WEBVTT 00:00:00.009 --> 00:00:06.896 This is Forres Solis interviewing Ramona Tucci on June 21st, 2016 at 2:45 00:00:06.929 --> 00:00:11.267 p.m. for the creative push project. Ok. So if you can take us back to the 00:00:11.300 --> 00:00:15.347 conception of the first for, what were the circumstances? Was it planned? 00:00:15.380 --> 00:00:20.736 Excited? Um Well, me and my boyfriend, we were very young. We were 18 and 00:00:20.769 --> 00:00:23.925 uh I remember 00:00:23.958 --> 00:00:31.765 to that point of New York. So. Ok. Uh I was 18 and um we really wanted to 00:00:31.798 --> 00:00:37.826 be together. I know that wasn't a very good choice but uh we had a baby 00:00:37.859 --> 00:00:45.859 and then um we have another one but my first pregnancy, I had to get 00:00:47.389 --> 00:00:54.246 certain care and it was only through my tribe at first and um we would go 00:00:54.279 --> 00:01:02.279 down to the doctor in uh Phoenix for a while and then um wasn't really 00:01:02.469 --> 00:01:07.406 anything strange or anything different with her birth. She was pretty 00:01:07.439 --> 00:01:15.439 normal. Uh My health was pretty normal. Um She was a big kid though and uh 00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:22.786 she is seven and she's really tall now. 00:01:22.819 --> 00:01:29.286 Excuse me? Did you know what to expect? Did you have like family support? 00:01:29.319 --> 00:01:34.376 Um When I did 00:01:34.409 --> 00:01:38.665 get pregnant with her. She, 00:01:38.698 --> 00:01:46.698 let's see, I did get help, um, from my family, a lot of help. His mom took 00:01:47.469 --> 00:01:55.469 care of me most of, um, of my pregnancy and my mom, she really slowly came 00:01:57.150 --> 00:02:02.337 around to the idea of me being pregnant. Um, she also had kids as a young 00:02:02.370 --> 00:02:10.116 teenager too. Um, but my daughters was pretty normal. My sons is really 00:02:10.149 --> 00:02:16.827 the one that has a lot more stories around it. I had him a couple years 00:02:16.860 --> 00:02:23.327 later. Um, I did want my, my, uh, next child and my next child after him, 00:02:23.360 --> 00:02:28.737 I want him five years apart. So I've been really lucky to have them one 00:02:28.770 --> 00:02:36.770 month apart too. So, uh, his birthday is next month and, um, he 00:02:37.270 --> 00:02:42.156 was really a unique, um, 00:02:42.189 --> 00:02:47.846 pregnancy because at first we, my relationship did have a lot of ups and 00:02:47.879 --> 00:02:55.879 downs emotionally. I was not that well. And, um, I literally had a 00:02:56.129 --> 00:03:01.737 relationship problems. So I didn't get to go see the doctor until I was 00:03:01.770 --> 00:03:07.085 literally at least five months pregnant. So it was a long time. Um, he 00:03:07.118 --> 00:03:12.707 really wasn't focused on what we were trying to do as a family. Um, I've 00:03:12.740 --> 00:03:20.156 had some miscarriages, um, in between two when I was younger. And, uh, for 00:03:20.189 --> 00:03:27.755 from the age of 14, I had, um, uh, what's it called? An abortion? Because 00:03:27.788 --> 00:03:34.136 we accidentally got pregnant. And, um, he was, 00:03:34.169 --> 00:03:41.085 it was kind of hard because as a child I was abused sexually by family 00:03:41.118 --> 00:03:49.118 members of my stepdad side. And um, so it, the abortion and the 00:03:50.000 --> 00:03:55.967 miscarriages. Um I still do think my Children are on the other side. If 00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:02.707 anyone's spiritual, I think they are, you know, just like my kids now and 00:04:02.740 --> 00:04:08.505 I feel spiritually that they do come around still. And uh, but my, those 00:04:08.538 --> 00:04:14.626 births I still hold on to, they live on the other side. They are human, I 00:04:14.659 --> 00:04:19.036 mean, not human but something, I don't know what yet, but I do know that 00:04:19.069 --> 00:04:26.817 my Children are still there. So that's the three that I really cherish. Um 00:04:26.850 --> 00:04:32.786 , my son though, I did get diabetes when we're almost hitting that 00:04:32.819 --> 00:04:39.486 borderline of diabetes. Uh, so that was really surprising. Um, and that 00:04:39.519 --> 00:04:44.515 was around when I was like six months pregnant with him. This is the 00:04:44.548 --> 00:04:49.555 second birth, my son. Do you think that was at all? Like, I think it was 00:04:49.588 --> 00:04:57.588 more stress too and um, not having my partner there? And, uh, 00:04:59.290 --> 00:05:02.736 let's see, what else? 00:05:02.769 --> 00:05:05.976 So, were you doing it on your own? At this point? I was basically doing it 00:05:06.009 --> 00:05:12.007 on my own. I was literally trying to stay healthy. But, um, he, we only 00:05:12.040 --> 00:05:19.916 had one ride. We only and, uh, but it, it was good because later on we did 00:05:19.949 --> 00:05:27.226 find out that, you know, he was kind of cheating on me. And, um, yeah, 00:05:27.259 --> 00:05:32.356 made us stronger in the end though because he did realize after his son 00:05:32.389 --> 00:05:37.947 was born he, he told me right away after he came out that he was sorry, he 00:05:37.980 --> 00:05:43.416 , you know, he, he did not know how much trouble he put me through and 00:05:43.449 --> 00:05:50.426 that he understands now and there's a lot of things when we go somewhere 00:05:50.459 --> 00:05:57.096 where they've been and I'm still having some emotional stress towards that. 00:05:57.129 --> 00:06:03.765 But uh, both pregnancies have been a blessing. They've both been 00:06:03.798 --> 00:06:09.325 blessings. So that's why I am glad I still have Children because there was 00:06:09.358 --> 00:06:13.366 a point where I was told with the abortion, I would not be able to have 00:06:13.399 --> 00:06:20.015 kids. So I literally had to pray for my kids. Well, were you when you were 00:06:20.048 --> 00:06:22.986 18 and you got pregnant? Were you thinking that you couldn't get pregnant 00:06:23.019 --> 00:06:29.075 ? Well, at that point, it was more of me and my boyfriend just wanting to 00:06:29.108 --> 00:06:35.067 hang on to each other. He was my first love and being hurt so many times 00:06:35.100 --> 00:06:42.276 and letting you know just this man, hold me, you know, cress me and really 00:06:42.309 --> 00:06:47.067 love me for me instead of just all this abuse that I had in my life, like 00:06:47.100 --> 00:06:55.100 I felt loved for first time and, and that's kind of where we were like, oh 00:06:55.209 --> 00:07:01.776 , ok. Um if we because our parents had told us one time his mom, if you 00:07:01.809 --> 00:07:09.526 were 18, it would have been at least. Ok. So how old were you? I was 14 00:07:09.559 --> 00:07:15.317 when I first had my abortion and then I was 18 with the same with the same 00:07:15.350 --> 00:07:19.586 man. So we've been together ever since we were in middle school. Yeah, we 00:07:19.619 --> 00:07:27.067 met actually over there across the street um in the old casino. So this 00:07:27.100 --> 00:07:31.937 whole reservation right here is like a lot of history between me and him. 00:07:31.970 --> 00:07:39.970 Um So we're still together, still married. I it took a lot out of me to 00:07:40.100 --> 00:07:45.586 find balance between my family and having my own stuff and then having him 00:07:45.619 --> 00:07:51.606 together with me. Um, a lot of apologizing, a lot of, I regret doing this 00:07:51.639 --> 00:07:59.639 and a lot of reassuring happened and um yeah, we got married and had a 00:08:00.678 --> 00:08:08.678 reception here and uh Kawhi was the, the boy was maybe five months old. 00:08:10.069 --> 00:08:14.377 Do you, have you been able to trust him again? Like emotionally? I think I 00:08:14.410 --> 00:08:22.410 have um not a lot, but I think I have came around to, I trust you to have 00:08:23.119 --> 00:08:27.197 a phone because at first it was a lot of trouble to have a phone in our 00:08:27.230 --> 00:08:32.635 relationship, especially a smartphone because that's what he had. And 00:08:32.668 --> 00:08:37.836 thank goodness I was technology, you know, just knowledgeable about 00:08:37.869 --> 00:08:42.895 technology because uh that was the way I found out it was, it was a lot of 00:08:42.928 --> 00:08:49.746 being so crazy. I lost a really good job across the street from it. Um 00:08:49.779 --> 00:08:55.917 Yeah, so when I lost everything, I've literally lost everything and then I 00:08:55.950 --> 00:09:03.950 got bad into um just, just being home all the time and just, and then 00:09:04.229 --> 00:09:09.106 getting pregnant, I thought that would help heal from the first one, which 00:09:09.139 --> 00:09:13.547 it did because it gave me a new, you know, but there was always that 00:09:13.580 --> 00:09:19.246 frightening, um, feeling that this could be taken away from me like this 00:09:19.279 --> 00:09:24.667 baby could literally stop and I could just, it could just fall out and I 00:09:24.700 --> 00:09:32.096 was like losing the carriage was my, was my biggest fear ever having a 00:09:32.129 --> 00:09:38.336 baby. And he talks about wanting to have another one. But my, I'm afraid 00:09:38.369 --> 00:09:44.025 with, um, just how my body's been and, and what has been put through, I'm 00:09:44.058 --> 00:09:47.717 afraid that I might lose another one and I might have to have that long 00:09:47.750 --> 00:09:54.625 distance relationship again. So, yeah. Yeah, you've really been through a 00:09:54.658 --> 00:09:59.677 lot and you guys, it's just so in awe the fact that you're together and 00:09:59.710 --> 00:10:05.125 like you said, stronger as a result. But, you know, to certainly not to 00:10:05.158 --> 00:10:12.586 let him off the hook, but, um, the youthfulness of it to probably played 00:10:12.619 --> 00:10:16.275 into some of those bad decisions. And now do you feel like you're in a 00:10:16.308 --> 00:10:20.625 different place because you're more mature? Yes. Yes. Um The things that 00:10:20.658 --> 00:10:26.677 I've done before we got married though, I think really made me a stronger 00:10:26.710 --> 00:10:34.427 person though because we were just 18. We couldn't do nothing. 00:10:34.460 --> 00:10:42.336 Literally. I used to do, let him go to strip clubs and let him get dances 00:10:42.369 --> 00:10:48.407 and just literally stand to the side because I felt like, um, this man is 00:10:48.440 --> 00:10:51.657 willing to be with me for the rest of my life. He's never gonna venture 00:10:51.690 --> 00:10:58.836 out like this. Um, let's do this while you're, you're young and we're not 00:10:58.869 --> 00:11:05.135 married yet. Let it get him out of his system. He, I don't know how I let 00:11:05.168 --> 00:11:08.316 him think that he could just, you know, go out and do it on his own. I 00:11:08.349 --> 00:11:13.686 told him I never wanted that, but now it's really paid off because he 00:11:13.719 --> 00:11:17.596 doesn't have a desire to do those things. He doesn't have that desire to 00:11:17.629 --> 00:11:22.467 go be pleased like that. He just, he's seen how far we can go, how much 00:11:22.500 --> 00:11:29.686 money you can spend, how much it sends you down into a downhill. So I, I 00:11:29.719 --> 00:11:35.217 have good and bad reasons with that of why I made that decision. But now 00:11:35.250 --> 00:11:43.167 I'm happy I did because uh he's amazing now. He, 00:11:43.200 --> 00:11:48.407 he helps me and supports me and on so much things so literally going 00:11:48.440 --> 00:11:56.057 through bad for so long and then just working it out and making sure um 00:11:56.090 --> 00:12:00.946 you guys always communicate. Communication, I think is like key role. I 00:12:00.979 --> 00:12:05.375 mean, they don't lie, key key role. It would be probably communication and 00:12:05.408 --> 00:12:10.836 , and just supporting each other because I support him. And now we have 00:12:10.869 --> 00:12:14.395 like so many businesses, like I said, we have the fry bread business we do 00:12:14.428 --> 00:12:19.967 on the weekends. So I've really come like a really big um kind of like a 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:26.346 light in his room. So I sell fry bread. He's able to, you know, get 00:12:26.379 --> 00:12:32.096 benefits from that. I'm able to contribute a lot more and I don't feel so 00:12:32.129 --> 00:12:36.236 depressed, like I used to be where I felt like I just had to stay home and 00:12:36.269 --> 00:12:42.946 then getting this job. So I literally can say I have so much faith that I 00:12:42.979 --> 00:12:48.856 think I could really show someone who else has faith that as long as you 00:12:48.889 --> 00:12:55.856 keep going and even if you want kids, you can have it. Yeah, that's great. 00:12:55.889 --> 00:12:59.907 Um Did you, what was life uh at home with the kids? I mean, were you 00:12:59.940 --> 00:13:04.667 nursing? Were they, did they have any issues or? Um, my first daughter, 00:13:04.700 --> 00:13:10.125 she was able to be uh 00:13:10.158 --> 00:13:14.736 breastfed from 00:13:14.769 --> 00:13:21.446 most of her first year. She was really, really good at breastfeeding. She 00:13:21.479 --> 00:13:27.316 would never ever latch on to me. I just had always a problem with that. Um 00:13:27.349 --> 00:13:31.265 I didn't really like doing that. I'd rather have it, you know, suctioned 00:13:31.298 --> 00:13:38.145 out and then bottle fed. Um But the concern with that was teeth and, and 00:13:38.178 --> 00:13:42.336 stuff like that would, would it grow? Right? Would they, you know, from a 00:13:42.369 --> 00:13:50.369 natural nipple, from a birthing bottle? So it, I chose to do half and half. 00:13:51.609 --> 00:13:57.346 Um with my son though, I really had difficulty with him latching on with 00:13:57.379 --> 00:14:05.236 um with him drinking it. Uh when he did drink it, he would get frustrated 00:14:05.269 --> 00:14:12.746 because it wouldn't flow. Um I tried and tried the first day he came out, 00:14:12.779 --> 00:14:18.616 I tried to pump and pump and pump and it was so hard to, I don't know why 00:14:18.649 --> 00:14:24.667 it was, but it was like that and it was really weird because I had a tooth 00:14:24.700 --> 00:14:28.917 problem and I did not know that going into labor. So when they put the 00:14:28.950 --> 00:14:35.096 oxygen tank on me with the, with my second one, I got really, really bad 00:14:35.129 --> 00:14:42.726 headache, like migraine headache. And so after I had my baby, I still felt 00:14:42.759 --> 00:14:49.736 that way. I felt like the epidural too on my second one messed my, um, my 00:14:49.769 --> 00:14:57.769 backup. Yes, because of the epidural. Um, I have no idea. The 00:14:58.058 --> 00:15:02.696 anesthesiologist I remember just leaning over round it. My first one went 00:15:02.729 --> 00:15:10.729 perfect. I knew what to do and I had to do a blood patch because I just 00:15:13.330 --> 00:15:18.927 don't know why there was just a bad shock that went down my right leg and 00:15:18.960 --> 00:15:26.960 it literally went flying up and he said that he had to do another one, but 00:15:27.029 --> 00:15:34.557 he and I had to do blood blood French or something like that. Transfusions. 00:15:34.590 --> 00:15:38.686 Yeah, I had to do that. They did that and then they went ahead and numbed 00:15:38.719 --> 00:15:46.719 me again. So it was really hard because now when I try to bend over, lift 00:15:48.149 --> 00:15:56.149 up stuff, it is so much harder than what it was so epidural for my next 00:15:56.808 --> 00:16:02.356 one, I'm not sure. And that's the, another concern is, is the epidurals. 00:16:02.389 --> 00:16:07.927 And, um, I just don't, I don't think so. Did you have them both vaginally 00:16:07.960 --> 00:16:10.547 ? 00:16:10.580 --> 00:16:15.417 Yeah. Was your, uh, partner there? Uh, my partner was there for both of 00:16:15.450 --> 00:16:19.417 them. So I did get to have him there for both of them. Did you know the 00:16:19.450 --> 00:16:22.436 sexes? I, 00:16:22.469 --> 00:16:28.096 yes, the second one I was more, um, at the end of my pregnancy, that's 00:16:28.129 --> 00:16:33.005 when Jordan came back to me. My husband's name is Jordan, so he came back 00:16:33.038 --> 00:16:41.038 to me. Um and we kind of got to have a normal baby event. So I'm, I'm not 00:16:43.340 --> 00:16:49.515 sure what they would call it baby shower type stuff. No, kind of like just 00:16:49.548 --> 00:16:53.446 the stuff that you get to do, like the measuring the belly and stuff like 00:16:53.479 --> 00:16:59.895 that. The leading up to the pregnancy and having the baby is what we kind 00:16:59.928 --> 00:17:05.637 of got to finish at the end when I was big and it was more and more 00:17:05.670 --> 00:17:12.916 exciting when you could find out the sex. And so that's more fun. It's it 00:17:12.949 --> 00:17:17.607 in that type of relationship. The stuff that's like that is more fun when 00:17:17.640 --> 00:17:24.486 you're doing that, 00:17:24.519 --> 00:17:29.075 you know, birth experience of your son. That's pretty much it. That's all 00:17:29.108 --> 00:17:34.666 that happened really is ok. So it's just all these difficulties that have 00:17:34.699 --> 00:17:40.607 led up to those problems. That's why I include them because I had way too 00:17:40.640 --> 00:17:47.266 much stress in my life. So did you um was when he, when you guys were able 00:17:47.299 --> 00:17:50.397 to find out the sex together. Were you both wanting a boy? Were you 00:17:50.430 --> 00:17:55.006 excited about it? I think we did. We wanted, we wanted a boy. We wanted, 00:17:55.039 --> 00:18:02.196 uh I just wanted him to be a role model for somebody. Um And I think our 00:18:02.229 --> 00:18:06.387 son really helped him pull that through because now he does, he works his 00:18:06.420 --> 00:18:11.436 butt off just doing side jobs and side jobs. So we have like, like I said 00:18:11.469 --> 00:18:17.117 , we have like four different businesses. So uh landscaping frybread here. 00:18:17.150 --> 00:18:22.736 Um He has his maintenance job. So literally, it's a lot of work. So, so 00:18:22.769 --> 00:18:26.055 when you look back at this, I mean, it's amazing how long you guys have 00:18:26.088 --> 00:18:30.795 known each other, you've really grown up together when you look back on 00:18:30.828 --> 00:18:35.877 this. What do you think? Like, I mean, do you reflect on that experience? 00:18:35.910 --> 00:18:43.726 I do, I really do. Um I have pictures of him and when we're having hard 00:18:43.759 --> 00:18:47.986 times, I really like to look back at the picture he gave me when we first 00:18:48.019 --> 00:18:53.785 met because it was just like there was nothing wrong. I just missed you 00:18:53.818 --> 00:18:58.926 and it's, it takes you back and it, it kind of makes you really remember 00:18:58.959 --> 00:19:03.746 and miss that time because you're in such a hard time. And so yeah, that 00:19:03.779 --> 00:19:08.377 was, that was one of just the things that pulled me through was reminding 00:19:08.410 --> 00:19:15.936 myself who he was, who he really, really was. So, yeah, and we can be, 00:19:15.969 --> 00:19:19.736 yeah, ok. Actually, do you have any questions? I just had one question. I 00:19:19.769 --> 00:19:25.016 was curious um, earlier you were talking about when you um, first became 00:19:25.049 --> 00:19:30.585 pregnant at 18 and a lot of your initial care was you had to drive, like 00:19:30.618 --> 00:19:33.196 through your tribe, you had to drive to the valley. So, what was that, 00:19:33.229 --> 00:19:36.526 what was that like? Like what was, what did that kind of care entail? Uh 00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:43.535 That really just was um, prenatal uh ultrasounds making sure my health was 00:19:43.568 --> 00:19:51.568 ok. And that's, um, because I did the same routine with my son and uh I 00:19:52.900 --> 00:19:58.956 found out down there when I was five months pregnant that I did almost hit 00:19:58.989 --> 00:20:03.986 where I was, I needed to control what I was eating um, sugar intakes and 00:20:04.019 --> 00:20:09.467 stuff like that. Interesting. So what was your mom's, do you have siblings 00:20:09.500 --> 00:20:14.166 ? What was your like, family history of birth? I mean, did you, did your 00:20:14.199 --> 00:20:18.936 mom also go to Phoenix or how did she make? Um, I'm not really sure how 00:20:18.969 --> 00:20:23.676 she did it. I do know because she grew up in kind of like a foster home 00:20:23.709 --> 00:20:31.709 care system. And I did too for the period of like, till I was maybe two or 00:20:32.858 --> 00:20:38.377 three and I finally got out of there. But um, for me, I didn't consider it 00:20:38.410 --> 00:20:43.585 a foster home. It was just more like my grandparents, you know, and uh 00:20:43.618 --> 00:20:48.127 they took really good care of me and then my mom got her on her own and 00:20:48.160 --> 00:20:56.160 then she had kids later with her, her um husband and um but yeah, she's 00:20:56.318 --> 00:21:03.285 have, she has uh two boys and a girl. So girl, boy, girl boy and that's 00:21:03.318 --> 00:21:09.926 crazy because I had the same thing was girl, boy, girl boy. So it was 00:21:09.959 --> 00:21:14.785 interesting because I really liked paying attention to those um details 00:21:14.818 --> 00:21:19.717 like about kids where they look like or the baby who's, who looks like who 00:21:19.750 --> 00:21:24.446 ? And I always feel like the boys look more like their moms. And then the 00:21:24.479 --> 00:21:30.956 second kid looks more like or the second boy looks more like the dad. So 00:21:30.989 --> 00:21:35.835 it's, it's really cool when you start because I took um children's 00:21:35.868 --> 00:21:40.236 education development or something like that in high school. So they 00:21:40.269 --> 00:21:47.035 talked about this different um pods where the child will end up, how they 00:21:47.068 --> 00:21:51.357 look and stuff like that. So that was a really nice ex like a experiment 00:21:51.390 --> 00:21:58.186 to go through. So, yeah, absolutely. So when you miscarried, were you very 00:21:58.219 --> 00:22:04.295 far along? I was literally maybe weeks along. But it was really 00:22:04.328 --> 00:22:08.555 interesting because on my last one, 00:22:08.588 --> 00:22:16.588 it was more recent. It was before my daughter, before my first one. And um 00:22:19.299 --> 00:22:24.075 I would think I may been 17 00:22:24.108 --> 00:22:26.436 and 00:22:26.469 --> 00:22:28.736 I couldn't, 00:22:28.769 --> 00:22:36.769 it was like, it, I stopped being pregnant. I found out in Winslow and I 00:22:38.130 --> 00:22:44.065 didn't miscarry. It stayed in me until 00:22:44.098 --> 00:22:49.186 a few months later it came out because I was wondering, you know, what, 00:22:49.219 --> 00:22:53.996 how ma how small was it? And that actually is the child I buried up here. 00:22:54.029 --> 00:22:59.746 The one I got to keep because my first two, the first one got taken by 00:22:59.779 --> 00:23:06.656 the abortion people. Um, so I really didn't get no closure with that one. 00:23:06.689 --> 00:23:13.397 The second one. Um, my mother, she was kind of, uh, she was really 00:23:13.430 --> 00:23:21.335 traditional where they would bury the fetus underneath a, a young tree. So 00:23:21.368 --> 00:23:25.785 that's where that one happened. But I like to tell my kids, you know, I 00:23:25.818 --> 00:23:32.946 want you to know that I think of, you know, you guys all being here. Uh So 00:23:32.979 --> 00:23:38.986 that's just how I kind of cope with, with the lost ones. Yeah, you have to 00:23:39.019 --> 00:23:42.936 find some way to cope with it because if you don't, they're like on a, 00:23:42.969 --> 00:23:47.217 you're, they're always on your mind. You're always feeling like you lost 00:23:47.250 --> 00:23:52.166 something and then I'm next, you know, I'm making more kids to, to replace 00:23:52.199 --> 00:23:56.706 them and I don't wanna do that. I'm happy where I am. I understand about 00:23:56.739 --> 00:24:02.377 having kids now and it takes a lot of work. It literally does. And I, I 00:24:02.410 --> 00:24:08.217 wish I really wish I would have waited as special as my kids are. I wish I 00:24:08.250 --> 00:24:14.377 would have waited to give myself a future to educate myself to, to not 00:24:14.410 --> 00:24:20.967 have to take care of my kids while I'm trying to go to school. And, and I 00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:25.147 mean, it was literally hard. It's been it's been still hard because I have 00:24:25.180 --> 00:24:30.696 to go through school and I have to find babysitters. It's just, it's not 00:24:30.729 --> 00:24:36.246 like a college person should be where it's no Children until you get to 00:24:36.279 --> 00:24:40.397 that appropriate age. Now, my daughter, I share everything about my past 00:24:40.430 --> 00:24:45.035 with her. I try not to keep it from her. I try not to tell her that it's 00:24:45.068 --> 00:24:50.256 bad. So she understands that. Waiting and waiting for that right person is 00:24:50.289 --> 00:24:58.055 , is the best thing for her. And that's uh she's old enough to let me tell 00:24:58.088 --> 00:25:04.736 her things and she's really, she's really a good kid. Yeah, I, I teach at 00:25:04.769 --> 00:25:09.196 a su and um I just talked to our dean recently about having a better 00:25:09.229 --> 00:25:14.035 support network for the moms that are going and going to school, you know 00:25:14.068 --> 00:25:18.726 , and how they need to be acknowledged. It's much, it's, it's a whole 00:25:18.759 --> 00:25:23.647 added layer of challenge that the standard student doesn't experience, you 00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:26.446 know, and there's, there's a very limited support network for those people 00:25:26.479 --> 00:25:33.006 , you know. Yeah. So when it's really, the time is really the biggest 00:25:33.039 --> 00:25:38.276 problem I have is time. What I mean, how am I going to be able to work 00:25:38.309 --> 00:25:42.825 this and then go to school? So I literally have to take off work from this 00:25:42.858 --> 00:25:50.858 , stop being paid and then go over there. So it's hard because um well, 00:25:51.809 --> 00:25:58.045 thank you for sharing with us. I know it's not a really pretty story, but 00:25:58.078 --> 00:26:05.647 it's a difficulty pregnancy and I think most of the problems came from all 00:26:05.680 --> 00:26:09.206 that craziness. So, if there's ladies going through craziness and they're 00:26:09.239 --> 00:26:12.897 wondering why is my Children like this? You know, it might have been a 00:26:12.930 --> 00:26:16.516 little bit of that. Yes. Stress has a lot to do with how your body 00:26:16.549 --> 00:26:22.108 functions. Well, it sounds like you're in a really good place now.