WEBVTT 00:15:07.859 --> 00:15:09.859 The primal male instinct is to hunt and reproduce. However, it is no 00:15:12.649 --> 00:15:16.145 longer the male that does this, the female is out and about. So gentlemen 00:15:16.178 --> 00:15:20.547 , be on guard. The separation of church and state has led to all types of 00:15:20.580 --> 00:15:24.856 foolishness in today's society. For example, I'm heading to subway just 00:15:24.889 --> 00:15:28.145 trying to get a sandwich like a normal person. The feast, it has all the 00:15:28.178 --> 00:15:31.907 meats, all the cheeses, all the things that make the vegans get hye. So I 00:15:31.940 --> 00:15:35.826 pull out the cell phone, shoot out a text autocorrect and you know what's 00:15:35.859 --> 00:15:39.986 next? I'm waiting for the sandwich and the homies, these fingers in my 00:15:40.019 --> 00:15:42.927 hair that smell like bologna. 00:15:42.960 --> 00:15:46.275 I'm over there minding my business waiting for a sandwich like a normal 00:15:46.308 --> 00:15:49.696 citizen would do. And then these regular, these fingers are just crawling 00:15:49.729 --> 00:15:53.467 into my hair. It used to be an afro by the way and it just, you know, 00:15:53.500 --> 00:15:56.307 grabbing and doing their thing. And I don't realize this for a while 00:15:56.340 --> 00:16:00.236 because I'm just in my zone. I turn to my six and I see this random girl 00:16:00.269 --> 00:16:03.986 that I've never seen in my life and her best friend is trying to sneak a 00:16:04.019 --> 00:16:07.316 bite out of the sandwich. So I just paid for it like I don't see her there 00:16:07.349 --> 00:16:10.807 and I have an imagination. I'm a dreamer and I had these violent images 00:16:10.840 --> 00:16:14.186 come into play, like just grabbing the esophagus and applying some type of 00:16:14.219 --> 00:16:17.576 pressure of some kind, you know, just let her go down to the ground real 00:16:17.609 --> 00:16:21.407 easy. Like or maybe just putting my hand in some powder and just going 00:16:21.440 --> 00:16:25.186 down. Look at me now. 00:16:25.219 --> 00:16:28.885 But nah, I'm a gentleman. I'm a good person, you know, at heart. So all 00:16:28.918 --> 00:16:33.177 bullshit aside. I decided to explain the etiquette of being a good person. 00:16:33.210 --> 00:16:37.849 You know, like you have some home training. Maybe you should just ask. 00:16:38.178 --> 00:16:40.178 Probably not. No, I probably wouldn't have let him touch it. But it's cool 00:16:40.369 --> 00:16:42.125 though. It's cool though because, you know, at least they would have got 00:16:42.158 --> 00:16:46.015 an answer. So to avoid any further complications, I decided this will 00:16:46.048 --> 00:16:48.816 never happen again. I go to this braiding shop. It's called Ebony Hair 00:16:48.849 --> 00:16:54.765 Affair. I'm greeted by two women, Von Toya and Rhonda. Both aspiring 00:16:54.798 --> 00:16:58.157 strippers. How do I know this? And I'm sitting in a chair and they're like 00:16:58.190 --> 00:17:01.395 , what do you do? Well, I'm a dancer at a su I major in dance and they're 00:17:01.428 --> 00:17:03.446 like, oh, that's cool. Do you know where you could get pole dancing 00:17:03.479 --> 00:17:08.516 lessons from? Not offhand or anything like that? Two hours in that chair? 00:17:08.549 --> 00:17:11.256 Just getting my hair braided? You could assume my life has changed 00:17:11.289 --> 00:17:16.206 dramatically. 00:17:16.239 --> 00:17:24.239 Sing, sing. 00:17:38.670 --> 00:17:42.795 No, 00:17:42.828 --> 00:17:50.828 no, no. It's just like, no, no. 00:17:56.430 --> 00:18:01.686 See, I, 00:18:01.719 --> 00:18:04.285 um, 00:18:04.318 --> 00:18:06.506 um, 00:18:06.539 --> 00:18:10.516 uh, 00:18:10.549 --> 00:18:18.549 uh, 00:18:27.588 --> 00:18:35.588 sl, 00:18:44.838 --> 00:18:52.838 oh, no. 00:18:55.039 --> 00:19:00.127 Well, 00:19:00.160 --> 00:19:07.986 the 00:19:08.019 --> 00:19:13.696 next day 00:19:13.729 --> 00:19:21.729 thank you to, 00:19:24.578 --> 00:19:32.578 mm, 00:19:40.309 --> 00:19:43.666 I usually tell them 00:19:43.699 --> 00:19:49.416 but I can't, so 00:19:49.449 --> 00:19:52.335 I, to get closer 00:19:52.368 --> 00:20:00.368 louder says the same thing. Um, 00:20:02.059 --> 00:20:09.226 I think a lot of we used to get to places they bit. I drive my car, I ride 00:20:09.259 --> 00:20:17.259 the light rail, took with us. It's not my favorite, but I do not 00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:29.535 think about transportation. 00:20:29.568 --> 00:20:36.357 You're only getting from one place to another. That's it. And really I 00:20:36.390 --> 00:20:43.016 could walk or I could run, I could be forced gone one second. 00:20:43.049 --> 00:20:49.956 But I don't. And so I usually just bite. I have lots of Viking stories 00:20:49.989 --> 00:20:56.756 stories and 00:20:56.789 --> 00:21:01.147 I'm not going to tell them. So you said a micro 00:21:01.180 --> 00:21:09.180 No, I have to get back to the insane. 00:21:36.180 --> 00:21:42.476 Ok. I'm not taking the vehicle tablet for your 00:21:42.509 --> 00:21:45.075 no 00:21:45.108 --> 00:21:53.108 1000. Need us me. 00:21:57.650 --> 00:22:00.416 Yeah, 00:22:00.449 --> 00:22:05.315 we have two. 00:22:05.348 --> 00:22:13.348 Hey, this is your foot. It 11. So that's the experience 00:22:19.519 --> 00:22:24.565 speaking in Spanish 00:22:24.598 --> 00:22:31.226 that yes, I speak English and they in my day, three classes, we always try 00:22:31.259 --> 00:22:36.516 to Spanish. But I thought it was really good because nobody else. Time is 00:22:36.549 --> 00:22:43.217 right. Right. So yeah, so I always speak English but you will 00:22:43.250 --> 00:22:48.936 only I thought it was really, really rude because friends with Spanish in 00:22:48.969 --> 00:22:55.535 English. 00:22:55.568 --> 00:23:03.568 My check for you. 00:23:11.309 --> 00:23:19.309 Hm. 00:23:27.449 --> 00:23:31.506 There's this Japanese tradition that my grandmother told me about a long 00:23:31.539 --> 00:23:35.486 time ago and uh, 00:23:35.519 --> 00:23:37.857 how to bat 00:23:37.890 --> 00:23:41.406 the person that makes the bath is your mom 00:23:41.439 --> 00:23:46.285 that actually gets to take a bath first is, uh, the smell in the family. 00:23:46.318 --> 00:23:54.318 That's usually the grandfather. Um, 00:23:57.140 --> 00:24:02.516 then he goes to the father, the eldest son, the next eldest son. If you 00:24:02.549 --> 00:24:07.295 get younger, they are more of 00:24:07.328 --> 00:24:14.887 eldest female, which is usually the grandma. Your mom. I go to the elder, 00:24:14.920 --> 00:24:17.726 the next eldest daughter. 00:24:17.759 --> 00:24:21.565 That's fine to 00:24:21.598 --> 00:24:29.598 take it back. But by this side it's really gross on the top. You have to. 00:24:30.088 --> 00:24:32.406 No, 00:24:32.439 --> 00:24:40.439 it's really gross. But that's the way it is. And the orange Japanese is so 00:24:44.348 --> 00:24:52.348 so, 00:25:12.420 --> 00:25:14.489 and his.