It was kind of a surprise when I found out that I was pregnant. We're
Catholic. My husband's like Mr Catholic. And so we use natural family
planning. And so when we got married, our friends were laughing at us like
that's not gonna work because I took the pill for a long time and it had
all the side effects. And then I tried the depo a shot and the first time
it was great. Second time I was like three months, chaotic mess. And then
my husband at the time, like we were dating, but he was like, why don't
you just go off of it and we'll try this natural flame of planning and
we'll just see what happens and it worked. It worked for five years. So,
and like, really, I think I was getting lazy and tracking my, my ovulation
cycle. So I really think that that's how it all happens. But for the most
part, like if you do it, it completely works. So it works to get pregnant
and it works not to get pregnant. I went to work one day and felt very
nauseous and sick and I went to the doctor and he thought, oh, you just
have a sinus infection. And I was about to go to Mexico City and I was
like, you know, I should probably take a pregnancy test just in case I
went home and took a pregnancy test. It was like, yes. And I was like, oh
, that's never said yes before. And so, and my husband at the time was
like, he was like, kind of like, I don't know, you know, having kids. It's
like, it's kind of nice not having kids because we were married for five
years. But then I was like, oh no, I'm gonna have to go tell him. So I
went and I told him he was ecstatic and we said we wanted a child in the
first five years. It turned out that she was born 2.5 weeks after our
fifth anniversary. So it was good timing though. I was really excited. I'm
adopted. It was like a mixed emotions as with most major things in your
life. It was like, I was really happy and excited. But then I was like
kind of sad and because I'm estranged from my adopted family. And so then
I was like, oh wow, this is like on me, there was that kind of part of me
of like, ok, I'm kind of on my own as a mom. Like I don't have anyone to
refer to, but mostly I was excited and when I had Alice I is 35 years old
. I was sick all the time, like sick, throwing up sick. So it was, I was
constantly nauseous. I felt like a completely different person because I'm
usually a pretty healthy person. But any smell, like everything had a
smell and every smell was absolutely obnoxious. And especially because
like, when I first got pregnant our trip, we went to Mexico City. So it
was like the city of bad smells. But you know, someone told me it was like
, well, if you're sick all the time, you'll have a healthy baby. So I'm
like, ok, but there were times when I was throwing up so much that it was
becoming dehydrated and I lost like 30 or £40 in my first six months of
pregnancy. After six months, the nausea went away and then I was able to
eat and you know, do all those things for um for the next three months. So
I went to the doctor had all the tests. Everything was great being a
person who does not know my family history. The fear of that is that if
anything medically goes wrong and you're in a birthing center, like they
still have to take you to the you or the child to the hospital. And that's
time, that's time that the baby could need or you need. More importantly,
the baby could need that, you know, if there's resuscitation or something
, I didn't want to take that risk. So it was in May and my brother in law
died a week before my daughter was, my sister in law had her son six
months before and it was her husband that died. He found out he had
pancreatic cancer, uh three days after her son was born. So it was, it was
difficult to say the least emotionally like the whole family. It was just
a mess. It was hard, it was hard for everyone to go to a funeral, you know
, and it, it, his funeral I think was on the day that we thought Alice was
due. It turned out that she was gonna be late. She, uh, ended up to be
born on the oldest son's, his oldest son's birthday, which was really
crazy. So that part was really hard because it was, it's my husband's
whole family and they've always been like very together. And when that
happened, it put an instant splinter through the whole entire family. The
funeral happened and then it was kind of like a waiting game. So I didn't
go back to work after my brother in law died. I just took off work didn't
go back to work until Alice was born. I was supposed to give birth. We
went to the doctor and he was like, well, we'll give it some more time. We
gave it more time and then they finally called us and said, well, ok, come
in the hospital and we'll have to induce you. And so I was induced, it
took about 48 hours of being induced. That was emotionally really
difficult because his whole family was there and then my family wasn't
there. And my sister in law was like, you know, I just had a baby. So here
she is, her husband had just passed away and then she was the one being
like kind of more of that role model for me, which was very sweet, but, uh
, yeah, very tough at the same time. So finally they said, well, we should
probably start you on your epidural because you're gonna go into labor
soon. You're go, you might have some pain and it's gonna be sudden. And so
let's start you on that. So he started me on that and then the doctor came
in to check and he, he, he, he checked and left and he said, well, you're
not really dilated. And then the nurse came in to check and she asked me,
she goes, did you ever have any kind of cryogenic surgery on your cervix?
And I said, yeah, why? And she goes, oh, that's what's going on. And she
went and got the doctor and then the doctor, I guess, because I had this
surgery, he had to go in and I had scar tissue on my, he had to go in and
break the scar tissue open and then, so I could become dilated. So I had
put all this information in my file when I of course, went to see him. So
I was really surprised that I had to say this again or mention it or I
never thought of it. So so, but then after that, then I immediately became
dilated, but then I became very nauseous. All I can remember is pushing
and taking a break, throwing up, pushing, taking a break, throwing up. I
would, I mean, it was amazing like she looked just like my husband. That
was the first thing. Like I was so excited to see this child that might
look like me and then she gets handed to me. And I was like, oh, she looks
just like you, which I mean, my husband's adorable. So I was like, oh, ok
, great. She's a good, like a baby. But I was really excited. It was, it
was great to see someone like of my own flesh implied because I'd never
known that in my life. But I was also concerned because I was like, oh, I
don't really know what I'm doing as a mother here. Like there's, I've
never changed a diaper. I've never given a bottle. I've never breast fed
like I don't know these things. So I was, I was concerned too and she
would go through these phases of screaming and this and that. And I think
I must have been that way too as a baby. I hear a story. I heard stories
from my great aunt that used to say, oh, you were in your crib just
screaming and I would go in and I would get you and I'd be your hero. So
we actually named Alice after that. And in turn, I did find my biological
parents and had a relationship with my father and his mother was named
Alice, which is crazy. So it was, it turned out that it was a family name
and we just had no idea that was a family name. So, you know, with like
weird family life and all that stuff that it really helped me solidify,
like who I am. I think discovery, like, I kind of figured out who I was.