So this is for Solis interviewing Daniel O'Connell on May 24th, 2016. I
was the last thing for Creative Push project. It is, I forgot, 124445.
I can't read any time. It's like I be like, OK, but it's like in that
moment I'm totally not listening. Yeah, that's like when I go to check the
time, but instead I just check text messages and I'm like, oh yeah, I
forgot to check what time it is. I'm at a party I'm getting introduced to
people, it's like I know I'm not even. Paying attention to what their name
is because I know I'm never gonna retain it. OK, let's do this. OK, so you
have 3 children. I have 3 children. I'm 35 years old. I have 3 children
who are now, um, 10, 8, and 5. I had my first child at the age of 25,
obviously if we do a little quick math there, um. So, um, I actually, uh,
it's kind of a little background. I got married pretty fast. I knew my now
ex-husband for 3 months before we got married. And um I was 23 and we got
married on my 24th birthday. And we, he was, so he was 35 and he was, you
know, like 4-ish months into our marriage. He was like, oh, we should try
and have kids and I was like, OK, well, I guess now or whatever, but you
know it probably takes like maybe 6 months to a year to get pregnant, so
great, I'll go off birth control. So then I was pregnant a few weeks later
with Quinn. Um, it was just interesting. I mean, I look back on my life
now and it was like no big deal at the time. I'm looking back, I'm like,
OK, I'm married to a man I didn't really know very well, pregnant, 24, um
, I mean, really most of my friends that. I went to school with and that
were my best friends in college and postgraduate. I mean they still don't
have children or they're just having their first or second and they're
toddlers babies so I was really kind of out of my age group, um, even when
I met friends at playdates after I had the kids, they were all at least 5
to 10 years older than me. So like most of my friends are good friends are
older than me. Yeah. So
had you just always wanted to be a mom? I always wanted to be a mom. Like
I always knew. That was gonna be and it's really funny because that when I
was younger, even when I was a kid I knew like I will be a mom and I
wanted to be a mom so I was super excited now that I'm older it's almost
like I was meant to have the kids young because now that I'm older it's
almost laughable because I'm like I have so much more to give than just to
be a mom even though I, I mean. Whatever I need like we're doesn't, I
don't does not need to be said that I know that my like greatest
accomplishment is my children, blah blah blah, but like I also look at
myself as like a more like developed and interesting human being rather
than just a caretaker of children. So it's just kind of funny to me now.
So did you, was it just like total love at first sight or were you feeling
the biological need no, I mean, I was 23 years old. No, I was like love at
first sight. It was so love at first sight. It was just like a whirlwind,
you know, total whirlwind. Oh my gosh. Um, so then, so I was pregnant and
I have actually did have one friend who got pregnant in college and, um,
to her long-term boyfriend. So I did have one friend who I had had who had
kids already, and she had done a home birth with her second. So I just
thought that was amazing. Her experience sounded so amazing and it was so
different from her first birth birth experience. So I was like, oh, I'm
having a home birth, and my husband was like, no, you're not. I don't feel
comfortable with that. So we went back and forth a lot and I was like,
look, like this is my body this is my experience. Looking back on that now
actually I think I made a bad decision. I think I should have been more
mature and realized that like, OK, I'm his wife and I'm having this child
is there middle grounds, um, but he was actually really stubborn and not
really educating himself on the home birth process, um. Yeah, and I was
really stubborn, you know, I was really strong willed. I was like, this is
my body, it is capable. I'm doing a home birth. Um, so that was, you know
, but looking back, I think, OK, I could have maybe handled myself a
little differently.
So, um, you know, when I started, I was, when I got pregnant I was 24
years old and I had not had any experience with friends being pregnant. I
was very casual about the pregnancy. I didn't know all these horror
stories of things that can go wrong. I've never had a miscarriage. I
didn't have any friends who had a child with birth defects. I just knew my
child was gonna come out perfect. I wasn't worried. My doctor told me like
, sure, go ahead and drink some wine if you'd like go ahead and. You know
, if you know a sushi place that you have never gotten sick at, like,
you're probably fine. You know, just be careful. So she was just gave me a
more casual perspective. That's, this is my doctor before I decided to go
with the midwife. So I was just like, cool, you know, um, sure, I'll just
be casual about it and I, um, so I was pregnant, I started, I was tiny. I
was super tiny then. And so I just started packing on the pounds super
fast, like, wow. Um, like I gained when I reached, so I probably, I think
I weighed like 120 pounds when I got pregnant and I um stopped weighing
myself at 185 cause I was like pretty much thinking. I'm overseeing this
scale go up and that was really like a week before her birth. So, um, so
anyhow, the, the pregnancy was pretty uneventful except I was a big
chubster and it was really uncomfortable in my body, but other than that,
the pregnancy was very healthy. I found out I was having a little girl and
I was really excited because I wanted to have two girls like my sister and
me and um.
So we were prepping for the home birth. I did a Bradley class. I had a
midwife. I did not have a doula. I think a doula would have been great,
and as I'm explaining my birth experience, I will tell you why that would
have been amazing. But um, you know, it was, it, it was an interesting
time in my life too. I was young. I felt a lot of distance from my
ex-husband. My husband at the time I felt a lot of like disconnection
where I wanted connection and I don't think it was about the birth I think
it was just about his personality and I didn't know him and his inner
struggles and demons because we didn't know each other very well so I look
back at that time as being a little uh lonely.
But I'm really exciting too, and I have a close relationship with my
family and I was a little bit oblivious as well, so that probably worked
in my favor. So did you enjoy being pregnant? Were you like enjoying that
whole experience or was the weight like the weight for me was hard for me
psychologically. The weight gain was really hard for me. The weight gain
was really hard for me. I was used to being, I mean, I now weigh probably
like almost 20 pounds more than I did when I got pregnant, which, like
whatever, but. I still consider myself a small person and so um. It was
really hard because I'd always been a small person and to just feel huge
and have people comment on it, even my husband made some comment. Um, like
, wow, you're gonna have to get back on the treadmill after the baby's
born, and I just was like, uh, I'm fucking pregnant. What I mean, I, you
know, and, and so there was also a lot of struggle to thinking like, OK,
am I doing something wrong? Am I eating too much? I mean, now that I've
had actually 4 pregnancies, only 3 that, you know, where I had children,
um, I know that my body when I start having the pregnancy hormones, no
matter what I do, I gain weight. And very close to the same amount, so it
was just like, OK. But for my first pregnancy, it was definitely um
shifted my self perspective, um, and I got a horrible haircut, which like
, was like the nail in the coffin of like self-image, so. Like put my self
image in the coffin and like gave a little prayer and said goodbye till I
was like 6 months postpartum, so.
So that was really difficult. The haircut was really difficult.
Cause I have cute hair and it was bad. It was so bad.
It was like a Jennifer Aniston horror show, like, oh God, OK, moving on
from the haircut. So, um, Quinn was due on Christmas Day, so that was also
funny because everywhere I went people, first of all, I was 6 months
pregnant and they'd say, oh, is the baby coming any day? No, I'm only 6
months. Oh wow, you're so big. I've got those comments all the time then
um. Also, oh my gosh, Christmas Day, and I was like, oh poor poor baby,
you know, all this stuff, all these comments, which I mean, I think people
just mostly wanna have something to say, so I never took anything
personally. I never got too annoyed with people. I was like, OK, moving on.
But yeah, I was also kind of like, wow, that's a poor kid. But I thought
it was actually exciting to have my due date on Christmas and I was hoping
she'd come early because I wanted her to be a Sagittarius. Um, and I also
was ginormous. So leading up to, um, as I was getting bigger, my midwife
actually told me one day during, um, a checkup, she said, you know, you
are really small. I don't know, you might end up in a C-section. I was
like, oh, what? And she, I go, I think I was like, I'm sure it'll be fine.
And then as my hormones start kicking, she goes, No, I think that you're
, you'll relax enough you'll be able to get the baby out. Um, so, um,
leading up to Christmas, I, you know, I was having tons of Braxton Hicks
and Christmas Day, her due date, we, we had spent Christmas Eve with my
parents and Christmas Day we spent with Dennis's parents and that. It
wouldn't there there were no grandchildren, so we spent the day and then
decided, and then, you know, late afternoon, let's go bowling. So we go
bowling and I could not bowl to save my life and I was like pissed. Like I
don't get moody very often, but I was just like, I'm sitting here, you
take my turn, like this is bullshit that I'm bowling right now, can't even
stand on my feet. I am a bowling ball on toothpicks. So we went home and I
remember we went to bed and it was right before 9 o'clock, and I didn't
have any indication of anything. Well, I woke up at 11 exactly, like maybe
11:03, and I felt really strong contractions. And I wake up Dennis. I said
, I'm having, I think I might be in labor. And so what he done all the
bread like classes and bless his heart because he didn't believe in any of
this stuff. He's like, No, no, no, remember they said if you think you're
in labor, you're not, so go back to sleep. And I was like, OK, OK, yeah. I
was like, gosh, it's so I just, I think I should call him. No, we're not
calling the midwife. You know, I mean he was sweet, but he was just like,
no, you're not in labor. There's no way you're in labor right now. Like
we're just awake, right? All of a sudden I run to the bathroom and I'm
like puking and shitting myself at the same time and he's like, um, I, I
think you might be in labor, yeah. So I get everything out over and over
again. Didn't make a mess. I was very clean about it, which was good. Um.
And we call the midwife and she comes over and. And we get the big, um,
we get a pool set up, um, you know, an inflatable pool in our living room
and it's a lot, you know, it's the middle of the night, so she comes over
and I wasn't, I think it was only 3 centimeters. So the reason I think I
needed a doula was because my husband just fell asleep on the armchair and
the midwife just sits there. She's not a doula, you know, she is there to
like for more of a medical purpose of the delivery. And um I kind of
expected somebody to be there like rubbing my back and of course I really
wanted my mom, but my husband was like no I don't want any parents to come
and so you know that that's also something I've learned about myself. I've
been very accommodating my past. I should've been like I need my mom
should have I wish I had. She did come in the morning but throughout the
night I was basically alone while other people slept, um, and I just would
get checked checked and I was in the pool and I, I don't have really
strong memories of. The sensation. I have a high pain tolerance and I have
an ability to go inside when I'm in pain and just like breathe and so I
don't have a strong. I was very quiet. I know I was very quiet. I think
that's why everybody was sleeping, so nobody knew I was struggling so hard
, so it was just quiet. um, so that was the the night by 8:30 in the
morning, um, my mom did come, I guess. I do remember that we called her
and she came over so it was my mom, my midwife and her midwife assistant
and um my husband, and by 8:30 it was 10 centimeters, so I was allowed to
start pushing. And um on top of that, um, Quinn was, um, why am I blanking
on the term sunny side up, so I was having back labor. So it was a really
painful labor and um so 8:30 so OK you can start pushing. Uh, the baby,
which I pushed for 2.5 hours to make a long 2.5 hours short, she wouldn't
descend at all, like would not come out of the cervix. So at one point I
had both midwives with both of their hands reaching inside, trying, I
don't know how they did it, but they did. Trying to open up my cervix and
say, OK, we're holding your cervix open now push, push, and I pushed and I
pushed and she couldn't even her head just wouldn't even like I just she
wouldn't fit out of me long story short is she wouldn't fit out of my body
which we have a history of babies not fitting out of my mom's side of the
family's body so in some ways no big surprise. Um, so then the midwife
said, um, we, we have to, you have to have a C-section. Like I'll let you
fortunately the baby's fine because she's still up high, she's happy and
my water didn't even break till I started pushing with their hands inside
of me. So that's how up in there she was like her body was just like, no,
we're just happy in here. So fortunately the baby was fine. I was not fine.
I was uh very tired and very dehydrated.
And, and so the midwife called her emergency doctor on call. She has, she
had a doctor at John C. Lincoln, the old, um, location, 19th or 19th
Street. I forget exactly where it was, but, um, she had this doctor that
would always do her births for her if they were an emergency, and she was
um really sick. So she called another doctor who was also.
Not supposed to be working, but he agreed to come in, which was super nice.
So he came in and so I get to the, the, um, she said, OK, we have a
doctor coming. I need you to get in the shower, put on a bathrobe, put you
in the car. So the drive to the hospital, which was like maybe 20 minutes
, felt like 5 hours because I was going from um. Hot flashes, extreme hot
flashes, like I've never experienced in my life to like flu-like feverish
chills. And so she was putting on the heat, putting on the air, and I was
just in excruciating pain, so. Get to the um I think we actually just were
in the emergency room maybe. I don't even, I don't know. Don't ask me. I
was out of it and um the nurses tried to get the line in me because they
couldn't get me the, the, um, I wasn't gonna do an epidural because I I
wasn't gonna be there they were gonna let me try and have her naturally
there but um what is it, the spinal, the spinal. So they couldn't get me
the medicine until they got the fluid in me because I was so dehydrated,
obviously, and that they have to do that anyway for all the medicine. So I
, I think they tried like 7 times so they finally called the
anesthesiologist and all these hematomas all in my arm. Finally he even
tried a few times. He finally got it in like, thank you.
Got the spinal. I mean, they said we're gonna, OK, so here's the plan,
we're gonna give you the spinal. We're gonna hope that once that kicks in
, your body relaxes. We're gonna let you try once on your own. Then we'll
try once with a vacuum, and we'll also try with the forceps if you want to.
And if none of those work, you are straight in the OR and that baby's
coming out because she's OK, but we gotta get this baby out of you. I said
, OK, let's try it. So I got the spinal and the doctor, oh gosh, I was
just like, I love you. What is your name? Like everybody says that, right
? He's like, it's Mowada. I was like, because I'm probably not gonna name
the baby after you, but like I do love you. You're so kind to me.
So then we um.
So I get to push. Nothing happens. We try to suction, nothing happens. And
then the doctor said, would you like me to try the forceps? Here are the
risks. I said, Well, how comfortable are you? He says, I am totally
comfortable with the forceps. I know you're, I won't even make a mark on
your baby. So I said, OK, if you feel comfortable, then I would like to
try that. Yeah, no, she's still to me then budge the slightest bit. So we
went straight to the OR. And they pulled out my almost 9 pound chunker.
She was 8 pounds, 12 ounces on her the day after her due date. And yeah,
she was perfect. They
let us know like were your parents there? So yeah, I don't remember very
well. I believe my mom and my sister, I think everybody was there. I don't
think his family was there, but I know my mom was there. And I don't
remember honestly, if my sister was there yet or if my dad was there yet,
I know after she was born basically. Or as she was being born, everybody
was showing up at the hospital and waiting, his parents, his brother, I
think it's, yeah, everybody was in town, his sister too because it was
Christmas. So basically everybody's there waiting to meet Quinn. Who we
hadn't named it who was supposed to be Kate. So, um, yeah, so then I just
, I mean that it's very hard for for me to remember her C-section. I
remember bits and pieces, but I was exhausted. And so, but I do remember
we went back into recovery and they washed her up and put her in a
stocking and wheeled her into me and I got rid of that stocking. What,
what is wrong with me? I'm like such a perger that when I was like, I
don't need this, and now Quinn's like, where's the stocking they brought?
I, I don't know where that stocking is. I'm so sorry, so sorry. So, and I
just remember she, you know, the whole family was in there and I'm not shy
, so I just pulled out my shirt and she starts nursing very well right
away and um. I was very happy with my birth experience. I was happy that I
was able to try it the way I wanted and um. Yeah, I was very happy with
everything except for I wish that I was more connected with my husband, so
that would have meant a lot to me if I had. The partner, I hope he doesn't
listen to this. OK. I mean, we're not married anymore, but I still feel
like that would hurt his feelings. Well, some people have that personality
type. It's it's not a dis on them necessarily. My dad's really kind of
like emotionally removed too, and it's just like the way he is, um. But
once the baby was born, did you feel like, was he like, Oh, you're the
mother of my child, because sometimes it's like seeing you with the baby
and all that beautiful. It was like more, it's not like he like, yeah, he.
So hard to explain his personality. He can just be really withdrawn and
he struggles with depression and so I never connected with him. I mean
there were times when I would really connect with him, but like at the
times when I really wanted to, I felt like I wasn't able to because it's
not like something he could just bring whenever he wanted. So, um. Yeah,
at that stage, were you having any like, is this, is this like the man for
me or were you just like still like so engaged and I was so engaged and
yeah, yeah, yeah, I was just young and like, OK. And I was like, I think
just also a little oblivious. It's like I knew it was there, but I didn't
really want to be like, I don't like this. I wasn't at a point in my life
where I would say, I don't like this. I You know, later on, even in the
marriage, I would say like I'm feeling disconnected. I'm not feeling
fulfilled emotionally, but I still wasn't. Really standing up for what I
needed. And that's not even why we got divorced, but once we got we're
getting divorced or once I found out certain things that were happening in
my marriage, I was willing to say, oh yeah, I didn't like any of that. So
that actually didn't work for me. So the fact that you're doing this gives
me the ability to take myself out of the marriage and not. Feel like I'm
because I don't know, I guess I just always felt like this is my choice.
I'm gonna make the best of it. This is my family. I married him, this is
my family. I didn't really see it as an option to say, uh, I actually
don't want to be married to you because you don't feel like family to me
because you're not connecting to me in the way that I want to connect
spiritually, so. How was the, were you prepared like um emotionally, but
also in terms of your like education about what a C-section was and like
what the recovery was and all of that? Um,
No, I mean, not, I don't know that part didn't really, I feel like I
studied.
So much about birthing that it was more like, oh, the baby. And I was just
assumed like wing it, and I didn't realize how hard that was going to be
and just sleeping like I never read anything about baby sleep. It's just
my parents kind of winged it and they did a great job. I just assumed I
would and breastfeeding, of course, would come easily and fortunately it
did though, looking back, I now know that the reason I was a bloody mess
while nursing was because she probably had a latch issue which she
overcame eventually, but you know, I didn't know, like the other kids, it
never hurt, so. It's just funny. I also think my first had reflux, and,
and that's why she was fussy and spit up so much. Well I just had no idea
. I just thought, OK, she's, this is how she is, you know, and I think
things could have been a lot easier if I had been a little bit more
educated or had friends going through the same thing. Yeah, because you
don't have a standard of normality, let's say, to kind of bounce things
off of. So how, how was the scar and all that? Were you able to hold,
stand up and feel comfortable? Yeah, the recovery from my first C-section
was really difficult because I've been through such a painful labor, and I
mean it wasn't particularly long, I don't think. I don't think have
starting at 11 and having the baby out. I mean, so it was the baby out by
like 1:30 the next day. So that's, you know, what is that 14 hours ish. I
mean that's not a really long labor at all. Um, but I think just that like
, uh, how that she was back labor and I had no medication and like the
extreme dehydration and all that, that like if you're in a hospital or if
you don't have the baby flipped the wrong way, that you're able to um
manage everything differently and I just wasn't able to manage. Those
things are the recovery from the C-section is a little bit like a blur,
but it wasn't horrible. Yeah, it was fine. I was really young. I recovered
fast. I actually lost the weight really fast, um. And really adjusted well
to being a mom, you know, I mean, I didn't sleep a lot. I was tired and it
was a big adjustment, but looking back, I think maybe being younger and
not so, I think now about having a newborn, I think it would be really
hard for me, um, especially if I'd never had kids before, you know, I just
think, oh my gosh, my world is ending, and back then. It was like, I've
been an adjustment for my whole life basically, you know, you get out of
high school, I go to college, I study overseas here, then I study overseas
here, then I move here and I'm moving all around. Oh, and then I get
married, it's like everything happens so fast, so it's just no big deal.
Now I've been living in the same place for a long time and, you know, the
same job. I just think, oh my gosh, yeah, that would just rock my world
now. Yeah. So, um, OK, so then you have your baby. Did you, were you guys
trying for your second whenever you got pregnant? So um. I breastfed Quinn
, um, almost exclusively for a year because she had a real strong gag
reflex and wouldn't really eat solids too well, but I mean, I was planning
to breastfeed. Anyway, I just wasn't planning to be exclusive for that
long. But I also thought that was really good for her. Um, when she was
about 15 months, I still have not got my cycle back, and my husband was
like, we should try and have another baby. I'm like, really already? I
don't know if I'm ready, and then he convinced me, like, let's have a
second. I'm like, yeah, that'd be good because I mean I do want them like
2 years apart and I do have to like stop breastfeeding and get my period
back and, you know, all that stuff. So I weaned Quinn at 15 months, got
one period and got pregnant. Yeah, I never had any waiting time, uh, ver.
Um, Casey's, uh, pregnancy was also very easy, um, somewhat uneventful. I
, um, tried to manage my weight better, but there was no helping that
cause because it was actually nothing I was doing. So I, I exercised more
consistently with different like, uh, with Quinn's pregnancy, I just did
all yoga, and this pregnancy I did weights and cardio and yoga. And watch
what I ate didn't help. At her 20 week ultrasound they found out that her
umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. So, um, they, I just had to do
two non-stress tests a week and it was kind of stressful. So, um, can you
explain what a non-stress test. It's OK. So when you go, it's you go into
the doctor's office and you sit in a room and you try and sit still, which
is not easy with a 1.5 year old that's you're watching. It's like, Mom,
mom, do this, this, so you try and sit still and you try and get the baby
to be still. So they can measure their heart and just make sure their
heart rate is not different or under stress. So you do that and it's for
like 20 minutes, but I usually have to stay for like 45 minutes to an hour
to get like something consistent enough that they could actually see what
she was doing because she my my babies were always active and then I also
had a toddler in the room. It was crazy. So, um, about 4 weeks before
Casey was due, she was due December 8th, so really the same time of year
that that Quinn was doing, and Quinn would be 2 on December 26th. Casey
was due December 8th, so the beginning of November, I was in for a checkup
and a non-stress test and everything, you know, she, the baby looked fine
, but my cervix was already to a 3. And my doctor said, oh, I don't like
this. She did not want me to go into labor because, um, because of the
cord and because just the risks associated with it, because I actually had
asked my doctor. You know, backtrack just a little bit that I had asked
her about doing a VBAC and based on, basically she said, you know, there's
a 1% chance, 1 in 100 chance that you could um tear your uterus and it
would put your life at risk and the baby's life at risk. You know, 1% when
you hear that doesn't sound like a lot, but when you say 1 in 100 and you
think about all the people who are pregnant and babies being born, that
sounded like a lot to me. So, and also because it wasn't like um she was
breached, so we did a C-section or it was like the baby was just too big.
For my body. She wasn't too big, just too big for my body. So I decided
to do the scheduled C-section, which had been scheduled for 2 weeks before
her due date, so at the end of November.
So, um, anyway, I went back in a few days later and, and she was she was
just gonna ask the hospital if they would, she called the hospital, she
said, Can I deliver her? And they said, no, you cannot. She's, you know,
she's a little over 3 weeks due and you can't deliver her just because
she's at 3. But I went back in a few days later and I was showing on the
non-stress test just more contractions. The baby was still fine and I I'd
gone to 3.5. So she called the hospital and they said, yeah, you can
schedule her for tomorrow, which was the day before Thanksgiving. So I
went in and I had Casey the day before the evening before Thanksgiving. I
was supposed to have her in the morning, but they kept pushing back my
time to come in because of lots of babies decide to be born that day. And
that was, um, again, apart from the fact that I wish I was more connected
with my husband, it was a beautiful experience. I loved it. I loved going
in there and the recovery from a C-section without being in labor is um
not so bad at all. And I loved, I just loved the experience of her being
born and she was a perfect doll baby. She was 3 weeks early and she was 7
pounds 11 ounces. Um, so they, they told me she would have been well over
9 pounds if she had gone full term. So she was a really big girl.
And she was just came out like the prettiest little baby you'd ever seen.
And the best part about that birth experience was that it was
Thanksgiving, so all the families had a lot of plans. So I did have
visitors, but nobody stayed with me all day. So on Thanksgiving Day, I had
almost a whole day to myself with the baby in the room and the hospital
was really quiet. Because nobody was scheduling C-section, so it was just
anybody who had to have a baby. And I really enjoyed that. It's one of my
favorite memories of having a child is having that time alone in the
hospital and you're just kind of like safe and quiet and nobody's bugging
you, and I loved it. I love being in the hospital too, actually. Yeah, I
loved it. I had a great experience every time in the hospital. I, I want
to get home and I did not mind. I'm with you. I was happy to stay there
for as many days as I could because you had that support that support,
yeah. And especially knowing with Casey that I'd go home and be taking
care of an almost 2 year old was also like, no, you just, you need to keep
me here as long as you keep me here, of course, both those first two
births I didn't stay in the hospital very long. I was sent home pretty
early, um. Any other questions about that one? So was um the. You know,
nursing and everything was fine also super easy. That's great.
Yeah, she was easy, she was fine. I mean, lost weight, gained weight, um.
Yeah. Was it a different, um, since you had already been through the
C-section and now you kind of like knew what the procedure was, did you
have a different sort of mindset going into that or? Yeah, it was, it was
way more peaceful because um
Well, first of all, I was at a different hospital. I was at one of the
Scottsdale hospitals, so that was nice. And it was planned and I was with
the doctor that I know. All of that felt just much more peaceful and also
the recovery from it, it's like I didn't, it was because I'd had the
experience of having a C-section. You know, after a strenuous labor, I
think having a normal C-section seemed like literally no big deal to me,
which is hysterical to me because it is a huge deal, a huge deal, but it
was just in comparison. I thought this is cake, such cake. Some people, um
, when we've interviewed people that had C-sections, we talk about having
a reaction to the medication or the drugs or feeling like they're shaking
or having issues just like having um enough control over their muscles to
hold their baby to nurse afterwards any of that. No, that's great, yeah, I
know, it was great. I mean sure I had some effects, but I don't, I don't
know, I don't remember that being something that bothered me at all. I
just remember being just really happy. That's awesome. Really happy. So
then I just cried almost the first time. Um, this is kind of funny. I
think it was with Quinn. They're like, OK, we're gonna be taking.