Good evening. My name is Beth and I am the founder and director of Q Speak
Theater. Q Speak is the Valley's only theater program for youth ages 14 to
22 who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and question. This
season Q has been collaborating with Lindsay Bauer to incorporate dance
and communicating and performing stories of LGBT Qu. The 1st 20 minutes
you will see tonight is part of a larger production of Q theater. The
stories you will see are true stories and experiences of youth living in
the valley. Though the youth performing may not be performing their oldest
stories. QE was founded in July 2005 in a series of workshops and in 2006
became a partner program of one in 10 inc in Glisson, Phoenix and is
supported in part by arts work here at Arizona State University. Myself
and other representatives from Q people be in the lobby following site
performance. If you have any questions, you want more information, we are
very excited to be part of your experience tonight. Thank you so much,
driving home from school.
Even though I'm out at school, I can't truly be myself. And there are
people who know, but who won't accept me. It still burns. But I read the
phrase that's so gay or she died.
But in the car, I can be free and entertained, I can say whatever I want.
I also know I'm really lucky because at home I can truly be myself.
My room is my inspiration, black cloth, dripping candles, hunt grams and
fairies get carefully arranged with clear attention to detail. My room is
Gothic Feng Shui and I do my best work there. It's a place that I feel
more at peace than anywhere else. One am in the morning, I'm too scared to
sleep. Be safe and protected, especially the one Alex gave me. I hate it
here, Alex's house is more of a home to me than my own.
No one hits me there. It tells me I says you're not my daughter. This
place sucks is the only place that I can escape until they take that away
from me too night. I have to lay in bed and stare at the ceiling when I'm
at home. I'm just the straight boy who doesn't have a girlfriend for some
o for some odd reason. So I don't step out of my room in my house which is
fine. I love my,
I find it really difficult to be strong with my parents. As long as I'm in
my room, I'm fine. But as soon as I step into the rest of the house. It's
like control of me. Like I can't do what I want or tell them no, he at
home. I don't get much freedom. I can't ever be completely wild and crazy.
I'm definitely not believe me at church. Gay and L DS. You do the math at
home. My parents don't know. So I stay in my room. I don't even ride,
sitting apart with my family in church. I need that time to myself. I just
wanna be able to do things on my own without having my parents sitting
there telling me you need to move out. You need to get a job. I don't
wanna be them. I don't want to miss out on opportunities to have fun with
my life and I do not want to end up being the bitter old queen. I didn't
think about being gay until I was 14. My sister called me and I guess it
really hit me as to what I was. You could say the door was open but still
la
right here fall into a consistent routine. Same thing
on the way to church every Sunday. I blast, taught music and sing and
dance and make a complete myself to all the people. Like he looks amazing.
One time I was driving to church. I seen crazy new chapel windows.
I think my physical being changes more depending on who I'm around rather
than the place.
Hey guys, how's third hour for everyone. Yeah, mine was kind of boring.
Today. We always sit at these metal tables painted black. We've been
sitting there since the beginning of junior year. We've all known each
other since seventh grade. And they've kind of been like, my only friends
this day I remember was a Thursday because we're all talking about the
weekly get together. The L DS church had every Wednesday night. We all
went to the same church and the Wednesday night group. Hey, you guys get
this, get this. I got a new one. Guess what? What if the fat exceed the
chicken? We're gonna get a little cocker on here. That's a little gross.
I don't know. I tell him a bunch last night. It's just nasty. It's like
some kind of nasty disease or something or like a disorder they usually
put in and then they have other people like me and they can get help
together. Really? I just don't understand why we have to talk about it on
Sunday. School classes.
You are an idiot. Gee.
Ok. Article, a new area. Do you want it? The new era is an L DS magazine.
I don't remember specifically what the article said, but it was about this
girl who had rid herself of her homosexuality.
I remember being in shock and that all, I don't remember what I said, but
it must have been a negative response because my friends changed the
subject and I didn't get the article,
you guys that you come in or what? They're in a bed. Yeah.
Just never really had friends, you know. So when my Sunday school teacher
decided to pick homosexuality as a topic, I finally found a way to fit in.
All my friends were mocking and cracking jokes about this horrible sin.
And I felt really uncomfortable at first, but once they started to join in
, I just couldn't stop. People were listening to me, I was making people
laugh this week has been great because for the first time in my life, all
these friends that I grew up with actually say hi to me at school and I
have all these new friends.
God, I just wanna be someone else sometimes. You know,
that was when I was 15, about three years later, I left my religion and I
saw these same friends cause I don't know, I guess they seem important to
me. And right now where I am in my life is that I need people in my life.
So there you have it and I have protect my own identity. Like going to
places like one in 10 or Q speaker can be who I really am. Gay. 18 year
old guy Kirk comes too sometimes
but we never really talk.
No sitting in Sunday school. Our teacher used to tell us to rise above the
stress. Now there is a mountain by my house and I know this sounds
ridiculous. But after Britney Point. You're just, oh,
like,
you know,
you would always want to go through fires. You, but you never know the,
we stopped,
like,
go,
yeah. Yeah.
I'll try, like, gravity. I'm lying. High defying gravity. And you can't
hold me down.
My high school choir and I were invited to sing Carnegie Hall last spring
. I was 15 when I auditioned for my first community theater show. I was
nervous. The first time I stood alone on stage was when I was 14 at Apollo
High School, I had an audition. I've never been on stage before to speak
theater. I didn't think I could do this in front of people, but it's
amazing. I had one director that just totally made me doubt myself as an
actor. And I just thought maybe this isn't something I should do when it
first walked out alone, the stage was so cold and empty. I didn't think
people would listen. I really didn't know what I was doing. I got into it
. I felt warmer and more comfortable when we first landed in New York and
walked in. I was a little disappointed. I mean, it looked like any other
performance hall backstage that have been in. But when we lined up in the
wings, the door to the stage is like glow. And when we finally walked on
stage, I was pregnant. Everything looks so golden and magical. So the room
echoed amazingly when we began to sing and the room gets quiet because
people do wanna listen to and it feels so good to finally be listened to
and it feels so safe to be on stage. Like the stage becomes mine. Like I
just belong up here. That trip inspired me so much because I know that
some of my favorite singers sing on that same stage. And I might wanna try
this again ever since that first time I just wanna get my face out there.
This is a place where I feel inspired to my voice and show my soul to the
world.
Met her. OK. Together we're, and then it turned. But
my presence and physicality are different. Just like places like one in 10
are Q speak. I can be who I really am and I'm very out about it. I'm
different at school though that people harass me for a while. I change my
walk wherever I may be when I go to concerts or shows or the mall or
something. I tend to walk with my head hot looking people in the eyes
trying to stand up, tell them be noticed. It's like you have to choose
whether or not to say true to yourself. And sometimes that's not always
possible where people fuck it up for you.
When I was 17, I worked in a department store, I'd come out when I was 16
, but only a few of my work knew that I was gay. Christina knew and Joey
that here is my last day today.
I'm calling at Blockbuster in this place.
Absolutely. Have you, Tyler? Some, uh, free raffles and maybe some micro
ma? Yeah, I'm getting to,
I don't really like Mi and I too bad
sometimes you freeze, you wanna stay true to yourself. But yeah,
last summer Leadership Summit in Washington DC in A, from all over four of
us to a room, most of the other participants were conservative. And even
though I express my work, I made sure to conceal my sexual identity. And
on the last night of the summit, there was a group of girls in the their
life back home, they turned to me and asked me if I had a boyfriend, not
only did I lie, they made up an anniversary,
what did he look like and what we did for? And after that, they, they
betray me more like one of them.
I cried myself. And the next morning I caught an early bus to the airport
to avoid talking to those girls ever.
He thinks there must be places where people aren't stupid, be who you are
, but you learn to keep to yourself just to protect yourself. I'll change
my walk wherever I will be my physical presence, my walk, it's who I am
right now in this moment and it could change in an instance. Yes, I tend
to be more of a throng and I walk through the halls of my destination in
mind to simply try to get there as quickly and as easily as possible.
I don't really have any friends at school anymore. None that I trust my
best friend out. Shoot everyone. Like at school doesn't improve. You learn
to do what you have to do a fair way.
What we're going be it. Sorry? What? Can't hear you is your mouth full.
Yeah, I'm a baggage sp you. Yeah, maybe that's just what you need your bag.
I'm not leaving until you repeat my locker. I'll stay here all night until
you get someone here. This isn't ok.
Why is this? Ok,
I have rights and I'm more than happy to get some other people here to
make sure you know what those rights are. I'm not leaving until you fix
this. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving.
Yeah.
Yeah,
it's all right.
Ok.
What?
No.
Ok and
ok.
Ok.
You know.
Ok. No.
Yeah.
Ok,
we are see I am
and,
and
yeah,
yeah
is
ok.
No, no, no
bye
mama.
Mhm.
That
it is on.
Uh 000
the
no they're not.
Mm.
Um.