WEBVTT 00:00:02.930 --> 00:00:04.930 I totally just turned my phone off. 534. 00:00:06.969 --> 00:00:13.245 Stop it. Ok. So this is Boris Solis interviewing Darlene Reed on June 15th 00:00:13.278 --> 00:00:21.278 , 2016 at 5:34 p.m. for the creative push project. Ok, so, um set us up, 00:00:22.158 --> 00:00:28.276 take us back to the conception of the first birth. Um the father, you know 00:00:28.309 --> 00:00:32.076 , all of that. 00:00:32.109 --> 00:00:38.996 Um Well, I was uh 16 when I met um my kid's dad, um and I got pregnant 00:00:39.029 --> 00:00:47.029 with my oldest daughter at 17. Um and I had her at 18. Um, it was a uh 00:00:47.959 --> 00:00:55.057 pretty easy birth but she, at all my kids, I had to um deliver her by 00:00:55.090 --> 00:00:58.695 Cesarean because she had pooped in the water and I'm gonna, I'm gonna 00:00:58.728 --> 00:01:02.585 pause, I'm going, we're going to slow it down, slow it down. Ok? Because 00:01:02.618 --> 00:01:05.846 you have a totally fascinating, 00:01:05.879 --> 00:01:09.055 ok. You know, meeting 00:01:09.088 --> 00:01:12.805 story with you and your husband. So you want a little bit more of that in 00:01:12.838 --> 00:01:18.477 there instead of going into the bed, sets it up where you are mentally 00:01:18.510 --> 00:01:22.766 while pregnant and all of that and emotionally. Oh, no, that's no problem. 00:01:22.799 --> 00:01:30.799 Ok. So I met him at 17. I mean 16 and had her at 17, let me get my 00:01:31.689 --> 00:01:36.676 stories mixed up here. Ok. Ok. I met him when I was 16, got pregnant with 00:01:36.709 --> 00:01:41.986 my oldest daughter at 17, had her at 18. Um, and because I was so young 00:01:42.019 --> 00:01:48.275 when I met him, um, he did not meet my parents at all. In fact, um, I, I 00:01:48.308 --> 00:01:55.486 was pregnant already, uh, when they found out about him. Um, and our 00:01:55.519 --> 00:02:00.346 relationship, uh was good. Um You know, I, I was, I was so young and he 00:02:00.379 --> 00:02:05.217 was, of course, 10 years older than I am. I mean, was at the time I should 00:02:05.250 --> 00:02:10.396 say. And um he was just, I, I loved him. I, I loved his personality. He 00:02:10.429 --> 00:02:16.225 was so fun. Um, so outgoing and just, just more or less my best friend. 00:02:16.258 --> 00:02:21.005 Can you tell me about when you first saw him when I first saw my husband? 00:02:21.038 --> 00:02:26.677 In fact, we met twice at the same place. Now, the first time we had met, 00:02:26.710 --> 00:02:30.967 um, you know, it didn't go so well. You know, we met, he called me a few 00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:35.737 times and we kept not being able to connect um about a year or so later, I 00:02:35.770 --> 00:02:41.536 went to the same place and saw him there again. And um and so it was 00:02:41.569 --> 00:02:45.677 unfortunate that he didn't really remember me and then to make my story 00:02:45.710 --> 00:02:48.646 believable, I had to tell him about this car he drove, which was like a 00:02:48.679 --> 00:02:53.427 dukes of hazard car, the door on the passenger side didn't open. Um, and 00:02:53.460 --> 00:02:56.275 so he's like, oh my God, really? And he actually gave me a ride and I 00:02:56.308 --> 00:02:59.396 can't believe you remember that. But anyway, so, um, upon that second time 00:02:59.429 --> 00:03:05.436 of us meeting, um we hit it off and it was no more separation uh from that. 00:03:05.469 --> 00:03:10.335 Um, can you mess up with like how old you were? And how old he was? I was 00:03:10.368 --> 00:03:18.368 16 and he was 26. Dirty I always see some dirty old man. Um and um once I 00:03:18.899 --> 00:03:22.666 got pregnant um with my daughter because I knew I got pregnant by an older 00:03:22.699 --> 00:03:28.427 man, I I really was afraid um because he does have an older daughter and 00:03:28.460 --> 00:03:31.827 um and to be honest, he did not want any more kids and I was just like, oh 00:03:31.860 --> 00:03:37.717 my gosh and so telling him that I was so afraid um but um he took it well 00:03:37.750 --> 00:03:44.737 , he took it well. Um and of course I lived with his, his parents. Um it 00:03:44.770 --> 00:03:50.457 was nice because he, they have a big family. Um he had uh it was seven 00:03:50.490 --> 00:03:54.767 siblings and um and I was blessed enough to know all of them. Um we all 00:03:54.800 --> 00:03:58.835 got along well um and it was just, it was just good and it was just so 00:03:58.868 --> 00:04:04.457 different from my family at home because I was an only child and my other 00:04:04.490 --> 00:04:07.467 siblings was all gone. And of course I, I just, I, I'm just like, oh my 00:04:07.500 --> 00:04:10.457 God, here this, this is family. They're so big, there's always stuff going 00:04:10.490 --> 00:04:16.406 on and I just, I really loved it. Um And so uh after I had my kid, my 00:04:16.439 --> 00:04:21.046 first kid, um we continued to stay there at his parents' house. Um a 00:04:21.079 --> 00:04:24.866 little bit after that, we end up getting my, our place um our first 00:04:24.899 --> 00:04:29.967 apartment on 35th Avenue in Osborne. Never forget that place. Boy. And um 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:35.666 then I had got pregnant with my uh son, my oldest son, which they're 00:04:35.699 --> 00:04:42.515 almost two years apart. Um That pregnancy was very interesting was of 00:04:42.548 --> 00:04:46.075 course not planned. Are you talking about your son? Now, talk about myself 00:04:46.108 --> 00:04:50.656 , separate the birth out, ok. Separate them out. So stick on this first 00:04:50.689 --> 00:04:55.596 one, the first one and then go from there. 00:04:55.629 --> 00:05:01.616 I mean, so I'm very fascinated in the idea of a 16 year old or a 17 year 00:05:01.649 --> 00:05:06.825 old giving birth. What that experience is. Did anyone prepare you for it? 00:05:06.858 --> 00:05:10.765 Did his parents? Did your mom? I mean, your mom didn't even know you have 00:05:10.798 --> 00:05:16.627 to really give more information. Ok. Now, no, I was not prepared. I pretty 00:05:16.660 --> 00:05:21.296 much I was actually it was me and him. Of course, once the baby was born, 00:05:21.329 --> 00:05:27.567 they all came there to the hospital and was just blown away. Um But with 00:05:27.600 --> 00:05:33.846 this kid, um uh even though me, um us being together while I was pregnant 00:05:33.879 --> 00:05:38.687 or whatever, once I had this child, it became everybody's baby because, um 00:05:38.720 --> 00:05:44.836 , because I'm the youngest child and, and this was pretty much the first, 00:05:44.869 --> 00:05:47.645 you know what? I take that back because my sister has kids too. Um, well, 00:05:47.678 --> 00:05:52.366 my first kid and my o my other two niece, nieces and nephews, they were 00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:56.887 older. So she was kind of like the baby doll in the family. So it was 00:05:56.920 --> 00:06:02.145 times where she went from my, um from sis my two sister's house to my mom 00:06:02.178 --> 00:06:05.416 and dad's house. And then me, it was just like it was just, she became 00:06:05.449 --> 00:06:10.137 like the family baby. Um So um she, I can honestly say my oldest daughter 00:06:10.170 --> 00:06:13.075 had got so much love. Oh my gosh, she got so much love and was just 00:06:13.108 --> 00:06:17.705 spoiled. Oh my God. Um Just to no end um because she was the youngest at 00:06:17.738 --> 00:06:22.296 the time. So she, she was spoiled. Um and they just absolutely loved her. 00:06:22.329 --> 00:06:29.877 Um and, and from birth all the way to now and she just turned 29. She was 00:06:29.910 --> 00:06:33.666 an awesome baby and just an awesome person. Now, to be honest, I, I mean, 00:06:33.699 --> 00:06:39.187 I, I thank God that God gave me such a wonderful daughter. Um And lucky me 00:06:39.220 --> 00:06:43.825 , I had a Cesarean and I got out of the, the, the natural birth, but I 00:06:43.858 --> 00:06:47.156 experienced it later on down the line. But um it was, it was kind of nice 00:06:47.189 --> 00:06:52.176 um experiencing um you know, childbirth uh with her. Um, she was a good 00:06:52.209 --> 00:06:59.656 kid. So when you, um, found out you were pregnant, you're 16. Did you miss 00:06:59.689 --> 00:07:04.026 the period? I did, I missed a period. I did. And, um, and, and at that 00:07:04.059 --> 00:07:10.395 time because I missed a bit, I didn't know. Um, so upon that second month 00:07:10.428 --> 00:07:13.666 me not having to pay, I went to the doctor and that's when they had, you 00:07:13.699 --> 00:07:17.805 know, the doctor told me that, that I was pregnant. My heart was beating 00:07:17.838 --> 00:07:24.226 so fast. I was just like, oh my gosh, I got this older man. He does not 00:07:24.259 --> 00:07:29.627 want any more kids. Oh my gosh. But you know what, at that given moment, 00:07:29.660 --> 00:07:32.515 if needed be, I would have raised, I was just had, have been a single mom 00:07:32.548 --> 00:07:35.817 because I was not going to uh, uh, get my child away and I was not gonna 00:07:35.850 --> 00:07:39.507 abort her. I was not gonna do it as I was so prepared um, to be uh, a 00:07:39.540 --> 00:07:43.325 single mother. But thank God it didn't work out like that. So how did you 00:07:43.358 --> 00:07:46.817 hide that pregnancy from your parents? 00:07:46.850 --> 00:07:53.486 II, I didn't see them. I did not see them. Mm mm. I did not see them. And 00:07:53.519 --> 00:07:58.416 um, it was one of those things. He was an older guy and, um, me being 00:07:58.449 --> 00:08:02.286 young and I just, just, you know what, for me to be so young. I, I think I 00:08:02.319 --> 00:08:08.346 was very mature because what I did was I met this guy. Older guy. Um, just 00:08:08.379 --> 00:08:13.416 really fell in love with his family and just took on his family pretty 00:08:13.449 --> 00:08:17.567 much. Um, but yeah, yeah, it was, it was difficult. My mother was, was, 00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:20.467 was very heartbroken that, that I, that I did that, to be honest, she was 00:08:20.500 --> 00:08:24.926 , you know, um, it's already bad enough that you basically kept this guy 00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:28.926 away from us and then not to, to be forthcoming about, about being 00:08:28.959 --> 00:08:35.407 pregnant. So, yeah, there was, it was, it was something else. Um, but, you 00:08:35.440 --> 00:08:41.466 know, for the most part, um, once I had her, um, my family, his family, we 00:08:41.499 --> 00:08:44.905 all pretty much got along. Thank God. So, how was pregnancy? Were you 00:08:44.938 --> 00:08:49.005 surprised by it or did, did you have girlfriends that had been pregnant? 00:08:49.038 --> 00:08:53.424 You know what I did. But, um, I, it wasn't nothing I really talked to them 00:08:53.457 --> 00:08:59.846 about. Um, once I got pregnant I dropped out of school, I went, the car 00:08:59.879 --> 00:09:04.917 hit, I went to high school and I end up, uh, dropping out of high school, 00:09:04.950 --> 00:09:12.356 but I later went back and got my GED. Yeah. So, um, what did you gain a 00:09:12.389 --> 00:09:16.015 lot of weight? Did you get bloated? What was the, you know what? I was one 00:09:16.048 --> 00:09:20.895 of the blessed people with none of my pregnancies. I did not gain a lot of 00:09:20.928 --> 00:09:26.875 weight. I did not, my weight came, um, after I had my last son, that's 00:09:26.908 --> 00:09:30.537 when I gained my weight. The biggest that I've ever been, I think, shoot, 00:09:30.570 --> 00:09:34.287 after I had him, I think I gained about £15 you know, after him. But the, 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:41.307 but the rest of them I, I was, was gay birth, still have my figure. Um, in 00:09:41.340 --> 00:09:46.167 fact, um, in my twenties I, I did not look like I was in my twenties. So, 00:09:46.200 --> 00:09:51.047 yeah, because you look younger. I, I looked younger because II, I had them 00:09:51.080 --> 00:09:57.467 kids, all kids. Um, I lost my weight and, um, and then as far as the, the 00:09:57.500 --> 00:10:00.407 belly weight or whatever, I was able to get to get that back and 00:10:00.440 --> 00:10:03.885 unfortunately it didn't, the third or the fourth kid didn't it? I wasn't 00:10:03.918 --> 00:10:09.106 so lucky. So that was kind of unfortunate. Did you, um, were you surprised 00:10:09.139 --> 00:10:13.866 by how you experience pregnancy emotionally? Like when the baby was moving 00:10:13.899 --> 00:10:21.899 or I was, I was to have this little being inside of you moving around and 00:10:22.359 --> 00:10:26.316 the one that used to really get to me when they had, when, when in your 00:10:26.349 --> 00:10:29.986 rib, when that feet is in the rib? Oh my gosh, you have to take your hand 00:10:30.019 --> 00:10:32.667 and move that feet out of there. So that was my, that was the only thing 00:10:32.700 --> 00:10:36.816 that was so, so annoying. But, um, I, to be honest, I, I enjoyed being 00:10:36.849 --> 00:10:40.755 pregnant, to be honest, you know, you get a lot of tension. Um, and I 00:10:40.788 --> 00:10:46.186 didn't get sick on none of my kids. I did not never, ever get sick. Um, 00:10:46.219 --> 00:10:50.287 and it was always, but ok, now, if I had the first one, the other ones, 00:10:50.320 --> 00:10:53.907 when I missed a period, I pretty much knew what was going on because I 00:10:53.940 --> 00:10:57.625 came on my period every month. So once I missed periods, I already knew, 00:10:57.658 --> 00:11:04.856 you know, what was going on. So, um, your further along, had you talked to 00:11:04.889 --> 00:11:08.436 a doctor about any sort of birth, like idea of what, how you wanted to 00:11:08.469 --> 00:11:10.986 give birth or you just knew you would go to the hospital. I just knew I 00:11:11.019 --> 00:11:14.346 would go to the hospital and they, they just, no, as far as no, I just 00:11:14.379 --> 00:11:18.956 knew that and we'd never discuss the different methods. Um Actually, I, to 00:11:18.989 --> 00:11:22.446 be honest, I didn't even have a choice with her because she boo booed in 00:11:22.479 --> 00:11:27.106 the water and they had immediately get her out. So did that happen? Did 00:11:27.139 --> 00:11:31.726 you know that there was a problem before you went into the hospital or did 00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:35.196 you start getting contractions? Your water broke, set me up? I ended up 00:11:35.229 --> 00:11:41.596 there now with her. Um I started getting contractions and her, I was at 00:11:41.629 --> 00:11:47.106 the hospital the longest. Um because as soon as I mentioned, it mentioned 00:11:47.139 --> 00:11:52.116 to my sister that I had um, contractions, she was like, you know what, you 00:11:52.149 --> 00:11:56.986 better get to this hospital. Um And so once I got to the hospital, um even 00:11:57.019 --> 00:12:00.547 though I had them, they wasn't close enough. So of course you have to do 00:12:00.580 --> 00:12:07.436 all this walking and stuff and, oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. With her, 00:12:07.469 --> 00:12:11.907 I want to say it was at least about 12 hours. It was about 12 hours 00:12:11.940 --> 00:12:15.066 because it just, she just, just, it was, it was just, it was something 00:12:15.099 --> 00:12:23.099 else. Um, and, um, and then of course when she boo boo in the water, uh, 00:12:25.418 --> 00:12:29.057 they had to go ahead and immediately take her out. Um, ok, first of all, 00:12:29.090 --> 00:12:35.746 were you there with your, um, now husband? You know what? No, he was not 00:12:35.779 --> 00:12:42.265 there. Um, I, with her it was my oldest sister, she was there and then 00:12:42.298 --> 00:12:50.298 later on my mom and my dad had came. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about that. I 00:12:50.950 --> 00:12:56.677 should have said no, he was not there. So we're kind of estranged from 00:12:56.710 --> 00:13:00.307 your mother and father during the pregnancy. And then at some point did 00:13:00.340 --> 00:13:05.486 you call them and say, hey, I'm pregnant? Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. When I, you know 00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:08.755 , when, in fact, when I did call I wouldn't even mention nothing like that. 00:13:08.788 --> 00:13:11.427 I would not. Mm mm. Young. You know, you think, not thinking back, you 00:13:11.460 --> 00:13:15.706 know, young. Why didn't I, you know, so young? I mean, I don't know if I 00:13:15.739 --> 00:13:18.946 was embarrassed or, or, or felt that there was none of her business. I 00:13:18.979 --> 00:13:22.775 just don't know. I mean, it was, yeah. II, I did not. So, how did they go 00:13:22.808 --> 00:13:26.787 to the hospital? Uh, once I got there? Um, oh, my sister was the one that 00:13:26.820 --> 00:13:30.427 called them, if she was the one that called them y to come there to see 00:13:30.460 --> 00:13:38.015 their grandchild. And then um once she got there, um her mouth was open 00:13:38.048 --> 00:13:41.996 wondering why did you do this? Yeah, why, why did you do this? But she was 00:13:42.029 --> 00:13:45.177 , but after that she was just all over that grandchild. You know, then 00:13:45.210 --> 00:13:50.057 that was enough said of that. Thank God but um it was enough said after 00:13:50.090 --> 00:13:56.395 she was disappointed that I didn't say anything about it. So did she come 00:13:56.428 --> 00:14:04.297 after the baby was born after? Yeah. So, ok, so then I'm assuming you're 00:14:04.330 --> 00:14:07.657 experiencing contractions, you're walking around and then your water 00:14:07.690 --> 00:14:15.690 breaks. Yes. Yes, it broke. But in fact, the water broke but because she 00:14:16.009 --> 00:14:19.996 had boo booed in the water, 00:14:20.029 --> 00:14:27.736 uh can you just say it like consecutively she pooped in the water? Well, 00:14:27.769 --> 00:14:33.015 she pooped in the water and they had to immediately get her out of there. 00:14:33.048 --> 00:14:37.717 Yeah. And that's the reason why I had the, the Cesarean with just her. 00:14:37.750 --> 00:14:43.846 And um, I was told that, um, after you give uh have birth by Cesarean, the 00:14:43.879 --> 00:14:49.047 all your kids, which was a lie because in fact, I thought that and I had 00:14:49.080 --> 00:14:52.047 actually asked the doctor, I said, well, I get to um, do this on um by 00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:57.657 Cesarean. He's like, no, it would be natural. Yeah, a vaginal birth. So, 00:14:57.690 --> 00:15:03.856 um, you've gone through now 12 hours of labor. So maybe help set us up 00:15:03.889 --> 00:15:06.606 like your emotional state. You've gone through 12 hours of labor, you're 00:15:06.639 --> 00:15:12.395 ready to have this kid water breaks, you're told you're going to be done. 00:15:12.428 --> 00:15:19.746 Have a Cesarean. What were you thinking? Um, that part I was scared 00:15:19.779 --> 00:15:24.856 because of Cesarean. Um I was scared rather I had the Cesarean or the uh 00:15:24.889 --> 00:15:30.525 vaginal birth either way it was because my whole thing is, you know, this 00:15:30.558 --> 00:15:33.936 is my first child. You know, anything could go wrong, something could go 00:15:33.969 --> 00:15:38.167 wrong with her, something could go wrong with me. Um, so yeah, I, I was 00:15:38.200 --> 00:15:42.927 very scared, I really was, I was very scared but I got to say, um, after I 00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:48.037 had her, uh, another, ok, let me back it up a little bit. Um, have a Asan 00:15:48.070 --> 00:15:54.616 , they put you out and I woke up to the baby being someplace else and her 00:15:54.649 --> 00:15:58.066 pushing on my stomach and I woke up pushing her stomach, her hands off my 00:15:58.099 --> 00:16:02.746 stomach. And, um, and that was so weird to be out like that and then to be 00:16:02.779 --> 00:16:07.076 woken up to somebody putting pressure on your freaking stomach. Um, so 00:16:07.109 --> 00:16:09.657 that was, that was weird. And then a little bit after that she went, um, 00:16:09.690 --> 00:16:12.096 because they was cleaning up the baby and to be honest, I don't know how, 00:16:12.129 --> 00:16:15.537 how long I was out. Um, but a little bit after that, she brought my 00:16:15.570 --> 00:16:21.336 daughter to me and I got to hold her and just I could just remember seeing 00:16:21.369 --> 00:16:26.456 her for the first time. I just falling in love and how cute she was. Oh my 00:16:26.489 --> 00:16:30.976 gosh, that was II I instantly fell in love with her. There was a bond, um 00:16:31.009 --> 00:16:36.265 , um, right off the back when, when I seen her. So before they took you 00:16:36.298 --> 00:16:40.917 for ac section, did they tell you we're gonna, you know, put this drug in 00:16:40.950 --> 00:16:44.866 your IV and you're going to pass out. They did. In fact, they told me to 00:16:44.899 --> 00:16:50.566 count and I think I got to three. And next thing I knew I was out when I 00:16:50.599 --> 00:16:56.846 came, woke up, uh, woke up to this lady pushing on my stomach. But, yeah, 00:16:56.879 --> 00:17:01.356 that, that was, that was, I found that very interesting to, you know, the 00:17:01.389 --> 00:17:06.627 things I'm gonna put this in your IV. Um, and count to three. and I 00:17:06.660 --> 00:17:10.717 counted to three. Next thing I knew I was out and then woke up to this 00:17:10.750 --> 00:17:15.486 pressure on my stomach. So that, that was very tough to me. That was easy. 00:17:15.519 --> 00:17:22.476 That was easy. Oh, my gosh, how is the recovery? The recovery was good. 00:17:22.509 --> 00:17:28.726 Recovery was good. Um, the recovery wasn't as fast as the last child. Um 00:17:28.759 --> 00:17:32.685 , the recovery I, I recovered pretty quickly, um, with her, I was in 00:17:32.718 --> 00:17:35.425 hospital for three days with her that I was in the hospital or whatever 00:17:35.458 --> 00:17:41.825 for three days. Did your, um, now husband come see the baby? 00, yeah. 00:17:41.858 --> 00:17:46.736 Yeah. Yeah. Yes, he, he did, he came um to see her and um, he was, he was 00:17:46.769 --> 00:17:52.666 , he was excited. He really was, he was excited. Um, and they instantly 00:17:52.699 --> 00:17:58.805 had a bond. He just, my gosh, didn't want to put her down. So, yeah. Um, 00:17:58.838 --> 00:18:06.456 did you notice? No. Um, I tried it and didn't go so well, I thought I had 00:18:06.489 --> 00:18:13.206 killed my child. Um, I didn't have the right technique when I did it. And 00:18:13.239 --> 00:18:18.815 can you say nurse it when I was nursing or just so that we can have some 00:18:18.848 --> 00:18:23.285 sort of point of reference when I was nursing her? Just the word nursing. 00:18:23.318 --> 00:18:27.446 Nursing? OK. Yeah. When I was nursing from the very beginning of the idea 00:18:27.479 --> 00:18:34.246 of nursing her. OK. Yeah. When I had her, I tried to nurse her and it 00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:39.956 didn't go so well. Um I didn't understand the technique. It was a 00:18:39.989 --> 00:18:46.325 technique to it. And um and when I tried it, um she was gasping for air 00:18:46.358 --> 00:18:49.825 and we had to fan her and that was the end of that. I didn't iii I wasn't 00:18:49.858 --> 00:18:54.666 comfortable with it. No, that was it. So I tried it but it didn't work out. 00:18:54.699 --> 00:18:58.555 So did, were you at home? Trying it or were you in the hospital when that 00:18:58.588 --> 00:19:03.075 happened? I was at home. I was at home. And in fact, I think it was more 00:19:03.108 --> 00:19:06.805 of a thrill. I don't know if I wanna say thrill, but it was uh more of my 00:19:06.838 --> 00:19:11.446 mom and my sister pushing the issue. Um And this sister didn't, she 00:19:11.479 --> 00:19:17.045 doesn't have any kids. So she uh um really, really wanted me to breastfeed 00:19:17.078 --> 00:19:20.545 and, and now now go ahead and do you go ahead and, and breastfeed? And, 00:19:20.578 --> 00:19:25.467 and of course, I tried and then that it was a disaster. It wasn't good. 00:19:25.500 --> 00:19:29.887 And I didn't try again. I said, forget this ig give me the bottle. Yeah. 00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:35.347 So, um so why was she gasping for air? Because when you, when you're 00:19:35.380 --> 00:19:39.897 breastfeeding, you have to the part that's by that, by her nose, you have 00:19:39.930 --> 00:19:45.467 to push that back and I'm here trying to breastfeed her and her nose is up 00:19:45.500 --> 00:19:49.285 against my breast and that's why she was gasping for air and I was like, 00:19:49.318 --> 00:19:53.446 oh my God. Oh no, I don't want to do that. So, and plus being young and, 00:19:53.479 --> 00:19:58.166 and, and, and, and to be honest, lazy, to be honest, you know, um um to 00:19:58.199 --> 00:20:03.656 have to uh uh do my bra and, and uh I just mm mm I didn't like to be 00:20:03.689 --> 00:20:06.946 honest. I didn't like the feeling of it to be honest. Yeah. Mm The feeling 00:20:06.979 --> 00:20:11.496 was not. Mm mm 00:20:11.529 --> 00:20:16.016 That's a good expression for it. 00:20:16.049 --> 00:20:23.647 Um OK. So then you started formula. I started a formula 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:30.597 and um and I was a child that could eat and she had the fattest thigh. She 00:20:30.630 --> 00:20:34.325 was my fattest baby. Yes. Oh Well, you know what I should have bought some 00:20:34.358 --> 00:20:36.916 baby. Yeah. She was my fattest baby. Oh, my gosh, she could eat. Oh, gosh 00:20:36.949 --> 00:20:42.127 , she had a really good appetite. So, um, can you revisit the idea that 00:20:42.160 --> 00:20:48.575 she was the family baby doll? I like that. Yeah. After I had her, um, I 00:20:48.608 --> 00:20:54.367 just hardly had her. Um, she went from both of my sisters, um, to my 00:20:54.400 --> 00:20:58.717 parents and then back around to me. Um, and yeah, she was just, just a 00:20:58.750 --> 00:21:05.565 family baby doll and um it, it was nice. It, it, you know, allowed me to, 00:21:05.598 --> 00:21:11.117 um, put my focus on school and other stuff. Um So that, that helped me out 00:21:11.150 --> 00:21:14.916 a lot, um having the support um from my side of the family. So that, that 00:21:14.949 --> 00:21:22.949 was nice. That was nice. Great. So we can move on to the next but maybe 00:21:23.799 --> 00:21:27.295 tell us a little bit because I find it, one of the things I find really 00:21:27.328 --> 00:21:30.976 fascinating is the fact that you were 16 and you met this guy who was 10 00:21:31.009 --> 00:21:34.597 years older than you and it just sounds like a recipe for disaster, right 00:21:34.630 --> 00:21:38.176 ? You get pregnant. It's like the beginning of the end. But instead you 00:21:38.209 --> 00:21:43.246 end up having multiple Children in this long successful marriage. Like 00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:48.131 it's such a fairy tale. But I think that it's interesting if you um take 00:21:48.164 --> 00:21:54.190 us through like the changes how, you know, you and his attitudes changed 00:21:54.223 --> 00:21:58.160 and his level of commitment and you know what I mean, and his excitement 00:21:58.193 --> 00:22:03.101 for the idea of starting this family, you know, grew from that initial 00:22:03.134 --> 00:22:06.041 part where he was like, I don't think I want kids and I think that's so 00:22:06.074 --> 00:22:11.940 interesting. Ok, so after we had the oldest daughter, um, less than two 00:22:11.973 --> 00:22:18.055 years, uh, got pregnant again, um, now once I got pregnant with the second 00:22:18.088 --> 00:22:22.226 child, that's when he spoke up, you know. Um, here it is, you know, we 00:22:22.259 --> 00:22:27.736 already got one kid. Um, we're not where we need to be financially and, um 00:22:27.769 --> 00:22:32.085 , you know, I just hope that financially able to take care of this kid. Um 00:22:32.118 --> 00:22:39.016 , so our relationship still, we still had AAA pretty good relationship. It 00:22:39.049 --> 00:22:44.575 was just that he was just concerned. Um And, um, but, but we made it 00:22:44.608 --> 00:22:47.476 through it, we made it through it. We stayed in an apartment that, that, 00:22:47.509 --> 00:22:50.986 you know, wasn't in the best neighborhood. Um We didn't have a lot of 00:22:51.019 --> 00:22:55.446 money but we made it work, we made it work um, without no assistance from 00:22:55.479 --> 00:23:00.676 his family, not no assistance from my family. We made it work, we sure did 00:23:00.709 --> 00:23:04.887 no financial assistance, no financial assistance. Um In fact, that's when 00:23:04.920 --> 00:23:10.766 he got a CD O truck driver license and he became a truck driver. Um And so 00:23:10.799 --> 00:23:18.075 , um, and at that time, um, he made pretty good money. Um, but because he 00:23:18.108 --> 00:23:23.666 was the only one working, you know, we had to go, we could afford, um, So 00:23:23.699 --> 00:23:30.347 after I had um I was pregnant with the second child. Um and after I had 00:23:30.380 --> 00:23:37.867 him, um it, his attitude was different because this was a son. 00:23:37.900 --> 00:23:43.147 Um, he had, at this point he has two daughters and now you have a son. Now 00:23:43.180 --> 00:23:48.575 that changed his attitude. He was, he was so proud of his son. Um he uh 00:23:48.608 --> 00:23:54.776 spent a lot of time with him. He took my son with him places. Um, it was 00:23:54.809 --> 00:23:59.607 just, it, it was good. It was, it was good and with him with my second son 00:23:59.640 --> 00:24:05.585 , the pregnancy, um, it wasn't bad. It was ok. And of course I had to have 00:24:05.618 --> 00:24:10.416 him natural. Um, and I did not take no kind of medications at all for none 00:24:10.449 --> 00:24:15.746 of my kids at all. I had them without any type of medications at all. Um, 00:24:15.779 --> 00:24:23.127 yeah, which is, yeah. So, um, we're skipping ahead a lot. So I'm going to 00:24:23.160 --> 00:24:28.055 pull us back to, um, when you realized you were pregnant with your second 00:24:28.088 --> 00:24:35.117 daughter. And, um, and you said that he was, uh, concerned about being 00:24:35.150 --> 00:24:40.545 able to, you know, handle, handle having two Children and, you know, how 00:24:40.578 --> 00:24:44.156 did you feel 00:24:44.189 --> 00:24:46.795 at that point? 00:24:46.828 --> 00:24:52.075 To be honest, I can't, I, I don't even recall how I felt. Um, I just know 00:24:52.108 --> 00:24:58.496 I had, I was pregnant with this kid and, um, was just pretty much, I 00:24:58.529 --> 00:25:01.097 wasn't scared or none of that. I wasn't sad or nothing like that. I just, 00:25:01.130 --> 00:25:04.117 I, I didn't have no feeling one way or the other. Now, when you get down 00:25:04.150 --> 00:25:06.897 to the other ones, that's when the feelings for me come in. Now with the 00:25:06.930 --> 00:25:10.756 second kid. It was, it was, you know, ok, I'm pregnant. Ok. And we'll get 00:25:10.789 --> 00:25:13.627 through this. 00:25:13.660 --> 00:25:19.656 But, um, you know, uh, going through the pregnancy with him, it was, I 00:25:19.689 --> 00:25:25.357 didn't get sick at all. It was with my son. So let's just like just um end 00:25:25.390 --> 00:25:29.295 the second birth story before we go there. So just tell us you can say 00:25:29.328 --> 00:25:35.335 like um pregnancy was the same or, or you didn't have ac section for the 00:25:35.368 --> 00:25:38.436 second one. I did not. So give us a little bit more information about that 00:25:38.469 --> 00:25:43.075 before we move on. Um I did not have a um I had him, my second son. I had 00:25:43.108 --> 00:25:45.976 him naturally. You're talking about your second daughter. No, no, no, no. 00:25:46.009 --> 00:25:49.535 So because it's because it's four. I got the oldest daughter. You haven't 00:25:49.568 --> 00:25:52.795 told us anything about the sec, the daughter's birth, your second 00:25:52.828 --> 00:25:59.696 daughter's birth. Ok. The second child was the son. 00:25:59.729 --> 00:26:05.545 So you had a girl, boy, girl, boy. So right now we own a second son. Ok. 00:26:05.578 --> 00:26:08.877 So we haven't been communicating. You're probably thinking what is the I'm 00:26:08.910 --> 00:26:13.565 talking about? Ok. So then you found out you were pregnant with the second 00:26:13.598 --> 00:26:21.598 child and you did you get a sonogram? Yes, I did. And um and they told me 00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:28.305 it was a boy. Um And so I was excited about me having a son as soon as 00:26:28.338 --> 00:26:31.166 they told me it was a boy. I was excited because if I had my way, I would 00:26:31.199 --> 00:26:35.835 have all sons. So I was just ecstatic. I, I was happy to have my son. Um 00:26:35.868 --> 00:26:41.117 So, um that pregnancy was good. I didn't get sick or nothing like that. Um 00:26:41.150 --> 00:26:45.256 Upon my delivery of this child, it wasn't bad. I, I would have to say I 00:26:45.289 --> 00:26:48.436 was in labor probably about, 00:26:48.469 --> 00:26:52.335 I don't know, probably about eight hours, seven hours. It was nowhere near 00:26:52.368 --> 00:26:57.117 the first child. Um, so I was not in labor, um, long with him at all. Um, 00:26:57.150 --> 00:27:04.627 and it was a pretty, um, easy birth, um, no complications at all. Um, and 00:27:04.660 --> 00:27:12.660 I refused all medications. Um, and once, uh, I had him and I, I got to see 00:27:13.279 --> 00:27:20.065 that after birth, which was so gross and, and scary and I was like, oh my 00:27:20.098 --> 00:27:23.206 God. Uh, so that was, that was, that was the first time I seen the after 00:27:23.239 --> 00:27:26.085 birth I was just like, that was just so gross. Um, but, you know, a, a him 00:27:26.118 --> 00:27:31.137 , um, it was, it was good. It was good. Um, and my husband did, he was 00:27:31.170 --> 00:27:36.325 there for him. He, he got to see his son, um, uh, born, um, and at that 00:27:36.358 --> 00:27:42.137 particular time it was just me, him, um, that was there and then later on 00:27:42.170 --> 00:27:46.176 family came So it was just me, him for that birth. So, what was your 00:27:46.209 --> 00:27:51.717 method of coping with the pain? I did it. I, I did it. II, I don't know 00:27:51.750 --> 00:27:54.805 how I did it. They, they are, they, are you sure you don't want nothing 00:27:54.838 --> 00:27:58.805 for pain? No, I do not want anything for pain. Now, epidural. That scared 00:27:58.838 --> 00:28:01.847 me. That didn't sound that scared. But I didn't know what it was. And it, 00:28:01.880 --> 00:28:04.055 when, every time they, oh, I was like, no, I don't want that because I was 00:28:04.088 --> 00:28:07.295 just like, oh my God, I, I don't want that. So, but yeah, I, I refused 00:28:07.328 --> 00:28:13.026 that because it was just, the name sounded scary. So I didn't want it. So 00:28:13.059 --> 00:28:15.936 were you, um, laying on your back the whole time? I was laying on my back 00:28:15.969 --> 00:28:20.887 the whole time I was laying on my back the whole time. 00:28:20.920 --> 00:28:26.075 So you must have been, were you like bearing down or did you like count or 00:28:26.108 --> 00:28:34.108 ? Oh, and in a bit and the, and the contractions. Oh my gosh. Uh I've 00:28:35.328 --> 00:28:39.575 stayed in the bed the whole time and yes, I did squeeze on on the bed, uh 00:28:39.608 --> 00:28:43.607 , um, cheats and, and all of that. And then I said, oh my God, I'm not 00:28:43.640 --> 00:28:48.117 having no more kids. This is it, this is a wrap. Um, didn't know I was 00:28:48.150 --> 00:28:51.597 lying at the time but yeah, it was, it was, it was something else that, 00:28:51.630 --> 00:28:56.847 that oh my God contractions is no fun at all. Did your um now husband like 00:28:56.880 --> 00:29:00.617 help at all? Did he, you know, was he rubbing on you or doing anything? 00:29:00.650 --> 00:29:05.246 You know what? No, on this one. No, 00:29:05.279 --> 00:29:12.726 no, he, he did not. No. Mm mm. He was just there. Um, and um, 00:29:12.759 --> 00:29:15.835 I tried to squeeze his hand. He was like, you know what? And now he, he 00:29:15.868 --> 00:29:19.315 went for it the first time and then as he was like, no, you know what, you 00:29:19.348 --> 00:29:22.535 squeeze it too tight. Um So the hand squeeze and he didn't, he wasn't 00:29:22.568 --> 00:29:27.637 going for that. Um So I did, I, I did uh grip on those bars, blankets and 00:29:27.670 --> 00:29:32.847 uh uh did funny stuff in the bed and, and just, yeah, that, that right 00:29:32.880 --> 00:29:38.766 there was something else because um this was a birth that I had to, it was 00:29:38.799 --> 00:29:42.926 so different from my first one. Put it like that. 00:29:42.959 --> 00:29:48.377 We talked to a woman yesterday who said that she um vividly remembers like 00:29:48.410 --> 00:29:52.367 the head and shoulders emerging from her vagina. Do you remember like the 00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:55.835 ring of fire and all that stuff? You know what I OK? Now, on this 00:29:55.868 --> 00:29:59.217 particular, I'm so glad you said that. Now on this particular pregnancy, I 00:29:59.250 --> 00:30:04.946 , I just recall um when you have to push and I could just remember that 00:30:04.979 --> 00:30:09.647 head poop just that initial push and that head coming out. And of course, 00:30:09.680 --> 00:30:14.276 he had the biggest head also. And um and so that initial push and when 00:30:14.309 --> 00:30:18.617 that head came out it was a piece of cake after that. But, oh, my gosh. 00:30:18.650 --> 00:30:22.617 Yes. Yes. 00:30:22.650 --> 00:30:28.117 So, um, did they, they, you know, pulled your baby out or you pushed your 00:30:28.150 --> 00:30:33.776 baby out? And then, um, what do you look like? Was he like bloody or white 00:30:33.809 --> 00:30:38.956 or he was, he was very, very bloody. And, um, oh, he was very bloody. Oh, 00:30:38.989 --> 00:30:44.117 gosh, that was not a pretty sight. And my husband, um, cut his umbilical 00:30:44.150 --> 00:30:47.967 cord, um, and he was just looking, I could just remember seeing him 00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:52.637 looking at his son like, you know, oh my God. What the heck. Um, but on 00:30:52.670 --> 00:30:58.065 this go around he didn't look at the whole procedure laid on down the line. 00:30:58.098 --> 00:31:02.565 This story gets interesting as, as we go along. Um, but yeah, he, he, uh 00:31:02.598 --> 00:31:05.776 , he just, uh, cut the, cut the cord and that was pretty much it. But he, 00:31:05.809 --> 00:31:09.097 he was kind of looking at like, oh my God, this w, um, then I can remember 00:31:09.130 --> 00:31:12.377 him telling, um, the nerves to go and clean him up because he did that. 00:31:12.410 --> 00:31:15.016 That's not a good look. Go and clean, clean them up, man. Bring him back 00:31:15.049 --> 00:31:20.026 and I'll hold him. Yeah. Did they put them on your chest? 00:31:20.059 --> 00:31:24.976 No, they gave him to the dad 00:31:25.009 --> 00:31:32.026 now. Yeah, they gave him to the dad. Yep. Did you nurse? Nope. Mm. Did not 00:31:32.059 --> 00:31:37.236 nurse him at all? Uh, uh, did not nurse. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. So as soon as you 00:31:37.269 --> 00:31:39.847 had them and they were, were they encouraging you to nurse? They were like 00:31:39.880 --> 00:31:44.035 , no, you knew what they did. And, um, and I told them right away because 00:31:44.068 --> 00:31:47.676 now with the first one, you know, I told them I was going to do both and 00:31:47.709 --> 00:31:51.857 with the second one I made it clear. No, I'm not breastfeeding. I will be 00:31:51.890 --> 00:31:55.035 bottle feeding. I, I didn't want to make that mistake because they kept 00:31:55.068 --> 00:31:58.325 trying to push that in the hospital. So, no, I told him straight out. No, 00:31:58.358 --> 00:32:01.756 I'm only, I'm, I'm not uh breastfeeding. I'm bottle feeding. Do you feel 00:32:01.789 --> 00:32:03.795 pressured? 00:32:03.828 --> 00:32:08.256 Uh the first time I did this time, they respected my wishes and, and um 00:32:08.289 --> 00:32:14.776 and started them on a formula. Um Did you feel like there was any judgment 00:32:14.809 --> 00:32:20.196 about it? No, no. Um no, the hospital staff, uh the nurse, the doctor, all 00:32:20.229 --> 00:32:24.897 them was really, really good. In fact, um the doctor um that delivered my 00:32:24.930 --> 00:32:29.295 first child, delivered the second child. So they had the same doctor, same 00:32:29.328 --> 00:32:37.016 doctor. Um Did the doctor give you any, you know, feedback on, on your, 00:32:37.049 --> 00:32:43.107 you know, performance? You call it. No, no. Um He just made a little joke 00:32:43.140 --> 00:32:46.946 , you know that, you know, here we are again, you know, here we are. Here 00:32:46.979 --> 00:32:50.367 we go again. You know. So he was like you didn't learn nothing the first 00:32:50.400 --> 00:32:54.607 time, huh? Oh, here we go again. That was so funny when he said that he 00:32:54.640 --> 00:32:59.565 was such a cool doctor doc. Oh, can I say I not say that again? But, yeah 00:32:59.598 --> 00:33:05.897 , he was such a cool doctor. Um, ok. So then you spend a couple of days in 00:33:05.930 --> 00:33:10.906 the hospital less or more, um, with him? Ok. The oldest daughter was three 00:33:10.939 --> 00:33:16.996 days. Um, him, I was in there for two days, two days with, with, with my 00:33:17.029 --> 00:33:24.565 son. Yep. Two days. Where was he a similar baby to the first one? No, no, 00:33:24.598 --> 00:33:27.986 he, he was, he was, uh, totally, totally different and right to this day 00:33:28.019 --> 00:33:32.805 he's totally different. Um, he was a good baby too. Um, and he, uh, when I 00:33:32.838 --> 00:33:36.776 say different, um, 00:33:36.809 --> 00:33:41.986 he was, he was a good baby and then as he grew up, he just, he's the type 00:33:42.019 --> 00:33:47.325 of kid that don't have a lot to say. Very easy going, very cool, calm and 00:33:47.358 --> 00:33:50.717 collected, just, just very cool and right to this day he's still the same 00:33:50.750 --> 00:33:56.526 way. Um, and I can just remember, um, um, times where he, he, he listened 00:33:56.559 --> 00:34:01.897 well, um, to where, you know, I would tell him, you know, um Tyree, you 00:34:01.930 --> 00:34:05.456 know, um, don't do this and do that and he, he actually would, would 00:34:05.489 --> 00:34:08.956 listen. And, um, and he was the only kid that would let me take a nap 00:34:08.989 --> 00:34:12.615 without bothering me. I could actually take a nap with this kid the rest 00:34:12.648 --> 00:34:16.615 of them. No. But yeah, he, he's, he's, he's always been different and he's 00:34:16.648 --> 00:34:20.175 just different in, in a way to where he, and he still keeps secrets the 00:34:20.208 --> 00:34:23.267 rest of this day. That's somebody if you told the secret to him, he would 00:34:23.300 --> 00:34:27.537 not repeat it, you know, he, he doesn't have a lot to say. Um, very 00:34:27.570 --> 00:34:33.247 easygoing, fun, nice guy. Um, and, and just, just an awesome person. Very 00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:41.280 awesome. That's cool. Um, ok, so, ok, now how long is the gap between your 00:34:42.128 --> 00:34:44.885 second to your third? 00:34:44.918 --> 00:34:51.874 About a seven year gap? He was, yeah, he was born in um 89. She was born 00:34:51.907 --> 00:34:55.155 in 93. So what is that about a seven year, about the seven year gap? So 00:34:55.188 --> 00:35:00.745 what's the story there? Um Now with there? Oh I was done um I was taking 00:35:00.778 --> 00:35:04.506 birth control pills. Oh I'm not having no more kids, you know what? Um 00:35:04.539 --> 00:35:07.334 it's been seven years maybe if I can go ahead and just put these pills 00:35:07.367 --> 00:35:12.327 away and boom was pregnant. Could not freaking believe that. So yeah. Uh 00:35:12.360 --> 00:35:17.967 the story there I thought I was done and that was a complete oopsy. Now 00:35:18.000 --> 00:35:21.175 this child 00:35:21.208 --> 00:35:28.195 was a handful. Um Now with her birth. Ok. Now once we found out about her 00:35:28.228 --> 00:35:31.706 about her, that's what my husband told me. You, you know, you, you really 00:35:31.739 --> 00:35:34.836 need to slow it down, you know. Um here it is, you know, we're about to 00:35:34.869 --> 00:35:39.517 have three kids and um and you really do need to uh I don't know what 00:35:39.550 --> 00:35:42.787 happened, you know, why aren't you taking your birth control pills? And 00:35:42.820 --> 00:35:46.626 you really do need to slow it down. So, anyway, um, um, I agree. Yeah, 00:35:46.659 --> 00:35:52.425 you're right. But it's too late now. Um, so, um, being pregnant with her, 00:35:52.458 --> 00:35:54.727 um, 00:35:54.760 --> 00:36:02.760 she was a very interesting baby. Um, my labor with her was about, because 00:36:02.789 --> 00:36:06.986 I learned from the other two, a little bit shorter. So I wanna say maybe 00:36:07.019 --> 00:36:11.026 about five hours because II I knew not to just rush to the hospital with 00:36:11.059 --> 00:36:15.557 that one. So it wasn't as long. Um, and then my, uh, water eventually 00:36:15.590 --> 00:36:19.997 broke once I got to the hospital with her, um, refused, um, all 00:36:20.030 --> 00:36:25.037 medications easy. Uh, um, everything went well, she came out no 00:36:25.070 --> 00:36:31.175 complications at all. Um, and 00:36:31.208 --> 00:36:35.767 he wasn't there for her either. He had to work so he missed the boat on 00:36:35.800 --> 00:36:43.736 her. Um, and, um, when I had her, it was, um, again, it was my mother and 00:36:43.769 --> 00:36:48.537 basically all of my family for that go around there. Um, she was a baby 00:36:48.570 --> 00:36:54.276 that, um, that cried a lot. She cried a lot. That was my little cry baby. 00:36:54.309 --> 00:36:57.316 Uh, oh gosh, she cried a lot. And I, I just remember I cannot let a 00:36:57.349 --> 00:37:00.646 stranger keep you because I, I think they would do harm because you just a 00:37:00.679 --> 00:37:03.635 little cry baby. She just, oh God and had a big mouth. Oh my God. That was 00:37:03.668 --> 00:37:10.945 my big mouth baby. Um, and, um, as she, uh, um, got older, um, she got a 00:37:10.978 --> 00:37:15.236 little bit better as she got older. Um, and then, um, once she became a 00:37:15.269 --> 00:37:19.635 teenager, um, that was a whole different ball game that she, uh, was, 00:37:19.668 --> 00:37:23.506 she's very outspoken. That's what her thing is. She's very outspoken and, 00:37:23.539 --> 00:37:28.267 and, and just, just, I, I call, I said that's my little fireball but now 00:37:28.300 --> 00:37:32.896 she's 22 years old and this, this girl is, is, is awesome. II I didn't 00:37:32.929 --> 00:37:36.217 think that she would be the person that she is today. I, I did not, I 00:37:36.250 --> 00:37:40.756 didn't see it um because she was, you know, cry, cry baby as a baby. Um 00:37:40.789 --> 00:37:46.296 then she kind of mellowed out uh all the way until she got, I wanna say 00:37:46.329 --> 00:37:52.727 1414, all the way to probably 20 was the time that I think I could have 00:37:52.760 --> 00:37:57.675 packed my bags and easily not gave her my address. Um, but um, o other 00:37:57.708 --> 00:38:00.686 than that, you know, the, the pregnancy with her was, wasn't uh it wasn't 00:38:00.719 --> 00:38:03.675 bad. It was a little out of all, all the pregnancies. That one was one of 00:38:03.708 --> 00:38:07.925 the shorter ones. Is it shorter pregnancy, uh, shorter pregnancy, you know 00:38:07.958 --> 00:38:11.526 , the delivery time, I'm sorry, delivery all of I carry all of my kids to 00:38:11.559 --> 00:38:18.896 term before nine months. So um you would plan on just going in there and 00:38:18.929 --> 00:38:23.365 having the same vaginal birth like the previous. Yeah, because it would 00:38:23.398 --> 00:38:29.557 not uh spoke of be beforehand and went in there and natural birth and, and 00:38:29.590 --> 00:38:36.227 that was that one. Are you just like super brave? I mean, how I, you seem 00:38:36.260 --> 00:38:41.166 like you just accept that that's the process and, yeah. Yeah, cause you 00:38:41.199 --> 00:38:44.595 know, having a mother too, I pretty much knew, you know, um, what the 00:38:44.628 --> 00:38:48.546 procedure was and I, uh, once they asked me if I wanted anything for pain 00:38:48.579 --> 00:38:51.945 or whatever, no, I don't want anything for pain. I basically want to get 00:38:51.978 --> 00:38:58.115 this over with. Um, and of course, uh, uh, gripping the chair and the bars 00:38:58.148 --> 00:39:02.186 and saying, oh my God, what did I do? And, oh my God. Yeah, what did I do 00:39:02.219 --> 00:39:05.977 ? Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. At that particular time I can remember in my 00:39:06.010 --> 00:39:08.916 mind. Oh my God. I cannot believe this. Uh, the third go around. What is 00:39:08.949 --> 00:39:12.327 wrong with me? The third going wrong? What is wrong with me? I can't 00:39:12.360 --> 00:39:20.360 believe I did this. Ok. So, um, and you formula fed, formula fed and, uh, 00:39:22.039 --> 00:39:26.796 anything exceptional about the pregnancy or birth that you can remember 00:39:26.829 --> 00:39:34.506 before you move on with her. No, the last one. Yes. 00:39:34.539 --> 00:39:41.807 Ok. So you set it up, don't? Ok. Now, now the fourth kid, um, once I got 00:39:41.840 --> 00:39:47.066 pregnant with him, I was very upset because I was 30 years old. I felt 00:39:47.099 --> 00:39:52.865 like I was an old lady. Um, and I was not happy. Um, in fact, um, this kid 00:39:52.898 --> 00:39:57.606 I was considering aborting because I, I figured we wasn't, um, where we, 00:39:57.639 --> 00:40:00.537 um, were financially, I already have three kids and I didn't want to 00:40:00.570 --> 00:40:04.807 create no more hardship and all that. Um, and so when I went to Planned 00:40:04.840 --> 00:40:09.807 Parenthood to, um, do the procedure, um, when they show, they show a movie 00:40:09.840 --> 00:40:13.787 they, they show you what they do to the babies and I, I ran out of there. 00:40:13.820 --> 00:40:17.615 I was gone and, um, and so I couldn't do it, I couldn't do it and I seen 00:40:17.648 --> 00:40:20.537 what they did to those babies. I was like, no, I, I just have to, if I 00:40:20.570 --> 00:40:25.026 need be, I'll be a single parent if you want to leave me. So be it. Um, 00:40:25.059 --> 00:40:30.256 now, um, now bear in mind on this, this, uh, fourth go round. I did not 00:40:30.289 --> 00:40:33.827 tell him, I didn't tell him because I was going to board it. But what I 00:40:33.860 --> 00:40:36.615 did do, I was interviewing other people, you know, what would you do and 00:40:36.648 --> 00:40:39.925 all that just trying to get some feedback. And I went when my oldest 00:40:39.958 --> 00:40:43.836 daughter had said that, you know, um, you know, anybody that, um, that, um 00:40:43.869 --> 00:40:46.307 , boarded their kid, but I didn't tell her it was me. I was playing like 00:40:46.340 --> 00:40:49.626 it was just, you know, pretty much just trying to get her opinion on it, 00:40:49.659 --> 00:40:52.376 you know, what would you do? You know, if somebody, you know, um, got rid 00:40:52.409 --> 00:40:56.796 of a baby and all that in, in, I mean, for her to be young. She was like, 00:40:56.829 --> 00:41:00.126 oh, my God, that's terrible. I don't think that's horrible. Anybody does 00:41:00.159 --> 00:41:03.356 it. That's horrible. So, that kind of didn't make me feel too good. So, I 00:41:03.389 --> 00:41:06.287 thought, oh, my God, that's not good. So, just different people. I was 00:41:06.320 --> 00:41:09.506 talking to just to kind of get their opinions on it but not let nobody 00:41:09.539 --> 00:41:14.586 know that I'm, I'm pregnant. Um, so once I went there to, to, to, to abort 00:41:14.619 --> 00:41:18.626 this kid and they showed me that I, I ran out of there so fast then I, um 00:41:18.659 --> 00:41:23.666 , I was like, oh my gosh. So I jumped in my car was going down. I was just 00:41:23.699 --> 00:41:28.477 like a mad woman. So, um, I was like, oh my God, I gotta come clean and 00:41:28.510 --> 00:41:32.675 tell my husband that I, you know, I, soon as I hit that door, Wayne, what 00:41:32.708 --> 00:41:36.086 are we gonna do? I am pregnant. What are we gonna do? He said, well, what 00:41:36.119 --> 00:41:38.836 are we gonna do? What are you gonna do? And, um, I was like, you know what 00:41:38.869 --> 00:41:42.217 , I went to, uh, planned Parenthood, I was gonna get rid of this kid and, 00:41:42.250 --> 00:41:45.416 and I've seen what they did and all that and then I, I could not do that. 00:41:45.449 --> 00:41:48.506 I mean, so, I mean, so what, what, what, what are we gonna do? And so I 00:41:48.539 --> 00:41:51.986 guess at that point I was kinda figure if he was a bored or he was this a 00:41:52.019 --> 00:41:56.017 rap, you know. So, but um he was just like, you know, um you know, we 00:41:56.050 --> 00:42:00.767 gonna have the kid, you know, you know, and, and just have to make it and 00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:08.736 do what we can. Um So as time went on, um um he uh later found out that 00:42:08.769 --> 00:42:13.717 this was a son. Oh I even went as far as, because the sister that does not 00:42:13.750 --> 00:42:17.046 have any kids. I went as far as I said, well, what about us letting Coren 00:42:17.079 --> 00:42:20.836 raise him as hers? Cause I felt so I think every female should have a baby 00:42:20.869 --> 00:42:25.356 did experience that because I felt bad. I was like, well, let me let my um 00:42:25.389 --> 00:42:30.057 sister uh raise him. She was like, are you out of your mind? Your sister's 00:42:30.090 --> 00:42:33.807 not raising no kid of mine. And so um he's like, you know what you gonna 00:42:33.840 --> 00:42:37.827 have this kid and, and we're gonna, you know, we're gonna figure this out. 00:42:37.860 --> 00:42:41.827 And so once he found out this was another son, he was so, oh my God, he 00:42:41.860 --> 00:42:46.077 was just, he was, he was a very, very good dad. I mean, he just wanted me 00:42:46.110 --> 00:42:49.767 to eat certain things. He talked to the baby in my stomach. He just did 00:42:49.800 --> 00:42:54.206 kind of weird stuff though. But he just, he just was just blown away about 00:42:54.239 --> 00:42:59.577 having another son. He, he was just so excited. Um And so once I had, and 00:42:59.610 --> 00:43:03.385 this is probably gonna sound unbelievable by what I'm gonna say. And once 00:43:03.418 --> 00:43:10.517 I had my son naturally, no, no problems at all. He cut the umbilical cord 00:43:10.550 --> 00:43:16.445 and all of that and he was talking to my son and do you? I mean, this is 00:43:16.478 --> 00:43:21.506 gonna sound unreal. He actually said something and I had heard it, my hu 00:43:21.539 --> 00:43:25.186 my husband had heard it and we were just like my husband, like, I'm, I'm 00:43:25.219 --> 00:43:29.467 so glad you said it. It was just like he had recognized his voice and he 00:43:29.500 --> 00:43:32.736 said it was, uh it was just just, he said it was like something came out 00:43:32.769 --> 00:43:36.526 of his mouth like baby talk, you know, it was just, it was so freaking 00:43:36.559 --> 00:43:40.517 weird. I was so creeped out about that. And um, and so, but um, and it was 00:43:40.550 --> 00:43:43.456 just, I was just glad he heard it because I was just thinking ii I hope 00:43:43.489 --> 00:43:46.986 I'm not losing my mind, but my husband heard the same thing I heard. Um 00:43:47.019 --> 00:43:55.019 And so, um I got to back it up even more when, when it was time for me to 00:43:55.639 --> 00:44:03.356 go to the hospital. Uh he was uh scared 00:44:03.389 --> 00:44:07.916 and so I knew I had to talk in a calm voice and not to get excited because 00:44:07.949 --> 00:44:12.405 I didn't want to excite him and then him get into a panic. So I had to 00:44:12.438 --> 00:44:15.606 tell him in a calm voice, Wayne, I'm having contractions. It's time for me 00:44:15.639 --> 00:44:22.166 to go to the hospital. So by him being so nervous about all of this. As if 00:44:22.199 --> 00:44:26.186 this was his first kid. But by him being so end up getting excited and all 00:44:26.219 --> 00:44:31.586 that. So I took my time going to the hospital, took my time. And so he had 00:44:31.619 --> 00:44:35.916 to make a stop two stops. He did one stop to the liquor store. He had to 00:44:35.949 --> 00:44:40.046 go get him a beer to calm his nerves. Then he had to go and, and um get my 00:44:40.079 --> 00:44:43.026 sister out. Uh, you know, because my sister at the time she sleep with my 00:44:43.059 --> 00:44:47.845 mom. So he had to go and pick her up because he wanted her to come. So he 00:44:47.878 --> 00:44:50.316 picked her up and both of them came and I'm thinking to myself, oh my gosh 00:44:50.349 --> 00:44:53.066 , I'm gonna have this baby in the car. He had to make all these freaking 00:44:53.099 --> 00:44:57.077 stops. Are you kidding me right now? So thank God we finally made it to 00:44:57.110 --> 00:45:00.166 the hospital and I wasn't there at that hospital. No time at all. And, and 00:45:00.199 --> 00:45:03.227 the lady said, you know what, she put me on the table and she, um, 00:45:03.260 --> 00:45:06.316 monitored, um, uh, the contractions and she said, you know what we're 00:45:06.349 --> 00:45:08.876 about to have us a baby. I, I kid you and I was in the hospital probably 00:45:08.909 --> 00:45:12.622 for less than an hour before. Uh, I at him, that was my plan. All the 00:45:12.655 --> 00:45:16.372 other ones having to wait and all that. I was my plan. You know, I'm a, I 00:45:16.405 --> 00:45:20.381 , I, you know, I hope I'm not making a mistake but my plan is to get in 00:45:20.414 --> 00:45:24.191 there and, and handle my business and that's exactly what I did went in 00:45:24.224 --> 00:45:28.077 there and he, it took no time for him to come. So, you were in labor at 00:45:28.110 --> 00:45:33.416 home for a long time? Yes. Yes. Uh, yes, I was, I, I just, you know, um, 00:45:33.449 --> 00:45:39.126 um, I just in my com because it took me a minute to get dressed. I was 00:45:39.159 --> 00:45:43.456 like Wayne, I'm having contractions and um, it was just like, you know, 00:45:43.489 --> 00:45:48.175 your voice is too calm. No, you're not. So he uh um um continued, um 00:45:48.208 --> 00:45:51.307 looking at TV, I'm having contracts. We have to go, go in and get dressed. 00:45:51.340 --> 00:45:55.146 So finally got dressed and all that and didn't even call my sister to 00:45:55.179 --> 00:45:59.577 warn her, um that we need to go to the hospital. We just drove over there. 00:45:59.610 --> 00:46:03.675 So, and I thought, oh my gosh, what if she needs to get dressed? So that 00:46:03.708 --> 00:46:06.316 was that, at that point I was like, oh my God, maybe this wasn't a good 00:46:06.349 --> 00:46:10.211 idea for me to plan this way. But um, it, it worked out, it worked out, in 00:46:10.244 --> 00:46:14.501 fact better than I thought it would, it really did. Um And um, and so, uh 00:46:14.534 --> 00:46:20.122 uh once I got there and um, and gave birth, he cut the uh to cut the cord 00:46:20.155 --> 00:46:23.831 and um, and, and that was, that I could just remember how, how freaking 00:46:23.864 --> 00:46:28.780 excited he was. He was just just happy. And with this kid, I got out the 00:46:28.813 --> 00:46:33.776 next day. Yeah, with, with him, with this, with this baby, I got out the 00:46:33.809 --> 00:46:38.776 next day. Um and it was just, it was, it was smooth sailing. In fact, um, 00:46:38.809 --> 00:46:44.845 they were giving me a baby shower. I took him to the baby shower and it 00:46:44.878 --> 00:46:47.175 was like, oh my gosh, you can't do that. You go home, you just had this 00:46:47.208 --> 00:46:51.595 baby and they told me to go back home though. But yeah. Uh, so he actually 00:46:51.628 --> 00:46:58.175 went to his own baby shower. Was he early? No? Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. It wasn't 00:46:58.208 --> 00:47:01.885 early. And this is another thing too. He pretty much was on time because 00:47:01.918 --> 00:47:06.095 the rest of the kids, all my kids they had the, the dates was pretty close. 00:47:06.128 --> 00:47:11.066 It was pretty close. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He, he was on time. Was there 00:47:11.099 --> 00:47:15.767 anything, um, exceptional or, or that you wanna mention about after you 00:47:15.800 --> 00:47:20.537 brought him home? Yes. And no, when I brought him home, lucky for me, all 00:47:20.570 --> 00:47:26.365 his siblings were older. So he became the baby dog. Um, so, um, it was 00:47:26.398 --> 00:47:30.936 just, it was very easy. They helped me out a lot with him. Um, financially 00:47:30.969 --> 00:47:36.586 we survived it. Um, he got a better paying job. Um, by that time, um, I 00:47:36.619 --> 00:47:41.767 was, uh, um, studying, um, for my real estate, um, to, to get my real 00:47:41.800 --> 00:47:45.796 estate license. Um, so it all, financially, it all worked out. It really 00:47:45.829 --> 00:47:49.876 did. Um, but yeah, he, he was a, he was a good baby. He was a good baby. 00:47:49.909 --> 00:47:55.586 Um, I had no problems at all with him. He was just, and, and now he's 16 00:47:55.619 --> 00:47:59.486 and, um, he's, he's, he's, he's good. He's, he's good. Got a great sense 00:47:59.519 --> 00:48:04.115 of humor at all. My kids, he has the best sense of humor. Very tall. He's 00:48:04.148 --> 00:48:10.227 the tallest boy. Yeah, he's the tallest one. So, um, when you reflect back 00:48:10.260 --> 00:48:15.445 on your life, I mean, it's like, so amazing how far you've come and how 00:48:15.478 --> 00:48:21.345 much has happened. And what do you think? Can you kind of just reflect on 00:48:21.378 --> 00:48:26.236 your experiences since you were 16 to this point? Now, from when I was 16 00:48:26.269 --> 00:48:32.396 , being young and didn't know much and having an older guy, um, and just 00:48:32.429 --> 00:48:36.686 having to go through just being in a long term relationship and not having 00:48:36.719 --> 00:48:40.557 , you know, having to deal with relationship and when I say relationship 00:48:40.590 --> 00:48:48.276 issues, um, him, uh, being older and wanting to, uh, hang out with his 00:48:48.309 --> 00:48:51.356 friends a little bit more and then you have to have that and then I'm 00:48:51.389 --> 00:48:55.006 pretty much stuck with these kids and, um, stuff like that. But, you know 00:48:55.039 --> 00:49:00.517 , um, looking back, um, from there to now I wouldn't change a thing. Now, 00:49:00.550 --> 00:49:03.865 all the kids, uh, well, three of the kids are grown. We have the 16 year 00:49:03.898 --> 00:49:09.760 old at home. Um, my husband is, um, um, you know, when his truck driving 00:49:09.793 --> 00:49:13.581 career. I'm in my real estate career and we just happy. My, my whole thing 00:49:13.614 --> 00:49:17.921 now is II, I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change, change nothing. I went 00:49:17.954 --> 00:49:22.682 through in the past, uh, I don't, no regrets. Nothing. II, I love, take 00:49:22.715 --> 00:49:28.865 the bitter with the sweet. Pretty much. No. Yeah. Anything else. Do you 00:49:28.898 --> 00:49:32.776 wanna ask Ashley 00:49:32.809 --> 00:49:40.809 to clarify anything or? I don't think so. 00:49:41.099 --> 00:49:49.099 Ok. And I'll let you wrote all of that. Oh my God. Oh no, she's so good. 00:49:49.429 --> 00:49:53.595 If I could read them, it would be really good. 00:49:53.628 --> 00:49:59.486 We need to hire in the system to do not. Ok. So a lot of times we'll ask 00:49:59.519 --> 00:50:06.115 people at the end, um, to think and see if they can come up with a word or 00:50:06.148 --> 00:50:09.977 phrasing of words, that kind of summarizes their experience because we're 00:50:10.010 --> 00:50:14.517 separating these stories into themes and um, it's been a really 00:50:14.550 --> 00:50:19.345 interesting way of maybe finding that theme emerge. Well, you know, I 00:50:19.378 --> 00:50:24.695 would describe mines as Rocky. Rocky for the simple fact is, you know, to 00:50:24.728 --> 00:50:31.655 be this young girl, um, with this older guy, um, and just having to, um, 00:50:31.688 --> 00:50:36.905 experience him, you know, when a party with the guys and, and me being 00:50:36.938 --> 00:50:42.787 stuck with the kids and me not, uh, um, er, on my future and, and uh, oh 00:50:42.820 --> 00:50:50.236 God. Yeah, they always say Rocky. When did he propose? 00:50:50.269 --> 00:50:53.195 He, 00:50:53.228 --> 00:50:56.595 we got married. 00:50:56.628 --> 00:51:03.345 I'd already had my first daughter. 00:51:03.378 --> 00:51:06.456 I had her in 87 00:51:06.489 --> 00:51:13.365 I wanna say in about 88 because I had my son in 89. Yes, it was. Now I 00:51:13.398 --> 00:51:20.646 know how it was. Um now when I had my, my son, I was married but when I 00:51:20.679 --> 00:51:24.006 had my oldest daughter, I wasn't and so I was like, oh my God, my 00:51:24.039 --> 00:51:28.666 daughter's a bastard, you know. But yeah, yeah. And so all the other kids 00:51:28.699 --> 00:51:33.936 I was married but with her I was not. So, was that, um, was he the guy you 00:51:33.969 --> 00:51:36.997 wanted to be married to for the rest of your life? You know what? At, at, 00:51:37.030 --> 00:51:40.747 at that given moment in my mind. That's not what I said. That's not what I 00:51:40.780 --> 00:51:46.945 said. I, I, you know what I married him, um, for one I got lucky to marry 00:51:46.978 --> 00:51:51.876 the guy that I was deep in love with. Um, but the rest of our lives I did 00:51:51.909 --> 00:51:55.396 not think of that. Mm. Mm. I, I thought of it. In fact, you know, I, I, 00:51:55.429 --> 00:51:59.885 I'm married my kid's dad and somebody I truly love but lifetime. Mm. Mm. I 00:51:59.918 --> 00:52:02.356 wouldn't have guessed in a million years. I'll be still with this guy 00:52:02.389 --> 00:52:05.115 today. I would not have guessed that if somebody would have told me and I 00:52:05.148 --> 00:52:09.506 was like, no freaking way. I, I just, I, I wouldn't have guessed it. Why? 00:52:09.539 --> 00:52:13.135 Because you were just so young when you met, I was so young when I met him 00:52:13.168 --> 00:52:16.307 and I just, um, I, I just wouldn't have guessed it. I mean, I would have 00:52:16.340 --> 00:52:19.727 thought that because I was so young and inexperienced that this guy, he's 00:52:19.760 --> 00:52:23.376 an old fart now and, you know, maybe I might get somebody young on my age 00:52:23.409 --> 00:52:26.307 or whatever. So, but, uh, yeah, I thought he would become boring or 00:52:26.340 --> 00:52:30.385 whatever. But the older this guy get, the more interest he get, he really 00:52:30.418 --> 00:52:34.905 does, he's more interested now than he were back then. You know. So he's 00:52:34.938 --> 00:52:38.217 so, oh God, he's, he's such a and he's, and what I love about him now, 00:52:38.250 --> 00:52:43.767 he's older now. He, he's 57 he's older now. And I, I had the option not 00:52:43.800 --> 00:52:50.345 option. I had the opportunity to see a young, young guy with a nice body 00:52:50.378 --> 00:52:53.796 to a guy that's on the heavy side with a big belly and gray hair in his 00:52:53.829 --> 00:52:58.997 head. So I think I'm more just 00:52:59.030 --> 00:53:03.747 ii I love where he at now, you know, II I love just looking at him age and 00:53:03.780 --> 00:53:08.646 the maturity and just the man he's become to be honest, you know. So, but 00:53:08.679 --> 00:53:13.006 yeah, but, but if someone asked me, uh, when I first married him, if this 00:53:13.039 --> 00:53:16.307 was life, no, I would probably told him no, this is I'm marrying a man. I 00:53:16.340 --> 00:53:20.095 love, I don't know how long but he, you know, when I'm a certain age, he 00:53:20.128 --> 00:53:23.675 gonna be old and I may not want to be kicking it with him. Then you know. 00:53:23.708 --> 00:53:28.997 So, but yeah, 00:53:29.030 --> 00:53:32.695 you know what's amazing to me is like when you're 16 you're just not 00:53:32.728 --> 00:53:38.747 usually making the best decision and to actually be able to just fall in 00:53:38.780 --> 00:53:44.767 love with a guy who has the kind of character that, you know, it does the 00:53:44.800 --> 00:53:49.727 right thing and stands by the woman he loves and grows his family and it's 00:53:49.760 --> 00:53:55.276 pretty cool. It really is. But you know what I really, his mom is deceased 00:53:55.309 --> 00:53:59.695 now though, but I give a lot of credit to his mom. Um You know, this girl 00:53:59.728 --> 00:54:04.396 , 16 years old, what I mean? I was lucky that she even let me come there 00:54:04.429 --> 00:54:08.537 to live, you know, um you need to go home to your parents. But now she, 00:54:08.570 --> 00:54:13.345 she, she um um let me come there to live and I, I just embraced their 00:54:13.378 --> 00:54:17.405 family. That was like my family, you know, so, but iii I told my husband, 00:54:17.438 --> 00:54:21.986 I wish she was here today so that I can uh thank her. Um I really do. I 00:54:22.019 --> 00:54:27.345 really would like to uh uh express my gratitude. Um um because my, my home 00:54:27.378 --> 00:54:33.106 life, um my dad, he, he was a drinker, you know, and he just, I just hated 00:54:33.139 --> 00:54:35.885 it there. I mean, he just, he, he was a drinker and then he talked with 00:54:35.918 --> 00:54:40.526 nonsense and, and had these random friends over and stuff. I was just like 00:54:40.559 --> 00:54:45.566 , that's why I, I stayed gone as a teenager. I stayed uh gone a lot and I 00:54:45.599 --> 00:54:49.506 worked at an early age, you know, as, as a result of that, um, I just 00:54:49.539 --> 00:54:52.666 didn't even want to be there. So when I met this guy and I was able to 00:54:52.699 --> 00:54:56.615 come over to his place, you know, I'm just like, hmm, you know, and then 00:54:56.648 --> 00:55:00.146 just took it upon myself and just moved in and he asked, I didn't ask his 00:55:00.179 --> 00:55:05.217 mom and I just moved in. Who does that? 00:55:05.250 --> 00:55:08.577 That's why I need to. I wish she was still alive. I said, oh, my gosh. Oh 00:55:08.610 --> 00:55:13.236 my God. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to just move in your house. But look, 00:55:13.269 --> 00:55:18.126 yeah, I got all your grandkids. But yeah. Is it funny being a mom of girls 00:55:18.159 --> 00:55:21.986 now and thinking about them at 16 when they turn 16, you're like, gosh, I 00:55:22.019 --> 00:55:26.615 haven't met this guy and I had a kid at 17. You know what? My kids are so 00:55:26.648 --> 00:55:31.706 different from me. They, and I'm so glad, um, they're so different from me. 00:55:31.739 --> 00:55:39.135 Um, and as far as, um, I was just a free spirit, you know, I have friends 00:55:39.168 --> 00:55:42.727 or whatever and I just go and, and, and spend nights at their house and 00:55:42.760 --> 00:55:46.365 it's a, and I never got into alcohol or drugs and nothing like that. It 00:55:46.398 --> 00:55:49.885 was just, just me just being gone. I just had to be gone, being with 00:55:49.918 --> 00:55:54.885 friends and my kids because I didn't want them to be like me. They had 00:55:54.918 --> 00:55:59.425 freedom. I gave my kids freedom and, and they didn't take it. Um, and all 00:55:59.458 --> 00:56:03.316 of them, um, um, they didn't really get out and start doing stuff until, 00:56:03.349 --> 00:56:07.885 like, they was like, 1617. That was all their, their age and time frames 00:56:07.918 --> 00:56:11.046 that they went out and, and, um, done stuff with friends or whatever. And 00:56:11.079 --> 00:56:14.247 I'm just like, thank God, I mean, thank God you wouldn't like your mom 00:56:14.280 --> 00:56:16.267 because, I mean, I, I would, there was times where I would leave that 00:56:16.300 --> 00:56:19.497 Friday and come back home Sunday. So, yeah, I did what I wanted to do but 00:56:19.530 --> 00:56:22.666 I never got into trouble though. Never got into job. That's why I say 00:56:22.699 --> 00:56:26.247 looking back, I think it was a blessing that I did meet my husband. Who 00:56:26.280 --> 00:56:30.756 knows what could and would have happened, you know. Um, so II, I thank God 00:56:30.789 --> 00:56:34.717 that I, that I met him, um, he just had a quality in him that I just 00:56:34.750 --> 00:56:42.750 couldn't resist. Good quality. Mhm. That's good. Yeah. Ok. Awesome. I 00:56:43.110 --> 00:56:47.385 think we're good. Ok. Anything else? 00:56:47.418 --> 00:56:51.706 It's a wrap. We're good. 00:56:51.739 --> 00:56:55.250 All righty. I'm hitting this.