I have it. I have it here because I got the thing. This is Forest Elise
interviewing Deborah Mas on June 14th, 2016 at 5:30 p.m. for the creative
push project.
All right. So let me get done making some noise. OK. Yeah. Get settled. OK.
So can you take us back to the conception of your first? Like what was
the circumstance? Yeah. It was kind of really interesting. I was, had been
married for a few years and the pregnancy was totally planned. We had
decided when we got married that we would have two Children and that we
didn't care if they were two boys, two girls or a boy and a girl. And we
pretty much planned the time that they would be born. So we were really
trying to have a baby at the time. And the most interesting thing I think
about my conception was I felt it, I felt in my body. It was tiny, little
magical electric things that happened. It, I guess you could describe it
as almost an explosion. And um I think I was just really lucky to have
felt that I think that happens a lot that we just don't get a chance to
feel it every time. So I was very lucky and I felt that, um, with my first
child, were you using any sort of like, um, ovulation kits or anything
like that? Yeah. Well, we kind of did the calendar thing. So we knew, um,
marking my periods when I would be most fertile. So, um we used condoms
all other times, like I said, we just totally planned this. So when we
decided to not use birth control, we knew we were going to be trying to
have a baby. So we just used the calendar. So um you knew at the time of
conception, but you didn't officially know. No, but I knew you. It's, it
just was undeniable and in my head my whole body, I just, I knew that
that's exactly what I felt. Did you tell your husband? Yeah, I told him, I
said, oh my gosh, I just became pregnant and he just probably rolled over
and snored. He did, you know, he probably didn't really think that I was
telling the truth, but I knew so. So did you wait for like a lot of times
on the pregnancy test? I didn't um I started feeling sick right away. So a
few days later I started feeling ill and it kind of confirmed to me that I
was pregnant and um I don't think I bought No, I did not. I did not buy a
pregnancy kit or anything like that. I just made a doctor's appointment
and went to my doctor. So, did you, um, since you had spent time thinking
about being pregnant and planning for it, had you thought about the kind
of pregnancy you were gonna have or the kind of birth you wanted or? Well
, I think, I thought about it but I probably thought about it more in like
a magical dreamy state. not what was really gonna happen. So, um I
probably thought, oh, I'll just grow this human being inside of me and
everything's going to be perfect and I'm going to feel like superwoman and
I'm going to give birth to this perfect baby and, you know, then I started
throwing up every day. I lost about 10 or £15.
Um I was probably about got down to about 100 and £4 just from being sick
so much and it was the worst feeling in the world. It's the worst I've
ever felt in my whole life. So, but I was happy to be pregnant. Were your
doctors concerned that the doctors were, my doctor was a bit concerned
about me being so ill and losing so much weight. Um He told me that if I
continued with, you know, the severity of the nausea and the actually
getting sick that I would probably have to be hospitalized. Um just for
fear of being um losing being dehydrated and things like that. So, um, I
really tried my hardest to nibble on little crackers and I read and, and
asked everybody I knew what can I do to make myself feel better? So, I got
all kinds of answers to that question. So some people told me I needed to
smoke a joint, but I didn't want to do that while I was pregnant. But some
people told me that while they were pregnant and they were sick, they
would smoke pot and it made themselves feel better. So, um, peppermint tea
ginger, I mean, all kinds of, you know, wives tales to feel better, but
nothing helped. So did you ultimately put on, put on weight? I put on a
total of £20. So I weighed 100 and £24 when I gave birth to her. So, um, I
weigh £10 more than that now. So, you know, I think about that and I think
, wow, I weighed 100 and £24 when I gave birth. I was nine months pregnant
and gave birth to her, but she, the doctor told me that she would probably
, well, we didn't know she was a she but told me that the baby would be
fine that the babies have a way of taking their nourishment from your body
, whether you want them to or not. So I lost hair. I had bad gums. I mean
, it really affected my body. But um, she was fine and healthy when she
was born. So, did you take any, um, you know, um, classes, preliminary
classes, prenatal classes, that kind of thing. Yeah, I did the, the, the
old fashioned LAMAs class and, um, learned how to breathe while I was in
labor. And, uh, the funny thing is, is that, that breathing technique has
helped me over the years. So, anytime I've ever felt, um, in pain or
needed to calm myself down, I just, um, use my LAMAs breathing method
still. So it works for me. Um Were you working throughout your pregnancy?
I had to quit work because I was so sick that there was just no way I
could sit and work because I was constantly in the bathroom, either dry
heaving or throwing up. So, did you have a support network? I did. My mom
helped me throughout my pregnancy. She just, I think she mostly just felt
bad for me that I think she wished she could take that sickness feeling
away from me. But, um, there was really not much anyone could do just, you
know, be there, you know, and I'm so glad I won't have to see my son
pregnant. No.
Um, so had you known that you were gonna go to the hospital to give birth
? Yes. We had it all planned and we did the LAMAs classes and we signed up
and, um, preregistered for the hospital so that everything would be ready
to go once we got there. Were you nervous? What was your expectation? Did
your mom tell you what to expect? I wish my mom had told me more because I
don't think my mom uh really remembered giving birth to me or my brother.
I mean, I think she remembered but I don't know, she didn't describe it in
detail. So I really didn't know what to expect. And when you talk to
people, when you're pregnant, you hear all kinds of horror stories and
usually you hear the worst like labor for 24 hours or, you know, c
sections or the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck or, I mean, so I
was terrified. I mean, I was just worried and anxious and terrified. Had
you thought about whether you would want an epidural or I was clueless on
that because I've heard of those things, but my doctor was very old
fashioned. So I had no sonogram or nothing like that. Um, he didn't do peo
or anything like that. He just wanted you to have your baby as natural as
possible. And, um, so when people talked about those things, I really
didn't know what they were talking about because my doctor didn't mention
those types of things to me. So you had just expected that you would go
through labor naturally and have a baby in the hospital. Right. Right. And
your doctor was definitely going to deliver you. I was hoping. So I kept
getting worried that he would go out of town or something like that. And
so that just fueled some of that anxiety and nervousness and, and being
scared um because he had been with me through the whole pregnancy and I
just wanted him there to deliver my baby. So yeah, it was scary. So maybe
you can take us to the time around the delivery then you know what that um
what that was like. Well, um when I went into labor it was about three
o'clock in the morning. And, um, I remember I really wanted to take a
shower and wash my hair and shave my legs because I didn't want to be
there laid out on this table with, you know, hairy legs and unwashed hair.
So, um, I took a shower and washed my hair and did all that. I think I
might even put on some makeup. I can't remember. But, um, anyway, I went
back to bed after that and just laid there counting how many minutes were
in between my labor pains. And, uh, when it came time to go to the
hospital, um, I worried again because the hospital was about 35 minutes
away from where I lived. So I kept having these panic attacks thinking
that I would have to deliver along the way in a car or, you know,
alongside the road or something like that. But I made it to the hospital
and when I got there, they weigh you and they put you in a room and they
put you in a gown and all of that. And back then, um, in 89 the hospital I
went to still shaved you. So I can just remember that this was the
beginning of me feeling really just out there, you know, strangers were
shaving my vagina and I was just, what is going on and did I sign up for
all of this? You know, So I started to feel a little, I don't know what
the word is. Like, not embarrassed or ashamed, but just really just put
out there, you know. And, um, so they shaved me and they've hooked me up
to a couple of things and just left me in the room to continue with my
labor. Um, I was ok during labor for the most part, it felt like really,
really bad period cramps. And I can remember my doctor sticking his head
in and saying, uh, at some point, you're gonna start feeling some real
pain. I'm glad that you're still smiling and able to talk, but pretty soon
you're not going to be able to. And that really kind of scared me. But, um
, it was true, you know, it was true what he said. So after a while it
started to hurt pretty bad and then I can remember asking for pain
medicine and they kind of just said, well, we'll see, you know, we'll come
back to you and finally, uh, the pain was pretty severe and I said, I
think I really need some pain medicine or something. And the nurse came in
and she said, you know, you'll be able to do this, you've got your LAMAs
and it's too late for you to have any pain medicine. Um, apparently I had
dilated a little bit farther than they had expected.
So, um, I wanted some pain medicine but they had told me that it was that
it was too late for that. And, um, so then I realized I was going to have
to give birth with no pain medicine. So in my mind, I was thinking about
how many women that I know that have had babies and they're still alive
because I thought I might die from the pain. So I would tell myself, you
know, so and so had a baby and they lived and so, and so had a baby and
they lived. So I think I can survive this. And then I started thinking of
the really wimpy people. I know that had babies and I'm like, well, she's
a wimp, she can't even handle a cold and she had a baby. So I should be
able to handle this. And then I started thinking farther back like, well,
native Americans used to have babies just out in the forest or wherever
they live and, you know, they had no pain medicine. So, or maybe they did
. I don't know. So I thought I can do this. So I really talked myself into
being ok in delivering.
So, excuse me, was your husband there or was your mother? My husband was
there. Um And I was glad he was there because he's a very, very calm
person, very calm and I knew that he would keep me calm. And I had worried
in the beginning that the pain would get so bad and I would start cussing
or throwing things or I heard stories of women cussing their husbands out
and saying you did this to me and, and I didn't want to blame him, you
know, for that, the pain. So I was worried about that. So I was very
conscious of not doing that to him. So, um, he was there and he comforted
me
was, um, it must have been difficult for him to see you in pain. Did he
talk about that at all? He never did except for um, I know he was
uncomfortable. He, I think he, he found it difficult to um, make me feel
better. He thought so he had that kind of, he doesn't know what to do. Um
, kind of the look on his face and, um, I think he felt sorry for me that
I was going through all that pain. Was there any position or anything that
you found that was helpful or were you on your back for a whole time? I
was on my back the whole time.
My labor started at three. I got to the hospital about 530. This is all
early in the morning. Um, and I had her by nine o'clock, so I wasn't in
the hospital that long. Um, really, you know, four hours, 3.5, 4 hours. So
I had thought about all these other positions or trying to make myself
more comfortable. I really wanted to turn on my side for some reason. It
felt like that would ease my pain. But um, the nurses told me not to do
that, that it would not be good for the baby. So I just stayed on my back.
So, um, at some point, you were checked and they were like, we're ready
and talk about that. Well, when they came in and said I was fully dilated
, um,
by then, you know, the pains are so severe but they tell you, they can
tell when you're having a contraction. So, um, I was told to push every
time I felt that. So, um, the pushing begins. So I had a heavy contraction
and I started pushing and, um, while I was pushing, the pain would go away.
So the contract, the pain of the contraction would go away. Uh, every
time I pushed. So I wanted to just keep pushing and they kept telling me
don't push when you're not having a contraction, please don't push. And I
can remember that the feeling that I, I just needed to push that, that,
that I couldn't control, not pushing. And I did tell them after a few
moments that I can't stop pushing, you know, I really can't stop. And, um
, I felt like it was almost an involuntary motion of pushing. And, uh,
they were like, yeah, the baby's coming right now. So, um, I think they
wanted me to push a little longer, but I, I just couldn't stop pushing. So
I think I might have pushed her out a little early. I don't know, but I
did, but I can remember feeling after her head came out, I can remember
feeling the shoulders and I think that was, I knew it was going to be
harder to push that part of the baby out. And um I worried about that. I
don't, I don't remember why I was so worried about that, but I do remember
tearing. So my doctor didn't believe in a Piot toy. So I just tore and I
can remember, it just felt like burning like somebody had just lit me on
fire down there.
But thankfully the baby came, come out, came out. And so you forget about
all that other pain. Did he stitch you up? Yes. Did you feel every stitch
? Yes, I felt the tugging and, and all of that. Um He did some stitches
internally and externally. So I think he said I had 14 altogether. So,
yeah, I was pretty tore up down there. But at the time after the baby's
out and they lay the baby on your stomach. You don't, you don't think
about stuff like that. Can you talk about that post experience? Yeah. It
was kind of interesting that they sent me home with this thing called a
Sitz bath. So I had to hook this up to my faucet. I wasn't allowed to wipe
after I went to the bathroom because of all the stitches. So I had this
thing that they gave me to attach to my toilet. So every time I urinated
or went to the bathroom, I had to use this, it was like a little sprinkler
system. So it would just wash me off down there. And um, I used things
like dermal blast and they um did light therapy. So they would take a lamp
with a 60 watt bulb and they would just shine that light down there on the
stitches. And I don't know if I guess they just don't do things like that
anymore. I mean, this is 1989 but they were still doing this at my
hospital. I went to and, um, they told me to continue with the light
therapy at home. So we, we had a lamp in the bed. My husband would set me
up with my light therapy and point the light bulb at me. How long was
recovering? Um, I think with all the sits bath and the light therapy
probably lasted about four or five days and then after that it was just
being careful and, and I can remember thinking about people that were up
sweeping and mopping and vacuuming after they have a baby. And I thought,
how did they do this? Because I couldn't even sit down in a chair. I had a
donut to sit on because I had stitches. And, um, yeah, I was amazed, I
started thinking that I didn't want to be a wimp but, you know, I was
trying to follow doctor's orders and take care of myself. So, were you
nursing? I was nursing. Yes. And that was probably more difficult than
then, you know, it was very, very painful at first and I don't think I was
doing it right in the beginning. Um, my nipples were cracked and bleeding.
Um, when she would latch on, I can remember that the pain was so bad that
I, my legs would tremble with pain. Um, when I called the doctor after a
couple of weeks of this, you know, he said, well, you know, you can take
Tylenol, it's safe for the baby. So I was like, well, duh, ok, I'll take
Tylenol and that helped a lot. Just a little bit of ease up on the pain
was, was kind of all I needed to get me over that hump. So, so that I
could nurse her and not be bleeding. I mean, it was horrible and
terrifying to me to see my child. Um, after nursing have blood around her
mouth. So it was terrifying. So, I was very happy to, um, get through that.
It was really difficult. So then she latched well and everything that
went ok. Yeah, it went ok. Um, the doctor told me to, um, that I could use
things that were natural, sort of like, um, vitamin E oil and things like
that because back then, I mean, they just didn't have things on the market
that you could go buy at the grocery store or at the CV S, you know. Um,
so I bought vitamin E oil and would rub that on my nipples trying to get
them healed. Um, I talked to people about if they nursed, what did they do
? And, um, I had a nurse tell me that if I just sat by an open window and
had the sunlight on me and had the sunlight on my nipples that, that would
help. I did that. Um, she told me to never wash them with soap. So I
didn't wash them with soap. Um, I tried to do everything they told me to
do to heal those nipples up so that I could continue nursing. I didn't ask
how much did she weigh? And she was £6.12 ounces. It is a good size
consider that I was so sick. Yeah, I mean, she was almost £7. So, yeah,
and she was a little early. Not much. Her due date was July 7th and I had
her on July 3rd. So she was just a few days early. I gained £60 and my son
was just over £7. Yeah, like £7.02 0 my daughter just gave birth and, um,
she gained about 45 £50 you know, and her baby was, uh, let's see, what
was she? I think she was about £7 even I think like 7172, something like
that. So is there um anything else about this story that you feel like you
have enough out that you want to think about? Um I don't think so. Other
than mm the first time I saw my mom after I gave birth, she came to the
hospital and she's looking at me and the baby and she told me she says you
have a little girl. So someday you're going to be by her side when she
gives birth. And I remember at the time I was thinking, why are you
rushing things? Mother? I just gave birth, you know, and but she was just
expressing how she felt that this was a beautiful moment for her and she
couldn't wait for me to feel that someday. So it was kind of interesting
and recently not with this grandchild, but with my first grandchild, I was
with my daughter and by her side when she gave birth. So yeah, it was a
beautiful feeling full circle. Yeah.
Um I'm going to, I normally ask this at the end. But I think, um, well, I
, I see now is so, well, at the end of a story, ask the um storyteller to
kind of think of um a word or a phrasing of words that kind of summarizes
their experience.
And that's a challenging question. Well, I, you know, having three kids, I
think when you first become pregnant, you wonder
sometimes will you, how will you love this baby? Will you love it? I mean
, what, what does that feel like? And um it's amazing to me because I
think when you give birth, you sort of grow another chamber in your heart
because you, you just don't realize that you can have that much love for
another human being. So it's this whole other part of your heart that you
can give that has love. You know, it's, it's just, it's just that your
heart just grows big enough to accommodate that much love.
That was good. Ok, perfect. All right on to the second. Ok. So if you take
us back to that too, is that um yeah, she, she was, well, we didn't know
she was a she but um the second pregnancy was definitely planned as well.
Um We wanted to wait until our first one.
you know, we wanted them two years apart and
we at least two years apart and um we decided when my firstborn was two
that, that was just too soon. So we waited a little while and then we
stopped using birth control so that we could get pregnant again. And um
sure enough, we pretty much got pregnant right when we thought we would.
Um I didn't feel the conception with my second pregnancy, but I just think
I was at first when I first felt the conception with my first one, I
thought that um it was something totally magical and spectacular and just
, you know, this, this was only going to happen once, but I kind of think
it happens that you just get busy and the situation may not be the same.
And so you just don't feel it every time. Um Because with my first one, I
was in a dark room laying quietly and it just happened and I felt it that
with my second one, I had no idea other than I started getting sick. So my
first morning waking up throwing up, I knew I was pregnant. So same thing
I did not buy a pregnancy kit. I just felt extremely ill and sick and I
just kind of knew that feeling. So I made an appointment with the doctor
to confirm. So, yeah.
So um did you expect it to be the same as the first and do everything the
same? I did? I expected it to be exactly the same, but it wasn't, I still
felt sick but I looked pregnant sooner. Um
I just felt like all my skin and everything had been stretched out. So it
was just ready to, like, let go. Um, I was still just as ill so I didn't
really gain weight in the beginning and I don't think I gained any weight
with my second one until I was about six months pregnant. So my body
weight stayed the same even though the baby was growing. Um, but again, my
doctor was very thorough and, um, he told me to not be too alarmed about
it and that, you know, she'll gain weight just fine whether I'm gaining
weight or not. So, um, but I, but she was bigger, she, um, was £8.03
ounces. So she was a lot bigger. But my diet was different when I was
pregnant with her. When I was pregnant with her. I just craved corn dogs
and Big Macs. So, um, I had a feeling, you know, that she might be bigger
just because of all the junk food I was eating. Does she have a taste for
junk food more than your first? She does. They eat similar to the way I
ate when I was pregnant with them. So my first born, she pulls the skin
off her chicken and she only eats grilled chicken, nothing fried. She
doesn't drink sodas. Um, she's very health conscious and eats very light.
Um, and then my middle daughter, my second uh, birth, she does, she tends
to like the corn dogs, the big Macs and things like that.
So, did you take the little ma again or did you remember? I remembered but
, um, I'm just one of those people that I feel like I need to, to do it.
You know, you take steps and do each step. I don't want to miss a step. So
I took LAMAs again and I, you know, I remembered most of it. So I think it
helped me with the second one as well. Um, the doctor
told me at some point that the baby was going to be bigger than the first
one. And, um, so that worried me because I remembered, you know, the pain
I felt and the ripping and the tearing. So I wasn't looking forward to
that. So I was very, very nervous about the birth of my second child. Were
you, um, living in the same area in the same? Yeah, living in the same
area. Um, hospital is still, you know, 35 minutes away. So, um, that was a
concern always, I just always felt like I didn't want to be home alone or
, you know, have my water break or something like that and, and no one to
help me. But, um, the second one worked out well because my mom asked me
to come and stay with her the last few weeks of my pregnancy just so that
I wouldn't be alone. So, um, my husband and I moved in with our daughter
to my mom's house, my parents' house and we stayed there until I went into
labor and went to the hospital. So, how is pregnancy with the little one?
Uh, it was ok. Um,
just after I got further along in my pregnancy, my daughter couldn't
understand why I couldn't pick her up so much because, um, she was just a
wee little thing. So I still carried her around a lot and so I think she
started to feel already like mommy's not the same, you know, things were
going to change. So,
um so is there anything else about the pregnancy part that I wanna mention
? Um No, with my second one, it was, it was planned, like I said, and um I
was sick just like I was with the first one. Um but with her being bigger
when it came time to deliver, it was um very different. And I remember
when she came out that the shoulders again were the hardest part. And um I
remember the nurses really trying to relax me and telling me to be as
still as possible while I was pushing that they were afraid that her
collar bone might get broken. So some babies are born with a broken
collarbone if they've come through the birth canal. And you know, it's
been an issue uh with big babies coming out. So they were concerned about
that. But luckily she was born um fine, no broken collar bone. But um I
tore again. And I can remember when she came out that I could tell she was
bigger. I remembered that feeling of giving birth the first time. And so
when she came out I was like, oh, my gosh, this one's a lot bigger, I
could tell. And I remember thinking if I had her first, I don't know that
I would have a second baby. I thought that.
So she's lucky she was born second.
Um, so how about the label? Was it? Because the last one was pretty short.
Yeah, this one was too, I started labor. Um,
actually with the second one because I was just getting so uncomfortable
because there was no room inside there because she took up a lot of room.
Um, I remember it was, um, May 1st and I told my mom because my mom said,
well, you must be getting pretty miserable. And I said, well, I am, I
can't eat, I can't sleep. I can't do anything because there's no room in
there. I can barely breathe, you know. So she says, well, you still have a
while to go because again she, her due date was May 12th. And, um, I was
like, no, I'm gonna have her tomorrow pretty much in my mind. I'm thinking
come hell or high water, this baby is coming out tomorrow. I'm done. I'm
completely done. And, um,
I had a doctor's appointment and I asked my doctor, um, this is the day
before I gave birth, I asked him what I could do and he's like, well,
there's all these wives tales, you know, you can go walking, you can do
this, you can do that. You can go on a bumpy car ride. You could, he says
, but really what will work is, um, if your husband stimulates your
nipples. And so I was like, well, ok, that didn't sound very medical to me
or I don't know, I didn't know what to think after he told me that. And he
said he can't just stop after five minutes, he's got to do it. You'll
start feeling contractions and when you start feeling contractions, you
need to keep up with the stimulation and you will go into labor. So I
remember telling my husband that night what he had to do and he was, he
was not convinced that he should do that. I think it kind of scared him a
little bit. But when we woke up in the morning, early in the morning, it
was about six o'clock in the morning on May 2nd. And I told him you've got
to do this because I can't go another day. I can't eat, I can't get
comfortable, you know, I'm miserable. So he decided he would help me out.
So we started with the nipple stimulation and I can remember the
contractions coming and I told him, OK, good. I've got contractions keep
going and then I don't know, it must have been about 15 or 20 minutes.
Then I got really scared because I was like, oh my gosh, I've put myself
into labor. So I remember feeling kind of frightened and scared. I was
like, now I'm in labor. Now. What am I gonna do? So,
and once again I took a shower, shaved my legs, um, tried to relax but the
pains just kept coming. So I was in labor. So I went to the hospital, I
think around it must have been close to eight o'clock in the morning.
I didn't have her until almost two. So it was about 130 when I had her.
Wow, that's amazing. That, that worked. That's great. Yeah, it worked.
Your mother must have been like, and I didn't tell her what we were doing.
So she has no idea how I went into labor. But, um, yeah, so I put myself
into labor but it scared me afterwards and I don't know if that was just a
coincidence or if that really worked. So you seem to have a really strong
, like, mind body connection now. So I'm, yeah. Yeah, I might have just
talked myself into labor. I don't know. Ok, so you've already talked about
the giving birth pa part, the feeling of everything.
I always think, you know, our hands seem like they would have the most
nerve ending, but it's amazing how certain parts of yourself and like,
feel everything. Um So why don't you talk about the just afterwards part
was that the same or did they put her on your chest? They did, I think
that was kind of a common thing to do. Um, just as soon as they cut the
cord, you know, and, and the baby's crying and, and they just kinda lay
the baby naked on your naked body so that you get the skin to skin contact.
Um
So I had that II I don't ever forget that feeling. I don't think you ever
do having your baby laying just after they're born right on top of you
because it comes out of your body. So you feel this great release,
this, this giant thing. Well, to you, it's giant comes out and then it
gets laying on top of you and it's moving and it's breathing and it's
trying to open its eyes and look at you and yeah, I don't think I'll ever
forget that feeling. So what did you think when you found she was a girl?
I was happy. Um
I don't I think because my husband and I planned it. So down to the almost
to their birth stones. What month we wanted them born in that? Um
I, we were happy because we had already told ourselves that we were gonna
be happy uh whether we had two girls, two boys or a girl and a boy. So I
was happy. She was healthy. She was big and healthy. So she cried a lot
less than my first one. How was the nursing? Nursing went? Great. I, I
knew what not to do and, um, so it went great. I didn't have the issues
that I had with the first one. So, was there anything unexpected besides
the weight? Um, well, after she was born and I was nursing, what was
unexpected is she's four months old and she had teeth pop through and,
I mean, I was shocked because we weren't even feeling for tooth knobs or
anything at that point. And um I don't know why, but it kind of alarmed me
like why is she getting teeth so early, you know, um kind of like an alien
baby or something? I thought babies don't get teeth at four months old but
she did, um it was soon after that I stopped nursing and I, you know, you
can nurse a baby with teeth as I found out with my third one. But I think
because I was just scared that she had teeth so early. I, I stopped
nursing her and almost because I wanted to start um giving her formula and
feeding her food early. I I in my mind, I thought she's ready for food
almost. So
I didn't nurse her as long. I think that she was completely waned at six
months old.
So um is there anything about this uh birth that stands out to you or that
um you wanna mention um for her um I just think it was just so different
because she took up so much room that um you know, you don't realize what
happens inside your body when you're growing this baby in there. So for
her, other than being sick, like I had been, um it was just that feeling
of something is really giant growing inside of me. You know, I worried
about all my organs and my stomach. I couldn't eat, I could barely breathe
because she was just pushing on everything.
Did you find after you had your babies that your body kind of went back to
normal? Well, I think with nursing it helps because when you nurse, at
least when I nursed, I would get contractions again. So the doctors and
the nurses told me that that might happen and that, that's a good thing
because that's just kind of your uterus going back to its normal shape and
size. So I think the nursing helped.
All right, I think we can go to the third birth. Ok. Um So yeah. So were
you had you planned on having three Children? No, not at all. And when I
started throwing up and feeling sick, I knew I couldn't be pregnant
because we were using birth control. So
I was trying to figure out why I felt so terrible. Finally I decided to go
to the doctor. I was so concerned. I thought that I was really sick like I
had something wrong with me, um, like some sort of disease or something.
And I remember feeling so scared because I was like, well, if I die and
then, you know, my kids are going to be left alone and it was a horrible
feeling and the doctors, I go to the doctor so he's doing all his normal
stuff. You know, look in your nose, mouth, ears and throat and feel you
and ask you about your periods and everything else. And, um, he wanted me
to do a urinalysis and I felt fine about that. I just kind of wanted to
get to the bottom of what was wrong with me because I knew it was
something horrible. And, um, the doctor comes in after a couple of hours
it seemed, and he says, so, June 5th, how do you feel about June 5th? And
I'm thinking he's asking me if I wanna have surgery or if I'm gonna die or
I'm thinking June 5th, is that when I die, is that Ami supposed to have
surgery? What's going on? And I said for what, you know, and in my mind,
all these things are rolling around. And, um, he says for to have a baby
and I was like, no, I've been using birth control. I know I'm not pregnant.
I have a horrible disease and he says, no, you're pregnant. So I think I
might have cried, you know, and I sort of felt like
I just got my youngest one into getting ready to go to kindergarten. And I
was thinking about all this freedom I was going to have while the kids are
in school and now I'm pregnant so it'll start all over again. Diapers,
nursing. So, um, I wouldn't say that I was unhappy or mad or angry. I was
kind of in shock and I did sort of feel sorry for myself. Like suddenly
some freedoms were taken away from me. Um, but I still loved whatever if
it was a boy or a girl grown inside of me. I, I was ok. All right. I'm
gonna have another baby. Tell me about it when you broke the news to your
husband. Uh Well, so I called and he was at work and I said, you know, I
went to the doctor today and he's like, yeah, you know, how are you? Ok?
Because he, because he knew I kept telling him, you know, that I was dying
or something. He's like, are you ok? And I said, well, you know, the
doctor asked me about June 5th and he kind of said, well, what the hell
has June 5th got to do with anything? And I said, well, apparently I'm
gonna have a baby and that's my due date and silence. I hear just silence
on the other end. So I wasn't sure, you know what was going on. So I kind
of said hello, hello.
And then I hear all this rustling around and everything. And finally he
says, you know, I can't believe it and then I can tell that he's crying
but he's ecstatic. He's so happy that he burst into tears and he's happy.
So then I felt really crappy that I had the reaction I did because I sort
of felt like some freedoms were being taken away from me and he was the
most excited with this one than I think, even with the ones that were
planned.
Well, it was a surprise,
it was a surprise. Um, ok, so let's get into the pregnancy part. Um, yeah
, the pregnancy part, this third one was, um, almost identical to my first
one. I was sick again. I didn't gain a lot of weight. I think I gained
about £20 with him too. I gained £24 with my second one. So with all three
of them, I didn't gain much weight but just had to do with, I was sick so
much. So I gained £20 with him. I had the cutest little pregnancy belly.
Um, I was sick but of course I was in love with whatever baby was growing
inside of me. And by then, um, my doctor had stepped into, you know, more
modern type thinking. So he had asked me if I wanted to have a sonogram
and find out the uh sex of the baby. And I wasn't offered that with my
first two. So I was a bit nervous, but I said sure, why not? So I can
remember finding out that it was a boy and I had a lot of feelings and one
of them was being nervous because I, I remember thinking, well, when you
change the diaper of a girl, baby, you, you do it and it's done. And then
I can remember thinking, what do you do with a boy baby? You know, is it
the same? Is it? I remember like, I don't know if I can have a boy, I'm
used to girls. So,
but the pregnancy, the pregnancy I I would say went very well. Um I wasn't
shocked or concerned about things as much. I wasn't as scared.
I just, I tried to enjoy it as much as I could because I knew that after I
had him, I was gonna have my tubes tied and I wasn't gonna have any more.
Um So I wanted to enjoy that pregnancy as much as I could even though I
was sick. So I really just tried to be happy and I tried not to make my
little girls feel bad because while I was pregnant, I had this like
superhuman smell, I could smell things. I mean if somebody was smoking a
cigarette next door, I could probably smell that. Um and my kids they
started to smell like puppies to me and they would go outside and play and
then come in and just the smell on their hair. I would, I would throw up,
the smell of them made me throw up and they didn't stink. It was just the
scent they had on them.
Were they pretty, like geared up about having a brother? Oh, they were
excited. They were so excited. Um,
and, and they remain excited. They love their brother so much and when he
was born they just, they took care of him and when he was a toddler I
couldn't even yell at him because they would don't yell at the baby and um
they just coddled him and, and they still, they think he's like the
greatest thing.
So, um where is this an early labor term? Uh My due date was June 5th and
my doctor decided that if I didn't go into labor on June 5th, that he
would induce me because my second child was over £8 and he didn't want me
to have another big baby like that. Um So he said, if you don't go into
labor, then I'll induce you. So I, I had an appointment at the hospital at
7 a.m. and um I went to the hospital to be induced, but I, I was having
labor pains. They just weren't very strong and they weren't very close
together. So the nurses decided to just wait and see if I progressed and I
progressed. So my labor pains uh got stronger and got closer together and
they're like, we're doing this, you don't need to be induced. So I was
there. It was, it was so weird to me that I was there on my due date to be
induced and I ended up in labor. So I'm not surprised at all. I think
that's just you. Yeah. So, um, so where the contractions and everything
that they feel the same? Um, it's funny because I forget the pain I had
when I was in labor and giving birth to my son. I don't know why I
remember my daughters the pain and the labor pain. But with my son, I
don't know why I just, everything just seems softer. All the memories seem
softer, I think because I knew he was going to be my last one. They didn't
want anything negative attached to the birth or the labor. So I think I
just told myself that was, everything went great. Like I didn't feel a
thing but I did and I had stitches again, but I just don't remember it as
much as I, you know, the pain as much. How big was he? Um, he was 6, um,
13. Well, no, he was 6, 12. My first one was 613. So he was 612.
Um, was the process of labor and delivery the same then. Yeah, it was the
same. Um,
just keeping track of my labor and, um, the same when things, when I had a
contraction I would push, um, everything went off without a hitch,
did you feel that head and shoulders? I did. But I don't, I don't remember
it hurting as bad. Um, I remember when he came out that I felt like he
felt the same as my first one. You know, I was like, ok, now this one
feels like the first one. I could definitely tell the difference that he
was not as large as my second one. So, and they put them on your chest.
Yeah, same thing. Put them on my chest. Um,
he wanted to nurse right away and they thought that was fantastic because
they were like, wow, he's ready to go. He's, you know, he's alert and he
knows what he's supposed to do. So, and, and then by then I consider
myself a pro at breastfeeding. So, so I went without a hitch without a
hitch. I didn't have to take Tylenol. Um, my legs didn't tremble with pain.
So, yeah. So, uh, when did you introduce her to the girls? And they were
at the hospital, uh, my mom brought them while I was in labor. So they
were just waiting. So, as soon as they wheeled me out into my private room
, um, the girls were in there waiting so they got to see their little
brother right away. So
all of a sudden we became this big family, all of a sudden I had three
kids.
So, how was those diaper changes? Ah, they, the kids helped and, um, dad
was extremely helpful. So I got through it. It wasn't as bad as I thought
it was going to be the. Yeah. Yeah, I've worn, yeah, I've worn spit up and
poop and been peed on several times. Yeah.
All right. So that's your last word. Is there anything, um, that you wanna
say, in summary of that, of that experience? Um,
no, it's just my daughters and I have talked about how, what a blessing
that my son is. Um I guess because he was such a surprise and he wasn't
planned, they were totally planned. I mean, we really wanted, you know, we
planned their, their birth month, their birth stones, everything. So it
was such a a shock and a surprise. So
um i it's almost like we not that we appreciate it more, but I don't know
, he's just really special.
That's perfect. That's perfect ending. Yeah. And one thing, um could you
talk a little bit? Thank you. Could you talk a little bit about sort of
like right before realizing you were pregnant and kind of how you had felt
like your family was complete. You had planned for these two and then kind
of like move into the transition into realizing having a mother. Yeah, it
was difficult even for me to tell my mom that I was pregnant after I found
out. But um
you know, when you've got this thing, like we had the house with the
swimming pool and um you know, a Labrador retriever and two Children, a
minivan and a pickup truck and, and that's what we wanted. That's what we
, that was what we had decided our life was gonna be. Um, so when I became
pregnant, it was, it was really complicated because all of a sudden now
what do we do? Well, we had a three bedroom house and, you know, you think
of all these things like, well, what are we gonna do? Because now there's
this new thing that is, um, that we have to think about. And as I
mentioned before, I, I felt like some of my freedoms were going to be
taken away and telling my mom she kind of, I mean, she reacted in a way
like almost like, oh, no. Well, now what are you guys gonna do? You know,
and I can remember feeling at that moment like, well, you know, don't make
it sound like that, you know, it's not like he's unwanted or I didn't know
it was a he at the time, but it's not like this pregnancy is unwanted, it
was just not planned for and it was a shock and a surprise that, um, so it
was difficult. I, I always felt like while I was pregnant that my mom
because my mom doted on my girls and while I was pregnant, I felt like my
mom wouldn't have room for another one because the two girls were always
the two girls I'll pick the girls up. I've got the girls, it's the girls,
girls, girls, um, she shopped for them all the time and when we found out
he was a boy, you know, I just kept thinking, is he gonna feel left out?
You know, is he gonna feel unwanted?
You know, I don't want this baby growing inside me to ever feel unwanted.
Um,
so that I think was my biggest concern was just, I did not want him to
ever feel like he was unwanted. It was quite the opposite. Yeah. I mean,
sure threw a wrench in all of my, you know, ideas I had of, you know, I
had my little perfect little life. Um, but he definitely was, was very
wanted and so we love them. Ok. Yeah. Excellent. Ok. Anything else about
the experience before we turn off? No, I don't think so. All right. I have
to stop. I was, no, it's not about an account
this.