This is Boris Solis interviewing Bianca Parsons Costco for Creative Push
on August 13th at 1:11. OK, so we'll get started. So why don't you take me
through the The um picture book here. The first when she was born. This is
Annie? Mhm. Oh.
She was what, 6 pounds and 14 ounces. She was the largest of my 3. They
were all about the same weight. Is this all Annie? Yes, my goodness. Was
she an easy baby. Super easy. Good girl. I breastfed her for 2.5 years.
She was, um, the recorder was wrapped around her neck when she was born,
so they had to give her oxygen. They collapsed one of her lungs. She had
to stay in um. And the intensive care and the baby unit, so I would nurse
my milk and come in. She's like a feed her young lady now. She seems so
strong and healthy. Yeah, I'm shocked to hear that. OK, well, why don't we
get right into it then? Do you think that was good for sound levels? Can
you just tell me a little bit about yourself? And I'm gonna adjust my
seating. Well, I first got married when I was 15. And um I had uh. Two
birds, uh, with two little boys all natural and two healthy little boys.
The first one I didn't know much about. Having a baby, I was what, what,
16 when I had him. He um was 6 pounds 12 ounces, and um I was nursing him
, but I was so tiny myself that he was malnutritioned. He had his own skin
they could pick him up from his own skin because he was so thin. And the
2nd 1 I was better, and then the 3rd 1 was born when my 2nd son was 20
years old. So there was quite a gap between the pregnancies. And um All 3
pregnancies I only gained like 40 pounds. You don't have to rush through
these at all, so feel free to like really take your time. So where were
you? Were you when you were 15? Uh, was this like your true love that you
met, or was it like what was the experience of meeting this man? We were
born, we were in a family that we weren't allowed to have anybody come
into our home and we didn't go into any other other people's home. My mom
didn't have friends. Nobody ever came around. And um So when a young man
started. Courting me, you know, and then he'd start coming around, then my
dad would chase him away.
And uh
So he kept trying to come around so then my dad went to speak to his dad
and they got together and then they came to the conclusion that uh we're
gonna they're gonna marry us so we got married. I had never even been
kissed.
So had you um had feelings for him? Can I put this, I'm going to put this
under your watch just for a second because I don't want to have to edit
out that sounds, but, um, so were you, did you have affection for him? He
was like the fawns of the neighborhood, you know, and all the girls liked
him and I was just like a little homie, we weren't allowed to wear slacks
, we had dresses down below our knees. We didn't wear makeup, we were just
, you know, plain jeans and I was just couldn't believe that he would be
interested in me that plane.
I always thought. So, um, was, was he, was he Hispanic as well, he's um.
Mexican origin, both as parents. Mhm. So, um, so you got married and how
soon after that were you trying to have a baby? No, we didn't know much
about babies. My daughter, my sister and I thought we're gonna have babies
either from a stork or Santa Claus, as hard as that is to believe. We
didn't know anything. So at 15, you were getting married and you didn't
know how babies.
That's really interesting. So did you know about sex?
So what was that like? My first time, it was like, if you don't get off
from me, I'm gonna call my dad, you know, I'm gonna tell my dad. I didn't.
Just didn't know anything. And then did you, um, so then can you explain
how you kind of came of age? You know what I mean? Did you grow more
affectionate towards your husband and
It took a while. I was always so shy. I'd hide the dress. I. One time he
opened the shower curtain and I just cried and cried, couldn't believe
that he would dare, you know. Open the the curtain and see me. And um But
I've after on the 2nd 1, cause they were only 1 year apart, then I was.
More familiar to it was all OK and it was all part of being married and
but uh.
We didn't know anything. So your mother didn't tell you before you got
married that this is going to happen. Did you know anything about the male
anatomy? No. I didn't, I didn't, I thought that I wanted to have one son
that was 1 year old and I wanted to have a son that was gonna be 2 years,
you know, that was just a year apart. So I waited till he turned a year.
Not realizing that I had to wait 9 months pregnant, so they're a year and
9 months apart, not, uh, you know, cause I didn't even know that.
So but that was, but you had already been pregnant for 9 months with the
first one, but then you didn't, you didn't. I didn't, you know, imagine 15
, you have this little baby, you're trying to take care of it. You, I
didn't know anything. I didn't have my mother around to help me. Why?
Once I left home, I just never went back. Did you move away from home? You
know what, my mom had moved. With my two brothers. And then my sister and
I had stayed with my father at that time. Did you have um loving parents
and a good home life? We came from a divorced home. My mom and dad
divorced when I was 5. And we, we were raised with my mother, but we
always had my grandparents around, my grandpa Italian, and my grandmother
Spaniard from Madrid, Spain. So they were Pretty strict to them. But
didn't talk to us, that's the thing. Kids were in one room and the adults
were never allowed they would speak another language if we stepped into
the room. Were they religious?
So did you, do you think that kind of colored some of your um ignorance
towards sex and things like that that you know. Certain things were um
private or was there guilt or shame or anything? No guilt or shame. We
were raised very um Catholic. We were We were raised here in Arizona. I
was, we were born in Des Moines, Iowa, came here when I was 5. My brother
and sister suffered from asthma. And um
Then in the summer, they would either take us or send us to Central
America. The Italian side of the family has a big pasta factory where the
family all lives and works. And then uh we went to private Catholic
schools. And at one point we even lived in a nuns' convents up there. And
um Me, if they would have left me, I would have been divinely happy there.
And the peace and the serenity and just um. But when we came back and I
was of age and they started courting me and then it just all happened. But
it was religion was very important. You're fascinating. Oh, thank you.
That's really interesting. So, OK, so let's go back to the beginning then.
um, how soon after you were with your husband did you get pregnant? Right
away? Right away, I can't remember exactly when we got married, but right
away I had. I was pregnant My little boy, little boy. So then you, how was
pregnancy? Do you remember? Was it hot? Was it summertime you were
pregnant during the winter? Well, he was born June 27th. So I got a, a
taste of both, but it, it was, I loved being pregnant. I loved having that
the feeling of the little baby inside of me, the. Um, it was just The best
times of my life, I think, is when I've been pregnant. I don't think we've
been recording quite a bit and I don't think I've ever. say that that's
excellent. So when you, um, so you were having your period, you're 15,
you're having your period, you're having sex with your new husband, and
then all of a sudden your period stops and you think, what's wrong? and
then you go to the the doctor or how did you know you were pregnant? Well
, I was trying to finish school. High school. No, the 8th grade. Reason
being that since they we were between um another country and another
language and then coming here, excuse me then. We I don't know what year
you're supposed to get out of the 8th grade out of, but. I was 15, they
took me, um. Into the nurse's office, my home economics teacher. And uh
they're the ones that. You know, took me to a doctor and they told me that
I was pregnant. How did they know? Well, they could see my tummy growing.
I was in school. So did you not, did you just think you were gaining
weight? I don't, I don't recall.
Interesting. OK, so then you went to the doctor. What was that experience
like?
Did the doctor tell you like, OK, it's gonna be 9 months, you're going to.
No, didn't even explain anything, just that I was going to have a baby.
And so then I go and I'm all excited and I tell, you know, him and his
family that, you know, we're gonna have a baby. But even with that, I, we
were staying with his family and um I would stay in my room. When
everybody would leave, you know, go to sleep or whatever, then I would
come out. But I was very, um, just in there with my pregnancy by myself
and then with my tiny baby by myself. Did you not feel comfortable there,
or? We, that's how we were raised. We didn't go into others' homes and.
Strangers never came into our homes either. And we didn't have that much
family here. It's interesting. So, OK, so then you experienced pregnancy
and you loved it. Did you gain a lot of weight? No, you said you didn't
gain much weight. No, I just, I would hit the first one, not even 40
pounds.
Um, and then, so you, you had no knowledge of what to expect with labor
and delivery. Can you tell me a little bit about that, like how, you know
, when we went to the hospital.
I, um, with the with the pains, then we wound up going to the hospital and.
What I remember out of the whole pregnancy is that I had to go to the
bathroom so bad. And but when I went to the bathroom, it's when my water
broke. And um they took me in right away and. The labor pains has been, it
was just so quick. That My baby was born and he was so little.
So when you started having, so take me back to when you're at home, you're
at home and you're in that little room, and then you're having cramping,
you you not know what it is. Well, they, they had said that we would get
pain and cramping and then, you know, to have the baby. So I don't, it's
been such a long time. Like, you know, I can't even foresee the pain that
it was. But um
It's like having the appendicitis. I had an appendicitis. It was so bad,
the pain that I knew I had to go to the hospital. So, so you said the
labor was quick, so you were in the hospital. Did you lay on your back?
Can you kind of paint the picture for me what that experience was like? It
was just went in. They had the bed ready. They. Um, pains were coming so
fast, the baby was already ready to come. They put the little stilts for
my feet up there, and, uh, it seemed like with just a few, couldn't have
been an hour and my baby was born. Did you labor at home for long? Did you
have the cramping at home for a long time?
15 year old bodies are made for making babies. It's so true, isn't it?
It's the time to do it. So, OK, so that was your first child, and talk to
us about um when the baby emerged, was your husband there?
Not in the room. No, he wasn't, he wasn't in the room, um. Second
pregnancy either. They, I guess weren't allowed. Or he couldn't face it, I
don't know. Did they hand you Yes, they gave me my baby and they put him
on my chest and then right away I started, you know, nursing him. And um
It was just such a tiny good little boy. How much did he weigh? Uh, 6
pounds 12 ounces. And then you were saying something about the nursing,
was that an issue? Well, I was so malnutrition myself. I must have weighed
about 89 pounds. I was just a tiny little girl, and um You know, being
sheltered in the room, I wasn't getting the proper nutrition and um. But I
did know after the baby was born that I had to take him for checkups, and
then that's when they started giving me vitamins, but there was so much
little bit of milk coming out, I was actually starving the baby. So when
you were in your room, you weren't participating in regular meal times
with the rest of the family?
So did you eat in your room, or did you only eat after everyone left?
Sometimes I would eat in my room, you know, he'd bring me something and
then I would, you know, turn around and I would eat, but. It was just
difficult because it wasn't, I don't know, just had to have get used to.
So, OK, then you went to the doctor and they said your baby is
malnourished. And then what was the procedure after that? They started
giving me. Uh, vitamins so that I could, uh, get a little bit more milk.
He was actually constipated and he was peeing blood. That, that, uh, from
so ignorant, it was total ignorancey in my part because I didn't know.
Because no one told you. I mean, it's not your fault. So um. OK, so then
did he start to gain weight more quickly? Yes, the little guy was walking
at the. Before it was 9 months. What? Yeah, little guy was gone. That's
amazing. Very active, very, uh.
Healthy little boy. What is he doing now?
He lives at home with me.
He's my pride and joy. Yes, uh, we, um. His home in my in my home. I have
another home for my brother, so we all live on the same property. OK, so
then, um, so you raised him. That was great. And then you waited a year
and then you got pregnant and 9 months later you had your second son. Yes.
So tell me about that process. We you you decided to then use birth
control in between that year or? How did you not get pregnant for a year?
I never use your birth control. I've never used birth control. What all of
between all of my three kids. It's amazing that you have only 3 kids.
That's you're very lucky. Daddy only wanted. He really didn't want any
kids. He wasn't expecting. I wanted 12. I wanted 12 boys.
What were you thinking? I know football team.
OK, so OK, so then you, you know, get pregnant after a year, and this time
you know more that sex leads to pregnancy and this is what's going to
happen. Um, and were you really excited to be pregnant? Can you tell me
about like finding out now, did you know what it meant? Like did you know
you were pregnant or did someone else have to say? No, I went to the
doctor and I was a little more grown up by then and um.
I took care of myself with the prenatal vitamins. I was under doctor's
observation. I had a fat healthy little boy, only a couple more ounces
heavier than the other one, but he was a healthy little boy. The pregnancy
was Adorable. I love being pregnant. There were no complications. I also
had him within a really short time.
Maybe
Just a little bit longer than the first. Hm, an hour, hour and a half
about, that was it, and my baby was born with no problems. Well, OK, so
then, um, what happened after that? Well, then I. But I was 17 then with
the two boys. Then I became single when I was 25. Um, when my youngest boy
was uh 20 years old, well before he was 20 when I remarried um Donieta's
father. And um
Then unexpectedly I become pregnant. But I was overjoyed, and uh so then I
found out it was gonna be a little girl. But when you have boys and they
get to be their twenties, you're thankful you're gonna have a little girl.
And the pregnancy was great, um. The relationship was um.
Such a wonderful guy and then all of a sudden the attitude would change.
And um during the pregnancy, I just didn't want her to be born. I just
wanted to hold her inside of me. I wanted to keep her safe, um. Was he
abusive?
We worried for your safety? It was um.
Verbal abuse, yeah. And uh So
When the baby was gonna be born, I remember we went to um the pregnancy
was healthy and everything except for my mental state was a little charred.
And um she was 2 weeks late being born. And it was a snowstorm. And he
drives me to the hospital when I was in labor, parks in the parking lot,
way over there, away from the emergency room. I have to walk, holding my
belly, thinking my baby's gonna be born in the snow right there. Then when
I finally get to the door, they bring up a wheelchair and they're like,
why don't you bring out the front door. And we go in and uh. The delivery
was also quick, like my two boys. The only thing was that when she was
born, there wasn't any crying. And um they just took her away to the
corner. And she wasn't breathing. And they gave her oxygen when, like,
they didn't give me my baby where her dad was there with me holding my
hand. And we're both looking at each other, it's like, we didn't know, you
know, she was OK or not. And uh they gave her oxygen, they collapsed one
of her little lungs. So then they had to put a tube. And uh in her lung.
And um So she was, you know, right out of they didn't hand her to me. I
didn't get to hold her till, you know, they took her out of her little
incubation state, and she was there for, gosh, almost a couple of months.
And I would be going over there and, you know, taking my, I would nurse
her, I would take milk, so they could feed the baby when I wasn't there.
So they, they accidentally collapsed one of her lungs. How they, with the
oxygen, I mean, they don't really didn't explain, they just said that, you
know, her lungs had that um she wasn't breathing. So when they gave her
oxygen, one of her lungs collapsed.
So how were you emotionally at this time? Like how did you handle that
experience of not hearing the crying and well, it was shock. I thought
something had happened. I thought the first thing that came to my thought
is that she was gone, the baby's not crying, and they rushed her off and
then when they came back and said that you know she was OK, that the cord
had been wrapped around her neck and that she hadn't been breathing and.
Oh, I do remember something about the labor. During the labor, I turned
around and I told the doctor, I said, you know what, I've done this twice
before, go ahead and give me the the epidural.
I do remember asking for it this time around and. They didn't, they said I
was too far. You know, along to to get it. And then when the baby was born
, they told me that it was a good thing that I didn't. Because the baby
surely probably wouldn't wouldn't have survived.
Because when they give you the epidural, you're not pushing, you're not
anxious and you're not in that severe pain that you wanna just throw, you
know, you push it out, you're numbed.
And the reason I know that because I've been in the birthroom with my
niece. So they thought that the labor would take longer.
Interesting. So, um, gosh, so how often did you get to see her once a day
did you go? Oh, sometimes I would just stay there. I would stay around the
clock as long as they let me stay there. I stayed there with the baby. And
then when I had to go home to really rest, then I would go and I would
come back. So what was it like when you brought her home? Oh, we brought
her home in a little browns outfit. Tiny little thing, the cutest little
thing, and I remember my um stepson was uh sitting on the couch. And he
will just put. 9, 10, and the first thing I did is I handed over this
little bundle of joy and put it on his lap, having our little baby home,
it was just wonderful. She slept in the middle of Daddy and I
Till she was.
Gosh, maybe 5
But she was just always, she would sleep on top of daddy's chest, and I
was a little baby and I was right there with mommy was nursing her, you
know, 2.5 years I nursed the baby girl and carried her around. I had one
of the little pouches. I just didn't want to put her down.
What, what did she wear when she was born? Uh. 6 pounds.
16 ounces.
Yeah, they were small babies. Were you um heavier with the second one,
because you were so thin for the first and a little bit better for the
second, but for the 3rd, were you, did you have more weight on your bones
? I actually went up to 140 pounds pregnant for my daughter. Which was a
lot for you. Well, I'm.
From the first one from being like about 89 pounds, and then the second
son, I might have been maybe about 90, and then I was over 100 pounds when
I got pregnant from Maybe about 105, 8, 10, I don't know. But I was, I
remember I was 140 pounds that they first they thought I was gonna have
twins. I was so I was big, but I was a little baby. Did you lose the
weight quickly? Yes. From the breastfeeding or just from. Did you exercise
or do anything like that? I've exercised my whole life. My life, my
exercise in my sanity. What kind of exercise?
Yoga, now it's yoga. I never knew about yoga before, but I would, uh, yes
, I did. I remember with my two boys I got stuck between the two couches
doing yoga. But jogging in the mornings, uh, being in the gym, aquacise,
aerobics, whatever. That's great.
So, OK, so then, um, Tell me what her recovery once you took her home from
the hospital, was she like, you know, off oxygen, off tubes, like. She was
off of everything. She was just like a regular little baby just coming
home. So in the hospital, did they have to do some sort of therapy for her
chest, or how did they help with the breathing situation? Just while they
kept her there in the baby unit, you know, in a little glass bed, they
just kept taking the they gave her the air was in there and whatever the
doctors do, I don't know. Uh, I didn't, I wasn't one of those inquisitive
people because I didn't know better either, you know, what happened,
what's going on, what are you doing? Just waited for them to give me my
babies so I'm gonna take her home.
That's a long time to wait.
So, um, how was home life once you had the baby home? Was the marriage,
did it last, or was it, did it get? It. I stayed for 6 years.
I tried, I tried for 6 years. Yeah, after the 6 years, I just. One
incident that I just thought this is not good and I just packed her up and
I um. Moved out for a short time, then I came back home to Arizona. Yeah,
I understand. Um, my, we had a very verbally abusive, uh, stepfather, and
it was the one incident, you know, and then. That's it. A mother. It takes
that incident sometimes though that pushes it to make a decision about it
, right? Um, but is she still in touch with him now or anything? Yes. For
20 almost. 20 some years we've been waiting for daddy to come around,
still yet. It's tough.
So you've had some really um wonderful labor experiences and then one very
trying. I was indeed, indeed blessed uh-huh with my pregnancy. That's one
thing. With the religion, that's what I would do, get on my knees and pray
, let them have all the little fingers, let them be complete, let them be
whole and healthy. Mm. So, um, can you, um, Like reflect on your
experience with labor and delivery and um maybe think of uh a phrase or
word or something that kind of like describes your personal experience.
Of fulfillment.
During the whole pregnancy and.
Then having The after little mass on your arms, you know, the just
fulfillment.
With my babies, and they still are. The bigger the, the bigger they get,
the bigger the fulfillment.
Great, I don't think there's anything that we're missing. Do you feel like
you wanna add anything else?
The bigger our kids get, the bigger our joy becomes.
I think that's true. I like August a lot more now.
I just can't imagine that, uh. When I saw a couple of pictures of your
studio in your studio of hard that hard labor, the one woman standing
there looked like it had to have been a hard labor. Right, it was yours,
right? Yeah. Um, OK, so I'm gonna go ahead and turn this off.