WEBVTT 00:00:02.730 --> 00:00:04.730 You gotta get a new one of these. Ok. Did it start? Yeah, they're both 00:00:06.769 --> 00:00:10.745 missing. Yeah. Ok. So this is for Ali interviewing Marsha Jones for 00:00:10.778 --> 00:00:18.778 creative push on May 24th at 9 40 29 20. I can't retain information for 00:00:19.039 --> 00:00:22.686 life. I swear when I was in high school, I was studying with a friend who 00:00:22.719 --> 00:00:26.866 was super smart and she was at some point so frustrated she goes forest 00:00:26.899 --> 00:00:33.606 you have the memory of a fly. That's totally true. 00:00:33.639 --> 00:00:40.896 What school will never forget that? Ok. So um ok, so how do you want to 00:00:40.929 --> 00:00:44.807 start? Do you want to start with birth number one or? Yeah, sure. We can, 00:00:44.840 --> 00:00:51.296 we can start. Um So I'm currently the mother of three probably the end of 00:00:51.329 --> 00:00:57.246 our journey in terms of birth um and pregnancy, but uh only the Lord knows 00:00:57.279 --> 00:01:02.646 that what the actual plan is. Um My first daughter was born in 2007. I had 00:01:02.679 --> 00:01:10.679 always wanted a home birth. And so um ended up going through that process 00:01:10.719 --> 00:01:16.587 of interviewing midwives and choosing one and so forth. Getting through 00:01:16.620 --> 00:01:21.816 the process coming down, well, coming down with um but being diagnosed 00:01:21.849 --> 00:01:26.855 gestational diabetic. Um, and that ended up being diet controlled through 00:01:26.888 --> 00:01:32.239 the process. I was, I was in my mid, early, early thirties and so I was 00:01:32.272 --> 00:01:38.718 diet controlled. Unfortunately, the midwife that I had gotten into the 00:01:38.751 --> 00:01:44.608 relationship with, um, as it turns out we found out after the fact she had 00:01:44.641 --> 00:01:52.641 lost a gestational diabetic baby in an, in home birth. And she, um, but 00:01:53.194 --> 00:01:58.572 she didn't, she didn't own that and tell us that. And she said, oh, well, 00:01:58.605 --> 00:02:04.322 just diabetes is really scary and, and, you know, we can be diet 00:02:04.355 --> 00:02:09.202 controlled, but I still think you need to see the specialist in the area 00:02:09.235 --> 00:02:12.522 you need, you need to, you know, and she was presenting it as the best 00:02:12.555 --> 00:02:16.896 possible care that I was receiving. Well. Then I'm from Glendale, Arizona 00:02:16.929 --> 00:02:24.929 59th Avenue and an olive area. The specialist was in Chandler. I'm a 00:02:26.118 --> 00:02:31.745 working adult at this time. And, um, suddenly I was thrown into the 00:02:31.778 --> 00:02:36.025 medical world after like running, screaming from the medical world. I have 00:02:36.058 --> 00:02:42.066 some other, um, previous medical trauma that, that led me to really want 00:02:42.099 --> 00:02:47.886 the home birth and the, the much more serene type, uh, birth experience. 00:02:47.919 --> 00:02:50.745 And so, 00:02:50.778 --> 00:02:57.436 uh, suddenly I was, I was tossed into this medical world where I had to be 00:02:57.469 --> 00:03:04.406 in Chandler for non nonstress tests with, with the belt, um, you know, 00:03:04.439 --> 00:03:08.606 contractions and everything every, you know, twice a week. Um, it was an 00:03:08.639 --> 00:03:14.106 hour long drive, one way from work. And, you know, and so I was taking all 00:03:14.139 --> 00:03:18.566 this extra time off of work, all this additional stress. First time mom, 00:03:18.599 --> 00:03:22.475 no clue what's going on. I don't have a support, a great support structure 00:03:22.508 --> 00:03:27.327 at this point. Um My family is in northern Minnesota. My husband's family 00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:34.755 at that point, we were estranged from and so it was all on my own and, and 00:03:34.788 --> 00:03:42.788 um it was just crazy because we ended up then, um, he did have midwives in 00:03:43.308 --> 00:03:47.957 his office. Um, of course, and, and on top of that, yes, first time I'd 00:03:47.990 --> 00:03:55.096 ever had a man in my life in terms of the womanly stuff. And so I was like 00:03:55.129 --> 00:04:01.186 , you know, just freaked out on so many levels and he of course, wanted to 00:04:01.219 --> 00:04:06.936 induce at 39 weeks. And I was like, no, this is my right. I mean, the last 00:04:06.969 --> 00:04:12.755 vestige of my ability to have power over my birth and I stood out and I 00:04:12.788 --> 00:04:16.455 said, no, this is my birth. Well, then of course, week 40 comes around and 00:04:16.488 --> 00:04:22.305 I'm like, I'm so done. It's September. It's hot. I'm 40 weeks. This baby 00:04:22.338 --> 00:04:28.166 isn't anywhere, you know, acting like she's going to arrive. I, so what 00:04:28.199 --> 00:04:31.274 about that induction? And of course, at this point he's like, oh, well, 00:04:31.307 --> 00:04:34.635 you didn't want it. So now we're just going to ride it out and see when he 00:04:34.668 --> 00:04:41.776 , when, when she arrives. So 41 weeks and again, this is, there was three 00:04:41.809 --> 00:04:46.036 or four weeks beforehand where I was like, there twice a week. And so now 00:04:46.069 --> 00:04:51.096 we're at 41 weeks, 42 weeks. And he's like, well, ok, if she doesn't come 00:04:51.129 --> 00:04:53.926 over the weekend, we're going to have to induce on Monday and you'll be 00:04:53.959 --> 00:04:59.887 officially 43 weeks, she's probably going to be too big. You know, if, if 00:04:59.920 --> 00:05:05.127 she doesn't descend and if it doesn't happen, you could either break her 00:05:05.160 --> 00:05:10.111 shoulders because she's massive. You know, she's way overweight. You're 00:05:10.144 --> 00:05:14.080 gestational diabetic. So she's going to be massive. She's going to be over 00:05:14.113 --> 00:05:20.562 £10 probably 11 £11.5. Um, like I said, the breaking of the shoulders is 00:05:20.595 --> 00:05:24.930 the one thing that I always come back to because it was so traumatic for 00:05:24.963 --> 00:05:29.132 me to go. Oh, and then of course, it's back in the day when everybody's 00:05:29.165 --> 00:05:32.161 like, 00:05:32.194 --> 00:05:37.171 yeah, the bees there. And so is the burp cloth, it just snaps off or you 00:05:37.204 --> 00:05:42.786 got to flip it. Um, anyway, so the, and, and when I talk to people about, 00:05:42.819 --> 00:05:46.336 um, you know, those horror stories that doctors will tell you about 00:05:46.369 --> 00:05:50.067 gestational diabetic, you know, that's the breaking the shoulder dystocia 00:05:50.100 --> 00:05:54.026 was the big thing. And of course, that's back. You know, when the big, all 00:05:54.059 --> 00:05:58.127 of everything started to kind of bubble up about, you can slow it down 00:05:58.160 --> 00:06:02.817 because we really have a lot of time. So it's just like give us, you don't 00:06:02.850 --> 00:06:07.920 have to rush through the first birth or the second birth or any of that. 00:06:08.139 --> 00:06:10.139 It's like fascinating. It's totally fascinating. It, it sounds like a 00:06:11.449 --> 00:06:19.366 really great story. I just Oh yeah. OK. So yeah, so um maybe if you could 00:06:19.399 --> 00:06:24.776 just go back to like you, so you were diagnosed with gestational diabetes 00:06:24.809 --> 00:06:30.036 for your midwife, right? We'd taken the test, um the, the, the, you know, 00:06:30.069 --> 00:06:36.776 drank the sugar test and I had a horrendous sweet tooth with this 00:06:36.809 --> 00:06:44.809 pregnancy anyway. And so I had had a grape cream slush Sonic for breakfast. 00:06:46.079 --> 00:06:51.937 Not even remembering that I had the test because it wasn't like one that 00:06:51.970 --> 00:06:56.377 you have to fast or anything for 00:06:56.410 --> 00:07:02.606 here. It's probably nursing time. I think it might be. Is it, is it, you 00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:07.217 know, extra breakfast? That was one of the great things about the Hobbit 00:07:07.250 --> 00:07:10.007 movie is that you could explain all of the, all of the, you know, it's 00:07:10.040 --> 00:07:14.637 second breakfast. What about, what about 11? 00:07:14.670 --> 00:07:22.670 Ok. Come here. I know they're super, super cool to look at. 00:07:23.428 --> 00:07:30.825 There we go. Um, ok, so, so I had, and then, so I took the test and of 00:07:30.858 --> 00:07:35.305 course you drink it and then they make you wait an hour and then, and then 00:07:35.338 --> 00:07:40.666 they draw your blood and you wait and you draw blood, wait. And I was in 00:07:40.699 --> 00:07:47.637 the um it was a midwife center and at that they was taking the test at and 00:07:47.670 --> 00:07:51.765 so uh I'm a lace maker also. And so I had my lace pillow because I knew I 00:07:51.798 --> 00:07:54.106 was going to have all this time. And so I'm making lace and everybody 00:07:54.139 --> 00:07:57.596 comes over, oh, what are you doing? You know, making lace and what are you 00:07:57.629 --> 00:08:00.836 making lace for while I'm making lace for? Because the intent was I was 00:08:00.869 --> 00:08:07.515 making yardage for to put on her baptismal gown. And so I'm making this 00:08:07.548 --> 00:08:11.967 lace and da da da feeling kind of goofy, you know, because this, the sugar 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:17.296 always kind of makes you weird and, and we get done and a week later the 00:08:17.329 --> 00:08:20.937 results and she's like, oh, you're just a diabetic. And I was like, but I 00:08:20.970 --> 00:08:24.156 thought I heard there was another test and this is what happened and she's 00:08:24.189 --> 00:08:32.189 like, um, and, and I, there's some, oh, I ended up, um at, um, 00:08:33.889 --> 00:08:35.996 um, 00:08:36.029 --> 00:08:40.145 so then she transferred care to the second doctor, to the, to the 00:08:40.178 --> 00:08:44.427 specialist and so on and so forth. At which point I raised the question. I 00:08:44.460 --> 00:08:49.566 heard there was a second test and he dismissively said, oh, you tested so 00:08:49.599 --> 00:08:53.385 high. There's no reason that we would ever. And I said, but I drank this 00:08:53.418 --> 00:08:56.956 other thing that's really high in sugar. Oh, well, that doesn't have any 00:08:56.989 --> 00:09:01.967 bearing. And I was like, really that didn't. But I was like, OK, I guess 00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:07.427 I'm already, I'm stuck here. And so, like I was saying every, every week 00:09:07.460 --> 00:09:12.096 it was twice a week I had to be in for the, for the nonstress tests. 00:09:12.129 --> 00:09:15.807 Didn't have to go to the hospital because he had the, to do it in his 00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:21.596 office. Thankfully, he also had, um, mobile, um, ultrasound units in his 00:09:21.629 --> 00:09:27.076 office. So, um, because I was a late transfer and so on and so forth and I 00:09:27.109 --> 00:09:31.366 had already wanted a midwife. I did get to work with his midwife a little 00:09:31.399 --> 00:09:34.037 bit, but ultimately, he was the doctor that was supposed to do the 00:09:34.070 --> 00:09:38.346 delivery. So, what was the impact of the gestational diabetes? Did you 00:09:38.379 --> 00:09:43.907 gain like an exorbitant amount of weight or did your baby? Like, um, so 00:09:43.940 --> 00:09:49.606 what they say is that if you're gestational diabetic, the baby will be 00:09:49.639 --> 00:09:56.326 large, um, for, you know, delivery like overly large and that's a concern 00:09:56.359 --> 00:10:00.467 because then they may or may not fit down the birth canal. It does 00:10:00.500 --> 00:10:05.385 increase your chances of having ac section. And, and like I said, the, the 00:10:05.418 --> 00:10:08.775 sho shoulder dystocia is what they call it. It's, you, you're either 00:10:08.808 --> 00:10:12.586 breaking their collar bone or they, you know, end up twisting their 00:10:12.619 --> 00:10:16.936 shoulders or, you know, that sorts of different things. Um And so of 00:10:16.969 --> 00:10:23.307 course, all that was presented and, and, and, um, I was, uh, had gone 00:10:23.340 --> 00:10:29.557 through the, the time of, no, I don't wanna do an induction. Yes, I do 00:10:29.590 --> 00:10:33.946 wanna do an induction. No, you're not gonna get one. And, and so we were 00:10:33.979 --> 00:10:41.979 at that weekend that was in between 42 and 43. Or maybe it was. Yeah. Some. 00:10:43.279 --> 00:10:46.346 Yeah. And, 00:10:46.379 --> 00:10:48.686 you know, it didn't seem that there was anything happening. Of course, I'm 00:10:48.719 --> 00:10:52.635 stressed out beyond belief and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be 00:10:52.668 --> 00:10:56.265 doing and, and what, and what's supposed to be coming. And I'm, I'm just 00:10:56.298 --> 00:10:59.456 freaked out about the whole thing and I don't want to have, you know, I 00:10:59.489 --> 00:11:03.936 don't want to have internal monitoring because I didn't want to have 00:11:03.969 --> 00:11:09.217 anybody stick wires up inside of me and attach them to my child's head. Um 00:11:09.250 --> 00:11:15.177 All these different things that I was, um, just freaked out by all the 00:11:15.210 --> 00:11:18.596 medical stuff. I can tell. You'll tell throughout this whole thing that I 00:11:18.629 --> 00:11:23.025 don't, I'm not a fan of, of medical birth. Um, it's, it has its time in 00:11:23.058 --> 00:11:31.058 place but not for me if at all possible. Um The so 00:11:31.629 --> 00:11:35.875 back to, I wanted, I had originally wanted a home birth and I didn't know 00:11:35.908 --> 00:11:40.496 if my body was going to be able to do it because it was late, um, in, in 00:11:40.529 --> 00:11:48.529 my, um, age just based on life and so forth. Um, uh, 00:11:52.168 --> 00:11:56.706 we made the decision on, 00:11:56.739 --> 00:12:02.557 I would have to go back and look now, I think, yeah, Saturday around 00:12:02.590 --> 00:12:10.590 lunchtime I made a, uh, castor oil and ice cream concoction 00:12:11.500 --> 00:12:19.500 and drank that down and it took us four or six hours to watch a single 00:12:20.509 --> 00:12:23.515 movie because we're like, ok, we're just gonna bend down, watch a movie, 00:12:23.548 --> 00:12:27.625 hang out. Of course, I'm in the bathroom, like every, you know, because 00:12:27.658 --> 00:12:31.106 that's what it's supposed to do. It, it cleans out your system and all 00:12:31.139 --> 00:12:38.645 that irritation then gets your uterus to start doing its thing. Um, the, 00:12:38.678 --> 00:12:43.946 when I had been in the office last, uh, the midwife had stripped my 00:12:43.979 --> 00:12:46.816 membranes. I had a little bit of bleeding at that point. I thought, well, 00:12:46.849 --> 00:12:49.895 maybe this is gonna get it started and it really didn't seem to get it 00:12:49.928 --> 00:12:56.586 started. Um, turns out that, that, that, that stripping probably broke my 00:12:56.619 --> 00:13:03.946 water. But she was so far down that she was a cork. And so I had no like, 00:13:03.979 --> 00:13:08.297 you know, grand gush or any of that or that, you know, water breaking that 00:13:08.330 --> 00:13:12.375 they show on television. Um, 00:13:12.408 --> 00:13:20.167 and so, uh, but my body wasn't doing the opening. Um, she was descending, 00:13:20.200 --> 00:13:25.826 she was ready to come, but my body wasn't opening up, it wasn't 00:13:25.859 --> 00:13:32.875 progressing. And so even though the contractions started, um, I still 00:13:32.908 --> 00:13:37.395 didn't seem to be progressing. I did call the midwife because part of what 00:13:37.428 --> 00:13:41.866 the transfer was about, she was going to still hang with me act as my 00:13:41.899 --> 00:13:47.547 doula. She had a student and so the student was going to hang out and, and 00:13:47.580 --> 00:13:50.927 help out and so forth. 00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:58.960 So we, we, uh, she called her and so, and so around, um, midnight or so, 00:14:00.509 --> 00:14:07.275 maybe two o'clock in the morning. She came to the house and hung out for a 00:14:07.308 --> 00:14:13.967 while. My ha, my, my husband Eric, um, went to get some sleep. I was kind 00:14:14.000 --> 00:14:17.927 of in and out of it. Um, becoming exhausted at this point just because it 00:14:17.960 --> 00:14:21.297 had been such a long and it was so, you know, I was like, I was like up to 00:14:21.330 --> 00:14:25.496 the bathroom and all those different things, um, finally went to the 00:14:25.529 --> 00:14:29.625 hospital. I think it was early morning because I remember, remember it was 00:14:29.658 --> 00:14:35.307 , it was dark but that's a long drive when you're in contractions 00:14:35.340 --> 00:14:40.395 being on the road is hard anyway. But it was such a long drive and I knew 00:14:40.428 --> 00:14:48.428 , I swear every bump and nook and cranny um on the 10 and on the 60. Um 00:14:50.830 --> 00:14:56.645 and, and it was, it was just, it was a hard drive and the hospital, um it 00:14:56.678 --> 00:15:01.226 was uh Chandler regional and there are more medical hospital, there are 00:15:01.259 --> 00:15:05.755 less medical hospitals for birth in the valley. Um But that's where he had 00:15:05.788 --> 00:15:12.096 , uh that was the closest to me where he had uh delivery privileges and, 00:15:12.129 --> 00:15:16.167 and turns out one of the reasons why we ended up making the decision to 00:15:16.200 --> 00:15:19.755 try and get things started was that he was going on vacation for the 00:15:19.788 --> 00:15:26.385 weekend. So it was a, you know, uh a planned 00:15:26.418 --> 00:15:33.986 and uh ultimately, uh so we get there things aren't progressing. I'm 00:15:34.019 --> 00:15:38.427 seeing his midwife because all of the other on-call docs are busy with 00:15:38.460 --> 00:15:42.236 other higher risk pregnancies, which was kind of crazy because they had 00:15:42.269 --> 00:15:46.446 built me up saying that I was this grand high risk pregnancy with the, 00:15:46.479 --> 00:15:50.895 with the distant di diabetes. And so all the other on-call docs were, were 00:15:50.928 --> 00:15:54.875 involved with other higher risk pregnancies. I was like, how much higher 00:15:54.908 --> 00:16:01.927 risk do you get in person? Uneducated? Um, uh, and, and so had the midwife 00:16:01.960 --> 00:16:07.375 there. Um, my husband was there, unfortunately, uh, at this point, we were 00:16:07.408 --> 00:16:12.407 finding out that he had a, a mild to severe allergic reaction to something. 00:16:12.440 --> 00:16:16.981 And so he's like all puffy, he had taken some Benadryl. So he's all kind 00:16:17.014 --> 00:16:23.880 of loopy, not really able to be my support or my advocate. And I did have 00:16:23.913 --> 00:16:28.561 one girlfriend who had come down and was also going to help be an advocate 00:16:28.594 --> 00:16:34.621 and so forth, especially once we realized what was going on with him. And 00:16:34.654 --> 00:16:38.111 so she was there and like I said, the midwife and then so the midwife and 00:16:38.144 --> 00:16:42.922 the student switched back and forth and to kind of give each other some, 00:16:42.955 --> 00:16:46.746 you can go ahead and do that and pause talking. 00:16:46.779 --> 00:16:50.255 I didn't even think about it. 00:16:50.288 --> 00:16:54.125 Someone sees himself in the mirror. 00:16:54.158 --> 00:17:00.635 He has milk all over the face. Oh, he's so distracted. He's like, oh, 00:17:00.668 --> 00:17:04.555 there's other things to look at. I'm hungry, but I'm not really, I forgot 00:17:04.588 --> 00:17:08.805 to mention this too. Try to mention um like sensitive medical information 00:17:08.838 --> 00:17:13.206 , like names so definitely don't give us the doctor's name or my wife's 00:17:13.239 --> 00:17:18.009 names and stuff like that. Mentioning the hospital is fine, but I wouldn't. 00:17:21.218 --> 00:17:23.218 Yeah. All right. If you wanna hand me that, um, the, the burp cloth, yeah 00:17:27.178 --> 00:17:34.496 , he's liable to, you have a thing about spitting up, don't you? All right. 00:17:34.529 --> 00:17:37.456 Um, 00:17:37.489 --> 00:17:44.467 so I was being working with his, um, midwife and she knew my midwife and 00:17:44.500 --> 00:17:47.416 so they were working together a little bit, but my midwife was really 00:17:47.449 --> 00:17:50.906 taking a backseat and not really giving me a lot of support the way I had 00:17:50.939 --> 00:17:58.939 kind of expected going along and had, um, they decided that, that I wasn't 00:18:01.539 --> 00:18:06.897 progressing. I was stuck at four and I was stuck at four for four, 00:18:06.930 --> 00:18:10.147 probably three or four hours. And so they're like, ok, well, we're gonna 00:18:10.180 --> 00:18:15.555 put a little bit of it. It's the pre PTO, it's the one that you do before 00:18:15.588 --> 00:18:20.476 Pitocin that they put on the cervix. We're gonna do this. And, um, and I'm 00:18:20.509 --> 00:18:24.795 like, ok, you know, and, and that's was there for, I think, I wanna say 00:18:24.828 --> 00:18:28.357 maybe two hours, something along those lines and it still wasn't 00:18:28.390 --> 00:18:32.656 progressing. And of course, at this point, um, because I had also tested 00:18:32.689 --> 00:18:37.347 positive for the, uh strep, they had already put an IV in me and I was 00:18:37.380 --> 00:18:40.986 getting antibiotics. So they're like, since you've already got it, we're 00:18:41.019 --> 00:18:47.676 gonna go ahead and give you Pitocin in the, in the IV 00:18:47.709 --> 00:18:55.597 at this point. I have no pain control other than myself and nobody was 00:18:55.630 --> 00:18:59.795 thinking about it because of course we're all tied up in our own stuff. 00:18:59.828 --> 00:19:06.597 I'm in labor. He's in la la land midwife has taken a back seat. Um, the 00:19:06.630 --> 00:19:09.887 midwife who's attending me is doing her thing and she doesn't think 00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:14.795 anything of it. She's just doing her job and my girlfriend, um, wasn't 00:19:14.828 --> 00:19:17.825 really paying attention either and all of a sudden instead of these gentle 00:19:17.858 --> 00:19:21.467 , like, ramp ups where you're, like, breathing through it and stuff. It 00:19:21.500 --> 00:19:25.436 was like, oh, my mother Mary, 00:19:25.469 --> 00:19:31.887 uh, 00:19:31.920 --> 00:19:37.486 um, and what is going on? How come it all of a sudden got so painful, it 00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:40.555 just doesn't make any sense. This isn't right da da da. So, finally 00:19:40.588 --> 00:19:44.666 somebody goes, oh, you're getting Pitocin, some nurse, some random nurse 00:19:44.699 --> 00:19:47.835 who's coming through and I'm like, why I don't understand. And she's like 00:19:47.868 --> 00:19:55.868 , well, you're getting Pitocin, of course it's going to get painful. 00:19:59.390 --> 00:20:03.276 Yeah, I had Pitocin. I know exactly what you mean. So, I was like, I'm, 00:20:03.309 --> 00:20:08.127 this is it, I'm done. Get me the epidural. So, finally, then they're like 00:20:08.160 --> 00:20:13.516 , ok, ok, we'll get an, so they got it and I got an epidural. He was, you 00:20:13.549 --> 00:20:17.276 know, you always have these, these, um, stories in, in my circle of 00:20:17.309 --> 00:20:22.926 friends. We always talk about the, um, really attractive male 00:20:22.959 --> 00:20:27.026 anesthesiologist and I got one 00:20:27.059 --> 00:20:30.936 unfortunately because, you know, I'm in labor and sweating and my hair is 00:20:30.969 --> 00:20:38.969 wrecked and, you know, you anyway. And, uh, so he put the, the epidural in 00:20:40.920 --> 00:20:46.706 and of course it worked and then it was finally, like my body went. Oh, ok. 00:20:46.739 --> 00:20:50.617 But unfortunately it was still another six hours 00:20:50.650 --> 00:20:57.555 that, um, I was in labor per se for her to get it to open up to let him 00:20:57.588 --> 00:21:01.976 shoot. So then she came, um, I went through, I found out all kinds of 00:21:02.009 --> 00:21:07.627 horrible things about my body. Like I still, even after all of that in the 00:21:07.660 --> 00:21:12.847 bathroom, I still had things to get rid of. Um, I vomit during, during 00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:20.347 last stages of labor. And so I was like, oh, that's pleasant. And um, but 00:21:20.380 --> 00:21:24.026 I didn't go through that. Oh, I hate you, you know, and all that yelling 00:21:24.059 --> 00:21:27.026 probably because he was off in LA LA world and I didn't even know he 00:21:27.059 --> 00:21:32.035 existed most of the time. But uh, so I was kind of proud of myself for 00:21:32.068 --> 00:21:35.315 that. At least I didn't go through like the, the, oh, you know, the really 00:21:35.348 --> 00:21:43.295 mean nasty stuff. And um, of course, then finally we get to delivery and 00:21:43.328 --> 00:21:48.656 it's the traditional on your back legs up. He had a leg, my girlfriend had 00:21:48.689 --> 00:21:54.976 a leg, the midwife for the doctor was there and at this point, the 00:21:55.009 --> 00:22:00.217 original midwife was gone or she was still in the background, but then the 00:22:00.250 --> 00:22:05.746 student was there and she was in a position where she was in that last 00:22:05.779 --> 00:22:10.196 training period where she just had to catch babies. And, um, the midwife 00:22:10.229 --> 00:22:18.229 for the doctor looked over and said, did you, do you want to catch? And so 00:22:19.068 --> 00:22:25.696 the student midwife was able to catch, uh, my first daughter, which was 00:22:25.729 --> 00:22:30.295 like the last little victory. I was like, yay. At least I got to help her 00:22:30.328 --> 00:22:38.328 out in her journey. And, um, uh, and then, you know, so, uh we did get 00:22:38.719 --> 00:22:45.467 skin to skin contact. Um I can't remember. I think my husband was, was 00:22:45.500 --> 00:22:51.736 with it enough to cut the cord. I'd have to ask him. I can't remember. 00:22:51.769 --> 00:22:56.406 So, were you, was it like, well, push, push? But, you know, that kind of a 00:22:56.439 --> 00:22:58.986 situation, 00:22:59.019 --> 00:23:05.176 they kind of had to tell me when to, when to push because I had no idea. 00:23:05.209 --> 00:23:11.406 Um, the epidural wasn't like a lot of women get it. Um, the perfect time 00:23:11.439 --> 00:23:14.446 to get the epidural is, is with enough time for it to start wearing off 00:23:14.479 --> 00:23:17.555 when the delivery is happening. So that then they can actually feel more 00:23:17.588 --> 00:23:21.607 of those body cues, but I didn't know what I was supposed to be feeling 00:23:21.640 --> 00:23:24.887 anyway. And so when they said, well, you're contracting when we were back 00:23:24.920 --> 00:23:28.347 in the hos in the, in the office and they were doing those, those stress 00:23:28.380 --> 00:23:31.357 tests, they're like, oh, yeah, you're having contractions. And I was like 00:23:31.390 --> 00:23:37.357 , I don't feel anything. Um And so I didn't really know what I was 00:23:37.390 --> 00:23:41.045 supposed to be feeling anyway. And so they, I kind of let them tell me 00:23:41.078 --> 00:23:45.026 when I was supposed to, to push and, and whatnot. I did find, I did feel 00:23:45.059 --> 00:23:49.857 that last one where it was like, oh, you've got a poop and, and, um, that 00:23:49.890 --> 00:23:54.956 was like the one contraction that I did feel, um, the urge to push. The, 00:23:54.989 --> 00:24:01.706 the real, um, that one I did feel and, and uh, she was, she was perfect. 00:24:01.739 --> 00:24:08.906 Um, £8.05 ounces, all fingers and toes. Um, nursed, we had a little bit of 00:24:08.939 --> 00:24:13.686 trouble getting started, but she did really well because she was under £9 00:24:13.719 --> 00:24:19.127 . I didn't realize that £9 until my second daughter went. That, that £9 00:24:19.160 --> 00:24:24.166 was the, um, is like the trigger for most protocols when it comes to 00:24:24.199 --> 00:24:30.127 diabetes. But she was under that. So they did one more, one more finger 00:24:30.160 --> 00:24:34.805 stick like later in the day for me. And then that was, that was the end of 00:24:34.838 --> 00:24:42.838 it. No more discussion of diabetes. And, um, we, um, 00:24:43.000 --> 00:24:48.156 there you go and even eventually, um, finally got moved out of labor and 00:24:48.189 --> 00:24:55.266 delivery, um, into a room. And of course, then I got like all kinds of, um 00:24:55.299 --> 00:25:00.887 , claustrophobic and didn't want to be in the hospital anymore. And the 00:25:00.920 --> 00:25:04.545 doctor came in and, and released me. He's like, oh, you had to have the 00:25:04.578 --> 00:25:09.406 baby when I was on vacation. And I said, yeah, I looked square in the eye. 00:25:09.439 --> 00:25:13.486 And I said, yeah, and he said what was going on? I said she wanted to 00:25:13.519 --> 00:25:15.906 come 00:25:15.939 --> 00:25:23.939 and, um, uh, the, but then, um, they were the concern about her a little 00:25:25.400 --> 00:25:31.196 bit. And so there was this whole rigmarole, um, both before and after her 00:25:31.229 --> 00:25:35.607 birth about CPS being involved because I was one of those freaky moms who 00:25:35.640 --> 00:25:39.387 was like, oh, I'm so uneducated and I don't know what I'm doing and, and 00:25:39.420 --> 00:25:44.926 if I, if I um, uh, do something wrong, they're going to take the baby. 00:25:44.959 --> 00:25:49.416 Well, then of course the hospital pulls it and says, if you try and, you 00:25:49.449 --> 00:25:55.295 know, you can, you can try to leave without the doctor's consent for the 00:25:55.328 --> 00:25:59.617 baby, but we'll call CPS and they'll meet you at the door and take the 00:25:59.650 --> 00:26:02.696 baby from you because you didn't have the doctor's permission to leave the 00:26:02.729 --> 00:26:09.166 hospital. And so at that point, we were, you know, I'm losing it. Um, you 00:26:09.199 --> 00:26:14.217 know, she's trying to nurse, I'm crying. My husband calls his friend who 00:26:14.250 --> 00:26:18.335 is actually now one of his best friends, but he was part of CPS at the 00:26:18.368 --> 00:26:22.641 time and he told him the story and he said there we are dealing with so 00:26:22.674 --> 00:26:28.361 many more important and life threatening situations that nobody is going 00:26:28.394 --> 00:26:32.722 to show there are no CPS, police that are going to roll up and up at the 00:26:32.755 --> 00:26:37.190 hospital and take your baby because you left, you checked yourself out you 00:26:37.223 --> 00:26:40.756 left without the doctor's permission. And so that made us feel better and 00:26:40.789 --> 00:26:47.276 , and we ended up, um, we stayed overnight two nights, um, because, 00:26:47.309 --> 00:26:51.075 because I had, had the baby late enough and then we had to go through, um 00:26:51.108 --> 00:26:56.196 , all of the stuff and we left the next morning when they finally got 00:26:56.229 --> 00:26:59.347 around to releasing us, you know, usually with hospitals, it's crazy. They 00:26:59.380 --> 00:27:05.357 , they want you out, but then it takes them forever. And so I think we 00:27:05.390 --> 00:27:10.486 were finally on our way home, you know, midday, um, ended up stopping at 00:27:10.519 --> 00:27:15.097 some friend's house and taking some pictures and, um, what not on the way 00:27:15.130 --> 00:27:21.276 home and, and then had our, our time at home. Um, I did, uh, end up going 00:27:21.309 --> 00:27:25.315 through, of course, all the rigmarole of going back to work and, and, and 00:27:25.348 --> 00:27:32.867 all of that too. But she was, she was an interesting first kid and, um, 00:27:32.900 --> 00:27:35.877 taught me a lot 00:27:35.910 --> 00:27:39.906 when you reflect back on that experience. Uh, you know, what are your 00:27:39.939 --> 00:27:43.706 thoughts and how did it set you up for what you wanted the next go around 00:27:43.739 --> 00:27:49.325 or what your expectations were. Um, I was afraid that, you know, I was 00:27:49.358 --> 00:27:52.256 always gonna be stuck in the hospital because my body would have no idea 00:27:52.289 --> 00:27:57.166 what to do that, that I wouldn't be able to relax that it was all my fault 00:27:57.199 --> 00:28:01.387 that we had such a hard delivery because I wasn't, you know, that was the 00:28:01.420 --> 00:28:04.637 thing that everybody was like, oh, you need to relax. Like, how can I 00:28:04.670 --> 00:28:10.295 relax? All this stuff is being thrown at me and it's all horrible. Um, and 00:28:10.328 --> 00:28:17.825 so I did not, uh, I, it, I felt like, yes, we had a great outcome, but the 00:28:17.858 --> 00:28:21.637 reason that it was a bad out outcome was really my own self fulfilling 00:28:21.670 --> 00:28:26.516 prophecy. So I dealt with a lot of that. Um, I, of course, wanted to have 00:28:26.549 --> 00:28:29.686 absolutely nothing to do with doctors. I wanted to find, I started 00:28:29.719 --> 00:28:35.617 researching immediately what was the most anti medical hospital um in the 00:28:35.650 --> 00:28:42.315 valley. Um What uh you know, because I mean, there are hospitals where 00:28:42.348 --> 00:28:48.575 it's great to go for XYZ and they're the best for that. Um But in terms of 00:28:48.608 --> 00:28:52.426 if you have a normal pregnancy and you want a natural birth, you know, 00:28:52.459 --> 00:28:57.026 there are definitely some better places to go than, than others, you gotta 00:28:57.059 --> 00:29:01.676 change the diaper. Do we had to pass this together? 00:29:01.709 --> 00:29:05.617 I forgot. Well, so we were kind of just summarizing your first birth 00:29:05.650 --> 00:29:07.756 experience. 00:29:07.789 --> 00:29:14.367 And I, so in terms of like overall, um I didn't know it, but of course, 00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:21.315 then I had late onset postpartum depression um and late onset like nine 00:29:21.348 --> 00:29:26.206 months in because all of that stuff was still going on like you're, you 00:29:26.239 --> 00:29:29.406 know, and, and, and there were other things that happened like total 00:29:29.439 --> 00:29:35.367 uneducated, no support structure. First time mom stuff. Um we ended up 00:29:35.400 --> 00:29:39.776 being in Phoenix, children's within her first two weeks because I was 00:29:39.809 --> 00:29:43.956 afraid of what somebody else said. Oh, that's an epileptic seizure. You 00:29:43.989 --> 00:29:47.857 need to be in the hospital, blah, blah, blah. Turns out it was just the 00:29:47.890 --> 00:29:53.967 one thing that babies do. They roll their eyes when they're sleeping. 00:29:54.000 --> 00:29:57.696 But uh at that point, we had, they had done the, you know, the little head 00:29:57.729 --> 00:30:02.367 cap, I think, eeg or something where they, you know, they and she looks 00:30:02.400 --> 00:30:07.706 super adorable. I have no pictures of it. Um But uh the doctor came back 00:30:07.739 --> 00:30:11.397 after reading and he's like she's fine. She's really fine kind of with 00:30:11.430 --> 00:30:15.686 that twinkle in his eyes, which I like to feel that he means that she's 00:30:15.719 --> 00:30:20.325 really, really smart and she is, she is really, she's top of her class and 00:30:20.358 --> 00:30:28.016 , and doing really well. So, but um yeah, she did really um prepare me for 00:30:28.049 --> 00:30:31.246 trying to 00:30:31.279 --> 00:30:39.279 be even more educated, more in control, um, more prepared. Um and, and to 00:30:40.910 --> 00:30:46.996 try to trust um mother nature in my body without getting my head into it 00:30:47.029 --> 00:30:53.236 too much. So, so then we nursed for 00:30:53.269 --> 00:30:58.305 probably somewhere between, I think we made it to a year, maybe probably 00:30:58.338 --> 00:31:02.486 over a year when you just talk about bedtime nursing. Um I did pump 00:31:02.519 --> 00:31:06.857 through that time period. Um I searched for an in home care provider who 00:31:06.890 --> 00:31:11.815 would work with me on cloth diapers. Um did find somebody who was sort of 00:31:11.848 --> 00:31:15.976 working on the cloth diapers with us. Um, the reason that nursing is 00:31:16.009 --> 00:31:19.467 important is because it was, uh, I'm one of those special ones that 00:31:19.500 --> 00:31:25.196 doesn't cycle when she nurses. And, um, so I didn't, I, not only did I not 00:31:25.229 --> 00:31:29.416 have a, uh, period throughout my pregnancy, but I also didn't have a 00:31:29.449 --> 00:31:35.107 period for, until we stopped nursing. Oh, 00:31:35.140 --> 00:31:42.887 monthly cycle and something with the breast milk. Um, and so I actually 00:31:42.920 --> 00:31:47.906 did have one cycle finally when we stopped nursing and on the next cycle, 00:31:47.939 --> 00:31:55.939 I was pregnant. And so, um it the, the ultimately they ended up being 00:31:56.000 --> 00:32:01.176 about 2.5 years apart, which has been great, but um we were right away 00:32:01.209 --> 00:32:06.756 into the next pregnancy. Um Of course, I've had some job changes since 00:32:06.789 --> 00:32:12.226 this time. I'm with a new company, um kind of a stressful boss going 00:32:12.259 --> 00:32:15.535 through and, and ended up doing some traveling um to Florida during the 00:32:15.568 --> 00:32:18.607 pregnancy, which was interesting because I didn't, hadn't ever, ever 00:32:18.640 --> 00:32:26.640 experienced that before. Um ended up uh trying new hiding the pregnancy 00:32:27.000 --> 00:32:29.785 for a period of time because my boss was one of those really terrible 00:32:29.818 --> 00:32:35.085 militant woman bosses. And um 00:32:35.118 --> 00:32:41.545 so I didn't, again, didn't really get to invest in the pregnancy the way 00:32:41.578 --> 00:32:45.976 that a lot of women say, you know, flowers and butterflies and, you know, 00:32:46.009 --> 00:32:49.575 become one with the baby during the pregnancy and really feel when they're 00:32:49.608 --> 00:32:57.608 moving and so forth. All right. 00:32:58.410 --> 00:33:05.186 Um We did do movement counts with both pregnancies, both the girls. Um, so 00:33:05.219 --> 00:33:08.847 there's, you know, there's, I did get kind of to be one with the pregnancy 00:33:08.880 --> 00:33:13.406 in that regard in the evenings I would count, um, her movements and so 00:33:13.439 --> 00:33:21.439 forth. Um, I was in better shape. I knew that I needed to lose weight. Um 00:33:22.568 --> 00:33:30.506 , hm. Oh, Lord, 00:33:30.539 --> 00:33:36.825 I needed to lose weight and become, um, a stronger, like, physically, 00:33:36.858 --> 00:33:40.805 stronger individual if I wanted to have an unmedicated birth. And at this 00:33:40.838 --> 00:33:44.565 point, I was making the concession that I wouldn't ever get a home birth, 00:33:44.598 --> 00:33:51.467 but I could, I was going to get an unmedicated birth. And I, so I knew 00:33:51.500 --> 00:33:57.825 that I needed to, to lose some weight and uh be a stronger individual. 00:33:57.858 --> 00:34:03.666 Have more, you know, abdominal strength and just, um everything. And so 00:34:03.699 --> 00:34:11.635 between the two girls, I was on a workout plan and uh a better diet plan 00:34:11.668 --> 00:34:15.497 and did end up losing weight. Turns out that being pregnant was also a 00:34:15.530 --> 00:34:20.896 really good weight loss plan for me in general. Uh I came out of the first 00:34:20.929 --> 00:34:26.916 birth, having lost more weight than I gained and then continued to lose 00:34:26.949 --> 00:34:32.146 weight through nursing and working out. And, and so the pictures from pre 00:34:32.179 --> 00:34:36.416 baby one to pre baby two are pretty interesting. My facial structure went 00:34:36.449 --> 00:34:44.135 from round to o and um, so by the time she arrived, I weighed less, but my 00:34:44.168 --> 00:34:47.135 belly was bigger and of course, everybody's like that's totally normal 00:34:47.168 --> 00:34:53.006 because she's a second. Da da da. I also, I chose a midwife who was, who 00:34:53.039 --> 00:34:58.956 had hospital privileges. She was under a doctor. And so throughout the 00:34:58.989 --> 00:35:06.086 whole pregnancy with her, um, that practice also had the, um Zounds units 00:35:06.119 --> 00:35:11.267 in the office. So I got an ultrasound every visit and they had the 3D 00:35:11.300 --> 00:35:15.836 technology. So I got like all these little 3D pictures, like every visit. 00:35:15.869 --> 00:35:20.586 And, uh, she, she said, you know, that all these tests along the way are 00:35:20.619 --> 00:35:24.845 completely optional. And I went really is the gestational diabetic test 00:35:24.878 --> 00:35:30.916 optional. And she's like, yep, and was totally ok with me not taking the 00:35:30.949 --> 00:35:37.155 test now as it turns out with the third, um, looking back, I was probably 00:35:37.188 --> 00:35:43.356 GD with my second birth as well. Um, but I didn't go that way and I think 00:35:43.389 --> 00:35:49.296 what saved both me and her was that I had lost all that weight and I, and 00:35:49.329 --> 00:35:55.135 I was eating better. I wasn't eating like, totally, um, 00:35:55.168 --> 00:35:59.717 to the GD diet, but I was definitely eating better than, you know what I 00:35:59.750 --> 00:36:04.247 had been during my first pregnancy just overall. The who my whole 00:36:04.280 --> 00:36:12.280 lifestyle had gotten better and she turned out to be a big girl. Um, and I 00:36:14.648 --> 00:36:18.316 was big. 00:36:18.349 --> 00:36:22.385 We, uh, 00:36:22.418 --> 00:36:29.675 had, I had had, uh, she was, her due date was, uh, January 3rd and on, I 00:36:29.708 --> 00:36:35.267 remember it because on Halloween the year bef, you know, uh, I, we were 00:36:35.300 --> 00:36:39.816 walking around with the little one. And I'm like, hey, these are 00:36:39.849 --> 00:36:43.086 interesting contractions and it was, it was interesting because I could 00:36:43.119 --> 00:36:47.006 feel them. I knew I recognized them and so I called them in. All right, 00:36:47.039 --> 00:36:50.827 talked to the midwife about it because of course, it wasn't the normal 00:36:50.860 --> 00:36:54.945 midwife relationship where you just call them whenever she was still part 00:36:54.978 --> 00:36:57.876 of that practice, that doctor relationship. So I had to wait until the 00:36:57.909 --> 00:37:01.316 next day and so forth. Um, and she's like, oh, well, that's probably just 00:37:01.349 --> 00:37:05.396 practice contractions. No big deal, you know. Um, unless you have, like, 00:37:05.429 --> 00:37:08.827 bloody show or something, you know, where she's coming like, early. Um, 00:37:08.860 --> 00:37:11.595 you're good. And so we kind of went through that and then, you know, of 00:37:11.628 --> 00:37:14.155 course, when we go in for the monthly visit, she's like, oh, yeah, you're 00:37:14.188 --> 00:37:17.236 having contractions. And I'm like, so I had like, these little practice 00:37:17.269 --> 00:37:23.086 contractions all the way from, you know, from, from Halloween to New 00:37:23.119 --> 00:37:28.467 Year's and they would get, you know, around Christmas, they started 00:37:28.500 --> 00:37:31.106 getting a little bit stronger but they still weren't anything that I 00:37:31.139 --> 00:37:39.139 couldn't totally just live with. Um, and, um, the 00:37:40.610 --> 00:37:45.655 Christmas came. I was ok. We're good, you know, I'm getting bigger. Uh, 00:37:45.688 --> 00:37:49.695 New Year's. We, we put the little one in bed, we were sitting there on New 00:37:49.728 --> 00:37:52.577 Year's. I'm like, oh, wouldn't it be hilarious if we got to have the New 00:37:52.610 --> 00:37:56.856 Year's baby, you know, and so forth. Um, at this point, we, we have, we 00:37:56.889 --> 00:38:02.456 know that we're going to be having um our, our baby at one of the lesser 00:38:02.489 --> 00:38:10.416 medical intensive um hospitals. And, and uh um I was, I was again, like I 00:38:10.449 --> 00:38:17.166 said, I was working, um I had a job change. Uh got the boss. Uh the really 00:38:17.199 --> 00:38:24.405 militant horrible boss actually had put me on a program and rather than 00:38:24.438 --> 00:38:27.666 going through that process and ultimately having me having her fire me 00:38:27.699 --> 00:38:31.936 because she, that's what she ultimately wanted to do. Uh I talked with 00:38:31.969 --> 00:38:38.037 some other people in the company and we moved, I moved to another role 00:38:38.070 --> 00:38:45.606 with people who cared about me and liked me and um but it was a call 00:38:45.639 --> 00:38:49.486 center role. And so I was on the phone so I was supposed to work on the 00:38:49.519 --> 00:38:56.807 first and I get up for work like seven o'clock. I was supposed to be at 00:38:56.840 --> 00:39:03.126 work at seven I think. And, and I mean, I get up, I'm in the shower. She's 00:39:03.159 --> 00:39:06.845 not wanting to move and I'm like, you know, hey, wake up move, you know, 00:39:06.878 --> 00:39:10.666 starting to freak mama out because it's brand new year. Your due date is 00:39:10.699 --> 00:39:16.356 in a couple of days you've been fairly active. Um She had a trigger. Um I 00:39:16.389 --> 00:39:20.736 knew that if I drank a cold glass of water really fast, she would be like 00:39:20.769 --> 00:39:25.066 , oh dude, get away from me. And so she'd move while I drank the water. 00:39:25.099 --> 00:39:29.796 She didn't move. I was like, I wake up my husband, I'm like, honey, I know 00:39:29.829 --> 00:39:33.267 it's your day off. But I think we have to go to the hospital. She's not 00:39:33.300 --> 00:39:37.905 moving. It's that freaky not moving. You know, he's like, ok, he gets up 00:39:37.938 --> 00:39:43.276 da da da, we get in the car, we're going down to the hospital about five 00:39:43.309 --> 00:39:48.445 minutes, not even five minutes, five blocks from the hospital. She moves. 00:39:48.478 --> 00:39:54.557 I'm like, ha, ok, baby's moving, baby's alive because this was always 00:39:54.590 --> 00:39:57.586 like my big 00:39:57.619 --> 00:40:05.456 and hey, uh we b he's like, well, we're this close. We may as well. Have 00:40:05.489 --> 00:40:09.517 you checked out anyway, you're a day or two out. Let's just make sure that 00:40:09.550 --> 00:40:16.666 everything's ok. So we go into the hospital. It's the first of January 00:40:16.699 --> 00:40:22.655 turns out this hospital had the New Year's baby for Arizona. So of course 00:40:22.688 --> 00:40:26.115 , I mean, and the hospitals are always packed on New Year's because 00:40:26.148 --> 00:40:28.977 there's so many people who are not even New Year's, but New Year's Day. 00:40:29.010 --> 00:40:32.526 There's so many people who try to plan for that New Year's baby for 00:40:32.559 --> 00:40:36.046 whatever purpose, if they want the extra prizes or if they want the 00:40:36.079 --> 00:40:44.079 recognition and so forth. They so um it was jam packed, the L and D labor 00:40:46.070 --> 00:40:51.635 side was packed, the delivery, the postpartum was, was full of people. Um 00:40:51.668 --> 00:40:57.736 , triage was not uncomfortably packed but it was um there was very few 00:40:57.769 --> 00:41:04.827 openings. So we're in there and the hospital person checks me and is like 00:41:04.860 --> 00:41:09.865 , well, we're going to get a hold of your midwife so on and so forth. So 00:41:09.898 --> 00:41:14.856 why don't you just walk the halls? Um, but we need to get her information 00:41:14.889 --> 00:41:18.026 or, you know, her call on whether, but we're pretty sure you're going to 00:41:18.059 --> 00:41:21.816 get admitted because you're four. And I'm like, oh, ok. That's, that's 00:41:21.849 --> 00:41:24.856 reassuring. My body's been doing something with all these contractions 00:41:24.889 --> 00:41:29.816 I've been enduring since, since Halloween. And so we're walking the floor 00:41:29.849 --> 00:41:34.095 , uh turn ends up and this is like, you know, of course, now this is 00:41:34.128 --> 00:41:38.095 around between seven and eight o'clock that we roll into triage. We don't 00:41:38.128 --> 00:41:42.425 hear from the midwife until five or six o'clock in the afternoon. We spend 00:41:42.458 --> 00:41:46.166 the entire day walking the floor in Tria and, and being based out of 00:41:46.199 --> 00:41:53.307 triage, um, she turns out, we find out later, um, she was at a funeral for 00:41:53.340 --> 00:41:58.336 a baby that had been lost in her practice. And so that's why the hospital 00:41:58.369 --> 00:42:01.845 couldn't reach her. Um, but it was getting to be, you know, about five 00:42:01.878 --> 00:42:06.557 o'clock. We're like, really, we need to, you know, we're done, we want to 00:42:06.590 --> 00:42:12.236 go home or get admitted, you know, what's going on for her pregnancy. I 00:42:12.269 --> 00:42:16.905 had decided that I was going to have a dedicated 00:42:16.938 --> 00:42:22.135 um doula. And so I had hired a doula for, for that. Um I hadn't called her 00:42:22.168 --> 00:42:27.336 in yet. Um But, but we, we did have a dedicated doula because that was 00:42:27.369 --> 00:42:31.365 another decision from the first pregnancy. That was like, I didn't have 00:42:31.398 --> 00:42:36.026 anybody who was like, totally, like, dedicated to me that had no other 00:42:36.059 --> 00:42:39.405 commitments. Everybody else with the first pregnancy, everyone else had 00:42:39.438 --> 00:42:43.175 their own thing. You know, the doctor had her thing. The midwife, the 00:42:43.208 --> 00:42:47.376 original midwife was, had checked out, the student was a student. My 00:42:47.409 --> 00:42:51.166 girlfriend had her family, 00:42:51.199 --> 00:42:55.557 my girlfriend had her family. Um my husband was off in LA la land with, on 00:42:55.590 --> 00:43:01.666 Benadryl. So we decided that I needed to have my own, dedicated, my own 00:43:01.699 --> 00:43:08.307 dedicated Doula for this um pregnancy. Finally, we get through the, 00:43:08.340 --> 00:43:13.037 through the walking in the day. My husband will tell you about the women 00:43:13.070 --> 00:43:19.227 that came in that day and had like those super fast, like from 0 to 10 00:43:19.260 --> 00:43:24.296 deliveries. There was two of them during the day that we were walking that 00:43:24.329 --> 00:43:28.876 day around the room, around the floor of the hospital. Um, you know, you 00:43:28.909 --> 00:43:34.767 go from, oh, I think I'm having contractions due oh my in like 20 minutes 00:43:34.800 --> 00:43:38.126 and all of the moaning and groaning and screaming and hollering that 00:43:38.159 --> 00:43:42.997 happens. That goes with a speed of delivery of that. And so my husband 00:43:43.030 --> 00:43:49.756 always will tell you that story about that verse. Yeah. 00:43:49.789 --> 00:43:57.276 He, he's frustrated. What do you want? What do you wanna do? 00:43:57.309 --> 00:44:04.467 He's also gotten into a talking phase lately last week, something now. 00:44:04.500 --> 00:44:08.956 Oh, you know what? I bet you, I bet you, you, he's working on a diaper? Oh 00:44:08.989 --> 00:44:14.865 , maybe that's it. Do you wanna, so, we try the nursing thing again to see 00:44:14.898 --> 00:44:21.827 if that will make you quiet for 20 minutes or so. That'd be awesome. I, I 00:44:21.860 --> 00:44:26.307 wasn't worried about the noise. It just was like, I feel like he's like he 00:44:26.340 --> 00:44:32.135 wants something, he want to get something to hold on to, he wants to move 00:44:32.168 --> 00:44:37.577 on his own. He's, his legs are really strong. We got him a jumpy seat 00:44:37.610 --> 00:44:40.827 because he just loves to do that. It took him a couple of days to figure 00:44:40.860 --> 00:44:45.626 it out, but he really loves it. Now, I know mommy didn't bring her pillow 00:44:45.659 --> 00:44:50.037 because I wasn't thinking that far ahead. 00:44:50.070 --> 00:44:53.666 He likes that perfect positioning that, you know, he can just lay down on 00:44:53.699 --> 00:45:00.106 the, on the bobby and I love those things. Um 00:45:00.139 --> 00:45:05.497 So we finally get admitted. Um you know, early in the evening and at this 00:45:05.530 --> 00:45:11.037 point, um we're still walking the floor. I did have a birth ball for this 00:45:11.070 --> 00:45:14.787 one. So I had been sitting on that for a little bit letting, trying to let 00:45:14.820 --> 00:45:17.497 my husband have a little bit of a break because of course, at this point, 00:45:17.530 --> 00:45:24.756 he's like, I've been walking all day and this is not my realm of happiness 00:45:24.789 --> 00:45:30.586 and he's like, I want a break. And so we called the doula and she came 00:45:30.619 --> 00:45:35.546 probably about 1030 11 o'clock at night, about midnight. The midwife 00:45:35.579 --> 00:45:38.767 arrived and she's like, so 00:45:38.800 --> 00:45:42.856 you're about five. 00:45:42.889 --> 00:45:49.807 There's, there's one thing for Alexis's story that I forgot. Um, we are 00:45:49.840 --> 00:45:56.236 talking about breaking water and we had talked about how she was a little 00:45:56.269 --> 00:46:00.787 cork. So we're in the hospital and they're like, you haven't had your 00:46:00.820 --> 00:46:04.365 water break. I'm like, no, not that I'm aware of again. I don't know what 00:46:04.398 --> 00:46:09.586 I'm supposed to be looking for the first time. Mom. And they're like, ok, 00:46:09.619 --> 00:46:12.327 well, we're going to go and they're like, we're going to go in and break 00:46:12.360 --> 00:46:16.405 the water. And so for silly me, I'm like, well, they're just going to go 00:46:16.438 --> 00:46:21.557 up there with their hand and pinch it or rip it or something. No. 00:46:21.590 --> 00:46:27.796 Literally, it's a hook. I didn't had no idea. So they're up there with the 00:46:27.829 --> 00:46:31.747 hook and then they're up there and they've got the hook in their fingers 00:46:31.780 --> 00:46:35.095 and they're like, I've got hair 00:46:35.128 --> 00:46:42.227 and I was like, ok, they're like your water. You, she's like, down. So, 00:46:42.260 --> 00:46:46.236 yeah, there's nothing here to break. And so when she was born, of course, 00:46:46.269 --> 00:46:51.365 she had like, divots, little scratchy, divots in her head again. Another 00:46:51.398 --> 00:46:55.997 thing about, you know how traumatic this was in the world of trauma. It's 00:46:56.030 --> 00:47:00.135 not the worst. But for me, first time mom, not knowing what I'm doing, 00:47:00.168 --> 00:47:04.865 it's like you scratch the living daylights out of my baby's head. Of 00:47:04.898 --> 00:47:09.945 course, I don't want internal monitoring. 00:47:09.978 --> 00:47:16.767 So, back to the second birth she's like midnight. Do you want, do you want 00:47:16.800 --> 00:47:20.486 this to get started? Let's, I think that if we break her water, your body 00:47:20.519 --> 00:47:23.517 is just going to kick in, we're going to get this going. You're not going 00:47:23.550 --> 00:47:26.986 to have the 24 hours that you had with the first. She did a lot of 00:47:27.019 --> 00:47:30.017 reassuring that this wasn't going to be a, at the first we weren't going 00:47:30.050 --> 00:47:34.135 to have the medical interventions, you know, she knew what she was doing. 00:47:34.168 --> 00:47:39.385 And of course, it was very comical because she had three of us in labor 00:47:39.418 --> 00:47:43.026 at the time. She had two at the one hospital I was at and one in another 00:47:43.059 --> 00:47:49.336 hospital three or four miles away and probably more miles than that. But 00:47:49.369 --> 00:47:55.316 anyway, about 15 minutes away. And so, and that hospital was more highly 00:47:55.349 --> 00:48:00.717 medical and the nurses, there were a little more gy about progress and so 00:48:00.750 --> 00:48:05.296 forth. So she's like, ok, we're going to break the water and then I had 00:48:05.329 --> 00:48:09.327 that big, you know, because she hadn't descended. So we had the big water 00:48:09.360 --> 00:48:13.155 gush and I got to experience that and I'm like, oh, this is what it's all 00:48:13.188 --> 00:48:18.776 about and she's like, oh, you know, we do have Meconium in the um, and 00:48:18.809 --> 00:48:22.267 didn't have that with the first. So that was, and that was nice. But she's 00:48:22.300 --> 00:48:28.695 like, oh, well, we've got meconium in the um, the uh fluid. So then of 00:48:28.728 --> 00:48:33.526 course, the protocol they rolled in the, the neonatal nurses and their 00:48:33.559 --> 00:48:39.267 station and everything. And so that was like, oh, you know, and, and, um, 00:48:39.300 --> 00:48:44.776 so we, but she got me all because eventually she did kind of come down, 00:48:44.809 --> 00:48:48.577 she was probably just bobbing around in all this extra water. And so she 00:48:48.610 --> 00:48:52.865 came down, it kind of stopped flowing. Um, put on my fancy, you know, 00:48:52.898 --> 00:48:56.896 hospital underwear and she said, ok, now you get to go walking some more. 00:48:56.929 --> 00:48:59.296 And I'm like, oh, really? I looked at my husband and I was like, I'm 00:48:59.329 --> 00:49:05.287 taking a nap and so the doula was on, you know, on point. So she came, she 00:49:05.320 --> 00:49:10.967 was, um, she was already, she's so we're walking the floor and again, she 00:49:11.000 --> 00:49:13.155 was much more with it because of course, at this point, I'm tired, I've 00:49:13.188 --> 00:49:18.365 been walking the floor all day and we made a couple of rounds and then 00:49:18.398 --> 00:49:20.865 she's like, is it getting harder to talk? Because she just kept me in this 00:49:20.898 --> 00:49:24.486 running conversation and she's like, is it getting harder? I'm like, yeah. 00:49:24.519 --> 00:49:28.327 And so we made another, another walk around. She's like, ok, you know, 00:49:28.360 --> 00:49:36.360 maybe we should walk a little slower and we uh um 00:49:41.039 --> 00:49:46.017 made another pass and at this point, I'm like, uh starting to feel it 00:49:46.050 --> 00:49:49.595 where I actually have to stop and breathe through contractions. But I'm 00:49:49.628 --> 00:49:53.307 gonna, I, I wanted to soldier on and so we kept walking and I think we 00:49:53.340 --> 00:49:57.077 made another halfway around but she's like, ok, we need to go back to the 00:49:57.110 --> 00:50:01.401 room and, and make sure that, you know, we're in the right place when, 00:50:01.434 --> 00:50:05.381 because she felt it was moving a little faster. I was still like, no. And 00:50:05.414 --> 00:50:09.842 , and I don't really know what time it was per se, but I think my husband 00:50:09.875 --> 00:50:13.820 said he got like a good couple hour nap. So it's probably like between two 00:50:13.853 --> 00:50:19.921 and three at this point. Um, and we haven't seen, we haven't seen my 00:50:19.954 --> 00:50:26.595 midwife and um, and then we find out that she's let that go through 00:50:26.628 --> 00:50:30.845 whatever go away, 00:50:30.878 --> 00:50:33.635 don't need. 00:50:33.668 --> 00:50:36.936 So we hadn't seen the midwife for a while, find out that she's at the 00:50:36.969 --> 00:50:42.695 other hospital and, um, then we see her, she pops in and she's like, ok, 00:50:42.728 --> 00:50:46.077 yeah, you're going, you're fine. Like, you know, she didn't do any checks 00:50:46.110 --> 00:50:50.206 because that, you know, is, is part of the midwife, um, protocol is that, 00:50:50.239 --> 00:50:55.376 you know, if there's nothing really going on or going awry, they don't 00:50:55.409 --> 00:51:00.095 wanna introduce any extra bacteria or anything. So we, uh, she's like, ok 00:51:00.128 --> 00:51:03.876 , you know, getting the, getting the, um, the lay of the land from the 00:51:03.909 --> 00:51:08.876 midwife or from the doula and, and she's like, yeah, you're doing ok and 00:51:08.909 --> 00:51:12.077 da da, and then she went to go check on her other patient and then she 00:51:12.110 --> 00:51:19.646 gets called away again. So she was not on, not on property and progressing 00:51:19.679 --> 00:51:25.135 along. And as, and then and then of course, I did my vomiting 00:51:25.168 --> 00:51:31.227 and my husband's there and we were doing massage and the heated rice pack 00:51:31.260 --> 00:51:35.706 she had brought in. And so she was putting that on my back and, and he was 00:51:35.739 --> 00:51:39.967 working on and I was doing the leaning on him. So he was like by the, by 00:51:40.000 --> 00:51:44.577 the end of the delivery and everything, he was just exhausted because I 00:51:44.610 --> 00:51:51.666 did. But I wanted to have because at this point, I was over 35 and he was 00:51:51.699 --> 00:51:56.827 like two and done. He was, this was, we were going to be done. And so I 00:51:56.860 --> 00:52:01.925 wanted to have that husband, wife connection during birth. And so I was 00:52:01.958 --> 00:52:08.287 like, totally like, like just, I was like clamoring to have that, you know 00:52:08.320 --> 00:52:13.497 , that beautiful connection that, you know, and, and so I desperately 00:52:13.530 --> 00:52:19.385 wanted that and so I was all over him and he had to be there because he 00:52:19.418 --> 00:52:25.666 was missing during the first and she was coaching him about how to help 00:52:25.699 --> 00:52:33.699 and, and really be a part of it and, and we were progressing along just 00:52:34.418 --> 00:52:37.146 poking his eye. 00:52:37.179 --> 00:52:40.876 You do that 00:52:40.909 --> 00:52:48.909 up there. You're just being a finicky bucket today. 00:52:49.409 --> 00:52:55.135 Fast bucket. Um This is f that you haven't made, 00:52:55.168 --> 00:53:02.006 I have very little tolerance that way. 00:53:02.039 --> 00:53:09.307 Um OK, so, yeah, here we go. So, of course, again, I had tested positive 00:53:09.340 --> 00:53:15.456 for the strep, so I still was um connected to an IV and they were giving 00:53:15.489 --> 00:53:22.595 me the, um, antibiotics, uh, because I was so active, I didn't, they, they 00:53:22.628 --> 00:53:27.017 , even though the hospital protocol wanted me to have continuous 00:53:27.050 --> 00:53:32.675 monitoring, um, the, they, they, they couldn't keep me in the bed so they 00:53:32.708 --> 00:53:36.925 couldn't have the belly belt on. So it got to the point where the nurse, 00:53:36.958 --> 00:53:42.885 and again, the, the, this is a testament to the nursing staff and, uh, 00:53:42.918 --> 00:53:48.421 that they are the less medically inclined hospital. She was like, ok, just 00:53:48.454 --> 00:53:51.561 let me get a monitor and she would hold it up to where she could get 00:53:51.594 --> 00:53:56.030 enough on the tape to make the protocol happy. And then, and then she put 00:53:56.063 --> 00:54:03.231 it down. And so they had this tape that had a bunch of breaks in it, but 00:54:03.264 --> 00:54:09.736 they had what they needed for the protocol. And so, um, at the very, you 00:54:09.769 --> 00:54:13.077 know, I was like, ok, I'm getting the urge and they're like, oh, well, 00:54:13.110 --> 00:54:18.186 you've got to wait because the midwife isn't here. And I'm like, ok, you 00:54:18.219 --> 00:54:22.747 know, and, and so we went through like one pass and we were like, and I'm 00:54:22.780 --> 00:54:26.771 like, no, we're not, not going to be waiting anymore. And I can't do this 00:54:26.804 --> 00:54:30.561 because it's so painful. And I was crying and this was the first time my 00:54:30.594 --> 00:54:34.191 husband was like, she didn't cry the first time and the doula was like, 00:54:34.224 --> 00:54:37.611 well, of course, she didn't, she had an epidural and he's like, well, but 00:54:37.644 --> 00:54:42.936 she doesn't cry when she's in pain either. I mean, you know, and so, um, 00:54:42.969 --> 00:54:49.997 at the very end with the very last, um, push, we did do like Stadol or 00:54:50.030 --> 00:54:54.236 Tylenol Liquid. I don't know what it, it's one of those really mild, it 00:54:54.269 --> 00:54:58.546 was just enough to take the edge off so I could relax and get through. The 00:54:58.579 --> 00:55:04.686 last pushes ended up being on my back. But I wasn't, they didn't, I don't 00:55:04.719 --> 00:55:08.066 remember anybody holding my legs up. I remember just like having my legs 00:55:08.099 --> 00:55:15.925 down and lifting my body. Um, ended up my midwife wasn't there. The 00:55:15.958 --> 00:55:21.905 hospitalist caught but my husband got to, um, cut the cord. The 00:55:21.938 --> 00:55:28.845 hospitalist was so, so funny. She's like, what do I do? The doula talks 00:55:28.878 --> 00:55:34.287 her through it and the nurses and, and, uh, and then she's like, oh, 00:55:34.320 --> 00:55:40.787 you're bleeding. I care. I tear like crazy and she's like, oh my gosh. And 00:55:40.820 --> 00:55:44.247 it kind of tapers off and she's like, but you're still like, oh, that's a 00:55:44.280 --> 00:55:49.756 terrible, oh, I don't know what to do with that. And, and, and of course 00:55:49.789 --> 00:55:53.307 they had whisked the baby off, the neonatal, had whisked her off because 00:55:53.340 --> 00:55:57.057 they were like, oh, she has to breathe and she's infected with her own poo 00:55:57.090 --> 00:56:00.655 and blah, blah, blah. But they cleaned her up. They were really good too. 00:56:00.688 --> 00:56:04.845 Again, a testament to the staff and to the lack of medical at that 00:56:04.878 --> 00:56:09.126 hospital. Um, they were super fast. They're like, oh, yeah, she's fine. 00:56:09.159 --> 00:56:14.115 They got her back to me. I had skin to skin, um, but she was big. She was 00:56:14.148 --> 00:56:19.445 £9.02 ounces. And this is when I found out that the £9 mark is the bells 00:56:19.478 --> 00:56:24.967 and whistles for protocols for baby diabetes. And so they did have to do a 00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:33.000 baby stick on her and, and, and test her sugar and the midwife arrives 00:56:33.500 --> 00:56:37.256 finally and she's like, oh, yeah, you get a pretty good tear. Oh, well, ok 00:56:37.289 --> 00:56:45.289 , let's sew that up. And she did the, uh, lidocaine injection and sewed me 00:56:45.688 --> 00:56:50.206 up. It was a pretty decent one from what I understand. Um, there was two 00:56:50.239 --> 00:56:55.896 or three layers of stitches. So it was pretty deep but it wasn't like a 00:56:55.929 --> 00:57:01.856 problem. It wasn't a problem. 00:57:01.889 --> 00:57:08.756 Um, ended up doing nursing, the nurses at the hospital, um, were like you 00:57:08.789 --> 00:57:13.227 get to nurse her, um, make sure that she's eating really good. Um, and 00:57:13.260 --> 00:57:17.236 kind of coached me through the process of getting her to pass her diabetes 00:57:17.269 --> 00:57:23.376 screen. Um, they knew that I was destination diabetic with the first and 00:57:23.409 --> 00:57:30.986 that I had, um, chose to not take the test for the second. And so they 00:57:31.019 --> 00:57:36.736 just followed the protocol for the baby and they had one, they were like, 00:57:36.769 --> 00:57:43.095 ok, it's close, make sure you keep nursing. And so she just, oh, my 00:57:43.128 --> 00:57:48.925 goodness, she kept nursing and we did, she was a great nurser. She latched 00:57:48.958 --> 00:57:56.958 on and she was a champ um, and, um, and she passed all of her diabetes 00:57:57.719 --> 00:58:00.526 screens and they said, ok, that's it. And it's because they did three 00:58:00.559 --> 00:58:05.175 sticks and she passed all of them and that was the last we talked about it 00:58:05.208 --> 00:58:07.977 for that one. 00:58:08.010 --> 00:58:11.595 Um, 00:58:11.628 --> 00:58:19.628 what else? It was, it was pretty non, like, eventful after that. Um, she 00:58:19.688 --> 00:58:27.307 was a great kiddo, um, during her toddlerhood. We, uh, because of the 00:58:27.340 --> 00:58:32.497 layoffs and the budget and so forth, we finally realized that it just 00:58:32.530 --> 00:58:37.115 didn't make sense for me to be working anymore. And so I did the stay at 00:58:37.148 --> 00:58:42.695 home. I, I, and so we had a lot more time to do nursing. And so I think 00:58:42.728 --> 00:58:49.776 she nursed until she was well over two years old. Um Again, she chose when 00:58:49.809 --> 00:58:54.747 to stop. And that was one of those days where I was like, it was, it was 00:58:54.780 --> 00:58:57.635 sad the first time when my first daughter just stopped nursing, but I knew 00:58:57.668 --> 00:59:01.365 I was gonna have another shot at it when she stopped nursing. I was like, 00:59:01.398 --> 00:59:08.115 oh, that phase in my life. So, ok, get ok with that chapter being closed. 00:59:08.148 --> 00:59:13.675 Um Because at that point we were done, my husband was like, I'm getting, 00:59:13.708 --> 00:59:21.365 I'm getting um my vasectomy and we're done. And I was like, ok, because I 00:59:21.398 --> 00:59:26.445 mean, I wasn't young anymore, but I wasn't like, I didn't feel like we 00:59:26.478 --> 00:59:31.115 were done. But according to him, we were, and of course, you know, we're 00:59:31.148 --> 00:59:37.247 in this new world where he's the sole breadwinner and, um, the economy in 00:59:37.280 --> 00:59:42.845 the tank. Um, she was born in 2010. So we were right in the thick of the 00:59:42.878 --> 00:59:47.227 economy being in the tank, we were upside down in the house. Um, you know 00:59:47.260 --> 00:59:51.717 , all these different things and so he's like, yeah, we can't have any 00:59:51.750 --> 00:59:59.517 more kids. It's just economically not feasible. And, and so we, uh, uh, 00:59:59.550 --> 01:00:02.606 you know, are trucking along, trucking along. I'm doing the stay at home 01:00:02.639 --> 01:00:10.639 mom thing, couponing, doing all the good stuff. And 2014, 01:00:10.659 --> 01:00:18.659 um, we, I missed a period and I'm like, hm, and I take a test and I'm 01:00:22.489 --> 01:00:27.296 pregnant and it takes me forever to figure out how to tell him because I'm 01:00:27.329 --> 01:00:32.916 like, now what, you know, because he's going to freak out and sure enough 01:00:32.949 --> 01:00:37.296 he did. Um, he's like, how are we going to afford this? What are we going 01:00:37.329 --> 01:00:41.057 to do? We can't, you know, we just got out of diapers because she had 01:00:41.090 --> 01:00:47.077 potty trained. Um, so we were all out of diapers and how are we going to 01:00:47.110 --> 01:00:53.635 afford this and so on and so forth? And then in August, um, sh that, that 01:00:53.668 --> 01:01:01.467 baby would have been born in, in March of 2015 and in August of 2014, I 01:01:01.500 --> 01:01:07.905 had a miscarriage. Um, another, yet again, another midwife to talked me 01:01:07.938 --> 01:01:12.017 through the process. Um, because I was, I was at, at that point it was far 01:01:12.050 --> 01:01:14.836 enough along and I was like, ok, well, I'm gonna have, I'm gonna try to 01:01:14.869 --> 01:01:18.126 take another shot at this home birth thing. Um, because now I've had a 01:01:18.159 --> 01:01:22.736 successful, nearly without any medication hospital birth. I should be able 01:01:22.769 --> 01:01:26.077 to do this home birth thing again. Um, let's take a shot at it now. So I 01:01:26.110 --> 01:01:30.155 was gonna, I was getting, I was interviewing midwives and getting ready to 01:01:30.188 --> 01:01:35.086 make a choice and get on the, um, get on a plan for, for um, all my 01:01:35.119 --> 01:01:41.017 prenatals, prenatal appointments and everything and, and uh, so the one of 01:01:41.050 --> 01:01:44.287 the midwives that I have been interviewing with, I was like, um, this is 01:01:44.320 --> 01:01:49.026 happening, what is going on and she's like, oh, you know, she'll be fine 01:01:49.059 --> 01:01:52.445 because it was just a little, it started out real slow, um, real light 01:01:52.478 --> 01:01:55.807 blood and she's like, you know, some people have blood in, you know, mid 01:01:55.840 --> 01:01:59.727 pregnancy. It's not a big deal. And, and I was like, ok, you know, it's 01:01:59.760 --> 01:02:03.606 not normal for me, which is why I'm reaching out to you. And, uh, and then 01:02:03.639 --> 01:02:07.566 , um, I had one big blood clot and she's like you should go to the 01:02:07.599 --> 01:02:12.385 hospital and just make sure. And um, by the time I was checked into the, 01:02:12.418 --> 01:02:20.418 er, uh, we were in full, um, full blown uh miscarriage and um, the, so the 01:02:21.039 --> 01:02:26.046 they did the internal ultrasound to see just to make sure. And that was 01:02:26.079 --> 01:02:31.287 incredibly painful and ended up, 01:02:31.320 --> 01:02:36.967 um, the doctor second time in my life that a male doctor was, uh, checking 01:02:37.000 --> 01:02:43.037 out my lady bits. Um, the, uh, he's like, so I can either give you 01:02:43.070 --> 01:02:47.026 medication to finish it off, but I pretty, I think you're pretty well 01:02:47.059 --> 01:02:51.816 through it. Um, I would, I would, I encourage you to make sure and check 01:02:51.849 --> 01:02:57.376 in with your doctor so that, um, everything is, you know, in case you have 01:02:57.409 --> 01:03:00.336 to have ad NC to make sure that, that, you know, because you don't want 01:03:00.369 --> 01:03:04.206 anything inside and I'm like, oh yeah, I got it rotting inside of me and 01:03:04.239 --> 01:03:12.239 blah, blah, blah. Um, that really took a toll on my, um, like, you know, 01:03:12.909 --> 01:03:18.365 ego and psyche and, and everything. Um I was like, ok, and, and, and 01:03:18.398 --> 01:03:24.396 secondarily it was, oh, ok. God got it. You know, I'm done, I'm done and, 01:03:24.429 --> 01:03:28.307 and, you know, I won't, I won't pressure my husband to not get the, get 01:03:28.340 --> 01:03:35.577 the, um, vasectomy and blah, blah, blah. Um, because I had bought, you 01:03:35.610 --> 01:03:38.537 know, I was like after the first, after the two girls, I was like, oh, 01:03:38.570 --> 01:03:42.316 we're going to play for, for a third and, and I had gotten the book, um, I 01:03:42.349 --> 01:03:46.615 forget who wrote it. Um, but it's the one that you, you go through and 01:03:46.648 --> 01:03:50.436 chart your cycles so that you can choose the best time to have a 01:03:50.469 --> 01:03:55.385 particular sex over the other. And, and so I had gotten the book and I 01:03:55.418 --> 01:03:59.057 read through it and I, you know, was like, oh, you know, and like I said, 01:03:59.090 --> 01:04:05.727 we made the decision to not have anything. So, um, but uh, we, so I was 01:04:05.760 --> 01:04:10.635 like, ok, God, you got the message not going to have any more kids. And lo 01:04:10.668 --> 01:04:17.066 and behold, I'm pregnant again. Ok. In 2015, why don't we take a break 01:04:17.099 --> 01:04:19.706 before we start on New York? Because it's been over an hour now and you're 01:04:19.739 --> 01:04:23.385 planning to walk around and let's just take a little bit of a break. I'm 01:04:23.418 --> 01:04:31.418 sorry. So we were not going to have any more kids and the, you know, just 01:04:32.510 --> 01:04:37.046 getting ok with that. And before we had kind of before I kind of 01:04:37.079 --> 01:04:39.986 reconciled and said, ok, yeah, we're not going to have any more kids 01:04:40.019 --> 01:04:46.345 because, you know, the baby was now four going on five. looking at going 01:04:46.378 --> 01:04:49.836 to kindergarten. Yeah, we're definitely not going to start this whole 01:04:49.869 --> 01:04:54.195 process over again. Um I always thought it was, you know, you just want to 01:04:54.228 --> 01:04:57.796 stay in diapers so you have that you have that expense and, and we were 01:04:57.829 --> 01:05:03.977 out of diapers now and, and we, um but I had bought the book that was like 01:05:04.010 --> 01:05:08.236 , you know, the one that told you how to chart yourself and so that you 01:05:08.269 --> 01:05:11.635 could choose the sex of your baby. And I had was all on this bandwagon and 01:05:11.668 --> 01:05:18.896 then I reconciled that we weren't going to have any more kids and we, um, 01:05:18.929 --> 01:05:24.816 all of a sudden I find myself pregnant and I'm like, ok, how am I gonna 01:05:24.849 --> 01:05:29.827 tell my husband? And so I tell him and, and he does, in fact freak out 01:05:29.860 --> 01:05:36.227 because I had a clue that he would. But, um, you know, he did freak out 01:05:36.260 --> 01:05:39.747 and he's like, oh, my gosh, how are we going to pay for all these diapers 01:05:39.780 --> 01:05:45.296 and, and the delivery and, and so on and so forth and, and all the cost of 01:05:45.329 --> 01:05:51.365 , and, and, um, we had gotten rid of so many things. Um, baby wise. So how 01:05:51.398 --> 01:05:56.296 are we gonna buy all those things again? Um, even use their, their 01:05:56.329 --> 01:06:03.577 expensive items. And so, um, I hadn't, I, I hadn't started, I had started 01:06:03.610 --> 01:06:07.586 the, the interview process how to, you know, um, talking with midwives and 01:06:07.619 --> 01:06:11.717 , and, um, 01:06:11.750 --> 01:06:15.695 figuring out how we're going to do this because now I've been through two 01:06:15.728 --> 01:06:19.706 births and I should be able to have that home birth that I've always 01:06:19.739 --> 01:06:27.739 wanted. I, I had had one, medicated hospital birth. I had 1 99.9% 01:06:28.969 --> 01:06:33.336 unmedicated hospital birth. So I was, I was going to have my home birth 01:06:33.369 --> 01:06:39.017 now and starting the process of interviewing. Um, I was almost 40 years 01:06:39.050 --> 01:06:47.050 old. Uh, and, um, you know, uh, talking with the last midwife that I had 01:06:47.860 --> 01:06:53.717 interviewed, I was like, I'm having this, um, bloody show and she's like, 01:06:53.750 --> 01:06:59.796 oh, that's ok. You know, it's early, you're, you're fine. Um, you know, a 01:06:59.829 --> 01:07:07.467 lot of that happens a lot with, with, um, with, you know, late older moms 01:07:07.500 --> 01:07:11.997 and moms that have had, uh, multiple Children. And I was like, ok, well, 01:07:12.030 --> 01:07:14.675 this isn't normal for me. So that's why I reached out and she's like, well 01:07:14.708 --> 01:07:20.115 , that's ok. And, and, uh, uh, later in the day I had a much larger blood 01:07:20.148 --> 01:07:25.236 clot, um, come out of my body and I was like, oh, this doesn't feel right. 01:07:25.269 --> 01:07:28.885 I'm getting these weird cramps. She's like, you probably better go to the 01:07:28.918 --> 01:07:36.816 emergency room. We went to the, er, um, mm, one of our, some of our 01:07:36.849 --> 01:07:42.037 friends, um, who, we've made connections now since I have these old, the 01:07:42.070 --> 01:07:46.675 older girls, um, took the girls so that we could go to the, er, without, 01:07:46.708 --> 01:07:53.477 um, without kids dealing with, with them. And so we spent, um, the next 01:07:53.510 --> 01:07:59.376 probably six hours, eight hours in the hospital, um, determining that. In 01:07:59.409 --> 01:08:04.615 fact, sorry, I didn't mean to hurt when I do that. Just, it means like at 01:08:04.648 --> 01:08:08.566 some point breaking point, let me ask a question. I don't want to like to 01:08:08.599 --> 01:08:13.146 just stop you in a sentence. But I just want to ask you, can you clarify 01:08:13.179 --> 01:08:17.305 how far along you were and then like, where you are emotionally in this? 01:08:17.338 --> 01:08:20.567 Because it's like, really factual but, you know, you're not talking about 01:08:20.600 --> 01:08:25.586 like, where is your head? Were you like freaking out? Were you, where were 01:08:25.619 --> 01:08:29.385 you? Um 01:08:29.418 --> 01:08:37.418 So how far along I was, it was still fairly early in the, in the um like 01:08:37.668 --> 01:08:41.796 it was first trimester and so it wasn't a normal, what they would consider 01:08:41.829 --> 01:08:49.166 a normal miscarriage. Um It um 01:08:49.199 --> 01:08:52.506 yeah, I, I was super excited. I had gotten totally married to this 01:08:52.539 --> 01:08:59.045 pregnancy because I was like, I, I'm, I, I'd looked at the charts and 01:08:59.078 --> 01:09:02.686 while we weren't actively charting when I got pregnant, it looked like it 01:09:02.719 --> 01:09:07.026 was probably going to be a boy because of the timing and, and, um, it was 01:09:07.059 --> 01:09:10.844 that one night that we were like, oh, you know, we're totally into this 01:09:10.877 --> 01:09:14.446 and we don't have time for birth control and, you know, we were just 01:09:14.479 --> 01:09:17.915 messing around because I was old and I wasn't going to get pregnant again. 01:09:17.948 --> 01:09:22.406 And, uh, and, and, you know, it just takes that one time which we should 01:09:22.439 --> 01:09:25.006 have known better because it just took the one time with the previous 01:09:25.039 --> 01:09:32.706 pregnancy. Um, and so we, uh, I, I had gotten completely married and I was 01:09:32.739 --> 01:09:39.515 pretty convinced it was a boy because it was, uh, the timing was right and 01:09:39.548 --> 01:09:44.237 then this comes up and, and, and I'm in the hospital and the girls are 01:09:44.270 --> 01:09:48.567 with friends and, you know, and I'm like, I'm in pain and so of course 01:09:48.600 --> 01:09:53.616 they gave me something for the pain and, and finally I get seen and they, 01:09:53.649 --> 01:09:59.515 they did, um, the internal ultrasound to see if there was anything and, um 01:09:59.548 --> 01:10:04.015 , get back from, from the ultrasound and the doctor's like we can't see 01:10:04.048 --> 01:10:10.726 anything. It's probably already been passed. Um, I'm just gutted at this 01:10:10.759 --> 01:10:16.576 point and even my husband, um, was kind of wiping his face. Um, I wouldn't 01:10:16.609 --> 01:10:21.147 necessarily say he was crying per se but definitely kind of teary and 01:10:21.180 --> 01:10:25.746 weepy. Um, because I think he was probably pretty excited with the 01:10:25.779 --> 01:10:28.786 possibility that we were going to have another baby. Of course, we got, we 01:10:28.819 --> 01:10:34.836 hadn't had that discussion like it could have been a boy because I had, we 01:10:34.869 --> 01:10:37.116 hadn't gotten to that point yet. I was still trying to get him through the 01:10:37.149 --> 01:10:41.135 freaking out that we were pregnant 01:10:41.168 --> 01:10:49.168 and, um, hey, he so, yeah, I was just gutted and, and trying to reconcile 01:10:51.918 --> 01:10:56.576 . I had just started the process to identify a midwife to go through 01:10:56.609 --> 01:11:02.107 pregnancy. Now I have to go and see a doctor to see if everything has come 01:11:02.140 --> 01:11:09.826 out. Um, ultimately ended up by the time I was kind of out of that 01:11:09.859 --> 01:11:15.326 depression or fr um, from losing the baby that it was far enough along 01:11:15.359 --> 01:11:20.086 that I wasn't having any complications that it was like 01:11:20.119 --> 01:11:26.996 it was a successful natural um, miscarriage. I didn't ever actually go see 01:11:27.029 --> 01:11:33.515 a doctor about it. Um, and that was probably good and bad, but, you know, 01:11:33.548 --> 01:11:37.845 um, we didn't actually go and do anything and to see, to make sure that it 01:11:37.878 --> 01:11:41.987 was because, like I said, by the time I was out of the funk far enough to 01:11:42.020 --> 01:11:47.187 make a doctor appointment, it was a good 2, 2.5 months down the road and 01:11:47.220 --> 01:11:50.786 from talking with other friends that have been through, it's amazing when 01:11:50.819 --> 01:11:54.515 you have a miscarriage. How many people come out of the woodwork? Oh, yeah 01:11:54.548 --> 01:11:58.256 , I know. Exactly. Or da, da da. And how many, how much more support 01:11:58.289 --> 01:12:03.406 suddenly you have through that process. Um, I had people who were like, 01:12:03.439 --> 01:12:07.206 let me take you to dinner, let me take you to lunch. Let's go to coffee. 01:12:07.239 --> 01:12:13.256 Just making, checking in, making sure I was ok. Um, you know, older moms 01:12:13.289 --> 01:12:18.376 who have an older, like moms my age but who have older kids, um, because I 01:12:18.409 --> 01:12:24.027 had kids so much later in life. Um, my kids are fairly young. Um, did you 01:12:24.060 --> 01:12:27.826 tell your girls that you were pregnant? Were they, we hadn't told them yet 01:12:27.859 --> 01:12:33.487 ? And, uh, so they really don't know, they know that mommy was sick, um, 01:12:33.520 --> 01:12:40.336 as it turns out at this point because the girls are older. Um, my in-laws 01:12:40.369 --> 01:12:44.876 were no longer estranged from us. They're local and so they had actually 01:12:44.909 --> 01:12:49.885 planned a family vacation, um, for that weekend that right after the 01:12:49.918 --> 01:12:57.918 miscarriage, um, we were all supposed to go out of town and, um, 01:12:59.119 --> 01:13:06.476 I was, it was a Monday or a Tuesday when it happened and, uh, that was one 01:13:06.509 --> 01:13:10.397 of my things in the hospital. I was, I looked at my husband and I said I 01:13:10.430 --> 01:13:17.555 am not going to a family vacation and not be able to be in the pool or the 01:13:17.588 --> 01:13:21.717 hot tub because of course of all of the bleeding and everything. Um, I'm 01:13:21.750 --> 01:13:24.756 not gonna go and do that. I'm not gonna go and pretend because at this 01:13:24.789 --> 01:13:30.996 point, his mother is still like not treating me like a person. She's 01:13:31.029 --> 01:13:34.467 dealing with me because I'm the mother of the grandchildren that she loves 01:13:34.500 --> 01:13:39.937 it dearly. But um I am not, I am no, I am person non grata and I am not 01:13:39.970 --> 01:13:45.845 going to deal with that while I'm going through this because I just lost a 01:13:45.878 --> 01:13:51.746 child that I was completely married to and couldn't even imagine trying to 01:13:51.779 --> 01:13:57.006 deal with that. So we made up some story. I don't remember how we got out 01:13:57.039 --> 01:13:59.536 of it. 01:13:59.569 --> 01:14:05.397 Um But I didn't have to go and um on their way out of town, they dropped 01:14:05.430 --> 01:14:10.647 me off with some friends and like I said, I had this now new circle of 01:14:10.680 --> 01:14:14.086 friends and acquaintances who kind of came out of the woodwork to help me 01:14:14.119 --> 01:14:18.607 through the process. Um And so it was like Friday night, I was with our 01:14:18.640 --> 01:14:24.777 friends that have the kids and, and um there was another thing going on in 01:14:24.810 --> 01:14:30.845 that circle already, um where some of the moms had gotten together and had 01:14:30.878 --> 01:14:34.786 conspired to have all the dads take the kids rather than having a house 01:14:34.819 --> 01:14:39.397 full of dads and moms and kids. Like we normally do, they had conspired to 01:14:39.430 --> 01:14:43.156 have the dads take the kids to the drive in. Our family was already quote 01:14:43.189 --> 01:14:49.187 , not have supposed to have been there. So I was back in the mom's portion 01:14:49.220 --> 01:14:53.147 and so it was really quiet night with moms because, um, and, and it was 01:14:53.180 --> 01:14:56.777 great for me because I was going through and then one of the other moms in 01:14:56.810 --> 01:15:00.371 the reason that they had conspired to get rid of the boys and the kids was 01:15:00.404 --> 01:15:04.862 because she was going, she was, she had just had um ablation. So for 01:15:04.895 --> 01:15:09.201 endometriosis and so she was already in pain. So the two of us sat on the 01:15:09.234 --> 01:15:15.321 couch both in uterine pain for different reasons, but kind of the same 01:15:15.354 --> 01:15:21.381 reason, you know, and she was mourning, of course, her ultimate end of her 01:15:21.414 --> 01:15:24.671 ability to have Children even though she was over 40 starting in 01:15:24.704 --> 01:15:30.336 premenopause and so forth. But um we were both mourning this loss and um 01:15:30.369 --> 01:15:34.595 then the other moms and we were all together and just, just this whole 01:15:34.628 --> 01:15:38.156 kind of coming together of this woman, you know, you know, you know, that 01:15:38.189 --> 01:15:46.189 , that whole, that happens when um women come together over uh uterine 01:15:46.259 --> 01:15:51.336 issues and, and so forth. Um That weekend I ended up, of course, I'm in 01:15:51.369 --> 01:15:55.217 and out of you know, pain drugs and stuff. But I, you know, I wasn't at 01:15:55.250 --> 01:16:00.187 home alone for very long except if I was sleeping that whole weekend. Um, 01:16:00.220 --> 01:16:03.796 even though my family was out of town 01:16:03.829 --> 01:16:09.567 at some point during the weekend, um, my, my husband ended up telling, um 01:16:09.600 --> 01:16:17.600 , his parents what happened. Um, and suddenly I became a person 01:16:18.270 --> 01:16:23.515 and, and, um, his mom wanted to take care of me, she wanted to take care 01:16:23.548 --> 01:16:30.696 of our family much more boldly than they, than they had in the past. Um, 01:16:30.729 --> 01:16:36.925 and, and we kind of, we, we made it through, um, Christmas that year and 01:16:36.958 --> 01:16:41.326 it was kind of a healing Christmas and, and our family kind of got closer 01:16:41.359 --> 01:16:48.175 again. Um, now, let's see, that's 2014. 01:16:48.208 --> 01:16:55.487 We had Victoria, the, the, um, younger baby was not yet. She was still f 01:16:55.520 --> 01:16:59.567 four. She'll turn, she would turn, she was turning five. So she didn't, uh 01:16:59.600 --> 01:17:07.555 , she wasn't yet in kindergarten and, and, um, spring comes around, um, 01:17:07.588 --> 01:17:13.626 2015. The girls are in a theater program. I'm madly sewing for, um, 01:17:13.659 --> 01:17:21.659 costumes because that's what I do. And, um, I'm like, huh, I missed, 01:17:22.359 --> 01:17:27.476 missed another period and I'm like, that's really interesting, um, in 01:17:27.509 --> 01:17:32.746 dealing with the, the miscarriage, you know, it's like, you know, got it, 01:17:32.779 --> 01:17:36.506 got it. I mean, I'm not having any more kids, you know, we're just gonna, 01:17:36.539 --> 01:17:41.226 2015 is a new year. We'll, he'll get his vasectomy. He'll be happy. We can 01:17:41.259 --> 01:17:44.836 , you know, deal, we don't have to have, you know, birth control in the 01:17:44.869 --> 01:17:51.206 drawer anymore. You know, this, that and the other and um, 01:17:51.239 --> 01:17:57.956 I, I'm, I uh actually no, let me back up. I with this, this fourth 01:17:57.989 --> 01:18:05.989 pregnancy. Um I did not. 01:18:06.529 --> 01:18:10.925 Were you um doing like natural family planning or were you using condoms 01:18:10.958 --> 01:18:16.446 that? Yeah, it was um, condoms and spermicide was our um birth control. 01:18:16.479 --> 01:18:21.196 And honestly, the both times that I got pregnant were literally we didn't 01:18:21.229 --> 01:18:25.826 use anything because of whatever 01:18:25.859 --> 01:18:31.336 I am now that because I had been on birth control for years, years and 01:18:31.369 --> 01:18:35.656 years and years and my first pregnancy actually, it was a year and a half 01:18:35.689 --> 01:18:39.357 , almost two years from the time where I went off birth control to the 01:18:39.390 --> 01:18:43.786 time I got pregnant. Um because I'd been on birth control for so many 01:18:43.819 --> 01:18:48.226 years and it just took my body that long to kind of and I think it was a 01:18:48.259 --> 01:18:53.286 stress thing too. Um I got, we got married in 2004. He wanted to have one 01:18:53.319 --> 01:18:56.765 year of. Absolutely, we're not going to have Children so that we can kind 01:18:56.798 --> 01:19:00.187 of have a honeymoon and, and you know, that that first year just as a 01:19:00.220 --> 01:19:04.265 couple and then we started actively having trying to have Children. And so 01:19:04.298 --> 01:19:07.687 I didn't get pregnant until 2006. 01:19:07.720 --> 01:19:14.786 Yeah, I went through that like quitting birth control and not using it. 01:19:14.819 --> 01:19:18.836 Yeah. What's wrong with me. What's wrong? Is it something wrong with him? 01:19:18.869 --> 01:19:22.805 Yeah. Yeah, there was a lot of that. 01:19:22.838 --> 01:19:30.838 Um, so, so, yeah, it, in, in, um, spring of 2015, I'm super busy sewing 01:19:31.289 --> 01:19:38.737 costumes. Uh, the older daughter is the carpet in Aladdin and she steals 01:19:38.770 --> 01:19:45.345 the show. Um, best carpet of all the different shows that were, um, they 01:19:45.378 --> 01:19:49.616 do a multi, um, group. So they have, over the course of three weeks, they 01:19:49.649 --> 01:19:53.777 have five different casts that are doing the shows. And, um, she was the 01:19:53.810 --> 01:19:59.976 best according to staff. Um, it was, it was phenomenal. We ended up 01:20:00.009 --> 01:20:05.817 through an odd turn of chain of events, um, tickets. We got tickets for 01:20:05.850 --> 01:20:11.476 free to Comic Con. So we did, but it was only a one adult ticket and two 01:20:11.509 --> 01:20:17.635 children's tickets. And so we didn't get to go as a family. But the plan 01:20:17.668 --> 01:20:21.256 was that I would take the girls on Friday and he would take the girls on 01:20:21.289 --> 01:20:26.487 Saturday and I would take them again on Sunday if we felt up to it. Um, so 01:20:26.520 --> 01:20:31.456 I went on Friday and, and, you know, it's all this hua blue and learning 01:20:31.489 --> 01:20:34.116 the ropes and figuring out where we're going and we rode the light rail 01:20:34.149 --> 01:20:38.567 down. So we didn't have to park and, and I'm, I'm tired at the end of the 01:20:38.600 --> 01:20:42.885 day, but of course, you're tired, you just walked six miles around all of 01:20:42.918 --> 01:20:46.737 the Comic Con facilities and you took all these pictures and everything 01:20:46.770 --> 01:20:51.987 and, and then Saturday comes up and he's down with an allergic reaction 01:20:52.020 --> 01:20:56.506 again. He can't see, his eyes are all puffy. So he can't take the girls to 01:20:56.539 --> 01:21:01.586 the Comic Con and they're like, we wanna go. And so I get myself all up. 01:21:01.619 --> 01:21:07.536 I've got a cup of coffee and away, we go to Comic Con and, and then of 01:21:07.569 --> 01:21:11.336 course Sunday, he's still coming down from his reaction. He's still 01:21:11.369 --> 01:21:14.967 dealing with Benadryl. So, and they're like, we wanna go back, we can go, 01:21:15.000 --> 01:21:17.976 we, you know, we can't waste, you know, of course, my, my girls are old 01:21:18.009 --> 01:21:23.987 enough now that they can use some of the same monetary um logic on me that 01:21:24.020 --> 01:21:29.726 I've used on them because um, I've, I've always, uh since, since I grew up 01:21:29.759 --> 01:21:34.126 , um my parents weren't very forthcoming about money. I was like, I'm not 01:21:34.159 --> 01:21:37.046 gonna be that way with my kids. My kids are gonna understand money and 01:21:37.079 --> 01:21:40.196 they're gonna understand why we live the way we live because of money 01:21:40.229 --> 01:21:46.406 issues. And um so they can use that money logic on me and they're like, we 01:21:46.439 --> 01:21:51.326 can't let this opportunity go to waste and it was free and you know how 01:21:51.359 --> 01:21:54.055 expensive these tickets are because I had just got done telling him like 01:21:54.088 --> 01:21:57.647 two weeks before we can't go to Comic Con with all of your friends because 01:21:57.680 --> 01:22:03.906 we can't afford the tickets. So, yeah, mom gets up, we go to Comic Con for 01:22:03.939 --> 01:22:10.496 a third day in a row. I am exhausted. I am down for a week. Um, the first 01:22:10.529 --> 01:22:18.529 week of June that year was just lost to me. And then it occurs to me that 01:22:19.798 --> 01:22:24.805 I'm probably, I might very well be pregnant. And so I go and I get, get a 01:22:24.838 --> 01:22:29.277 test and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm pregnant. What am I, how am I gonna 01:22:29.310 --> 01:22:35.256 tell Eric? Because we're in no better situation financially than we were 01:22:35.289 --> 01:22:39.857 last year. Blah, blah, blah, blah, 01:22:39.890 --> 01:22:46.076 I fret and stress over this for the next two weeks. 01:22:46.109 --> 01:22:50.437 And like I said, I was, and at this point, we're, you know, deep into 01:22:50.470 --> 01:22:55.777 summer, summer activities around our house since the girls are older are a 01:22:55.810 --> 01:23:00.687 flurry of activity. We've got swim, we've got bible school, we've got camp 01:23:00.720 --> 01:23:04.786 , we've got theater camp, you know, not all at the same time, but it's 01:23:04.819 --> 01:23:09.756 like back to, back to, back to, back to back. I am, I am just a chauffeur 01:23:09.789 --> 01:23:15.706 at this point and I'm exhausted and so I would chauffeur them to camp. I'd 01:23:15.739 --> 01:23:21.147 take a nap, I'd get the lunch done. I'd, you know, potentially have to 01:23:21.180 --> 01:23:25.456 take another nap before driving and getting the, you know, the three 01:23:25.489 --> 01:23:29.706 o'clock pick up and then we've got swim and blah, blah, blah, and I'm just 01:23:29.739 --> 01:23:34.446 exhausted. And so finally I break down and I'm in tears, I'm telling him 01:23:34.479 --> 01:23:38.376 that I'm pregnant and what are we gonna do and please don't freak out and 01:23:38.409 --> 01:23:44.515 he pops up with, I knew before Comic Con and I've just been waiting for 01:23:44.548 --> 01:23:49.095 you to tell me and I'm like, excuse me, you knew, when were you going to 01:23:49.128 --> 01:23:54.456 let me in on this little secret? Because I didn't know until after Comic 01:23:54.489 --> 01:23:59.647 Con when I was completely, just gutted, exhausted and just ridiculous. And 01:23:59.680 --> 01:24:04.506 he's like, well, but that's your job to tell me. And I'm like, I've been 01:24:04.539 --> 01:24:09.805 freaking out trying to figure out how to tell you because you freaked out 01:24:09.838 --> 01:24:14.406 the last time. And he's like, oh, well, you know, I'm kind of done 01:24:14.439 --> 01:24:19.206 freaking out and, but that's your job. He's all nonchalant and ha ha funny 01:24:19.239 --> 01:24:24.305 , funny and, and so then, you know, it, it start, we start telling people 01:24:24.338 --> 01:24:31.107 but we only tell a few people because again, it's still early and I spent 01:24:31.140 --> 01:24:33.976 probably the first 01:24:34.009 --> 01:24:41.187 half of Zachary's pregnancy waiting for the other shoe to drop. Um, I kept 01:24:41.220 --> 01:24:45.726 my distance from the pregnancy. I didn't, um, want to get married to it. I 01:24:45.759 --> 01:24:50.376 didn't want to get hurt that um, I was gonna lose another one because now 01:24:50.409 --> 01:24:56.107 I'm, now I'm 41 and I 01:24:56.140 --> 01:25:02.656 totally, you know, totally was thinking that I would, uh lose this one as 01:25:02.689 --> 01:25:07.326 well that this was gonna be. Um, and so we didn't tell a lot of people, we 01:25:07.359 --> 01:25:13.906 kept it a secret for the longest time. Um, I also was deathly afraid of 01:25:13.939 --> 01:25:19.515 the judgment that comes with after pregnancy after 40. And so I didn't 01:25:19.548 --> 01:25:25.876 want to tell certain people because I was like, um, and, and the same 01:25:25.909 --> 01:25:30.527 thing happened with the, with the miscarriage pregnancy. Um, I was at that 01:25:30.560 --> 01:25:34.946 40 I was afraid of what people would say to me about. Oh, well, don't you 01:25:34.979 --> 01:25:38.885 know how this happens, can't you take better care? You know, that, you 01:25:38.918 --> 01:25:43.536 know, 40 is like that magic, you know, horrible number that, that you have 01:25:43.569 --> 01:25:48.777 , you know, miss malformed Children. And so I was, I didn't tell people 01:25:48.810 --> 01:25:54.055 about that. I was pregnant. And so then people had a lot of like, oh, did 01:25:54.088 --> 01:25:56.546 you even know she was pregnant? And well, why would we worry about a 01:25:56.579 --> 01:25:59.357 miscarriage because we had no idea that she was pregnant, blah, blah, blah. 01:25:59.390 --> 01:26:04.616 So again, with this pregnancy, I didn't tell very many people and I did a 01:26:04.649 --> 01:26:10.626 whole lot of abdominal sucking in my gut for a long time because I started 01:26:10.659 --> 01:26:14.817 to show, but I would like suck it all in. So I wouldn't look that way 01:26:14.850 --> 01:26:18.217 around people, particularly my mother-in-law because we were still on like 01:26:18.250 --> 01:26:21.595 I've kept waiting again with her for that other shoe to drop, for me to go 01:26:21.628 --> 01:26:26.967 from being human to not human because it has already happened once. Um And 01:26:27.000 --> 01:26:30.726 so, uh I would, I would I do everything to hide it. You know, I was 01:26:30.759 --> 01:26:35.696 wearing extra baggy clothes and just, and and so then finally we were like 01:26:35.729 --> 01:26:41.226 , ok, it really, you know, we were, we were past the halfway point. Um It 01:26:41.259 --> 01:26:46.687 really looks like this is gonna stick like I'm gonna have this baby. And 01:26:46.720 --> 01:26:52.987 so I sought out a midwife that was willing to do a home birth and with, 01:26:53.020 --> 01:26:57.696 and, and I told her like my whole history, like I was GD with the first, 01:26:57.729 --> 01:27:03.067 I'm over 40 01:27:03.100 --> 01:27:09.647 say the words gestational diabetes just have that in the first day. I had 01:27:09.680 --> 01:27:15.796 been gestational diabetic with my first pregnancy. Um, looking back at the 01:27:15.829 --> 01:27:19.675 history, I was probably gestational diabetic with the second though, I 01:27:19.708 --> 01:27:24.296 didn't actually go through the testing. Um The reason that this submission 01:27:24.329 --> 01:27:29.756 is because she was over £9 at birth. We 01:27:29.789 --> 01:27:32.416 just going through all that. And I said, you know, is it even possible for 01:27:32.449 --> 01:27:35.836 me to have a home birth at this point? Is it possible to even, you know, 01:27:35.869 --> 01:27:40.135 is, is that even the realm of possibilities? And she's like, oh, totally, 01:27:40.168 --> 01:27:44.746 we don't have any protocols that keep us from, you know, attending it. 01:27:44.779 --> 01:27:47.906 It's still a normal birth just because you're older. We just, you know, 01:27:47.939 --> 01:27:51.027 keep a better, you know, keep a watch on you just the same as we would 01:27:51.060 --> 01:27:54.437 with anybody else. And, and she was concerned about the gestational 01:27:54.470 --> 01:28:00.265 diabetes. And so she did say if you're gonna work with me, you do have to 01:28:00.298 --> 01:28:05.946 take the test and we do have to make sure because I don't want to go 01:28:05.979 --> 01:28:13.979 through that, um, that potential, um, that we don't know. Um, and she was 01:28:15.029 --> 01:28:20.086 actually very forthcoming about a lot of the things that can happen that 01:28:20.119 --> 01:28:25.937 are not those horrible, terrible big baby things, but like the baby being 01:28:25.970 --> 01:28:31.786 addicted to the sugar and having a sugar crash and the sugar crash causing 01:28:31.819 --> 01:28:38.467 brain damage and, and those sorts of things. And I was like, oh, ok. And 01:28:38.500 --> 01:28:43.027 so those things actually made so much more sense than you're gonna have a 01:28:43.060 --> 01:28:46.076 big baby. You're gonna break their, you know, shoulders, blah, blah, blah 01:28:46.109 --> 01:28:50.296 , blah, blah, because at this point I knew that I could deliver a big baby 01:28:50.329 --> 01:28:58.048 because I had £9.05 or £9.02 ounces and she had a noggin that was massive. 01:28:58.628 --> 01:29:00.628 And so, so we had the, uh, of course, by the time I had started, um, my 01:29:05.958 --> 01:29:09.726 care with her, she's like, well, we're past the first trimester, so we're 01:29:09.759 --> 01:29:17.156 not gonna, gonna worry about any of those, um, late age producing, you 01:29:17.189 --> 01:29:21.635 know, the agenesis and things like that to look for Down Syndrome or, or 01:29:21.668 --> 01:29:26.717 any of those sorts of tests that happen, um, when you're, you know, 01:29:26.750 --> 01:29:32.366 advanced maternal age and, um, and she's like, and, and kind of looked at 01:29:32.399 --> 01:29:37.956 me like, what would you do anyway? And I said I would only be prepared to 01:29:37.989 --> 01:29:42.147 , to, you know, trying to prepare to, you know, deal with those sorts of 01:29:42.180 --> 01:29:48.607 things. Um, I wouldn't abort the baby. That's just not in my realm. Um, 01:29:48.640 --> 01:29:51.916 there are obviously stories out there of people who find out that, that 01:29:51.949 --> 01:29:57.796 they had a Down syndrome child and, you know, early on. And, um, so, so 01:29:57.829 --> 01:30:00.666 she was like, so, you know, why would we go through that anyway? And it's 01:30:00.699 --> 01:30:04.317 , we don't have to make that decision now because you're past the point of 01:30:04.350 --> 01:30:09.595 those tests being able to tell us anything. So we did do the gestational 01:30:09.628 --> 01:30:15.027 diabetic test. Um and in the midwife realm, um the first test is not drink 01:30:15.060 --> 01:30:20.717 a bottle of sugar water. Um She does the jelly bean test. Um The Brock 01:30:20.750 --> 01:30:24.336 candy has the right amount of sugar in their jelly beans and you eat 01:30:24.369 --> 01:30:27.015 certain, you know, certain number, I think it was like 15 or something. 01:30:27.048 --> 01:30:30.897 And then you do a finger stick and of course I failed, but I, but I had 01:30:30.930 --> 01:30:36.067 eaten good food and I failed. And so I was like, ok, so it's not, it 01:30:36.100 --> 01:30:41.546 wasn't just that I was a sugar addict in the first time around and she's 01:30:41.579 --> 01:30:44.987 like, well, you know, maybe your body just doesn't tolerate sugar. Let's 01:30:45.020 --> 01:30:51.987 let's do the three hour test because then we'll know for sure, for sure. 01:30:52.020 --> 01:30:56.805 And so that's one where, you know, I had to go in, I went to a testing 01:30:56.838 --> 01:31:03.296 facility and um you drink of super, super, like more concentrated than the 01:31:03.329 --> 01:31:07.996 first test, the second test is like this Uber super concentrated one and 01:31:08.029 --> 01:31:12.336 then they test you every hour for three hours. 01:31:12.369 --> 01:31:16.366 And she said that, um, she got the information back and she's like, no, 01:31:16.399 --> 01:31:22.055 you're gestational diabetic, but it's not so bad that you have to be on 01:31:22.088 --> 01:31:26.006 medication right now. Let's see if you can be diet controlled. 01:31:26.039 --> 01:31:30.956 Unfortunately, she's not, she wasn't a expert. So she was going through 01:31:30.989 --> 01:31:36.446 another nutritional individual expert. And so, and I, again, this is 01:31:36.479 --> 01:31:40.135 freaking me out because of course we're right back to square one with my 01:31:40.168 --> 01:31:45.406 first pregnancy. And so the midwife that I worked with in this, in this 01:31:45.439 --> 01:31:51.015 pregnancy, what she ended up doing a lot of this isn't going to be the 01:31:51.048 --> 01:31:53.717 second, you know, this isn't gonna be your first pregnancy. I am not gonna 01:31:53.750 --> 01:31:58.777 drop you. I'm not going to, um, 01:31:58.810 --> 01:32:06.357 um, I'm not going to abandon you. I'm not going to let this, uh, even if 01:32:06.390 --> 01:32:09.397 we end up in the hospital, I'm going to be there. I'm going to be your 01:32:09.430 --> 01:32:15.626 doula. I'm not going to do what she did to you. We're not going to go to 01:32:15.659 --> 01:32:18.366 another doctor. We're not going to go to a hospital on the other end of 01:32:18.399 --> 01:32:24.326 the earth. Um, you know, and so on so forth. And so we went through, I 01:32:24.359 --> 01:32:30.857 went through Christmas and diet controlled gestational diabetes. It was 01:32:30.890 --> 01:32:36.126 ridiculous. Um, I, I, 01:32:36.159 --> 01:32:42.277 I blew my numbers on Christmas Day because we just, we didn't plan the 01:32:42.310 --> 01:32:47.635 meal. Right. Um, but other than that I managed to go through and have 01:32:47.668 --> 01:32:55.277 pretty decent numbers. Um, she had a, had a trip planned and so she was 01:32:55.310 --> 01:33:01.406 out of country for two weeks. Um, in December. Um, luckily he, his, um, 01:33:01.439 --> 01:33:06.976 birth wasn't, um, his due date wasn't until the end of, of January. And so 01:33:07.009 --> 01:33:11.906 , um, it was, you know, we felt she was comfortable being out of the 01:33:11.939 --> 01:33:19.885 country. Um, and, and I had no, um, history of early, um, deliveries. So 01:33:19.918 --> 01:33:24.956 she was like, ok, and, and she had one of her, um, backup midwives come 01:33:24.989 --> 01:33:29.397 and see me and she's like, well, your numbers are kind of, you know, maybe 01:33:29.430 --> 01:33:33.046 she would be more comfortable with it. We'll let it ride for now. And so I 01:33:33.079 --> 01:33:35.726 was trying to control and of course, it was really stressful because I 01:33:35.759 --> 01:33:39.595 wanted, you know, um, she had already said if you can't control it with 01:33:39.628 --> 01:33:44.277 diet, if it has, if we have to control with medication, then we can't have 01:33:44.310 --> 01:33:48.555 a home birth, we have to go into the hospital. So I'm like, totally 01:33:48.588 --> 01:33:53.416 stressed and of course, stress is another thing that, that messes with 01:33:53.449 --> 01:33:58.305 sugar numbers. So I was already kind of, you know, it was like this. Now I 01:33:58.338 --> 01:34:03.607 had a wonderful friend who is diabetic and she did go through pregnancy 01:34:03.640 --> 01:34:07.086 with diabetes. And so she was trying, she's like, you know, these are the 01:34:07.119 --> 01:34:10.897 things that you're going to do this is how you're going to do this. And, 01:34:10.930 --> 01:34:15.397 and the worst part was that it was two different stories. You know, what, 01:34:15.430 --> 01:34:18.805 what worked for her and she's like diabetes and gestational diabetes when 01:34:18.838 --> 01:34:21.666 it comes right down to it, it's the same thing. It's a different name, but 01:34:21.699 --> 01:34:25.446 it's the same thing. And what I did is going to work for you. But then I 01:34:25.479 --> 01:34:30.586 was getting the information from the, from the nutritionist and the 01:34:30.619 --> 01:34:35.147 diabetic consultant and, and then they were conflicting informations. And 01:34:35.180 --> 01:34:39.607 so I'm trying to like do the middle ground and, and, and so, and I'm 01:34:39.640 --> 01:34:46.937 stressed out and so ultimately, in the last week of pregnancy with his 01:34:46.970 --> 01:34:52.317 pregnancy, she's like these numbers are too much. They're, they bounce 01:34:52.350 --> 01:35:00.350 around too much. We, you, you've got to go on um drugs and so then we were 01:35:00.418 --> 01:35:03.336 like, ok, no, then we got to go to the hospital and so then we got to 01:35:03.369 --> 01:35:11.369 transfer care. And so on the 23rd of January, I was in to see one of the 01:35:13.489 --> 01:35:18.706 midwives um with that would be able to deliver at this, the hospital that 01:35:18.739 --> 01:35:26.175 I had delivered my last delivery at and um, 01:35:26.208 --> 01:35:29.696 so we transferred care and I told them the whole story and the whole back 01:35:29.729 --> 01:35:34.187 story. Um and that's probably why I've rushed through some of it because 01:35:34.220 --> 01:35:40.027 I've had to tell the whole back story a few different times over the time. 01:35:40.060 --> 01:35:47.116 And so we got all of that and they did an ultrasound because of course, 01:35:47.149 --> 01:35:51.916 you know, now you're doing the, the size checking and they're like, no, 01:35:51.949 --> 01:35:58.866 he's tracking, um, with where he should be based on his age. Um, and, um, 01:35:58.899 --> 01:36:03.296 he doesn't look overly large, he looks large, but, you know, these 01:36:03.329 --> 01:36:07.647 ultrasounds at this late stage can be, you know, off, obviously, I knew 01:36:07.680 --> 01:36:09.836 that from the first one because they were telling me she was gonna be 01:36:09.869 --> 01:36:15.805 £10.5 and she was only £8 of delivery. So I knew that and, and I was like 01:36:15.838 --> 01:36:20.196 , well, you know, what is it at? And they're like, well, he's measuring £9 01:36:20.229 --> 01:36:24.546 and I'm like, really, that's actually pretty small and they're like, mm. 01:36:24.579 --> 01:36:27.476 And, and I told them, you know what the weights of the first two girls 01:36:27.509 --> 01:36:34.595 were and they were like, oh, well, ok. And, um, so we had the meeting with 01:36:34.628 --> 01:36:42.628 them and they're like, ok, well, we'll see you on Monday and, um, and at 01:36:42.680 --> 01:36:46.916 10 o'clock in the morning and I'm like, ok, we'll get another, another 01:36:46.949 --> 01:36:54.237 ultrasound and see where we're at and how are you? I'm in the 39th week. 01:36:54.270 --> 01:36:59.237 Um, yeah, because his due date was the 27th. Um, so it was the Thursday 01:36:59.270 --> 01:37:05.027 before on the 23rd that I had seen the, the midwife 01:37:05.060 --> 01:37:09.206 and, um, 01:37:09.239 --> 01:37:11.607 uh, 01:37:11.640 --> 01:37:17.675 like four days off your due date. Yeah. Yeah. So we were transferring care 01:37:17.708 --> 01:37:23.296 really late, really late. Um And, and, and that was the thing with his due 01:37:23.329 --> 01:37:28.095 date too. It kind of bounced around based on what calendar you were using 01:37:28.128 --> 01:37:32.226 or, or who was doing the calculation where originally when I had done, 01:37:32.259 --> 01:37:37.345 like went on the internet and found a pregnancy calculator, um they said 01:37:37.378 --> 01:37:44.107 that his due date was gonna be the 30th. And, um, and I was like, ok, and 01:37:44.140 --> 01:37:49.385 then I found a different calculator that took into account your cycle 01:37:49.418 --> 01:37:55.876 length. And it turned out that since I'd had my second child, my cycles 01:37:55.909 --> 01:38:00.515 were shorter. And so I had a, instead of a traditional 28 day cycle, I 01:38:00.548 --> 01:38:05.746 actually had a 24 day cycle and because of the cycle chain, the cycle 01:38:05.779 --> 01:38:11.357 length, um being shorter, his due date moved from the 30th to the 27th. 01:38:11.390 --> 01:38:16.305 Now the midwife, the way she calculates had always said his due date was 01:38:16.338 --> 01:38:22.906 the second of February. So, yeah, I had this big range and I was like, you 01:38:22.939 --> 01:38:27.385 know, ultimately babies come when they come. But I was like, I don't know 01:38:27.418 --> 01:38:35.418 when he's coming end of January is what I would tell people. And, um, so, 01:38:36.489 --> 01:38:41.777 so we went through that. But, um, and my s my s middle sisters, I'm the 01:38:41.810 --> 01:38:46.555 oldest of three girls. So my middle sister's birthday is the 23rd. And, um 01:38:46.588 --> 01:38:50.765 , so I wrote her on the b on, on the, on her Facebook page. I said so 01:38:50.798 --> 01:38:56.756 you're not gonna have a birthday twin. No. You know, and, and, um, and she 01:38:56.789 --> 01:39:00.576 was like, oh, well, you know, and she's more medical and so she's like, 01:39:00.609 --> 01:39:03.496 whoa, isn't it really early? And I'm like, oh, no, it's only like a week 01:39:03.529 --> 01:39:07.226 out and she's like, oh, ok. Well, I guess it would be ok if he came early 01:39:07.259 --> 01:39:10.706 and I was like, I was like, 01:39:10.739 --> 01:39:18.739 just one of those really. Um, and, and so there was that, um, also 01:39:19.739 --> 01:39:24.586 tracking with, with, um, the way that my body works and I was like, 01:39:24.619 --> 01:39:28.305 Halloween had come and went and I was like, oh, no contractions. Ok. Well 01:39:28.338 --> 01:39:31.946 , I guess that makes sense because he's due at the end of January. And 01:39:31.979 --> 01:39:38.342 sure enough, mid October, I started getting this across the front 01:39:38.375 --> 01:39:42.300 contraction stuff and I was like, ok, you know, normal for my body. Ok. 01:39:42.333 --> 01:39:46.680 One normal cause a lot of the things about this pregnancy were different. 01:39:46.713 --> 01:39:49.621 Like I kept saying that like over and over this is different from the 01:39:49.654 --> 01:39:53.152 last and, and everybody's like, oh, yeah. Well, of course, you know, um, 01:39:53.185 --> 01:39:57.076 every pregnancy is different. Um, and, and, and of course it's different. 01:39:57.109 --> 01:40:02.027 It's a boy but I kept countering that with. Yes, but the first, you know 01:40:02.060 --> 01:40:06.765 , six weeks, 18 weeks of the second pregnancy were way different from the 01:40:06.798 --> 01:40:10.546 first pregnancy. And I was convinced, absolutely convinced that my second 01:40:10.579 --> 01:40:16.237 daughter was a boy before the ultrasound. And I was, it was that big let 01:40:16.270 --> 01:40:21.345 down during the ultrasound. Oh, it's a girl because I had bought all this 01:40:21.378 --> 01:40:26.126 stuff for a boy too because I had found a great yard sale by. So I had all 01:40:26.159 --> 01:40:33.237 this boy stuff so I had to get rid of all of that. Um, on his back. You 01:40:33.270 --> 01:40:38.357 should be able to lay him down. Yes. Yeah. No, I mean, yeah, he's, he's 01:40:38.390 --> 01:40:44.857 probably out cold. He looks you should be able to lay him down 01:40:44.890 --> 01:40:48.675 cause I mean, I've moved him from the living room to the bedroom on his 01:40:48.708 --> 01:40:52.305 boppy. So he should, 01:40:52.338 --> 01:41:00.338 yeah, that's kind of what I end up doing too. 01:41:00.689 --> 01:41:06.027 Um So yeah, there was a lot of this is so different during this pregnancy. 01:41:06.060 --> 01:41:12.217 Um, but that was the, one of the few things that were, um, the same, 01:41:12.250 --> 01:41:16.635 maybe one of the few things that were the same was that this kind of 01:41:16.668 --> 01:41:23.326 started at the right time. Um, on top of that, I had picked up some part 01:41:23.359 --> 01:41:27.076 time work, um, during his pregnancy. I was actually one of the 01:41:27.109 --> 01:41:32.196 superintendents for the Arizona State Fair. And so I spent the 18 days of 01:41:32.229 --> 01:41:36.397 the Arizona State Fair, walking miles and miles. Thankfully, it was during 01:41:36.430 --> 01:41:41.135 my second trimester, the timing worked out and so everybody was like, oh, 01:41:41.168 --> 01:41:44.595 you're pregnant. Oh, should you be walking this much? I'm like walking is 01:41:44.628 --> 01:41:50.036 good, you know, getting the exercise is good. Um, and, and uh, you know, 01:41:50.069 --> 01:41:53.635 like I said, the timing worked out well. Unfortunately, I spent all that 01:41:53.668 --> 01:41:57.476 energy that you have during the second trimester on the fair instead of on 01:41:57.509 --> 01:42:02.147 cleaning the house or, you know, nesting. 01:42:02.180 --> 01:42:07.866 So the third trimester came along and it was, it was hard. Um, because I'm 01:42:07.899 --> 01:42:13.826 dealing with gestational diabetes, I'm tired. Um, and I'm like, oh, you 01:42:13.859 --> 01:42:17.777 know, I'm over 40 I'm so, you know, is, is this, do I feel this tired 01:42:17.810 --> 01:42:21.095 because I'm over 40 or do I feel this tired because it's pregnancy, it was 01:42:21.128 --> 01:42:26.147 like hard to get, hard to, um, uh, because of course, at this point, it's 01:42:26.180 --> 01:42:31.226 been six years since I'd been pregnant. So I didn't know I couldn't 01:42:31.259 --> 01:42:35.967 remember what, how tired or if I was tired during the third trimester, um 01:42:36.000 --> 01:42:39.246 , beforehand. 01:42:39.279 --> 01:42:46.055 So, um, we had had the doctor appointment, um, my midwife was there with 01:42:46.088 --> 01:42:50.996 me. She knew the doctors. She's like, you know, so they had like their kit 01:42:51.029 --> 01:42:54.067 thing going on during the appointment and I'm trying to get my information 01:42:54.100 --> 01:42:58.027 in there and she was giving them all the information that she had in her 01:42:58.060 --> 01:43:03.437 records and, um, and they were ok. Well, we'll get the, get everything 01:43:03.470 --> 01:43:07.666 electronically. Well, you can send it to us an email and everything and, 01:43:07.699 --> 01:43:15.116 um, on part of her plan, um, in, in, um, you know, signing a contract with 01:43:15.149 --> 01:43:21.536 her to do the birth with her. Um, it also came with four massage massages. 01:43:21.569 --> 01:43:25.515 She felt that it's super important for, you know, pregnant moms and to 01:43:25.548 --> 01:43:29.217 take care of themselves and to have that. So I was supposed to have three 01:43:29.250 --> 01:43:34.496 massages before, um, the birth and then an additional, um, you know, post 01:43:34.529 --> 01:43:40.265 , post, um, pregnancy massage for just take care of mommy and mommy time 01:43:40.298 --> 01:43:46.147 and she really, you know, felt that that was super important. And, um, so 01:43:46.180 --> 01:43:53.897 I had a massage scheduled for Sunday um the 24th and uh jokingly and I'm 01:43:53.930 --> 01:43:57.805 sure that the massage therapist took it as a joke. I don't think that she 01:43:57.838 --> 01:44:02.616 actually did anything but, you know, again, who do voodoo. Um I said, you 01:44:02.649 --> 01:44:05.885 know, there's these stories of the, these pressure points and things that 01:44:05.918 --> 01:44:10.866 you can get things going and I'm totally ok with that because his due 01:44:10.899 --> 01:44:15.286 dates like this week. So, you know, and there was some other like minor 01:44:15.319 --> 01:44:19.095 pressure too and I didn't wear it today. I was going, I was going to and I 01:44:19.128 --> 01:44:23.467 didn't um there's this whole story again with becoming a human with my 01:44:23.500 --> 01:44:30.515 mother-in-law. Um they had given my son uh or my son, my their son a ring 01:44:30.548 --> 01:44:34.946 for his, for him to give as an engagement ring. And I, and I got it and it 01:44:34.979 --> 01:44:39.937 was one of her heirlooms, it was a sapphire ring, it had a cornflower blue 01:44:39.970 --> 01:44:46.765 and two yellow sapphires on the side. So there's a three stone ring and um 01:44:46.798 --> 01:44:51.416 uh somewhere along the line over the years, one of the yellow stones had 01:44:51.449 --> 01:44:55.937 fallen out and it took us years. I told, it took me probably six months to 01:44:55.970 --> 01:45:00.437 tell my husband and then together it took us probably another year or two 01:45:00.470 --> 01:45:05.937 to tell her because, you know, they're like, you know, these parents and 01:45:05.970 --> 01:45:13.970 um, and so she had made some comments about it and, and um, we, she, when 01:45:14.399 --> 01:45:19.777 she found out his due date, she was like, well, you know, sapphires, 01:45:19.810 --> 01:45:24.317 September's birthstone. And because that's my first daughter and Garnett 01:45:24.350 --> 01:45:29.166 is January's birth stone. And wouldn't it be nice if you had 2 January 01:45:29.199 --> 01:45:32.317 babies? Because then I could replace those two sides stones and you could 01:45:32.350 --> 01:45:37.366 have a mommy ring and I was like, well, no pressure because at this point 01:45:37.399 --> 01:45:41.376 , his, his due date was the 30th. And then I found that other calculator 01:45:41.409 --> 01:45:44.487 and it made me feel better. I had, you know, I had a few extra days, I had 01:45:44.520 --> 01:45:49.067 the window. Um, but no pressure to have the baby during, you know, January 01:45:49.100 --> 01:45:53.305 at all. And, and so, 01:45:53.338 --> 01:45:56.376 um we, 01:45:56.409 --> 01:46:00.286 so then, you know, I'm like making this joke with the massage therapist, 01:46:00.319 --> 01:46:03.765 you know, by the way, and I didn't think she did anything different. So 01:46:03.798 --> 01:46:10.437 I'm pretty sure she didn't. Um But of course, my body's relaxed now and 01:46:10.470 --> 01:46:16.675 I'm still having these contractions, but I'm feeling like I'm so big, I'm 01:46:16.708 --> 01:46:23.506 so huge and I'm, um, you know, got all this tightness all the time. It 01:46:23.539 --> 01:46:26.885 feels like, like with the fir with the first time that this happened to me 01:46:26.918 --> 01:46:31.296 , there was like downtime between the contractions, but I felt like, oh 01:46:31.329 --> 01:46:35.006 God, there's just no downtime between these contractions. I'm always tight 01:46:35.039 --> 01:46:41.515 across my belly. Always. It's so draining and I'm so tired the week before 01:46:41.548 --> 01:46:46.006 we had just gotten finally done with the girls, um, performance for their 01:46:46.039 --> 01:46:50.006 theaters and they, they have performance on Thursday night and Saturday 01:46:50.039 --> 01:46:57.467 night opening and closing and it was, it was Saturday night and, uh, my 01:46:57.500 --> 01:47:00.717 girlfriend who runs the theater program and that's why I do so much 01:47:00.750 --> 01:47:06.217 costuming for them. Um, uh, she's like, are you doing ok, you know, you're 01:47:06.250 --> 01:47:08.305 pregnant, you're doing all this costuming. I'm like, you know what I'm 01:47:08.338 --> 01:47:11.406 sitting, it keeps my mind off of the fact that I'm going through this all 01:47:11.439 --> 01:47:16.406 these contractions. Um, she, her son is a year younger than my oldest 01:47:16.439 --> 01:47:22.746 daughter, but he's super boisterous and, and, and just kind of energy and 01:47:22.779 --> 01:47:28.317 arms and, and, and, you know, probably a DH D but undiagnosed and because 01:47:28.350 --> 01:47:33.376 it's so mild and, but he's just got all this energy and he's, and he's, um 01:47:33.409 --> 01:47:38.256 Saturday night after the performance, he's like here on my belly and I was 01:47:38.289 --> 01:47:42.376 like, initially I was like, oh my gosh, he's gonna like beat on me and, 01:47:42.409 --> 01:47:47.756 but no, he was like his hands and he was just like rubbing and like, hey, 01:47:47.789 --> 01:47:52.576 baby boy, I can't wait to meet you. You know, we're going to hang out and 01:47:52.609 --> 01:47:57.015 play Pokemon. And he's just, you know, and he was kind of like massaging 01:47:57.048 --> 01:48:00.857 and I was like, and I was, it was almost in tears because it felt so good 01:48:00.890 --> 01:48:05.567 and I was so proud of him because he was taking care and he was so excited. 01:48:05.600 --> 01:48:10.055 He was, he was just super excited about the baby to arrive. And, and more 01:48:10.088 --> 01:48:13.397 so I think, than my own girls, probably because we've had had had such a 01:48:13.430 --> 01:48:17.277 muted response to this pregnancy because again, it took me a long time to 01:48:17.310 --> 01:48:21.357 marry to the pregnancy because I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. 01:48:21.390 --> 01:48:24.656 And, and so I had to make this really concerted effort in the third 01:48:24.689 --> 01:48:28.996 trimester because again, I had focused all this energy on the fair and now 01:48:29.029 --> 01:48:33.546 in the third trimester, I had to focus on getting connected to the 01:48:33.579 --> 01:48:36.576 pregnancy because that was one of the things that the midwife is really 01:48:36.609 --> 01:48:39.385 concerned about too. She's like, are you really taking time to be 01:48:39.418 --> 01:48:44.836 connected to this? You really, you know, because yes, it's different, but 01:48:44.869 --> 01:48:48.845 you're focusing on the fair and now it's Christmas and the gestational 01:48:48.878 --> 01:48:53.586 diabetes. And, you know, you really need to be connected to this baby. And 01:48:53.619 --> 01:48:58.476 so I really needed to kind of focus in amongst everything else and the 01:48:58.509 --> 01:49:03.366 sewing for the theater and so forth to, to really be connected to him. And 01:49:03.399 --> 01:49:07.286 , um, and I was like, so do I need to worry about kick counts or any of 01:49:07.319 --> 01:49:11.196 that stuff? She's like, no, you're fine, you know, when he's moving and 01:49:11.229 --> 01:49:16.476 because he was much more, um, subtle about stuff, like the girls would get 01:49:16.509 --> 01:49:19.246 into a position and they would, like, stretch out and, like, push on my 01:49:19.279 --> 01:49:22.956 ribs and stuff. Like, he never did any of that. It was kind of weird. He 01:49:22.989 --> 01:49:29.187 was really much more laid back. But I knew when he was active and, um, and 01:49:29.220 --> 01:49:34.126 I didn't go through the scare. Um, the pre, like, birth scare, like, oh, 01:49:34.159 --> 01:49:42.159 you're not moving. Like, like when, um, he moved, he moved through all 01:49:42.609 --> 01:49:47.937 right up until the moment he arrived, I swear he was moving. And, um, so I 01:49:47.970 --> 01:49:55.737 was all relaxed on Sunday night and, and, um, I remember, um, going, you 01:49:55.770 --> 01:49:59.326 know, it was just a normal Sunday night. We were all done with sewing. I 01:49:59.359 --> 01:50:02.237 didn't have any last minute sewing because she was still having one more 01:50:02.270 --> 01:50:06.675 week of shows. Or no, she had two more weeks of shows because the girls 01:50:06.708 --> 01:50:11.296 were in the first week. So we, I was all done with my sewing part and I 01:50:11.329 --> 01:50:14.647 had kind of just disengaged from that and we were like, ok, you know, the 01:50:14.680 --> 01:50:17.996 baby's gonna come, just kind of looking around going, well, I don't have 01:50:18.029 --> 01:50:20.916 to worry about cleaning the house because we're not having the baby here, 01:50:20.949 --> 01:50:25.925 but we should probably pack the bag because, you know, it's this week we 01:50:25.958 --> 01:50:28.666 should have the hospital bag ready to go. And so we were kind of going 01:50:28.699 --> 01:50:31.916 through stuff, picking out the clothes and, you know, grabbing, you know, 01:50:31.949 --> 01:50:35.656 thinking about what I we hadn't, we picked out like we got everything for 01:50:35.689 --> 01:50:39.897 the baby pack, but we hadn't packed stuff for me yet and for him and we 01:50:39.930 --> 01:50:43.876 kind of had a plan and we had a loose plan in place for the girls so that 01:50:43.909 --> 01:50:48.237 they could stay overnight. I had their bag packed um for them to be able 01:50:48.270 --> 01:50:50.765 to go to school or if it happened on the weekend. So they had like a 01:50:50.798 --> 01:50:55.567 double bag packed, um and they were going to go stay with a friend who 01:50:55.600 --> 01:51:01.317 went to school with them. So I had like um packed some extra um like 01:51:01.350 --> 01:51:05.015 activity books and stuff so that and brand new so that all three of them 01:51:05.048 --> 01:51:09.357 could like work on stuff that was new and different and not just, you know 01:51:09.390 --> 01:51:13.175 , she was having friends over, but she didn't get anything out of the deal. 01:51:13.208 --> 01:51:16.666 And so, you know, there was books for all three of them so they could all 01:51:16.699 --> 01:51:20.885 work on neat stuff while you know, they were staying over because their 01:51:20.918 --> 01:51:24.147 parents were in the hospital with a baby boy with a brand new baby and 01:51:24.180 --> 01:51:28.696 stuff. So they were all packed the baby was packed, we were still working 01:51:28.729 --> 01:51:32.277 on getting stuff packed for me. 01:51:32.310 --> 01:51:35.717 And at this point I was pretty much on a schedule. Like I would wake up 01:51:35.750 --> 01:51:39.586 middle of the night. Have to go pee. Um, you know, and then get back to 01:51:39.619 --> 01:51:44.866 sleep. And, um, it was, you know, the normal wake up in the middle of the 01:51:44.899 --> 01:51:49.786 night. It was like two, somewhere between two and 230 I kind of groggily 01:51:49.819 --> 01:51:54.967 go off to the bathroom and I pee and I'm like, huh, that's really 01:51:55.000 --> 01:52:03.000 interesting. I'm done peeing. But there's still water coming out. I wonder. 01:52:03.048 --> 01:52:11.048 Mm. Ok. Back to the, back to, you know, bed and, and I go back to sleep 01:52:11.609 --> 01:52:14.996 and I'm like, ok, you know, and, and I kind of wake up and I'm like, oh, 01:52:15.029 --> 01:52:21.706 those contractions are a little more, more. I go back to sleep and I wake 01:52:21.739 --> 01:52:28.616 up and, huh. Hm. I wonder, I wonder if that was my water breaking, you 01:52:28.649 --> 01:52:32.675 know? And then it's like five o'clock, the alarm goes off and, and I'm 01:52:32.708 --> 01:52:40.708 like, huh, these are stronger and stronger. Who, and I say to my husband, 01:52:42.989 --> 01:52:46.857 I'm like, you're not going to work today and he's like, I'm not, I'm like 01:52:46.890 --> 01:52:50.015 , no, I think you need to start timing. Oh, I'm gonna roll over. But just 01:52:50.048 --> 01:52:56.317 like, no, honey, you need to time. Oh, ok. Well, should I use your phone? 01:52:56.350 --> 01:53:00.576 And I said, well, don't you have a timer on your phone and, and he's like 01:53:00.609 --> 01:53:05.576 , ok. Yeah. Ok, I'm awake, I'm awake. Well, but I really want to nap 01:53:05.609 --> 01:53:10.607 because I took some Benadryl last night. I'm like, you're serious. This is 01:53:10.640 --> 01:53:13.726 the third time around and you're going to tell me you have an allergic 01:53:13.759 --> 01:53:19.796 reaction. It's like I'm awake, let me get a shower. Ok. I'll be awake and 01:53:19.829 --> 01:53:23.607 , and I don't even, I cannot, at this point I can't remember if he got a 01:53:23.640 --> 01:53:29.836 shower or not. Um, because we were like, and then so we, so we wake up the 01:53:29.869 --> 01:53:34.437 midwife and we're like, ok, so this is where we're at and she's like, ok, 01:53:34.470 --> 01:53:39.675 well, I think you're ok based on previous, you've probably got six hours 01:53:39.708 --> 01:53:43.930 or so, you're, you're, you know, they're of apart. You're probably gonna 01:53:43.963 --> 01:53:48.031 make your midwife appointment at 10 o'clock this morning. We'll just go to 01:53:48.064 --> 01:53:51.232 that appointment and then transition right from there. Get you checked 01:53:51.265 --> 01:53:54.821 into the hospital. It'll be this great, wonderful transition. Have the 01:53:54.854 --> 01:54:00.116 baby probably before noon, you know, no big deal. 01:54:00.149 --> 01:54:05.237 And so we're getting the girls ready for school. I text her the friend and 01:54:05.270 --> 01:54:09.286 I said, you know, I'm thinking that it's probably not a good idea for me 01:54:09.319 --> 01:54:13.946 to go north to 59th and Bell to turn around to drop them off at school. 01:54:13.979 --> 01:54:16.826 You should probably come and pick them up and take them to school because 01:54:16.859 --> 01:54:21.576 the hospital's south that we're going to go to and, and she's like, ok, 01:54:21.609 --> 01:54:26.226 you know, so, and I texted my girlfriend, I have a girlfriend who has, um 01:54:26.259 --> 01:54:32.126 , uh, adopted two kids and they're the same age as my older daughter. Um, 01:54:32.159 --> 01:54:36.817 but, but hasn't, uh, through her own life circumstances, not ever been 01:54:36.850 --> 01:54:39.976 able to be pregnant and not ever had to. And she had asked me early on, 01:54:40.009 --> 01:54:42.656 she's like, don't have to say yes. And I said, well, I won't know until 01:54:42.689 --> 01:54:45.897 the day of because again, we were gonna be at home and we were still 01:54:45.930 --> 01:54:49.015 getting, still trying to decide if the girls were gonna be even able to 01:54:49.048 --> 01:54:52.616 come to be at the birth because the midwife and her student were like, oh 01:54:52.649 --> 01:54:54.987 , they'll handle it just fine. And I'm like, I don't know, you know, 01:54:55.020 --> 01:54:58.836 because I get kind of ugly when I'm, you know, going through labor. And, 01:54:58.869 --> 01:55:04.527 um, so, so I had texted my girlfriend saying, well, you know, I think 01:55:04.560 --> 01:55:06.737 we're going to have it today. So, you know, we're probably going to be 01:55:06.770 --> 01:55:09.796 heading to the hospital soon. So you probably want to head to the hospital 01:55:09.829 --> 01:55:12.996 and meet us there because she was, I was ok at this point, I'm going to be 01:55:13.029 --> 01:55:16.956 at the hospital. Everybody else is going to see me a lot. Hersey. And so, 01:55:16.989 --> 01:55:20.906 um, I was, we were going to be at the hospital to have the birth and, and 01:55:20.939 --> 01:55:27.256 , and she said, ok, you know, and, and, uh, uh, I'm, I'm laboring through 01:55:27.289 --> 01:55:31.956 this and it's, and I had, um, because we were going to do a home birth and 01:55:31.989 --> 01:55:35.866 it had been the late transfer, my mother-in-law again because now I'm a 01:55:35.899 --> 01:55:40.036 person had given me one of the Bradley books and I had flipped through it 01:55:40.069 --> 01:55:43.055 and I was like, oh, well, I didn't do that and, you know, you know, didn't 01:55:43.088 --> 01:55:45.836 prepare for all that because it was so late that she had given me the book 01:55:45.869 --> 01:55:49.046 and I didn't really think about it that I needed to like, do exercises and 01:55:49.079 --> 01:55:52.536 things like that. But there's some things that you just do normally when 01:55:52.569 --> 01:55:55.116 you're pregnant at that point, you know, you're sitting cross legged 01:55:55.149 --> 01:55:58.726 because that's the only way you're comfortable and, and all those stretch 01:55:58.759 --> 01:56:03.726 and, and all that ends up stretching out those muscles anyway. And so I 01:56:03.759 --> 01:56:07.885 had just read through it like the day before because I was like, all, um, 01:56:07.918 --> 01:56:11.206 relaxed and I was like, well, I'll read through this just to make sure 01:56:11.239 --> 01:56:14.675 that I've got in my mind for, you know, the birth process. It's going to 01:56:14.708 --> 01:56:18.946 be this week. We're gonna, you know, and, and I want to have, you know, a 01:56:18.979 --> 01:56:22.527 totally, like, completely unmedicated. I don't want to have to have 01:56:22.560 --> 01:56:28.925 anything. Um, we, uh ended up through all the rigmarole missing the 01:56:28.958 --> 01:56:34.595 opportunity to take the strep test. So I was now going to be an unknown 01:56:34.628 --> 01:56:38.156 and, and the midwives that we were transferring to. They were like, yeah, 01:56:38.189 --> 01:56:43.156 we're totally fine with unknown. It's not a big deal. Um And the longer 01:56:43.189 --> 01:56:47.496 you're at home, the shorter amount of time that we have the ability to 01:56:47.529 --> 01:56:52.717 even get an IV in you. So we can't give you antibiotics if it comes close 01:56:52.750 --> 01:56:57.956 enough to your arrival at the hospital. And I'm like, oh, and so they were 01:56:57.989 --> 01:57:01.246 on board with it because they're midwives and they're, you know, and even 01:57:01.279 --> 01:57:04.866 the hospital midwives are still like, let's figure out ways that we can 01:57:04.899 --> 01:57:10.937 give you the best experience that you want. And so I had texted my midwife 01:57:10.970 --> 01:57:14.916 who was originally gonna be my homebirth midwife and, and she's like, ok, 01:57:14.949 --> 01:57:18.376 you know, you're progressing, you're fine. We, you know, don't go to the 01:57:18.409 --> 01:57:21.055 hospital yet and I'm like, well, the girls aren't out of the house yet. So 01:57:21.088 --> 01:57:28.467 , um and um and I'm laboring at home but there's getting, it's getting, 01:57:28.500 --> 01:57:32.885 you know, harder and the only place that I'm um comfortable is on all 01:57:32.918 --> 01:57:37.135 fours. I'm either hunched leaning over something or on all fours. Um We 01:57:37.168 --> 01:57:41.006 had had onions the night before for something or other and I had this 01:57:41.039 --> 01:57:45.987 onion scent on my hands. And so I'm like, and, and I'm trying to, and I'm 01:57:46.020 --> 01:57:49.296 leaning down and I'm on my hands and I'm like, oh my God, I can't deal 01:57:49.329 --> 01:57:53.916 with this onion smell. And so I'm in the kitchen trying to wash the onion 01:57:53.949 --> 01:57:57.956 smell off my hands and I'm like, the contractions are getting a little 01:57:57.989 --> 01:58:03.845 closer together and, and, um, and I hadn't, I hadn't showered the night 01:58:03.878 --> 01:58:08.737 before and so I was convinced that I had to have a shower and so the girls 01:58:08.770 --> 01:58:14.156 are, their ride to school finally arrives. It's like 715, 01:58:14.189 --> 01:58:18.305 720 somewhere in there. And they, and, and, and I'm in the bathroom 01:58:18.338 --> 01:58:21.826 getting ready to get in the shower and they came to the bedroom door and 01:58:21.859 --> 01:58:25.595 normally they give me hugs and kisses. Goodbye. Um, or, you know, we do it 01:58:25.628 --> 01:58:30.277 in the car at the in the driveway of the, of the school and, and they came 01:58:30.310 --> 01:58:35.777 to the door and they're like, bye mom and, and I'm like, ok, bye and, and 01:58:35.810 --> 01:58:40.397 uh kind of, it kind of hurt a little bit. I remember feeling like they 01:58:40.430 --> 01:58:43.036 don't even want to get close enough to give me a hug and a kiss, you know 01:58:43.069 --> 01:58:46.576 , because I'm like, so, you know, I'm moaning and groaning and going 01:58:46.609 --> 01:58:51.737 through, you know, labor and, and um, and I was like, oh, well, you know, 01:58:51.770 --> 01:58:54.536 they're just scared and we really didn't have time to explain the whole 01:58:54.569 --> 01:58:57.296 thing to them because of course we had just woken up at five, we gotten 01:58:57.329 --> 01:59:00.756 them up at quarter to six. They went through, you know, they had their 01:59:00.789 --> 01:59:04.397 breakfast and da da da and got ready for school. Dad had to help them more 01:59:04.430 --> 01:59:09.385 than normal because uh, you know, and, and so they're like, bye mom and 01:59:09.418 --> 01:59:14.296 I'm like, ok, bye and, and I get in the shower and he's timing it and, and 01:59:14.329 --> 01:59:18.126 he's like, honey, they're getting closer together and, and I'm like, but 01:59:18.159 --> 01:59:23.416 the water feels so good and, oh, ok. I got my hair washed. Uh, ok. I've 01:59:23.449 --> 01:59:28.107 got my conditioner in my hair and, and then the phone rings and he's like 01:59:28.140 --> 01:59:31.647 he's talking to the midwife and she's like, so where are you at? And he's 01:59:31.680 --> 01:59:33.967 like giving him giving her the update. She's like you guys need to be in 01:59:34.000 --> 01:59:38.116 the ho on the road to the hospital now and, and I, and you're not gonna 01:59:38.149 --> 01:59:42.116 make that 10 o'clock appointment and, and I was like, oh really? And, and 01:59:42.149 --> 01:59:45.277 she's like, oh no, you need to get going now. And I'm like, well, I'm 01:59:45.310 --> 01:59:50.675 getting out of the shower and I'm trying to dry off and they're so close 01:59:50.708 --> 01:59:54.586 together that it's like dry off one leg, you know, dry off the other leg 01:59:54.619 --> 01:59:58.527 contraction trying to get my back. I couldn't get my hair. I was like, I 01:59:58.560 --> 02:00:02.746 didn't have strength anymore because they were coming so fast and furious 02:00:02.779 --> 02:00:06.765 and, and then we get out of the bathroom and I'm on the bed and I'm like, 02:00:06.798 --> 02:00:09.467 honey, we're not gonna make it to the hospital and he's like, yes, we are 02:00:09.500 --> 02:00:15.217 , we're gonna be fine. And for instead of throwing on a nightgown, I'm 02:00:15.250 --> 02:00:21.845 like shirt underwear socks, you know, lounge pants because we're going to 02:00:21.878 --> 02:00:26.067 make it to the hospital. Right. And, and I've got my slippers on and I've 02:00:26.100 --> 02:00:29.476 got a short sleeve shirt and it's brisk out. I knew that much because I 02:00:29.509 --> 02:00:34.385 had felt the door, I felt it in the doorway and, and so we're trying to 02:00:34.418 --> 02:00:36.805 get out of the house and I'm like, I need something to cover up and I 02:00:36.838 --> 02:00:42.166 grabbed a blanket, um, off the bed and kind of wrapped up in that because 02:00:42.199 --> 02:00:44.897 I was like, I'm, you know, and I've got a towel on my head. He's like, 02:00:44.930 --> 02:00:48.385 what are we going to do about your hair? I'm like, it doesn't matter. And 02:00:48.418 --> 02:00:53.425 so when I'm like, honey, I can't be in the front seat, I can't sit, I have 02:00:53.458 --> 02:00:56.515 to be in the back because I'm, I'm on, I, the only place that I feel 02:00:56.548 --> 02:01:02.876 comfortable is on all fours. He's like, oh, ok. And, and, um, we keep 02:01:02.909 --> 02:01:06.616 blankets in the car for the girls because they're like me, they're really 02:01:06.649 --> 02:01:12.027 , um, they're lizards, they are cold blooded and so he needs the air 02:01:12.060 --> 02:01:14.786 conditioning on. So the car will get so cold and they'll wrap up in a 02:01:14.819 --> 02:01:19.006 blanket. So we've got these blankets in the car for the girls and, and I'm 02:01:19.039 --> 02:01:22.866 like, just get the baby, just get their booster seats out of the way. I've 02:01:22.899 --> 02:01:25.675 got this blanket that I wrapped up in and I'll lay that down because we've 02:01:25.708 --> 02:01:29.305 got, we've got leather in the car. I lay that down and so that I don't 02:01:29.338 --> 02:01:33.345 have to have, you know, kid Schmutz all over my arms while I'm in the car 02:01:33.378 --> 02:01:37.506 and I'm just going to get down. And so we pushed the, the passenger seat 02:01:37.539 --> 02:01:41.467 way forward so that I could be on the floor, um, on my hands and knees and 02:01:41.500 --> 02:01:45.376 I've got a blanket underneath of me because the girls blankets are there. 02:01:45.409 --> 02:01:50.406 So I'm not like on my knees on the floorboards and, and I'm, you know, I'm 02:01:50.439 --> 02:01:56.437 laboring in the car and he's driving and I'm like, why are we on Dunlap? 02:01:56.470 --> 02:01:59.647 We're supposed to be down on Bethany home. And he's like, what do you mean 02:01:59.680 --> 02:02:03.305 ? And, and I'm like, well, that's where the hospital were going. And we 02:02:03.338 --> 02:02:09.696 had been in a car accident like three years prior and because the hospital 02:02:09.729 --> 02:02:16.296 that um the, the midwife, she was caught between two hospitals when with 02:02:16.329 --> 02:02:24.329 the previous delivery, with my second child, in his mind, the accident and 02:02:24.569 --> 02:02:30.987 the delivery had transposed and, and the hospitals had like transposed. 02:02:31.020 --> 02:02:35.576 And so he thought we were going to the one on Dunlap where we had been for 02:02:35.609 --> 02:02:39.586 the accident and not the delivery. 02:02:39.619 --> 02:02:45.027 And I thought that, and I thought we had discussed it that we were going 02:02:45.060 --> 02:02:50.006 to the hospital in Bethany Hall. And so instead, you know, and this is 02:02:50.039 --> 02:02:58.039 like 745 we're rolling out of the house or in that time period. And he is 02:02:59.009 --> 02:03:03.696 on adrenaline just the same as the rest of us. And, and so he's driving 02:03:03.729 --> 02:03:06.976 and he's going to go to the highway because that's the fastest way to get 02:03:07.009 --> 02:03:11.256 to the hospital now because we've established that it's not on Dunlap, 02:03:11.289 --> 02:03:17.027 it's on Bethany home. Why are we going to the highway during rush hour in 02:03:17.060 --> 02:03:23.326 between, you know, moaning and groaning over contractions? And he's like, 02:03:23.359 --> 02:03:27.107 because the highway is the fastest. I'm like, honey, it's raj hour and 02:03:27.140 --> 02:03:32.906 we're going to go south, go south on any street but the highway, well, 02:03:32.939 --> 02:03:37.836 we've passed 35th Avenue. I have to take the frontage road. Ok. V are we 02:03:37.869 --> 02:03:43.286 there yet? Because the baby's coming and he's like, no, no, hold it in. 02:03:43.319 --> 02:03:48.647 And I'm like, I can't and, and, um, of course, I had gone through the 02:03:48.680 --> 02:03:53.336 other stages too where, you know, these beautiful stages where you and I 02:03:53.369 --> 02:03:56.487 can't remember what they are now, but I remember like, I just read about 02:03:56.520 --> 02:04:00.376 these stages of birth and, you know, where you, you have all the 02:04:00.409 --> 02:04:05.067 confidence and then you suddenly have no confidence. And, and when I had 02:04:05.100 --> 02:04:10.376 washed my hands with because of the onions, I was like, oh, ok. You know, 02:04:10.409 --> 02:04:14.378 I can deal with this and, and then I was inthe