WEBVTT 00:00:00.009 --> 00:00:03.506 I came to United States in 1983. 00:00:03.539 --> 00:00:08.597 I was 23. When I came, I was working hard and the flower shop, I love 00:00:08.630 --> 00:00:14.415 flowers. So I didn't even know I missed my period. It's always on time. 00:00:14.448 --> 00:00:19.706 Right? It was two weeks later I realized, oh, no, I missed my uh period. 00:00:19.739 --> 00:00:22.625 What's wrong with me? I'm thinking because I haven't been pregnant all 00:00:22.658 --> 00:00:28.337 these time being with my husband and all of a sudden I start my period, 00:00:28.370 --> 00:00:34.896 but his pain is like really bad and oh, I must have a miscarriage and I 00:00:34.929 --> 00:00:39.296 wanted to be pregnant many, many times. It was just not work. I didn't 00:00:39.329 --> 00:00:42.006 know I didn't even know I have miscarriage, but I did have a couple of 00:00:42.039 --> 00:00:47.527 miscarriage before this tube of pregnancy because I was what, 28 years old 00:00:47.560 --> 00:00:52.487 at the time? A lot of my friends say my stomach was actually really big 00:00:52.520 --> 00:00:56.265 for two months pregnant woman at the time when I was pregnant, I'm 00:00:56.298 --> 00:01:01.487 thinking, oh my God, I didn't think I'm gonna get pregnant ever 00:01:01.520 --> 00:01:06.486 religiously speaking. I asked God, all the women have baby, why can't I 00:01:06.519 --> 00:01:11.647 have baby? I want at least uh prove that I'm not crippled, not can't have 00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:17.956 baby at least show me if I can get pregnant. Some people say be careful 00:01:17.989 --> 00:01:22.397 how you pray. I didn't even know I was to pregnancy and I was getting 00:01:22.430 --> 00:01:29.186 bleeding was showing, you know, my under water and stuff. So I called a 00:01:29.219 --> 00:01:33.676 hospital. They saw all the pregnant woman go through that and with the 00:01:33.709 --> 00:01:39.805 pain, too, very pain. You know, I said, oh my gosh, with all these women 00:01:39.838 --> 00:01:44.156 in the world going through this much pain, I say they deserve a medal. 00:01:44.189 --> 00:01:50.025 Those two weeks was the most painful in my life. I was fainting when I'm 00:01:50.058 --> 00:01:54.156 trying to go to the bathroom, I'm fainting in the hallway. And according 00:01:54.189 --> 00:01:58.676 to my ex husband and my eyes were rolling the back way and uh I was 00:01:58.709 --> 00:02:03.477 getting very dizzy and can't go nowhere. I'm sorry, I'm practically too 00:02:03.510 --> 00:02:08.025 weeks. I'm just staying home and lay down. I am a religious, I believe in 00:02:08.058 --> 00:02:11.606 God. Meantime, I've been praying. I said, what did I do wrong so much? Go 00:02:11.639 --> 00:02:15.987 through this pain. So I've been praying till four in the morning. That's 00:02:16.020 --> 00:02:19.936 what happened. This thing come out of me and there was no more pain. But 00:02:19.969 --> 00:02:24.547 December 27 like I said, something came out of me, I felt like a warm 00:02:24.580 --> 00:02:29.686 stuff coming out. It was about three inch long something why? I don't know 00:02:29.719 --> 00:02:34.946 that there was a part of baby almost look like you know, like fat and some 00:02:34.979 --> 00:02:40.707 red tissue. It's kind of wrap around there. So my wildest guess is, you 00:02:40.740 --> 00:02:46.906 know, when the baby was born. So when they're like 12 weeks, 12 weeks they 00:02:46.939 --> 00:02:51.416 can grow up to, they got like little eyes and then I heard they already 00:02:51.449 --> 00:02:57.835 developed. I'm thinking the baby was all crammed up like this. That oh my 00:02:57.868 --> 00:03:01.927 God, that thing was in my body. It hurt so bad. And ever since that was 00:03:01.960 --> 00:03:06.846 relieve my pain was gone. So I called the doctor. Hey, something came out 00:03:06.879 --> 00:03:11.467 of my body. Ever since then I don't have pain. Those are hospital steps. 00:03:11.500 --> 00:03:14.745 Oh, put them in a little container, put them in the refrigerator, bring it 00:03:14.778 --> 00:03:19.606 with you on your appointment day. We went there at December 31st with that 00:03:19.639 --> 00:03:22.911 thing came out of my body. We went to see the hospital. It's better than 00:03:22.944 --> 00:03:27.571 this lady was doing an ultrasound. You know, see she said I see something 00:03:27.604 --> 00:03:31.952 on the monitor. I don't know what it is. I'm thinking probably that's baby. 00:03:31.985 --> 00:03:35.952 Ok. So one thing already came out of me when the lady was doing an 00:03:35.985 --> 00:03:41.696 ultrasound, whatever with the machine, she found another one. So I don't 00:03:41.729 --> 00:03:46.475 know what they were probably in all on the one side or two. I'm thinking 00:03:46.508 --> 00:03:52.866 the tubes are ovary area. So I'm thinking that was twin, but it's 00:03:52.899 --> 00:03:55.805 something is official the, the way there because she was immediately 00:03:55.838 --> 00:03:59.005 stopped and she went outside they were shriveling outside, you know, 00:03:59.038 --> 00:04:03.767 talking without me. That was on December 31st. So I said all the doctor 00:04:03.800 --> 00:04:07.906 were, my doctor was, I have bad news for you and good news for you. What 00:04:07.939 --> 00:04:11.995 do you want to hear first? I said, ok, what's the bad news? He said we 00:04:12.028 --> 00:04:17.166 have to cut one of the, one of your, uh, ovary 00:04:17.199 --> 00:04:20.567 and you still have another Ovary. That's the good news that you can have a 00:04:20.600 --> 00:04:24.346 baby, but it will be very hard for you to give. Surgery is supposed to 00:04:24.379 --> 00:04:29.967 take about an hour and a half. They say surgery was a 5.5 hours. So very 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:35.976 serious doctors say I was lucky I'm still alive. So I woke up, I don't 00:04:36.009 --> 00:04:41.606 know what all these were going on. My ex-husband told me you were in the 00:04:41.639 --> 00:04:47.265 surgery for a long time because of a neuro uh tubal pregnancy time. I lost 00:04:47.298 --> 00:04:51.325 so many blood. That's what I was fainting. That's why my stomach was 00:04:51.358 --> 00:04:56.627 getting bigger, still holding all those dead blood and I'm still alive. I 00:04:56.660 --> 00:05:02.026 love baby before that happened when I was growing up in Korea, we babysat 00:05:02.059 --> 00:05:06.555 everybody's baby. That's how it is. We don't care whose baby we adore them 00:05:06.588 --> 00:05:13.846 like your own families. Then I can stay, um, 1983. Also, I adore all my 00:05:13.879 --> 00:05:17.796 neighbor. I mean, I was like a Sunday school teacher or something. I will 00:05:17.829 --> 00:05:22.717 carry one in a bag holding in the side. I will go in the wood. That's when 00:05:22.750 --> 00:05:26.906 I was leaving Washington State. When I got married, all my neighbor bring 00:05:26.939 --> 00:05:32.265 the kids. But when I had a two pregnancy after that, when I see them, it's 00:05:32.298 --> 00:05:36.555 like, I don't know that I don't wanna say jealous, but I don't know what 00:05:36.588 --> 00:05:41.676 it is. I don't like to see Children. I don't think they're cute anymore 00:05:41.709 --> 00:05:47.736 and it changed, you know, I was just like bitter, I guess I can tell 00:05:47.769 --> 00:05:51.825 bitter about what happened to me. 00:05:51.858 --> 00:05:57.817 Sometimes I do question him still. Why do I have to go through it? Why am 00:05:57.850 --> 00:06:02.555 I existing this word? You know, everybody, all these women have Children. 00:06:02.588 --> 00:06:06.805 I mean, not all of it. I'm sure there's some woman out there can have baby 00:06:06.838 --> 00:06:14.467 or never even got pregnant. My ex said if we have Children, he and I, we 00:06:14.500 --> 00:06:21.726 would never divorce. So I asked God, hey God, why am I being here? I don't 00:06:21.759 --> 00:06:27.486 have no husband no more. I don't have Children. Why am I here? Good for 00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:32.656 what? For who? But one 00:06:32.689 --> 00:06:37.507 I was on one channel, a Christian channel. I was watching, I am here to 00:06:37.540 --> 00:06:44.377 God's glory, glorify him. That made me, oh, at least I'm good for 00:06:44.410 --> 00:06:50.406 something. You know what I mean? That made me feel so much relief from 00:06:50.439 --> 00:06:56.007 like I'm here for nothing to something. So every sense that that really 00:06:56.040 --> 00:07:02.116 come from me. But once in a while still I said, God, are you enjoying? 00:07:02.149 --> 00:07:08.067 But I do give him that question and what the attitude, but I haven't got 00:07:08.100 --> 00:07:11.250 pregnant ever since.