 15, 00:09:17.690 --> 00:09:20.456 you're having your period, you're having sex with your new husband, and 00:09:20.489 --> 00:09:23.616 then all of a sudden your period stops and you think, what's wrong? and 00:09:23.649 --> 00:09:27.417 then you go to the the doctor or how did you know you were pregnant? Well 00:09:27.450 --> 00:09:34.927 , I was trying to finish school. High school. No, the 8th grade. Reason 00:09:34.960 --> 00:09:40.895 being that since they we were between um another country and another 00:09:40.928 --> 00:09:48.928 language and then coming here, excuse me then. We I don't know what year 00:09:49.080 --> 00:09:54.145 you're supposed to get out of the 8th grade out of, but. I was 15, they 00:09:54.178 --> 00:10:01.206 took me, um. Into the nurse's office, my home economics teacher. And uh 00:10:01.239 --> 00:10:06.505 they're the ones that. You know, took me to a doctor and they told me that 00:10:06.538 --> 00:10:11.746 I was pregnant. How did they know? Well, they could see my tummy growing. 00:10:11.779 --> 00:10:15.755 I was in school. So did you not, did you just think you were gaining 00:10:15.788 --> 00:10:20.677 weight? I don't, I don't recall. 00:10:20.710 --> 00:10:24.456 Interesting. OK, so then you went to the doctor. What was that experience 00:10:24.489 --> 00:10:28.287 like? 00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:33.005 Did the doctor tell you like, OK, it's gonna be 9 months, you're going to. 00:10:33.038 --> 00:10:37.807 No, didn't even explain anything, just that I was going to have a baby. 00:10:37.840 --> 00:10:41.866 And so then I go and I'm all excited and I tell, you know, him and his 00:10:41.899 --> 00:10:49.057 family that, you know, we're gonna have a baby. But even with that, I, we 00:10:49.090 --> 00:10:54.875 were staying with his family and um I would stay in my room. When 00:10:54.908 --> 00:10:57.765 everybody would leave, you know, go to sleep or whatever, then I would 00:10:57.798 --> 00:11:04.206 come out. But I was very, um, just in there with my pregnancy by myself 00:11:04.239 --> 00:11:09.635 and then with my tiny baby by myself. Did you not feel comfortable there, 00:11:09.668 --> 00:11:16.066 or? We, that's how we were raised. We didn't go into others' homes and. 00:11:16.099 --> 00:11:19.686 Strangers never came into our homes either. And we didn't have that much 00:11:19.719 --> 00:11:25.765 family here. It's interesting. So, OK, so then you experienced pregnancy 00:11:25.798 --> 00:11:28.686 and you loved it. Did you gain a lot of weight? No, you said you didn't 00:11:28.719 --> 00:11:33.407 gain much weight. No, I just, I would hit the first one, not even 40 00:11:33.440 --> 00:11:35.967 pounds. 00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:41.236 Um, and then, so you, you had no knowledge of what to expect with labor 00:11:41.269 --> 00:11:46.956 and delivery. Can you tell me a little bit about that, like how, you know 00:11:46.989 --> 00:11:50.885 , when we went to the hospital. 00:11:50.918 --> 00:11:57.246 I, um, with the with the pains, then we wound up going to the hospital and. 00:11:57.279 --> 00:12:00.047 What I remember out of the whole pregnancy is that I had to go to the 00:12:00.080 --> 00:12:04.635 bathroom so bad. And but when I went to the bathroom, it's when my water 00:12:04.668 --> 00:12:12.346 broke. And um they took me in right away and. The labor pains has been, it 00:12:12.379 --> 00:12:20.307 was just so quick. That My baby was born and he was so little. 00:12:20.340 --> 00:12:24.787 So when you started having, so take me back to when you're at home, you're 00:12:24.820 --> 00:12:28.885 at home and you're in that little room, and then you're having cramping, 00:12:28.918 --> 00:12:33.505 you you not know what it is. Well, they, they had said that we would get 00:12:33.538 --> 00:12:40.346 pain and cramping and then, you know, to have the baby. So I don't, it's 00:12:40.379 --> 00:12:46.326 been such a long time. Like, you know, I can't even foresee the pain that 00:12:46.359 --> 00:12:50.885 it was. But um 00:12:50.918 --> 00:12:54.297 It's like having the appendicitis. I had an appendicitis. It was so bad, 00:12:54.330 --> 00:12:59.417 the pain that I knew I had to go to the hospital. So, so you said the 00:12:59.450 --> 00:13:03.135 labor was quick, so you were in the hospital. Did you lay on your back? 00:13:03.168 --> 00:13:06.537 Can you kind of paint the picture for me what that experience was like? It 00:13:06.570 --> 00:13:13.265 was just went in. They had the bed ready. They. Um, pains were coming so 00:13:13.298 --> 00:13:17.226 fast, the baby was already ready to come. They put the little stilts for 00:13:17.259 --> 00:13:21.706 my feet up there, and, uh, it seemed like with just a few, couldn't have 00:13:21.739 --> 00:13:26.907 been an hour and my baby was born. Did you labor at home for long? Did you 00:13:26.940 --> 00:13:31.255 have the cramping at home for a long time? 00:13:31.288 --> 00:13:35.726 15 year old bodies are made for making babies. It's so true, isn't it? 00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:42.537 It's the time to do it. So, OK, so that was your first child, and talk to 00:13:42.570 --> 00:13:48.135 us about um when the baby emerged, was your husband there? 00:13:48.168 --> 00:13:54.177 Not in the room. No, he wasn't, he wasn't in the room, um. Second 00:13:54.210 --> 00:14:01.106 pregnancy either. They, I guess weren't allowed. Or he couldn't face it, I 00:14:01.139 --> 00:14:07.025 don't know. Did they hand you Yes, they gave me my baby and they put him 00:14:07.058 --> 00:14:14.005 on my chest and then right away I started, you know, nursing him. And um 00:14:14.038 --> 00:14:19.436 It was just such a tiny good little boy. How much did he weigh? Uh, 6 00:14:19.469 --> 00:14:23.125 pounds 12 ounces. And then you were saying something about the nursing, 00:14:23.158 --> 00:14:29.375 was that an issue? Well, I was so malnutrition myself. I must have weighed 00:14:29.408 --> 00:14:35.726 about 89 pounds. I was just a tiny little girl, and um You know, being 00:14:35.759 --> 00:14:42.106 sheltered in the room, I wasn't getting the proper nutrition and um. But I 00:14:42.139 --> 00:14:45.066 did know after the baby was born that I had to take him for checkups, and 00:14:45.099 --> 00:14:48.586 then that's when they started giving me vitamins, but there was so much 00:14:48.619 --> 00:14:53.326 little bit of milk coming out, I was actually starving the baby. So when 00:14:53.359 --> 00:14:57.765 you were in your room, you weren't participating in regular meal times 00:14:57.798 --> 00:15:00.856 with the rest of the family? 00:15:00.889 --> 00:15:04.275 So did you eat in your room, or did you only eat after everyone left? 00:15:04.308 --> 00:15:06.836 Sometimes I would eat in my room, you know, he'd bring me something and 00:15:06.869 --> 00:15:11.125 then I would, you know, turn around and I would eat, but. It was just 00:15:11.158 --> 00:15:16.936 difficult because it wasn't, I don't know, just had to have get used to. 00:15:16.969 --> 00:15:20.616 So, OK, then you went to the doctor and they said your baby is 00:15:20.649 --> 00:15:25.616 malnourished. And then what was the procedure after that? They started 00:15:25.649 --> 00:15:31.005 giving me. Uh, vitamins so that I could, uh, get a little bit more milk. 00:15:31.038 --> 00:15:36.826 He was actually constipated and he was peeing blood. That, that, uh, from 00:15:36.859 --> 00:15:42.726 so ignorant, it was total ignorancey in my part because I didn't know. 00:15:42.759 --> 00:15:48.667 Because no one told you. I mean, it's not your fault. So um. OK, so then 00:15:48.700 --> 00:15:53.066 did he start to gain weight more quickly? Yes, the little guy was walking 00:15:53.099 --> 00:16:01.099 at the. Before it was 9 months. What? Yeah, little guy was gone. That's 00:16:01.599 --> 00:16:06.907 amazing. Very active, very, uh. 00:16:06.940 --> 00:16:12.366 Healthy little boy. What is he doing now? 00:16:12.399 --> 00:16:15.706 He lives at home with me. 00:16:15.739 --> 00:16:23.326 He's my pride and joy. Yes, uh, we, um. His home in my in my home. I have 00:16:23.359 --> 00:16:28.125 another home for my brother, so we all live on the same property. OK, so 00:16:28.158 --> 00:16:33.525 then, um, so you raised him. That was great. And then you waited a year 00:16:33.558 --> 00:16:38.206 and then you got pregnant and 9 months later you had your second son. Yes. 00:16:38.239 --> 00:16:43.525 So tell me about that process. We you you decided to then use birth 00:16:43.558 --> 00:16:51.558 control in between that year or? How did you not get pregnant for a year? 00:16:52.269 --> 00:16:58.336 I never use your birth control. I've never used birth control. What all of 00:16:58.369 --> 00:17:03.677 between all of my three kids. It's amazing that you have only 3 kids. 00:17:03.710 --> 00:17:08.145 That's you're very lucky. Daddy only wanted. He really didn't want any 00:17:08.178 --> 00:17:14.656 kids. He wasn't expecting. I wanted 12. I wanted 12 boys. 00:17:14.689 --> 00:17:19.736 What were you thinking? I know football team. 00:17:19.769 --> 00:17:26.805 OK, so OK, so then you, you know, get pregnant after a year, and this time 00:17:26.838 --> 00:17:31.166 you know more that sex leads to pregnancy and this is what's going to 00:17:31.199 --> 00:17:35.526 happen. Um, and were you really excited to be pregnant? Can you tell me 00:17:35.559 --> 00:17:38.967 about like finding out now, did you know what it meant? Like did you know 00:17:39.000 --> 00:17:43.045 you were pregnant or did someone else have to say? No, I went to the 00:17:43.078 --> 00:17:49.555 doctor and I was a little more grown up by then and um. 00:17:49.588 --> 00:17:53.196 I took care of myself with the prenatal vitamins. I was under doctor's 00:17:53.229 --> 00:17:58.035 observation. I had a fat healthy little boy, only a couple more ounces 00:17:58.068 --> 00:18:02.305 heavier than the other one, but he was a healthy little boy. The pregnancy 00:18:02.338 --> 00:18:09.075 was Adorable. I love being pregnant. There were no complications. I also 00:18:09.108 --> 00:18:12.976 had him within a really short time. 00:18:13.009 --> 00:18:17.627 Maybe 00:18:17.660 --> 00:18:22.976 Just a little bit longer than the first. Hm, an hour, hour and a half 00:18:23.009 --> 00:18:30.236 about, that was it, and my baby was born with no problems. Well, OK, so 00:18:30.269 --> 00:18:37.815 then, um, what happened after that? Well, then I. But I was 17 then with 00:18:37.848 --> 00:18:44.906 the two boys. Then I became single when I was 25. Um, when my youngest boy 00:18:44.939 --> 00:18:50.226 was uh 20 years old, well before he was 20 when I remarried um Donieta's 00:18:50.259 --> 00:18:54.085 father. And um 00:18:54.118 --> 00:19:01.085 Then unexpectedly I become pregnant. But I was overjoyed, and uh so then I 00:19:01.118 --> 00:19:04.647 found out it was gonna be a little girl. But when you have boys and they 00:19:04.680 --> 00:19:08.815 get to be their twenties, you're thankful you're gonna have a little girl. 00:19:08.848 --> 00:19:16.848 And the pregnancy was great, um. The relationship was um. 00:19:18.098 --> 00:19:26.098 Such a wonderful guy and then all of a sudden the attitude would change. 00:19:26.199 --> 00:19:31.506 And um during the pregnancy, I just didn't want her to be born. I just 00:19:31.539 --> 00:19:36.357 wanted to hold her inside of me. I wanted to keep her safe, um. Was he 00:19:36.390 --> 00:19:38.696 abusive? 00:19:38.729 --> 00:19:43.776 We worried for your safety? It was um. 00:19:43.809 --> 00:19:50.597 Verbal abuse, yeah. And uh So 00:19:50.630 --> 00:19:54.397 When the baby was gonna be born, I remember we went to um the pregnancy 00:19:54.430 --> 00:20:01.877 was healthy and everything except for my mental state was a little charred. 00:20:01.910 --> 00:20:09.910 And um she was 2 weeks late being born. And it was a snowstorm. And he 00:20:11.219 --> 00:20:16.926 drives me to the hospital when I was in labor, parks in the parking lot, 00:20:16.959 --> 00:20:21.967 way over there, away from the emergency room. I have to walk, holding my 00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:26.127 belly, thinking my baby's gonna be born in the snow right there. Then when 00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:29.486 I finally get to the door, they bring up a wheelchair and they're like, 00:20:29.519 --> 00:20:35.476 why don't you bring out the front door. And we go in and uh. The delivery 00:20:35.509 --> 00:20:40.526 was also quick, like my two boys. The only thing was that when she was 00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:45.936 born, there wasn't any crying. And um they just took her away to the 00:20:45.969 --> 00:20:53.127 corner. And she wasn't breathing. And they gave her oxygen when, like, 00:20:53.160 --> 00:20:56.686 they didn't give me my baby where her dad was there with me holding my 00:20:56.719 --> 00:21:02.156 hand. And we're both looking at each other, it's like, we didn't know, you 00:21:02.189 --> 00:21:07.565 know, she was OK or not. And uh they gave her oxygen, they collapsed one 00:21:07.598 --> 00:21:15.196 of her little lungs. So then they had to put a tube. And uh in her lung. 00:21:15.229 --> 00:21:21.206 And um So she was, you know, right out of they didn't hand her to me. I 00:21:21.239 --> 00:21:25.246 didn't get to hold her till, you know, they took her out of her little 00:21:25.279 --> 00:21:32.246 incubation state, and she was there for, gosh, almost a couple of months. 00:21:32.279 --> 00:21:35.897 And I would be going over there and, you know, taking my, I would nurse 00:21:35.930 --> 00:21:43.035 her, I would take milk, so they could feed the baby when I wasn't there. 00:21:43.068 --> 00:21:50.426 So they, they accidentally collapsed one of her lungs. How they, with the 00:21:50.459 --> 00:21:55.196 oxygen, I mean, they don't really didn't explain, they just said that, you 00:21:55.229 --> 00:22:00.377 know, her lungs had that um she wasn't breathing. So when they gave her 00:22:00.410 --> 00:22:06.236 oxygen, one of her lungs collapsed. 00:22:06.269 --> 00:22:10.325 So how were you emotionally at this time? Like how did you handle that 00:22:10.358 --> 00:22:15.045 experience of not hearing the crying and well, it was shock. I thought 00:22:15.078 --> 00:22:18.446 something had happened. I thought the first thing that came to my thought 00:22:18.479 --> 00:22:22.325 is that she was gone, the baby's not crying, and they rushed her off and 00:22:22.358 --> 00:22:26.446 then when they came back and said that you know she was OK, that the cord 00:22:26.479 --> 00:22:31.736 had been wrapped around her neck and that she hadn't been breathing and. 00:22:31.769 --> 00:22:37.656 Oh, I do remember something about the labor. During the labor, I turned 00:22:37.689 --> 00:22:41.696 around and I told the doctor, I said, you know what, I've done this twice 00:22:41.729 --> 00:22:46.026 before, go ahead and give me the the epidural. 00:22:46.059 --> 00:22:51.857 I do remember asking for it this time around and. They didn't, they said I 00:22:51.890 --> 00:22:57.357 was too far. You know, along to to get it. And then when the baby was born 00:22:57.390 --> 00:23:02.226 , they told me that it was a good thing that I didn't. Because the baby 00:23:02.259 --> 00:23:06.097 surely probably wouldn't wouldn't have survived. 00:23:06.130 --> 00:23:09.867 Because when they give you the epidural, you're not pushing, you're not 00:23:09.900 --> 00:23:14.617 anxious and you're not in that severe pain that you wanna just throw, you 00:23:14.650 --> 00:23:18.847 know, you push it out, you're numbed. 00:23:18.880 --> 00:23:22.016 And the reason I know that because I've been in the birthroom with my 00:23:22.049 --> 00:23:30.049 niece. So they thought that the labor would take longer. 00:23:30.068 --> 00:23:35.575 Interesting. So, um, gosh, so how often did you get to see her once a day 00:23:35.608 --> 00:23:39.416 did you go? Oh, sometimes I would just stay there. I would stay around the 00:23:39.449 --> 00:23:43.026 clock as long as they let me stay there. I stayed there with the baby. And 00:23:43.059 --> 00:23:45.746 then when I had to go home to really rest, then I would go and I would 00:23:45.779 --> 00:23:51.085 come back. So what was it like when you brought her home? Oh, we brought 00:23:51.118 --> 00:23:56.266 her home in a little browns outfit. Tiny little thing, the cutest little 00:23:56.299 --> 00:24:03.357 thing, and I remember my um stepson was uh sitting on the couch. And he 00:24:03.390 --> 00:24:08.967 will just put. 9, 10, and the first thing I did is I handed over this 00:24:09.000 --> 00:24:13.176 little bundle of joy and put it on his lap, having our little baby home, 00:24:13.209 --> 00:24:19.676 it was just wonderful. She slept in the middle of Daddy and I 00:24:19.709 --> 00:24:22.795 Till she was. 00:24:22.828 --> 00:24:27.726 Gosh, maybe 5 00:24:27.759 --> 00:24:32.006 But she was just always, she would sleep on top of daddy's chest, and I 00:24:32.039 --> 00:24:35.406 was a little baby and I was right there with mommy was nursing her, you 00:24:35.439 --> 00:24:41.246 know, 2.5 years I nursed the baby girl and carried her around. I had one 00:24:41.279 --> 00:24:45.217 of the little pouches. I just didn't want to put her down. 00:24:45.250 --> 00:24:52.137 What, what did she wear when she was born? Uh. 6 pounds. 00:24:52.170 --> 00:24:57.597 16 ounces. 00:24:57.630 --> 00:25:02.357 Yeah, they were small babies. Were you um heavier with the second one, 00:25:02.390 --> 00:25:06.795 because you were so thin for the first and a little bit better for the 00:25:06.828 --> 00:25:09.835 second, but for the 3rd, were you, did you have more weight on your bones 00:25:09.868 --> 00:25:16.486 ? I actually went up to 140 pounds pregnant for my daughter. Which was a 00:25:16.519 --> 00:25:20.926 lot for you. Well, I'm. 00:25:20.959 --> 00:25:25.877 From the first one from being like about 89 pounds, and then the second 00:25:25.910 --> 00:25:30.887 son, I might have been maybe about 90, and then I was over 100 pounds when 00:25:30.920 --> 00:25:38.920 I got pregnant from Maybe about 105, 8, 10, I don't know. But I was, I 00:25:39.439 --> 00:25:42.887 remember I was 140 pounds that they first they thought I was gonna have 00:25:42.920 --> 00:25:48.285 twins. I was so I was big, but I was a little baby. Did you lose the 00:25:48.318 --> 00:25:54.367 weight quickly? Yes. From the breastfeeding or just from. Did you exercise 00:25:54.400 --> 00:25:57.555 or do anything like that? I've exercised my whole life. My life, my 00:25:57.588 --> 00:26:02.026 exercise in my sanity. What kind of exercise? 00:26:02.059 --> 00:26:06.986 Yoga, now it's yoga. I never knew about yoga before, but I would, uh, yes 00:26:07.019 --> 00:26:11.467 , I did. I remember with my two boys I got stuck between the two couches 00:26:11.500 --> 00:26:18.976 doing yoga. But jogging in the mornings, uh, being in the gym, aquacise, 00:26:19.009 --> 00:26:23.835 aerobics, whatever. That's great. 00:26:23.868 --> 00:26:28.936 So, OK, so then, um, Tell me what her recovery once you took her home from 00:26:28.969 --> 00:26:34.815 the hospital, was she like, you know, off oxygen, off tubes, like. She was 00:26:34.848 --> 00:26:37.815 off of everything. She was just like a regular little baby just coming 00:26:37.848 --> 00:26:44.236 home. So in the hospital, did they have to do some sort of therapy for her 00:26:44.269 --> 00:26:49.446 chest, or how did they help with the breathing situation? Just while they 00:26:49.479 --> 00:26:53.887 kept her there in the baby unit, you know, in a little glass bed, they 00:26:53.920 --> 00:26:59.526 just kept taking the they gave her the air was in there and whatever the 00:26:59.559 --> 00:27:05.857 doctors do, I don't know. Uh, I didn't, I wasn't one of those inquisitive 00:27:05.890 --> 00:27:10.256 people because I didn't know better either, you know, what happened, 00:27:10.289 --> 00:27:13.976 what's going on, what are you doing? Just waited for them to give me my 00:27:14.009 --> 00:27:17.397 babies so I'm gonna take her home. 00:27:17.430 --> 00:27:20.526 That's a long time to wait. 00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:24.147 So, um, how was home life once you had the baby home? Was the marriage, 00:27:24.180 --> 00:27:32.180 did it last, or was it, did it get? It. I stayed for 6 years. 00:27:32.509 --> 00:27:38.887 I tried, I tried for 6 years. Yeah, after the 6 years, I just. One 00:27:38.920 --> 00:27:43.166 incident that I just thought this is not good and I just packed her up and 00:27:43.199 --> 00:27:49.706 I um. Moved out for a short time, then I came back home to Arizona. Yeah, 00:27:49.739 --> 00:27:56.686 I understand. Um, my, we had a very verbally abusive, uh, stepfather, and 00:27:56.719 --> 00:28:02.107 it was the one incident, you know, and then. That's it. A mother. It takes 00:28:02.140 --> 00:28:06.186 that incident sometimes though that pushes it to make a decision about it 00:28:06.219 --> 00:28:13.676 , right? Um, but is she still in touch with him now or anything? Yes. For 00:28:13.709 --> 00:28:19.305 20 almost. 20 some years we've been waiting for daddy to come around, 00:28:19.338 --> 00:28:23.776 still yet. It's tough. 00:28:23.809 --> 00:28:29.617 So you've had some really um wonderful labor experiences and then one very 00:28:29.650 --> 00:28:34.097 trying. I was indeed, indeed blessed uh-huh with my pregnancy. That's one 00:28:34.130 --> 00:28:37.736 thing. With the religion, that's what I would do, get on my knees and pray 00:28:37.769 --> 00:28:41.256 , let them have all the little fingers, let them be complete, let them be 00:28:41.289 --> 00:28:49.289 whole and healthy. Mm. So, um, can you, um, Like reflect on your 00:28:50.509 --> 00:28:58.357 experience with labor and delivery and um maybe think of uh a phrase or 00:28:58.390 --> 00:29:06.117 word or something that kind of like describes your personal experience. 00:29:06.150 --> 00:29:08.627 Of fulfillment. 00:29:08.660 --> 00:29:12.666 During the whole pregnancy and. 00:29:12.699 --> 00:29:17.835 Then having The after little mass on your arms, you know, the just 00:29:17.868 --> 00:29:20.127 fulfillment. 00:29:20.160 --> 00:29:25.847 With my babies, and they still are. The bigger the, the bigger they get, 00:29:25.880 --> 00:29:29.785 the bigger the fulfillment. 00:29:29.818 --> 00:29:33.377 Great, I don't think there's anything that we're missing. Do you feel like 00:29:33.410 --> 00:29:39.186 you wanna add anything else? 00:29:39.219 --> 00:29:44.676 The bigger our kids get, the bigger our joy becomes. 00:29:44.709 --> 00:29:51.666 I think that's true. I like August a lot more now. 00:29:51.699 --> 00:29:56.555 I just can't imagine that, uh. When I saw a couple of pictures of your 00:29:56.588 --> 00:30:01.035 studio in your studio of hard that hard labor, the one woman standing 00:30:01.068 --> 00:30:04.726 there looked like it had to have been a hard labor. Right, it was yours, 00:30:04.759 --> 00:30:10.868 right? Yeah. Um, OK, so I'm gonna go ahead and turn this off.