Agriculture m ajors w on't sp ASU farm proposal flying high B j C liH n G n k b ir Acknowledging the total defeat of its attempt to abolish the ASU agricu ltura l program , the Arizona Bored e f Rejects approved a plan Monday to grow Irighgrade m arijuana fa r com m ercial sale at A SU ’a ex­ perim ental farm . Rejects’ executive coordinator Bobby B lu ff said the proposal received unanimous approval at the M arch Si bored meeting' “ We feel this w ill be an excellent way to augment ASU’s budget,” B lu ff squealed. “ Hopefully, the b ill to push pot to cancer patients w ill pass. Than we can cor­ ner a ll the beepital pharm acies in the V a lle y ." Reject Rowdy Dum bbell said the bored got tired of trying to wipe out the agriculture department at ASU, and decided instead to try to “ fix it up” by cultivating vast acreage of the famed “ M aui Wowie.” “ Even though we always favor U A , we’d rather switch than fight, ” Dum bbell opined. “ I drink it w ill work out re ally w ell. And besides, we (the rejects) w ill get a discount on bags, which w ill be outasight, because Wowie can be hard to get around * ---- It DBfc. Agriculture deportment chairm an Pritch ard K a iltest said he ia excited about the program, adding students who work at the term a rt “ inspired” by reject support. “ We a ll tWnk it ’s grant,” F aiitest said. “ The eg students are high on the idee, because in paysaant far physical labor they w ill be guaranteed a ll the smoke they want—as long as their work doesn’t slack off.” Faiitest said the firs t seeds w ill be planted today. “ We hope to reap an enormous harvest in the fa ll,” be added. Chalquest and B lu ff said It baa not yet been deter­ mined whether ASU students w ill be allowed to purchase pot from the farm . “ It’s highly doubtful,” B lu ff said. “ We hope to sell most of it to the public so we can make as much money a t possible. W ith the obligatory discounts to faculty and legislators, we would lose money if we offered it to students.” tuesday A p r i l i , 1980 stale m ess Tem po, A riso n a VoL62, No. 9S Arizona State University Off the deep end Ceptaki Jack Qoosstas and LaFeet Qsnaetos In a m ie ria lt lo ASU eaploied the uncharted depths o< the Cady MaN fountain In search ef oeedious tootle (coed feet) Monday. Their m ission w ill bo broadcast April S i, an the Public BroadeaeUng System. e Copyright, Stale Pram, ISSO A SU sold; Wazoo to reign at Universrtyland B y D issy GHtospte ASU hae beee purcbaeod in tfa sn tirety by W alt Disney rrm h rtlfa e Inc., and as of today w ill be known as Universityland, tbe gtala Mam hea toarned. John W. Scbwnstflta, farm or ASU preaktoot, cefafarated M s new Position aa the Grand Waxoo of U atversityland today by dtotribotiag fase sno-conoa an Yellow B rid iR o e d E a a ttfo rm o rlyC a d y M all.) Düring the dedtoetton ceram ontoa, viaitors wäre allowod to shaka handsw ith Disney C h a ra d e n M lckay Meuse, Donald Duck xn d a new m em boraf Tempe’afantasy fam ily, Bwucey Wabbit. Wazoo eaid be batievea tha Diaaay takeever w ill be a srooothana, adding “ th sea hhh bove b e i Bvtag in Fantoeywarid fa rm fang they’U m varhnow the düfarence.” Wazoo ehrimad Ma um of aseret fifaa sutHning the off—duty naltvWim a f iiiim b sra aU heatote Lagtolature and the Bered of Rejeeto aa M s ifw isir toola was “ necessary to maxe those bimbos see how much nicer Ufa w ill be in UM vorxityland than it was at dumb old ASU. “ They thought the idea was a little looney at first, but after I threatened to kiss and ta il—uh, I mean tail a ll they sesmad to w arm up to it,’ ’ Wazoo said. Tha form er ASU chief executive said tha o fficial reason for the sale of tbe Univerxty’s buildings, grounds, staff and students to Disney Productions was given as “ fin an cial insolvency.” “ But I m ay as w ell s p ill the beans now that I’ve been appoin ted Grand Waxoo far Ufa,” bo chortled. “ I just couldn’t stand those whiney college students one more minute! i«g that nut farm was a 37,000-volt pain hi the am .” Waaaa sahl Mams f sang pesple aha farm arly attended desses a t the dsfuaet ASU ceuld stay on as guides and groundskeepers, but he added “ th ey'll have to d e a r out of the dorms pronto so we can pack those gullible w inter visitors in there and start fillin g up my private piggy barik.” Universityland spokesman and assistant to the Grand Wazoo Beige D ulleullen said work already is under way to tram farm Tem ps Butte into a ro ller coaster not unlike Disneyland's Space Mountain. “ W e plan to have the little cars hurtle around the butte three or four tim es and then fly right off into oncoming tra ffic,” Dullsulten said. Other projects include covering whet was once Fun D evil Stadium with a giant geodesic dome, equipping it w ith spontonemu jet propulsion and taking indivkkial groups of 73,013 to view specagames competition with other planets ia Universitytand's conference. “ ft’s the fin al frontier,” DuUsullen sighed ByDfaSaMrifaer Financial aids wins approval of budget plan Ia a last-ditch effort to corno ap w ith |W ,M» ia iiilse|Hirci|w1etori government loans, the ASU Fin a n cia l Aldo O ffice has annoaaced it w ill sponsor a raffle in an attempt to cover ito tosen. Dewey Swappar, director of financial aids, said prism w ill includa six tuition w aivers, three B a ric Ediw ettf— 11 Opportunity Granfa and two abortfarm fanas. “ It’s tha only tiring toft to do,’ ’ Swapper said. “ Tha car wash and hnhs sale we sponsored last weak sn ly jratosd W7.” Last spring, tha affina ar r onaouoly dated sut 1*7,000 la loam In tha guvarnmaot sponsored C rim in al ltahabUitettonActtoa Program . Swappar m id tho government has told ASU that It hm two weoha to return aU of ito C R A P money or the Mattonai Guard w ill he oont in. “ We bagged far aa extension,” Swappar said. “ We pranfaad it would never happen again. But they wouldn't listen. ” R affle tickets, wlrich can be bought for S3 at Mathews Canter, go on sale today. Swapper «aid tbe drawing wttl be held sometime in May, so win­ ning students w ill be able to use their prizes to pay next fa il’a tuition. R affle tickets were scheduled to go on sale last weak, but the sale had to be postponed when a financial aids officer mistook the tickets far food stomps and gave them out, free of charge, to students who happened to be passing by. “That’s a il been straightened out,’’ Swapper said. “ And the officer who made that m istake has bean rem aigm d to our AJo bureau. ” Today Classes tom down Mick Jsggsr to star for parking lots at Gam mage Pag* 3 Pagato Frank Kush rehired Pegs 17 P a s* 2 S ta le M ess Tuesday, A p ril 1,1900 newsbriefly Poll predicts puzzler In the from the A ssociated M ess H O S T A G E S IN IRAN TO B E R E LE A S E D T E H R A N — M ilta n t student« holding the A m erican em bassy sa id they w ould release the 50 hostag es later th is.w e e k, d e sp ite a C a rter ad m in istratio n order the Shah not be returned. The te rro rists said they w ould a c­ ce p t G eorge Bum a instead. B urns said he w as lo o kin g forw ard to the trip. "There are a few 15 year o ld g irts there I haven't m et yet,” B u m s said. JU N E C L E A V E R D EAD A T 36 M A Y F IE LD — Ju n e Cleaver, m other o f Beaver C leaver, w as found dead in her subur­ ban hom e M onday. H er body w as discovered at 9 a.m., le g s neatly fo ld ed at the ankles. A policem an on the scen e w ould not im ­ m ediately reveal the cause o f death, but later adm itted sh e had been strangled w ith her ow n cu ltu red pearls. Beaver said, “ D oes th is m ean she w on't m ake lu n ch to day?" C A R T E R S A Y S N O D IVO R CE FR O M R O S A LYN N W A SH IN G TO N — Presid ent C arter said M onday there is no truth to the rum or that he is d ivo rcin g F irst Lady R osalynn. "W hen I sa id I 'lu ste d in m y heart' I m eant R osalyn w ould get a little to o ,” he said. R osalynn had no com m ent from her p o o lsid e perch at the Bon M arche in Reno, except to say her next cam paign stop w ould be H yannis Port. K E N N E D Y PR O M ISE S TO STA Y IN R A C E H Y A N N IS PO RT, M ass. — Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-M ass., said M onday 86 straig ht prim ary de fea ts w ere not reason enough to drop out from h is D em ocratic p resid en tial cam paign. "I’m o ffe rin g A m erican s a real altern ative to that peanut farm er," Kennedy said. W hen asked how he lo st m ore prim aries then there w ere state s w ith presidential preference votes, Kennedy answ ered, “ it's th o se dam ned fo reig n ers.” R E A G A N C O U LD R ETU R N TO H O LLYW O O D L O S A N G E L E S — Form er G overnor Ronald Reagan sa id he w ould return to h is film career if he lo se s the p re sid e n tial e le ctio n in Novem ber. The one-tim e acto r reportedly has sig n e d a deal w ith Param ount P ictu re s, w ho already bought the screen rig h ts to Reagan’s new book “ I W as R ipped O ff By C onn ivin g D em ocrats." Dorn De L u isa has sig ned to play Jim m y Carter. A N D E R S O N VO W S TO S T A R T TH IRD PA R TY W A SH IN G TO N — Rep. Jo h n Anderson, R(?)-lll., sa id M onday he w ould start a th ird party if not given the top sp o t on the R epublican b a llo t in Novem ber. "If that d o esn ’t w ork, I’ll start a fourth o r fifth party,” A nderson said. "I cam e out o f now here th is year. S u rely you don’t e xp ect m e to g o back I" F A R R A H S A Y S N O TO ‘C H A R L IE ’S A N G E L S ’ H O LLYW O O D — A lle g e d a c tre ss Farrah Faw cett sa id d e sp ite s to rie s in the p ress, sh e w as not returning to the te le visio n se rie s that launched her fam e. "I w ill not be rep lacin g S h e lly H ack .on "C h a rlie 's A n g e ls” next se a so n ," sh e said. “ W hat — and give up my great film career?” S T A LE M E S S O F F IC E B U R N S DOW N T E M PE — The M atthew s C en ter o ffic e s o f the S ta le M eaa burned to the ground M onday. Jo u rn a lism exchange stu d en ts from the state h o sp ita l put out today’s Issue, but e d ito r D iz­ zy G ille s p ie sa id there w as no truth to the rum or that th e inm ates had se t fire to the p re ss headquarters In order to get the p re stig io u s Jobs. "H ey, o n e o f them Is m oving — bring the to rch over here I" sh e said. N O N E W S G O O D N E W S IN INDIA N EW D ELH I — Prim e M in iste r Indira G an­ dh i M onday sa id no one w as k ille d in India. “ There w asn 't a sin g le flo o d, p e stile n c e o r any o f the usual th in g s that a fflic t th is p it o f a coun try fo r 24 hours,” sh e said . "B u t I prom ise that I w ill try to get th in g a b ack to norm al by tom orrow , if I have to dynam ite a dam m yse lf." PR O XIM IR E A W A R D S G O LD E N F L E E C E W A SH IN G TO N — Sen. W illiam Proxm lre, D-W ls., aw arded h is G o ld en F le e c e aw ard fo r governm ent w aste M onday to A SU and the S tale M ees. “ O ne lo o k at that rag and there is no quarrel w ith th is aw ard,” he said. Proxm lre added that S ta le M ess E d ito r D izzy G ille s p ie petitio ned fo r the award. "I thought it w ould lo o k good on m y resum e,” sh e said. G O V. BR O W N TO M A R R Y LIN D A R O N STA D T LO S A N G E L E S — Gov. Je rry Brow n sa id M onday he w ould m arry ro ck sin g e r Lin d a R onstadt Saturday. “ T h is e le ctio n Is go in g lik e h e ll," he said. ‘“ Love H as N o P rid e ’ and I need the E a g le s' votes.” R on stadt said , “ If he th in ks I’m m arrying him to get the d o p er vote h e 's nuts. ‘Y o u ’re no G o o d ’ Jerry, and d e fin ite ly a drag at p arties. H e expected m e to w ear sh o e s w hen I w ent to m eet B e g in and Sadat la st year. C an you b elieve it? ” The Stale M m * straw poll Moo-' day revealed a new trend in presidential politics. The front nam ing Democrat and Republican contenders fared less w ell than local candidates. President C arter was the choice of • percent of the 9,642,135 people polled by the ASU newspaper. Reagan also received S percent. The surprise winner w ith a percent at the votes was Bo Derek, who the voters fe lt could tie up the lose ends in the economy. S ta le M ess e d ito r D izzy G illespie was the ruanerup with 26 percent. None o f the respondents knew why they voted fo r her. — CONTACT LENSES* soft* 7For9 95 Moot SoH Lomos DISCOUNT ON GiASSB Including Our Designer Fram es SAM f DAY D ttlV te v to most SOFT I f NSES | $ 7 9 9 5 O UR NEW LOCATION IN CLU D ES AN OUTSTANDING FRAM E D ISPLAY HARD TM M .W EAM N G PEM O O FO R CONTACT LENSES •Sort Contact Lw m * F ill you r d o c to rs p re scrip tio n . F o r A o tig m o te m AvoitoM * fOR APPO INIM t N t OR INFORMA HON 941-5228 DR. W.G. AMES OPTOMETRIST H 20% 3666 H M UER R0. S u ite 114 S co ttsd a le EYE EXAM FO R G L A S S E S EL ** *25 VO TE BiB RONNIE KATIR FO R PRESID EN T O N A P R IL 2 & 3 Last year LESS THAN 5% voted in ASASU electionsII . . . . . . Don't lot the special interest groups run your campus 1 Let's break the dynasty and stop "exclusionary politics 11*' "M ak s Y our V oicos H oard" Tuesday, A p ril 1,1960 8 ta la M ass Page 3 Punch said to strike real hard B yR a sa lD ake Tbs newly created soft drink prsduet “ Potiah Punch” is ancountering numerous problems in Ike Tempe test market,- a Federal Food and Drag Ad­ m inistration spokesman said Monday. "W e are getting eery peculiar reactions from test subjects who happen to be of Polish descent and who also happen to be head football coaches,” Dr. Tim othy Leary said. “ It is rather odd that no other cross-section of test sub­ jects has been affected in quite the same w ay." Leary said when the select Tempe test group ingested the beverage, no visib le effects were seen until the subjects were ex­ posed to a sim ulated situation in which one of their football players made a particu lar poor play. Then, “ a ll hell breaks loose,” Leary said. "These coaches would rip helmets off players’ heads, apply knees to the groin and deliver some of the best one-two punches you’ve ever seen," Leary said. “ An interesting side effect was that the whole tim e this was go­ ing on, the coaches would be swearing In term s that would put sailors to shame.” The random violence is not the only problem being linked with the beverage, be added. "A fte r drinking Polish Punch fo r extended periods of tim e, the coaches develop an insatiable desire to c a ll press conferences before their g ra s s and announce they’ve bean fire d ,” Leary said. “ It’e very curious, bscanes when the coaches a r t questioned under oath, they ate com pletely aware that they haven’t been fired ,” he added. Another problem w ith the soft think, which is manufactured by Noe Legna, Inc., Is an apparent serious memory im pairment, he la id . "W han the conches are con­ fronted w ith reports of their ran­ dom violence or desire to an­ nounce th e ir firin g , they adam antly claim it ’s a ll made up and is part o f a conspiracy,” ho said. “ Even when the coaches are shown sworn testimony by witnesses they ca teg o rically deny the incidents.” One of the delayed reactions of the beverage Leary said, is an ap­ parent obsession to begin filin g law suits against anyone and everyone for m illions of dollars. "One coach filed a tso billion law suit againt Ids form er gram ­ m ar school football coach far lacking the dtodpHne to par­ ticipate la the Lom bardi occupa­ tion,1' Leary said. "The teats aren't condurtva yet, hut thsre also a s m s to be an interesting rnmpntrtnn to locate and ana the nearest dragrtrtp opsraior Car conspiracy.” A S U president bans hot films to closet By CUrtea Grabber The X-rated film s banned from A SU 's Neeb H all, which were thought to have been stolen, have been discovered in a room adjoin­ ing the office of ASU President John W. Schwastika. Campus Police Chief Georgie Boy said “ a sm all assortment” of chains and whips also were found adorning the w alls of tbs tiny room, which housed a film pro­ jector, 7-foot screen, and several m sttrrsses. Schwastika banned a ll X-rated film s from campus in December. The reels found in his office were ones scheduled for scr eening by the Associated Stooges’ Illic it A f­ fa irs Bored, as part of the Neeb H a ll F ilm Scries. ASASU A ctivities Vice P resi­ dent Leery Fanner, who oversees tbs board, said she was tipped off about the whereabouts of the m im ing film s by Schwastika's secretary, who was upset over Schwastika's attempt to charge her admission to see “ Deep Throat." “ I don’t think it's fntr that I be charged when a ll the (members of the Arisons Bored of) Rejects get to come in free,” said secretary M erri L y a W ell. "H e even gives them free popcorn.” Schwastika said he was upset at being revealed, but that he was glad it was "fin a lly out in the ---- »* open. He defended his actions by say­ ing the money he raised by charg­ ing adm ission to see the film s has been put into a new scholarship fund far students coming from “ sexually repressed" homes. Bobby Bluff, Rejects’ ex­ ecutive coordinator, said no ac­ tion w ill be taken until the bored has “ reviewed the content of the film s” in order to determine the seriouNM is of Schwastika's ac­ tions. a p p o p p a i #x w o wwtelW HMWOO W PoapppoBP ONCE AGAIN TRAFFIC IS \—r _____ And we’re repeating our once every “one hundred years” flood sale. For “floating” in to visit us, we’ll give you $5.00 O FF your clog purchase with this coupon. TH REE DAYS O N LY 414 S . M ill • S u ite 206 • 966-CLO G Tues., A p ril 1 W ed., A p ril 2 Thurs., A p ril 3 A Career for N O W and the FUTURE MEDICAL ASSISTANT ★ RESPIRATORY THERAPY • A M A accredited RT Program •Approved for Veterans •Student loans and grants available. BIOSYSTEM S INSTITUTE C a ll 244-9301 2526 E. U n iversity D r., Ph oenix 65034 ao o o o o p o o o o p o o o s%**,« » » » w iOL'W o o o o o o o o o o o i A N IN F L A T IO N FIG H T E R ! French Fries 15° (1960 price) with the purchase of any hamburger sandwich • N o t v a lid w ith a n y o th e r s p e c ia l o ffe rin g • L im it o n e p a r c u s to m e r » O ffe r v a lid th ro u g h A p r il 4, 1980 COMPARE OUR EVERYDAY LOW PRICES s s # • s s s s HAMBURGER JUMBO (1/4 lb.) DOUBLE HAMBURGER (1/4 lb.) FISH SANDWICH CHEESEBURGER CHEESE JUMBO (1/4 lb.) DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER (*/« lb.) FRENCH FRIES 43c 99e 90c 75c 53c *1.08 99c 39c : : Combination Priced Discount Offered Daily Just 1 Sandwich lt*s that good If you'rt wearing a SCHLOTSKVS T-SHIRT, ASK FOR DISCOUNT 6:30 to d o s in g W eekdays A ll Day W eekends 968-0066 hi Tampa Center (Behind Godfather's) Good Food Good Prices Pleasant Dining Room IW XtÊM W M JLM S A V X Page 4 S ta lo M a ss Tuesday, A p ril 1,1980_________________ I l" ' ' ““ ... """" .......... . r . _______________________________________________ ___________ ___________— — ,---------- -------------------------------------------------- Opinion slate press It's A p ril, fo o ls. ..... — D izzy G illaa p te ____________________ ___________ ____ ______________ It's high time w e nip it in the bud It’s « M ack day In U nivenityland. TWs Hm * the wanton ones who seem determined to lead us into the Jaws of debauchery have gone too far. The tim e has come for the righteous students of this land to step forward, and in a single virgin voice decry those who would corrupt us! If we do not act w ith heste, the Lord only knows what type of d tfM tin y w n n ijii» our pee rless leaders w ill think to set next. Ju st look a t the record. Last year, Rep. Pooper Scooper (R Leisure World) and Rep. F la t Wrong (RLegend C ity), two of our most vocal lawm akers, tried to farce y o u * , impressionable state U niversity students to begin sm okiiw cigarettes, drinking beer and driving fast cars, claim ing these were good ways to “ get your yay a ’s out,” whatever that may mean. (We suspect it has some unwholesome connotation in underground legislative lingo.) Then they tried to undermine our innocence on a more insipid level. Figuring (quite shrewdly, we m ight add,) that if they could get their hands on a student opinion leader and manage to indoctrinate him , they would have a good start on spreading the cancer of inebriation, sex (gasp!) and the Pogo throughout the student body. So they forced a b ill through to create a student member of the notoriously wanton Bored of Rejects. A thinly erverslons perversioni i perversions perversi« •ns perversions pervert CO N CERTS E M * N S iy Is appearing n ig h tly at th e H eaven H ilto n . F o r tic k e ts be good fo r aw hile and die. • e e l Je rky and The Dry H e a ve s, T e m p e 's e a se y country-aw ing band, w ill be perform ing at the C u sp id o rs Lounge th is w eekend. B eef and the b o ys have prom ised aom e e x c itin g ar­ rangem ents fo r th is sp e cia l event Including th e ir new h it sin g le “ D on't S p it N o T o bacco J u ic e In M y Beer,” a coun try­ ew ing d an ce co n te st Judged by th e band, a w et T -shirt co n ­ te st featuring m em bers o f the band and a m edley o f Led Zep­ p e lin h its clim a xin g w ith a s iz z lin g versio n o f “ Com ­ m u n ic a tio n B re a k d o w n ” s p e c ia lly a rra n g e d fo r bluegrasa Instrum entation. The Raaz Review B and are h e a d lin in g a sold -out ben efit fo r the “ G o ss ip C o lu m n ist R e lie f F u n d " Sunday at A S U 's W acktlvity C enter. The R o llin g S to n e s and Fleetw ood M ac are th e openin g a c ts fo r th is gala-event. T ic k e ts are $500, $10, $0 and $8 and are a v a ilab le from m ost V a lle y b all bondsm an. The sp e c ia l $500 se a ts are a ctu a lly lo ca tsd In th e fro n t row o f Cram m age C enter, w h ich m eans th ose lu e k y tic k e t h o ld e rs w ill w itn e ss th is “ Event o f the W ee ke n d " from m ore than a h a lf m ile away. Dr. G yn o and th e Froety Speculum , a group o f ty p ic a lly bum ed-out heavy-m etal k id s w ill ca sh In on th e new wave exp io e io n M onday at 'T h e S p e cia l Thought,” Tem pe’s dlsco-tu m ed-new -w ave bar. It’s the sam e loud crap as before, but the band got hair­ cu ts. Barbra S trid e n t wlH star in a b e n e fit co n ce rt fo r Barry G oldw ater Saturday in Fun D evil Stadium . Strid ent sa id “ I haven’t perform ed fo r a live au dien ce In som e tim e, but the m oney w as good, so what the h ell. I hope no one e xp e cts a good show .” T ick e ts are availab le at a ll V a lle y hairdreseers. Gov. Je rry Brow n w ill appear at a ben efit fo r Lin d a R onstadt at C ra m m a g e C e n ta r Thursday. “T he Sh e R uined M y C areer Now I'll Take a Shot A t H e rs” program w ill begin at 6 p.m . and run u n til Je rry w ins a prim ary. “ U M ," * Art Q*U*ry of Pole D**len*d try ASU gradual* RODEO CLUB SPONSORS First Annual RODEO FUN DAY FRIDAY, APRIL 4 • 1:00 P.M. at ASU EXPERIMENTAL FARM Price 6c Elliott E V E R Y O N E 'S IN V IT E D T O P A R T IC IP A T E $ 1 .0 0 C O V E R S A LL EVEN TS T R O P H IE S T O B E AW ARD ED IN F O R M A T IO N 968-9924 FILM The A S A S U I llic it A ffa irs B oard w ill p resent a retrospec­ tive film fe stiva l “ The B est F ilm s o f Z sa Z sa G abor.” "Q ueen o f O uter S p ace ” w ill open the fe stiva l and Z sa Z sa wMI attend th e openin g w ith seven o f her e ig h t huebande w ho w ill beat each o th er on stag e to te e w ho g e ts to take the o l’ Z sa b ack to the hotel. FREE! TW Ofor ONE BUY ANV MZE PIZZA ANO RECStVK FRSC, ONE PIZZA OP THE SAME SIZE AND VALUEI A COMPANY CALLBD TRW WILL Bt ON CAMPUS APRIL 14 •14 TO INTKRVIIW ARAMAICS IN SCISNTIftC AND TKCNNKAL DISCIRLINKS CONTACT TNK PLACSMSNT O m CBTO SCNCMLC YOUR ARMMNTMKNT. IMJNABLK TOMC8T %mn)^Bbtt M ISA ftmTAIMANTS Coupon Goad Only At 103SS. RURAL RD. iSSWAiUC W RBSDMRTOt *TR W otrm m »m ißtet vrtitm omx* cm»m em am aai M / S 1 M .I Tkms « a m .-tt m a n ghi • p u .-a . 11 E A > 1 f c A E N * w M a * iS .lW 0 COUPON . «rapactlv*, “ Lit*” I* a muHMiwdla w aw nooow ooo oeeo oo o oo oeo eceo oeo eeo oo oo eo oeo oo eo oo c i TH EATER T he A S U th eatrica l produc­ tio n s departm ent w ill present the prem ier o f G ene M cC la in 's new p ro d u c tio n "U n d e r­ stand ab le” at 8 p.m. Saturday in a c lo se t in P ix ie Cram m age H all. T ick e ts fo r th is one-tim e sh ow in g w ill be $2 fo r norm al people, and the theatertcal p ro d u ctio n s departm ent w ill pay $2 to any In tellectu a ls w ho attend. •C EN SU S’8 0 Mü^l^mî w e rk e fa rt 1900 Punks punt powerful performance I have seen the future of rock ’n’ roll, “ B rutality Theater, «m l mixed-media a rt— and it is Frank and the Alleged Assault. Brotherhood to conduct PR conference Wednesday’s program promises another in­ form ative slate. “ B ig Business — How to Sell It and How to Cash In on the Megabucks, ” w ill be the topic of discussion. ___________________ AZTEC ASASU ACTIVITIES V. P. MINI-WAREH 1T00E. CURRY Rd. at McClintock TEMPE, ARIZONA 85281 Ph. (602) 986-7021 That’s right, and remember that you heard it here first. Saturday night at The Leather Lawn bar, this V alley became a large yellow trapesoid on A m erica’s punk rock map. T his quartet has redefined the meaning of the word “ abuse. ” Opening w ith the new anthem for punk rock in the 10s, “ E lig i­ ble or E lse ,” F r a i* and the boys had ’em dancing in the aisles and on the sidelines for the duration of regulation play, or about 00 minutes including one overtim e encore. Hash M ark, the band’s prem ier bassist, showed considerable profundity on his axe, thundering under the tkxal-lead-guitar “ w a ll of sound” the band cranks up. guitarist Quick W histle spun sinewy, m etallic spirals of sound from his fretless electric guitar, somehow w ringing spec­ tacular crowd noise and m arching band sounds from the strings. Lead s ilv e r “ F ra n k” hammered at his guitar and spat the ly ric s of each sang into the smoke-choked a ir of the first three rows of rabid spectators. “ G et Out of Tontazona, Baby,” was another recognizable favorite, as drum m er P ill Penny stroked away at his k it bare­ handed. H is tradem ark, that fabulous “ Skin to Skin” contact drum m ing, was truly inspiratipnal for the crowd as audience members slapped each other silly to the w ild rock beat of the long. The by-now-infamous dance contest followed as band members instructed the crowd in the latest dance craze, in­ spired by the band’s song, “S p lit the Zone.” “ Get down in that three point stance, you dummies, get down I ” Fran k enthused. Rum ors that the band may go national soon seem sadly quite true, due to the instant local recognition the band seems to have assembled. Recruiting the best local talent from other local punk band fan chibs, as w ell as several transfers from Southern C alifornia, the band has built an excellent starting team of fanatical supporters. This bond deserves the success it deserves. It’s that sim ple. Just listen to the ly rics of the band’s great local hit “ You M ay Have Class, But I Won’t G ive You No C re d it” If Fraid t doesn’t hit you where you live, you must be ducking. terasHng conversation. E ntitled “ Flakin g into the Eighties,” the program w ill b riefly recap the history of public relations, the pnaenfstate of the a rt and the projected future of the socalled occupation. The International B rotherhood of Pu blic R e la tio n Experts w ill be conducting a weeklong aemtamr for students “ interested in a fullfU ling life in the P R field,” starting today in the B u rrito room of A SU ’s M em orial Onion. Y ak T. Boldface, chairm an of the sponsoring organization, said that the “ tim es have never been better for people who can lie through their teeth without sweaty upper Ups.” Tonight’s agenda prom ises an evening of tn- TOM FULCHER R .V . & T ra ile r Parkin g Area, co m p letely fenced and covered w ith flo o d Oghta. New se cu rity system s. M anager liv e s on prem ises. You Gotta Believe! - 10% STUDENT DISCOUNT ASU STUDENT SPECIAL ! 5 0 % OFF ON FIRST MONTH'S i RENT WITH THIS C O U P O N ^ C oupon C a sh V a lu e 1 /20c 5' x 10' & LARGER SPACES AVAILABLE j Y O U STORE IT, LO CK IT & KEEP THE KEY •Rnsktont Manager •Gatas Opan 7 Days a Waak ^ F * n c * d J ^ U j j iN d ^ 405 8 . HAYDEN RD. (002) 900-6722 _ ^ You may have class, man You may be an also-ran You m ight be a student that gets As you m ight bea Jock Just catchin 'rays You may have class, man But f s till won’t give you no cre d it You may have class, man You may have a sun tan You may have a trusted confederate Someone’s words to edit You may have class, man But f s till won’t give you no credit. There it is in a nutshell. Take a chance on this band, while they’re s till in the running. It won’t be long now. Not long at all. —Suave TaM er r "™ g o o I eg g o n ly B r ea k fa st™ 1 99* Served from 9 to 11 a.m. I # 1 « ? # 2. # 3. Tw o Egge, H ash Brow ne, and W h ole W heat Toast. O ne Egg, B acon, H ash Brow ne, and W hole W heat Toast. ORANGE JUICE 10* BREAKFAST BINQO AND LUNCH LOTTERY WINNERS MAY BE FOUND IN THE CLASSI­ FIED SECTION OF TODAY’S FAFER. • SALAD SAS • SANfM M CM fS • sotes •so n nom yo c u s i MUNCH Y «Arantes THE HEALTHFUL ALTERNATIVE O p u iS A M . to t P M W M u n ü ll A .M .W 4 P .M . C w e s / in Io , te w o ui TICKETS setiTO t “ “ w 130 East UnM rarty (k> ttw Archet) Tampa. A3 r Ix o o ATTHE DOOR Tales a s fa ti ~] « /P u rch ase ot Breakfast ' S S fA M AST >IU N CH 5 0 t Bear 7 5 * Well Prink* April 5* BAND Tw o Egg O m elet w ith Toasted B agel. r I i L , A M IG H T , W IT H M ITO SES Tuesday, A p ril 1,1960 S ta le M e ss P egs 13 Kemel, Botchers reveal 'We're minorities!' By Baaass M as U niversity officials are “ dumbfounded bet pleased” at tbs surprise revelations today that Athletic D irector D r. Whole Kernel and head football coach B a ird "M iste r” Botchers are not anflos but are in fact m inorities. In an eggsclusive Stale Mess interview, Kernel and Botchers disclosed that they have, in fact, been hiding the truth. K e rn d said he is realty Mach, not a middle a fw l white man and Botchers said he is actually “ aCMcane-o.” “ Yes, m y man,” K e rn d said as he combed M s Afrosheen laden ’fro, “ you ax me if I’m black and I’ll answer yes. B y the way, you know where I can get a Dashiki or G r id c o a c h lik e s s h e e p By Bave MeagsrhaBs It appears that strong-arm tac­ tics o f fann er football coach Spank Tush are a thing of the past w ith the hiring of “ M ister” Botcher« as ABU coach. " It’s a wonderfu l day in the neighborhood,’ ’ Botchers a d d as spring practice sutured its fifth Week Monday. Botchers opens each ASU prac­ tice w ith a dng-a-kmg. “ Instead of calisthenics, we lay on our backs and look at f i t doudh and look for shapes MkeUttie sliitip s and things," Botchers said. “ Can you say sheep?” One of the firs t prioritise for Botchers, is to change the ABU uniform s. “ We’re going to w ear little fu rry slippers and pink hairnets and tearaway cardigan jerseys. And we’re teaching the players to ’ put th d r uniform s and slippers in th eir lockers nice and neat after practice. Another prio rity is to g d the players to learn the new term inology. Block and tackle are M g words. “ B ut I hke to w ork w ith our big, strong football players. Whan they do good In practice we give them fresh little candies. Once a week we take the day off horn practice and v is it the soo.” Botchers said the football players are growing hoys and have a n t p.m. curfew. "W e give them a snack of anim al cookiSB and mUk and the assistant conchas te ll them bed­ tim e starias every night.” Bolchors said he hspos he w ill have found an adequate punter by the and o f spring practice. “Cha you spell punt? P — U — N — T.U nfS rttnataiy, every tim e I say that word tha players cringe. I know It’s a big worn but our boys are afraid to ovon say i t Whenever I mention the ward I have to calm thorn dopa by ta k ing about little puppy dogs and sunny days in the wading peoL” Coach Botchers also faked about a sst yea r's ABU schedule. "W e’ll have our kids play Pta the T U I on the Buckeye to get ready 1er Ohio Stats,’ ’ he add. Then there’s B la g Around the Trojan, ro llo w the Osugar, B lind B ru in 's B lu ff- 1 think w e lt have fun!” The interview ondod w ith the coach staging the now ASU fight •ong. " . .. W o n ’ t y o u b o a iy r f” a little Teddy P endergrass? Maybe some Punkadrttc? Botchers was just as candid. " I ’ll te ll you, my Latino roots go back a long w ay,” Botchers said. The coach said B ared Botchers was a euphemism that he used to “ get a break, because who's going to hire a Chicane-o cabesa coach?" Neither K e rn d nor Botchers said they expect im ­ mediate acceptance. “ S o m e of those guys have been colored a ll their lives,” Kernel said. “ I’ve had to learn how to disco in one day.” Botchers agreed. “ You think it's easy to learn this border slang and ac­ cent? It's not, hombre. I’ve had to watch over too reruns O’MALLEY’S NURSERY STUDENT SPECIAL of the “ High Chaparral” and listen to M s nolito to g d it right. “ And the food, aye, yayie,” Botchers continued. “ Who is this Jim m y Change swine that invented that sour cream -coiffed concoction? Doesn’t he know it ’s messy to eat?” Dr. I.M. Coming, chairwoman of the selection com­ m ittee that hired K e rn d and Botchers said she was “ dumbfounded but pleased” w ith Kernel and Botchers’ announcements and, “ now maybe that w ill g d those graasebaO, crying m inorities off our collective necks. ” Aridzona State’s M inority caucuses have filed com- n T T rrT*vr-rn S h o w Y o u r I.D . C a rd F o r 20% DISCOUNT o n P la n ts , P o tta ry , P o ttin g S o il a n d R e la te d P la n t Ite m s Only a t O’MALLEY'S TEMPE STORE B ro a d w a y a n d M c C lin to c k l'obstertrap .LbJLlJ.fckft, "Home ct the Original. Lcbster ïtot" SKYDIVE f t m & (Ms WEEKEND! w & c m ' n w eh 3 0 -A p rrf3 - X 96 •Troia It «ha amrahm one-halfpcrokici .A lttK w K c x ^ Û n a b â fliL a o n c -k a lfp c u iv L New^arH Strip $tsah 9exvedvdUudX the trimmiaft foenPxndtgr COOUDGE PARACHUTE CENTER 9474591 scomfiAu 7134753 Afftt-iiMf, m i-m m anaun « O iX J é * S t / f t e * r w t a B f V É M f ili 277-8008 946-0282. TH0EN1X» SCOTTSDALE» E L PASO I S A N A H T O H 1 0 •TU C3Û W • D K N Y E R » S E A T T L E I 00 00 In Running O ut C A M B O D IA H U N G ER R ALLY 11:30 A J M . • W E D „ A P R IL 2 American W IS T H A LL LAW N Cancer Society Spnnkara Includo Vak Huong Talng A fte r four years o f forced labor and m alnu trition under the Khm er Rouge, ae m illio n s d ied around them , th is co u p le escaped w ith th eir young eon and 23 o thers on fo o t, and were m ira cu lo u sly ralaaaad from Thailand. DRIVE CARS FREE and Kant Hutehaaon , C a rs A va ila b le M any h a b ite U .S .A . ve eie M J.C. ossesso sad M u s t as t l yearn or Memo. SCHEMI DflMAWAY RALLY FDR CAMBODIA K ant H utehaaon has spent 10 years In the F ar East and reoently spoke to o ffic ia la at the U nited N at Iona and several sanatore In W ashington o o n com ing the C a m b o d ian s' p lig h t. Kent w ill be brin gin g a fresh up-dated persp ective on th is tragedy and d isc u s s the root oeueee that have precip itated • h o rrib le attem pted ge n ocid e o f an e n tire people. Sponsored b y C am pus C rusade for C h rist Page U S ta le M ess Tuesday, April 1, I960 WQry afygut A.D., coach are horses of different color plaint» with a ffirm itive action o fficials charging that the hiring of Kernel, Rotchers and Rotchers’ staff violated affirm itive action guidlines. Hand of the M inority Caucus, Juan Schwartz said he was leery of Kernel and Rotchers. Schwartz said “ It’s interesting to note that they came out o f the c loset Just when the agua was starting to get cahente. But if they re ally are m inorities, they’ll say so on the census.” Schwartz noted that Kernel and Rotchers had been in­ vited to numerous M inority caucus events but had only attended one luncheon. “ 1 became skeptical,*' Schwartz said, “ When there was everything from ribs to hot lin ks to tacos and en­ chiladas to eat but the only thing those two touched were the tuna casserole and ham with mayonaisse on white bread.’’ ASU President Dr. John W. Schwastika said he was caught off-guard by Uw announcement». “ I’ve known about*it a ll akng>” Schwa»tika said. “ It was my idea to conceal it until the proper tim e and that tim e is now. “ In fact, did you know that I’m re ally not a middle- aged Caucasian male. R eally, Pm n o t I’m really a draft-age Jew ish g irl that wants to meet a rich doctor or law yer.” Schwarts repressed dism ay and datmay about the “ bandwagon syndrome that seems to be in sifting the campus.” " Ib is is awful, sim ply horrendous. If everyone wants to be a m inority, then we’ll have to become white or male or both to get federal help and then where w ill we be? I’ll te ll you where. Today’s m inorities w ill be tomor­ row’s W A S .P .S . We’ll have to adjust to a totally new Ufa style.’ ’ Easier gifts from us are super. Select outstanding jewelry, Seri Indian carvings, Sculpture reproductions, boxes, baskets, etc. Also cards. THE GALLERY STORE Matthews Center, 2nd floor 12 to 4 weefcdeys Gfll Dr. Whole Kamel, left, nearly named athletic director at ASU, early Thursday was swashed by Me own right hand. Kamel sustained minor Injuries In the Incident. Head ASU football ooaoh, Daryl Rotchers, right, had no comment srhen told by reporters that Kernel vrae attacked, except to laugh and comment, “yea, thoee right hands can be murder, es pec ially srhen the left one doesn’t know whet It's doing.“ Former AD, head coach get to point at reunion By Gem Inkslinger Form er ASU head football coach Spank Tush and form er athletic director Feed M illertim e recently ironed out their dif­ ferences over who has the power to do what w ith whom and srhen, when they got together for lunch at Hammerheads. M illertim e was heard commen­ ting that Tuth wasn’t such a bad Joe, and he had a point when it came to arguing the finer points of the subject of firing. The ‘get together’ was the first of such a nature since Tush bit the dust, er, was released as head coach late last year. The two men seemed content to Just rib each other a little about what when down during those two agonizing months of purs livin g heaven for a ll in the athletic deportment. M illertim e is now selling F u lle r Brushes to retired German Shephard seeing eye dogs, and Tush is shagging tennis balls for Junior high school tournaments to pick up a few extra bucks to bity a ticket to next year’s Ohio State football game. The only problem that a rote during the two men’s meeting, was Tush was a little upset over the choice of M Ulertim e as to what to eat for lunch. M illertim e wanted the press conference special, topped with coaches a-lahead. Tush would have none of it, and insisted an knowing on a block of wood far the rem ainder of the day. Both m an loft the luncheon con­ tent A n t some differences had boon stiched up. Tush made no advance toward s M IBsrtim s ex­ cept to lift M s h a ir and ca ll Mm a siaity. MMortfaae refused com­ ment, saying the glue gave Mm away. CENT Ballet West BILLY THE KID Thursday, April 3 • 3p.m. This owe act ballot cantors around tha lif t of W illiam “The KM ” Bon nay — an Am erican legend who was loved as m uch a s ho was leered. The ballet not only reflects h it life , but fron tier tim es, cow boys and pioneers. Perform ed by B allot W est w ith m usic by Aaron Copland and choraography by Eugana Lortng. (Other •election* are alao scheduled to be presented.) TickBts: $8, $6, $7 — U niversity D iscount U n til 6 p.m ., N ig h t o f Porform anco PRESERVATION H A LL JA Z Z B A N D Wednesday, April • • • p.m. H ero's tha greatest o l tha orig in al Naw O rléans |atz banda In a •how that g llatan s w ith zaat and toy* Tha sound cornea from Uw streets, aaloons and riverboats o f 50 years ago . . . it cornea from the haart a of the people who laughed end danced and arlad and no on# know s and plays it batter than tha Preservation H a ll J * u Band. . , Ticket»: «7, SB, $5 JUDY COLLINS In Concert • ASASU/GC Tuesday, April 2B • • p.m. Singer.. . songwriter.. . actress ... film producer. .. No matter what sha dosa, Judy Collina la an original, handling tha many fseats of her career with agitai Hair and aapertlaa. D on t misa har In oonesri — ona performance only! T ickets: 1 3 ,1 8 TH E PHILADELPHIA O RCHESTRA With Stanislaw Skrowaczewski Ousel Conductor Saturday, Mey 21 •Sp.m. Linda Madrid President ASASU De sc ribed to being tha graste n virtuoso orchestra of a ll tim e, Tha Philad elp hia O rchestra has s e ih e n d Irlands everywhere it has performed Sea and haar th is m agnificent ensem ble In ona parf awaanaa anfy at Oammaga Canter. Tha Tam pa aapaaranrs of tha Philad elp hia Orchestra i* funded, in part, by M aun ta in B e ll m connection w ith tha B a il System A merican Orehaatrae an Tour program Ttokets: «12.80, «11.80, «10.80 fit mrunlOnw IbtltltlMMAl riffOfTTtMKKI, .— .3..- . . .. rêT ur Pwliimimgi Bai omca. Tu— d«y, A p ril 1,1900 S f f r M ass Pag« 15 M om about . . . h a— an a iu d lo n c e o f 160,000 p o o p ta a w aa k. C a t c h in g u p o n s t o r ie s ru n t o o lo n ( For Sola________ The Sun Davits a rc tmamfUmg this week in the A1AW national championships, in f w ith two runs in the sixth. Hawk loaded the bases and the Laos scored two runs on a w aft and a sacrifice fly. M itch Dean was the winning pitcher in the second game, cap­ turing Ms firs t decision of the year. The D evils are now 1S-4 on the aueCN Size m «ar bad. haaaar, basa. Sama. m slbees. linar, p it s , 041-1993. S E W IN G M A C H IN E . F re e A rm , n e ver u s e d , ISSO , b e e t m o d e l, s t ill In c a rto n . F u ll o rig in a l g u á ra n le# . D o e s e v e ry th in g . C o t i H W , m u st e a crH le e , S1S 6. I a le o h a ve in e b e a u tifu l cab ine« th a t c a m e w ith II. P riv a te H o m e . M 6 -2 1 27. 4 /2 Storno, brand near, nevar bean uaad, MW In orlginM carton, AM/FM Multi­ plo* Mareo radio, tu« atoa automatic BSR record changM. ca n n a player and recordar, torga ipaMwra. Full original guarantee. Retail $380.00. WIN sacrifica lor $190.00. MS-1708. *12 l ook» suvma • sm u— • TRADma 'toarhM we do with books el Changing Hands. For qualify dotti and paperback (no textbooks, ptaaas) Wa pay 3SX o i the re-saia price In cash or 80« In tfede-ln croati which may be uaad lo purchase anything In the Mora Browse through our two noon of: •Now t Uaad Books •Art Fruita S Posters •Calendars t Cards •Handbound Joumtoa Opening averting* until 9 p.m Saturdays 10:004:00, Sundays 12-8:00 CHANGING HANDS BOOKSTORE U H lm iQ Q iW CLASSIFIEDS START HERE ACCURACY m typing. Eng lis h degree, ■dbtng. 7 years sxpsriancs. Near ASU 9074443. 10 MOR ITI S tram ASU mito paaL 3 Pannata lownhoma. ttoya — t, evening* 310-1317. Mr. Prevsneto._____________________ A-1 t y p in g , spaaing, som * spiana, is m n— —i— tomsa ^RMROr— -- *-*- -Mrs -— i——cin c, vo n— n -i AOU. OMrisy.PST4 — _________________ NEW TOMPrIIOUOE. 2-bedroom, I H bato. POOL PM ouïras. treaPam y frssumy ama. «00P PL, 4Mb Wby. (toys 9044811, sut. — Onus. P80Q477, Mr. Lotus._____________________ ACCURATE TYPING ISM Salse trie Saver more procceacr. Cab Oman's O tiles Service , O NE AMO TWO bedroom, P83S to * up. part m utiles pato. Fumtohad, m m manapamsni. 9P7-3S44. Summer ralos. I n t e r a c t io n _____________ PARACHUTE 13 mHas bom Pheantxl 9S.00 oft with Studaoi m l Group « M e. Phono ITS- W INNERS O F the Good P m You break tael binge tor the weak m dmp A pril 7 are M ika PAjrjihjLfltorbChaaaambng^birtd'Judaan^'^ WINNER S O F the Good Per Yew lunch tottery w n— m m vnaing Rpni r —v (yuan IslB eaea ••— *--fblam a* to ■BBfwHfl ,4i ■■u *»** ■-IPaOvv, -vSnllggOri, VO^rtto avvvftvs—fy Vw a A new AU-717 integrated amp « Ito, « man- COME LET US SHARE TOGETHER: T tN O R SAX, Bebnar Math V L tor p a is sw toet añapa. mW trade tor curved soprano sert Call totom esr-SM S_________________________ Chrtotton Sctonoa Ooltogp Organization Tuaadayp 3:40 p.m. • DantorthChagai Chrtotton Sotonoo Reading Room Mon.-Fri. S-4 p.m. • Sal. »1 p.m. 30E. 5th St., Tamp* Campua Counaallor. uanronn g e m San Taylor. Tuaa., 2:3G4:30 SS7-371P 4/1 u. im e , da w— if— m m —— ^|A| sue — «—nn—, TM O uO IS, vary «toan, DC pomar. Iraauancy naagonaa « O-tOOWix. Mask, « to mountobto. M S S — » IS. topototosia._______________ Announcamantt LIFE TRACK HEALTH 8 CREENINQ (HELP) DM—: April 14,11» IE Thee: l:N •4:10 p.m. INEXPENSIVE RATBS. PaaL occuraM typ ing Near Baboon and Sroaim ay. Can Mary. S34- PAYOrO TOR — tor to o l goM OHM ring you todbp. Wrom luásjMMlAa can —— ** a .x—.—--ton na^w iM Bfr n i wn—m—ion., rtatoon P— arR tohSSSS— pavea a w e i m p pm . Loot/Found FOUND: FEM ALE to g approx, six months, short habed, orango brawn. Found M MTWUmvorsUy mrorso cllo n . P i« IP 76 __________ LEFT TWO-TONE bream warm up lackar on fountain by Union. Ramato. — 119$._______ . A A A A A A A A A A A A A A — ___________ personal________ OOOO STUDENTS save 3 8 « on A u lo Inaurance. Norvsmokar ouaHty a tra 18%. Cab Slava, $36-1400,833-793$. Farinata biauranoa A>U me reaemartro.______________________ aET SLiN O ER N O W .toaam aigm aatoiy.com ptola nutrition. Saay, oonronlant. proven rapen» Cab jaan.SPS-7— _______________ PETRO DO LLARS. Brine aoma homo. OooklM outHnaa epaoriunltls s to Saudi AraSto 93.00 ehaob m monay atdar Ip Orem, Boa 3S8, Huntovata. A L 3S004. __________________ F i!* .__________ D O M UREO homes m min tum p to O sasti — 4410,______________________________ l oommota WontGd FEM ALE NON-SMOKER, new H w nhoysi M iM asmààgli iualm TTWf—a Wa WÉ TvwTI RIRx. H ivg ie room, pootf ufwnwwwn—. SrS/tÉmjuxlA aiftmmotvtfv and to atoc in e. C a ll— — 7 ______________ AOib^riaW*— *» ■- » I trylcGi___________ E A A 5 A A W W W W W W W W W rW W W KW W W W W W ALTWtATK— LWW— PAW— FaaL grato» sém i n r Ms Rsinodsi, fspGk, g P — —iy m^toMA— MSM gBBMgn pw m fe w wv^rooiwi^. im i DINNER - CONCERT with "PAVARIM" KLflCTRO LTSM , MONEY. MOR { — N—w. * T—fWPs^ 4 YOUR M O O — TAKES prepared by a young >1 storogg^^_ a _m^ toga aaxa pP^wvv^wUvMvP^ra*VVvvvTiBvyv^NTyy^Vvb. lar— I'»Simon A Qarfunk«t DO VOW HA— UN W AN TED F A C IA L O N A O # V N A M tf H A — IT R EM O VED P E R M A N E N T LY tV E L — T R O LV M A . LO C A T ED M T I M M . C A L L S H A R O N , M A» IM E . A M F O R T O U R ST U D EN T I— C O U N T . 4 (4 APRIL 11 U nitori M othodfst Church (R o ss H all) 213 E. Univarsity Driva J JF w For losar— ions - ttobotp. eau Htltat - Union of Jowlah Students, J (S 7 -7 S S 3 liia , TYPING: I0M SalasIriB. Ruah (ata accepted, large or smell. FroTOsalonal and vary reasonably Transcription and keypunching to»Q. S31473S TYPtNG: IBM Elec tronic 60 AH typa reporta, manuacrtpt» Hsndmrtttsn or fresaría tapa. Maris, 0 4 6 4 _______________________ TYP1NO THE BES, rilaaartatlcna. tsrm papare, ale. Prctaaalonto aeorotary, accuraro. apcblng octroctad, roaacnabia raros. S4SSED7.______ TYPtNG. IBM SsMctric. Olsssrlatlons. tosas», rorm papare. Tan yaats supsrtsncs. M an, 277 3602_______________________ _ TYPIST EXPE RIENCE vrito dlsssr.allons. tosas», ralearen papara, etc. IBM Corructlng Satectrte. Quabty papar. 6361700_________ Wonted________ LIFEGUARDS FO R summer employment, must have currant W.S.I. 933-1929 xvanlnja artar Pp.m. PAYING TOP — lo r to « goto class ring you never maw. For totormmion, ca ll No Hon gg$. 660$ or R ic k — PI3P mmipn Jay x tbl 6 p.m. MODELS NEEDED M $ la /F $ m a to . A g a 3 -3 0 N o E x g a rta n c a N a c a a a a ry N o O b llg a tlo r« . C o ll fo r A p p o b itm tn t. 966-1674 ________ C a rraR a F u b W ah ln a HtlP WqntGd SUPER TRAVEL opportunMtos throughout USA. No car rental; drive to or from aH major elltoo. Arranea trips to adronoe. Cars available now. AAAOON Auto Tramp art, 3044301 SUNDANCE TRAVEL Sonríes - Free travel eenricee tortol your trovai needs to the bast budaoi taros. Caw esse — H * l p W o n t e d _________ DO YOU ttok much, or fuel practice a lot? Extro practica available nom. Tstaphona solas ——l— ——. aa a — as w«— —m VM"— M.____________ FEM ALE MOOELS: Husband and arilo profee siento bastonea photographer and make-up am ai roam aro conducting Interview» mito nu ta models tor publication In popular MternaHonto m an's m agaibisa. C all Marti to (002) gaesaee H ELP W ANTED: Personal Freshm an! Sophomores I Plan now! Ea an Army O fficer before you graduate. Financial assistance, travel, chabengtoa experiences. Army AOTC, Am. »40. O ld Mton todg. 668-3316__________ H ELP WANTED, flsxlb le hours, part lim a. all SMtta. Apply to parson, took to toe Box, 721 S. MIII.EOE._________________________ HOULIHAN'S OLD PLACE now accepting ap­ plication* tor bus help and dishw ashers App ly to pataon to 2610 E. Cam atoack. Phoenix. LIQUOR SALES c ls rii apaclalizing to win* sals*. No auparianc* nacaaaary M usi D* mature and man groomed 20 to 30 hour* weakly Hours ttaxlbla. store In good North onto Phoenix shopping earner 248 P S iS ___ PART-TIME SALES Earn 91064300 par waak after training period International organize tlon. For trosrvtsw. phone S44-22Q7 PART TIME DELIVERY help wanted. Mon Thura 9 p m to 0 p.m. Must have own car and inaurane*. Can Tony’s ittolan Pood, 997-1641 PART-TIME HELP naadad by Gingia* Formal Wear m Plasta Mall. No experience nacaaaary PPS-1 IPS SECRETARY ANO aataaparaonis). (part lima) to work with orilca products and other pro­ tects Should have knowledge or experience to otflee work. »alas, bookkeeping and have a 0« . Need raapenalbla paopia and proto shar­ ing lor right paopia Cab Prank. Mon. A n . 98» 7188. TUTOR WANTED, math 10a. hours snd la* nagetroai*. 88301 It, heap trying.__________ 136400 W EEKLY G U A R A N TEED . W ork 2 hours d ally to hom e (917000 tor on* hour dal­ ly). Pro* brochure. N H L, P.O . Boa W * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 1817, S p rin stlaM ,Y A 88181____________________ PH O T O G R A P H Y M O D E LS N EED ED 4 /2 P ro fe s s io n a l P h o to g ra p h e r n e e d s G la m o ro u s M o d e ls fo r C la m o u r P h o to g ra p h y . A lt o , N u d e M o d e ls n e ed e d lo r m a g a zin e w o rk . R o b e rt R o b e rt N a v ro ta k i» $46-1168 __________L e a v e M a s sa g a LOOKING FOR WORK? TOP PAY - VACATION - BONUS ps An mmnlng o f nn/oymnnt! Shabbat t auri— 1 0:00 p.m. Otnnar 0:00 p.m. • Oonoart 7:30 p.m. 00.00 • induri— dinner/oonoart 00.00 •oonoart only FRO FEEEIO IIAL TYPING 79c par paga. Fast slid gdohvmg. Hush lo is Goospisd. Can TYPtNG SERVICE, south Tempe are» Corroettng Sslsctnc typsmmsr. Katoy, >314770 CUSTOM D iSIQ N EO rstu n w to h o * you «•( M m É f iS P S Wt tm W L iN M Iilp tN U M E A totola OPw. J E r l a , lAMw ORIVE O ARS free lo moet potros or tos United S to tt» Over 31. Sensali Driveaway System s. 9014633 SH ARE34CO RO O M _ n woe. own room, toan SU SP manto atoo .. . miiio p O aM 044P08_______ • e rs a n ln g in e iu d a a : M o o d p le a s u re , p e rc e n t b o d y fa t, lu n g fu n c tio n , h e a rin g te a t, to n o m o try to o l, p h y o le o l fltn o o o to a la , b lo o d to o ts a n d lilo o ty to q u e s tio n n a ire T o m a k e y o u r o p p o ln tm o n t c a ll: M 1 -4 A 4 1 . C o m a n o w a n d fin d o u t H y o u 're re a lly In g o o d h e a lth ! ^lw^yk$usawwbjxinroroLlutvIn tab*. Trovi_________ M A L I ROOMMATE manto* to attore 3 bedroom hamo arito lara M irar» Non-smoker, easy g a to s 9140 @na w aratura a s s i POP nitor SO S______________________________ C o n d u c te d b y H e a lth E v a lu a tio n a n d L o n g e vi ty H a n n in g F o u n d a tio n Pi«— : Stud— I H — Hh S w i m 0 — l: 000.00 F A crr igportn. deed kbcuroro typist, vary *«— W n PRI, IT— a n »yTTyOO«» J iW t f J T V . ________________ FEM ALE ROOMMATE naadad, S14S p lus to e l xbtotax. Yaur atm roam in a tour roam houea mph se a l now M U .3M M 3E7.______________ HeeNh Sw—iilng — For The— Whe Went Te Know. . . FOUR S Typing Sam oa. t3 $ 4 t1 t. sab tor Becky.________________________________ GRADUATE EXPERTISE guMtoltSSP. OtSSSr rouans, tostato rosearon papers. Quawiy you nan depend an. P eaty, saanaas,___________ Announcamantg F R t t FILMS: on tnstond. Wads., April 1 A-tP. StouRpr, 7 pm ., study tour tofo. CUSTOM TYPING . Near ASU. 340 E. S tobos between BrosPmny and Southern, o ff Coltogs. noto. ANTENNA FO R rruc rowsvx TV, oomptotoly osoombisd, tooted. Six m ontos porto io n ic o matronly H you stani toa beat, osti N « J ] N log formal Oars horn th U o l A 1970 IMPALA, Mr ocnSHtona i, radio, pomar brakae. blearing, extrem ely reliable tranaporiMton. MT». M M — attor M O . FOURSSO RO O M nouas tor M M , tto mitos (ram stM eba- OMl — I M tw P S B — B. M lacollonooua DCS— : I hops you're psyched tor your Bpr- HOST CALCULATO R, M M , etmxgpr. manual Stottottcto, financial, engtoeprins problema. ITS. C M — IM I M terP g m .______________ ACCURATE TYPING R o a ro n to li ratos, food rorrioo. S3— _______ _______________________ 811 BRITISH PHOTOJOURNALISM: Summer. S credits. MCO 4SS F iat. Hoy, 8808011. By A pril 21.____________ Por Poto__________ T y p i n g __________________ 3-BEOROOM, t bato la n n b a a p i. aartowaM hâ^MS — w v^ S44S .inaiIto m •“ — —io-awa— ---- pnos mm—omn. g»--ns v — s s to d o w — m s .________________ game today. “ I don’t want to make any vain statements that t know I can’t keep. I want m y actions to sym ­ bolise m y capabilities,” Davis said. “ I would challenge the student to know something about the can­ didate they are voting for and what they stand for.” If an agreement hae not be— reached fay then. M inor said, the starting date of a players’ strike w ill be dftcusoed. The San Diego Padres Thurs­ day h—•»m* the a n d team to vote to authorise a strike. In a ll, more than MO players have now voted to support M ille r, w hile only one player has dissented. Celeste W iftinson, EU— Coilea ry and Nancy Aikens; 4 x 100-meter relay — Crawford, Calhoun, L in ­ da Pickering and Boyer; 4 x 440________ F or Bawt/tooao WGMG having an opan houaa for kaypunch oparato— on Wadnaaday, April f t , 1980. Drop by for • cup of coffaa batwaan 4:00 PM - 8:00 PM and ragiatar for long and abort tomi Joba. If you ara unabla to Join ua, piaaaa: CALL GREYHOUNO TEMPORARY PERSONNEL TODAY!! 24X-75X0 111 W. Ctarandon • Plasa 4 PICK YOURJOB-PICK YOUR LOCATION A M EM BER OP THE GREYHOUND CORPORATION PAPPLY OP SERVICE OOMPANEtS Pape 16 Stato M — a Tu—day, A p ril 1,1900 E p id e m ic ! s t r ik e s " T ^ m IiA ilkgrr New Y ork - (F B I) Whet most feared would happen, has An epidem ic, of monstrous pro­ portions. to the extent that the city of Tempo m ight have to be evacuated, ia now raging out of control in the hade of the Univer­ sity A ctiv ity Center at Arisona State U niversity. The disease? Envy. E n vy by every athletic coach that has ever worn the title of ‘coach* in Sun D evil country. En­ vy o f the pu blicity, the sympathy, the money that Spank Tush baa received. The coaches are mad that becauae of their placid method, their proper conduct — they, have not made every newspaper ever to ro ll o ff a printer thing. The story, as told to this reporter by a scared, huddUng lit ­ tle secretary, who in her own in­ fin ite wisdom, managed to take notes w hile barely escaping with her life and lipstick. She requests anonym ity, ter obvious reasons of severe repercussion and con­ cussions. “ I was doing m y daily routine. It was about S a.m. I just poured m yself another cup of coffee. Sanka. The caffein gives me bloody nosm . Anyway, I hear this roar from down the hall, it was Nedley (W alk). He just found out Durt Nimphus would be back for another year. I thought nothing of it at the tim e. A typical reaction I say to m yself. If I had to teach D urt how to w aft again, I’d be upset too. Then I bear this thud. I hear Coach W aft yell, ‘If he can do it, why can’t I? ' I run to the door, ask what’s wrong. He takes a swing at me. I duck. He says, ‘see, I can’t even h it a secretary.’ I run. He chases me. Coach (Georgeous George) Boa ta il sticks his foot out of Ids office and trips me. I slide head first down the hall. Coach (Jim ley) Crock stops me, with a baseball bat. Before I go out, I hear him say, ‘see, it isn’t as hard as they made it out to be.’ I come to. No one is around. I try to get up. I stagger several tim es, managing to get to a phone. I dial the sports inform a­ tion o ffice . The se cre ta ry answers, ‘sportos inform ation, if we don’t know it, it doesn’t exist.’ I ask where a ll the coaches are. She says being interviewed by every newspaper fit to print. The Stale Mess wasn’t there. I figured they were my beet bet. I ca ll. So­ meone answers, ’Stale Mem, aO the news no one cares about, may I help you in some sm all in­ im itable w ay.’ A fter I put my boots on to keep m y test dry, I say I know a coach that hit a secretary. The reporter asks if it can be verified. I say yea. I hear the reporter mumbling, ‘damn.’ He said, ‘okay, w e ll take it anyway.’ I relay the story. The reporter asks if I’m over It. I say yes. but what does that have to do with anything? The repor ter asks me if I would hke to go out. I say I just was. I hear the r eporter mumbling, ‘damn.’ I ash if ha wants the story. He aapa ha’s too dep ressed now to taft. C a ll back in a couple of days after the binge and he’ll see what be can do. I hang up. I hear a noise It’s coach (M r.) Botchers. He says he never sow anything so ftagueting in M s life He said he wemdn’t stoop to such methods ju st to gat publicity for him and M s fastball team. I ask trim what wtU he do. BuHanly, he says probably die of obscurity. I tell him to c a ll the M ale Mem. M s cleats were tearing up the tile floor. He bumped into the desr^ «ray with Ms path, I hoard Mm saying ‘dam gone it* as ha faded into the hall. Poor man. H as no fight in him IS STUDENT GOVERNMENT A T A SU A JO K E ? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! VOTE FLO Y D B EH R M A N Executive Vice President “Student Government fo r A LL Student»“ WORK AND EXPERIENCE MAKE IT MORE THAN A SLOGAN t ¡*ORTANT INFORMATION ON STUDENT MEDICAL INSURANCE PROGRAM and EARLY REGISTRATION for FALL 1980 What is it? It’s Accident Medical Expense, Sickness Medical Expense, and Supplemental Expense Benefits for students of Arizona State University. It is a world-wide Medical Expense Insurance program. It is underwritten by the John Alden Life Insurance Company, and is administered by Higham-Whitridge, Inc., 175 Strafford Avenue, Wayne, Pennsylvania 19087. A NewPolicy: All students must sign to accept or waive Student Health Insurance coverage at the time of registration in order for registration to he processed. How to join: Sign the insurance statement at the bottom of the Early Registration form for Fall 1980 and indicate YES. You will be billed the single rate of 145.00 for Fall semester coverage, with your registration fee. Dependent coverage is available at the Student Health Center. How to waive coverage: Sign the insurance statement at the bottom of the Early Registration form for FaH 1900 an d indicate N O . By d o in g so, you are Indicating that you are aware of the availability of Student Health Insurance and you are choosing net to enroll for coverage. FOR MORE DETAILS: STUDENT HEALTH CENTER Student H ealth Service« Bldg. 9 6 5 -2 4 1 1 Endorsed by ASASU