WEBVTT 00:00:00.009 --> 00:00:04.426 I have it. I have it here because I got the thing. This is Forest Elise 00:00:04.459 --> 00:00:11.085 interviewing Deborah Mas on June 14th, 2016 at 5:30 p.m. for the creative 00:00:11.118 --> 00:00:13.726 push project. 00:00:13.759 --> 00:00:19.837 All right. So let me get done making some noise. OK. Yeah. Get settled. OK. 00:00:19.870 --> 00:00:23.986 So can you take us back to the conception of your first? Like what was 00:00:24.019 --> 00:00:30.747 the circumstance? Yeah. It was kind of really interesting. I was, had been 00:00:30.780 --> 00:00:35.426 married for a few years and the pregnancy was totally planned. We had 00:00:35.459 --> 00:00:39.496 decided when we got married that we would have two Children and that we 00:00:39.529 --> 00:00:43.565 didn't care if they were two boys, two girls or a boy and a girl. And we 00:00:43.598 --> 00:00:48.146 pretty much planned the time that they would be born. So we were really 00:00:48.179 --> 00:00:53.695 trying to have a baby at the time. And the most interesting thing I think 00:00:53.728 --> 00:01:01.728 about my conception was I felt it, I felt in my body. It was tiny, little 00:01:03.310 --> 00:01:08.456 magical electric things that happened. It, I guess you could describe it 00:01:08.489 --> 00:01:13.757 as almost an explosion. And um I think I was just really lucky to have 00:01:13.790 --> 00:01:18.066 felt that I think that happens a lot that we just don't get a chance to 00:01:18.099 --> 00:01:23.516 feel it every time. So I was very lucky and I felt that, um, with my first 00:01:23.549 --> 00:01:29.456 child, were you using any sort of like, um, ovulation kits or anything 00:01:29.489 --> 00:01:36.555 like that? Yeah. Well, we kind of did the calendar thing. So we knew, um, 00:01:36.588 --> 00:01:42.367 marking my periods when I would be most fertile. So, um we used condoms 00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:45.936 all other times, like I said, we just totally planned this. So when we 00:01:45.969 --> 00:01:49.066 decided to not use birth control, we knew we were going to be trying to 00:01:49.099 --> 00:01:55.837 have a baby. So we just used the calendar. So um you knew at the time of 00:01:55.870 --> 00:02:02.717 conception, but you didn't officially know. No, but I knew you. It's, it 00:02:02.750 --> 00:02:07.617 just was undeniable and in my head my whole body, I just, I knew that 00:02:07.650 --> 00:02:12.376 that's exactly what I felt. Did you tell your husband? Yeah, I told him, I 00:02:12.409 --> 00:02:18.696 said, oh my gosh, I just became pregnant and he just probably rolled over 00:02:18.729 --> 00:02:23.237 and snored. He did, you know, he probably didn't really think that I was 00:02:23.270 --> 00:02:30.805 telling the truth, but I knew so. So did you wait for like a lot of times 00:02:30.838 --> 00:02:37.177 on the pregnancy test? I didn't um I started feeling sick right away. So a 00:02:37.210 --> 00:02:42.106 few days later I started feeling ill and it kind of confirmed to me that I 00:02:42.139 --> 00:02:47.275 was pregnant and um I don't think I bought No, I did not. I did not buy a 00:02:47.308 --> 00:02:50.366 pregnancy kit or anything like that. I just made a doctor's appointment 00:02:50.399 --> 00:02:56.396 and went to my doctor. So, did you, um, since you had spent time thinking 00:02:56.429 --> 00:03:01.207 about being pregnant and planning for it, had you thought about the kind 00:03:01.240 --> 00:03:06.286 of pregnancy you were gonna have or the kind of birth you wanted or? Well 00:03:06.319 --> 00:03:10.686 , I think, I thought about it but I probably thought about it more in like 00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:17.225 a magical dreamy state. not what was really gonna happen. So, um I 00:03:17.258 --> 00:03:20.467 probably thought, oh, I'll just grow this human being inside of me and 00:03:20.500 --> 00:03:24.297 everything's going to be perfect and I'm going to feel like superwoman and 00:03:24.330 --> 00:03:29.186 I'm going to give birth to this perfect baby and, you know, then I started 00:03:29.219 --> 00:03:33.797 throwing up every day. I lost about 10 or £15. 00:03:33.830 --> 00:03:41.386 Um I was probably about got down to about 100 and £4 just from being sick 00:03:41.419 --> 00:03:46.725 so much and it was the worst feeling in the world. It's the worst I've 00:03:46.758 --> 00:03:52.585 ever felt in my whole life. So, but I was happy to be pregnant. Were your 00:03:52.618 --> 00:03:59.055 doctors concerned that the doctors were, my doctor was a bit concerned 00:03:59.088 --> 00:04:05.177 about me being so ill and losing so much weight. Um He told me that if I 00:04:05.210 --> 00:04:10.427 continued with, you know, the severity of the nausea and the actually 00:04:10.460 --> 00:04:15.866 getting sick that I would probably have to be hospitalized. Um just for 00:04:15.899 --> 00:04:23.356 fear of being um losing being dehydrated and things like that. So, um, I 00:04:23.389 --> 00:04:28.205 really tried my hardest to nibble on little crackers and I read and, and 00:04:28.238 --> 00:04:32.866 asked everybody I knew what can I do to make myself feel better? So, I got 00:04:32.899 --> 00:04:37.476 all kinds of answers to that question. So some people told me I needed to 00:04:37.509 --> 00:04:42.846 smoke a joint, but I didn't want to do that while I was pregnant. But some 00:04:42.879 --> 00:04:45.116 people told me that while they were pregnant and they were sick, they 00:04:45.149 --> 00:04:49.877 would smoke pot and it made themselves feel better. So, um, peppermint tea 00:04:49.910 --> 00:04:55.127 ginger, I mean, all kinds of, you know, wives tales to feel better, but 00:04:55.160 --> 00:05:01.176 nothing helped. So did you ultimately put on, put on weight? I put on a 00:05:01.209 --> 00:05:09.209 total of £20. So I weighed 100 and £24 when I gave birth to her. So, um, I 00:05:10.389 --> 00:05:15.096 weigh £10 more than that now. So, you know, I think about that and I think 00:05:15.129 --> 00:05:19.145 , wow, I weighed 100 and £24 when I gave birth. I was nine months pregnant 00:05:19.178 --> 00:05:24.137 and gave birth to her, but she, the doctor told me that she would probably 00:05:24.170 --> 00:05:30.187 , well, we didn't know she was a she but told me that the baby would be 00:05:30.220 --> 00:05:34.887 fine that the babies have a way of taking their nourishment from your body 00:05:34.920 --> 00:05:42.920 , whether you want them to or not. So I lost hair. I had bad gums. I mean 00:05:43.040 --> 00:05:48.286 , it really affected my body. But um, she was fine and healthy when she 00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:55.567 was born. So, did you take any, um, you know, um, classes, preliminary 00:05:55.600 --> 00:05:59.166 classes, prenatal classes, that kind of thing. Yeah, I did the, the, the 00:05:59.199 --> 00:06:04.705 old fashioned LAMAs class and, um, learned how to breathe while I was in 00:06:04.738 --> 00:06:09.377 labor. And, uh, the funny thing is, is that, that breathing technique has 00:06:09.410 --> 00:06:14.447 helped me over the years. So, anytime I've ever felt, um, in pain or 00:06:14.480 --> 00:06:18.895 needed to calm myself down, I just, um, use my LAMAs breathing method 00:06:18.928 --> 00:06:25.166 still. So it works for me. Um Were you working throughout your pregnancy? 00:06:25.199 --> 00:06:30.377 I had to quit work because I was so sick that there was just no way I 00:06:30.410 --> 00:06:37.416 could sit and work because I was constantly in the bathroom, either dry 00:06:37.449 --> 00:06:44.036 heaving or throwing up. So, did you have a support network? I did. My mom 00:06:44.069 --> 00:06:47.526 helped me throughout my pregnancy. She just, I think she mostly just felt 00:06:47.559 --> 00:06:51.705 bad for me that I think she wished she could take that sickness feeling 00:06:51.738 --> 00:06:56.947 away from me. But, um, there was really not much anyone could do just, you 00:06:56.980 --> 00:07:01.805 know, be there, you know, and I'm so glad I won't have to see my son 00:07:01.838 --> 00:07:05.116 pregnant. No. 00:07:05.149 --> 00:07:11.366 Um, so had you known that you were gonna go to the hospital to give birth 00:07:11.399 --> 00:07:16.526 ? Yes. We had it all planned and we did the LAMAs classes and we signed up 00:07:16.559 --> 00:07:21.305 and, um, preregistered for the hospital so that everything would be ready 00:07:21.338 --> 00:07:26.075 to go once we got there. Were you nervous? What was your expectation? Did 00:07:26.108 --> 00:07:29.817 your mom tell you what to expect? I wish my mom had told me more because I 00:07:29.850 --> 00:07:34.937 don't think my mom uh really remembered giving birth to me or my brother. 00:07:34.970 --> 00:07:38.687 I mean, I think she remembered but I don't know, she didn't describe it in 00:07:38.720 --> 00:07:42.007 detail. So I really didn't know what to expect. And when you talk to 00:07:42.040 --> 00:07:46.567 people, when you're pregnant, you hear all kinds of horror stories and 00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:51.257 usually you hear the worst like labor for 24 hours or, you know, c 00:07:51.290 --> 00:07:55.426 sections or the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck or, I mean, so I 00:07:55.459 --> 00:08:01.507 was terrified. I mean, I was just worried and anxious and terrified. Had 00:08:01.540 --> 00:08:07.757 you thought about whether you would want an epidural or I was clueless on 00:08:07.790 --> 00:08:11.495 that because I've heard of those things, but my doctor was very old 00:08:11.528 --> 00:08:18.745 fashioned. So I had no sonogram or nothing like that. Um, he didn't do peo 00:08:18.778 --> 00:08:23.586 or anything like that. He just wanted you to have your baby as natural as 00:08:23.619 --> 00:08:28.166 possible. And, um, so when people talked about those things, I really 00:08:28.199 --> 00:08:32.635 didn't know what they were talking about because my doctor didn't mention 00:08:32.668 --> 00:08:36.746 those types of things to me. So you had just expected that you would go 00:08:36.779 --> 00:08:42.307 through labor naturally and have a baby in the hospital. Right. Right. And 00:08:42.340 --> 00:08:46.186 your doctor was definitely going to deliver you. I was hoping. So I kept 00:08:46.219 --> 00:08:49.025 getting worried that he would go out of town or something like that. And 00:08:49.058 --> 00:08:54.125 so that just fueled some of that anxiety and nervousness and, and being 00:08:54.158 --> 00:08:58.316 scared um because he had been with me through the whole pregnancy and I 00:08:58.349 --> 00:09:04.797 just wanted him there to deliver my baby. So yeah, it was scary. So maybe 00:09:04.830 --> 00:09:09.177 you can take us to the time around the delivery then you know what that um 00:09:09.210 --> 00:09:13.967 what that was like. Well, um when I went into labor it was about three 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:19.635 o'clock in the morning. And, um, I remember I really wanted to take a 00:09:19.668 --> 00:09:23.255 shower and wash my hair and shave my legs because I didn't want to be 00:09:23.288 --> 00:09:28.366 there laid out on this table with, you know, hairy legs and unwashed hair. 00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:34.456 So, um, I took a shower and washed my hair and did all that. I think I 00:09:34.489 --> 00:09:38.946 might even put on some makeup. I can't remember. But, um, anyway, I went 00:09:38.979 --> 00:09:43.797 back to bed after that and just laid there counting how many minutes were 00:09:43.830 --> 00:09:47.547 in between my labor pains. And, uh, when it came time to go to the 00:09:47.580 --> 00:09:55.196 hospital, um, I worried again because the hospital was about 35 minutes 00:09:55.229 --> 00:10:00.196 away from where I lived. So I kept having these panic attacks thinking 00:10:00.229 --> 00:10:07.467 that I would have to deliver along the way in a car or, you know, 00:10:07.500 --> 00:10:12.755 alongside the road or something like that. But I made it to the hospital 00:10:12.788 --> 00:10:16.275 and when I got there, they weigh you and they put you in a room and they 00:10:16.308 --> 00:10:22.346 put you in a gown and all of that. And back then, um, in 89 the hospital I 00:10:22.379 --> 00:10:28.307 went to still shaved you. So I can just remember that this was the 00:10:28.340 --> 00:10:33.525 beginning of me feeling really just out there, you know, strangers were 00:10:33.558 --> 00:10:38.895 shaving my vagina and I was just, what is going on and did I sign up for 00:10:38.928 --> 00:10:43.976 all of this? You know, So I started to feel a little, I don't know what 00:10:44.009 --> 00:10:49.145 the word is. Like, not embarrassed or ashamed, but just really just put 00:10:49.178 --> 00:10:55.255 out there, you know. And, um, so they shaved me and they've hooked me up 00:10:55.288 --> 00:10:59.525 to a couple of things and just left me in the room to continue with my 00:10:59.558 --> 00:11:06.086 labor. Um, I was ok during labor for the most part, it felt like really, 00:11:06.119 --> 00:11:11.836 really bad period cramps. And I can remember my doctor sticking his head 00:11:11.869 --> 00:11:16.635 in and saying, uh, at some point, you're gonna start feeling some real 00:11:16.668 --> 00:11:22.167 pain. I'm glad that you're still smiling and able to talk, but pretty soon 00:11:22.200 --> 00:11:26.706 you're not going to be able to. And that really kind of scared me. But, um 00:11:26.739 --> 00:11:30.677 , it was true, you know, it was true what he said. So after a while it 00:11:30.710 --> 00:11:35.946 started to hurt pretty bad and then I can remember asking for pain 00:11:35.979 --> 00:11:40.616 medicine and they kind of just said, well, we'll see, you know, we'll come 00:11:40.649 --> 00:11:47.145 back to you and finally, uh, the pain was pretty severe and I said, I 00:11:47.178 --> 00:11:50.866 think I really need some pain medicine or something. And the nurse came in 00:11:50.899 --> 00:11:54.866 and she said, you know, you'll be able to do this, you've got your LAMAs 00:11:54.899 --> 00:11:59.265 and it's too late for you to have any pain medicine. Um, apparently I had 00:11:59.298 --> 00:12:07.298 dilated a little bit farther than they had expected. 00:12:11.418 --> 00:12:17.336 So, um, I wanted some pain medicine but they had told me that it was that 00:12:17.369 --> 00:12:22.015 it was too late for that. And, um, so then I realized I was going to have 00:12:22.048 --> 00:12:29.375 to give birth with no pain medicine. So in my mind, I was thinking about 00:12:29.408 --> 00:12:34.346 how many women that I know that have had babies and they're still alive 00:12:34.379 --> 00:12:40.427 because I thought I might die from the pain. So I would tell myself, you 00:12:40.460 --> 00:12:43.917 know, so and so had a baby and they lived and so, and so had a baby and 00:12:43.950 --> 00:12:47.287 they lived. So I think I can survive this. And then I started thinking of 00:12:47.320 --> 00:12:49.927 the really wimpy people. I know that had babies and I'm like, well, she's 00:12:49.960 --> 00:12:53.505 a wimp, she can't even handle a cold and she had a baby. So I should be 00:12:53.538 --> 00:12:58.157 able to handle this. And then I started thinking farther back like, well, 00:12:58.190 --> 00:13:02.456 native Americans used to have babies just out in the forest or wherever 00:13:02.489 --> 00:13:06.395 they live and, you know, they had no pain medicine. So, or maybe they did 00:13:06.428 --> 00:13:11.096 . I don't know. So I thought I can do this. So I really talked myself into 00:13:11.129 --> 00:13:14.307 being ok in delivering. 00:13:14.340 --> 00:13:19.265 So, excuse me, was your husband there or was your mother? My husband was 00:13:19.298 --> 00:13:25.217 there. Um And I was glad he was there because he's a very, very calm 00:13:25.250 --> 00:13:33.250 person, very calm and I knew that he would keep me calm. And I had worried 00:13:34.500 --> 00:13:38.967 in the beginning that the pain would get so bad and I would start cussing 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:43.846 or throwing things or I heard stories of women cussing their husbands out 00:13:43.879 --> 00:13:48.275 and saying you did this to me and, and I didn't want to blame him, you 00:13:48.308 --> 00:13:52.217 know, for that, the pain. So I was worried about that. So I was very 00:13:52.250 --> 00:13:59.255 conscious of not doing that to him. So, um, he was there and he comforted 00:13:59.288 --> 00:14:01.836 me 00:14:01.869 --> 00:14:06.875 was, um, it must have been difficult for him to see you in pain. Did he 00:14:06.908 --> 00:14:12.177 talk about that at all? He never did except for um, I know he was 00:14:12.210 --> 00:14:19.836 uncomfortable. He, I think he, he found it difficult to um, make me feel 00:14:19.869 --> 00:14:25.677 better. He thought so he had that kind of, he doesn't know what to do. Um 00:14:25.710 --> 00:14:31.566 , kind of the look on his face and, um, I think he felt sorry for me that 00:14:31.599 --> 00:14:34.996 I was going through all that pain. Was there any position or anything that 00:14:35.029 --> 00:14:38.116 you found that was helpful or were you on your back for a whole time? I 00:14:38.149 --> 00:14:41.696 was on my back the whole time. 00:14:41.729 --> 00:14:46.145 My labor started at three. I got to the hospital about 530. This is all 00:14:46.178 --> 00:14:54.178 early in the morning. Um, and I had her by nine o'clock, so I wasn't in 00:14:54.269 --> 00:15:02.145 the hospital that long. Um, really, you know, four hours, 3.5, 4 hours. So 00:15:02.178 --> 00:15:05.775 I had thought about all these other positions or trying to make myself 00:15:05.808 --> 00:15:10.616 more comfortable. I really wanted to turn on my side for some reason. It 00:15:10.649 --> 00:15:15.986 felt like that would ease my pain. But um, the nurses told me not to do 00:15:16.019 --> 00:15:21.859 that, that it would not be good for the baby. So I just stayed on my back. 00:15:21.859 --> 00:15:27.275 So, um, at some point, you were checked and they were like, we're ready 00:15:27.308 --> 00:15:30.816 and talk about that. Well, when they came in and said I was fully dilated 00:15:30.849 --> 00:15:34.005 , um, 00:15:34.038 --> 00:15:38.436 by then, you know, the pains are so severe but they tell you, they can 00:15:38.469 --> 00:15:43.395 tell when you're having a contraction. So, um, I was told to push every 00:15:43.428 --> 00:15:49.677 time I felt that. So, um, the pushing begins. So I had a heavy contraction 00:15:49.710 --> 00:15:57.157 and I started pushing and, um, while I was pushing, the pain would go away. 00:15:57.190 --> 00:16:02.385 So the contract, the pain of the contraction would go away. Uh, every 00:16:02.418 --> 00:16:05.996 time I pushed. So I wanted to just keep pushing and they kept telling me 00:16:06.029 --> 00:16:10.395 don't push when you're not having a contraction, please don't push. And I 00:16:10.428 --> 00:16:15.015 can remember that the feeling that I, I just needed to push that, that, 00:16:15.048 --> 00:16:20.456 that I couldn't control, not pushing. And I did tell them after a few 00:16:20.489 --> 00:16:26.356 moments that I can't stop pushing, you know, I really can't stop. And, um 00:16:26.389 --> 00:16:32.135 , I felt like it was almost an involuntary motion of pushing. And, uh, 00:16:32.168 --> 00:16:36.846 they were like, yeah, the baby's coming right now. So, um, I think they 00:16:36.879 --> 00:16:41.775 wanted me to push a little longer, but I, I just couldn't stop pushing. So 00:16:41.808 --> 00:16:47.616 I think I might have pushed her out a little early. I don't know, but I 00:16:47.649 --> 00:16:53.265 did, but I can remember feeling after her head came out, I can remember 00:16:53.298 --> 00:16:59.856 feeling the shoulders and I think that was, I knew it was going to be 00:16:59.889 --> 00:17:05.266 harder to push that part of the baby out. And um I worried about that. I 00:17:05.299 --> 00:17:09.325 don't, I don't remember why I was so worried about that, but I do remember 00:17:09.358 --> 00:17:16.075 tearing. So my doctor didn't believe in a Piot toy. So I just tore and I 00:17:16.108 --> 00:17:21.686 can remember, it just felt like burning like somebody had just lit me on 00:17:21.719 --> 00:17:24.915 fire down there. 00:17:24.948 --> 00:17:31.717 But thankfully the baby came, come out, came out. And so you forget about 00:17:31.750 --> 00:17:36.607 all that other pain. Did he stitch you up? Yes. Did you feel every stitch 00:17:36.640 --> 00:17:43.867 ? Yes, I felt the tugging and, and all of that. Um He did some stitches 00:17:43.900 --> 00:17:51.236 internally and externally. So I think he said I had 14 altogether. So, 00:17:51.269 --> 00:17:57.137 yeah, I was pretty tore up down there. But at the time after the baby's 00:17:57.170 --> 00:18:00.887 out and they lay the baby on your stomach. You don't, you don't think 00:18:00.920 --> 00:18:06.075 about stuff like that. Can you talk about that post experience? Yeah. It 00:18:06.108 --> 00:18:09.166 was kind of interesting that they sent me home with this thing called a 00:18:09.199 --> 00:18:15.295 Sitz bath. So I had to hook this up to my faucet. I wasn't allowed to wipe 00:18:15.328 --> 00:18:20.367 after I went to the bathroom because of all the stitches. So I had this 00:18:20.400 --> 00:18:24.976 thing that they gave me to attach to my toilet. So every time I urinated 00:18:25.009 --> 00:18:29.276 or went to the bathroom, I had to use this, it was like a little sprinkler 00:18:29.309 --> 00:18:35.186 system. So it would just wash me off down there. And um, I used things 00:18:35.219 --> 00:18:41.305 like dermal blast and they um did light therapy. So they would take a lamp 00:18:41.338 --> 00:18:45.766 with a 60 watt bulb and they would just shine that light down there on the 00:18:45.799 --> 00:18:50.347 stitches. And I don't know if I guess they just don't do things like that 00:18:50.380 --> 00:18:53.867 anymore. I mean, this is 1989 but they were still doing this at my 00:18:53.900 --> 00:18:58.196 hospital. I went to and, um, they told me to continue with the light 00:18:58.229 --> 00:19:03.776 therapy at home. So we, we had a lamp in the bed. My husband would set me 00:19:03.809 --> 00:19:08.785 up with my light therapy and point the light bulb at me. How long was 00:19:08.818 --> 00:19:15.176 recovering? Um, I think with all the sits bath and the light therapy 00:19:15.209 --> 00:19:20.226 probably lasted about four or five days and then after that it was just 00:19:20.259 --> 00:19:26.055 being careful and, and I can remember thinking about people that were up 00:19:26.088 --> 00:19:29.016 sweeping and mopping and vacuuming after they have a baby. And I thought, 00:19:29.049 --> 00:19:32.107 how did they do this? Because I couldn't even sit down in a chair. I had a 00:19:32.140 --> 00:19:37.357 donut to sit on because I had stitches. And, um, yeah, I was amazed, I 00:19:37.390 --> 00:19:41.906 started thinking that I didn't want to be a wimp but, you know, I was 00:19:41.939 --> 00:19:45.315 trying to follow doctor's orders and take care of myself. So, were you 00:19:45.348 --> 00:19:53.176 nursing? I was nursing. Yes. And that was probably more difficult than 00:19:53.209 --> 00:19:59.097 then, you know, it was very, very painful at first and I don't think I was 00:19:59.130 --> 00:20:05.585 doing it right in the beginning. Um, my nipples were cracked and bleeding. 00:20:05.618 --> 00:20:10.357 Um, when she would latch on, I can remember that the pain was so bad that 00:20:10.390 --> 00:20:16.526 I, my legs would tremble with pain. Um, when I called the doctor after a 00:20:16.559 --> 00:20:20.986 couple of weeks of this, you know, he said, well, you know, you can take 00:20:21.019 --> 00:20:26.075 Tylenol, it's safe for the baby. So I was like, well, duh, ok, I'll take 00:20:26.108 --> 00:20:30.627 Tylenol and that helped a lot. Just a little bit of ease up on the pain 00:20:30.660 --> 00:20:35.035 was, was kind of all I needed to get me over that hump. So, so that I 00:20:35.068 --> 00:20:41.176 could nurse her and not be bleeding. I mean, it was horrible and 00:20:41.209 --> 00:20:46.535 terrifying to me to see my child. Um, after nursing have blood around her 00:20:46.568 --> 00:20:53.476 mouth. So it was terrifying. So, I was very happy to, um, get through that. 00:20:53.509 --> 00:20:59.717 It was really difficult. So then she latched well and everything that 00:20:59.750 --> 00:21:06.766 went ok. Yeah, it went ok. Um, the doctor told me to, um, that I could use 00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:12.156 things that were natural, sort of like, um, vitamin E oil and things like 00:21:12.189 --> 00:21:15.305 that because back then, I mean, they just didn't have things on the market 00:21:15.338 --> 00:21:20.416 that you could go buy at the grocery store or at the CV S, you know. Um, 00:21:20.449 --> 00:21:24.926 so I bought vitamin E oil and would rub that on my nipples trying to get 00:21:24.959 --> 00:21:30.166 them healed. Um, I talked to people about if they nursed, what did they do 00:21:30.199 --> 00:21:36.206 ? And, um, I had a nurse tell me that if I just sat by an open window and 00:21:36.239 --> 00:21:39.266 had the sunlight on me and had the sunlight on my nipples that, that would 00:21:39.299 --> 00:21:44.825 help. I did that. Um, she told me to never wash them with soap. So I 00:21:44.858 --> 00:21:48.565 didn't wash them with soap. Um, I tried to do everything they told me to 00:21:48.598 --> 00:21:53.676 do to heal those nipples up so that I could continue nursing. I didn't ask 00:21:53.709 --> 00:21:59.476 how much did she weigh? And she was £6.12 ounces. It is a good size 00:21:59.509 --> 00:22:05.045 consider that I was so sick. Yeah, I mean, she was almost £7. So, yeah, 00:22:05.078 --> 00:22:09.647 and she was a little early. Not much. Her due date was July 7th and I had 00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:16.016 her on July 3rd. So she was just a few days early. I gained £60 and my son 00:22:16.049 --> 00:22:24.049 was just over £7. Yeah, like £7.02 0 my daughter just gave birth and, um, 00:22:24.088 --> 00:22:29.946 she gained about 45 £50 you know, and her baby was, uh, let's see, what 00:22:29.979 --> 00:22:34.397 was she? I think she was about £7 even I think like 7172, something like 00:22:34.430 --> 00:22:39.045 that. So is there um anything else about this story that you feel like you 00:22:39.078 --> 00:22:44.565 have enough out that you want to think about? Um I don't think so. Other 00:22:44.598 --> 00:22:50.555 than mm the first time I saw my mom after I gave birth, she came to the 00:22:50.588 --> 00:22:58.206 hospital and she's looking at me and the baby and she told me she says you 00:22:58.239 --> 00:23:02.877 have a little girl. So someday you're going to be by her side when she 00:23:02.910 --> 00:23:07.726 gives birth. And I remember at the time I was thinking, why are you 00:23:07.759 --> 00:23:13.476 rushing things? Mother? I just gave birth, you know, and but she was just 00:23:13.509 --> 00:23:20.335 expressing how she felt that this was a beautiful moment for her and she 00:23:20.368 --> 00:23:26.045 couldn't wait for me to feel that someday. So it was kind of interesting 00:23:26.078 --> 00:23:30.147 and recently not with this grandchild, but with my first grandchild, I was 00:23:30.180 --> 00:23:34.766 with my daughter and by her side when she gave birth. So yeah, it was a 00:23:34.799 --> 00:23:39.026 beautiful feeling full circle. Yeah. 00:23:39.059 --> 00:23:45.315 Um I'm going to, I normally ask this at the end. But I think, um, well, I 00:23:45.348 --> 00:23:52.075 , I see now is so, well, at the end of a story, ask the um storyteller to 00:23:52.108 --> 00:23:56.436 kind of think of um a word or a phrasing of words that kind of summarizes 00:23:56.469 --> 00:23:59.016 their experience. 00:23:59.049 --> 00:24:05.857 And that's a challenging question. Well, I, you know, having three kids, I 00:24:05.890 --> 00:24:10.206 think when you first become pregnant, you wonder 00:24:10.239 --> 00:24:13.696 sometimes will you, how will you love this baby? Will you love it? I mean 00:24:13.729 --> 00:24:19.976 , what, what does that feel like? And um it's amazing to me because I 00:24:20.009 --> 00:24:26.545 think when you give birth, you sort of grow another chamber in your heart 00:24:26.578 --> 00:24:30.526 because you, you just don't realize that you can have that much love for 00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:36.335 another human being. So it's this whole other part of your heart that you 00:24:36.368 --> 00:24:42.996 can give that has love. You know, it's, it's just, it's just that your 00:24:43.029 --> 00:24:48.305 heart just grows big enough to accommodate that much love. 00:24:48.338 --> 00:24:55.206 That was good. Ok, perfect. All right on to the second. Ok. So if you take 00:24:55.239 --> 00:25:00.006 us back to that too, is that um yeah, she, she was, well, we didn't know 00:25:00.039 --> 00:25:05.805 she was a she but um the second pregnancy was definitely planned as well. 00:25:05.838 --> 00:25:10.736 Um We wanted to wait until our first one. 00:25:10.769 --> 00:25:16.045 you know, we wanted them two years apart and 00:25:16.078 --> 00:25:22.867 we at least two years apart and um we decided when my firstborn was two 00:25:22.900 --> 00:25:27.897 that, that was just too soon. So we waited a little while and then we 00:25:27.930 --> 00:25:33.766 stopped using birth control so that we could get pregnant again. And um 00:25:33.799 --> 00:25:37.397 sure enough, we pretty much got pregnant right when we thought we would. 00:25:37.430 --> 00:25:41.967 Um I didn't feel the conception with my second pregnancy, but I just think 00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:45.276 I was at first when I first felt the conception with my first one, I 00:25:45.309 --> 00:25:51.805 thought that um it was something totally magical and spectacular and just 00:25:51.838 --> 00:25:55.597 , you know, this, this was only going to happen once, but I kind of think 00:25:55.630 --> 00:25:59.726 it happens that you just get busy and the situation may not be the same. 00:25:59.759 --> 00:26:03.555 And so you just don't feel it every time. Um Because with my first one, I 00:26:03.588 --> 00:26:08.055 was in a dark room laying quietly and it just happened and I felt it that 00:26:08.088 --> 00:26:13.825 with my second one, I had no idea other than I started getting sick. So my 00:26:13.858 --> 00:26:19.357 first morning waking up throwing up, I knew I was pregnant. So same thing 00:26:19.390 --> 00:26:24.986 I did not buy a pregnancy kit. I just felt extremely ill and sick and I 00:26:25.019 --> 00:26:28.597 just kind of knew that feeling. So I made an appointment with the doctor 00:26:28.630 --> 00:26:32.416 to confirm. So, yeah. 00:26:32.449 --> 00:26:37.325 So um did you expect it to be the same as the first and do everything the 00:26:37.358 --> 00:26:42.805 same? I did? I expected it to be exactly the same, but it wasn't, I still 00:26:42.838 --> 00:26:50.397 felt sick but I looked pregnant sooner. Um 00:26:50.430 --> 00:26:54.486 I just felt like all my skin and everything had been stretched out. So it 00:26:54.519 --> 00:27:02.206 was just ready to, like, let go. Um, I was still just as ill so I didn't 00:27:02.239 --> 00:27:05.766 really gain weight in the beginning and I don't think I gained any weight 00:27:05.799 --> 00:27:10.835 with my second one until I was about six months pregnant. So my body 00:27:10.868 --> 00:27:15.387 weight stayed the same even though the baby was growing. Um, but again, my 00:27:15.420 --> 00:27:21.256 doctor was very thorough and, um, he told me to not be too alarmed about 00:27:21.289 --> 00:27:25.325 it and that, you know, she'll gain weight just fine whether I'm gaining 00:27:25.358 --> 00:27:33.358 weight or not. So, um, but I, but she was bigger, she, um, was £8.03 00:27:33.588 --> 00:27:38.426 ounces. So she was a lot bigger. But my diet was different when I was 00:27:38.459 --> 00:27:43.986 pregnant with her. When I was pregnant with her. I just craved corn dogs 00:27:44.019 --> 00:27:50.637 and Big Macs. So, um, I had a feeling, you know, that she might be bigger 00:27:50.670 --> 00:27:54.585 just because of all the junk food I was eating. Does she have a taste for 00:27:54.618 --> 00:27:58.347 junk food more than your first? She does. They eat similar to the way I 00:27:58.380 --> 00:28:04.607 ate when I was pregnant with them. So my first born, she pulls the skin 00:28:04.640 --> 00:28:08.107 off her chicken and she only eats grilled chicken, nothing fried. She 00:28:08.140 --> 00:28:13.926 doesn't drink sodas. Um, she's very health conscious and eats very light. 00:28:13.959 --> 00:28:20.357 Um, and then my middle daughter, my second uh, birth, she does, she tends 00:28:20.390 --> 00:28:26.026 to like the corn dogs, the big Macs and things like that. 00:28:26.059 --> 00:28:30.176 So, did you take the little ma again or did you remember? I remembered but 00:28:30.209 --> 00:28:36.696 , um, I'm just one of those people that I feel like I need to, to do it. 00:28:36.729 --> 00:28:41.607 You know, you take steps and do each step. I don't want to miss a step. So 00:28:41.640 --> 00:28:47.416 I took LAMAs again and I, you know, I remembered most of it. So I think it 00:28:47.449 --> 00:28:54.085 helped me with the second one as well. Um, the doctor 00:28:54.118 --> 00:28:58.467 told me at some point that the baby was going to be bigger than the first 00:28:58.500 --> 00:29:04.295 one. And, um, so that worried me because I remembered, you know, the pain 00:29:04.328 --> 00:29:10.085 I felt and the ripping and the tearing. So I wasn't looking forward to 00:29:10.118 --> 00:29:16.377 that. So I was very, very nervous about the birth of my second child. Were 00:29:16.410 --> 00:29:21.506 you, um, living in the same area in the same? Yeah, living in the same 00:29:21.539 --> 00:29:28.597 area. Um, hospital is still, you know, 35 minutes away. So, um, that was a 00:29:28.630 --> 00:29:32.526 concern always, I just always felt like I didn't want to be home alone or 00:29:32.559 --> 00:29:36.545 , you know, have my water break or something like that and, and no one to 00:29:36.578 --> 00:29:43.147 help me. But, um, the second one worked out well because my mom asked me 00:29:43.180 --> 00:29:46.535 to come and stay with her the last few weeks of my pregnancy just so that 00:29:46.568 --> 00:29:51.736 I wouldn't be alone. So, um, my husband and I moved in with our daughter 00:29:51.769 --> 00:29:55.627 to my mom's house, my parents' house and we stayed there until I went into 00:29:55.660 --> 00:30:01.045 labor and went to the hospital. So, how is pregnancy with the little one? 00:30:01.078 --> 00:30:06.055 Uh, it was ok. Um, 00:30:06.088 --> 00:30:11.166 just after I got further along in my pregnancy, my daughter couldn't 00:30:11.199 --> 00:30:14.976 understand why I couldn't pick her up so much because, um, she was just a 00:30:15.009 --> 00:30:19.246 wee little thing. So I still carried her around a lot and so I think she 00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:23.256 started to feel already like mommy's not the same, you know, things were 00:30:23.289 --> 00:30:26.726 going to change. So, 00:30:26.759 --> 00:30:31.717 um so is there anything else about the pregnancy part that I wanna mention 00:30:31.750 --> 00:30:39.335 ? Um No, with my second one, it was, it was planned, like I said, and um I 00:30:39.368 --> 00:30:45.967 was sick just like I was with the first one. Um but with her being bigger 00:30:46.000 --> 00:30:54.000 when it came time to deliver, it was um very different. And I remember 00:30:56.358 --> 00:31:04.358 when she came out that the shoulders again were the hardest part. And um I 00:31:06.130 --> 00:31:11.506 remember the nurses really trying to relax me and telling me to be as 00:31:11.539 --> 00:31:17.565 still as possible while I was pushing that they were afraid that her 00:31:17.598 --> 00:31:22.526 collar bone might get broken. So some babies are born with a broken 00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:26.166 collarbone if they've come through the birth canal. And you know, it's 00:31:26.199 --> 00:31:31.206 been an issue uh with big babies coming out. So they were concerned about 00:31:31.239 --> 00:31:37.666 that. But luckily she was born um fine, no broken collar bone. But um I 00:31:37.699 --> 00:31:43.295 tore again. And I can remember when she came out that I could tell she was 00:31:43.328 --> 00:31:47.986 bigger. I remembered that feeling of giving birth the first time. And so 00:31:48.019 --> 00:31:52.867 when she came out I was like, oh, my gosh, this one's a lot bigger, I 00:31:52.900 --> 00:31:57.867 could tell. And I remember thinking if I had her first, I don't know that 00:31:57.900 --> 00:32:03.347 I would have a second baby. I thought that. 00:32:03.380 --> 00:32:07.397 So she's lucky she was born second. 00:32:07.430 --> 00:32:13.535 Um, so how about the label? Was it? Because the last one was pretty short. 00:32:13.568 --> 00:32:18.436 Yeah, this one was too, I started labor. Um, 00:32:18.469 --> 00:32:22.476 actually with the second one because I was just getting so uncomfortable 00:32:22.509 --> 00:32:26.467 because there was no room inside there because she took up a lot of room. 00:32:26.500 --> 00:32:34.500 Um, I remember it was, um, May 1st and I told my mom because my mom said, 00:32:34.670 --> 00:32:37.075 well, you must be getting pretty miserable. And I said, well, I am, I 00:32:37.108 --> 00:32:41.397 can't eat, I can't sleep. I can't do anything because there's no room in 00:32:41.430 --> 00:32:46.266 there. I can barely breathe, you know. So she says, well, you still have a 00:32:46.299 --> 00:32:52.315 while to go because again she, her due date was May 12th. And, um, I was 00:32:52.348 --> 00:32:57.217 like, no, I'm gonna have her tomorrow pretty much in my mind. I'm thinking 00:32:57.250 --> 00:33:01.026 come hell or high water, this baby is coming out tomorrow. I'm done. I'm 00:33:01.059 --> 00:33:05.805 completely done. And, um, 00:33:05.838 --> 00:33:11.647 I had a doctor's appointment and I asked my doctor, um, this is the day 00:33:11.680 --> 00:33:16.276 before I gave birth, I asked him what I could do and he's like, well, 00:33:16.309 --> 00:33:18.976 there's all these wives tales, you know, you can go walking, you can do 00:33:19.009 --> 00:33:23.045 this, you can do that. You can go on a bumpy car ride. You could, he says 00:33:23.078 --> 00:33:29.696 , but really what will work is, um, if your husband stimulates your 00:33:29.729 --> 00:33:37.397 nipples. And so I was like, well, ok, that didn't sound very medical to me 00:33:37.430 --> 00:33:41.127 or I don't know, I didn't know what to think after he told me that. And he 00:33:41.160 --> 00:33:45.736 said he can't just stop after five minutes, he's got to do it. You'll 00:33:45.769 --> 00:33:49.196 start feeling contractions and when you start feeling contractions, you 00:33:49.229 --> 00:33:55.347 need to keep up with the stimulation and you will go into labor. So I 00:33:55.380 --> 00:33:59.656 remember telling my husband that night what he had to do and he was, he 00:33:59.689 --> 00:34:02.805 was not convinced that he should do that. I think it kind of scared him a 00:34:02.838 --> 00:34:07.075 little bit. But when we woke up in the morning, early in the morning, it 00:34:07.108 --> 00:34:12.416 was about six o'clock in the morning on May 2nd. And I told him you've got 00:34:12.449 --> 00:34:16.816 to do this because I can't go another day. I can't eat, I can't get 00:34:16.849 --> 00:34:23.017 comfortable, you know, I'm miserable. So he decided he would help me out. 00:34:23.050 --> 00:34:27.577 So we started with the nipple stimulation and I can remember the 00:34:27.610 --> 00:34:31.526 contractions coming and I told him, OK, good. I've got contractions keep 00:34:31.559 --> 00:34:38.865 going and then I don't know, it must have been about 15 or 20 minutes. 00:34:38.898 --> 00:34:42.394 Then I got really scared because I was like, oh my gosh, I've put myself 00:34:42.427 --> 00:34:46.385 into labor. So I remember feeling kind of frightened and scared. I was 00:34:46.418 --> 00:34:51.767 like, now I'm in labor. Now. What am I gonna do? So, 00:34:51.800 --> 00:34:58.037 and once again I took a shower, shaved my legs, um, tried to relax but the 00:34:58.070 --> 00:35:04.256 pains just kept coming. So I was in labor. So I went to the hospital, I 00:35:04.289 --> 00:35:09.896 think around it must have been close to eight o'clock in the morning. 00:35:09.929 --> 00:35:16.595 I didn't have her until almost two. So it was about 130 when I had her. 00:35:16.628 --> 00:35:20.756 Wow, that's amazing. That, that worked. That's great. Yeah, it worked. 00:35:20.789 --> 00:35:24.986 Your mother must have been like, and I didn't tell her what we were doing. 00:35:25.019 --> 00:35:31.345 So she has no idea how I went into labor. But, um, yeah, so I put myself 00:35:31.378 --> 00:35:34.626 into labor but it scared me afterwards and I don't know if that was just a 00:35:34.659 --> 00:35:40.146 coincidence or if that really worked. So you seem to have a really strong 00:35:40.179 --> 00:35:44.905 , like, mind body connection now. So I'm, yeah. Yeah, I might have just 00:35:44.938 --> 00:35:51.385 talked myself into labor. I don't know. Ok, so you've already talked about 00:35:51.418 --> 00:35:56.227 the giving birth pa part, the feeling of everything. 00:35:56.260 --> 00:35:58.767 I always think, you know, our hands seem like they would have the most 00:35:58.800 --> 00:36:03.135 nerve ending, but it's amazing how certain parts of yourself and like, 00:36:03.168 --> 00:36:10.206 feel everything. Um So why don't you talk about the just afterwards part 00:36:10.239 --> 00:36:14.905 was that the same or did they put her on your chest? They did, I think 00:36:14.938 --> 00:36:20.365 that was kind of a common thing to do. Um, just as soon as they cut the 00:36:20.398 --> 00:36:27.247 cord, you know, and, and the baby's crying and, and they just kinda lay 00:36:27.280 --> 00:36:33.155 the baby naked on your naked body so that you get the skin to skin contact. 00:36:33.188 --> 00:36:35.345 Um 00:36:35.378 --> 00:36:41.155 So I had that II I don't ever forget that feeling. I don't think you ever 00:36:41.188 --> 00:36:45.756 do having your baby laying just after they're born right on top of you 00:36:45.789 --> 00:36:51.767 because it comes out of your body. So you feel this great release, 00:36:51.800 --> 00:36:58.017 this, this giant thing. Well, to you, it's giant comes out and then it 00:36:58.050 --> 00:37:01.646 gets laying on top of you and it's moving and it's breathing and it's 00:37:01.679 --> 00:37:06.796 trying to open its eyes and look at you and yeah, I don't think I'll ever 00:37:06.829 --> 00:37:12.095 forget that feeling. So what did you think when you found she was a girl? 00:37:12.128 --> 00:37:15.566 I was happy. Um 00:37:15.599 --> 00:37:21.385 I don't I think because my husband and I planned it. So down to the almost 00:37:21.418 --> 00:37:28.006 to their birth stones. What month we wanted them born in that? Um 00:37:28.039 --> 00:37:31.856 I, we were happy because we had already told ourselves that we were gonna 00:37:31.889 --> 00:37:37.017 be happy uh whether we had two girls, two boys or a girl and a boy. So I 00:37:37.050 --> 00:37:41.666 was happy. She was healthy. She was big and healthy. So she cried a lot 00:37:41.699 --> 00:37:48.695 less than my first one. How was the nursing? Nursing went? Great. I, I 00:37:48.728 --> 00:37:55.356 knew what not to do and, um, so it went great. I didn't have the issues 00:37:55.389 --> 00:38:01.345 that I had with the first one. So, was there anything unexpected besides 00:38:01.378 --> 00:38:07.416 the weight? Um, well, after she was born and I was nursing, what was 00:38:07.449 --> 00:38:14.467 unexpected is she's four months old and she had teeth pop through and, 00:38:14.500 --> 00:38:21.155 I mean, I was shocked because we weren't even feeling for tooth knobs or 00:38:21.188 --> 00:38:28.006 anything at that point. And um I don't know why, but it kind of alarmed me 00:38:28.039 --> 00:38:33.706 like why is she getting teeth so early, you know, um kind of like an alien 00:38:33.739 --> 00:38:38.206 baby or something? I thought babies don't get teeth at four months old but 00:38:38.239 --> 00:38:44.736 she did, um it was soon after that I stopped nursing and I, you know, you 00:38:44.769 --> 00:38:49.706 can nurse a baby with teeth as I found out with my third one. But I think 00:38:49.739 --> 00:38:54.206 because I was just scared that she had teeth so early. I, I stopped 00:38:54.239 --> 00:39:01.557 nursing her and almost because I wanted to start um giving her formula and 00:39:01.590 --> 00:39:06.856 feeding her food early. I I in my mind, I thought she's ready for food 00:39:06.889 --> 00:39:09.577 almost. So 00:39:09.610 --> 00:39:12.486 I didn't nurse her as long. I think that she was completely waned at six 00:39:12.519 --> 00:39:14.865 months old. 00:39:14.898 --> 00:39:20.905 So um is there anything about this uh birth that stands out to you or that 00:39:20.938 --> 00:39:28.938 um you wanna mention um for her um I just think it was just so different 00:39:29.699 --> 00:39:36.155 because she took up so much room that um you know, you don't realize what 00:39:36.188 --> 00:39:42.896 happens inside your body when you're growing this baby in there. So for 00:39:42.929 --> 00:39:49.675 her, other than being sick, like I had been, um it was just that feeling 00:39:49.708 --> 00:39:56.296 of something is really giant growing inside of me. You know, I worried 00:39:56.329 --> 00:40:01.175 about all my organs and my stomach. I couldn't eat, I could barely breathe 00:40:01.208 --> 00:40:05.425 because she was just pushing on everything. 00:40:05.458 --> 00:40:08.977 Did you find after you had your babies that your body kind of went back to 00:40:09.010 --> 00:40:14.026 normal? Well, I think with nursing it helps because when you nurse, at 00:40:14.059 --> 00:40:20.566 least when I nursed, I would get contractions again. So the doctors and 00:40:20.599 --> 00:40:23.686 the nurses told me that that might happen and that, that's a good thing 00:40:23.719 --> 00:40:28.635 because that's just kind of your uterus going back to its normal shape and 00:40:28.668 --> 00:40:33.506 size. So I think the nursing helped. 00:40:33.539 --> 00:40:41.336 All right, I think we can go to the third birth. Ok. Um So yeah. So were 00:40:41.369 --> 00:40:47.537 you had you planned on having three Children? No, not at all. And when I 00:40:47.570 --> 00:40:51.706 started throwing up and feeling sick, I knew I couldn't be pregnant 00:40:51.739 --> 00:40:57.456 because we were using birth control. So 00:40:57.489 --> 00:41:01.046 I was trying to figure out why I felt so terrible. Finally I decided to go 00:41:01.079 --> 00:41:06.217 to the doctor. I was so concerned. I thought that I was really sick like I 00:41:06.250 --> 00:41:12.796 had something wrong with me, um, like some sort of disease or something. 00:41:12.829 --> 00:41:17.256 And I remember feeling so scared because I was like, well, if I die and 00:41:17.289 --> 00:41:23.776 then, you know, my kids are going to be left alone and it was a horrible 00:41:23.809 --> 00:41:31.809 feeling and the doctors, I go to the doctor so he's doing all his normal 00:41:32.610 --> 00:41:38.606 stuff. You know, look in your nose, mouth, ears and throat and feel you 00:41:38.639 --> 00:41:44.477 and ask you about your periods and everything else. And, um, he wanted me 00:41:44.510 --> 00:41:47.936 to do a urinalysis and I felt fine about that. I just kind of wanted to 00:41:47.969 --> 00:41:50.796 get to the bottom of what was wrong with me because I knew it was 00:41:50.829 --> 00:41:56.566 something horrible. And, um, the doctor comes in after a couple of hours 00:41:56.599 --> 00:42:03.905 it seemed, and he says, so, June 5th, how do you feel about June 5th? And 00:42:03.938 --> 00:42:09.577 I'm thinking he's asking me if I wanna have surgery or if I'm gonna die or 00:42:09.610 --> 00:42:12.967 I'm thinking June 5th, is that when I die, is that Ami supposed to have 00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:19.037 surgery? What's going on? And I said for what, you know, and in my mind, 00:42:19.070 --> 00:42:26.296 all these things are rolling around. And, um, he says for to have a baby 00:42:26.329 --> 00:42:32.717 and I was like, no, I've been using birth control. I know I'm not pregnant. 00:42:32.750 --> 00:42:39.865 I have a horrible disease and he says, no, you're pregnant. So I think I 00:42:39.898 --> 00:42:47.195 might have cried, you know, and I sort of felt like 00:42:47.228 --> 00:42:52.836 I just got my youngest one into getting ready to go to kindergarten. And I 00:42:52.869 --> 00:42:55.595 was thinking about all this freedom I was going to have while the kids are 00:42:55.628 --> 00:43:02.586 in school and now I'm pregnant so it'll start all over again. Diapers, 00:43:02.619 --> 00:43:10.456 nursing. So, um, I wouldn't say that I was unhappy or mad or angry. I was 00:43:10.489 --> 00:43:14.756 kind of in shock and I did sort of feel sorry for myself. Like suddenly 00:43:14.789 --> 00:43:22.789 some freedoms were taken away from me. Um, but I still loved whatever if 00:43:23.010 --> 00:43:27.655 it was a boy or a girl grown inside of me. I, I was ok. All right. I'm 00:43:27.688 --> 00:43:31.195 gonna have another baby. Tell me about it when you broke the news to your 00:43:31.228 --> 00:43:39.228 husband. Uh Well, so I called and he was at work and I said, you know, I 00:43:39.918 --> 00:43:43.675 went to the doctor today and he's like, yeah, you know, how are you? Ok? 00:43:43.708 --> 00:43:46.787 Because he, because he knew I kept telling him, you know, that I was dying 00:43:46.820 --> 00:43:51.615 or something. He's like, are you ok? And I said, well, you know, the 00:43:51.648 --> 00:43:56.086 doctor asked me about June 5th and he kind of said, well, what the hell 00:43:56.119 --> 00:43:59.876 has June 5th got to do with anything? And I said, well, apparently I'm 00:43:59.909 --> 00:44:06.986 gonna have a baby and that's my due date and silence. I hear just silence 00:44:07.019 --> 00:44:13.566 on the other end. So I wasn't sure, you know what was going on. So I kind 00:44:13.599 --> 00:44:18.557 of said hello, hello. 00:44:18.590 --> 00:44:24.566 And then I hear all this rustling around and everything. And finally he 00:44:24.599 --> 00:44:30.086 says, you know, I can't believe it and then I can tell that he's crying 00:44:30.119 --> 00:44:37.787 but he's ecstatic. He's so happy that he burst into tears and he's happy. 00:44:37.820 --> 00:44:42.557 So then I felt really crappy that I had the reaction I did because I sort 00:44:42.590 --> 00:44:48.606 of felt like some freedoms were being taken away from me and he was the 00:44:48.639 --> 00:44:51.557 most excited with this one than I think, even with the ones that were 00:44:51.590 --> 00:44:53.675 planned. 00:44:53.708 --> 00:44:56.126 Well, it was a surprise, 00:44:56.159 --> 00:45:02.577 it was a surprise. Um, ok, so let's get into the pregnancy part. Um, yeah 00:45:02.610 --> 00:45:10.115 , the pregnancy part, this third one was, um, almost identical to my first 00:45:10.148 --> 00:45:16.217 one. I was sick again. I didn't gain a lot of weight. I think I gained 00:45:16.250 --> 00:45:22.126 about £20 with him too. I gained £24 with my second one. So with all three 00:45:22.159 --> 00:45:25.155 of them, I didn't gain much weight but just had to do with, I was sick so 00:45:25.188 --> 00:45:32.595 much. So I gained £20 with him. I had the cutest little pregnancy belly. 00:45:32.628 --> 00:45:39.595 Um, I was sick but of course I was in love with whatever baby was growing 00:45:39.628 --> 00:45:47.517 inside of me. And by then, um, my doctor had stepped into, you know, more 00:45:47.550 --> 00:45:54.327 modern type thinking. So he had asked me if I wanted to have a sonogram 00:45:54.360 --> 00:45:59.227 and find out the uh sex of the baby. And I wasn't offered that with my 00:45:59.260 --> 00:46:05.606 first two. So I was a bit nervous, but I said sure, why not? So I can 00:46:05.639 --> 00:46:12.566 remember finding out that it was a boy and I had a lot of feelings and one 00:46:12.599 --> 00:46:17.095 of them was being nervous because I, I remember thinking, well, when you 00:46:17.128 --> 00:46:22.166 change the diaper of a girl, baby, you, you do it and it's done. And then 00:46:22.199 --> 00:46:26.675 I can remember thinking, what do you do with a boy baby? You know, is it 00:46:26.708 --> 00:46:31.405 the same? Is it? I remember like, I don't know if I can have a boy, I'm 00:46:31.438 --> 00:46:34.977 used to girls. So, 00:46:35.010 --> 00:46:41.756 but the pregnancy, the pregnancy I I would say went very well. Um I wasn't 00:46:41.789 --> 00:46:49.316 shocked or concerned about things as much. I wasn't as scared. 00:46:49.349 --> 00:46:54.517 I just, I tried to enjoy it as much as I could because I knew that after I 00:46:54.550 --> 00:46:59.385 had him, I was gonna have my tubes tied and I wasn't gonna have any more. 00:46:59.418 --> 00:47:03.717 Um So I wanted to enjoy that pregnancy as much as I could even though I 00:47:03.750 --> 00:47:11.750 was sick. So I really just tried to be happy and I tried not to make my 00:47:11.780 --> 00:47:16.956 little girls feel bad because while I was pregnant, I had this like 00:47:16.989 --> 00:47:22.247 superhuman smell, I could smell things. I mean if somebody was smoking a 00:47:22.280 --> 00:47:27.586 cigarette next door, I could probably smell that. Um and my kids they 00:47:27.619 --> 00:47:31.936 started to smell like puppies to me and they would go outside and play and 00:47:31.969 --> 00:47:37.046 then come in and just the smell on their hair. I would, I would throw up, 00:47:37.079 --> 00:47:42.206 the smell of them made me throw up and they didn't stink. It was just the 00:47:42.239 --> 00:47:46.885 scent they had on them. 00:47:46.918 --> 00:47:51.026 Were they pretty, like geared up about having a brother? Oh, they were 00:47:51.059 --> 00:47:55.186 excited. They were so excited. Um, 00:47:55.219 --> 00:47:59.336 and, and they remain excited. They love their brother so much and when he 00:47:59.369 --> 00:48:03.816 was born they just, they took care of him and when he was a toddler I 00:48:03.849 --> 00:48:09.287 couldn't even yell at him because they would don't yell at the baby and um 00:48:09.320 --> 00:48:13.396 they just coddled him and, and they still, they think he's like the 00:48:13.429 --> 00:48:16.126 greatest thing. 00:48:16.159 --> 00:48:24.026 So, um where is this an early labor term? Uh My due date was June 5th and 00:48:24.059 --> 00:48:28.497 my doctor decided that if I didn't go into labor on June 5th, that he 00:48:28.530 --> 00:48:35.615 would induce me because my second child was over £8 and he didn't want me 00:48:35.648 --> 00:48:42.256 to have another big baby like that. Um So he said, if you don't go into 00:48:42.289 --> 00:48:47.086 labor, then I'll induce you. So I, I had an appointment at the hospital at 00:48:47.119 --> 00:48:55.119 7 a.m. and um I went to the hospital to be induced, but I, I was having 00:48:56.849 --> 00:49:00.467 labor pains. They just weren't very strong and they weren't very close 00:49:00.500 --> 00:49:08.500 together. So the nurses decided to just wait and see if I progressed and I 00:49:08.969 --> 00:49:14.115 progressed. So my labor pains uh got stronger and got closer together and 00:49:14.148 --> 00:49:18.307 they're like, we're doing this, you don't need to be induced. So I was 00:49:18.340 --> 00:49:23.936 there. It was, it was so weird to me that I was there on my due date to be 00:49:23.969 --> 00:49:28.695 induced and I ended up in labor. So I'm not surprised at all. I think 00:49:28.728 --> 00:49:36.486 that's just you. Yeah. So, um, so where the contractions and everything 00:49:36.519 --> 00:49:42.945 that they feel the same? Um, it's funny because I forget the pain I had 00:49:42.978 --> 00:49:48.227 when I was in labor and giving birth to my son. I don't know why I 00:49:48.260 --> 00:49:53.206 remember my daughters the pain and the labor pain. But with my son, I 00:49:53.239 --> 00:49:58.655 don't know why I just, everything just seems softer. All the memories seem 00:49:58.688 --> 00:50:04.977 softer, I think because I knew he was going to be my last one. They didn't 00:50:05.010 --> 00:50:11.155 want anything negative attached to the birth or the labor. So I think I 00:50:11.188 --> 00:50:15.396 just told myself that was, everything went great. Like I didn't feel a 00:50:15.429 --> 00:50:21.276 thing but I did and I had stitches again, but I just don't remember it as 00:50:21.309 --> 00:50:27.997 much as I, you know, the pain as much. How big was he? Um, he was 6, um, 00:50:28.030 --> 00:50:33.776 13. Well, no, he was 6, 12. My first one was 613. So he was 612. 00:50:33.809 --> 00:50:39.967 Um, was the process of labor and delivery the same then. Yeah, it was the 00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:43.135 same. Um, 00:50:43.168 --> 00:50:49.135 just keeping track of my labor and, um, the same when things, when I had a 00:50:49.168 --> 00:50:57.168 contraction I would push, um, everything went off without a hitch, 00:50:57.929 --> 00:51:03.845 did you feel that head and shoulders? I did. But I don't, I don't remember 00:51:03.878 --> 00:51:11.878 it hurting as bad. Um, I remember when he came out that I felt like he 00:51:11.989 --> 00:51:17.186 felt the same as my first one. You know, I was like, ok, now this one 00:51:17.219 --> 00:51:21.655 feels like the first one. I could definitely tell the difference that he 00:51:21.688 --> 00:51:27.956 was not as large as my second one. So, and they put them on your chest. 00:51:27.989 --> 00:51:32.577 Yeah, same thing. Put them on my chest. Um, 00:51:32.610 --> 00:51:36.006 he wanted to nurse right away and they thought that was fantastic because 00:51:36.039 --> 00:51:40.425 they were like, wow, he's ready to go. He's, you know, he's alert and he 00:51:40.458 --> 00:51:45.135 knows what he's supposed to do. So, and, and then by then I consider 00:51:45.168 --> 00:51:50.477 myself a pro at breastfeeding. So, so I went without a hitch without a 00:51:50.510 --> 00:51:56.206 hitch. I didn't have to take Tylenol. Um, my legs didn't tremble with pain. 00:51:56.239 --> 00:52:02.115 So, yeah. So, uh, when did you introduce her to the girls? And they were 00:52:02.148 --> 00:52:07.287 at the hospital, uh, my mom brought them while I was in labor. So they 00:52:07.320 --> 00:52:11.925 were just waiting. So, as soon as they wheeled me out into my private room 00:52:11.958 --> 00:52:15.956 , um, the girls were in there waiting so they got to see their little 00:52:15.989 --> 00:52:20.445 brother right away. So 00:52:20.478 --> 00:52:24.436 all of a sudden we became this big family, all of a sudden I had three 00:52:24.469 --> 00:52:27.807 kids. 00:52:27.840 --> 00:52:35.840 So, how was those diaper changes? Ah, they, the kids helped and, um, dad 00:52:36.760 --> 00:52:41.626 was extremely helpful. So I got through it. It wasn't as bad as I thought 00:52:41.659 --> 00:52:48.967 it was going to be the. Yeah. Yeah, I've worn, yeah, I've worn spit up and 00:52:49.000 --> 00:52:53.767 poop and been peed on several times. Yeah. 00:52:53.800 --> 00:52:58.727 All right. So that's your last word. Is there anything, um, that you wanna 00:52:58.760 --> 00:53:04.146 say, in summary of that, of that experience? Um, 00:53:04.179 --> 00:53:09.925 no, it's just my daughters and I have talked about how, what a blessing 00:53:09.958 --> 00:53:16.057 that my son is. Um I guess because he was such a surprise and he wasn't 00:53:16.090 --> 00:53:20.836 planned, they were totally planned. I mean, we really wanted, you know, we 00:53:20.869 --> 00:53:26.356 planned their, their birth month, their birth stones, everything. So it 00:53:26.389 --> 00:53:31.497 was such a a shock and a surprise. So 00:53:31.530 --> 00:53:36.727 um i it's almost like we not that we appreciate it more, but I don't know 00:53:36.760 --> 00:53:41.046 , he's just really special. 00:53:41.079 --> 00:53:47.666 That's perfect. That's perfect ending. Yeah. And one thing, um could you 00:53:47.699 --> 00:53:52.727 talk a little bit? Thank you. Could you talk a little bit about sort of 00:53:52.760 --> 00:53:57.566 like right before realizing you were pregnant and kind of how you had felt 00:53:57.599 --> 00:54:00.615 like your family was complete. You had planned for these two and then kind 00:54:00.648 --> 00:54:07.646 of like move into the transition into realizing having a mother. Yeah, it 00:54:07.679 --> 00:54:11.655 was difficult even for me to tell my mom that I was pregnant after I found 00:54:11.688 --> 00:54:15.175 out. But um 00:54:15.208 --> 00:54:19.776 you know, when you've got this thing, like we had the house with the 00:54:19.809 --> 00:54:25.956 swimming pool and um you know, a Labrador retriever and two Children, a 00:54:25.989 --> 00:54:31.195 minivan and a pickup truck and, and that's what we wanted. That's what we 00:54:31.228 --> 00:54:36.896 , that was what we had decided our life was gonna be. Um, so when I became 00:54:36.929 --> 00:54:41.956 pregnant, it was, it was really complicated because all of a sudden now 00:54:41.989 --> 00:54:46.356 what do we do? Well, we had a three bedroom house and, you know, you think 00:54:46.389 --> 00:54:50.256 of all these things like, well, what are we gonna do? Because now there's 00:54:50.289 --> 00:54:57.706 this new thing that is, um, that we have to think about. And as I 00:54:57.739 --> 00:55:00.925 mentioned before, I, I felt like some of my freedoms were going to be 00:55:00.958 --> 00:55:08.958 taken away and telling my mom she kind of, I mean, she reacted in a way 00:55:09.938 --> 00:55:15.365 like almost like, oh, no. Well, now what are you guys gonna do? You know, 00:55:15.398 --> 00:55:20.845 and I can remember feeling at that moment like, well, you know, don't make 00:55:20.878 --> 00:55:25.217 it sound like that, you know, it's not like he's unwanted or I didn't know 00:55:25.250 --> 00:55:29.566 it was a he at the time, but it's not like this pregnancy is unwanted, it 00:55:29.599 --> 00:55:35.626 was just not planned for and it was a shock and a surprise that, um, so it 00:55:35.659 --> 00:55:39.206 was difficult. I, I always felt like while I was pregnant that my mom 00:55:39.239 --> 00:55:44.807 because my mom doted on my girls and while I was pregnant, I felt like my 00:55:44.840 --> 00:55:51.706 mom wouldn't have room for another one because the two girls were always 00:55:51.739 --> 00:55:55.276 the two girls I'll pick the girls up. I've got the girls, it's the girls, 00:55:55.309 --> 00:56:00.017 girls, girls, um, she shopped for them all the time and when we found out 00:56:00.050 --> 00:56:05.537 he was a boy, you know, I just kept thinking, is he gonna feel left out? 00:56:05.570 --> 00:56:09.086 You know, is he gonna feel unwanted? 00:56:09.119 --> 00:56:14.706 You know, I don't want this baby growing inside me to ever feel unwanted. 00:56:14.739 --> 00:56:16.727 Um, 00:56:16.760 --> 00:56:21.706 so that I think was my biggest concern was just, I did not want him to 00:56:21.739 --> 00:56:27.356 ever feel like he was unwanted. It was quite the opposite. Yeah. I mean, 00:56:27.389 --> 00:56:32.356 sure threw a wrench in all of my, you know, ideas I had of, you know, I 00:56:32.389 --> 00:56:38.497 had my little perfect little life. Um, but he definitely was, was very 00:56:38.530 --> 00:56:46.530 wanted and so we love them. Ok. Yeah. Excellent. Ok. Anything else about 00:56:51.000 --> 00:56:55.736 the experience before we turn off? No, I don't think so. All right. I have 00:56:55.769 --> 00:56:59.997 to stop. I was, no, it's not about an account 00:57:00.030 --> 00:57:02.030 this.