WEBVTT 00:03:16.250 --> 00:03:18.250 The primal male instinct is the hunt to reproduce. 00:03:21.189 --> 00:03:25.436 However, it is no longer the male that just does this. The female is out 00:03:25.469 --> 00:03:30.025 and about. And gentlemen beyond guard, the separation of church and state 00:03:30.058 --> 00:03:34.547 has led to all types of foolishness in today's society. For example, I'm 00:03:34.580 --> 00:03:37.085 headed to subway because I'm hungry trying to get a sandwich like a normal 00:03:37.118 --> 00:03:41.297 person. I order the feast. It has all the meats, all the cheeses, all the 00:03:41.330 --> 00:03:45.166 things that make the vegans get icy. So I pull up the cell phone, shoot 00:03:45.199 --> 00:03:49.745 out a text autocorrect and you know what's next? I'm waiting for the 00:03:49.778 --> 00:03:55.055 sandwich and the homies fingers in my hair, but they smell like baloney. I 00:03:55.088 --> 00:03:58.077 used to have an afro. I was just waiting there minding my business and I 00:03:58.110 --> 00:04:01.166 felt these random fingers just crawling through my hair just having its 00:04:01.199 --> 00:04:05.116 way. I look to my six and I see this random girl I've never seen in my 00:04:05.149 --> 00:04:08.505 life and to top it off her best friends over there trying to eat the 00:04:08.538 --> 00:04:12.626 sandwich I just paid for. Now I have a, I'm a dreamer and I have an 00:04:12.659 --> 00:04:15.866 imagination and I was thinking about getting really violent, like taking 00:04:15.899 --> 00:04:20.616 this chick's esophagus and applying some pressure 00:04:20.649 --> 00:04:24.906 or perhaps sticking my fingers in some powder and going but right across 00:04:24.939 --> 00:04:30.366 the face. Pimp slap. Look at me now. Hey, 00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:33.467 nah. But I have etiquette. I'm a gentleman and all bullshit aside. I 00:04:33.500 --> 00:04:37.426 decided to explain what you gotta do to touch your brother's hair. You 00:04:37.459 --> 00:04:43.096 just ask politely and I may oblige you. But 95% of the time I will say no. 00:04:43.129 --> 00:04:47.495 So just be prepared for the worst to avoid any further complications. I 00:04:47.528 --> 00:04:51.955 headed to this braiding shop called Ebony Hair Fair. Two ladies greet me, 00:04:51.988 --> 00:04:56.805 Rhonda and Von Toya, both aspiring strippers. I'm sitting in this chair 00:04:56.838 --> 00:04:59.317 getting my hair braided and they asked me what I do. I tell them, I study 00:04:59.350 --> 00:05:02.687 theater and dance at a su and they're very happy to hear this because 00:05:02.720 --> 00:05:06.666 they've been looking for some pole dancing lessons. I do not know where to 00:05:06.699 --> 00:05:10.455 get those. Please stop asking me. You could assume that my life has 00:05:10.488 --> 00:05:12.856 changed dramatically after sitting in this chair getting my hair braided 00:05:12.889 --> 00:05:20.336 by these two lovely females. 00:05:20.369 --> 00:05:28.369 No, no, 00:05:30.899 --> 00:05:35.796 n 00:05:35.829 --> 00:05:43.829 no sabre sabre. 00:05:49.528 --> 00:05:57.528 No. 00:06:01.319 --> 00:06:06.606 Um 00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:09.637 No, no, no, no. 00:06:09.670 --> 00:06:17.670 Oh yeah, so nana but no, no, no, no said I it 00:06:29.939 --> 00:06:34.176 and uh 00:06:34.209 --> 00:06:38.437 um 00:06:38.470 --> 00:06:46.470 uh 00:06:47.048 --> 00:06:53.757 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 00:06:53.790 --> 00:06:59.046 no, no. 00:06:59.079 --> 00:07:01.546 And then 00:07:01.579 --> 00:07:06.416 um uh um 00:07:06.449 --> 00:07:08.986 and then 00:07:09.019 --> 00:07:17.019 sma 00:07:19.970 --> 00:07:26.526 and I was like, oh and I was like, oh da da da da, da. Kids from decay. No. 00:07:26.559 --> 00:07:32.507 No. Crea. Wow. 00:07:32.540 --> 00:07:40.540 Mhm. 00:07:40.939 --> 00:07:48.939 No, no, no, 00:07:59.449 --> 00:08:05.467 I ride my bike a lot. I ride it from my house to school, from school to my 00:08:05.500 --> 00:08:08.846 house. Sometimes it takes on the light rail. I ride it all over the place. 00:08:08.879 --> 00:08:11.455 Um, but there was a long period of time where I didn't ride my bike at 00:08:11.488 --> 00:08:17.257 all. Yeah. That's real funny. And it's because I fell off of it and broke 00:08:17.290 --> 00:08:23.145 my wrist when I was in fourth grade and I did this becau not because, but 00:08:23.178 --> 00:08:27.757 I was going down a hill and my brother was with me and he was on 00:08:27.790 --> 00:08:31.447 rollerblades and we tried, I tried to go around him so that he would grab 00:08:31.480 --> 00:08:36.157 onto the back of my bike and, like, skate down this hill behind me really 00:08:36.190 --> 00:08:40.986 fast. But I ended up accidentally hitting my front tire on his calf and 00:08:41.019 --> 00:08:47.496 then flying over the handlebars. And, uh, and it, like, I had big dents in 00:08:47.529 --> 00:08:51.596 my helmet and my bike was all messed up. 00:08:51.629 --> 00:08:56.667 Right. And my wrist was all messed up and my face was all messed up. And, 00:08:56.700 --> 00:09:01.307 um, so I didn't ride my bike for a long time after that. And then when I 00:09:01.340 --> 00:09:05.625 got to college and I needed to ride my bike to school every day, it was a 00:09:05.658 --> 00:09:10.385 little bit scary because I didn't want to fall off of it. But it turns out 00:09:10.418 --> 00:09:16.826 that I fall off my bike a lot. It just kind of happens. And so, um it 00:09:16.859 --> 00:09:19.946 seems like I shouldn't fall off because I'm a dancer and I have pretty 00:09:19.979 --> 00:09:25.496 good balance. But for some reason, I just am really clumsy on a bike. And 00:09:25.529 --> 00:09:30.076 so now I just kind of stay away from the edges of roads so that when I do 00:09:30.109 --> 00:09:35.456 fall off, I don't fall into a road and I fall onto a sidewalk. That's my 00:09:35.489 --> 00:09:43.489 life plan. 00:09:53.979 --> 00:10:01.979 Come 00:10:02.029 --> 00:10:10.029 on. UN 00:10:16.178 --> 00:10:24.178 s 00:10:35.808 --> 00:10:39.177 I 00:10:39.210 --> 00:10:41.226 plan 00:10:41.259 --> 00:10:45.196 to hold on, hold on. This is not making, this is not making sense. Let me 00:10:45.229 --> 00:10:48.765 tell you again. So I grew up speaking Spanish, right? But then I moved to 00:10:48.798 --> 00:10:51.797 the US. So I learned how to speak English. And there was this girl in my 00:10:51.830 --> 00:10:55.037 eighth grade class who would always try to speak Spanish, but I thought it 00:10:55.070 --> 00:10:58.787 was very, very, very rude because not everybody speaks Spanish, right? But 00:10:58.820 --> 00:11:02.946 then, but then I will try to speak English but she will insist and she 00:11:02.979 --> 00:11:05.956 will like go on and on and on and on, and on, and on, and on, and on and 00:11:05.989 --> 00:11:10.167 on and on. But then yeah, so I will try to like speak English all the time. 00:11:10.200 --> 00:11:13.525 So like everybody can be inclusive and they can be like engaged in the 00:11:13.558 --> 00:11:19.486 conversation and they can jump in. So, yeah, I like speak in English. 00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:22.446 Huh? 00:11:22.479 --> 00:11:30.479 It's a lovely spring afternoon, isn't it? 00:11:48.779 --> 00:11:52.505 There's this Japanese tradition that my mother, no, I lie sorry, my 00:11:52.538 --> 00:11:58.856 grandmother told me about, hm. It's how to bathe 00:11:58.889 --> 00:12:03.255 in Japan. The mom makes a bath. But the person that actually gets to take 00:12:03.288 --> 00:12:11.246 the bath first is the eldest male in the family. 00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:16.157 Then that usually is the grandfather. So it goes to the father after that. 00:12:16.190 --> 00:12:24.190 And it follows as the eldest son, next eldest son on and on. And then it 00:12:24.219 --> 00:12:29.037 goes to the eldest female, which is usually the grandmother. Then it skips 00:12:29.070 --> 00:12:34.407 the mom and goes to the eldest daughter, next eldest daughter. 00:12:34.440 --> 00:12:40.496 And finally on the bottom of the list is the mom. And by this time, the 00:12:40.529 --> 00:12:46.446 bath water is kinda gross. So you have to scoop up the top layer to 00:12:46.479 --> 00:12:53.885 actually get in. But that's just the way it is. The order in Japanese goes 00:12:53.918 --> 00:13:04.158 sofu. Jan Jan San sos Sobo Jojo, Sanjo, Taiki ha ha na.